If I were a zombie, I'd never eat your brains.

by xXduskskyXx

Summary:

Reader gets bit, and turns into a zombie. When they run into Simon he's surprised that you can still think.
Or, your a zombie, but Simon doesn't care.

(title inspired by " The Zombie Song" by Stephanie Mabey)

Notes:

I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm not sure if I'll update. I prob will if I don't get distracted. sorry if there is any grammatical errors I'm really dumb.

Chapter 1

Some way, somehow this happened. “This” being the zombie apocalypse, and you hiding in some alley way after being bit on the neck. The worst kind of hickey (if you could call it that). You sit and watch your humanity fade away. You lasted long enough, you did a good job, a few months of surviving in the heart of a city that's now a wasteland. You feel yourself become lighter, everything gets softer in touch and vision. Soon it's like you're looking through rose colored glasses. Your world, the one you lived in that was filled with guts and death and sadness, became.. Appealing. You're no longer disgusted by the dead bodies that litter the street no. It was like looking at a five star meal, and you're really really hungry. But, to your surprise. You're still in control of yourself. After sitting there for a while you get up, and start walking to find something to eat. As you do the zombies don't bat an eye. Why would they? You're one of them now.
Months go by of the routine of getting food, eating it, walking some more, sleeping. And maybe if you're lucky run into a working TV. It was starting to get really really boring. It seemed the other zombies lacked your ability to think, cause when you tried to talk to them they didn't show any signs of intelligence. Despite your best wishes your body in some places was starting to decompose, you could see your bone sticking out of your arm, and your ribs on your chest. Even a part of your face was jacked up, with your eyes becoming foggy and the left side of your mouth being ripped off. You started to try and sew yourself together which was working alright. You could still feel just less. Your vocal chords seemed to be totally screwed though. When you try to speak it comes out in gasps and growls.
Something about the city was changing also.. You saw less zombies. You thought they were just migrating somewhere else for more food until you were walking around and heard voices.. Not growls, not screams. Just plan old talking. When you went to investigate you found that the military had set up camp right in the middle of the city, where the old plaza was, where you used to live. Just then you felt someone looking at you. When you turned you saw a man leaning on a wall smoking. How did you not see him? He had a skull mask on that was half lifted to reveal his mouth. His eyes were unwavering. He took another drag of his cigarette.
“What? You want one?” he laughed to himself. For some reason you found yourself nodding. You should be running. What's up with you?
“Shit really?” he scoffed, "Didn't know they evolved to think. Thought that went with the infection.” it was clear that he was British, his accent was thick. He was tall too, taller than the average man. He held out a cigarette, with his other hand on his gun.
“Try anything and I will.” you nod again, grunting. You cautiously reach for the cigarette and take it, pausing as he pulls out his lighter for you.
“Smoking really brings people together doesn't it?” you try to let out a laugh but it sounds like a soft wheeze. You realize this is the first time in a long time anyone has talked to you. You take a drag of your cigarette, the smoke comes out not only your mouth but your chest. Guess you might have popped a lung somewhere. He watched you intensely. It was clear he was thinking about something.
“I should report you.” he says taking another drag, "I've never come in contact with a zombie that still has a brain.” hearing this you back away, you may already be dead but you don't want to actually die.
“I wouldn't run, if someone spots you not knowing what I know you'll be dead anyways.” he sounds way too casual while talking about this, hell while talking to you. He presses on his mic.
“Price, I think I found a new strain.”

Chapter 2

Notes:

I wrote this half asleep so I apologize if its shit, or the spelling and grammar is bad T_T.

Trust me y'all I have a plan, the ending will be cool. maybeee or I'm just dumb who knows.

(this chapter is kinda short but whatever)

It's been a month since you've met Simon, after that night you were rushed into a huge metal cage in a gray room by other soldiers and ever since slowly you've been getting closer to him. They feed you expired rations as even though you still feel human they don't see you like that, to them you are just a weird zombie. But Simon keeps coming around for some reason, maybe he feels bad. It is his fault you're in this position. The first week was spent getting tested on, being asked the same questions each day, getting blood tests mostly by the same person, that being this burly man with a beard in a fisherman's hat. Does he ever take it off? You later learned this man was named Price from Simon, which at that point you learned his name too. Sometimes you thought that he was only talking to you because he was testing if you remembered. Maybe he was. The second and third week were slow, blood tests came back normal, normal being if they didn't know any better you'd be just any other zombie. You were given a note book by Simon so you two could talk to each other better. You were starting to get introduced to his other team members as well, but you rarely ever saw them. By the fourth week you learned that you and Simon had similar music tastes. He even burned a cd for you and let you borrow his cd player for it. Yeah you were locked in a room for what seemed like forever but hey at least you finally got to talk to someone right?
You're being tied up and for a second you think that they're running yet another test on you until you're taken out of the cage. A Scotsman who you learned was named Johnny weeks prior, holds your arms around you back stiffly. Leading you out of the room. You see who you believe is named Kyle talking to Price, saying something on the lines of “Do you actually think this is going to work?” and getting replied with “I know what im doing” or around that. You started noticing that your vision and your hearing was getting worse day by day. Maybe that's why you didn't notice Simon was there back then.. It's definitely more tedious living in the body of a corpus than you thought it was gonna be.
As you kept being led around, you finally saw Simon. Trying to mouth the words “where am I going” he seems to understand and starts walking with you and Johnny.
“You're going to a better research facility. They think you might be able to help them in making a cure.” You look back at him skeptically.
“Yeah, not sure if it’ll work either. Worth a shot I guess."
“Why do you talk to them?” Johnny pipes up from behind you two. Simon shrugs
“Why not. You'd be shocked at how much we have in common.”
“Oh yeah you have so much in common with a zombie.” he says snickering as Simon shoves his shoulder rolling his eyes.
“Focus on your job.”
They seem close, this whole team does. You feel weird just being there, it's like walking onto a family reunion, or joining an already close friend group. You just watch as they talk, listening every now and then. But soon you start to zone out only snapping back to reality when you feel your feet touch the floor of a helicopter.

Chapter 3

Slightly rough housed you get sat down by Johnny, who sits to the left of you making sure you don't try anything funny. You didn't notice it then but now that you think about it, it was kinda strange seeing them all in uniform. Simon sits across from you, his eyes more wavering than Johnny's. He's looking outside for the most part as the helicopter starts to take air.
“How long you think this whole..” Johnny gestures around “thing is gonna take?”
“It's just a drop off from what I know.” Simon says leaning back into his seat a bit more. “Flight might be long though..” he pauses a bit after finishing his words thinking.
“Uh, how long exactly?”
“Eh, something of maybe 2 hours if we're lucky.”
“Jesus Christ." He groans “you think this one's gonna try to bite me?” He asks this in a half joking half completely serious tone as he points to you. You don't blame him for acting like this around you, it's not like you would be much different in his place.
“They didn't try to bite me.. or Price, so I think you're fine, mate.” He pulls a lighter and a box of cigarettes out of his back pocket, lighting one. This was gonna be a long flight.
Their conversations continue, Simon doesn’t try to forcibly include you into the conversation. Maybe out of respect. Light jokes get thrown back and forth and all seems to be going well with them, but with you. You were bored, hungry, and tired. Honestly you just wanted to get off this helicopter one way or another. You feel your eyes close and yourself start to pass out.
When you woke up you didn't know how long you had been out for, maybe an hour? but something was definitely off. You hear muffed sounds of what seems to be an argument? Maybe a fight? You go to wipe the sleep from your eyes with your shoulder and when you look back up you see Simon grabbing your arm. The floor was shaking. A lot.
“Hold on.” Simon says roughly, like an order and before you knew it you and Simon were jumping out of the helicopter. Johnny following close behind. And landing on the top of what seemed to be an apartment building. Simon lets go of your arm, your hands still tied around your back, you sit on the ground in shock. He grabs his gun and starts shooting the few zombies that are up there, and once done regrouping with Johnny.
“What the hell!” Johnny says panting as he puts his hands on his knees. “Fuckin zombies man.. wait who bit him?”
“Yeah thats why im gonna try and signal camp.” He turns on his mic flipping through stations “Ghost and Soap 141 do you copy? Gaz and Bravo Six this is Ghost and Soap do you copy?” He keeps doing this as he's met with only static. “Fuck!” He places a hand on his head.
“Well.” Johnny places a hand on his shoulder. “Lets make the best of this ey? At least we’re on an apartment building.. meaning. Better food than just plain rations?” A sly smile plastered on his face. He was trying to make do with what he had, you'll give him that. But they weren't planning on getting stranded like this. They don't have that much ammo.

Notes:

Wrote this bc I couldn't sleep, thank you all for the kudos and nice comments <3
sorry for writing such short chapters and sorry if its been taking a little bit for me to write stuff I'm kinda in a rough patch mentally rn but I'll be alright :/