Chapter Text
Lan Zhan ignored his lab partner in favour of focusing on the data in front of him.
“Come on, Lan Zhan, you’ve gotta come to this one, at least! It’s going to be awesome,” Dave wheedled.
Lan Zhan pointedly kept writing.
Usually, Dave wasn’t much of a nuisance; he did what he was supposed to do, showed up when he was supposed to, and most importantly, didn’t make Lan Zhan’s worklife miserable.
Usually.
Once in a while, he’d do things which would test Lan Zhan’s patience.
The last time he did so was when he begged Lan Zhan to tutor him after college hours, but when he got to the cafe, there was a girl waiting for her date, the date being Lan Zhan.
Needless to say, the date went poorly, what with Lan Zhan announcing he wasn’t interested and turning on his heel and speed walking out the door.
Lan Zhan vehemently refused to have any interaction outside of class with Dave after that debacle.
“Hey, are you listening?” Dave snapped his fingers in front of Lan Zhan‘s face.
“No. Finish your work.”
“Yo man, I’m saying this for your own good. I know you haven’t dated anyone for at least a year. I’m telling you, all the babes in our University are going to be there.You can get anyone you want,” Dave smirk at him.
Why he thought that would entice him, God only knew.
Lan Zhan didn’t deem it with a response.
Dave picked up his pen and tapped at Lan Zhan’s sheet. “Even if you don’t get a girlfriend, you can just get a good lay. Seriously, dude, the chicks are gonna be wild at this one.”
Lan Zhan looked to the sky for Patience. “I am not interested in the party. Nor am I interested in any of the women going.”
The only person he was interested in would be waiting for him when he got home.
As domestic and wholesome as it sounded, waiting was all Wei Ying would be doing.
Lan Zhan had met his best friend in the first year of college, when they had been put together on a group project and Lan Zhan was, soon enough, irrevocably in love with him.
Wei Ying was the only one who tried see-through his icy demeanour, the cold personality, and to actually uncover who Lan Zhan was.
Wei Ying was beautiful, kind and smart. Nothing Lan Zhan did could’ve stopped him from falling for the other boy.
Before Wei Ying, Lan Zhan had prided himself on being the kind of person who would never make foolish decisions. Then Wei Ying entered his life and rationality went out of the window.
Of all things to do, Lan Zhan had gone and fallen for a straight boy.
Foolish.
But entirely unavoidable.
Wei Ying came over to his house nearly six days out of seven but Lan Zhan never dared to expect more. If Wei Ying were to ever find out about his feelings, not only would he lose someone he was in love with, but also someone who was the first person apart from Ge who truly knew him.
Either way, Wei Ying held the keys to his heart and the passcode to his home. Which was why he would be waiting for Lan Zhan to come back to him. They had barely seen each other in over a week due to the project Lan Zhan was currently working on. Thankfully, this was supposed to be the last day of his struggle.
Which was exactly the reason why Lan Zhan needed Dave to concentrate, so they could wrap up and Lan Zhan could go.
Dave stared at him for a second before realisation seemed to dawn on his face. “Oh, I get it, I get it.” He punched Lan Zhan‘s arm, making the pen slide across, a long scratch across the sheet.
Dave was lucky Lan Zhan respected the rules of the lab about fighting inside. No matter how much anyone deserved it.
He turned to glare instead, swapping the ruined sheet for a new one.
“I get it now. Lan Zhan, you’re a traditional kinda guy; aren’t you? You want her to be a good little wife and look after the kids while the man of the house brings in the money, am I right? Well, then you’re not wrong. You won’t be meeting those kind of girls at parties like this one.” He looked at Lan Zhan, like he just uncovered the mysteries of Lan Zhan’s universe.
How did he manage to misinterpret his words so terribly?
“No. I respect all women, irrespective of how they choose to live their lives.”
Dave frowned. “Then, what is it? Why won’t you just come?”
“I already have someone I’m interested in,” Lan Zhan finally admitted.
“Wait, really?” Dave leaned closer. “You do? Who is it? Is she hot?”
Very much so, Lan Zhan wanted to say. Wei Ying was terribly hot; bad for Lan Zhan‘s heart, and his libido, for a matter of fact. But Dave didn’t need to know that.
“You do not need to know that,” Lan Zhan stated, turning back to his work. “I have plans tonight. Please finish quickly.”
“Plans? With this girl? How come I haven’t seen you with any girl? I’ve never seen you dating anyone.”
Lan Zhan had dated before. A few girls in high school, and a few men in college, all before Wei Ying. And he tried a one night stand with a guy he met on an app, after meeting Wei Ying, in hopes that maybe his little crush would go away.
Turns out his little crush wasn’t so little.
Lan Zhan had left the guy’s place before they had even taken their pants off.
But Lan Zhan had dated before.
“I have dated before,” Lan Zhan answered vaguely.
“How come I haven’t seen your girlfriend then?” Dave pressed.
Lan Zhan swallowed the urge to sigh. “We are not dating.”
Dave look at him, shocked. “What?! You’ve got the face, the grades, the manners, the clothes, you’re a catch! She should be all over you.” Lan Zhan‘s wardrobe just got complimented by a douchey straight guy. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Lan Zhan shook his head before pointing at Dave’s blank sheet. “Please keep working.”
Dave moved away from him, finally putting his pen to the paper. “Introduce me to her, and I’ll get the two of you together.”
“It will not happen,” Lan Zhan stated, leaving no room for discussion.
“Why not? I’m great at convincing girls!”
“Because I am gay,” Lan Zhan replied in irritation. “And he is straight. If that has answered all of your queries, get to work.”
Dave stared at him, pen dropping from his fingers, mouth opening and closing several times soundlessly.
“What?” He finally choked out, sounding like a cat gagging on a hair ball.
Lan Zhan did not repeat himself, choosing to fill in the data again on the new sheet.
“What the fuck.” Dave’s reality seemed to be fracturing at the scenes. “How?”
Lan Zhan still ignored him. Wei Ying would be at home and the faster he finished the faster he could get back to him.
“How can you be gay? Dave‘s mouth opened and closed again.
‘Like a goldfish,’ Wei Ying’s ever present, imaginary voice in Lan Zhan’s head quipped. ‘He looks like a goldfish, doesn’t he? Except he’s much more stupider.’
‘That’s mean. Do not make fun of others,’ Lan Zhan would then respond back, had the conversation been occurring in reality.
‘He’s annoying you,’ then Wei Ying would say. ‘That automatically makes him stupid.’
And then Lan Zhan would give him a fond glance, which Wei Ying would interpret as exasperation. ‘You used to annoy me.’
And Wei Ying would shrug in response. ‘I never claimed to be smart, now did I?’
“But how?!” Dave’s grating voice cut through the younger Lan’s conversation with imaginary Wei Ying. “You’re normal!”
Lan Zhan held back a look of distaste. “Gay people aren’t abnormal.”
Dave waved his hands frantically in front of him. “That’s not what I meant! You behave so normally compare compared to other gays.”
Lan Zhan couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at his partner. He knew it wasn’t Dave’s fault entirely that he was misinformed but he was too drained to deal with such deep-seated homophobia, nor was it his responsibility.
He just wanted to go back to Wei Ying.
“You don’t dress in bright colours,” Dave was still speaking. “Or talk like-like-I don’t know, you know!”
Lan Zhan paused. “What?
He personally never used the typical gay lingo, but he heard Wei Ying use words like that before, probably to make Lan Zhan feel comfortable around him; trying to convey that he wasn’t a bigot.
Lan Zhan had really appreciated the sentiment.
“Are you like a normally?” Dave leaned closer, dropping his voice to a whisper. “Is it a secret or something? Is that why you look like us?
Lan Zhan pressed a tired hand to his temple, still trying to make an effort to explain. “Queerness is a spectrum. Each person presents in their own way. I am out to those who matter to me. I don’t need to walk around with a board hung around my neck.”
Dave huffed in reply. “I couldn’t tell at all, you know?”
Lan Zhan finally rolled his eyes at that. “Being gay is a part of my personality, not the entirety of it.
Dave shook his head. “That means that could be anywhere. It could be anyone. You can’t even tell anymore.” He looked at Lan Zhan from the corner of his eye. “As long as you don’t hit on me. Wait, you’re not attracted to me, are you?”
He pulled away quickly, holding his hands up in defence. “Sorry, I gotta let you down. I don’t swing that way. Say what you want but it’s unnatural.”
Lan Zhan grit his teeth, irritation seeping into his soul.
The audacity.
The paper tore under the weight of Lan Zhan’s pen.
Dave’s eyes flickered to the pen and then faltered under the intensity of Lan Zhan’s glare.
“Okay, geez man! Touchy much? I was just kidding.”
Lan Zhan turned away from him, resolute as he finished compiling his papers.
As he waited for his stupid partner to finish, he closed his eyes to meditate, in order to calm down his irritated mood. He did not seem to succeed much.
As soon as Dave was done, Lan Zhan was out the door, without as much as a goodbye.
It might have seemed like a bit of an overreaction, but Lan Zhan was absolutely done with the casual homophobia he came across in most places.
A quiet evening with Wei Ying and a warm cup of tea would be the perfect thing to soothe him, although the quiet part was usually debatable, whenever Wei Ying was involved.
Lan Zhan couldn’t wait.
Lan Zhan punched in the code, and the door opened with its usual jingle.
“You’re back!” Wei Ying’s cheerful voice called out from the living room.
As Lan Zhan walked further in, Wei Ying’s grinning face looked up at him from the sofa, surrounded by a sea of papers related to an essay he had been working on.
“Honey, you’re home!” Wei Ying teased, his choice of words making Lan Zhan‘s heart flutter.
It wasn’t the first time he had used terms of endearment such as that, and somehow it made Lan Zhan react the same way.
“Mmm,” Lan Zhan responded, electing to say as little as possible, afraid it would reveal the depths of his heart.
He looked around the room, taking in the slightly different appearance of the space. “You cleaned up?”
Wei Ying grinned again, a happy chuckle leaving his throat. “You noticed! Yeah, I did.”
A smile played on Lan Zhan’s lips. To think Wei Ying was comfortable enough in his home to clear the place up.
“Since I create most of the messes here, I figured I help out a little,” Wei Ying added, putting his papers together.
Oh.
The warmth in Lan Zhan’s chest dimmed a little. He gave a tiny nod in reply, before moving into the kitchen.
Once inside, Wei Ying called out from the living room, where he was still seated.“ Lan Zhan, are you okay?”
The other man paused, as he opened the overhead cabinets. “I….I am alright, Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying huffed, his voice conveying the knowing expression he probably had on his face. “Clearly not. What happened?”
Lan Zhan drew out the tea, placing it next to the stove. “It was nothing. My lab partner was being homophobic, that’s all.”
“Oh, wow. Sounds like a dick,” Wei Ying answered, the mirth back in his words. “Even then, that’s really sweet of you, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Zhan filled the kettle, brows knitting together. Sweet? What did Wei Ying mean?
“Sweet?” He called out, a question.
“I mean, you got all worked up because some guy was being an asshole. It’s sweet how sincere towards the queer community.”
Lan Zhan’s hands paused in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be sincere?”
“Well, you know, how straight people claim to be allies, but it’s only according to their convenience? It’s nice that you’re standing up like this.”
Lan Zhan stilled.
What.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan called out to the other room, surprise colouring his tone. “Wei Ying, I’m gay.”
Absolute silence reigned in the house.
The kettle began to whistle, the screeching sound shattering through the silent air.
“Huh?” Wei Ying finally called out.
“You knew,” Lan Zhan answered. “Wei Ying, you knew that.”
Wei Ying seemed to be at a loss for words to say, for once. “I-what? I did?”
Lan Zhan stayed in the kitchen while the pattering of his best friend’s footsteps echoed as Wei Ying reached the door.
“I didn’t know!” Wei Ying protested, shock written on his face.
Lan Zhan turned away, picking up the kettle to pour the water in a mug. What a terrible realisation for the both of them. “Well, now you know.”
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying spoke, softer than Lan Zhan had ever heard him. “Does this mean you’re attracted to men?”
Lan Zhan, a tense feeling welling up inside. Not this again.
“That is what gay generally means,” Lan Zhan answered, refusing to look at them man in the doorway, opting to stir at his tea instead.
“Then,” Wei Ying was quiet; uncharacteristically so. “Have you ever-I don’t know-ever been attracted to me?”
Lan Zhan really did not expect him to say something like this. All this while, he thought Wei Ying knew him.
He threw the spoon in the sink with a clang. Disappointment filled his mouth, sad and ugly.
“I might be gay, but I still have standards,” Lan Zhan intoned, turning completely away from Wei Ying.
A quiet breath sounded from behind him.
“Ah-of course, I-yeah, you’re right. Absolutely,” Wei Ying stammered, a high-pitched laugh, accompanying his words. “Any-Anyway, I just remembered, I need to get going, uh-I’ll see you, Lan Zhan.”
A flurry of noises and the door slammed shut, taking all of Lan Zhan’s joy with it.