With You on My Mind, the Truth Will Come to Light

by SummerRain_Drop

Summary:

[With an intensity so foreign to his usual demeanor, Shuichi, with noticeable bags under his eyes, trembled slightly and looked as if he was holding himself back from saying anymore until Kokichi had the chance to process the first part.

“What? Shuichi... What are you talking about?”

He paused for a second to attempt rubbing away some of his drowsiness, catching Shuichi’s eager gaze following the movement as if it held great weight to wherever this conversation was going.]

-

[“I am a liar, after all... ”

“No, that’s not why. For the most part, I mean. It’s because...... It’s because I don’t believe you’re evil in the slightest. That part of your title has to be a lie, as well as your amusement towards the killing game!”]

 

What if Tsumugi was more paranoid about Kokichi’s actions? With the help of a beloved motive, she’d have all she needed in order to obtain the information she wanted to know. All she had to do was sit back and let the Ultimate Detective do his thing.

Chapter 1

In the dead of night, hours after the trial of Ryoma and Kirumi concluded, the silhouette of a girl was cast in a greenish light by the sizable screen she faced. Her fingers typed rapidly against the keyboard as her eyes scanned the list of options at her disposal.

 

“That damn Kokichi… What the hell is he thinking, messing around with that hint?” 

 

Minutes prior, the person in question was caught on camera scribbling extra letters on the message meant to be a guiding point for the vault in Rantaro’s lab. It’s not as if the participants would need it anytime soon, but the mere fact that he decided to target it had Tsumugi’s guard spiked. 

 

This was her once in a lifetime golden opportunity at playing the role of a mastermind fit to be compared to the Ultimate Despair herself. She may never get another if this setup went to hell.

 

She was suspicious of him earlier, which is why she chose to keep watch as he investigated Himiko’s lab. Kokichi was meant to stir up trouble, but not at the cost of interfering with the progression of the game. 

 

“I can’t allow this. Not right now… Not at this point of the story. It’s way too early for anything major to be spoiled. If only I knew what he was thinking…  ”

 

As if the producers themselves heard her prayers, a solution appeared in the form of a familiar but well loved motive. Tsumugi grinned from ear to ear.

 

“That’s it! I can use this for my personal gain, and I’ll be forgiven for going off script a little. The audience will love it!”

 

She got to work, making sure to keep the general concept classic but also modifying it to her own tastes. Once she was sure that those two were the only ones who were guaranteed to obtain a form of the motive, leaving random chance for the rest, she saved her work and pressed ‘complete’.

 

“Puhu… Puhuhu… One way or another, you won’t be able to escape my grasp. Whether this prolongs your meddling until you’re forced to comply on my terms… or your true intentions are exposed for all to see… I, the mastermind of the 53rd season of Danganronpa… won’t lose to the likes of you.”

 

===

 

Kokichi let out a long groan as he turned onto his side. He had stayed up late for yet another night, and the exhaustion from dealing with yesterday’s events seemed to be catching up with him.

 

He pulled the top of his blanket closer to his body… 

 

…

 

… Since when was his bed so comfortable? Getting up was the last thing he wanted to do, despite the sunlight illuminating his room. 

 

… Seriously… It’s sooo warm and soft. He could fall back asleep any secon — !

 

His doorbell rang. Not just once, but over and over. Who the hell was being this obnoxious this early?!

 

…

 

He didn’t want to get up.

 

 He really didn’t want to… but for the sake of stopping that offensive sound, Kokichi dragged his sluggish body out of bed, halfheartedly wrapped his bandana around his neck, then slowly made his way to the door. Once there, he threw it open and glared. “What.”

 

To his utter displeasure, Kaito Momota stood on the other side. “Finally! What the hell took you so long!?”

 

Kokichi blinked, his annoyance painted as clear as day. “What do you want, space idiot? Go away… I don’t want to see you.”

 

Kaito placed a hand on his hip. “The feeling’s mutual, but you missed Monokuma’s announcement, so shut up and get out here, will ya?”

 

Monokuma’s announcement? As in… The Kub’s morning announcement… ? 

 

Or…

 

“I’m talking about during breakfast, dumbass. The bastard’s already put a new motive into action.”

 

Oh…

 

Kaito’s nose scrunched up in confusion. “What’s with that weird look? Come on, we need to discuss this as a group.”

 

But Kokichi’s soooo tired. Going out to see the others sounded draining.

 

“Agh, damn it. Just — ” His arm was grabbed by Kaito, and he was dragged out of the dorm all the way to the academy, seemingly heading for the cafeteria. 

 

“Lemme go… Kaitoooo, I said lemme goooo!” He weakly protested. The skin under his eyes burned while his lids felt unbelievably heavy, and he couldn’t stop shivering from the temperature change.

 

It’s only been a couple of minutes into today yet he’s already craving returning to the coziness of his comforter. 

 

Once they were finally inside, Kaito led him to sit down at the table before backing off, dusting his hands together as if he completed hard labor. “There. Now that’s everyone.”

 

Kokichi grumbled lowly at his exaggeration. He turned away just as a yawn forced its way out and was tempted to rest his head against the cool surface… 

 

But… 

 

He should probably check his surroundings… just in case Kaito’s interference actually had some merit. 

 

…

 

Let’s see…

 

Kaito… had walked over to go talk with Maki. 

 

Mhn. How annoying. Why’s she still here? Didn’t they take him exposing her true talent seriously… ? She choked him last night for heaven's sake! At the very least they should be a bit more wary…

 

…

 

… Guess he’ll have to push the memo harder… once whatever this ‘new motive’ was explained… and when it no longer felt like gravity was against him…

 

Ugh.

 

… To his left, Keebo was… apologizing to Miu? 

 

For what… ? 

 

Himiko was shaking Tenko’s shoulders aggressively, demanding to be given a piggyback ride…  while Tenko was beet red and hiding behind her raised arms. Nothing out of the ordinary here… right? 

 

Gonta and Angie were chatting about… who cares. Tsumugi and Korekiyo were in opposite corners, creepily watching as usual.

 

Aaaannd… 

 

Shuichi was sitting right next to him, staring. 

 

… When did he get there? 

 

Now that they’ve made eye contact, it’d be expected for one of them to say something… 

 

…

 

…

 

Fine. He’ll go first. 

 

“…… Hey. What’s up, Shuichi?”

 

Instead of a response, Shuichi raised his hand up to his mouth and began mumbling something unintelligible.

 

Weird, but… it wasn't that abnormal. It’s not unusual for him to catch Shuichi looking his way at times when there were other things going on. 

 

“Something up with you? … Have you finally realized how superior I am to everyone else… and decided to join my organization? The offer still stands… ” 

 

He thought that would have gotten some form of denial. But, no. Shuichi only continued to gaze into his soul. 

 

…

 

This type of attention was sort of… making his heart flutter.

 

 Ah, he didn’t want to think about his stupid feelings right now. 

 

“ … Mn, boring. Whatever. Take a picture if you’d like. It’ll last longer.” Kokichi turned away, but he could tell that Shuichi hadn’t. 

 

“Right, listen up! Based on what Monokuma said, we’re dealing with some kind of virus that’s not contagious, but it could be dangerous if we don’t monitor the ones who have it.” Kaito spoke loudly. “We were also given more items to unlock new areas. I would normally give it to Shuichi, but, uh… He’s preoccupied right now.”

 

Maki nudged him in the arm. “Don’t skip over what the infected have. Not everyone was paying attention.” 

 

“Oh yeah. I guess I should. … Uhh… ” 

 

Maki sighed and shook her head, looking as if she wanted to be anywhere but here. “… Miu has the ‘emotional disease’. Tenko has the ‘bashful disease’. Himiko has the ‘boldness disease’. Kokichi has the ‘exhaustion disease’, and Shuichi has the ‘hyperfixation disease’.” 

 

Ah… Is that why he was so tired?

 

…

 

 … Yeah, that would explain a few things… 

 

Damn. He’s a part of Monokuma’s motive. 

 

Shit… Well that sucked.

 

And Shuichi had what? Hyperfixation? That’s sort of funny. But also not… since they needed him to use his talent.

 

“Oh my. This isn’t good at all! What are we going to do without Shuichi’s help in investigating?” Tsumugi nervously clasped her hands together.

 

“Don’t even worry about it. We can handle this on our own!” Kaito shot her a thumbs up. 

 

She responded with an unconfident smile. “If you say so… ” 

 

“For now, they should rest until we figure out more.” Maki finished.

 

Resting at a time like this… ? 

 

… Hmm.

 

… That… sounded really nice. 

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

It’s been about two days since the motive was introduced. As amazing as sleeping in his room felt, Kokichi was actively fighting to keep his mind from drifting off. 

 

Thankfully, the group decided it would be okay if the infected were allowed to wander, so long as they were watched by at least one person that wasn’t infected. 

 

Tenko and Himiko were in the dining hall with Tsumugi and Korekiyo. Miu was in her lab accompanied by Keebo. 

 

Kaito was supposed to be on stand-by in case someone needed an extra person… but in actuality he had been hovering around Maki, who was keeping her distance from everyone else because, as Kokichi had hoped, the group didn’t feel wholly safe with a professional killer near sick people. 

 

Currently, Kokichi was sitting in the library with Shuichi and Gonta. Angie had also been with them a minute ago, but she left after getting a “flash of inspiration from God”. 

 

Kokichi tried to pass the time by reading, but it was pointless. For every other sentence he’d lose focus and had to snap his head up before it hit the bookshelf he was sitting against. 

 

This was so annoying… and he was making such nice progress with his plans too. 

 

He had locked in on his theory that they’re being watched by someone for a twisted form of entertainment, despite the lack of visible surveillance cameras. With the help of Gonta’s tiny bug comment, Kokichi drew up a blueprint for a potential invention he was going to have Miu look at. However, at present…

 

Miu’s too busy crying about making one measly mistake on whatever she was working on, so she’s essentially useless for the moment. 

 

Frustrated, Kokichi tossed the book in his hand across the floor. It slid all the way to the island, where Shuichi and Gonta were sitting. 

 

“So that’s why I think it’ll be okay if you grab it for me. I’m well enough to be able to know if Kokichi’s not feeling good and needs extra assistance.”

 

“ … Are you sure? Will it really be okay if Gonta steps out?”

 

“I promise, Gonta. It’ll be okay. Trust me.”

 

Kokichi narrowed his eyes. What was Shuichi up to? Why was he trying to get Gonta to leave? 

 

“Okay! Gonta trusts you! Gonta will be right back with Shuichi’s notebook!”

 

Shuichi waved him off, and as soon as the door to the library shut… he immediately stood and made his way over to Kokichi. 

 

… Should he get up and run? Put space in between them? He hadn’t thought Shuichi would have any reason to commit murder… like, in general, but specifically anytime soon.

 

This was suspicious as hell. This was definitely suspicious… He should make a break for it…

 

… 

 

But he couldn’t bring himself to move from his spot. 

 

Shuichi stopped right in front of Kokichi… and dropped to the ground, scooting to sit right next to him leaving little space in between. 

 

“ … Uh — ”

 

“I want to know everything about you!”

 

With an intensity so foreign to his usual demeanor, Shuichi, with noticeable bags under his eyes, trembled slightly and looked as if he was holding himself back from saying anymore until Kokichi had the chance to process the first part.

 

“What? Shuichi… What are you talking about?” 

 

He paused for a second to attempt rubbing away some of his drowsiness, catching Shuichi’s eager gaze following the movement as if it held great weight to wherever this conversation was going.

 

 “You already know my deal. I’m the Ultimate Supreme Leader of Evil… Very powerful, very influential… blah, blah, blah. All that good stuff, ya dig?”

 

“But that’s the thing. As much as you repeat yourself, no matter what, I can’t take that at face value.”

 

“I am a liar, after all…  ”

 

“No, that’s not why. For the most part, I mean. It’s because…… It’s because I don’t believe you’re evil in the slightest. That part of your title has to be a lie, as well as your amusement towards the killing game!”

 

Kokichi raised a brow. “Hm? What makes you say that?”

 

He felt like he was going to regret asking, because there was a glimmer in Shuichi’s eyes that made Kokichi want to press harder against the shelf.

 

“I’m glad you asked, because I’ve thought about it for so long, and I’ve been wanting to speak to you about my deductions thus far!” 

 

It was like stars had formed in his pupils. Kokichi almost wanted to laugh about it… if he wasn’t so nervous about what would come out of his mouth next.

 

“For starters, my first impression of you was that you’re very immature. You seemed to be chasing Keebo around for fun – which was a little mean, but relatively harmless. You were confusing Kaede, getting on Keebo’s nerves… and refused to clarify anything that I wanted answered. From your appearance, to the way you spun circles around both of them, then announced you were an ‘evil supreme leader of over 10,000 members’ and a liar… It was all so perplexing to me! I couldn’t fit your talent into any of it, and your words stuck inside my head even after Kaede and I left… ”

 

Kokichi opened his mouth, but shut it immediately when he realized Shuichi wasn’t done talking. With the way Shuichi’s eyes were starting to glaze over, he had a feeling it might be a hot minute before he’s able to get a word in.

 

“Later you yelled at Kaede in the tunnel, and I couldn’t help but disagree with how harsh you were. However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that you snapped at Kaede because you were trying to get her to realize how much everyone was being affected by the nonstop attempts. You wanted her to acknowledge their feelings, and that’s why you brought it up again later, which shows you care. You’re also the reason why we started meeting in the morning. Both of those factors made me really see your title as a leader come out. That alone felt solid to me, like I was able to grasp a fragment of truth about you.”

 

Shuichi’s expression suddenly shifted to neutrality. 

 

“But… everything changed when Monokuma came back… This is where it became harder to tell what you were thinking.” Then, it turned slightly grim. “After… the first trial… it felt like you were always trying to confuse us. There’d be those times where you’d give vague warnings while making your stance known that you won't cooperate with anyone… When you’d do that, it would be on my mind for so long.”

 

“Shuichi… ?” He would have been more concerned about the change in tone if it wasn’t for Shuichi’s energy immediately bouncing back to its previous fervency in the split second it took him to blink. 

 

“Following along with the perplexity of your declared position, there’s your relationship with Gonta. Those times that I came to hang out with you while you planned the Meet and Greet with him… you felt bad about leaving him, didn’t you? Everyone else says you only used him, and to their credit your intentions likely weren’t candid when you initially asked him to work with you, but I feel like you ended up enjoying his company outside of your plan.”

 

Shuichi leaned it close, raising his index finger in front of Kokichi’s face as if he was being given a lecture. 

 

“And additionally, since we began playing those games with ‘my life at stake’, I can’t help but feel like you’re purposefully prolonging a victory. I was admittedly worried when you first said it, but now I feel like you’re not taking your own threat seriously, because you don’t have any intentions to harm others! You even said so yourself! When we were having tea, you said that your organization solves their issues with games because you as the leader are a pacifist. You tried to throw me off afterwards with the Siberia comment, but that was most likely you backpedaling so I wouldn’t focus on it.” 

 

Kokichi waited a moment to see if Shuichi was going to say anything else. When it felt like he was in the clear, he adjusted himself so he could pull his legs closer to his chest, resting his chin against his knees. “ … I say a lot of things. What makes you think those comments are the truth? Is it just because you want to believe in the ‘truths’ that are favorable to your tastes?” 

 

“Well — ! I mean… ” 

 

Shuichi’s eyes darted between him and to the side. A faint blush crept onto his cheeks.

 

“It’s not that I’m trying to pick and choose. That, along with my perception from hanging out with you…  just seems more believable to me the more I consider it… ” He reached to the top of his head only to stagger before opting to brush his hair back. “There are times where your smile looks so innocent, especially when you appear to be having fun… It’s distracting when it comes to pondering your words and actions that contradict it… ”

 

Kokichi’s mouth dropped open. “Shuichi… that’s the dumbest logic I’ve ever heard.”

 

“I know, I know — and I swear that’s not the main force as to what’s led me down this path! It’s just an observation I’ve made… multiple times…… I mean, can you really blame me? When I woke up in Gonta’s lab and you were hovering over me, I thought I was dreaming. Why were you even that close to my face? To tease me?! Because you knew I’d be replaying that scene over in my head before I fall asleep?!” 

 

Shuichi’s flush became increasingly darker the longer he talked. Kokichi tensed, feeling his heartbeat begin to pick up. He reached out to touch his arm. “Shuichi, calm down!”

 

He was taken aback when Shuichi grabbed his wrist, holding it gently away. “You know you’re cute and use it to your advantage to get into my head, don’t you?!”

 

“Huh!?”

 

At Kokichi’s gasp, Shuichi paused. His eyes darted around Kokichi’s face that was now tinted pink. Meanwhile, Kokichi was internally berating himself for not being able to mask his expression like usual. 

 

Silence passed them. 

 

Shuichi was the first to snap out of it. “S-Sorry, I went off track. Uh… we can move on from that.”

 

Kokichi silently nodded.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Kokichi yawned, closing his eyes. The energy Shuichi’s been exerting had seriously drained him. 

 

Is this how Himiko normally feels? Or maybe… it's how everyone else feels when he purposefully exaggerates his emotions.

 

… Huh. Now that’s really funny to think about… But he couldn’t be that bad if Shuichi continued to come back to see him time after time. 

 

…

 

Ah, but… they’re both sick. So comparison at this moment probably isn’t very applicable.  

 

 “ … Sure, believe what you want to believe. Doesn’t mean anything in the end.” He waved one hand dismissively, forcing his eyes back open.

 

“It does mean somethin — ! ”

 

“Can I have my hand back?”

 

Shuichi froze. “Oh… ” He could see as reality crashed back into him, some of the fogginess from his eyes diminishing . Shuichi let go, embarrassed. “Sorry… ” 

 

Kokichi was seriously starting to lose in the fight to remain vigilant. He was out of time. “ … This has been a fun little chat n’ all… but I’m done listening… ” 

 

“Ah! Yeah… Of course. You’re still under the disease. Right. I’m sorry.” 

 

The part of Kokichi’s brain that refused to allow himself to show vulnerability in the open was desperately trying to push back up to the surface, shouting that he couldn’t relax with another person around.

 

But it ultimately lost… 

 

…… Oh well. It wasn’t like Shuichi was on his list of people he was suspicious towards anyway. If he had to show weakness to anyone… it might as well be him. The person who Kokichi…

 

… 

 

Kokichi scooted closer to fill in the already small gap between him and Shuichi so he could rest his head against his shoulder. Shuichi tensed upon contact.

 

“ … This… is the least you could do after bombarding me with all that… ” 

 

“ … That sounds fair. Get some rest, Kokichi.”

 

And so he did.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

Notes:

Thanks for reading!

I'm excited to be posting my first story, and I plan to post many more after this one!

The next chapter will be posted sometime on Friday! I hope you'll look forward to it!

Chapter 2

Hands slamming against the table was what snapped Kokichi awake. Falling asleep at the pavilion wasn’t his intention in the first place, but who could blame him?

 

“S-Sorry! That… was stronger than what I meant to do.”

 

Kokichi blinked slowly, the shot of adrenaline settling now that he knew it was just Shuichi. “Mmm… Back for more of your hopes to be crushed?”

 

“Yes! Or… well, no. I don’t plan to become discouraged anytime soon. I feel pretty sound in my reasoning!” 

 

Shuichi’s appearance somehow looked even more disheveled than yesterday. Did he sleep at all? 

 

Kokichi glanced around the area. “ … Where’d Gonta go this time?” 

 

Shuichi’s eyes widened before he averted his gaze, looking sheepish. “I, uh… I told him that Keebo needed help with Miu. But it’s okay! I’m sure they’ll be fine, and I definitely won’t let anything happen to you!” 

 

“Shuichi… That’s not reassuring.” Kokichi took in his expression, sighed, then lowered his head back down. “Whatever… Get on with it. I’m ready for my second interrogation, detective.”

 

The guilt on Shuichi’s face from admitting his lie was wiped clean, replaced with eagerness. 

 

“Right! Okay, here I go!” He sat down across from him and took a deep breath before speaking. “Yesterday… I had struggled to articulate why I don’t buy into your ‘evil’ shtick. The actual grounds for my conclusion is because when it really comes down to it, you’re pretty straight forward! Like I mentioned, you started giving us these warnings about what could happen if we openly discussed working together. While I don’t fully agree with you, you may have a point that Monokuma likes to see us suffer when we’re in high spirits.”

 

Even if he didn’t physically showcase it, Kokichi had to admit that hearing Shuichi acknowledge his past advice did feel good.

 

“You claim to enjoy this killing game, but other than your comments here and there that it’s fun, there’s not much to back this up. Despite not investigating the first time, you offered some good theories in Rantaro’s trial, and in Ryoma’s trial you were very helpful in pointing out clues that eventually revealed the answers. You also didn’t call me out when I lied, both for what Kaito and I were doing at the time of the murder and with how I didn’t actually hear Kirumi moving around that night!” Shuichi exclaimed with no apparent shame about admitting even more lies of his.

 

He’s lucky Kokichi is so fond of him, or else he’d be in a world of teasing. 

 

… That, and also Kokichi had placed trust in his reasoning behind those lies. Acknowledging it would be counterproductive towards his attempt at dissuading Shuichi from this line of logic.

 

“If your point here is that I took surviving the class trials seriously… try again. Obviously , I want to live to enjoy this game.” He chimed dismissively.

 

At that, Shuichi seemed to deflate some. “There are so many other ways you could have had fun while messing with the trials though. You have your moments, but when it comes down to the important areas, you’re helping out… ” He furrowed his brows, thinking, before lighting up. “The Insect Meet and Greet!”

 

“Hm? What about it?”

 

“I was so overwhelmed by the swarm of bugs that all I could think about was getting out as soon as I got the chance. I didn’t understand why you went out of your way to trick Gonta into getting us to watch everyone’s motives, but then after talking to Kaito, I realized it could have been your own way to get us to cooperate!”

 

Kokichi rested his cheek against his palm, doing his best to keep eye level with him. His tone was even, face devoid of emotion. “And how’s that? You’ve already pointed out that I've made myself clear… I have no intention of working with the lot of you.”

 

“Right, and you didn't break that stance. You went behind everyone’s back, including Gonta’s, to create a space that’d allow the group to know their own and each other’s greatest motivation to want to leave. It’s like Kaito said. If we were together, then we could have supported one another. We would have also known which one of us would have had ‘the most’ to live for and… who had the least. We might have been able… to reassure Ryoma that he wasn’t alone…  ” 

 

The look in Shuichi’s eyes appeared to become somewhat distant as his sentence trailed off. For a moment it seemed like the reminder of what happened was clashing against the disease somehow. 

 

Kokichi kept his expression neutral. He could still remember the weight of regret that swirled in his own chest once he realized he had inadvertently sent Ryoma to witness an empty hope. 

 

If only Kokichi had watched his video when he had first grabbed it instead of just checking the name… Afterwards, he was able to watch it during the investigation… once it was already too late. 

 

… 

 

He needed to get them off this topic.

 

“Didn’t you get the memo? It was a mistake. Kirumi would have always felt the need to escape… It’s obvious, given who she was, and… I knew that all along. I just wanted to ignite the flame and see which one of us burned out first. You said so yourself… It would have been  ‘pure chaos’… which meant pure entertainment for me… ”

 

Shuichi blinked a few times as his focus fully returned. He frowned, searching Kokichi’s eyes. 

 

“Kokichi… ” 

 

Just as Kokichi thought he'd finally said something to knock Shuichi down, an unexpected small smile graced his face not even a second later. 

 

“Don’t you remember? You mentioned shortly after that you’re ‘always doing stuff for everyone’s sake’, followed by saying you were positive we wouldn’t believe you, so you’d continue to lie.” He stated confidently.

 

Kokichi’s eyes widened by a fraction before he slumped his shoulders, letting out a low grumble unintentionally. 

 

Shuichi looked satisfied by it, as if he had just taken a pawn off of a chess board. “I believe that you had good intentions originally… but the situation didn’t play out as you had hoped. You can’t predict everything.”

 

… 

 

He’s right… but Kokichi was sure as hell not going to admit it. 

 

… 

 

Shit …  He only said that because he was convinced no one would linger on it, just as the group usually ignored his honest thoughts. 

 

Shuichi just had to be different… 

 

…… But, was it a result of his nature that contributed to earning him the title of ‘Ultimate Detective’… or the effect of the disease that has caused him to cling to Kokichi’s past remarks?

 

…

 

 It’s the disease… right? ‘Hyperfixation’. He’d likely latch onto everything he ever said or did, analyzing it unnecessarily… spending nearly three whole days nonstop, without rest… until he…

 

…

 

… Why… was Shuichi fixated on him to begin with? 

 

There should have been other categories to gravitate towards surely, like the mystery of this Academy’s existence… Monokuma’s deal… Hell, as much as it’d leave a bitter taste in his mouth… he could have turned his attention to Kaito, seeing as he’s now his ‘sidekick’ or whatever…

 

Yet, Shuichi chose to dedicate his time to Kokichi… because… 

 

What was it he said?

 

…

 

… His title as an “evil” leader is a lie… wasn’t it? But… who cares? Everyone else didn’t take his actual title seriously from the get go. 

 

This whole time… he’s been trying to convince Kokichi that he “knows” he’s been advancing under good intentions… just to prove that addition to it… was a lie?

 

…

 

… H… uh?

 

“Oh, Kokichi… ” 

 

Kokichi felt his head being lifted back up by a cool hand. He must have been nodding off. Though… that hand came from next to him…

 

… He really needed to do better when it comes to watching when Shuichi moves. He squirmed a little at how light Shuichi’s fingers brushed against his skin as he pushed strands of his bangs out of his eyes… 

 

This was closer than yesterday…

 

“ … Is sitting next to me really necessary?” 

 

“I don’t want you to get hurt, so it’s better if I remain near.” Shuichi smiled warmly at him.

 

The daylight was doing wonders for casting a golden hue around his irises. 

 

… 

 

Pretty …

 

…

 

“ … Why me?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Why are you so interested in me? If I were to tell you… that you’re correct… which you’re not … about your assumptions on my actions so far… what would you gain?”

 

Shuichi didn’t respond for a moment. Neither of them broke away from their position, with Shuichi continuing to cup the side of Kokichi’s face in a manner that bled kindness, and their gaze taking in nothing but one another.

 

“I… ” Shuichi began, but he seemed at a loss for words. 

 

They both were. 

 

Kokichi wanted to put distance between them. Wanted to take off in a sprint. Wanted to hide from this atmosphere that’s being created. 

 

He wanted to hide from the warmth blossoming in his chest.

 

But he didn’t… because deep down… he wanted to hear Shuichi’s response. 

 

“…… Ever since I met you… I was drawn in more than I would have ever expected to be. Originally, I thought it was out of a craving to obtain information about an organization I’ve never heard of. As soon as I could conclude whether or not it was a lie, I’d be satisfied… but that wasn’t the case. 

 

You moved as you pleased, said what you pleased, never caring how the rest of us took it as and are hard to predict. On one hand you’re incredibly smart and calculating. No one knows what plans you may be crafting next, and at times it can be a little intimidating… … But on the other, watching you become immersed in harmless fun, like when we hung out with Kaito, Kiyo, Ryoma and Miu, feels like a breath of fresh air. A reminder of what it’s like to enjoy the small moments of life to the fullest.” Shuichi let out an airy chuckle, brushing a piece of his own hair behind his ear.  

 

“Hanging out with you… I feel like I’m able to see both sides. Your words can be confusing, and at the beginning I was left dizzy. However… I wanted to see what you’d do next. Because you keep lying and never clue me in on your real intentions… I feel like I’m constantly being drawn in, always wanting to know more. What parts are true, and what isn’t. Throughout all of it… I ended up realizing how much fun being with you was, and I found myself anticipating our next game together.”

 

Kokichi could hear how hard his heart was beating against his chest, so loud that he was afraid that Shuichi would hear it as well. 

 

It scared him.

 

It scared him.

 

Shuichi leaned in closer. “From the bottom of my heart, I honestly want to get to know you, and… become closer to you… Being able to confidently say that you don’t actually take pleasure in this horrible game… feels like a good starting place.”

 

For a moment, Kokichi had considered all of this to be a dream… It felt… unfair.

 

Maybe this was a dream… or more like a fantasy. All Kokichi could have ever desired… was for someone who wouldn’t give up fighting for the truth. Someone… who wouldn’t worry so much about his lying habit. 

 

Someone… who wanted to stay by his side no matter what… 

 

For the chance to witness and accept the ‘real’ him.

 

…

 

But … !

 

“In this situation… would any of it really matter?”

 

“What?”

 

“ … This is a death game, where we’re set up with motives to betray one another… placed under mental, emotional and psychological pressure… until we inevitably break. Anything could happen… Anyone… could be the next victim…… Anyone… could be the next to kill… ”

 

“Of course it still matters! Especially because of where we’re at right now, the most important thing we need to do is stick together. Everyone… That includes you as well! I care about you, Kokichi. I want all of us to be united against Monokuma, so sooner than later we can escape this place. Then… once we’re out…… we’ll be able to continue getting to know one another.” Shuichi ended with a soft, hope filled smile.

 

Kokichi felt another wave of drowsiness crash into him. He swayed a bit, head lolling, eyes downcast.

 

“Kokichi!” Shuichi jolted forward in surprise.

 

“ … ”

 

He shook his head when Shuichi’s arms stretched out in preparation to catch him. “ … No…”

 

“Kokichi, come on! Let me help you!” He stared at him with pure worry.

 

Just as Shuichi was able to grasp his shoulders, Kokichi grabbed the fabric of his sleeves in an iron grip. “ No! You don’t… You don’t get… it . It’s impossible… I… I can’t… ”

 

“Can’t what… ?”

 

Squeezing his eyes shut, Kokichi felt tears prick in the corners from frustration, both for dealing with this disease and from listening to something so idealistic. Both were starting to make the world tilt to and fro.

 

“I can’t…… I need to… stay away. I can’t… trust anyone, a-and I need to… ”

 

“Need to what?! Kokichi, please tell me! I can help!” 

 

He needs to keep his distance while he maps out the best way to combat the rules of this game.

 

 He needs to maintain his mask that keeps everyone in suspense, so that not even the mastermind would be able to distinguish his true feelings.

 

And… if he’s right about the bugs… 

 

If he’s right about why Monokuma had put so much detail into making this game entertaining… 

 

… then a time where he’ll have to enact an ultimate plan that could shut the game down… at least for a short while… could approach sooner than later.

 

 And to do that… he’d need to be distrusted… He’d need to be hated. 

 

He’d need to isolate himself… and prepare for the major risk that will come with usurping the role of the mastermind.

 

 Kaede and Rantaro died in their attempts to shut down the killing game.

 

… He’s ready and willing to do the same if it comes down to it.

 

“I can’t…… If I act selfishly… give in to what I really want… ” He mumbled under his breath. “I can’t… take your hand… only to hurt you later… because of…… ”

 

In the back of his mind, he’s acknowledged the idea of accepting Shuichi’s help. 

 

Honestly… it sounded like a wonderful idea… but to do so while hiding from the mastermind… would mean that he’d have to separate Shuichi from the rest of the group as well. 

 

Shuichi… provided this group hope. He’s who led them out of the trials… and his intelligence, kindness and determination is what makes him so reliable. 

 

Without him… those idiots would be at a loss.

 

 And… Shuichi would never go behind his friend's back. He’s likely… still under his own imposed lie that the mastermind… isn’t amongst them after all.

 

It’s… too early… to consider anything further than that…

 

“You won’t hurt me. You don’t have to walk alone… I’m here for you.”

 

Shuichi’s voice sounded far away, yet the sentiment somehow reached Kokichi at his core.

 

He can’t accept his help.

 

He can’t… 

 

accept…

 

…

 

…

 

This… 

 

was all so…

 

… unfair.

 

…

 

…

 

Stupid Shuichi… 

 

Coming into his life… Worming his way into his heart…

 

 … He can’t… 

 

…

 

===

 

Shuichi moved to catch Kokichi as he passed out, body slumping against his chest. He sighed in relief, staring at the top of his head with pinched brows. “ …… I wish… that we could have met under different circumstances. I wish that I could convince you that you don’t need to act recklessly for our sake.”

 

When Maki had lifted Kokichi in the air by his throat, Shuichi wasn’t sure what he’d been scared of the most. The possibility that there really was an assassin locked in with them, and he was front and center to witness yet another murder.

 

Or.

 

The idea that Kokichi’s life could have been snuffed out all too soon… and he’d be forever out of Shuichi’s reach, with Shuichi being too useless to prevent it.

 

“The Insect Meet and Greet won’t be your only attempt to prevent another murder… will it? From what you just said…… you’re planning something else. And whatever it is… you’re preparing yourself for something awful…… I’m right, aren’t I… ? Kokichi… ”

 

As he watched the gentle rise and fall of Kokichi’s back, he couldn’t help but wrap his arms more securely around his waist.

 

“ … I’ll work hard, so that you won’t have to reach that point. With your continued support… as well as the promise I made to Kaede… I swear on my title as the Ultimate Detective.”

 

From the distance, he could hear talking as at least two people approached. Figuring that Kokichi would throw a fit if anyone else saw him in such a vulnerable state, Shuichi adjusted him so he could pick him up, carrying him back to the dormitory.

 

Believing that he’d feel more comfortable waking up in his own room rather than Shuichi’s, that’s where Shuichi brought him. He had to fish through his pocket for the key, apologizing softly, before entering. 

 

What he saw almost caused his hold on Kokichi to falter.

 

Slowly, he moved towards Kokichi’s bed and laid him down as gently as he could, taking off his shoes and tucking him in. Shuichi sent him one more soft look, admiring his features, before turning his attention to the organized disaster around them.

 

There were boxes filled with papers. Blueprints that appeared more like childish drawings, except for one that stuck out. Its design was far more complicated.

 

On his desk, there was a camera from Shuichi’s plan to catch the mastermind. Towards the back was the inner tube Kirumi used.

 

And across his bed was a whiteboard, with pictures of everyone here. The two culprits and victims were moved to the left side, a line marking their connections. Shuichi looked at Kaede’s photo sorrowfully. 

 

The middle consisted of the remaining survivors. The word ‘suspicious’ had been written to categorize them as a whole, with a different note under Keebo calling him ‘weird’. He even had the Monokubs photos, labeling them as ‘Annoying’.

 

But the strangest part of it all was Shuichi’s photo, placed in the top right. Underneath it was the word for ‘tricky’ with a question mark. 

 

What does that mean? Why was he separated from the rest?

 

What does that imply about how he feels towards Shuichi?

 

Has he been thinking about Shuichi as much as Shuichi has of him?! 

 

… Does that mean — ?!

 

— !

 

Ah… What’s this? 

 

He’d almost missed it completely as it was laying halfway under Kokichi’s bed, shadowed by the comforter which hovered over it.

 

A Kubs Pad… A Motive Video.

 

It… probably didn’t matter anymore… 

 

… 

 

But he just has to check. What did Kokichi know? Who did Kokichi learn about?! 

 

As quiet as he could, he reached down for it. Turning it on…

 

‘ Kokichi Ouma’s Motive Video ’ glowed in big, bold letters. 

 

Shuichi’s body started to tremble. The fog he’s recognized as the disease began to overwhelm his rational thoughts. 

 

What better of a chance is this?! In his hands was a gateway to see who mattered most to Kokichi! The person or people who Monokuma figured would be enough to dig into the need to escape in order to see them again.

 

This… could reveal so much about him! He has to watch it! 

 

He… has to… !

 

…

 

…

 

But… would Kokichi be okay with this?

 

He’s such a secretive person. Having his most important person exposed without his consent… Would he be mad at Shuichi? 

 

…

 

… He wanted to see it.

 

But… He definitely doesn’t want to upset him!

 

But he really wants to know more about him…

 

But Kokichi might not forgive him afterwards! He absolutely doesn’t want that! He really wants Kokichi to trust him and — !

 

…

 

… Ahhhhh! His head hurts!

 

A golden opportunity, against a risk of pushing him away.

 

There has to be something to make this decision easier! Think, Shuichi, think!

 

… 

 

…

 

Did Kokichi bring his own Motive Video to the Insect Meet and Greet? He said that he brought them all, didn’t he? 

 

That meant… he should have brought his own as well. The purpose was for everyone to watch each other’s motives so they could be on the same page after all. 

 

If Kokichi’s was missing, that would have immediately raised some questions. So in order to keep the peace in a group that would’ve already been worked up from being forced into Gonta’s lab to watch their loved ones face possible danger… Kokichi would’ve made sure they knew he was also on the same level as them!

 

He was okay with showing everyone his motive video at that time… so… !

 

…

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

“I see. So I was right… ” 

 

Shuichi placed the Pad back in the exact spot he found it. He stood up, posture straight, and walked over to the side of the bed Kokichi was currently curled up towards. 

 

Kokichi was in a deep slumber. With his body relaxed, eyelashes resting softly against his pale skin, Shuichi couldn’t help but melt at the sight. He looked so peaceful.

 

Such an expression on Kokichi’s face was priceless, especially when he compared it to all of the other faces he’s made throughout their stay here. 

 

He wanted to preserve this moment. Even if it was caused by this miserable motive inflicted by their captor, Shuichi couldn’t help but see this as a positive. Kokichi could relax for now. 

 

And he wanted to make it so Kokichi would be able to relax outside of the confinements of this motive. He wanted to see Kokichi act as he pleases, free to embrace his playful nature Shuichi’s only seen a rare amount of times. He’d gladly welcome “harmless pranks” if it meant he got to see him smile for real. 

 

Kokichi should feel safe enough to show more sides of himself to Shuichi on his own. 

 

To be able to get to that point… 

 

“I will get us out. I’ll get all of us out…… I’ll end this killing game.”

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

===

 

Only a few hours later, Kokichi awoke to the sound of the body discovery announcement. His energy was replenished in full, so he sprinted to the location Monokuma directed the survivors to.

 

Tenko’s body was found in one of the three empty rooms on the new floor, a gash in the back of her neck with a paperwhite narcissus next to her. 

 

Later on, in the midst of a seance Korekiyo had suggested in order to commune with Tenko, Angie who had cheerfully volunteered to be the spiritual medium was also murdered. 

 

With as little understanding as to what had happened between the survivors who weren’t sick during his time out of commission, Kokichi set off on his own to collect as much evidence as he could. 

 

However… both before Angie’s murder when he invited Shuichi to join them in the seance and then afterwards, he noticed the obvious difference in the way Shuichi was looking at him.

 

It was… strange to say the least. Shuichi had always had a habit of lingering on Kokichi during times of commotion. But now, his gaze was a lot more confident when they spoke, as if he was still under the effect of the disease… yet he couldn’t have been. 

 

He never would have expected Shuichi to fuss so much about his injury he got from falling through a floor board. 

 

He never would have thought Shuichi would actually thank him for one of his assists during the trial.

 

He hadn’t expected Shuichi to shift closer to him after Kokichi blurted out his disdain disguised excitement towards Korekiyo once they learned of the numerous victims he murdered before coming to this academy.

 

He never would have expected Shuichi to insist that they walk back to the dorms together once it was over.

 

It was all… so weird, and he knew it was because he retained the information he concluded while interrogating Kokichi. 

 

This was troublesome. It’ll become increasingly harder to keep up his ‘evil’ persona if Shuichi stuck out so much from the rest.

 

… 

 

…

 

Well… 

 

For the time being, he’ll just have to work around it. If needed, he’ll adjust his plans. This won’t stop his resolve.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

And somewhere in the far distance, the mastermind snickered to herself as she prepared the next motive that’ll be sure to lead down a path of despair none of them are prepared to handle.

 

.

 

.

 

.

 

END.

Notes:

Just a little fun note that you might have noticed; I used some text from salmon mode. Originally I wrote “tolerate his lies” as a callback to his Harmonious Heart event from the ‘best option’.

However, in Japanese Shuichi says “I’ll try not to worry(/mind) about it as much”. To ‘tolerate’ means you’re willing to put up with something if it meant a positive result will come out of it. For him to say he’d ‘try not to worry’ shows that he’s willing to change his way of perceiving lies as inherently negative, just as he does throughout the game — especially in his speech at the end of it.

Also, sorry about the blocks of text/quotes. I separated them to try and make it easier to read.

So yeah. I hope you’ve enjoyed it, and thanks for reading!