Chapter 1: Hero Chasers
Chapter Text
✵ Katsuki ✵
Katsuki Bakugou had always been competitive. It was just his nature.
So when Kirishima had asked him last week to be the best man in he and Mina’s wedding he made damn sure that he was going to be the best best man.
The wedding was only a few weeks from now. The planning had been done. The wedding party trip was booked. Katsuki’s parents had helped make Mina’s dress and Kirishima suit.
Everything was shaping up to be perfect.
Everything except for the fact that Katsuki and Izuku were going to have to spend more than a few minutes in the same room without killing each other.
Listen, they were mature now, 25 years old. They had moved on from middle school and the war. Katsuki was the first person to crawl to Izuku when his quirk finally faded, and the last person to admit that he was still a better hero than him, regardless.
They were okay.
That’s what Izuku would say anyway.
For Katsuki things still felt,
Fleeting?
Is that a word he could use?
He still struggled to completely understand his own feelings after years of suppressing them and now even more years of analyzing them in therapy. With Izuku it always felt like he was slipping away, even when he was right there in front of him. They saw each other weekly, if not daily. They had a consistent routine of Katsuki volunteering at UA to help the teacher with his brats. Izuku and him often rotated on the same patrol, and there was also dinner they would have together with his parents. Occasionally, the whole class could get together if the crime was low on a random night and share a drink.
It made Katsuki feel guilty that it didn't feel like enough for him.
Katsuki had wanted nothing more than to allow Izuku to be a hero again. Not just to stand at his side, compete with him until the end of their days, but also because Izuku was the most deserving person Katsuki had ever met. But somewhere deep down inside him too, he had also hoped that Izuku would see through him, burrow into his mind and understand what was right in front of him.
He hadn't been completely transparent the night he asked Izuku to join his agency, at least that’s what Kirishima told him. Katsuki didn't know how he could've made it any clearer. Izuku was observant, more analytic and smarter than anyone they graduated with. Katsuki didn't think he would have to explain that wanting to have someone next to you, close to you, for the rest of their lives meant that they needed you there too.
But for what Izuku had in observation he had equal parts oblivion.
Hell he hadn't even picked up on the fact that Katsuki hated his guts for years.
The thought of his middle school self caused him to shiver.
So Izuku chose teaching. He found his passion mixed with something he was amazing at and on top of it all he maintained his top ten hero rank while only picking up extra shifts. Katsuki tries to remember when the change happened. When Katsuki become a background character for Izuku and not the person he focused on most. Four year old Izuku had been thrilled at the idea of being Katsuki’s partner.
It must have fallen between the cracks in the years where he told his best friend to kill himself and the day he died in the war.
Katsuki had tried to move past it. They were now the fourth and the fifth hero in the nation, Katsuki right on the green boys heels. Right where he wanted to be. He would pretend it was good enough for him.
He ignored the way his gut turned at the thought of Izuku.
Sometimes Katsuki would push the thought of the boy out completely. He had Kirishima and Kaminari and even Mina and Jirou and Sero if they werent being too annoying. The scum bastard, Todoroki, lived just across hall, and they’d shared the occasional drink while letting their cats hang out. He had friends. More than he wanted. So why did he feel so differently about Izuku?
Why did he feel like he filled a bigger hole than the others did?
His therapist had told him maybe he had deeper feelings for Izuku than the others. No shit he thought to himself. He had known the kid for double the amount of the others. When he told her that, all she did was sigh and scribble some more jargon on the paper in front of her. He wished she would just tell him what she really thought.
The past few days had been extremely exhausting for the blonde as he woke up early for shifts, typically dropped by UA for lunch or teaching, and then spent most of his afternoons on hotel websites and viewing tourism packages.
Katsuki had pitched Hokkaido. Skiing, hotsprings, cool weather, it made sense for the October trip. Kirishima and Mina, however both agreed that they did not want to spend the trip ‘being active’ and would rather go to a beach and lounge around. Katsuki hated not being busy, but it wasn't his wedding.
Okinawa it was then.
He had found a luxurious hotel that would suit the large wedding party, open bar, pools, the whole thing. When he had sent it to Kirishima for approval he had gotten a ‘Super manly, bro’ text and took that as an okay to book it.
Since there was seven men and seven women in the party that meant that Katsuki got to have his own room. He paired the rest up with little thought. Mina and Kirishima obviously, Kaminari and Shinsou (Boyfriends), Todoroki and Sero (Boyfriends), himself, and finally Izuku and Monoma (They’d get over it). With the girls he tried his best to remember which ones were closer but for lack of knowledge he quickly paired them as, Yaoyorozu and Jirou, Hagakure and Asui, Camie and Nejire, and then Uraraka by herself. She probably deserved that much at least, being the maid of honor and all.
Speaking of, Uraraka had called him in a panic when Mina had asked her to be maid of honor. He had slightly more of a tolerance for round cheeks after she’d lost Toga. He didn't see her as the young perky girl any more. If anything, their personalities were the closest in the class these days. They’d both mellowed out into slightly pessimistic but hard working heroes. So when she called him scared that the planning would take away from her counseling clinic she had worked so hard to get open this year he told her he would take care of it. If she could just take care of the ceremony, Katsuki said he could do the rest.
So yeah, they both deserved their space. It was only four days anyway.
When he had asked Mina if that all looked right she had given him a sideways glance asking if ‘He really wanted his own room?’ He scoffed at her saying he’d rather be alone than share with any of those sloppy bastards.
That was mostly true, but if he was being honest, Katsuki had always felt weird sharing his space with others.
Maybe it was the only child in him, or the fact that he hadn't ever had to share a room. Maybe it was the fact that when people were near him, if anyone got to close to him, people always seemed to get hurt-
“Don’t use your head too much it might explode” He woke from his thoughts when a heavy arm was thrown over his shoulder.
Right, he was at dinner.
He needed to stop spacing out like this.
Kirishima and Mina had invited the entire party out for drinks to discuss plans for the trip and the wedding. With everyone in the party being full time heroes finding a night was some what difficult. So 11:00 p.m. on a Tuesday it was.
Monoma squeezed his shoulder a little harder when he still hadn't answered. “I’m just tired” He responded, giving a ingeniune smile as everyone watched him. “You know I don't stay up late” He tried to joke.
Kaminari leaned forward on the table. “What I'm more surprised by is that you haven't decimated Monoma’s arm to pieces” He laughed.
“I’m shocked you know the word decimated ” Monoma quipped back. Katsuki scowled back at them, still not removing the arm. “Besides, he wouldn't do that to a pal of his” Monoma leaned his head on Katsuki’s shoulder, squeezing even tighter. To that Katsuki did push his head off, but still made no effort to get away from his grip.
Katsuki never liked touch. Everyone in class A knew it. From the moment he stepped foot in the building he had practically declared he didn't want friends and he sure as hell didn't want affection. When they all first met, they reasoned it had to do with his shitty persontality and his lack of care for others. No one thought anything close to that now.
That’s why they only laughed as Monoma reached up to squeeze one of Katsuki’s cheeks.
The real reason Katsuki hadn't liked affection was because Katsuki had always been a weapon.
Since four years old, he had gained the ability to explode just about anything with as little as a bead of sweat. When you have bombs for hands, touching the ones you love feels like a threat. So he would push people away, even when he craved the touch.
Kirishima gave him a small and sad smile, reaching over to punch his arm. It had started with him. One day, sometime in their second year, they’d been training. Katsuki’s quirk was sloppy after the war, his arm wasn't recovered and his heartrate always went too high too fast. He had been new to his hearing aids, making it hard to hear when attacks were coming. He had felt so frustrated those first few months, starting back at square one.
So they'd been sparring as usual, except Katsuki was angry, and hurting, and useless, and-
The explosion was too big, too much for training with someone like Kirishima.
He panicked, ran to the boy already cursing himself for the damage he may have done. But somehow, the red head remained standing. He too had discovered a quirk awakening during the battle, he was harder than ever. That's when they realized Katsuki’s quirk couldnt hurt him anymore.
The old Katsuki would've been pissed. He would've thrown a tantrum, found a way around it, refused to believe someone was invincible against him. Instead, Katsuki ran to him.
Alone in the gym, where he didn't have to hide, he threw himself into Kirishima’s arms. He didn't release his quirk, hugging back as much as he could. Katsuki relaxed into it. Kirishima didn't question the tears, or why he had freaked out in the first place. From then on, affection became easier on Katsuki.
He slowly let others in.
Ironically, the next best person was Neito Monoma.
This time it was third year, graduation to be exact. It was tradition to pull a prank, go out with a bang. Of all the quirks in class three, Katsuki’s was the most obvious. He accepted the challenge, but he still wasn't doing 100% with his bad arm. Monoma had gladly volunteered to copy his quirk and make the explosion something really worth wanting.
Monoma let off an explosion a couple days befoe with Recovery girl close by, there was no telling if the explosion would burn his hand or not. He let out a few small pops, laughing manically when there was no pain with it.
Katsuki, again, should be upset, should be completely humiliated that someone elses body could with stand a quirk that was his.
Instead, he reached out and touched the hand.
Monoma wasn't the prick he used to be, he had watched Katsuki die after all. He was one of the first people at his bedside when he woke up. He didn't pick on him for being kidnapped or ending all Mights career. He spoke gently with him, he was a good friend.
So he didn't flinch when Katsuki touched him, instead he just squeezed back.
And now, Monoma did this everytime they saw eachother. He would quietly copy his quirk, not even mentioning it these days. He would ruffle Katsuki’s hair, give him small bits of physical touch. The others always found it odd, but Kirishima knew.
So no matter how much the poor red head despised Monoma and found him desperately annoying, of course he was put into his wedding party.
Kirihsima loved Katsuki and that’s all it took.
“Shuddup” He finally said unconvincing.
The jangle of the door finally gave an excuse for everyones attention to divert else where. Instinctively, Katsuki looked up too.
The squeeze he had on the glass tightened just a bit more as the man walked in. Of course he was late, and of course no one complained about it. It was Izuku, disheveled and smiling, and heading over to them as if the sun was still shining outside.
“Izuku!” Mina piped up.
He looked like he always did these days. Katsuki wasn't dumb, he knew that his friend was attractive. Even quirkless, he had grown bigger than most of their graduating class. His suit jacket, that he still was determined to wear to work, now hung over the bag he had around his shoulder. The white shirt being all that was left now hung tightly across his arms and chest. His pants, too tight, too long, clung to the thighs he relied on all those years back. The camera he had recently become obsess with poking dangerously out of his bag. His hair was curly, slightly sticking out where the humidity had gotten to him and it clung just above the tanned freckled nose.
Izuku jumped as he scanned the room for them. He still had on the obnoxiously big and obnoxiously childish All Might limited addition headphones that Katsuki had gotten him for his 17th birthday.
He boyishly swiped them off before waving at the table. He sat his bag and suit jacket down haphazardly on the floor next to the empty seat available next to Uraraka. Katsuki rolled his eyes at the lack of care Izuku had for his own belongings. He sat across from Izuku now, still not having been graced with eye contact yet.
“I better take this away” Monoma whispered in his ear while pulling his arm free from Katsuki’s back. “Wouldn’t want blackwhip making a grand revival” He gave him a pat before releasing completely.
Katsuki reeled back at the words. Black whip? What did that have to do with Katsuki, or even Izuku at this point? “What’s that sup-”
Monoma quickly shut him up with a tap to the arm, pointing his finger in front of him.
Katsuki, thrown off by what had just occurred looked dumbly at whatever he was pointing at. Izuku was looking at him with the same dopey smile he always used for the boy. He quickly made hand gestures towards Katsuki, poking his tongue into his cheek as he concentrated.
Sign language.
Katsuki’s heart fluttered. He quickly adjusted the device on his chest. Damn heart monitor.
A few people in the class, as well as the older heroes who had grown quite fond of Dynamight, had begun learning sign language quickly after his hearing became shot. Izuku struggled with it more than the others. Not because he was dumb, definitley not that, but because his hands weren't what they once were.
After years of constantly breaking, and even losing his arms at one point, he developed horrible arthritis. This meant making the complicated motions of sign language could be painful at times. Katsuki never stopped him though, he wouldn’t ever stop whatever Izuku pursues again.
Hi Kacchan
Katsuki gave a small wave back as the others began to chat to one another again. Instead of completely spelling out Katsuki or Kacchan or Bakgou like the others did Izuku had come up with his own symbol, a ‘Ka’ held right at his chest.
Katsuki could feel the alcohol causing him to blush.
Izuku smiled brightly again before thinking for a moment. Your hair looks nice . He signed it with a concentrated face on.
Katsuki brushed a hand on the back of his head in response to the statement. Earlier that day he had gotten a haircut that he had desperately needed. He didn't wear a mask anymore, maybe a metaphor, maybe just because he got tired of applying eyeliner everyday. Regardless, he had a small headband to hold back the unruly spikes in his hair. At the back lay two tails inspired by the man that had saved his life, Edgeshot. The only problem was Katsuki’s hair was long enough to get tangled in the two pieces of thread during battles.
So when he finally had enough, he scheduled an appointment that left him with an undercut just thin enough to solve the problem.
Katsuki coughed a little while Izuku still watched him. “Thank you” He chose to say outloud, feeling threatened by the intimacy that was speaking without others hearing.
They held eye contact for what felt like to long for Katsuki. Words were left on the tip of Izuku tongue, he could see it. What could he do to push those words out? Why had their been an air between them recently? What had changed? “Kac-” Izuku started.
“Izu-” He started at the same time.
“Okay, everyone!” Mina said louder than both of them resulting in the room shifting to her attention.
Katsuki looked away first, feeling the way Izuku’s eyes lingered just a little bit longer. He hated the way those eyes made him feel sometimes, but at same time, he didn't want them to every leave him.
Once everyone quited down, Mina spoke up again. “Thank you all so much for coming!” A few people hooped and hollared at her excitment. “As you all know, we leave for the trip in nine days!” She clapped her hands together happily.
Katsuki quickly shut down the grin that had found its way on his face. He knew he didn't have to pretend to be the tough and unbothered person anymore, but it was reflexive.
Kirishima spoke up this time. “Thanks to my super manly best bro” He gave Katsuki's shoulder a thorough whack. Katsuki hated the attention on him. “We have itineraries and packing lists to hand out ot each of you!” He handed the papers down to Katsuki.
No, no, no, no.
He had given those to Mina for a reason . He didn't want everyone to know he was doing everything. He had planned every detail of this trip, if anything went wrong everyone would know it was his fault. Everyone would know he is a-
“You wanna hand them out now, man?” Kirishima looked at him a little concerned.
He grabbed them from his friend, hoping it hadn't been too long since he first asked. “Sure” He mumbled.
He passed them around the table, they were organzied by name and partner. He and Uraraka were paired for the wedding as Maid of honor and Best man. From there it went Jirou and Kaminari, Asui and Sero, Momo and Izuku, Hagakure and Todoroki, Nejire and Shinsou, and finally Camie and Monoma.
Of course Kirishima and and Mina had requested that their photoshoot on the first day be color coded by the order of the rainbow, meaning Katsuki had to ask his mother for even more fashion advice when making the dress code for each pair.
He hated the way peoples eyes lit up in amazement at the organziation. He felt his face turning red. He had wanted everything to be perfect but he was also embarrassed by the extreme detail he went into.
“Kacchan!” Izuku spoke out loud this time. Katsuki whipped his head towards him, already preparing for gentle jokes being sent his way. The nerd could hardly keep up with the students papers let alone create something like this, he already had the defenses ready. “This is amazing” Izuku flipped the page over already mumbling to himself about the amazing layout and margins.
Everyone joined in after that, some making comments about the plans they had set and how exciting some of them sounded.
“Obviously” He tsk’d at everyones comments, pretending like the encouragement hadn't taken a giant relief off his shoulders. He looked down at his own itinerary.
It was pretty fucking amazing considering they had told him what they wanted just a few weeks before the trip was to set in motion.
“This is very unlike you, Kero” Asui chirped up from the corner of the table.
Sero nudged his side. “Yeah, Bakubro I didn't know you had all this in you” He teased. He and Sero had both gone to work for Best Jeanist straight out of high school together. Katsuki admired him as a mentor, and his quirk was extremely helpful for Sero’s fighting style. Sero knew exactly what Katsuki’s paperwork typically looked like.
This really wasn’t or at least shouldn't be a surprise to anyone.
“Kacchan’s always been amazing at his attention to detail!” Izuku perked up at the opportunity to defend Katsuki.
Katsuki instantly got the gut reaction to flip it back on him. Compliments, comments, observations from anyone else were one thing. When they came from Izuku it was always paired with some sense of dread. You don't deserve to hear him praise you. “Says the nerd” Katsuki scoffed.
That got the table to laugh and slowly move on from all the attention they were putting towards him. He wippd his hands on his jeans quickly realizing how sweaty they had become with the liquor, the lights, and the beady eyes staring at him from across the table.
He heard a couple questions that he was grateful Mina was answering as he focused on his glass in front of him. He really was tired. While he was mostly joking about going to bed early, he still had to go home to feed his cat and then finish up some paper work from a theft earlier in the day.
He was about to speak up when the flash of a camera caused him to jump instead. He could feel his ears become beckons of heat and color as he saw the camera held at Izuku’s face. “What the hell was that for?” He said much sharper than he meant to.
Izuku held the camera from his face, looking back at the picture he just took. He had the audacity to ignore Katsuki's attitude still smiling at whatever he had captured.
Katsuki suddenly felt insecure, brushing a hand through his hair again. “It’s a good one” Izuku smiled, turning it with it still around his neck. It forced the man to lean over the table and meet Katsuki closer. Katsuki reached up to grab his wrist, steadying the image and looking briefly at it.
He roughly pushed Izuku back into his seat, not successfully ruining the idiots mood. “Stalker” He commented since the picture wasn’t actually half bad and he didn't want to totally be an asshole about Izuku's new hobby.
Izuku took the camera off his neck, setting it next to him. Katsuki could swear he almost seemed embarrassed too. It felt too quiet again as they looked at each other. Why had things become so awkward for them lately? “I just like capturing moments like these” Izuku smiled, it didn't seem as genuine this time. “I love my friends” He shrugged.
Katsuki didn't let himself look into the words. He loved his friends. He took pictures of his friends. He took a picture of Katsuki. Katsuki was his friend. He loved him. He scoffed, just barely pushing the air out of himself this time. “You see us all the time” He took a swig of his drink if only as an excuse to look away from the other.
“I see you all the time” Izuku corrected. The waitress stopped briefly while Izuku ordered his drink finally. Katsuki took a deep breath when the waitress squeezed Izuku’s shoulder. They could hardly go anywhere these days without someone trying to make a move on him. Kaminari grabbed Momo’s shoulder next to him as a joke and then pretended to swoon over her. Monoma’s loud laugh made Katsuki bite his own lip. Izuku looked only slightly uncomfortable, used to the way his friends made fun of his charisma. “Anyway” he looked back at Katsuki once everyone got back into their own conversations. “I don't see everyone as often”
The waitress was back, far quicker than she had been with anyone else. Katsuki took down the rest of his drink, asking for a refill while she was midsentence with Izuku. He was tired of people bothering the hero. She eyed him curiously, before taking the drink from him and bowing. “Thirsty?” Monoma threw his arm around him again.
Katsuki rolled his shoulder, half attempting to get him off, half finding the warmth on his back grounding. Monoma gave his shoulder a squeeze before letting go. Katsuki felt baver this time. “Yet you only took a picture of me?” He asked Izuku.
Izuku wasn't looking at him, but instead at the blonde next to him. Monoma was now far too deep in a conversation with Camie about the latest episode of whatever trash television they watched. “I don't know then, Kacchan” Izuku’s eyes drifted slowly from Monoma to him in a way that made Katsuki feel small.
He hated feeling small.
Izuku stood up, rubbing Uraraka’s shoulder as he passed, telling a few of them he was going to run to the restroom. Katsuki decided to half-heartedly join a conversation with Sero and Hagakure about the heist they had all been apart of this morning. The heist Izuku couldn't be at because he was teaching.
The nerd was already back but was stuck in a conversation with two random men at the bar. He looked just passed Sero to watch, only curious. Or maybe just bored with these two.
Izuku let out some sort of bellowing laugh, the curls bouncing from his face as he held his hand against his chest. One of the men pulled him back up, pretending like Izuku was going to fall over from laughing. It only made Izuku laugh harder. Katsuki tried to pull a memory of making Izuku laugh that hard. He couldn't.
He gave the other one a pat on the back before pointing at their table and waving them off goodbye. It should be illegal the way Izuku could be friends with anyone. Strangers became familiar with him with only a few words. Katsuki felt like his entire life he was trying to figure out one friendship. The one he was thinking about now. The one he didn't understand how it had become so different. All this while Izuku collected people almost as often as All Might figurines.
When he sat back down, Uraraka stole the words from his mouth first. “Who were those cuties?” She held her mouth open as she poked Izuku’s arm. His face became red, as if there really were a past there somewhere. Katsuki leaned forward in his seat, suddenly unable to get comfortable.
Izuku awkwardly scratched the back of his head, now that several people at the table made ‘Ooooo’ and ‘Ohhhh’ noises at him. Izuku laughed a little. “That’s just Tanaka-san and Ito-san,” He waved off. “They are teachers at Shiketsu.” Everyone looked at him, knowing there was more to the story, and he was painfully obvious about it. Katsuki was watching the two men at their table now. “Ito-san, uh,” He paused. “He substitutes for me sometimes,” He smiled awkwardly. “When I have mission assignments,” He took a drink.
Katsuki relaxed a little bit. He took another, gracious swig of his whiskey. Jirou gave a sarcastic laugh at his answer. “That doesn’t explain why the blonde one was eye fucking you”
The alcohol that had almost passed Katsuki’s tongue shot back up to his lips. He coughed a little as he swallowed it back down. Shinsou looked at Katsuki with a pout. “Was it the cussing?” He asked sarcastically.
Katsuki gave him a single finger back in response. Someone must of asked Izuku a further question because, for some reason, he was still talking about the pervert over there. “We went out a couple times,” He looked repulsed by the thought. “He was uh, well-”
“No!” Uraraka hit Izuku’s shoulder as if she knew what he was about to say.
Katsuki, for one, felt totally lost. “What?” Katsuki heard someone ask. Everyone turned to him. Oh, shit. He had asked.
Kaminari unsuccessfully muffled a laugh, causing everyone around him to start laughing too. Katsuki felt humiliated and stupid. Why did they know something he didn't? He wasn't stupid, he graduated top of the class. Why were they laughing? “Just tell everyone you don't get laid next time,” Monoma joked in his ear.
He felt himself lose it. Sure, he didn't get laid. But it wasn't like he was trying too. No one deserved to have the body he had worked for years. Back when Izuku was in college getting his teaching degree, Katsuki had attended a party with him. He still doesn't remember how he was convinced. Drunk in a basement was where he had experienced his first kiss. He had let the stranger man have him that night. He woke up feeling disgusted and desperate.
He would wait for the right person to do that ever again.
“What the hell is that supposed-”
Uraraka, who was always good at getting people to back off of Katsuki, spoke over him before he said something he regretted. “They are called ‘Hero chasers.’” She leaned over the table so he could hear over the laughter pointed at him.
“What the hell is that?” He said a little calmer as everyone chilled out.
“It's someone that only wants to pursue you or your body because you are a hero with a high rank,” Todoroki, of all people , chimed in.
“And how would you know that?” He shot back, pointing at Sero, his boyfriend, next to him.
“It's only been a year,” Todoroki shrugged, as Sero threw an arm around his boyfriend. “We are twenty-five years old, Bakugou.”
Katsuki scoffed before turning back to Izuku. He got back to the conversation just in time to hear “So how did you find out?” From Uraraka.
“Oh!” Momo shot up, holding her hands out so Izuku wouldn't speak. “Let me guess!” She begged. “Did he bring the cuffs into bed? Pretend to be a villain?” She laughed.
Izuku chuckled as more people guessed. “Mm, or did you find like a secret shrine of yourself in his room?” Asui giggled. Were these things that had happened?
“I had a girl tell me she could ‘Take care’ of Mina for me after the engagement,” Kirishima laughed.
Mina gasped. “I remember that! I'd like to see her try.” She huffed. Kirishima shut her up with a quick kiss to the lips.
Izuku held his hands up. “No, no,” He laughed. “Nothing like that.” His face was red either from the laughter or the topic. Katsuki didn't want to hear anymore.
“Why then?” Todoroki asked. Don't say. Please don't say.
“He- well, um” He chewed on his fingers while everyone waited for him with bated breath.
Uraraka groaned, “Come on, Izuku,” She begged. “Spit it out!”
He sighed, visibly giving in to the peer pressure. “Fine,” He looked away, down at the table. “He kept calling me Deku in bed,” He said quietly.
Huh?
A few people laughed while others whined. “That could be way worse!” Momo added.
“Yeah! Bakubro still calls you Deku all the time!” Camie pointed out. Katsuki was sure his face was red after that comment.
Jirou leaned forward to look at the men again. “Yeah, he's hot,” She nodded. “Maybe you could give him another chance.” Katsuki set his glass down a little heavily, a few chopsticks lifting from the table.
“Woah, now,” Monoma said, where only he could hear.
He would’ve yelled at him if Izuku hadn't started talking again. He didn't want to hear any more about the nerd's sex life, but something was drawing him right to the scene of the crime. “Well, that's not all. ” Izuku became fidgety as people pressured him to either spill the whole truth or go pounce on the man right this instant. Katsuki didn't know which one sounded worse. “He also wanted me to call him something.” He wasn't laughing anymore.
Katsuki suddenly became very interested in the itinerary he knew like the back of his hand. “Awe,” Mina giggled. “Did he wanna be a bad bad boy?” She laughed.
Izuku laughed dryly. “No, it was-”
“No way!” Uraraka cut in again. This time, the rest of the table was confused with him, which only helped soothe his discomfort a small fraction of the way. Izuku nodded sadly at her. “You're kidding!” She gaped.
The rest of the group started, begging for answers now. Katsuki was just deciding if going over and exploding the man's head off was worth the drop in rank and murder charges. “What! Tell us too!” Hagakure groaned.
“I don't know, it's kinda awkward-” Izuku started
“Just fucking say it,” Katsuki growled, letting the thoughts in his mind flow past his tongue.
Everyone quieted down as they waited for Izuku to speak. Izuku kept his eyes glued to Katsuki as he decided whether to say it or not. Katsuki, completely overwhelmed with the conversation, and the noise, and those fucking eyes, stood up to go to the bathroom.
His legs were only halfway straight when Izuku spit the words out quickly and sloppily. “He wanted me to call him Dynamight.” He could feel everyone else's eyes join Izuku’s in watching him.
Katsuki slowly sat back down. “ What?” He voice cracked a bit. Surely to god he had heard Izuku wrong.
“ Holy shit” He heard someone else say.
Everyone was laughing except for Izuku, Katsuki, and Mina and Kirishima who were eyeing him worriedly. “Sleeping with a DekuDyna shipper” Asui clicked her teeth. “Thats a whole new level, kero”
“A what?” Katsuki’s voice went even higher, completely mortified by whatever was happening. The attention was supposed to be on Mina and Kirishima’s beautiful relationship, not and whatever the hell he and Izuku had gone through for 25 years.
“Oh yeah” Kaminari laughed. “Tons of civies want you all to get together” He laughed. “I guess that guy just decided to take matters into his own hands” Jirou was dying of laughter next to him.
Katsuki had enough, he stood up faster this time, determined to kick that perverts ass for doing that to Izuku. For doing that to him. He went to move, eyes already locked on the table across the room. A scarred hand grabbed his wrist stopping him from moving forward anymore. His hands were cool against Katsuki’s flushed arm.
He tried ot pull away, instinctively repulsed from years of training his mind to run away from Izuku’s touch. “Leave it alone, Kacchan” Izuku asked.
The table still hadn't died down from the laughter. Katsuki hated this. He pulled away again, successful this time. “You think he doesn't deserve to get his ass kicked for that?” He threw his hands out, a few at the table quieting down now.
Izuku looked at him like he was an idiot. Katsuki felt like one as he remained the only one standing. “You think I didn't already do that?” He said a little loudly.
The rest of the table quieted at that. And that was- well, it wasn't what Katsuki had expected. Had he really beat the guy? Katsuki sat down once again, feeling more foolish than ever. Why had his reaction been so out of control? He had been working for years at maintaining his temper. He had gotten so good at keeping his calm, but from the moment this conversation started he could feel himself losing control. “Good” He said more genuine than he meant for it to come off.
It was quiet and awkward for a few minutes, the tension from both mens reaction not making it easy to laugh over anymore. “So, Midoriya” Camie asked from the other end of the table. Izuku looked up at her not covering his annoyed face. Katsuki had done that. That man over there, that pervert, had made him laugh with ease. Katsuki had turned it around into a sad scowl. He hated himself for it. “Did you really kick his ass?” She asked with intrigument in her voice.
Izuku waved his hand, taking a drink of the vodka he had ordered. “I slapped him, it’s not like I have One for All anymore, he’s fine” The room became more quiet again at the mention of Izuku’s lost quirk.
Katsuki felt that aching pain in his chest as if he were the one that lost something. “You got some arms on you” Katsuki spoke up. Izuku’s head whipped up towards him. “I bet he was feeling that for days” He gave a small smirk.
Smile, please. Please be Izuku again.
And there it was.
Izuku grinned brightly. “I guess you may be right Kacchan” He laughed. The rest of the table began to laugh again too. “Now that you mention it they don't send him as a sub anymore” his eyebrow quirked inward. The table began howling in laughter.
Katsuki relaxed. Kirishima ran a quick hand through Katsuki's hair, ruffling the spikes. “Okay, back to the real couple” He laughed.
For some reason that didn't make Katsuki feel any better.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
It only took about another thirty minutes before most of the heros at the table were bordering drunk or tipsy. Katsuki had stopped after his second, he hated the way he felt vulnerable and out of control of his body when he drank.
Izuku had a gentle flush on his face now, a goofy smile to pair with it. He looked soft and kind and all the things Katsuki wished he could do with his own face. He tried to flatten his mouth, release the tension in his shoulders, bring his tongue down from where it was pushing against the roof of his mouth. These were all things he was slowly learning.
At some point the waitress had returned, letting them know they only have an hour until closing. When Izuku had asked if she would allow a few more minutes for the heroes to catch up, she simply blushed and nodded.
He hated her reaction but he made a note to leave a few extra yen at the table when they left. Kirishima had started babbling on about how much he loved Mina, and how much he loved Katsuki for planning everything, and how much he loved everyone for coming on the trip, and how much he loved the rooms they were staying in.
Of course this piqued everyone's interest as they hazily dove back into the itinerary they hadn't actually delved into yet. “Oh look Kyoka, we have the same room number!” Momo drunkenly threw an arm around the smaller girl. She looked up to Katsuki with wide and glossy eyes. “Does this mean were rooming together?!” They both had huge grins on.
Katsuki rolled his eyes but silently pat himself on the back for guessing they were the closest in the group. “Obviously, idiot” He responded with no malice in his voice.
The two girls instantly started squealing as the rest of the group then began shouting their room numbers, trying to hear over one another on who their room partner was.
Sero and Todoroki silently fist bumped at their room pairing while Kaminari gave Shinsou a sloppy kiss on the cheek.
“Bakugou!” Uraraka shouted over everyone. “Did you give me my own room?” She gushed.
Katsuki gave her a small nod back, excited for the night to be coming to a close. “You and me both” He confirmed.
“I would complain” Monoma said cockily. “But Izuku should make a fine partner” He purred in a voice that sent chills down Katsuki’s spine.
When he looked over to the nerd he was just blushing. Blushing, like those words actually had any effect on him. “Like the nerd would ever-”
“Wait Bakugou!” Camie sits up interrupting him. “If you have your own room then…” She draws out the sentence looking to everyone else to finish her idea fo her.
“Oh dude!” Kaminari is the first to catch on. “We are so getting you laid!” The table instantly starts beaming in excitement.
Katsuki feels like curling up into a ball and dying. He hates nothing more than the though of these fifteen idiots running around Oikinawa trying to find some lame extra to stay in Katsuki’s bed. Monoma and Kirishima from either side of him start pulling and tugging on his arms like they are having some brotherly milestone moment. He feels like a child taking their first steps. He feels his hand begin to pop with tiny explosions. Kirishima instanly clamps his own hardened hands over his exploding one. He pulls away, annoyed that his best friend played into something so embarassing. “You seriously-”
He was interrupted for the hundredth time this evening. “I don't think Kacchan would like that guys” Izuku spoke up, noticeably not laughing along. At least someone here understood how bad of an idea it was.
“Oh, Izuku” Mina threw a hand in his direction. “Don’t pretend like you aren't going to be fighting off anyone that tries to come near him anyway” Her words were slurred and her brain to mouth filter was fumbling.
Izuku looked at her with wide eyes. Was that why Katsuki never had people approach him.? Was Izuku doing some little competition in his head? Silently beating Katsuki in a game he didn't even know they were playing. “That true?” He spat out towards the other.
Izuku refelxively held his hands out. “Its not like that Kacchan” He stated defending. “I wouldn’t-”
“You always wanna beat me huh?” He asked completely annoyed now.
“No?” Izuku seemed confused. Probably playing dumb in front of all of their laughing friends. “No, Kacchan-”
“Yeah I guess we will see then” Katsuki spoke over him.
Some of the guys starting cheering as the girls giggled completely out of control. Izuku just watched him, this face that he could never read, forming in his eyes. The waitress came back, making her usual route to stand right next to Izuku. She came with another drink that matched the first three Izuku had put down. Unlike every other time, he didn't give her the attention she begged for. He didn't look up at her with those shiny green eyes and wide smile. He didn't touch her arm or compliment her hair. She asked if they were ready for the check. “I think so” He said still looking at Katsuki.
It was that same shift. The same air that would change randomly around them. Katsuki couldn't decipher what it ever was. It was like electricity and darkness and something inbetween floated between their eyes as they met.
“Ugh” Kirishima cried. “I love you all so much” He blubbered on.
They all stood up a few at a time, hugging and saying goodbyes. Everyone tucked their plans into their bags or back pockets and they will likely be forgotten until next week comes and the trip arrives.
They began to spilt off in their normal pairings. Unfortunately for Katsuki, since he and Todoroki wer neighbors they often ended up walking together. He would complain everyones ear off, but he also never actually tried to leave without him. Sometimes if Katsuki let himself consider it for too long, he would call Todoroki a friend, even if it gave him a repulsive feeling in his throat. Izuku, Uraraka, Kaminari, and Jirou all lived in the same area, opposite of where he and Todoroki were heading.
Izuku and Todoroki held both groups up, talking about something that Katsuki was trying his best to drown out. His attention was brought back to life when they shared a quick hug. Todoroki began moving around the circle hugging each one of them after that. Oh, no . Katsuki silently panicked.
“Relax” Uraraka punched his arm. “No ones going to try and hug you” She joked.
He did relax, just almost missing the way Izuku’s hands went back down the his sides in front of him. Was Izuku going to hug him? He suddenly felt a guilty churn in his stomach. He died for him and now he won’t even let the other touch him.
Izuku messed with the bottom of his suit jacket he had put back on. Katsuki reached up to squeeze his bicep. Maybe that would be good enough, for now. Izuku did relax a little, letting go of his death grip and instead bringing his hands in front of his face.
The same tongue poked out, Katsuki awkwardly watched the sentence fold out on the scarred hands.
Goodbye, Kacchan.
He still used the special symbol he made up. It made Katsuki lose his breath a little.
I like seeing you.
Katsuki knew it was supposed to be, ‘nice to see you’, or ‘it was a pleasure’. A formal and common ending in sign language. Izuku had butchered it just enough to leave Katsuki at a loss for words.
He shoved a hand through Izuku’s curls instead, ruffling them a little before losing the touch. Izuku watched his hands when they left, knowing he would sign something back, much faster and much more accurate. He loved learning from Katsuki.
See you Thursday?
He purposely made his hands hard to read, hoping to throw the nerd off.
Izuku thought for a moment. Katsuki smirked triumphantly, thinking he fooled him.
Oh! Partner training?
Dammit. The nerd had just forgotten that he was coming to teach and had not been fooled by the signing.
Katsuki rolled his eyes back at him. Todoroki had finished up his goodbyes and was now waiting on Izuku and Katsuki to finish.
Goodbye, Izuku
He had his own symbol for the boy. It was easier than signing his name and Izuku had been insistent that it was only fair. He held up the symbol for ‘I’ next to his brain. He would always find a way to call man a nerd.
I like seeing you too
He signed it in the same sloppy manner that Izuku did. He wasn't sure if the boy knew it meant what it did, but he did. It was easier to slip up than he wanted it to be.
Izuku nodded encouragingly before Katsuki suddenly felt a weight crush against his side. Todoroki had laid his entire weight on Katsukis’ shoulder, wrapping an arm around his neck. Instinctively, Katsuki went to catch him, confused and disgusted by whatever was happening.
“Shouto!” Izuku moved to grab him. “Are you okay?” He asked in a panic.
Todokori leaned his head down on Katsuki’s shoulder. He felt repulsed by the closeness, spitting out bit of red hair as they fell into his mouth. “Get off me!” He tried to shove him but Todoroki was a lot stronger than he looked. “Are you this drunk?” He felt angry but his words came off with a twinge of concern.
“I'll be okay” He smiled at both boys, still not removing himself. At least it was his fire producing side. “Katsuki will walk me home” He leaned further into him.
Katsuki and Izuku both physically retracted at the use of his given name. Todoroki hasn't called really anyone in the class by their given name let alone Katsuki of all people. The only people that really used his first name were Mina and Kirishima and that was rare. Of course Izuku called him Kacchan and Kaminari would too if he felt like being a bastard, it was jarring to hear it out loud.
“O-Okay” Izuku said a little warily. Katsuki had been so lost in thought recalling every moment someone had called him that, that he hadn't realized they had begun walking in opposite directions. “Be safe you guys” He smiled before finally turning around.
Katsuki practically dragged Todoroki as they made their way down the corner. They lived relatively close, but far enough to make dragging the 80 kilogam man annoying. “ God fucking dammit” he huffed.
Once the first block was completed, suddenly Todoroki sprouted up at his side again, as if nothing had happened, running a hand through his hair and laughing. “Thanks, friend” He smiled at Katsuki with a grin that made him want to punch the hero right square in the face.
Instead he shoved him, a little too hard, into the wall next to them. “What the hell was that?” He barked. “You just didn't feel like walking on your own?” He snapped. “Number 2 hero and still too lazy to walk yourself home” Katsuki mumbled as he began to walk forward again, leaving Todoroki laughing at the wall. Katsuki was annoyed the shove didn't hurt him more.
He eventually caught up to Katsuki's pace, a small chuckle still at his lips. “I just do it to mess with him” he laughed. Katsuki looked at him confused. Was he talking about Katsuki or hismelf or…” You should've seen his face” He chuckled to himself. “Well I mean I guess you did see it but you two are surprisingly horrible at reading each other emotionally-”
“ Who and what are you talking about?” Katsuki grabbed his arm pausing them.
Todoroki looked at him for a second, silence filling the air around them. As if on queue his phone began to ring. “Ah, I must check this” He said in an extremely monotone voice as he began walking again. Katsuki hated walking behind people, so he was forced to keep up his pace as well. He also hated that he knew exactly what the notification was that Todoroki just received. “Awe, look” He pointed the phone for Katsuki to see. “They are playing together” He smiled.
Katsuki rolled his eyes, shoving the phone away. Katsuki and Todoroki had both gotten cats right after moving in to this apartment complex. Since there were often times like tonight, where they were gone for long periods of time, Katsuki would often drop Tofu off with Soba so they could keep each other entertained. It wasn't cute it was practical.
Katsuki would also often receive texts throughout the day from Todoroki of videos screen recorded from his security camera app of them playing together. He definitely hadn't been caught smiling at them and he definitely didn't save them to his camera roll either.
It really did make him feel better that Tofu had some company, he just hated the fact that it was half-and-halfs way less trained and way less cool cat Soba.
After another few minutes of Katsuki walking in silence while Todoroki occasionally shows him footage of the two rascals while they were away, they finally made it back to their building. They took the elevator up to the fourth floor and headed straight to the other mans apartment. He opened the door, the pattering of small paws running towards them. Katsuki had a harder time concealing his smile as Tofu hurriedly jumped up his pants and into his arms. “Hi, sugar” He whispered quietly as Todoroki filled Sobas food bowl.
“It seems as though they have once again had a good day” Todoroki commented to no one in particular.
“Can I leave now?” Katsuki asked, tired of making small talk with the other awkward boy.
“No one is stopping you” Todoroki getsured to the door. Katsuki hated that he was correct. He hated that for some reason it was harder to leave the presence of others at his grown age than it was at 15.
Katsuki scoffed, picking Tofu back up with a dejected meow coming from Soba. “You know, its proper manners to offer your guests tea” He turned to grab his apartment keys where he had left them earlier in the day by the others genkan.
“Cats can't have tea” Todoroki replied, a small hint of sarcasm in his voice. Since dating Sero, he had slowly learned how to develop a sense of humor. Katsuki hated it.
Instead of replying Katsuki resumed grabbing his belongings. Infront of the genkan a small table for keys or bags lay for guests to put their stuff down as they came in. On top it it lie a small desk lamp. A small desk lamp that didn't work . A desk lamp Katsuki knew didn't work, because it was his lamp. “Is this my lamp?” He sounded more confused than his initial anger.
Todoroki scooped Soba up and headed to observe what he was talking about. When his eyes made contact with what Katsuki was pointing at rather aggressively his face softened in recognition, as if he just now understood what Katsuki was upset about. “Oh!” His face lit up even as his voice remained eerily calm. “The gift you gave me” he smiled.
Katsuki stared at him baffled, mouth gaping and shoulder slumped. He had to imagine the sight of two top ten heroes holding their precious kittens and arguing over a broken lamp would be quite the sight for an average civilian. “ Gift?” He spat out. “What in the- I didn’t-” He groaned in frustration. No one was able to push his buttons quite like the man in front of him. “I tried to throw it away ” he threw his hands out. “And you insisted that it would be a waste” He argued.
Todoroki shrugged. “It was still quite nice of you to allow me to keep it” He gave an encouraging rub under Soba’s chin.
Katsuki felt his screws loosening. “ No?” He was out of fighting words. He gently moved Tofu under his arm, putting the keys to his apartment between his lips. He bent down to the plug-in where the broken lamp was connected to the wall. Tofu let out a small meow of curiosity as they lowered. “I’m taking this back” He said, not asking.
Todoroki had the audacity to actually pout . He jutted out his bottom lip, lamp shuffling as Katsuki tucked it beneath his other arm. “And here I thought you were just being nice” He frowned. Tofu pawed eagerly of the wound up cord.
Katsuki looked down at the lamp. He really didn't want it and the dumpster was all the way four flights down from here. He could take it to his office but then what if someone tried to use it? Would they think he was some kind of fraud being a top ten hero and not being able to have a single light in the office that actually performs its duty of provid- “Ugh” He shut his own train of thought. He shoved the lamp back into Todorokis’ hand, making sure to dodge Soba in his arm. “Keep it then” He groaned. “But next time I see that thing it better at least have been fixed” he demanded.
Todoroki nodded, his pout from earlier gone. Katsuki turned, really leaving this time. “The lamp is ours at last” He heard the other speaking in an annoyingly disgusting baby voice to his cat.
“ Freak ” Katsuki whispered under his breath as he pulled the door open.
Just as he made it into the hallway, the other grabbed his arm, stopping him one last time. “Katsuki” He said seriously. The tone sent the blonde on edge. He paused waiting for the man to continue. “On the trip” He chose his words carefully. Feelings were almost as hard for Todoroki as they were for Katsuki. “You don't have to do anything you don't want to do” He let go of the arm.
Katsuki looked at him, a bit stunned for only a moment. He straighented, rolling his arm where the touch had left a patch of heat. “I don't do anything I don't want to do” He snarled, even as his voice cracked a bit.
With a small nod Todoroki shut the door and Katsuki was finally free to head home. He had barely made it three steps down the hallway when a text message came through.
Icy hot
I hope we are still good for cooking lessons tomorrow. I think you have quite improved the quality of my skills.
Sent 1:03 a.m.
I enjoy our time together as friends.
Sent 1:03 a.m.
Katsuki shoved the phone in his pocket, thoroughly annoyed with all things half-and-half right now. He pulled the keys from his teeth and pried his own door open, dropping Tofu gently to the ground. He kicked off his shoes, desperate for bed. His body hurt, it hadn't stopped since the war. Days were easier and days were harder, somehow nights were always the hardest.
His phone buzzed again, he pulled it out deciding it was easier to just answer the bastard than let his phone continue to buzz all night.
The name on the screen made him pause though.
Nerd
His finger hovered over the name for a few moments. Todoroki's name brought frustration, annoyance. This name brought something else alone with it. He clicked on it.
Nerd
Hi Kachann!! I am so sorry for tonight ( • ᴖ • ｡)
Sent 1:05 a.m.
I swear I never meant to bring that up!
Sent 1:05 a.m.
I never talked to him again after that because it was so weird! (¬⤙¬ )
Sent 1:05 a.m.
Not that you're weird! Just that him wanting to be you was weird!
Sent 1:05 a.m.
No one could be you! ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
Sent 1:06 a.m.
Katsuki stared at the train wreck that was Izuku’s texting for several seconds as the texts flowed in one by one. How the nerd managed to ramble over a phone he had no idea.
Me
Its fine
Sent 1:08 a.m.
Glad you kicked the perverts ass
Sent 1:08 a.m.
He moved to the couch, shucking his shirt off and laying Tofu right in his lap. There were often nights when he found himself here. Sometimes the bed was too isolating. After the war, he had thought the same way. He would often wake up in the common room, having fallen asleep on the couch. He wouldn't be the only one. When he first moved out he and Kirishima had shared their first apartment. His friend never questioned when he would wake up in the living room.
When he had died it had felt all too white, all too soft, all too pillowy. Maybe that was some of the reason the couch brought him comfort too.
Nerd
I do kinda feel bad about that part… ( ._. )""
Sent 1:09 a.m.
But its better than letting him talk bad about the number five hero! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
Sent 1:10 a.m.
Katsuki took too long to answer again, staring at the words intently. Izuku hadn't been upset at the fact that he was a hero chaser, he had been upset by the fact that the man thought little of Katsuki. That familiar tug pulled at his chest. He hurriedly clicked on the buttons of his heart monitor again. It had been bothering him all night.
Me
Number one before you know it
Sent 1:12 a.m.
In a moment of sleep deprivation and spontaneity Katsuki snapped a quick picture.
Image.3783
*Picture of Tofu resting on Katsuki’s stomach*
Sent 1:13 a.m.
For some reason he held his breath as the bubbles popped up and down as Izuku typed out a response. Katsuki closed his eyes briefly, breathing in and out, before the light from the response lit behind his eyes.
Nerd
Tofu!!! .o(≧∀≦)o
Sent 1:14 a.m.
Katsuki’s breath hitched as an image in response loaded.
Image.93743
*Picture of Izuku’s abs laying down without a cat resting there*
Sent 1:15 a.m.
I wish I had a cat ( • ᴖ • ｡)
Sent 1:15 a.m.
Katsuki swiped out of the picture almost immediately, hating whatever left over feelings he had from the drinks, and his heart, and whatever annoyance Todoroki had done to mess with his head.
Me
*Liked message*
He hurriedly swiped out of the message with the other, hoping the abandonment of the conversation wasn't too weird. He swiped back into the message he had left unanswered with Todoroki and quickly liked that message as well.
He put his phone down, breathing heavier than he should be. He closed his eyes, letting Tofu move up closer to his neck.
Then he spent the next few minutes like he did ever night.
Begging for sleep to come fast.
Hoping the night would take the feelings away with it.
✧ Izuku ✧
Katsuki
Katsuki, Katsuki, Katsuki
Shouto had said that right? It had been casual, slipped into the conversation. He had been drunk, was this the first time? He hadn’t even thought Shouto had drank that much. Kacchan had seemed thrown off by the given title as well. Katsuki. He doesn't even think he had ever used that name before. His mother and Kacchan’s parents were the only other people he could remember saying it. Maybe a few others in the class on occasion.
Katsuki.
“You’re walking so slow man!” Kaminari turned his head to yell at Izuku, he had an arm around Jirou, keeping her warm from the cool air.
Izuku picked up the pace, matching strides with Ochako. She nudged her shoulder against his own. “You okay?” The concern was written on her face, she doesn't smile much anymore. He misses her smile. If he could have somehow prevented Toga’s death then maybe his friend would be able to continue to smile- “You’re mumbling again” She cut him off, facing forward now with a straight face.
“Sorry” He gave her a small smile. “I’m okay, really” He reassured her. Kaminari and Jirou slowed down to walk with them now, too. “I just feel bad for Kacchan” he sighed. “I shouldn't have embarrassed him like that in front of everyone” He shoved his hands into his pockets, looking up to where the stars could barely be seen through the light of the city.
Kaminari let out a chuckle. “Dude you shouldn't feel bad it was hilarious!” He shoved Izuku’s shoulder, Izuku not budging an inch. “He was just his usual grumpy self” He smiled.
Jirou let out a small drunken laugh. “No seriously though” She giggled. “He looked like he was going to curl up and die right there!”
The air between them thickened the moment she said it.
Die right there.
Kacchan would die right there .
Words these days are sensitive. The war had been harder on some more than others. People lost people, people got hurt, others just tried to focus on surviving.
For Izuku, it was moments like this where he didn't feel quirkless. He felt present, he felt sixteen. Words could trigger him, put him back in the coffin. Die. Kacchan died. He had seen it. His best friend, someone he had just finally begun to figure out, laying there, paler than ever, heart beat silent. His own heart gave a hurting throb in his chest.
Black whip was gone. He knew that. But in moments like this, moments where he remembered or he forgot, or maybe he just lived, it felt so present again. The first time it was released he thought that maybe his heart was breaking. Monoma had said some extremely hurtful things that took years of them talking it over to forgive. Blackwhip had come straight from his heart and exploded in the form of a quirk. It was reckless and selfish and out of control. Just like him.
It had been the hardest one to say goodbye to a few years back.
It was also the only one that felt like remnants, pieces, memories, of it were still here. His heart would race and break and ache. Like when someone used the word die when referring to Kacchan.
Instinctively he reached out to grab his chest. Control your heart. He repeated it in his head. Black whip was gone though, so why did it feel like it was still going to explode out?
He wasn't the only one affected. Kaminari had witnessed the death first hand and Ochako had experienced grief of her own, she just wasn't as lucky as Izuku was.
Ochako reached out to grab his shoulder. “Shit” Jirou apologized instantly. “I did not mean for it to come out like that” She regretted. “I had a few too many drinks” She gave a teary smile, feeling fully remorseful for the misinterpretation.
“It's okay,” Ochako answered for them. Izuku finally caught his breath again, giving them all a smile.
They kept walking in silence. Eventually everyone had to split, leaving Izuku to finish the last block or so on his own. He should probably text Kacchan about it. He didn't want things to be awkward when he came to teach on Thursday. He pushed open the doors to his apartment, quickly making his way to the shower, it had been an entirely too long day.
The scars no longer bothered him as the soap ran down his arms. He had almost had them longer than he hadn't had them at this point. He ran his fingers under the steaming water. He guessed he should change his words to he wished they didn't bother him anymore. Other parts of his body were too reminders of every life altering moment he had indulged in his life. Unfortunately after a prolonged time of breaking and rebreaking his fingers, the effects eventually caught up to him.
Before dinner he had been grading papers upon papers, scribbling sentences in the margins and leaving paragraphs at the bottom of pages. He didn't have to do this, he could simply mark the grad and move on. But Izuku loved teaching. He loved hearing ideas from students, studies of their quirks and how they used him. He couldn't help himself from vomiting his thoughts onto the page. It often resulted in nights like tonight, fingers aching and stiff.
He got out of the shower, throwing on some sleep shorts and making his way to bed. He picked up his phone swiping to the message he had opened with Kacchan. He pulled a small bottle of lotion from his bed side table to rub on his aching hands. It often only ended in frustration. Rubbing one would result in the other being overworked, it was a cycle he couldn't beat on his own.
It was little things like this that made him feel the burden of the life he was granted. Back to being quirkless, and in pain, and useless, and-
His phone buzzed.
He jumped out of his thoughts leaning over the device so the face recognition technology would unlock the message.
YaoMomo
Hello Midoriya, I am sure you saw on the itinerary that for the wedding party photoshoot on the first night we are both expected to wear green. I have the perfect dress and have sent you a picture to plan accordingly!
Sent 1:01 a.m.
Image.90183
Sent 1:01 a.m.
Izuku physically groaned at the image. It was a beautiful dress, of course it was, but it looked incredibly expensive . Izuku was going to look like a wreck next to the luxaries woman. He eyed his closet quickly making note of the lack of photoshoot appropriate clothes. He sighed before picking his phone up again.
Me
Wow how amazing YaoMomo! w(°o°)w
Sent 1:02 a.m.
We are gonna look great! I'll send you a picture when I pick out my outfit!
Sent 1:03 a.m.
He swiped out of the message expecting that he would have to figure that out sooner than later. Maybe Kacchan would help him with fashion advice. He was always good at making the two of them look presentable for hero awards or important dinners.
Right, Kacchan.
He still needed to apologize.
Me
Hi Kachann!! I am so sorry for tonight ( • ᴖ • ｡)
Sent 1:05 a.m.
I swear I never meant to bring that up!
Sent 1:05 a.m.
I never talked to him again after that because it was so weird! (¬⤙¬ )
Sent 1:05 a.m.
Not that you're weird! Just that him wanting to be you was weird!
Sent 1:05 a.m.
No one could be you! ◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜
Sent 1:06 a.m.
God, he really was a fucking wreck. How he managed to say these many words when he only really meant to say one is beyond him. His ability to make anything long winded was something he was still dissecting about himself.
Kacchan! ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)💢
Its fine
Sent 1:08 a.m.
Glad you kicked the perverts ass
Sent 1:08 a.m.
He took a deep breath. Relief. It didn't sound like Kacchan was mad at him any more. He shouldn't have told everyone at the table that he had hit the dude. It wasn't something he was proud of at all. Every once in a while Izuku would just snap . Loose complete control of who he was. He had remembered that night, asking the man a second time what he was saying, clothes already stripped off and lips already being met. When he repeated Call me Dynamight, I know that’s who you want me to be, it had stunned Izuku. How could someone, anyone, think of Kacchan as some object, some toy. Some part to be played by a civilian nobody who hadn't earned-
The light on his phone went dark from not responding.
Me
I do kinda feel bad about that part… ( ._. )""
Sent 1:09 a.m.
But it's better than letting him talk bad about the number five hero! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
Sent 1:10 a.m.
That was certainly a nicer way of putting what he really felt. The truth was he hated how the man had grabbed him casually on the arm in the bar. He hated looking at his blonde hair knowing what it reminded him of. He hated how he had to stop himself that night, some weird temptation in him wanting to listen to the other.
Izuku rubbed the remainder of the lotion haphazardly on his stomach as he laid further on the bed, pushing any taunting thoughts back out. He picked up his phone again at the sound of the buzz. He always felt eager when texting with the other, it felt weirdly intimate coming from a man of such few words.
Kacchan! ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)💢
Number one before you know it
Sent 1:12 a.m.
Izuku froze. An image was slowly loading. An image? Had Kacchan ever sent a picture to him? Izuku thought about the picture he had taken of Kacchan at dinner. Of all his friends Kacchan was definitely the most photogenic. He had always been good looking growing up. The girls always admired him from a far, scared of his personality. Guys oogled over him all the same, Izuku couldn't blame them.
Image.3783
*Picture of Tofu resting on Katsuki's stomach*
Sent 1:13 a.m.
The picture lit up the screen after a few second of painful waiting. Katsuki's body filled the screen, toned and warm looking. His stomach was chisaled from years of hard work, Izuku was jealous as he felt he had gotten a bit softer in his teaching years. The man was laying on his couch, surprisingly not tucked in bed for someone who usually went to bed early.
After studying the picture for a fews seconds too long, he finally spotted the reason. Tofu! He missed the cat. He wanted one of his own but both his mother and Kacchan had told him he would probably forget to feed the poor thing and kill it.
He imagined the weight of the cat comforting him must feel nice. Izuku’s bed often felt lonely. It brought him back to the nights as a vigilante, lonely and scared. He had been forced to isolation, that or risking his friends. He wasn't sure if he would ever really see people again, he couldn't sleep those nights. And on nights where the bed felt too big, he couldn't sleep on those either.
Me
Tofu!!! .o(≧∀≦)o
Sent 1:14 a.m.
Image.93743
*Picture of Izuku’s abs laying down without a cat resting there*
Sent 1:15 a.m.
I wish I had a cat ( • ᴖ • ｡)
Sent 1:15 a.m.
Another simpler way of putting his true emotions in a wrapped up bow. He hated bothering others with what he truly felt. Everyone suffered from what they went through, no one deserved to bear the weight of his pain with it.
Kacchan! ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)💢
*Liked message*
Izuku sighed, knowing that was his friend way of calling their conversation over. He swiped one more time back into the image of Kaacchan. The same tug in his chest.
He swiped out of it quickly.
Then he spent the rest of the dark hours like he did most nights.
Begging that morning came fast.
Hoping that with it washed away the empty feeling.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
After Tuesday's late night and Wednesday's hangover, waking up on Thursday was no easy task for Izuku. He groaned as he pulled himself up from bed. No matter how many years he had been forced to get up for school, or missions, or training, he still couldn't call himself a morning person. He did his usual routine of brushing his teeth and then pulling at loose strands of curls, attempting to rewet them, attempting to lay them down, and then forgetting about trying to fix them in the first place.
Since today was a training day, he decided to wear his red sneakers with his suit instead of the shiny black slip-ons he usually did. He shoved some workout clothes into his yellow backpack and hurried for the door.
Kacchan has regularly came to teach at UA since graduation. The staff loved him, the kids were fans, Izuku adored watching his friend turn soft for the quiet kids and bark back at the loud ones. Kacchan would've made an amazing teacher if he hadn't been so busy with hero work. Izuku would've made a good full time partner if…
“Midoriya-sensei” One of the first years got his attention. They were back from lunch and eagerly bouncing around the room as they waited for instructions on training today. “We were wondering" She looked back anxiously at another group of girls, pretending to not pay attention to them.
Izuku was already laughing. “How can I help?” He asked with a smile.
She looked back up at him. “Since you said today was partner training” He was supposed to keep that part a secret form the students but apparently he had unsurprisingly slipped up. He nodded, going along with it. “Well and you said you were going to give us a demonstration” He watched as some of the girls peaked their heads up from miscellaneous books they were holding.
“Hayashi, your book is upside down” He commented without looking at the girl.
He heard her squeal a little as he laughed silently to himself. “B-Basically we were just wondering-”
One of the other girls who had clearly had enough of the dancing around blurted out before her, “Is Dynamight coming today?” She asked a little red in the face.
Izuku couldn't keep the laughter in at this point. “So this is what this is all about?” He chuckled to himself. “Okay class, please take your seat and I will give the full instructions on our partner training activity this afternoon.” Everyone hurried to their assigned seats, silence finally falling upon the busy class. He waited a few more seconds just to watch the anticipation bubble inside them, he missed how he had felt in these chairs. He missed thinking that he had finally made it to the top not knowing that the bottom was waiting to catch him from his fall. “Okay” he took a breath. “Today we will be focusing on defense ” There was a murmur of excitement. “I know up until this point we have been focusing on your quirks and how to use them but” He held up his finger. “Denfense is equally as important” He paced back and forth at the front of the room. “You can't save people if someone enables your ability to fight”
A few more murmurs waved through the room. Kota's hand shot up in the back. Izuku pointed at him to speak. “Will we be allowed to use our quirks?” He asked with curiosity.
Izuku raised his eyebrows. “The answer to that will be yes and no” The class grew loud again. Izuku held his hand up until the chatter died. “I’ll explain” He held both hands up when multiple hands shot up. “Think of it this way” He pointed to Eri. “Some one like Eri wouldn't want to use their quirk on certain enemies” He then pointed to Hayashi who had a fire quirk. “Or Hayashi may need to avoid hers in certain spaces” He pointed out. “Either way it's important to know when and when not to utilize your quirk in defense” He pointed at all of them.
“So who is your partner today?” Some one blurted out without raising their hand.
Izuku laughed at their eagerness. “Im sure some of you could guess-”
“Dynamight!” Someone shouted out. Others started cheering louder.
Izuku tried to contain the chaos but who could blame them for the excitement they felt. Kacchan was amazing at what he did, and a top ten hero nonetheless. Izuku was amazed with his abilities, he couldn't imagine what that felt like to a group of 15 year olds. “Okay, yes, Dynamight will be joining-”
The class erupted into to cheers over the end of his sentence. Just then, the door to the class room flew open. “What are you brats yelling at Sensei for?” Kacchan burst into the room as gracious as ever. He still had the same ability to catch everyone's attention as he did when they were 15. Izuku let them be loud, he let them be encapsulated by the presence. It was October but Japan was still coming off the striking heat that was the summer months. Kacchan had adopted a summer version of his costume a little after they graduated. It fit similarly to the black tank tops he used to constantly wear around the dorm room. The gaunlets lifted nearly to his elbows leaving only his biceps to be exposed. His headband held his hair off his forehead as he smirked at the class. Some of the kids couldn't resist as they stood up to come see him. Kacchan was in the classroom a few times a month but it didn't stop the awe that some of the kids felt. Izuku still got nervous around All Might sometimes, and he had even ate the mans hair once.
“Alright class” He finally spoke up once he saw Kacchan slowly losing his temper as some of the kids prodded at his gaunlets. “Everyone can head to the gym and change into their training uniforms and me and Ka-Dynamight will be there shortly” There were a few snickers from his slip up before everyone hurriedly exited the class room.
Kacchan clicked is teeth together. “You gotta get a grip on those brats” He scowled at the door where they had just come from. “They almost spilt the curry I brought you” He lifted up the small tin container wrapped in an All Might furoshiki.
Izuku’s eyes lit up as his stomach growled loudly. “Thats for me?!” He asked grabbing at it. “Thank you, Kacchan!” He smiled up at the other.
Kacchan whipped his red face, likely still wam from flying here. “Whatever, I didn't make it anyway” He scoffed.
Izuku looked at it confused. “Hm” Izuku looked inside. “It looks homemade?” It was clearly the work of a great chef like Kacchan was. “Is it from your mom?” he asked curiously.
Kacchan scowled again. “Half-and-half nearly burnt down our damn building trying to cook once” He started taking his gauntlets off while he spoke. “‘Ive been teaching him a thing or two so he doesn't kill me in a house fire” Izuku smiled smally. Kacchan always had little ways of showing others he cared. Izuku knew that Shouto and Kacchan were friends, even if one of them would never admit it.
“That’s sweet of you, Kacchan” He teased a little.
Kacchan shoved his arm lightly, letting a small smile form. “See if I ever bring you food again” He teased back.
Izuku took a big bite of the food in front of the other, hoping he wouldn't take it away. “Come on” He said with a full mouth. “I gotta kick your ass in front of the students in like five minutes”
Kacchan too distracted with the food spilling out of Izuku’s mouth, was not paying attention as Izuku grabbed his arm and started walking them down the halls of UA. “Okay, okay” He shoved him off. “Wait, huh?” He finally caught up. “Who is kicking who’s ass?” His face was twisted from the result of Izuku’s rare cussing.
Izuku raised his eyebrows at him. “Language, Kacchan” He reprimended in his teacher voice.
Kacchan rolled his eyes. “Oh, go to hell” He growled.
Izuku laughed loudly as they made their way to the gym. “I think you meant ‘Yes, sensei’” He laughed. He continued laughing until he looked back to see Kacchan standing behind him frozen, no longer following. “Kacchan?” He asked innocently.
Kacchan started walking again, shoving past the teacher. “I’m so gonna kill you” he huffed.
It was moments like this were they still felt the same.
✵ Katsuki ✵
Yes Sensei .
The words made him freeze, his heart rate increasing just by the small sentence off the others lips. He felt his face become red. Whatever this feeling was towards the other, it was definitely new. Izuku turned around with concern as Katsuki realized he hadn't taken another step forward since the joke. He was so going to kick his ass for doing whatever he was doing to him right now.
At some point the two off them had ended up standing in front of the twenty kids both in casual gym wear. “Okay, first I need you all to pair up” Everyone wondered off until they had ten pairs watching them. “We are going to start off with escaping a chokehold.” Katsuki could barely listen as he still thought about what caused the yes sensei incident from a few moment earlier. “Kacchan” Izuku whispered.
He looked up to see everyone was waiting on him. Right, he was supposed to be helping right now. “Sorry” He mumbled, taking his place behind Izuku. He awkwardly fumbled his arm around Izuku’s neck, not adding any real pressure.
Izuku grabbed his forearm with both of his hands. “So as I said” He spoke casually like they weren't insanely close to each other right now. Was this not bothering him? When Katsuki didn't come, did other people take his place? “There are different ways to escape depending on whether you can use your quirk to your advantage or not” Katsuki tried to look anywhere, focus on anything besides the closeness of their bodies. “For instance, if I still had black whip” The words felt harder to hear than Katsuki thought. “I could use it like this” A hand landed on the side of Katsuki's thigh, causing him to jump. Izuku tightened his grip ignoring his reaction. “If I wrapped it around the back of the villain's leg” His hands smoothly did just that as Katsuki held his breath. “Then I could pull” He pulled Katsuki's leg up with easy strength. Katsuki grunted a little, losing his footing, he could feel his neck turning rosy. “Easily flipping him and gaining the advantage” He let go of Katsuki stepping forward.
For some reason, Katsuki had spent the whole time wishing Izuku would move away from him, but the moment he did he felt the lack of warmth jarring.
“What if you can't use it like you said” One girl asked her partner still holding her in the hold. “Not all of us are that strong either” She looked away shyly.
Izuku listened carefully. Katsuki admired how much Izuku took every word in when his brats spoke. Katsuki wished he could have a piece of the calm and patient that Izuku did. “Thats easy!” he lit up. “It doesn't take a lot of strength and it doesn't require a quirk.” He turned to Katsuki, giving him a motion to come closer. Katsuki quickly wiped away the smile that had formed sometime watching the man teach, so he could play the villain again. They got in the same position, less reluctantly this time.
Katsuki laughed at their size difference. Izuku was by no means small and weak anymore but Katsuki still had a couple inches and several pounds on him. “You really think you can flip me around still?” He asked in the other man's ear. “You might not get-”
Before he could finish his sentence he felt a slam against his back. When he opened his eyes the nerd was straddled on top of him with a smile . “Sorry, Kacchan” He smirked, already moving to stand up. “I gotta let the kids know I still got it” He lowered his hand for Katsuki to take. He huffed, regretting his words as he used the strong arm that had just taken him down to stand up. “See!” He smiled at the class who were all staring at him with gaping mouths and wide eyes. “As long as you can find their footing it's easy!”
Katsuki would've cringed if he wasn't too busy trying to figure out when the hell Izuku Midoriya turned into this cool hero teacher that the entire class was ogling over right now.
He adjusted his heart monitor quickly as they moved to the next one.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
Katsuki and Izuku were both sweating by the time the lesson was over. Katsuki had been folded and slammed and manhandled in about every direction by the teacher. He tried to pretend his breathing wasn't so hard and his forehead wasn't so wet. Izuku just looked like he was having the time of his life kicking his ass. Some part of Katsuki enjoyed the fact that Izuku was stronger than him, even if it also showed that way in the hero ranking.
Katsuki looked around the gym as the kids went to clean up and put their school uniforms back on. There were so many late nights and early morning he spent here, practicing and perfecting his quirk. There were times he cried here, sobbed from anger or stress. When Izuku had left a few days before his birthday to run off and try to save the world by himself, Katsuki had come down here to explode as much shit as he could get his hands on.
He hadn't ever let Izuku go too far away from him since.
Katsuki didn't have to change back since he was heading straight home so he waited on Izuku while he sliped back into the teachers locker room. He watched the kids file in and out of the gym, a pang of nostalgia hitting him. It hadn't been too long ago, yet so much time had still passed. He felt envious that they would enjoy these three years, not having the memories plagued with the feeling of dying, or losing the ones you love. The war had taken such an impact on the students of their year, leaving the whole experience in a cloudy wash of pain.
They had made the best of what they could the last two years, the teachers giving them grace and allowing them to heal. Some had mental pain that would never really heal and would come back in dark times of the night. Uraraka had been a shell of herself those first few months, the bubbly girl completely gone. Kaminari and Kirishima seemed jokeless, Izuku would wake up screaming, sobbing that he was a murderer.
It had been hard on everyone.
There were also the physical injuries. Katsuki’s had been the worst. A bum arm, multiple head injuries, open heart surgery, partial loss of hearing, he had almost lost one of his eyes, and had multiple broken ribs. Recovery had been hellish.
He wouldn't wish that experience on any of the students of today. They were in good hands though.
“Kacchan!” he turned at the sound of the name. The only time he ever heard it in a high pitch girly voice and not the nerds. He was already smiling as Eri ran up to him, Kota closely behind. He obviously wasn't the best at the whole romance thing, but even he could tell the way Kota looked at her.
He pulled her into a hug as Kota waved at him awkwardly behind her. “What’s up brat” He ruffled her hair, her quickly brushing it down, embarrassed, afterwords.
“Oh nothing” She smirked up at him. “Just watching Deku completely kick your ass” She laughed.
He crossed his arms annoyed. It was hard to be mad at the girl for anything after watching her grow up to become who she is today. “Midoriya-Sensei” He corrected. “And watch your fucking language” He teased back.
He can remember the first time he ever heard the little girl cuss at only 6 years old. Aizawa-Sensei housed her for quite some time while they looked fo her a more permanent home. After a few months of looking Aizawa-Sensei and Present Mic both decided it was just easier to adopt her themselves. That and the fact that not even Katsuki missed the way the teachers eyes lit up when he got to have her around. That being said, two full time teachers and part time heroes needed a lot of help in those first few months transitioning into parenthood.
Of course when you have a dorm room of 17 year olds that the kid already knows and loves, you also have free babysitters. Katsuki had not volunteered to handle the girl but of course Izuku had. And while in recovery it was pretty rare for Izuku and Katsuki not to be seen together.
He was rarely scared of the moody teacher but when Eri had opened her mouth that night when he came to pick her back up and told him that he should “Shut his trap you bastard” He had felt more fear in his body than when facing All for One.
He had a soft spot for her to say the least. “And what are you still doing here?” He looked at Kota.
The boy instantly flushed, obviously just waiting to walk back with Eri. He had become quite a punk growing up. The pussycats still looked after him and now that he moved into the dorms he was pretty much on his own. Katsuki was lucky to grow up the way he did, it just took looking at these two kids in front of him to understand it. “I’m just waiting on big bro so I can talk to him about the stupid grade he gave me on our quirk history paper” He rolled his eyes annoyed.
Katsuki tried not to look at them too affectionately. Between the tough exteriors and soft hearts they both reminded him a lot of himself. “Midoriya-Sensei” He corrected again with a grin this time. “Doesn’t anyone here call him by his right name?” He asked sarcastically.
Eri let out a loud laugh. “Weren’t you still calling him Deku when you were our age?” She accused.
To that Katsuki finally did feel got. He felt the blush crawl up his neck hoping it wasn't visible through the hoodie he threw back on. “That’s different” He huffed. “Wasn’t my goddamn teacher” He grumbled.
“It’s okay, Kacchan” Eri fake consoled him as Kota laughed at the scene. “Just admit it” She laughed. “You don't have any rizz” Kota started bursting out laughing at that.
Katsuki whipped his head between the two kids. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He asked frantically. What the hell was rizz ?
Kota tried to speak through fits of laughter. “Oh my god big bro” Kota cackled. “You totally have zero rizz” He continued to laugh.
Katsuki wasn't good at keeping up with what young kids were up to these days. He knew this word must have something to do with Izuku and also must have something to do with something Katsuki lacked in. “Whatever it is, I'm sure I have plenty of it” He said through his teeth.
“I don't know” Eri dragged out playfully. “I think Midoriya-Sensei would agree with us on this one” She looked at him deviously.
Izuku fucking Midoriya would definitely know what this word meant. That pissed Katsuki off even more. “Don’t you dare ask him-”
“Hey!” Eri yelled across the gym as he heard the door to the teachers lounge close. Fuck. “Deku!” She called him over. Having someone that called them both by Kacchan and Deku was still foreign to him.
Izuku turned his head as Katsuki watched in mortification as he made his way back to the three of them with a light jog. When he reached them he gave Katsuki a quick pat on the back causing the blonde man to flinch. Kota could hardly hold in his laughter anymore. “What’s up?” Izuku asked with an amused grin on his face as the kids smiled at him.
“Do you think Kacchan has any rizz?” Eri asked, laughing again as she spoke.
Katsuki waited for the teacher to back him up, telling the kids to stop spouting nonsense. When he didn't hear anything for a few seconds he looked over to see Izuku red in the face from containing his own laughter.
Katsuki shoved his shoulder. “What are you talking about?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly. “What the hell, Izuku?” He asked frustrated, trying to keep his voice from being too whiny.
Izuku calmed himself down, grabbing Katsuki's arm. “It means charisma Kacchan” Katsuki hated that he was explaining the word with the voice that Katsuki knew was his teacher's voice. “I thought we already went over this” He smirked at him.
Katsuki pulled his arm back. “No we didn't?" He huffed. He would remember if he had learned such a stupid word. “I haven't heard any of that delinquent jargon” He glared at the two laughing children in front of him.
Izuku sighed. “No not the meaning” He explained. “That you didn't have any” At that he finally let out the giggles he had been holding in.
Katsuki grabbed the end of the tie Izuku was wearing, pulling him inches from his face. “You little shit” Izuku was still smiling even if he was likely choking to death as they spoke.
Izuku kept smiling, loving to push the buttons he had earned the right ot push. “Remember” He raised his eyebrows. “The other night…” he trailed off.
Katsuki pushed him away quickly. “Shut up” He grumbled. “Don’t talk about that kinda crap in front of the kids” he glared at the teacher.
“Oh please” Izuku rolled his eyes. “You cuss like a sailor around these two”
The two in question shook their heads in agreement. “Yeah big bro told us how many times you used to get in trouble in high school-”
“Okay, okay, enough” The teacher held up his hands, finally a little embarrassed by the situation. “Kota, you wanted to talk to me?” he asked the boy.
When they walked away Eri elbowed Katsuki in the side. “See that was a little better” she grinned.
Katsuki, tired of being completely lost just shoved her lightly. “You can talk when you get Kota to finally ask you out” He raised his eyebrows.
“Hey!” She slapped his arm.
It was always something when he showed up back here. A piece of nostalgia that could walk with him.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
Once class was dismissed, Katsuki and Izuku were left to their own in Izuku’s classroom. He watched as the teacher packed up his belongings, scarfed down the food Katsuki had made, and rambled about how many other things he wished he could have taught today.
“My back is telling me you taught them plenty today, nerd” Katsuki grimaced as he stretched his back out.
Izuku grabbed his camera to fling around his neck as he headed for the light switch. Katsuki wasn't really sure why he was still here or what he expected out of walking together. “Sorry, Kacchan” Izuku laughed. “I have had Aimi-San help before-”
“Who” Katsuki blurted out too quickly for his brain to catch up.
Izuku looked at him sideways for a second. “She’s a teacher here” He smiled. “She graduated from Ketsubutsu” He looked away embarrassed.
“I’m probably better help anyway” He scoffed, unsure of why he felt so appalled by the idea of someone else doing what he and Izuku were doing. Izuku’s hand on the woman’s thigh, his mouth inches from hers, bodies pressed together-
“It’s not really about how helpful she was” Izuku laughed anxiously. “The kids just…” He trailed off.
Katsuki nudged him as they walked together to the front gates. “What” He asked unbothered by his own curiosities at this point.
Izuku itched the back of his head awkwardly. “They just well” He looked at him again. “They told me she was flirting with me” He cringed.
Katsuki’s hands suddenly popped. He looked down to see the bento he had taken back partially melting on one side. “ Shit ” He cursed as he swtiched hands and wiped the sweat off his palm that was building up.
“Kacchan!” Izuku grabbed his wrist. “What happened?” He asked nervously.
It was Katsuki’s bad arm. When he was first relearning how to use the quirk in it, there were often times he would let out accidental explosions just like this one. His hand had lost most of its nerve endings resulting in an extreme amount of concentration needed to maintain when and where his quirk went off. “S’fine” He pulled his arm away. “Just sweat build up” He lied. Although, he wasn't sure what the truth was.
Izuku looked a little dejected as they walked closer and closer to where they would need to part ways. It always ended like this for them. A quiet conversation, more hidden behind the words they were saying. A slow walk to a painful stop where it felt like they were being ripped apart sometimes. A goodbye that felt too shallow for the connection they had.
Katsuki cleared his throat as they arrived to their closing point. “It’s good that you had me come” He said quietly.
“Yeah?” Izuku asked just a soft.
Katsuki nodded. “Yeah, then the kids will leave their Sensei alone” He punched Izuku’s shoulder with his good hand. “Since I apparently have zero Rizzma or whatever the hell”
Izuku let out a snort that lit Katsuki up. Just like at the bar when the stranger man had made him laugh. It was moments like this that proved to Katsuki somewhere deep down, his same Izuku was waiting for him. Past the pain and stress, that little boy with dreams was still there. “I don’t think you’re so bad” Izuku punched his shoulder back.
Katsuki didn't know quite how to answer that. Was this a good time to talk? To figure out why Katsuki had felt this pull in their friendship. “I actually wanted-”
Izuku's phone buzzed in the middle of his sentence. Izuku sorrowfully pulled it out of his front pocket. Katsuki swallowed his words as he watched Izuku's eyes scan over the message. “Ugh” he sighed, shoving it back in. “You were saying?”
Katsuki’s worry had been replaced. “Oh um-” He cleared his throat. “I was just gonna ask how Icy Hots cooking was” He lied. “Whats with the groaning?” He tried to change the subject.
Izuku rolled his eyes. “YaoMomo” He responded. “Shes got all this money and she keeps sending me pictures of ideas she wants to wear for the picture and-” He continued to ramble as they stood parallel to each other. “ I have teacher money” He pointed at himself. “And I also have no fashion taste” He held out his red sneakers as he lifted his pant leg.
“The sneakers are a classic” Katsuki tried to tease. Izuku just let out another long groan. “You just have to wear green” He scoffed. “Isn’t that like your whole thing anyway" He pointed out.
Izuku rolled his eyes again. “You’re no help” He pouted. “Kacchan looks good in everything” He sighed.
Katsuki froze. Kacchan looks good in everything. Something about hearing his name in third person caused him to shiver. Not to mention the fact that it was a compliment. “Duh” He said unconvincingly. He rocked back on his heels when he realized how close they had drifted towards each other. “Its kinda hard to help you” He shrugged. “Can’t just give you my natural good looks” He tried to play the confident card like his mind wasn't screaming at him.
Izuku smiled at that. Finally . “Can’t you just come over this weekend?” Izuku used his best whining voice”
Katsuki's resolve broke instantly. “If that prevents you from looking like hot garbage at the pictures then sure” He sighed. “When”
Izuku nerdily raised his fist in the air in celebration. “Yes!” He jumped like a child. “Sunday?” He asked quickly after. “I get paid then!” He smiled. “Then we can go to the mall and look!”
Katsuki tried to bite back the smile that was forming on his own face in lou of the others' contagion. “Yeah yeah” He quickly ruffled his gloved hands through Izuku’s curls. “Just don’t expect me to sit and wait on you try on clothes like some kind of house wife” He joked.
Izuku nodded at him with a beaming grin. “Okay, Kacchan!” He waved. “See you Sunday!” He goofily walked backwards as they went to part ways. Katsuki had to turn away first or Izuku would’ve walked backward until Katsuki was lost in the horizon.
And he couldn't let him see the toothy grin he was wearing.
✧ Izuku ✧
Ochako (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
Do you think its normal for me to pack eight pairs of underwear for a four day trip?
Sent 10:04 a.m.
Izuku snorted as he read the message. He hadn't even thought about what to pack for the tirp at the end of the week. He was too busy trying to still figure out day one, let alone the other three.
Me
Do you plan on shitting your pants multiple times?
Sent 10:05 a.m.
He threw his phone on the bed and continued getting ready. Kacchan said he would be here at 10:30, which for Kacchan actually meant 10:15 with coffee waiting on Izuku in his porsche. He had gotten used to the luxurious car that Kacchan had bought with his well earned money. Shortly after purchasing most of Izuku’s hero suit, Kacchan started being able to afford nice things for himself. Izuku still couldn't believe the sacrifices he had made for him.
It was a little chillier today when he had gone on his morning run. He ran his hands through the dozens of hoodies he had collected over the years. His hand hovered over the limited addition Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight merch that had dropped when he made it to top twenty a few years ago. Izuku had put a lot into his collection those years where he wasn't in the field. The Chargebolt studded belt, the Uravity sunglass collection, he even purchased Red Riots hero calendar no matter how ‘Perverted’ Kacchan said it was.
He decided on the hoodie and slipped it on with a pair of baggy jean shorts and his red sneakers. He ran a finger through his hair, g ood enough, and went to wait by the door. He checked his phone one last time before he left. Kacchan hated it when people were on their phones when hanging out with him. He had no interest in being on social media and no interest in watching others participate in it either. He reminded Izuku a lot of his father, Masaru.
He would never tell the other that though.
Ochako (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
Funny.
Sent 10:06 a.m.
Today’s the shopping day right?
Sent 10:06 a.m.
Me
Yup. Hopefully Kacchan will pick out something decent for me ┐(´ー｀)┌
Sent 10:11 a.m.
Ochako (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡
Oh! Bakugou is helping? Maybe you should help him find something for himself (>ᴗ•) ! Then maybe he will have better luck this trip
Sent 10:12 a.m.
Izuku felt an annoyance tug at the response. Why was everyone so in Kacchans business about this! The teasing was fine but they weren't actually going to try to set him up with anyone right? That could even be dangerous! No way would he just let someone stay in the rooms they got for themselves. In his room, alone. With alcohol and free time and everyone pressuring him and-
Me
I don’t think I can help with that.
Sent 10:14 a.m.
He was about to put his phone up when another buzz went off.
Kacchan! ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)💢
Here.
Sent 10:14 a.m.
He shoved the phone back in his pocket and quickly grabbed his backpack and camera. He hussled down the stairs, grabbing the notebook of notes he had taken at YaoMomos request on the way.
Finding the sleek black car in the parking lot of his shitty apartment was easy. When he walked up Kacchan was leaning on the hood scrollign for something on his phone. His ears were tinted red from the cold, his nose scrunched as he squinted at the device, scrolling with his index finger in confusion.
Cute.
It was a word that came to mind at the image.
Izuku walked forward making Kacchan jump at the noise of gravel. “Watcha looking at?” Izuku pretended to be peering at the others phone.
Surprisingly, Kacchan really did yank his phone back, clearly hiding something. “None ya” He said pocketing the phone.
Izuku’s stomach sank a bit. Was it a person? Had he already started trying to fill the hole that people were telling him he had. “Does Kacchan have a secret admirer?” He asked trying to tease even if his voice came out on edge. He just didn't want Kacchan to force himself into anything.
“Shut up” Katsuki said moving to climb into the vehicle. Dejected, and a little hurt by the secrecy, Izuku did too. He laid his bag in the backseat feeling a little lost for words. He wasn't sure why he felt so bothered by it. Kacchan was a grown man who was allowed to keep things from his best friend. They drove in silence for several minutes, Kacchan quietly hiding and Izuku quietly sulking. “I was looking at the amenities.” He finally spoke.
Izuku, lost in the silence, turned to him quickly. “What?” He asked confused.
“On my phone” Katsuki said annoyed. “I was seeing what the hotel had to offer” He said softer.
Izuku felt a relief flood in him. He smiled now. “Is Kacchan excited for his first paid time off?” He poked the others arm.
Katsuki swatted it away, although he was smiling too now, likely also relieved that they were okay again. “Whatever” He gave in. “I just was making sure they had an onsen” He flipped his blinker on, changing lanes.
Izuku studied him as he meticulously drove. “I didn't know you were a onsen guy” He remarked.
Kacchan looked slightly embarrassed as he tossed words around in his head. “They don't have one” He said. “But they have a hot tub” He looked at Izuku. “It feels good on my arm” He held up the mangled and scared hand. “I was thinking it could probably benefit you too” He looked back at the road quickly.
Izuku was stunned for a second. Completely taken aback by the sentiment. Was Kacchan seriously considering Izuku’s needs when choosing the place he picked for them to stay. “W-We will have to go then” He said still looking at the other with awe.
“Okay” Kacchan nodded curtly. Izuku knew better than to harp on him about it. Kacchan was getting better about his emotions but he didn't like being rewarded for the bare minimum either. He knew that he was trying and that was all that mattered between the two of them. Kacchan’s eyes moved from Izuku’s face down to his hoodie. “ Tsk” He scoffed at it, taking one of his hands off the wheel to pull on the strings. “You seriously wearing that out in public?”
Izuku pulled at the hoodie to loosen where Kacchan had just pulled. “Are you serious?” Izuku looked down at the hoodie. It was perfect, the subtle orange cross, the army green threading, some of the best merch he owned. “This sweatshirt is awesome!” He argued. “It’’s super functional with the large pocket and the sleeve aren't too tight like some of my other ones plus-”
“Okay, okay, nerd” Kacchan interrupted.
Izuku stopped talking. He then noticed what Kacchan was wearing. “You’re wearing Red Riots number ten hero release quarter zip!” He accused.
Kacchan scoffed. “It’s not embarrassing to wear hero merch” He rolled his eyes. “It’s embarrassing when you wear it with the actual hero in your presence” He corrected.
Izuku rolled his eyes right back. “Fine” He started pulling off the sleeves. “I’ll take it off” He huffed. “I’m wearing a NightHide t-shirt anyway” He argued.
Kacchan grabbed his wrist. “No” He said seriously. Izuku looked at him victoriously. “I mean it's cold and I'm not gonna be responsible for giving the number four hero a fever” He let go.
Izuku smiled, content with the small win. After a few moments of silence he nudged the others arm on the console. “You know I wouldn't be upset if you wore some Deku merch” He teased.
Kacchan laughed. “While I'm standing in his presence” He lifted his eyebrows. “Hell no” He let out another sarcastic laugh.
Izuku laughed too. “I’m just teasing I know you don't like collecting as much as I do” He got quiet for some reason, now embarrassed. Was it embarrassing to buy your friends merch? He tugged at the sleeves thinking about taking it off anyway. Would people really look at him and think he was weird or obsessive. I mean he was obsessive. Kacchan was amazing and he loved watching him be a hero and he had risked everything, his life, to win the war but-
“I can hear you overthinking” Kacchan cut him off. “I own some of your shit too” He nudged Izuku’s arm back too.
“Y-you do?” Izuku asked, shocked.
“Course” Kacchan said instantly. “You’re half the reason I'm a hero” His voice was vulnerable. He put his other arm on the steering wheel, his natural heat moving further from Izuku. Izuku found himself missing it. “Stop looking at me like that” He said without looking back at Izuku. “You already knew that”
“Right” Izuku turned back to face the road as well. Half the reason I'm a hero. It was something Izuku had always felt too. It was something that usually went unsaid. After a few more blocks of silence Izuku spoke again. “I’d still like to see you wear it sometime” he dared.
“Okay, nerd” He responded as they pulled into the parking lot. “But just know the real reason I bought it was so I could sell it for double the price later” He smirked.
“Of course, Kacchan" Izuku smiled.
His stomach fluttered as the walked into the shopping mall.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
They hadn't had luck at the first few stores. Izuku slipped on different shades of green and silk and tried to like the reflection he saw. They all had scars, he knew that. They usually didn't bother him like they were now. But something about the expensive and smooth shirts against his ripped up arms and crooked fingers looked just wrong. Like somehow he was wrong for even trying to look nice.
Kacchan had been as patient as possible, roaming around stores, tossing shirts over dressing room doors if he found them suitable. He had told Izuku to show him if he found anything he liked on but the thought of presenting his mangled body to the perfect man felt unappetizing.
It was at the fourth store that he finally found a long sleeve green silk dress shirt that matched almost perfectly to some of the items YaoMomo had sent him. He showed it to Kacchan getting a ‘ Not totally shitty’ in response, meaning it was by far the best thing they had found all day. Excited that he had found something worth while, and equally excited to get the hell out of the mall, Izuku hurried off to what was hopefully the last dressing room of the evening.
He pried off his hoodie and t-shirt for what he could only assume was the last time. The shirt was on the hanger unbuttoned so he threw it over both shoulders and slid his arms in, fixing the collar after it was on. It already looked ten times better than anything else from the day, all he had to do was button it.
He grabbed the two bottom buttons, assuring the were lined up perfectly. There was no way Kacchan wouldn’t approved of this one! He moved his fingers, trying to clasp them together. His index finger locked up as he tried to push the small button through. He stuck out his tongue in determination, fingers now shaking from strain.
He let go of both sides of the shirt for a few seconds, gathering his composure before trying again. He started from the top button this time. He looked at his reflection, moving his chin downwards to try to manuever them together. He bit his lip. He would not cry over this. This was not worth crying over. He could do it it just might take some time. He took a shaky inhale in, the tears already clouding the vision of the buttons. He blinked hard, freeing a few drops onto the ground below him.
He was not a crybaby anymore .
His fingers hurt, his wrist hurt, his feelings hurt.
A knock at the door caused him to jump, letting both sides of the shirt go once again. “ Fuck” He whispered under his breath.
“Izuku?” He could hear the concern laced in Kacchan's voice. “You still trying that shirt on?” He asked with a confused tone.
He should've been done five minutes ago. He shouldn't still be in here with his useless fingers and useless hands. “Sorry” He responded quickly. “I’m just-” His voice cracked against his will. “Um, I’ll hurry” He said dumbly.
It was silent fo a few more seconds. “Izuku?” Kacchan asked again. “Do you- do you need help?”
Izuku took another shuttering breath in to try and calm his voice. “Ye-” He couldn't finish the words before the tears wettened his voice. “ Yeah” He managed to croak.
Another bit of silence, Izuku could hear Kacchan’s feet shuffling. “Open the door” He jiggled the handle.
Izuku pushed the handle down, causing the lock to release, frantically wiping away the tears with the back of his hand. “C-Come in” He sniffled.
Izuku watched as the door opened just wide enough for Kacchan to slide himself into the small room. With the two of them in here it seemed even smaller, their feet inches from touching. Kacchan just looked at him, first at the shirt where it laid open and then back to his face where his eyes had started pouring again. Carefully, he lifted his hand. Izuku didn't flinch. He had never flinched at the mans movements, no matter how many times he probably could have. Kacchan reached up and wiped the stray tear off his cheek. “What’s going on?” He asked in a gentle voice that Izuku had begun to hear more frequently after their first year.
Izuku took a deep breath. He needed to reel it in. He held out his shaky hands to the other. “I- I can’t-”
Kacchan clicked his teeth in acknowledgment. “C’mere” He tugged at the hem. Izuku moved forward, too close, as Kacchan started buttoning the shirt for him. His warm fingers brushed against Izukus toned stomach. He let out a small gasp at the touch. If Izuku was embarrassed by the intimate touch, Kacchan was equally so. They did not make eye contact as the mans fingers expertly worked all the way to the top, his ear growing a shade of red. “There” He let go the instant the top one was done.
Izuku turned to look himself in the mirror. It still wasn't right. His dejected sigh must have given away his disapproval. “I think I give up for the day” He admitted. “I’m so sorry for making you come, I’m sure it was really boring, and on your day off too-”
“Izuku” Kacchan cut him off. “You still don't like asking for help, huh?” He gave him a soft smile. He grabbed the mans shoulder twisting him back to face the other. Then he began unbottoning the shirt in the same order he had just fastened it. Somehow this was even more breath-taking than before. “How about this” Kacchan spoke as he worked down the shirt. Izuku shrugged it off his shoulders as he went to retrieve his own clothes. “You um…” Kacchan trailed off. Izuku looked back up at him concerned, to which Kacchan cleared his throat. “I mean, I brought a bunch of clothes with me, in the trunk” He held up his keys. “You know my parents just send me shit from their lines” He rolled his eyes. “Every green article of dress clothing is in a bag right now” Izuku looked him in the eyes feeling completely overwhelmed. “I can come to your place and you can try them on there?” He waited for Izuku to nod. “Does that sound easier?”
Izuku nodded quietly again. “I’m sorry for all the trouble” He felt ashamed. Waves like this one would come and go often after his first year at UA. People had hated him. They thought of him as a burden during the war. The civilians didn’t think his life was worth saving. Now little things like this made him feel small.
Useless all over again.
Kacchan just shrugged. He knew it wouldn't ease Izuku anymore to tell him he wasn’t a burden. “You can pay me back by showing me every article of Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight merch you own so I know what to exclude when you pack for the trip” He joked.
“You’ll help me pack?!” Izuku perked up at that.
Kacchan rolled his eyes again. “Of course thats the only thing you took away from that” He sighed. “C’mon” He pushed the dressing room doors open and headed straight for the parking lot. “It’s time to find something that at least looks half as good on you as it does me” He smirked.
Izuku nodded, beaming brighter than he had all day.
✵ Katsuki ✵
“Dammit Izuku, just try it on” Katsuki huffed. It had been several more hours of trying on Katsuki’s clothes. Some of it was too big, some of it was too small to Katsuki’s mild horror. Were Izuku’s thighs really that much bigger than his? Some of the shirts were too baggy in the arms but then would hardly button around Izuku’s waist.
Izuku frowned at the shirt. “Kacchan, I love the shirt, really” He sounded pathetic. “But it’s…”
Katsuki looked down at the shirt he was holding. Plain button up, perfect color, tapered sleeves, gold buttons. “What?” He asked genuinely confused. “You know, if I would have known you were going to be this picky about my clothing I would’ve just-”
“Its not about the shirt its just..” Izuku bit his lip again.
“Spit it out, nerd” Katsuki said impatiently. He was working on being better and more understanding but it was past ten in the evening and he should’ve been in bed an hour ago. “Izuku” He demanded again when the nerd was still staring on the front of it.
“The buttons” he sighed. Katsuki contiued looking at him. “I’m-I’m rooming with Monama and-” He rubbed a hand over his face. “He hasn't always been the nicest and I am just worried if I ask him for help that he will make fun of me or I don’t know think I am stupid or something-”
“Izuku” Katsuki spoke again. He walked over shoving the shirt over Izuku back, forcing his arms to delve into it. “First of all, Monoma isn't all that bad anymore” he reassured. “He changed back in school” He began buttoning the shirt up as he could feel Izuku staring at him. “Second of all, I didn't realize something was wrong with my hands” He scoffed.
Izuku’s breath hitched, chest rising just gently under the button Katsuki was working on. “Y-Your hands?” Katsuki begged his mind not to go anywhere it shouldn't.
“I mean I've buttoned you up twice, I don't know what one more time would hurt” He said sarcastically. “That is of course unless you think I’m not good enough” He remarked.
Izuku pulled away, hands going up for defense instantly. “No-No, not that at all!” He argued. “Kacchan’s amazing at everything he does” Katsuki made a sour face at the praise. The nerd really didn't know time and place for anything ever. “It’s just that your going to be so busy and I wouldn't want to burden you and-”
“Can you stop?” Katsuki felt himself spit out in anger. Izuku shut his mouth immediately. Katsuki regretted the way his face fell at the tone and the sharpness of the words. “I just mean” He tried to calm his voice a little. Izuku’s shoulders visibly relaxed. “Stop treating our relationship like it’s something so fragile still” He whispered, surprising himself with the softness. “I risked my life for you– and I would do it again before you start apologizing” He held up his hand. Izuku relaxed further. “We have been through too much together for you to worry about whether I’m gonna blow a gasket over having to button a shirt up” He sighed.
“R-Right” Izuku sighed. “Sorry” Katsuki ruffled his hair, further cutting the tension between them. Izuku shoved his arm away playfully. Once they made eye contact, Katsuki could see Izuku still had concern in his face.
“What else?” He asked easily reading the situation. Therapy had paid off it seemed.
Izuku picked at his fingers. “What if Kacchan has someone in his room?” He asked shyly.
Katsuki furrowed his brows in confusion. “I’m not sharing with anyone, and it’s not like the whole party hasn't already seen you shirtless” He said sarcastically. “Here” He picked up Izukus phone. “You should send a picture to Yaoyorozu” He held up the camera as Izuku gave a wary smile.
Katsuki took the liberty of sending the text for him.
Me
This is the best the nerds got.
Sent 10:54 p.m.
Image.842938
Sent 10:54 p.m.
YaoMomo
Stunning!
Sent 10:54 p.m.
He tossed the others phone back onto the bed. “She approved” He gave a smirk.
Izuku's face was still watching him with something unreadable behind it. “G-Good” He seemed to snap out of it. A long period of awkward silence passed between them as they meticulously folded the unused clothes to shove back into Katsuki’s duffle bag. It often ended up with Izuku being reprimanded and Katsuki refolding his pathetic attempts. “Um, Kacchan” Izuku spoke up after a long stretch of no one talking.
“Nerd” Katsuki answered in response.
He watched Izuku shuffle around. “What I meant earlier” He looked up at him. “When I was talking about people in your room…” He trailed off hoping Katsuki caught on.
And unfortunately he did. Not people, but, one night stands. He had almost had the privilege of forgetting how hyper fixated the group had become on Katsuki’s sex life, or lack there of. Izuku had thought that someone would be in his room, sneaking out on early mornings, or coming in for late nights. “Pictures are on the first day before we even hit the bars” he tried to joke. He wanted to deflect, wanted the whole conversation to be dropped. “I don't think I work that fast” He forced himself to laugh.
Izuku wasn't laughing with him. “R-Right” he gave just as fake of a chuckle back. “D-Do you?” He looked at Katsuki differently. “Do you think you will try?” he asked softly.
Katsuki stared back. Anything but this. “Try what, nerd?”
“To- well, get laid” He said bluntly. Hearing the crude words from his childhood friend shocked him briefly.
Ew, no his initial thought almost pushed forward. “Maybe” He shot out instead. Never in a million years he followed up with again in his brain.
“Ah” Izuku said.
Something in the air shifted. Izuku’s face was no longer shy or soft, it had hardened, had become void of emotion. Fix it. Katsuki’s body tensed. “I’ll have to-”
“It’s late” Izuku cut him off. “Did you need a place to crash?” He raised his eyebrows, the same familiar smile forming back on his face.
It was almost scary how fast he had controlled whatever emotion he had just gone through. “Yeah” Katsuki’s voice cracked. “Sure” he nodded, frankly scared to say no.
He saw Izuku take a breath of relief. “Good” He said simply, peeling the shirt over his head rather than unbuttoning it. Katsuki was momentarily stunned at the confidence the man had in himself. He put one knee on the bed, pulling back the covers. “You can take the bed” He looked at Katsuki even as Izuku had already crawled into it.
He clearly wasn't actually offering then. Katsuki scoffed. “Looks like you already beat me to it” He mumbled.
Izuku paused, confusion striking his face. He hadn't meant that they could both sleep in the bed, right? The had shared tons as kids and there was certainly a hand full of times in high school when nightmares were too much or sleep was too fruitless. Never since.
“My bad” Izuku nodded. “Thought you were okay with sharing your bed with someone now” he said aggressively.
Was he shaming Katsuki? Was he seriously this upset that Katsuki might think about having sex with someone. What the hell had he done? “Are you serious?” He asked as Izuku shifted further into bed.
Izuku now faced the wall, nothing but his curls showing for Katsuki. “As serious as you are” He mumbled. Katsuki was lost for words. It was moments like this that made Katsuki feel so lost on what their friendship was. The delicacy he had just talked about had been shattered and replaced in just a few moments. “There’s pillows in the closet”
Katsuki felt something like a gut punch. He turned without another word to leave the room but before he could take that final step something dragged him back in. “Just so you know” He turned back to the motionless man. “Even if there was someone” He felt his voice choking up betraying his sour mood. “I would make time for you” He turned to leave again. “I’ve always done that” He retrieved the pillows and landed on the couch with a thud.
This is what he meant. This is what people failed to see. No one seemed to understand why he and Izuku hadn't figured out their relationship by now but this was why. It always came to a head like this and it drove Katsuki crazy. He stared up at the ceiling of Izuku’s apartment, pleading with his legs to not return to the mans room and scream at him until his throat went raw. He was pissed. Pissed that Izuku had turned some mocking bullshit that their friends had made in their idiotic heads, and shaped it into another way for Katsuki and Izuku to stay competing.
Izuku had proudly held a leg above him, constantly swarmed with men and women alike. He liked that he had that when Katsuki didn't.
Fine.
Then maybe Katsuki would actually try. He will show Izuku and the whole damn class for that matter just how much fucking action he can get. He ignored the tears prickling behind his eyes as he forced them to sleep.
He could fucking do it.
Katsuki Bakugou had always been competitive. It was just his nature.
Chapter 2: Hand Massages
Summary:
After a tense week, Izuku and Katsuki decide to start fresh on the trip. If everything's okay between them now, then why can't they seem to stay on the same page when it comes to seeking out romance with the people they meet in Okinawa?
Notes:
Guys hello!!!
First of all this is already almost at 1k hits and 100 kudos which is INSANE<3333333
I LOVE this chapter and think you katsuki lovers will enjoy it too hehehehehhehehehe
enjoy :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku hated feeling like he was a burden. That’s why he had to make things okay.
He woke up too early for his liking. He and Kacchan had been up late, meticulously picking out an outfit for Izuku to wear when they took group photos on the first night of the trip. His words slowly came to him. As serious as you are. He had lashed out. He had bottled up everything for weeks and had taken it out on one of the most important people to him. Every part of his day is focused on just being okay. When he had been pushed to the front line of the war at sixteen he had to put on a brave face and be okay with protecting his friends, his teachers, the world. Then, when it was announced to everyone that one day, soon, he would lose his quirk entirely, he had to tell them it was okay. He hadn't even shed a tear.
Kacchan had sat in that hospital room with him sobbing, mourning the loss of One for All more than he ever could. Where Izuku had been devoid of emotion, his friends had been fruitful. Then, he had to watch as every single one of them went on to become heroes, well-rounded and brave. He couldn't. He was back to being quirkless. People had told him he could do it anyway, he was strong and resilient, but the problem didn't lie in his characteristics. The problem laid in the fact that he no longer wanted it.
Maybe watching your best friend die for you, shortly before killing someone yourself did that to a person.
He had gone off to university, got his teaching degree after only two years, started working a UA shortly after. It was there, that he found his passion again. He began working closely with a new generation, fueled with hope and victory. He got to watch as they grew into themselves just as he did. He got to guide them to a future that was much safer than his, due to his own sacrifices. It made everything he went through worth it. It made the long nights of no sleep after worth it, the look on Kacchan’s face when he knew they could no longer be heroes worth it, the guilt that still flowed through his brain when he closed his eyes and saw Tenko worth it.
But it didn't mean he was satisfied. He would go home at night and turn on the tv. There he would see Shouto or Ochako or even Tenya if the camera could catch him. Sero would be swinging from buildings, Kaminari would be electrocuting a bank robber. They were always there doing everything he wished he could.
And then last fall happened. One year ago, Kacchan had found a way, because of course he had.
Izuku lost the embers in their third year. One moment he was sparring with Kirishima the next moment he was running out the gym door feeling the fleeting feeling approaching too soon. He had always wondered how it would feel. With All Might it was ravishing, aggressive. It tore his body up and spit him back out. Izuku always feared the same would happen to him. Maybe he would be flying and then suddenly hit the ground. Maybe he would be punching and nothing but a soft hit would land.
It wasn't that, Izuku knew it was coming before it did. Everyone had left him alone, he had requested it long ago. He wanted it to be him and the quirk when it died. So he ran, straight from the gym and out to the open field right outside of the training grounds. He took off, letting the embers lift his legs from the ground. Float. It was the first one to leave as his legs hit the ground with a heavy heave. He kept running. The tears still didn't come. He let out a puff of purple smoke, letting it consume his lungs one last time as it faded to a clear sky. Danger sense never went off that day, it had left quietly as Izuku felt his senses slip from him. He kept running, the bright green faded to a small crackle. He heard the familiar sound of popping and exploding behind him. He didn't look back. One last blast of energy. Fa jin and Gearshift worked together and then died like twins. He set off, no sight of a safe landing. He didn't care.
He fell heavy to the ground, pain like he hadn't felt in years. That’s when the crying started. He could hear the footsteps land behind him. He still didn't look, he let himself sob as the vestiges whispered their goodbyes. The moment he heard the boots take a step forward he turned and he lost it. He had wanted to be alone. It was his only request.
Blackwhip jetted out. The first quirk unlocked and the last to stick around. It was thrown at the man behind him. But just like every other time, Kacchan was invincible to the strands of Izuku’s heart. He stood there, unflinching as Izuku's fury wrapped on either side of him, untouching. Kacchan walked closer, blackwhip adjusting itself to move out of his way, until, it was gone too.
Izuku doesn't know if he ever felt a heart break quite like it. It faded with a crack, his heart going with it. Kacchan had lifted his head, laid it on his shoulder as he let out a gutteral cry. It was the first time the tears had come since that night in the coffin. The first time he had dropped his brave guard and allowed himself to feel. It was Kacchan’s turn to mask his emotion and push Izuku past the pain.
Izuku hadn't actually wanted to be alone, he knew this. But he hadn't wanted anyone to see his hurt. Hadn't wanted them to feel guilty for things they could never change. But Kacchan was never like the others. He never did things he didn't want to. He never went out of his way for people that didn't matter to him. So of course, he had been the first one there. Of course he had stayed.
And then, almost eight years later, he had given Izuku his world. Years of trying to break the threshold of top ten and failing. Years of living in his shitty apartment that Izuku told him he should move out of. Years and secret trips to I-Island and America. It all made sense the day Izuku got his suit from All Might.
For the rest of our lives.
Kacchan had never let his words lie.
Izuku had felt alive for the first time since he was fifteen. He was back in the field, back fighting along side his friends. He arrested villains and saved the innocent. He and Kacchan had got to do patrols together and go on missions when they were needed. He continued teaching, no matter how hard Kacchan had pushed the idea of him becoming a full time side kick at his agency. He had found his calling and he had got to pursue his true love for winning to save.
He should have been happy. He should have been fulfilled. And he was briefly. But still, something was missing. He thought it was the quirk, maybe it had left him empty. But with his suit he could do everything the same, so what was it really? He thought maybe it was a lover, someone to walk through life with, but after countless hookups, dates, and set ups from friends, he hadn't felt so empty.
And sometimes, he lashed out. Just like he had last night. He hadn't even understood why himself. Maybe he didn't like the idea of change. Kacchan finding someone to place higher on his pedestal than Izuku. It was selfish. Izuku should want Kacchan to be happy.
There was one night he remembers like it was yesterday. The night Kacchan went to the party with him. For whatever reason he had agreed and for whatever reason they had both gotten too drunk too fast. Izuku had found a girl early in the night, cute, timid. She had been the one to kiss him when the night got darker. Kacchan had disappeared after that. Worried, Izuku searched, he ran around hazily, hoping his best friend hadn't wondered in to trouble. His hero rank had already been struggling from his attitude with journalist, the last thing he needed was to pick a fight with a college kid.
Then he had found him, wrapped around some man. The stranger kissed down his jaw ad Izuku watched it twitch. And for some reason that really pissed Izuku off. A stranger? Someone who didn't know Kacchan. Someone who had probably seen him on TV and been drooling over him from afar. Really ?
Izuku had been doing the same thing, he knew it. But he deserved it. He deserved to go through the pain. Kacchan deserved to be treated right. And he didn't care if he didn't know that guy he did know that there was no way he was doing Kacchan any good.
He remembers trying to confront Kacchan about it days later only to be shoved off. Whatever it was must not of been that great, because the guys name had never been brought up again. Since that night, Izuku had hardly ever heard Kacchan mention being intrigued by dates or sex or even talking to other people. Suddenly, now that their friends just had to bring his personal life into it, Kacchan wanted to push himself. It made Izuku angry.
Enough, sprialing.
He needed to get up regardless of whether Kacchan was sleeping on the couch. On Monday’s, he had early shift with Shinsou and Sero before teaching. He pulled himself out and bed and made his way to the kitchen. It was especially important on days like this one that he be caffeinated.
He tip toed through the hall, hoping he could avoid poking the bear this morning. Maybe if he left Kacchan to rest and sent him a text later, he would be less grumpy and hand him forgiveness. Curiosity got to the best of him, he hardly ever got to see the tense man relaxed, eyes closed, breathing with ease. He moved over to the couch, to peak only quickly.
When he placed his arm on the back of the couch to lean over his heart sank.
Kacchan was already gone.
Had he even stayed the night? Even if he left only a few moments ago, it was still dark outside. He didn't have morning shift today, so where the hell did he need to run off to so quickly? Izuku felt himself began to catastrophize situations as he often did. Shortly after his first year, he had been put into mandated therapy by UA. He and pretty much every other student their year had needed to be checked out professionally after the events they witnessed or went through. Izuku had learned some things he already knew about himself, some things he tried to forget about himself, and a few things that he was unsure of.
The professional had told him he was possessive, obsessive, controlling. He knew this and he was working on it, really. The man had seen the footage from the war, the footage where Kacchan had died, the footage that the class had made a pact together to never watch. Shigaraki had said it out in the open. He said that the only reason he was after Kacchan’s life was because of how close Izuku kept him. Izuku had become so possessive over their friendship that it had caused Kacchan to lose his life.
Obsessive. Something he tried to forget, no matter how many times people reminded him. Another thing that resulted in the path he led today. Obsessing over being a hero, obsessing over being the strongest, bravest, greatest, obsessing over catching right onto Kacchan’s heels. The result, being a war that nearly ended Japan.
Controlling. This was something he didn't understand fully yet. He hated the lack of control he felt sometimes. It caused him to think of the worst case-scenarios and hone in on only the worst of the options. This caused him to act irrationally, lash out when unnecessary.
He had learned steps to prevent this.
Rather than assuming the worst it was best to lay out the options.
Option one: Kacchan was mad at him and decided not to stay and probably never wants to talk to him ever again after what he said to him. Worst case-scenario.
Option two: Kacchan forgot he had something to do and is probably about to text Izuku right now with a picture of Tofu and a message saying ‘Left you coffee in the fridge’. Best case-scenario.
Option three: Probably the truth.
He unplugged his phone from where it had been charging on the wall. Kacchan must have plugged it in when he left Izuku’s room last night. He must not have been too upset then.
He looked down at it. There were no messages from Kacchan directly, but there were messages he had sent in the wedding party group chat. He scrolled through them mindlessly.
KiriMina’s Crew !!!
Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚
So, what if we just went out on Wednesday night? That way, we won't have to worry about waking up early for the flight, since we'll still be partying!
Sent: 11:03 p.m.
Jirou ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ.
You can enjoy that journey alone (─ ‿ ─)
Sent 11:05 p.m.
YaoMomo
*Liked Jirou ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ message*
Sent 11:05 p.m.
Monoma
*Liked Jirou ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ message*
Sent 11:05 p.m.
Tsu₍𝄐⩌𝄐₎
*Liked Jirou ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ ﾟ message*
Sent 11:05 p.m.
Kirishima ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
*Liked Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚ message*
Sent 11:06 p.m.
Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚
Eiji!!!!! I knew you’d be on my side!!!!
Sent 11:07 p.m.
Shinsou ( ꩜ ᯅ ꩜;)
Please, Kirishima, do not encourage my boyfriend's behavior.
Sent 11:08 p.m.
Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚
Wednesday!!!! We RALLLLLYYYY!!!!!
Sent 11:08 p.m.
Kirishima ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
*Emphasized Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚ Message*
Sent 11:08 p.m.
Mina ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★🛸
If E wants to continue having a future wife, he will NOT be in attendance Wednesday night.
Sent 11:10 p.m.
Kirishima ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
*Removed like from Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚ message*
Sent 11:10 p.m.
Kirishima ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
*Removed emphasis from Kaminari ⚡︎ ⋆.˚ message*
Sent 11:10 p.m.
Kacchan! ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)💢
If any of you idiots miss the flight and ruin the trip for Mina, I will personally kill you.
Sent 4:08 a.m.
Mina ☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★🛸
*Emphasized Kacchan! ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡)💢 message*
Sent 5:45 a.m.
He guessed that answered his question. Kacchan must have left the apartment a couple of hours ago. Maybe he had an errand to run. Or, more likely, he knew Izuku had to get up early and wanted to avoid him. He had been a real ass last night, he knows that, but Kacchan is just so good at bringing that side out of him. The thought of someone elses hands on him, someone that didn't earn the right, it pissed him off. Any best friend would think that way. Kacchan hadn't seemed exactly thrilled by the idea of Izuku sleeping with people either, so it seemed perfectly normal that Izuku be upset too.
He should text him. Just another apology for making Kacchan uncomfortable and angry. He sighed to himself as the coffee finally poured from the machine and into his cup. He ran a hand down his chest and stomach as he thought about what to say. Sorry for being completely crazy because you didn't want to have a sleepover in my small bed at 25? God, he was a fucking wreck.
He pulled his phone out going back to the messages with Kacchan. When he opened the thread he was met with the picture Kacchan had last sent him. He craved for another one. Some sort of proof that Kacchan was home and okay.
Me
Hi Kacchan. I hope you made it home okay, I was worried. ˙◠˙
Sent 6:03 a.m.
I am sorry for being an asshole last night, I was just stressed out over the shirt (っ◞‸◟ c)
Sent 6:03 a.m.
Was that good enough? Izuku was so bad at these kind of things, especially with Kacchan. He had worked so hard his entire life to keep their relationship afloat. With everyone else it was so easy. Izuku drew people into him naturally, but with Kacchan it always felt like magnets with the same charge. Never getting too close, never pulling too far.
He left his phone as he went to get ready. Being paranoid by the vibration wasn't going to give him satisfaction any sooner. They would be forced to see eachother in a few days anyway, and surely they will have both calmed down by then. He took a deep breath before brushing his teeth. He did his usual routine of drinking too much coffee, forgetting to eat breakfast, and running out the door with his suit, briefcase, and clothes for school.
By the time he had arrived at the agency, Kacchan still hadn't answered.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
Izuku worked contractually. After he had started hero work again, close to a year ago, damn near every agency in Japan had given him an offer. Kachchan's agency, Ground Zero, included. This isn't why he dreamed of becoming a great hero, this wasn't the dream he was chasing. So rather than take the offer with the most zeros, or the agency that would skyrocket his ranking fastest, he had become a solo contractor, where he could work for all of them equally. Out of class A so far Kaminari, Jirou, Hagakure, Ochako, and Kacchan had all opened up their own agencies. Shouto was soon to take over Endeavours and Tenya took over his brothers a few yeas ago. Their class had divided and conquered joining their friends or going to other pro’s agencies. Sero and Shinsou both joined Kaminari’s, Shoji and Koda joined Jirou’s upon opening, Aoyama had helped Hagakure open hers but insisted she kept full rights, and Sato and Ojiro joined Ground zero recently. That left Mina and Momo, who co-owned Midnights old agency and were working on rebranding, Tsu who was under Gang Orca, Kirishima who owned a division of Fat-Gums, Tokoyami under Hawks, and Mineta with Wash.
Overall, he got to divide the work up pretty evenly and enjoyed getting to see the inner working of vastly different agencies. Today, he got the pleasure of being assigned to Kaminari’s agency with Sero and Shinsou. He had arrived, only a few minutes late, met with the bright and punkrock decor that was The Electric Agency. Cellophane and NightHide were both suited up in the lobby as they chatted with Chargebolt. Seeing Kaminari like this was special. In high school, and still now frankly, people had seen him as this goofy and unserious guy who didn't know much about being a lead. However, anyone in Class A knew different, especially Kacchan. He would never be such close friends with a failure.
Kaminari’s mother was a retired hero and everything he knew about running an agency came from her. He was calculating, smart, while at the same time being a becon of light and warmth for all civilians. This had gotten him in the top 50 of current hero rankings, and although Sero and Shinsou had likely grown out of being sidekicks they stayed at Electric because of the nature of Kaminari’s leadership.
Izuku threw open his briefcase, the suit instantly coming alive and forming itself on Izuku’s body in seconds. “Sorry I’m late!” He rushed to their side. Kaminari was brushing a piece of hair from Shinsou’s face as the purple-haired man tried to pretend to be annoyed by it.
Sero nudged him. “Thank god,” He laughed. “I was about to puke if I had to watch these to flirt any longer” He rolled his eyes.
Shinsou shoved him hard even if the tips of his ears turned pink. Kaminari laughed as he handed Izuku their route manual for this morning. “Should be an easy morning” He smiled at Izuku. “There was a big drug bust last night so the streets have been pretty quiet since” Izuku took the paper nodding eagerly.
“Let’s get a move on then” Shinsou pushed them forward.
Sero instantly released his tape and started swinging in the sky above them, searching for villains. “Stay safe babe!” he heard Kaminari yell from inside.
Shinsou scoffed with a small smile on his mouth as Izuku chuckled by his side. After only a few blocks, Sero landed back next to them with a thud. “Not seeing anything” he said contently. “Your boyfriend should be pleased” he teased Shinsou. “Yours too since his girls are only a few blocks from here” Izuku paused for a moment before realizing Sero was looking at him.
“Hu-huh?” He asked confused. “M-Mine?” Shinsou was giggling behind him.
“Don’t be an ass, Sero” Shinsou used his scarf to slap the other on the back of his legs.
Izuku looked between them confused. Did they think he was dating that dude from the bar? And what did his girls mean? “I-I don’t understand” He laughed awkwardly.
Shinsou nudged him, feeling bad for the teasing. “He’s just messing with you” He reassured. “Bakugou’s interns are patrolling down here today” he informed.
“Ah, okay” Izuku laughed nervously again. “W-Wait” his brain caught up to him. “ Boyfriend?” he felt his face turn to the brightest shade of red as he stumbled over his own train of thought.
Sero started laughing instantly. “Only a joke” He held up his hands. “Just playing into the whole shipping thing with the fans” Izuku didn't know why he felt like he had been caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. “That is unless you are dating” Sero stuck his tongue out in a grin.
Izuku instantly started explaining himself. “N-No! Nothing like that” He argued. “Kacchan has never really been into the relationship thing and I am so busy, that a relationship between the two of us would never work. Not that that’s why we're not dating, of course! Kacchan and me are just friends, and besides he barely tolerates me. I cant imagine what he would be like with me touching him all the time– Not that I have thought that far!” They both stared at him with raised eyebrows, as he relaized he had been blabbering for minutes like a lunatic. “W-What I mean, is no” He laughed a little. “Not boyfriends” He hurriedly took off again, taking the lead in their route.
“Right” Shinsou eventually said as the two caught up to him. “Anyway,” He sighed. “I do think it would be good for you two to start branching out in the dating world” He said firmly. “Even if that’s not with each other”
Izuku blushed by the nature of their conversation. “Haha, I don't know” He said stiffly. “I can't imagine someone that would meet Kacchan’s standards” He smiled. He didn't like the thought of Kacchan settling for some nobody that didn't appreciate what he has gone through.
“I can” Sero laughed.
Shinsou chuckled before hitting him on the arm again. Izuku looked at the tape hero with daggers. “ Who” He demanded, in a much sharper tone than he meant.
Sero smirked at the other before finally meeting Izuku’s eyes. “Careful man” He let his tape release again, latching onto a nearby building. “Your ‘ give him back’ is showing” he winked before he was zooming through the air again.
Izuku let out a sound of annoyance. He was tired of all their friends talking in some kind of code about Kacchan and their love lives. Love lives that were completely separate and had nothing to do with the other, by the way! He turned to Shinsou. “What the hell was that supposed to mean?” He asked frustratingly.
Shinsou was looking past him, already throwing his own scarf to a lamp post above them. “You’ll get there eventually,” He said quickly. “Right now we have trouble” He took off also.
Izuku looked up to see Sero tackling a villain holding a woman’s purse. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He would have to look at that later.
✵ Katsuki ✵
Pfft.
No, Katsuki had not answered Izuku’s message right away.
He had proof of life from the texts he had sent in the wedding groupchat and frankly, Katsuki wanted Izuku to know he was upset about the whole thing. What right did he have to say those things to Katuski, treat him like he was some kind of slut for wanting to be more open on this trip. Well, he hadn't really wanted to do anything, that much was probably obvious. But still! Who was that fucking twerp to think he had some kind of ownership over Katsuki’s sexual life.
That’s why, when he recieved a text message from the nerd at 6:03 a.m. he made sure and waited until exactly 7:03 a.m. to answer him.
Ha.
Nerd
Hi Kacchan. I hope you made it home okay, I was worried. ˙◠˙
Sent 6:03 a.m.
I am sorry for being an asshole last night, I was just stressed out over the shirt (っ◞‸◟ c)
Sent 6:03 a.m
Me
*Replied to
– Hi Kacchan. I hope you made it home okay, I was worried. ˙◠˙– *
Had to feed my cat.
Sent 7:03 a.m.
He smiled smuggly at his phone. He wasn't even going to acknowledge that the nerd had apologized. Two can play at this little hateful game. Katsuki tried not to let it bother his ego when he never received a text message back.
And he definitely wasn't upset when the night before the trip came and he still hadn't heard from him.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
He woke up extremely early and extremely anxious. It was 3:15 in the morning and he wanted to be at the airport in 45 minutes for their flight at six. He had been panicking since last night that someone would miss the flight. He had drilled it through their thick skulls over and over again that they needed to be on time and that if they missed it there wasn't another flight open for two days. Mina would be pissed if someone showed up late, or worse missed it entirely. It would completely throw off pictures and maybe even ruin the whole trip, and all the pressure would land on his shoulders.
His alarm finally went off at 3:30.
He rose out of bed with no problem, seeing as he has been up for hours staring at the ceiling. There were the dweebs who decided to go out last night, if they were too drunk to fly Katsuki was gonna kick their asses. Then there were the handful of people who lived further away like Nejire and Camie. And then, there was the one he was most worried about. The one who was almost never on time and almost never had everything he needed. He had told him he would help him pack but then after their little fight they hadn't talked, and now he didn't even know if he was awake.
Would it be weird to text him?
The last text he sent had been an avoidance of his apology and the text before that had been his half naked selfie with his cat. Would Izuku even answer? Well for one, no, if Izuku was still asleep he sure as hell wouldn’t hear the small vibration of his cracked and chattered phone. Maybe he could text Kaminari. They lived really close. Or even Uraraka.
But isn't that weirder?
Hey, i’m texting you asking if you could please text Izuku. We got into a fight and I'm not really sure why were both being so stubborn, but after 25 years you just get used to the morally grey area in which your friendship lies. Thanks.
He sighed, pulling his already packed suitcase to the door with him. He had driven himself and Todoroki to Iida’s mansion last night to drop off their cats. Todoroki had made a whole deal of setting up the stupid security system before they left and he had been annoyed about it until it came time to sleep and suddenly the lack of the cat purring on his chest felt empty. It was equally jarring to not have Tofu wrapping herself around his legs as he left.
He put the hood of his grey sweatsuit up as he made his way to his car. The thought of his porsche being left to sit in the airport stressed him out, but the thought of leaving it in the parking lot of his sketchy apartment was worse, so Haneda Airport it is.
He threw his suitcase in the back and took a deep breath. Everything, and everyone would be fine. They'd all be there on time and things would flow smoothly. The thought of Izuku passed out in his bed, half dressed, with an empty suitcase crossed his mind briefly. If Izuku misses the flight, he misses the flight. That’s that.
He drove a block before the image was the only thing filling his mind. He would probably cry. Sob, actually. Izuku hated letting people down.
He let out a frustrated noise as he pulled his phone out of his hoodie pocket.
He stared at the name
Nerd
He went back and forth for a few agonizing seconds before hitting the call button at the top of the screen.
It only rang twice before the line was picked up.
“Kacchan?!” Izuku’s voice rang in his ear, filled with worry. Katsuki realized he was wordless. His jaw hung open as he heard Izuku’s voice for the first time in 77 hours. Not that he was counting. “ Are you okay?!” he asked again when Katsuki still hadn't answered. Katsuki could hear the sound of the transit in the background. Izuku was awake and heading where he needed to be going and hopefully had at least the shirt that he had tried on Sunday night.
Katsuki slammed the red hang up button. Good enough. He had probably freaked out the nerd, but he would see him in a few minutes and honestly he deserved it. He drove the rest of the short drive in silence, so lost in his own thoughts he hadn't realized that he hadn't put in his hearing aids yet. The dull sounds around him fit in with the sky that was still dark in the early morning.
He pulled his bag from the trunk and pushed his way into the empty airport. His eyes first locked on bright yellow hair already making its way through security. He took a breath of relief. If Kaminari had somehow found his way here then he had likely corralled any other idiot that was with him. Security was always fast for the heroes, since they were well-known and beloved by the country, and before they knew it all 16 of them were sat and waiting on boarding. He had already locked eyes with Izuku’s dozens of times since being here. It was like everytime he looked up those beady green things were already looking at him, worried. Ugh. He hated when he felt bad. He used to be able to push Izuku away and not feel a damn thing about it.
A couple people started moving around him as if they had heard an announcement, they grabbed their bags and started excitingly moving. Katsuki just continued to play on his phone as he watched through his peripheral vision. Then, suddenly there was a pressure at the side of his arm. He didn't have to look up to know it was the weight of Izuku. He put his phone down in his lap, prepared to chew the man out, tell him to get out of his space. Instead, his lips shut as Izuku began to rummage through the bag at his feet. Katsuki’s bag to be precise. He watched in awe for a few seconds before realizing he should definitely be swatting his hands away. Izuku grabbed his wrist before it could make contact with Izuku’s searching hand. Finally, Katsuki’s ears turned pink as Izuku held what he was looking for.
Katsuki’s hearing aids.
No, wonder no one was talking to him. He means, they probably were, he just couldn't hear jack shit! Katsuki was so dumbfounded by his own slip-up that he didn't have time before Izuku started putting them in Katsuki’s ear for him. He held Katsuki’s nape casually as he adjusted it. Katsuki’s hands stayed useless and dumb in his lap as he was so thrown off by the last several minutes of his life. Eventually Izuku’s hands moved down to his jaw so he could use both of his pointer fingers to turn the devices on. Katsuki flinched as the loud sound of the airport began to fill his ears, still voiceless from embarassment. How was Izuku so okay with touching others like that.
You forgot. Izuku signed in front of him. He knew Katsuki liked to slowly adjust and still wouldn't like hearing people talk for a few minutes. We board next. Katsuki gave him a curt nod as he found some excuse to go and talk to Eijiro. In all honestly, he was trying to figure out why he couldn't quit his body from burning up. The embarrassment had found itself in all the places Izuku had touched. A tingle on his neck, a burning in his jaw. He rubbed his face as they all boarded the plane.
And this is where the most bitching and moaning had come from. Yes, they were famous heroes who got paid well, but they were also still starting up agencies and still recovering from funding Izuku’s suit, so they weren't exactly rich. This meant that they couldn't afford to pick their seats and were left with a bunch of random ones, next to strangers. It was only a three hour flight, not a big deal, but to this bunch it was all he heard about as they boarded. He sat down next to some mom and her whiny kid as he instantly lowered his hearing aids again. One of the few pro’s of shitty ears.
Izuku sat a couple rows in front of him on the opposite side. He watched the boy adjust and readjust up until the very moment the plane began to take off. He was fidgety and as the plane leveled in the air he grip was white on the armrest next to him. There was no way the nerd was scared of flying of all things. Out of everything they had been through he was going to be defeated by Japan Airlines?
He pulled out his phone, luckily connected to the free wifi. He was annoyed by his lack of will to stay mad at the other. Maybe he could look at the whole hearing aid thing as a peace offering. This was just him doing his part.
Me
If you grip that seat any harder its going to come clean off
Sent 6:12 a.m.
He watched as Izuku shakily brought out his phone to find the culprit of the vibration. His eyes went wide before turning to see Katsuki looking at him with raised eyebrows.
What’s wrong . He signed clearly this time since he could see from here that Izuku’s eyes were likely blurry with tears. Instead of responding, Izuku just shook his head like he didnt want to answer. Just in time the seatbelt light turned off with a familiar ringing noise. He was up before he could rationally think of his next move. Izuku nearly jumped out of his seat when Katsuki appeared next to him.
Izuku looked around anxiously. “Kacchan!” He spat out. “You should sit down, this is dangerous!” His grip was equally as tight on the armrest still, as he looked around paranoid.
“Okay” Katsuki shrugged. He looked at the man who was sitting in the middle seat next to Izuku. He was playing sudoku and looked relatively annoyed by Izuku’s panicking. “Hey you” He leaned over Izuku to get into the others space.
Izuku grabbed his torso, trying to pull Katsuki away in embarrassment. “ Kacchan” He said through his teeth.
The man looked up at Katsuki with only mild annoyance. Katsuki could see the moment the man recognized him as the number five hero Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. There we go. “Would you mind switching seats with me” He pointed to his empty one. “I need to talk to worlds greatest hero, Deku, for second” He smiled the best he could at the fan. He watched the man lock eyes with Izuku and realize who was was sitting next to for the first time.
He jumped up immediately as Katsuki retrieved his bag for him, handing it to him as he bowed multiple times before leaving them. Katsuki then climbed over Izuku, not trying to be gentle as they bumped together, and then slammed himself into the new chair. Izuku ran his hands over his face. “Kaccccchan” He groaned. “You know I hate when you give me that title” He complained.
“I know” Katsuki laughed to himself. If he was going to be nice by calming Izuku down, the least he could do was be a little shit about it. “So, now” He looked at the other. “Please don't tell me you're actually scared of flying? ” He watched Izuku’s eyes leave his and find the floor instead.
Katsuki adjusted so that he could share the arm rest with Izuku, their elbows barely grazing each other. “I-I don't love it” He admitted. “I don't do it very often” He tried to argue.
Katsuki scoffed. “That’s crazy” He laughed sarcatsically. “I seem to see you flying around on my TV everytime I turn the shitty thing on” He nudged him a little.
This at least got Izuku to give a half smile as his death grip relaxed a morsal. “It’s different” He shrugged. “I’m in control when I fly” He sighed.
Katsuki didn't have much of an argument for that. He wasn't wrong. He knew Izuku struggled to feel like he had no way of saving a situation. He hated when he couldn't be responsible for everyone's actions in the room. “The pilot knows what he is doing” Is all he could respond with.
Izuku sighed again, this time shaky and wet. Katsuki instantly started panicking himself. He had come here to help him feel better, not to make him cry more. “Kacchans’ gonna be mad if I tell him why it scares me” He answered in a small voice.
Katsuki’s resolve immediately shattered. Any anger he had felt in the past few days or annoyance with the other, completely dissolved as he watched the man be hurt. “No he won’t- I mean no I won’t” He cursed himself for stupidly following Izuku’s use of Kacchan in the third person. This kid really made him the grossest version of himself. “Spit it out” He hit their arms together.
Izuku sighed, putting his head low. “Last time I was in something flying, Kacchan died” He admitted. Katsuki felt his heart monitor increase rapidly at the thought. That was something he hadn't even thought about. He stared at him, lost for words as his palmm instantly began to sweat. Izuku looked up finally. “I’m sorry” he looked defeated. “It’s not fair of me to bring it up-”
“You have to stop thinking like that” He cut him off. Izuku seemed to always find away to let himself be ate up by the pain Katsuki had gone through. Katsuki didn't even think about the feeling of his heart exploding as much as Izuku did. “It was almost 10 years ago” he sighed. “I’m not going anywhere” He reassured. In a moment of bravery he slowly lifted his arm to wrap around the others back.
Izuku looked shocked for only a few seconds before excepting the warmth and relaxing into it. “Kacchan went somewhere the past three days ” He mumbled.
Katsuki went to pull back in shock before Izuku grabbed his arm, not letting it leave. “You seriously wanna talk about that now?” He hissed. “You wanna talk about why I didn't talk to you?” He rephrased.
Izuku kept his death grip on his arm. “ No ” He mumbled. Katsuki relaxed again, not loving the physical touch, but it didn't seem like Izuku was letting it end anytime soon. And if it was calming the nerd down then he guessed it was worth it. “I am sorry though” He finally said again. “Thank you for coming over here” He said before he had the audacity to burrow further into Katsuki’s side.
Katsuki had to look away as he felt heat crawling up his neck. “You make it really hard to be nice to you sometimes” He complained without moving.
“Kacchan’s warm” Izuku replied completely unrelated as Katsuki watched his eyes already closing. The idiot had gone from completely freaking out, to lullying himself to sleep in minutes.
Katsuki would complain if he didn't know that he was the reason for Izuku’s calmness. He bit his lip to refrain himself from smiling as Izuku slowly feel asleep against his shoulder.
He had stayed like that the entire flight. Peacefully sleeping and unaware of anyone else. Katsuki would've done the same, if he could get his damn heart monitor under control. Izuku’s fear of him dying must have affected him more than he thought, as it kept spiking everytime Izuku would toss or turn in his arms.
He nearly threw himself off as the plane landed. Izuku fell to his side of the seat as he maneuvered his way around him. They were towards the front of the plane so they really needed to get a move on. He reached for his own suitcase before going to retrieve Izuku’s too. The boy had drool running down his face and both his arms were still limp at his sides. By now, people are starting to shove Katsuki out of the way so they can exit the plane before him. “ Izuku” He hissed, hoping that was enough to wake him up.
The boy stirred a little at his name. “ Kacchan?” He mumbled back groggily.
He shifted a little but remained with his eyes closed. He wiped the spit off the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand in a sleepy haze.
Cute.
What?
No, gross. Spit is gross. Izuku’s spit is even grosser. Ugh, he must really need some sleep. There is no way for a moment he thought that Izuku actually might look cute in his sleep. Ew, that made him nauseous. Actually, no, it made him angry. He was falling for the same stupid charisma trap that everyone else did, for some reason. Acting a little aggressively, he decided to kick Izuku’s shin in the means of waking him. Izuku bolted up, grabbing his leg. “ Ow” he hissed. “Kacchan?” He looked up at him confused before he noticed that everyone was leaving the plane now. “Oh! Sorry” He hurriedly stood up, apologizing to the women still trapped behind him.
Katsuki rolled his eyes, scared to let any words travel out of his tired mouth right now. He continued pulling Izuku’s suitcase from the compartment above them. An insistent jingling and rattling was coming from it. When he pulled it down he was horrified to see the trainwreck that was Izuku’s duffle bag. From top to bottom the entire thing was covered in keychains or plushies or pins of different hereo’s and their merch. “What the hell?” he looked at it disgusted, although he did make sure he spotted the small plushie of himself on the top zipper before shoving it in Izuku’s arms.
Izuku glared at him for handling his prize possession so aggressively. “They’re collectables!” He argued, pulling it over his back as the woman behind him had to physically step back to avoid being hit with the Dark Shadow plushie.
Katsuki felt humiliated to be seen with him. Every step he took Mr. Bells and Jingles followed him. Katsuki had at least brought a hat and glasses so they could possibly make it out of the airport without being noticed, and Izuku was practically holding a neon sign that said Look at us! He roughly turned towards him once they had made it into the lobby. “You are twenty five years old wearing stuffed animals on your neon yellow duffle bag” He hissed, looking around to make sure no one noticed them.
Izuku just stuck his tongue out as they waited on the others. The hotel was only a couple blocks from the airport so they could easily walk. Once he had a head count for everyone, they took off. Katsuki remained relatively to himself as the others oo’d and awe’d at the palm trees and tourist spots around them. Once he made sure everyone was checked in, he would be able to go to his room and breath for a second. Okinawa was still pretty hot for early fall. It had been about 23 degrees when they had landed this morning. Now walking together in their sweats and sweatshirts was bordering on miserable.
“I don't know how much longer I can take this heat” Mina complained as she fanned her pink arms in front of her.
Uraraka had pried everything but her undershirt off. “I don't remember what its like to not feel sweat dripping down my back” She agreed.
Todoroki and Asui were both laughing together at the lack of sweat they had compared ot their friends. Todoroki was of course using his quirk while Asui never sweat because of her frog like abilites. Yaoyorozu kept passing him wipes as she made them, so he could remove the access nitroglycerin building up on his palms. The last thing they needed right now is for Katsuki to accidentally set the hotel into a fit of explosions.
The only one not dragging their feet was Izuku. He was still a ball of sunshine as he practically skipped ahead of them. To add on to his atrocity that was the backpack situation, he now also had a Froppy bucket hat on, making him look like a damn frog. This was who Katsuki chose as his best friend and lifelong hero partner? He sighed a breath of relief as they all stepped into the cool lobby of the resort.
Talking to the front desk woman was quick and painless, and he soon had the nine hotel room keys in his hands. He handed them out to his friends as he quickly explained they wouldn't have hotel cleaning services until Saturday night and that they all need to be back down in the lobby by 4 p.m. this afternoon. A few of them stayed in the lobby while others hurried to the room to put down their things. He sat down on one of the benches as he dug out his laptop. Before he got to his room, he wanted to make sure the photographer was still good to come and then he could finally relax.
He watched as a couple of the heros found a ping pong table that the started loudly playing at. He saw Sero walk up behind Todoroki and gently lay a chin on his shoulder. Todoroki turned around with a gentle smile, Sero quickly pecking at the pale cheek while he had it. He still wasn't used to seeing the awkward kid he grew up with turn into such a softie and relationship man. He knew it was hard for him. He hadn't grown up in a household that showed him what love was. He accredited Izuku, like many others did, for showing them how he could still have that.
It was almost weird how Izuku could spread so much love through life and leave himself with none. Katsuki hadn't found it odd until recently, when he realized almost everyone was beginning to pair off. They were getting older, moving past the casual dating stage and into marriage. This wedding would only be the first of many. He couldn't seem to look away as he watched the boys speak quietly, where only the two of them could hear. Would that be nice? Would it be nice to come home to a person and have them know you inside and out? Would Katsuki ever feel like he had the willpower to open himself up for another person like that? The only person he could confidently say knew who he truly was, was Izuku.
His mind stopped briefly. Why had his thoughts drifted towards him? It was like everything drifted back towards him. If Katsuki spent all of his energy trying to perfect their friendship then he would never find time to try and date. And then what would happen if that person rejected him eventually? They would leave him when his days became too dark or his body hurt too bad. They would leave when the missions went too long or his attitude became too sharp. The only person who had ever stuck through his lowest of lows was-
A high pitched noise echoed through his hearing aids as he slapped away the culprits weapons. “ Ow, Mimi” He glared as Jirou took a seat next to him. Out of all the nicknames he had slowly grown out of through the years Mimi was just one that stuck. Mostly because he felt fine making fun of her ears since his weren’t any better and partially because she still called him-
“Blasty” She nodded at him with a shit-eating grin. “Watcha looking at?” She peered over his shoulder and onto his laptop.
“Shove off” He scooted over so they weren't as close anymore. “And I told you to stop fucking with my hearing aids” He demanded.
She just laughed at him. “Yeah, yeah, you say a lot of things” She chuckled to herself. Katsuki pulled up his email, skimming through where the photographer said they would meet the group later. “So are we going to talk about how that woman is completely oogling over Midoriya over there, or are you too busy?” She asked in a calm tone.
Katsuki’s eyes instantly shot up, finding Izuku back at the front desk where he had just gotten their keys. It looked like the nerd had gone to his room and decided he needed more towels than they had already supplied. He had two fresh ones tucked under his arm as he nodded gently along to whatever the woman was talking about. Jirou was right, she was totally fawning for the hero. “Pfft” He looked back down at his laptop, not loving the swirling feeling happening in his stomach. He should probably find a bite to eat soon. “She didn't seem that interested in talking to me earlier” He mumbled under his breath.
Jirou laughed as she continued to watch the two. “Well, number one, she was all over you too” She corrected. “In all honesty, Midoriya is probably just over there right now to make sure she doesn't come up to you ” Before he could ask questions about that, she continued. “Number two, you are literally the gayest person i’ve ever seen” She paused waiting for him to argue to which he pointedly did not. “And third, you only really seem to notice people flirting when it’s happening to Midoriya” She raised her eyebrows.
He glared at her. “Now that's not true” He defended. “I knew you wanted all up in Yao-”
“Okay, okay” She squashed him. “I get it” He smirked at his victory. “I’m just saying, there might be a reason you’re so sensitive to who can and can't talk to your friend over there” She pointed to where Izuku was now the one speaking to the woman.
Katsuki looked at her confused. “Listen, you just don't understand,” He argued. “Growing up he didn't get attention, and when he did it was bad” Memories flashed to their childhood. “I would know” He said a bit softer. “He just doesn’t always know what's good for himself, and he hardly ever puts his own feelings first” He noticed how Jirou’s snarky face had slowly dissolved into a soft and curious one. “I just…” he trailed off as he watched izuku turn around to show the woman his damn backpack . “Like this!” He pointed, already standing up “Chicks making fun of his shitty bag” He didn’t listen for Jirou’s answer as he made his way to the front desk.
He stomped his way over, not totally sure on what he was supposed to do when he got there. As he approached Izuku and the woman both turned to look at him. “Can I help you?” She asked, a little concern in her voice.
“I need towels too” He spat out the first thing that came to mind.
“Oh! Of course Dynamight-san!” She went to retrieve them from below her desk. Of course she knew who they were, that’s why she was practically all up in Izuku’s space right now.
“Kacchan!” Izuku smiled. “Are you planning on going to the pool later, too?” He leaned his chin on his hand in front of him. Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at him for a beat too long.
“Here you go, sir” She said somewhat dismissively, as she gave him the towels. Rather than leaving, Katsuki awkwardly leaned on the desk as Izuku was. He tried to act nonchalant as he felt both pairs of eyes on him. “Did you need something else Dynamight-san?” She asked a little less politely.
He shot his eyebrows up at her. “What I can’t join the conversation?” He asked annoyed. “I didn’t realize you and Izuku were having such a private talk” He huffed.
“Of course you can join!” Izuku grabbed his arm. He also didn’t miss how the woman tensed up at the lack of privacy they now had. “I was just about to tell Mori-san about my keychains!” He turned around to show the monstrosity again.
He tried not to roll his eyes at the way Izuku had already learned the woman’s name either. “Ah, right” Mori looked a little displeased at where the conversation was going. Clearly her intentions were less interested in Izuku’s awesome and totally sexy bag and more interested in his awesome and totally sexy biceps. Katsuki clicked his tongue at his own train of thought. Just as Izuku began describing the Edgeshot pin, she cut him off again. “Actually, Izuku” Katsuki shot his eyebrows up. Izuku? “I was more curious if you would want to” She started blushing profusely. “Maybe exchange cell-”
“Let him explain the damn keychains” Katsuki accidentally spat out at her.
Izuku looked at both of them embarrassed. “Oh-Oh it’s okay” he laughed, clearly self-conscious now. “Kacchan tried to warn me that it was embarrassing I had so many-”
Katsuki cut him off again. “You know they’re collectables right?” He asked the woman, who was so deeply uncomfortable at this point that even Katsuki was starting to feel bad. “ Tsk” He glared at her when she didn't answer. “Let’s go, this woman clearly doesn't know what she’s talking about” Katsuki grabbed Izuku by, said bag, that he now had grown a deeper appreciation for, and took them away from the desk chick.
“ Kacchan!” Izuku growled once they were alone in the hallway. “That was rude ” He reprimanded.
Katsuki rolled his eyes. “She was the one making fun of your nerd shit!” He yelled back.
Izuku groaned. “You were making fun of that same nerd shit an hour ago!” He tossed out his hands.
“Yeah well” Katsuki tried to find words that would declare him victorious in this moment. “I wasn't trying to get in your pants” He nodded in satisfaction.
Izuku turned bright red. “T-Thats n-not what she was trying-”
“Oh give me a break,” Katsuki sighed. “She was about to ask for your cellphone number” He looked at him annoyed.
Izuku looked at the ground like he had been caught. “That didn't mean she wanted i-in my pants. ” Katsuki enjoyed how hard it was for him to spit out. “Maybe it was for emergencies!” He held his hand out again.
“You are so insufferable” he shoved his arm lightly as he took the bag off Izuku and slung it around his own shoulder. “Let’s go set this thing in your room before it becomes the center of attention again” He pulled his own suitcase behind himself.
Izuku sighed, but Katsuki could feel the moment a small smile appeared on the others lips. Just when they arrived to the door Izuku asked, “Does Kacchan really like my bag?” His small grin had turned into an evil and ornery one.
Katsuki couldn't look too long at the face or he knew he would let his guard down and smile back. “Kacchan’s gonna blow the damn door down if you don't open it” He retored back.
Maybe there was a little more going on than he thought.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku did end up hitting the pool for a bit. He met up with Ochako and Tsu as they let themselves lounge out in the comfy beach chairs. Ochako had been quiet on the trip so far. She hadn't been her usual self at all lately. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she was maid of honor and had a lot of pressure on her shoulders, or maybe she was stressed out about her work back home. Izuku watched as she stared up at the sky, her pink two piece seeming out of place in her demeanor.
They had been here for over an hour, and would need to head back to their rooms soon to get ready pictures and then dinner. He waved as he recognized Kaminari and Kirishima packing up their own belongings from the other side of the pool. “We should probably head in too” He told the girls on either side of him.
Tsu instantly started packing up her book and towel. “Even I'm getting hot, kero” She sighed. “Hopefully its cooler tonight for pictures” Izuku nodded in agreement as he packed up his sunscreen and manga volume.
He looked over to see Ochako still hadn't moved from her spot. “Ochako?” He asked worried. “You coming?” He watched her jump as she realized she was being talked to.
She hurriedly sat up and took the sunglasses off her red nose. “Oh!” She gave him a fake smile. “Sorry! Totally lost in thought” She tried to giggle. Izuku could see right through her.
He grabbed his bag as both girls waited for him to stand. They took off, making their way back to their rooms. Izuku watched the smile Ochako had so desperately tried to keep on fade more and more as they got closer to their destination. When they got into the elevator they pushed the 2nd, 4th, and 5th floor buttons as they waited for it to take them up. Tsu was the first one to exit with a small wave and a see you later, kero.
The air became quiet as it left the two of them. “Is everything okay, Ochako?” Izuku asked gently. A small ding rang as they reached the third floor.
She raised her eyebrows at him with another smile. “Of course!” She showed her teeth. “Just tired from travel maybe?” She gave an awkward laugh. Another ding. “Oh! This is me” She pointed as the doors opened. “See you in a bit!”
“Wait, Ochako-” It was too late as the doors came to a close. Izuku hated seeing his friends hurting. He hated when he could tell something was wrong but didn't know exactly how to fix it. He wanted to take every burden off everyone's shoulders, even if it meant he was carrying them alone. He was no stranger to trauma. He knew sometimes it worked mysteriously. Maybe there was something about the trip that was reminding Ochako of something else. Maybe eventually, he would be able to console her.
Another ding awoke him from his thoughts as he stepped onto the fifth floor. He was still anxious about sharing close proximity to Monoma. He trusted when Kacchan said he had changed, but he still felt an annoyance when he look at they mans face. He pushed the door open with his key card, grateful to see that Monoma was still in the shower. He moved to his bag to lay out the clothes for the evening. Black slacks and the green striped shirt, simple enough. They were getting dinner and then pictures and then agreed to stop by the hotel and change before they went and hit the bars.
Izuku secretly hoped for an early end to the night so he could take advantage of the hot tub Kacchan had talked about. Maybe Kacchan would even consider joining him… The bathroom door flung open as steam poured from behind Monoma. “Ah, your back” He smiled, towel wrapped around his torso. “Shower is all yours” He gestured behind him.
Izuku tried not to visibly roll his eyes, as he knew there would be zero hot water left. “Thanks” He smiled instead. “I’ll be quick”. And that part wasn't a lie, because Izuku had about zero routine when getting ready. He quickly washed off the salt and sweat, decided to brush his teeth again since he hadn't since the crack of dawn this morning, ran a hand through his wet hair, and called it a day. Ochako always joked with him that he was a ‘ lukcy bastard’ in the sense that he didn't have to do much to look presentable. Izuku had always been told growing up that he was plain, even ugly by some of the meaner kids at school. Getting the attention he did from people now was unusual for him. He had worked on his body until it was perfected, the scars added character, he grew into his big eyes and messy hair.
But deep inside he was still the same, strange boy.
He walked out to see Monoma already wearing his bright pink silk shirt and tan khakis. If anyone were to be assigned the brightest and loudest color, Camie and Monoma were the perfect duo to take it on. Izuku silently thanked Kacchan for giving him a color he could work with. “Well don't you clean up nice?” Monoma teased as he doused himself in thick cologne.
Izuku tried to hold back his cough as he answered. “Didn’t do much” He shrugged. “And this is Kacchan's shirt so..” He looked down at where it lied in his hands still, only the undershirt on him for now.
Monoma snickered. “You're at the ‘Sharing clothes’ stage so soon?” He laughed.
Izuku looked at him confused. “We have always shared clothes” He snapped back. “I don't own very many dress shirts” He tried to defend. He wasn't really sure why the man made him feel so defensive all the time. It was instinctual to protect he and Kacchan's friendship from the other.
“Only teasing” He held his hands up. “I will say this” he looked at Izuku up and down. “Katsuki doesn't always understand that he is giving far more than he can take” He moved closer to Izuku, deadly serious. “He is a man of promises that he doesn't break” Izuku’s eyes widened as Monoma came to Kacchan’s defense. “Whatever it is that you feel towards him, indifference, friendship, regret” He went on. “Figure it out and clear the air between the two of you” He moved backwards, moving towards the mirror to fix his hair. “He has given too much to you for you to turn around and hurt him” He ended with. Before Izuku could get a word in he turned arond with a smile, a completely different person than moment before. “I’m gonna head out a little early” He grinned.
Izuku moved towards the door a little stunned. “Sure” He finally answered.
What did Monoma understand about them that they didn't?
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
Heading to Kacchans room after feeling like he was threatened about something he didn't understand, felt weird. He was suddenly nervous to see his best friend. Worried about being in a room alone with him. That was something he can't remember ever feeling. He clutched his chest as the phantom blackwhip begged to burst out. By the time he was knocking on the mans door, he was breathless and sweating.
And it sure as hell didn't help when Kacchan opened the door.
He pulled it open, already knowing who was waiting on the other side. He had a small smirk on his face as he welcomed Izuku in. Izuku couldn't move from the door. He was too stunned by the way that Kacchan looked in this moment. He and Ochako were both to wear red, and Izuku wasn't sure there was a color that suited the handsome man more. The shirt was tight, even around his small waist. It was a dark red, far darker than his eyes that seemed to pop off his face as they watched Izuku. The shirt had even darker, boarding black flowers covering the spread on the entire shirt. As Izuku eyes drifted further, he was meet with slacks similar to Izukus that somehow fit so much better than he had ever seen pants fit someone.
“Are you just gonna stand there half naked in the hall way or actually come in?” Kacchan asked annoyed.
Izuku snapped his open jaw shut and forced his legs to move forward. No matter how harsh Kacchan's words were, the flush behind his neck was telling Izuku he was embarrassed by the attention. “S-Sorry” He apologized laying the shirt on the back of the chair next to the door. “I guess I just havent seen you all dressed up since the Hero Awards back in February” He tried to keep his eyes from wondering. Usually he wasn't effected like this. Sure, Kacchan was exceptionally attractive, and had only grown even more into his natural good looks, but Izuku was having a hard time focusing, and that was new.
He watched Kacchan look up, eyes lingering only a bit on his chest and arms before meeting his eyes. “Yeah, well” he cleared his throat. “Shits uncomfortable" He tugged at his shirt. “I’m ready to get this shit over with” Izuku relaxed his shoulders, glad he hadn't gotten in too much trouble for practically salivating over his best friend. Platonic best friend he felt the need to remind himself. Kacchan was uncomfortable with romance or flirting so he needed to reel in whatever weird sense of allusiveness he was feeling towards the man right now. “Gimme” Kacchan said motioning his hands towards Izuku’s shirt.
Izuku moved to pick it up and handed it to the other, their fingers lightly brushing as they met halfway. Izuku felt the breath get stuck in the back of his throat as Kacchan moved closer. Kacchan made quick work of throwing the shirt around his shoulders, allowing Izuku to slip his arms in quickly. Rather than bend down like last time. Kacchan took the liberty of sitting in the chair behind him. From this angle, Izuku felt big, Kacchan sitting underneath him, fingers already working at the bottom few buttons. His head was right at Izuku’s stomach as his fingers grazed up and down Izuku’s torso. He hadn't felt like this before. He hadn't felt the need to just reach out and touch what was in front of him. His self control was something he was proud of but right now he could feel it slipping away.
A problem he had dealt with his entire life?: His body seemed to move on its own.
That's why he saw, just as surprised as the next, when his scarred hand reached up and carded itself through Kacchan's smooth hair. He froze. Kacchan's fingers stopped. The air around them seemed to freeze to ice. Kacchan slowly looked up as Izuku pulled his hand back quickly. Kacchan's lips parted open as his pupils were blown wide, likely even more shocked by Izuku’s action than Izuku was. “Sorry!” Izuku frantically stepped back, shirt only half-buttoned still. “You had something in your hair!” He could feel his face ablaze. What was wrong with him!?!?!?
Kacchan rubbed a hand through the same path Izuku had just taken, feeling for the culprit item Izuku was trying to rid his blonde locks of. “Did you get it?” He asked a little voiceless.
“Yep!” Izuku answered quickly. “Oh wow, its almost time to go!” He looked down at his Phantom Theif watch. “Can you finish buttoning me in the elevator?” He asked, voice wild and frantic.
Kacchan grabbed his wallet and jacket from the bed. “Sure..” He sounded unsettled. Way to go Izuku. He internally cussed at himself. He always made Kacchan so uncomfortable.
He needed out of this room. He needed to not be alone with this man. He needed them both to be fully dressed and in front of their other friends and far far away from each other. What on earth was happening? Was he just abnormally horny to the point of exploding under the pressure of Kacchan's finger tips? Maybe he was the one that really needed to get laid on this trip. Get whatever this drug was out of his system.
Just as promised, Kacchan finished buttoning him up in the elevator, some how Izuku keeps it together, and then finally the are in the lobby with eye witnesses and cool air. Kacchan hasn't spoke much since Izuku invasively put his hands on him earlier. Izuku thinks about speaking up, maybe apologizing for the hundredth time this week, when a gaggle of their friends all pile out of the elevator. Momo looks stunning in her shiny green dress, but Izuku can confidently say his outfit is right to par with hers, thanks to Kacchan. Ochako and Kacchan both look stunning together in her dark red dress with matching flowers to his shirt. Of course he had his mom make something for him, Izuku should have guessed that. Jirou’s orange skirt matched Kaminari’s orange vest, Sero and Tsu both have on long yellow pants with different pale yellow tops, Shouto is wearing a short sleeve blue button up that matches as closely as possible to Hagakure shiny bedazzled floor length dress (hopefully the photographer can show her), Shinsou’s hair matches the long purple pants that match Nejire’s long purple skirt, and finally Monoma and Camie are both pink and stunning from head to toe.
Izuku watched Kacchan’s eyes scan over everyone, silently taking note of any emergencies he would have to take care of. Izuku wonders if he packed a bunch of extra clothes like he did for Izuku incase someones outfit didn't quite fit in with the rest.
As everyone chatted, the were instantly stopped when the waiting couple made their way into the lobby together. Izuku stupidly felt tears behind his eyes as the two adorned in white made their way over hand-in-hand. Mina’s short white babydoll dress rested elegantly on her pink skin. Kirishima wore a smooth white suit as he couldn't keep his eyes off his future wife. Izuku realized for the first time that this was something he longed for. To be able to look at someone like that, have them all to yourself. He sniffled, desperately sucking the sneaky tears away.
Kacchan moved from his side to walk up to them, pride written all over his face. Kacchan had quickly made friends with Kirishima during their first year. Although it came out eventually that Izuku didn't have many friends growing up, and the one he did have turned on him too, it hadn't ever really come out that Kacchan never had friends either. From the moment his quirk developed, people held him on this pedestal. Even teachers treated him differently than the other students. They knew he was predestined for greatness and they were already treating him like a pro-hero by the time he entered middle school. He had a group of guys that would follow him around everywhere, tell him how amazing he was all the time, constantly ask him if they could still be friends when he got into UA. To any outsider, it would look like Kacchan enjoyed the attention, to Izuku, who really knew him, he knew he hated it. It was one of the reasons he had distanced himself from Izuku, became his bully.
He felt like he had to be great, he had to succeed, he couldn't let someone quirkless like Izuku drag him down. That doesn't mean it didn't completely shatter Izuku's heart when he watched Kacchan instantly click with the redhead. Years he spent trying to fight for he and the others friendship. It only took a few days before he would catch Kacchan laughing in the kitchen with Kirishima, or playing games in each others rooms. And, yes, now Kacchan and Izuku both considered each other the closest person to the other, but Kirishima had easily taken the title first.
He watched Kacchan slap Kirishima on the back as Mina pulled the blonde into a small hug. There was a true and genuine smile on the explosive mans face. He was so damn proud of his friends love.
Izuku couldn't help but selfishly wonder if, like Izuku, Kacchan also wanted this future for himself.
The pictures were just to be taken in the garden in a secluded part of the resort, it was feeling much less hot than early and Izuku was thankful that he was starting to feel a little less hot and bothered himself.
The pictures were simple, the happy couple, each pair with their matching outfits, the boys, the girls, and then whoever else wanted one with the time they had remianing. Izuku sat down on a bench nearby as he watched the girls capitilize on this photoshoot opportunity. Nearly all of them wanted individual pictures in their outfits, and then certain pairs like Jirou and Momo or Tsu and Ochako also needed pictures together. He smiled to himself as he saw Ochako let her guard down, the real smile he hadn't seen earlier back.
Kirishima requested a picture with Kacchan of course, and then Sero and Kaminari snuck into the next one. The four boys were close. In high school, they had become quite the group. In their second year Kacchan would bring him along to their little guy hang outs, but Izuku always knew the four were tight together without him. While Sero and Shouto were getting couple pictures taken with Shinsou and Kaminari, he heard someone yell his name. He looked up to see Kirishima waving him over. He stood up, back sticky with sweat as he made his way over to the groom. “You need in these man!” He grabbed Izuku's arm pulling him closer. “Don’t think you can get away with only group shots!” He laughed.
Izuku gave an awkward smile. “Oh, its fine, really” He smiled. “I didn't want to take time away from the girls,” he laughed as he watched Ochako and Mina pose with peace signs together.
Izuku dared to peak over to where Kacchan was standing next to the photographer, clearly thanking the man for staying later than he was being paid. “Hey, Bakubro!” Kirishima gestured Kacchan over in a similar fashion to Izuku. “You two” He pointed between them as Katsuki made his way back. “You gotta get a picture together!” He beamed at them both.
Izuku tensed up. Kacchan hated this kind of stuff. He definitely wouldn't want to waste his time taking a picture with Izuku, not to mention the fact that he looked way better and was already stressed out being in charge of everyone-
“Lets do it” Izuku whipped his head towards Kacchan as the blonde grabbed his arm and started dragging him towards the camera.
Izuku felt bad for wasting the boys time, silently cursing Kirishima for his good heart. “R-Really, Kacchan” Izuku stuttered out. “We don't have to. I know-”
“It takes like five seconds” Kacchan cut him off. “We haven't gotten a good picture together since graduation” He shrugged. “The moms will go nuts over it”
His grip relaxed on Izuku's arm as the girls quickly moved out of their way for the camera. Kacchan actually wanted the picture. It wasn't something Kirishima or Izuku was forcing on him, it was something he was willingly doing. “Wow, the green and red together looks great guys!” The friendly man behind the camera said. “Just move a little closer for me” He shuffled his hands together.
Izuku kept his hands at his side, not daring to scare Kacchan off again, like he'd done in his hotel room. He started to smile, feeling awkward by their stoic stance, when he felt a hand sneak around his lower back and down to his waist. He tensed up, looking to make sure Kacchan hadn't been replaced by some other stranger. Kacchan was refusing to look at him as he pulled him closer. Izuku looked back at the camera too.
The moms were gonna love this, because Izuku was wearing the biggest grin he had in a while.
✧ ✴ ❀ ✴ ✧
Nejire had been the one that found the quant little grill and bar that they were in now. Everyone had quickly changed and were looking much more like how Izuku knew them to be. The bar was just across the street from the hotel, so they agreed to just head over there as they were ready. Izuku had made quick work of changing into his dark jeans and Ingenium long sleeve. The air was cooler than it had been all day and the light breeze felt amazing compared to what walking here this morning had felt like. He had met Momo and Jirou in the lobby and walked over with them. After they arrived, small groups, similar to their own piled in. Ochako, Kaminari, Shinsou, and Nejire. Then Tsu, Shouto, Sero, Camie, and Hagakure.
Izuku was already nursing his second drink while they waited on the other four to arrive so they could order. He tried not to grow impatient as he wondered what was taking them so long, more specifically, what was taking Kacchan so long. He tapped his foot as he leaned against the bar, trying not to suck down the rest of the vodka cran in his hand. It was barely nine o’clock and he did not want to be the first one tipsy.
He whipped his head over as the door opened. Monoma was the first one to step in, more dressed down than previously, but still easily the best dressed in the building. Then, the happy couple, hand-in-hand again, both still in white, but looking much more casual now. Finally, last through the door, with a calm face and that incredible natural confidence, was Kacchan. It was like ever since he saw him earlier, he couldn't keep his eyes off of him. He started at the bottom where Kacchan was wearing his own converse collaboration. The plain black shoes with a simple orange cross on the soles. Then the baggy jeans, loose around the hip and sporting a large hole under one of the knees. Finally, Izuku trailed up to the shirt. Dark green, baggy, a good shade on Kacchan. And then–a double take. The shirt was familiar. The shirt was his merch . Right on the front in big black letters ‘One for All Hero: DEKU’ He coughed on the vodka he had been sipping on as he watched.
But Kacchan had said it was weird! That's why he purposefully didn't pack too many merch items of the people here!
The group made their way to order from the grill, as Izuku tried to move himself in that direction too without looking too stunned. I mean, seriously. Somehow, he ended up right in line behind the blonde, trying to focus on anything other than the way Kacchan's arms filled out the large tshirt. It was like no matter how hard he tried to focus on the menu, his eyes kept being drawn back to the number five hero wearing his name. Something was seriously wrong with him. “Are you going to keep being weird about this?” Kacchan asked him, while not taking his eyes off the menu.
Izuku jumped at the accusation. “What?!” He tried to play it off. “B-Being– what weird?” He let out a laugh that sounded somewhere between a cry and a scream. “I’m not-” He let out another.
“I only wore it because you tried to act like I didn't own any” Kacchan finally looked at him with a softened version of his usual scowl. “Plus, being all the way out here, in Okinawa, feels a little less embarrassing than the Tokyo mall” He defended.
Izuku relaxed as he admired the other. “Well, I love it” He laid a hand over the shoulder of the fabric. “Even I don't own this one” He teased.
Kacchan pulled his arm away, lightly slapping Izuku's hand with it. “Owning your own merch is weird too, so good” He rolled his eyes. “And like I said, it's gonna be worth some money someday” He shoved Izuku lightly, still looking at the menu. This was the perfect opportunity. Without saying a word, while Kacchan was distracted, Izuku slowly started moving towards the camera around his neck. If he could move quietly enough, he just may be able to capture this wonderful bragging moment. Just as the flash went off Kacchan reached his hand up covering his face. “ Izuku” He growled.
Izuku didn't care as the man aggressively grabbed under his jaw, trying to pry his very head off his shoulders. He held the camera over Kacchan's arm so he could see the picture. It didn't even matter that the blonde had successfully covered his face. Those were Kacchan’s arms! Kacchan’s body! Kacchan’s hair! In his merch! “ Wook” He said through the squish Kacchan was creating with his hand on his jaw. “ Your weawing my merth!” He turned the camera to show the other.
Kacchan roughly shoved Izuku’s face away, ears tinted and eyes sharp. “Delete it” He murmured as he was next up to order.
Izuku giggled, loving how shy Kacchan got around the camera. “Not a chance” He looked at again, now that his attacker had let go of his face.
Kacchan scowled again as the lady taking orders asked him to step up. “Well, good luck ever seeing me in your shit again” He bit as he walked up to the woman.
Izuku was in a fit of joy and bubbles at this moment. “That’s okay!” He walked up to the second register. “I’ll always have the proof” He teased.
Kacchan let out several small pops in Izuku direction. “Sir, no quirks allowed inside”
“Sorry” He grumbled as he and Izuku made eye contact. Izuku could see the small smirk he was trying to hide. Izuku didn't think that anything could ruin the high he was riding right now.
That was until half an hour later when the bartender walked up to the group with a drink that none of them had ordered. They had been so full of laughter and so buzzed on the alcohol by this point, that no one saw as the small woman made her way over towards Kacchan who was sitting near Kirishima at the head of the table. Izuku was the first to notice as all their heads slowly turned towards the woman. She moved to sit a very expensive looking bottle of whiskey in front of Kacchan and Kirishima. They both looked at it confused, before Kirishima turned to the woman with a friendly smile. “Oh, sorry Ma’am” He said politely. “I don't think anyone here ordered this” He gestured to the bottle looking at everyone at the table to verify.
No one spoke up as the waitress smiled. “Well actually, it's for Dynamight-sama” She gestured towards Kacchan who looked at her confused. She opened the bottle for him and began pouring it in a small frozen glass.
Kacchan tried to stop her since it was obviously way out of their price range for tonight. “I didn't order this” He tried to argue.
The woman smiled again. “No, you didn't sir” She smiled. “But that young gentleman over their did” She pointed to a figure standing a few tables away from them. He was tall, dark, and handsome, the same glass in his hand, raising it in a distance cheers to Kacchan.
The waitress continued pouring as the table went quiet. When she was done she left the bottle on the table for them and left with a bow. Kirishima let out a long whistle as he slapped his friend on the back. “Well i’ll be damned” He laughed. Kacchan was staring at the glass, clearly scared to look up to see anyone's faces or to see the mysterious man who offered this.
“Look at that!” Mina added. “And you weren't even trying!” She reached over the table to squeeze Kacchan's red cheeks.
Izuku was feeling completely horrified. Kacchan was probably so embarrassed! What kind of guy would do that to him when they know from interviews he hates attention in public! It was a classic case of a hero chaser and he knew any minute that Kacchan was probably gonna stomp over their and blow his head-
“I guess i’ll try it then” He heard the blonde say instead. Izuku's mouth went slack.
“ Kacchan” He heard himself say from the completely opposite side of the table. Everyone's eyes slowly turned towards him.
Shinsou smirked. “Is there a problem, Midoriya?” He smiled as Kaminari elbowed his boyfriend in the ribs.
“N-No” Izuku answered. “Just what if it's spiked o-or something?” He felt his cheeks heat up. He wasn't really sure where the sudden outburst came from.
Camie knitted her eyebrows. “We literally watched the bartender pour it” She chuckled.
“R-Right” Izuku nodded. “Just paranoid I guess” He laughed anxiously.
Ochako looked at him sideways, cringing at his behavior. “Anyway, Bakugou” She placed the attention away from her friend. “Try it!”
Izuku watched tentatively as Kacchan brought the glass to his pink lips, the liquid pouring down his soft throat. His eyes widened a bit as the liquid hit the back of his tongue. “It’s pretty fucking good” He said with a smile. A SMILE??? Since when did stupid extra’s make Kacchan smile.
Then he watched Kacchan turn his head to where the man was still watching the table and give an air cheers back. When he turned back, his face was completely red and a small grin was on his lips. There was no way this cheap trick was actually working. “Well look at that blasty” Jirou winked at him from Izuku's side. “He has got good taste in liquor and men” She laughed.
The table joined in on the congratulations being thrown his way. Izuku was the only one not saying a word, and apparently Kacchan had noticed that too. He looked over towards Izuku as he took another sip, his eyes never leaving Izuku's as he brought the glass fro his lips again, just waiting for what Izuku would say. “You gotta go return the favor now” Monoma smirked, causing Kacchan to break their stare-off first.
Kacchan scoffed at the other. “This shit looks expensive” He held up the thick bottle.
Monoma chuckled, grabbing the glass Kacchan was using to take a sip for himself. Izuku watched in horror as Kacchan didn't yell, or fight, or snatch the glass back, but instead allowed Monoma to try it. “Well, he is surely owed after something that nice” His eyes shot up at the taste. “If not in liquor” He raised his eyebrows at his friend. “Then in company?” He challenged Kacchan.
The others instantly started agreeing. “Yeah, go talk to him!” Momo cheered.
“If you don't I will” Camie started fanning herself with her hand as she eyed the handsome man from across the bar.
Kacchan waved them off, causing Izuku’s heart rate to slowly fall back down. “Nah, probably just one of those hero chasers or whatever you guys called em” He took another gracious swig of the liquid.
“Who cares!” Mina yelled at him. “Hero chasers don’t equal bad fucks” She explained. “It just means you shouldn't date them” Izuku was becoming more horrified by the second. When he explained his hooked up with a hero chaser everyone had freaked out! Now suddenly, they want Kacchan to go jump in this guys bed.
Izuku was about to speak up, take Kacchan's side on this one when Tsu beat him to it. “It sounds like a Bakugou might be more afraid of this guy than he is of Villians, kero” She took a sip of her own drink eyeing him.
Everyone jumped in with murmuring agreements, and dammit, that was gonna work. He watched as Kacchan downed the rest of the brown liqid before slamming the glass down and pointing at them. He stood up making his decision. “Yeah, I'll show you idiots how unscared I am of this extra” He turned as the table cheered, watching him make his way towards the guy.
Izuku's stomach felt like led as he watched the interaction unfold. The guy had still been watching him, smirk only growing wider as he finally reeled Kacchan in. A waitress stopped by with more cold glass, temporarily distracting the table as they poured from the expensive bottle. Izuku let Ochako fill his cup as he watched Kacchan carefully. The man grabbed his elbow, Kacchan blushed.
Izuku couldnt believe his eyes. Kacchan was actually flirting back. Flirting with this man! In his shirt!!!! The waitress made her way over to the head of the table, covering his vision from the scene before him. He dodged and weaved around her small frame, just in time to see Kacchan pull out his phone . He had just got yelled at earlier for wanting to give his number to the front desk lady. What kind of hypocrisy is this?! And why was this making Izuku so upset?
When Kacchan finally made his way back, Izuku kept eyeing him, searching for an expression that said he was dissatisfied. And then he saw it, a small tsk as Kacchan took his seat. People instantly started questioning him.
“That was too quick!” Kaminari groaned.
“Did I see that you at least got his number?!” Mina chirped.
“He is still totally eyeing you, dude” Kirishima whipped his head around with a giant smile.
Izuku still stayed quiet. Only watching Kacchan, waiting for his answers. He looked dejected, or maybe even disgusted. That was a good sign. Izuku topped his train of thought. No, its not a good thing. Why would he think like that. Of course, he wanted Kacchan to be happy. “Dude was a total moron” Kacchan shoo’ed their questions off.
YES!!
Stop.
Ugh.
“How?” Jirou leaned forward to get one last look at the guy as he left the bar. “He was totally hot and clearly rich” She gestured to the bottle that now was entirely empty as they all shared sips.
“Wasn’t bout his looks or money he just wasn't smart” He clicked his teeth.
Whatever the reason, Izuku was not complaining that he was back at the table with them rather than following that man out the door. “How did you possibly learn his intelligence level in a five minute conversation?”
Kacchan took the last sip from the large bottle before handing it back to the waitress as she passed. “Guy kept telling me he was this huge fan of All Might” He gave a sarcastic laugh. “Told me he like my Golden age watch” He held up his wrist to show the table.
“Pffffffft.” Izuku was the only one with a reaction. The table turned to him, clearly very confused on what the problem with a compliment to Kacchan's watch could be. Izuku gestured his hand back to the watch Kacchan still had raised for them to see for themselves. “Guys clearly an idiot!” He agreed with Kacchan.
Ochako looked between them both before speaking up. “I hate to be the one to speak up but” She gave a flabbergasted expression. “I guess I am just lost how a compliment about your favorite hero and your favorite watch is a bad thing? ”
Everyone else turned to Kacchan as well, hoping for a clearer answer this time. “It's clearly Silver age ” He looked at everyone like they were stupid.
And Izuku agreed. “Seriously” He added. “Why would they put golden age on a silver watch. I mean, basic common sense” He was feeling much lighter than he had a few minutes ago.
“Bingo” Kacchan pointed at him with a victorious smile.
“Whew” Izuku leaned back in his chair to look at the rest of the table. “That was a closeeeee one” He smiled, taking the last sip of his own drink.
Everyone else was looking between the pair with wide jaws and knit brows. “Okay” Sero added in. “I just have to say” He looked back at Kacchan. “Just because someone doesn't recognize the make and model of your limited addition All Might merch, doesn't mean they aren't smart ” The rest of the table nodded in agreement.
Kacchan laughed at that. “Yeah, well Izuku is the biggest moron I know” He gestured at him from the other side. “And he could tell it was silver age before I even opened the box!” He defended.
“Exactly!” Izuku beamed. “Hey! Wait!” He finally caught up to the insult wrapped nicely in a bow. “I graduated number three in our class!” He shot a glare at the other.
Kacchan smirked, probably satisfied that he had gotten under his skin. “Not number one though” He scrunched his nose.
“Okay, well” Momo cut in. “As someone that graduated number two and is deemed smarter than Izuku, I wouldn't have been able to tell” Everyone at the table nodded.
“Oh, but sweetheart” Mina leaned closer to her friend. “Izuku can, and that's the real problem” She gave a defeated look.
The rest of the table groaned as the all took heavy swigs of whatever alcohol was left in front of them.
“What's that s-supposed to mean!” Izuku asked as they all clearly were in on something together.
“Yeah, what the hell!” Kacchan added with him.
Kirishima turned as the waitress passed them once more. “Ma’am” he lightly grabbed her wrist. “Can we get another bottle for the table please” He looked tired and annoyed. “Much cheaper and much stronger if ya got it?” He asked nicely.
Izuku looked up to see Kacchan shrugging at him.
The night could have been worse.
✵ Katsuki ✵
Katsuki’s embarrassment didn't last that long as the alcohol subsided any of their friends memories of his attempts at flirting. He really hadn't wanted to talk to that guy, but after tasting the alcohol on his tongue and seeing the conventionally attractive man, he couldn't find a reason not to. Maybe, if he did it this once then his friends would back off and let him be for the rest of the trip. Or maybe he would talk to the guy and feel something, anything, for a stranger, let him take him back to his room and catch up with what everyone else his age was doing.
And he did try to like him, but how could he look past all the things that were so easy to find in someone else. He called him Dynamight to start off with, by the end of the conversation he still hadn't used his given name. He was bigger than Katsuki, taller. Katsuki didn't like the way he felt small, he didn't like the feeling of being lured over. The man's attempts at flirting were all physical, the hand on his arm, the breath on Katsuki's ear as he whispered how attractive he was. Katsuki wanted to fall for it. And then, he had brought up the watch, and for some reason that's what had caused Katsuki's aversion to the situation entirely, because again, why look for something in someone when you already have someone at your side who can fill the need.
Maybe he wasn't made for romance, maybe being close with Eijiro and Izuku was as deep as it was going to get for him. That's why, by the end of the night he didn't care about the dark headed man anymore, he didn't care that his friends thought he was keeping his standards too high, and he sure as hell didn't care when they called it a night before eleven.
They crossed the street, some stumbling more than others. Katsuki would usually be exhausted by now, back on his couch, with Tofu in his arms. Maybe it was the espresso martini or the adrenaline that came along with loud places and louder friends, but he knew he wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. He was walking near the back of the group as they all hugged or placed arms around each other, so easy for them all to get along. Katsuki was grateful that these 15 people along with the rest of class-A had forced him to change, forced him to be their friend. For the first time in his 15 years, he remembers feeling like people wanted to be his friend not his quirks friend. And now, here he was, ten yeas later, feeling content as he watched some of his favorite people stumble loudly through the streets of Okinawa.
He didn't realize he was smiling until Izuku turned around to look at him. He was about ten meters away, Asui wrapped around his neck as he helped her into the hotel lobby. He quickly wiped the content look off his face as if he had been caught. He watched Izuku adjust his arm under her so he could have a free hand.
While half-looking back and half watching Asui he began to adjust his fingers in the dark light. Katsuki had to squint to make out what he was saying.
Check your phone . He sighed it as best he could with only one hand free and a goofy smile as Asui mumbled in his ear. Katsuki's heart monitor beeped only once before Katsuki slammed his hand against it, turning it off. He dislodged his phone from his back pocket, feeling suddenly fluttery about what Izuku had to say.
Nerd
Hot tub? If you’re tired thats okay! ( ◠‿◠ ) I’m feeling a little sore from travel so I thought I would stop by!
Sent 10:48 p.m.
He scrolled through the message with his index finger. He could feel the nerd looking back at him, waiting for him to type and reply. It did sound nice, and it would help with the restless feeling he was dealing with, but why had Izuku texted him instead of just asking him out loud? Was he trying to keep it from the extras?
Me
Just us?
Sent 10:50 p.m.
By now they had entered the lobby and people were heading off in different directions towards their rooms. Izuku and Katsuki were on opposite sides as Izuku went to the elevator with half of them and Katsuki headed for the stairs with the other half. He didn't get to see the expression on Izuku's face as he asked his question.
He made it to his room and stripped off his converse before the next text came in. He had likely walked Asui to her room before making it back to his own. Katsuki let his finger hover over the message before clicking on it.
Nerd
Ahh, yeah! (ᵕ—ᴗ—)
Sent 10:57 p.m.
I would invite the others but i’m feeling a little socially drained after tonight!
Sent 10:58 p.m.
Plus, you were talking about going and I know you also like to have your alone time!
Sent 10:58 p.m.
If you wanna go by yourself thats fine too! ( ◠‿◠ )
Sent 10:58 p.m.
So he wanted it to be just the two of them. He could have easily invited anyone else, but he chose to invite Katsuki. The liquor was still warping around Katsuki's mind as the thought of them alone made his stomach turn. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but Katsuki could sense that his control was slipping as he tried to guard himself from whatever this creeping feeling was.
Me
Meet me in the lobby in five
Sent 10:59 p.m.
With that timeframe, he didn't give himself time to think. He didn't give himself enough down time to linger on what he was feeling or why he was nervous or how jittery he felt as he slipped on his swim trunks. He looked at himself in the mirror. He kept his tshirt on with the black shorts and slipped on the zori sandals that the hotel had provided. His hair was flat now from the humidity of the island. Where his spikes usually stood tall, they were now flat against his forehead. He didn't have time to fix it and the hot tub would likely ruin any attempts he made anyway. He checked his watch before taking it off. 11:03. He grabbed his hotel key, a towel, and his phone and sped out the door.
His heart was still racing, the rush of running out the door making his palms sweaty. He pushed the stair doors open, entering back into the lobby. Izuku was already sitting there, legs spread on the same bench from earlier, focusing hard at something on his phone. Katsuki stood by the door for a second to take the sight in. Why was it so hard to look at him lately?
“Oh, Kacchan!” Izuku waved when he caught Katsuki standing awkwardly by the door. “Right on time” He gave a dopey thumbs up that Katsuki tried to refrain from smiling at.
Izuku had been on time. Not only that, but he ahd actually beaten Katsuki here. Izuku was never on time for anything. “Watcha sitting for?” His voice came out less teasing than he wanted and more stiff and frail.
“Right!” Izuku stood up, his ingenium shirt from earlier now swallowing him without jeans to tuck it into. “Thanks for coming” Izuku smiled up at him. What had him so happy? “I know you're probably exhausted from the long day” Their shoulders barely brushed as they walked back out into the tepid air.
Katsuki refrained from looking at the other as they walked. “I actually was thinking right before you texted me how I wasn't very tired” He confessed. “So I don't mind” He shrugged.
Their short conversation had already lead them towards the pool area. It was desolate and dark. He was going to be alone, with Izuku, in the dark, half naked, and slightly drunk.
Okay.
The walked a few more feet to where the hot tub Katsuki had read about on their website was located. He had been so lost in whatever Izuku was blabbering about, something about his student history paper, or maybe hero analysis? , that he had missed when Izuku stopped dead in his tracks.
He had been mentally preparing himself the whole walk, looking down at their walking feet and telling himself this was a great opportunity to talk things through. Get to the bottom of why things had been weird and clear the air so they could move on like they always did. He looked up when he no longer heard foot steps following next to him. He was staring at a completely black, turned off hot tub, with a big sign that said closed.
Fuck.
He couldn't help the disappoitned pit that formed in his stomach. He had been entirely too nervous the total walk over here and now that they had made it, he realized just how much he had wanted to spend this time with the other. He took a shaky sigh to look back at Izuku, who must have stopped after he realized himself they there was no hot tub in their near future.
“I’m sorry” He turned around to instantly apologize. He almost felt like he was on the verge of crying. He had let Izuku down, he hadn't checked the website. The man was sore and tired and Katsuki hadn't even thought to take the time before they walked all the way over here to see if it was open. He felt like a failure, a giant joke. “I should've-”
“That should do it” He heard the other say. Izuku was standing in front of some fuse box looking thing, where he was pushing buttons without knowing what they meant. Suddenly, from behind him Katsuki heard the hot tub click back on with the sound of bubbles and jets. Izuku was heading right back for him before Katsuki could even process what he had just done. He grabbed him by the arm and started directing him to the closed hot tub like he was a lost child.
Finally, when his brain caught up past the alcohol and dilirium, he pulled back. “Wait, what the hell?” He changed their positioning, now grabbing Izuku and preventing him from entering the forbidden area. “It says closed, we can't just turn it back on” He was shocked by the mans lack of respect for the rules.
Izuku, who was heavy and still really fucking strong, started pulling Katsuki with him anyway. “Shhhhh” He put a finger over his mouth. “Its fineeeee” He giggled.
Katsuki pulled away again. “No, it's not fine!” He put his foot down. “If someone caught us we would be all over the papers for breaking the rules!” He huffed. “I’m not letting our number four and five spot go just because you wanna soak up all the hot water” He turned to leave.
Izuku, having no other choice since Katsuki's arms were crossed over his chest, grabbed at Katsuki's hip bone, flipping him back around. This time Izuku took a step forward too, making them unbearably close. Too close for Katsuki to be able to say no to whatever was coming next. “Kacchan” Izuku smiled. “We aren’t actually breaking any rules” He gave Katsuki's hip bone a small squeeze, making Katsuki swallow hard. “I asked the front desk” He explained. “Mori-san told me how to turn it on” Katsuki felt irritated by the mention of the woman's name. Of course she would do that for Izuku. “She said as long as we don't forget to turn it back off when we are done, it's okay” His thumb drew a small circle over Katsuki's hip in reassurance.
Finally, Katsuki seemed to gain a morsel of composure, slapping Izuku's hand from his stomach. “ Fine ” He grumbled. “Then what the hell are you waiting for?” He pointed for Izuku to get in, needing those green eyes to look anywhere but at him. “It's getting cold!” He tried to snap sharply.
“Of course” Izuku just smiled. “Lets go” He held out his hand, offering it for Katsuki to take. Just as Katsuki felt like maybe he would reach out and grab it back. Maybe take it like he should have all those years back, Izuku dropped it with a hurry. “Sorry!” His face was red as he covered it with the had he had just held out. “Teachers habit” He laughed at himself.
“Nerd” Katsuki shoved past him, trying to ignore the disappointment he felt that he was heading over here unconnected from the other. Where his skin had once felt cool in the air now felt like it was burning up. Stepping into the hot water might actually ignite his skin.
Taking off his shirt suddenly felt really intimate as the air around them was silent and only the two of them bare witness to one another. Without thinking much of it, he shucked it off and stepped into to water. It was warm and the jets were right on his back and he let himself close his eyes to prevent from staring at what could only be Izuku taking off the shirt of his own.
Instead, when he opened his eyes he only saw Izuku place his feet into the water and perch on the edge. Now, Katsuki felt exposed, his chest bare, scar on display. All for Izuku to sit here fully dressed and not even in the water. “Why aren't you getting in?” Katsuki asked impatiently.
Izuku rummaged through something in his short pockets before pulling out his pack of cigarettes. “I thought I'd smoke one really quick” He said somewhat shyly. Katsuki rolled his eyes. Izuku had picked up a nasty habit of smoking during their third year at UA. When their third year Senpai’s became of age and Izuku would hang out with them far too much. He would come back smelling like smoke and ash. Katsuki had told him to cut it out, told him to stop filling his lungs with the cancerous shit. Izuku always told him he would try someday, but not now.
And it looked like someday had still not come. “You seriously haven't quit that shit?” He asked annoyed.
Izuku ignored him as he put the thing between his teeth, lighting it and taking his first puff. Rather than answering with words, he leaned over the water handing the cigarette towards Katsuki's mouth. Katsuki shoved it away with a glare. “Your loss” Izuku shrugged. After a beat of silence he spoke again. “I don't do it very often” He admitted. “Only when I've drank” He took another puff, leaning back on his hands, legs spread in the water.
“You shouldn't do it at all ” Katsuki scoffed back, running his wet hands through his dry hair. “You’re a hero” He added. “You shouldn't fill your lungs with smoke” He reprimanded.
Izuku chuckled. “You do it everyday” He laughed. Katsuki looked at him with knitted brows and a twisted mouth. “Your quirk,” Izuku explained. “You practically breath smoke”
Katsuki sighed loudly. “Its not the same” He snapped. “My body's meant for it”
Izuku looked at him half-lidded, the alcohol still clearly running circles in his system. “You don't know that” He shrugged.
Katsuki stood up, furious at the accusation. Without being able to stop himself, he waded through the hot water until he was right between Izuku's spread legs. “So what?” He asked in the other mans face. “If my lungs go down, yours have to go with me?” He felt dizzy between the expensive liquor, the warm water, the smoke in his face, Izuku.
Izuku smirked, clearly enjoying pushing Katsuki's buttons tonight. “Isn’t that how it's always been?” His grin grew, showing his crooked teeth. Then he moved again, taking another puff of the cigarette in Katsuki's face, turning to blow the smoke away from them. Without asking again, he turned the end that had just come from his mouth towards Katsuki, eyebrows raising.
Katsuki sighed, of all things, peer pressure was what was gonna kill him. He leaned forward, Izuku meeting him halfway with the stick. They never broke eye contact as Katsuki pursed his lips around the thing, lips barely brushing Izuku's two fingers. He sucked in, horrible.
When he blew the air back out, he didn't attempt to miss Izuku’s face, if he wanted the smoke in his lungs that badly he could have Katsukis too. When the smoke parted Izuku was just grinning. Katsuki nearly held it in, when he finally let out a burning cough, taking a small step backwards as the rest of the smoke came back up his throat.
Izuku leaned back letting out a howling laugh. Without waiting for Katsuki to get out of his personal space, he started shucking off the long sleeve tshirt he was still wearing. Katsuki watched as his wrecked body became on display. His smooth abs he still kept up with, the large back and arms, the scars that ran up and down them. Somehow it was different seeing it here instead of during sparring or in the locker room. When Katsuki realized he was looking for too long to be normal, he stepped back through the water to his own side of then tub. He sat back down, the warm water moving up his chest and splashing to the nape of his neck. He leaned his head back, looking up towards the sky as they sat in comfortable silence, Izuku's smoke filling the air around them.
As he racked his brain for what to talk about, the darkness around them suddenly became filled with a bright light. Katsuki's phone buzzed next to his head as the screen showed the wallpaper he had saved. It was a selfie Mina had taken of them on Katsuki's 23rd birthday. Izuku, Eijiro, Mina, Sero, Todoroki, Kaminari, and Jirou all stuffed into a tiny booth, grins on their faces. In his intoxicated and sleepy state he must have been grinning at the memory as he checked for who was texting him.
Pinky
Hey Bakubabe!!! I haven’t got to talk to much today but I just wanted to say thank you so much for planning all of this!
Sent 11:16 p.m.
I know you hate ‘sentimental shit’ but I have to tell you that I love you so much and E and I are so grateful ㅤ♡
Sent 11:17 p.m.
Katsuki did hate sentimental shit. But he also loved Mina and Eijiro to death. Having two people be their for him when he was still a little shit, means everything to him and if the only way to repay that was to make sure their wedding went flawlessly, that was what he would do. He still wasn't amazing with words, and even worse over text, so it took him a second to formulate a response.
Me
You all deserve it.
Sent 11:19 p.m.
<3
Sent 11:19 p.m.
He cringed at the heart he had added while his guard was down. When he saw her typing immediately he regretted it even more.
Pinky
A HEART?
Sent 11:19 p.m.
I HAVE BEEN BLESSED???
Sent 11:19
Pinky is typing….
He shut his phone back off and turned it on do not disturb before he had to read any more of her over reaction. When he sat his phone back down he could feel eyes on him. Izuku was still sitting across from the hot tub, only now he was looking at him. He had his cigarette pushing down on the concrete besides them to put the flame out, just looking at Katsuki. Katsuki tried not to feel intimidated as he looked back. “What?” he asked ignoring the croak in his own voice.
Izuku must have realized he was glaring, because his face softened shortly after. “N-nothing” He smiled. After a few more minutes of silence he gave in, just like Katsuki knew he would. “Were you texting that guy?” He suddenly asked.
Katsuki short-circuted for a moment. That guy? It hadn't been what he was expecting and also what guy ? He tried not to show his shock or confusion as he took his time to think of an answer. Guy? Was Izuku referring to the dude he talked to tonight? How, though? He hadn't even gotten that freaks number. And why would Izuku think he did? Katsuki could feel him watching the entire time Katsuki talked with the dude. He only pulled his phone out the one time to… oh.
He guessed it did kinda seem like they might have exchanged phone numbers. Would it have been so wrong if they did? He suddenly got this punch out to the gut feeling of wanting to stir the pot. It was a feeling he had worked on in his youth, trying not to push others buttons, be more aware of others feelings. But right now, when he could tell it bothered Izuku that he might be talking to another, he wanted to slam his thumb down on that said button. “Maybe, so” He answered coyly.
Izuku responded with a sarcastic scoff that Katsuki could practically hear the eye roll in. “After all that” He mumbled. “ Doesn’t deserve it a bit” His voice was so quiet Katsuki almost missed it even with his hearing aids turned up.
Katsuki, annoyed with himself for ever starting this conversation, felt himself getting riled up by what was supposed to be Izuku annoyance. “What was that?” He asked boldly.
Izuku eyes flashed with something like regret or guilt. “You just didn't seem into him” He changed his words to something less hateful. “You don't have do lower your standards just because the others say you should” He looked away from Katsuki, a show of embarrassment for his anger showing all over his face.
The look of remorse made Katsuki softened too. They were still quiet the pair. Better than they had ever been before, but still so amazing at getting under the others skin and scratching under the surface of what they've tried to hide. “I know, nerd” He said softer than he meant to.
Izuku had been right in everything he had said. He wasn't into the dude. His standards weren't going to change. And he hadn't been texting the guy whose name he hadn't even bothered to learn. The look on Izuku's face hadn't brought him as much pleasure as he thought it would. “You really shouldn't be on your phone anyway” Izuku added, a twinge of anxiety in his throat. “We came here for our arms, we should keep them in the water” He put his pack of cigarettes up, submerging his arms under the bubbles and taking his own advice before Katsuki he tell him that himself.
Katsuki wordlessly did the same as he watched Izuku desperately try to relax. He was rubbing the palm of one hand with the thumb of his other. He watched the working hand shake as it tried to bring relief to the other one. Just when his left hand began to softened he had no choice but to start on the right, losing all progress he had just made. “Do you ever have someone else do it?” He asked quietly as Izuku's eyes opened, slight tension behind them. “Like a professional” He added, scared Izuku would be too honest. Say that some hookup took care of him, was soft with him, did things for Izuku that no one had before-
“No” He answered before continuing to move up to his wrist. “People usually like to avoid my hands” He added vulnerably. “They’re ugly” He nealry whispered.
“They aren't" Katsuki heard himself say before he could stop his tongue from moving. Izuku’s eyes widened for a moment before looking back down. “People don't like my hands either” He spoke when Izuku's face still looked too pained for his liking.
“Why?” Izuku stopped his massaging. “Nothings wrong with yours” He sounded confused and amazed that anyone would ever stray from Katsuki.
Katsuki sighed at his ignorance. “They’re weapons, Izuku” He said plainly. “People don’t wanna get to close to someone that seems trigger happy on the news” He laughed to himself.
Izuku stood up, feeling suddenly very upset at the accusation. “But Kacchan has always been precise and kept his quirk under very impressive control" He spat out the words as if it were Katsuki who had accused himself of so.
He felt awkward as Izuku stood over him. “Yeah” He scoffed. “You would know that, but not everyone does” He explained. “And honestly, if anyone should be scared of these hands, its you” He admitted with defeat.
There was a pause in the air where they both knew what they were thinking about. The dozens of times Katsuki used his hands for bad on Izuku. Singed hair, burnt lips, bruised arms. His heart monitor went off under the water, barely heard. “I’m not” Izuku said finally. “Not since that day we fought in first year” he said confidently. “I know you wouldn’t ever hurt me, or anyone , that didn't deserve it” He moved another inch closer.
Katsuki finally looked up, intimidated by the proximity. “It's fine Izuku” He tried to laugh it off. “I wasn't trying to make this pity hour-”
“No, I know” Izuku cut him off. “I just-” He sighed, taking a seat next to Katsuki, their thighs touching. “I just want you to know I guess” He said uncertain. “That-That anyone who does think that doesn't know you, doesn't deserve you-” He cut himself off again.
Katsuki could feel himself stupidly getting choked up. “Yeah” He said horsely. “I know” he cleared his throat.
It was silent again, this one filled with less tension as they sat shoulder to shoulder. “Do you think you could do it?” Izuku asked quietly without turning his head to look at the other.
Katsuki looked at him, trying to read his face for what he meant behind his words. “Do what?” He asked suspiciously.
Izuku finally looked at him, fidgeting with his curls as he clarified his question. “I’ve seen you do it to your arm” He explained. Katsuki's eyes widened a fraction at the realization. “In the locker rooms” He continued. “When you warm up your hands to massage sore muscles” He made brief eye contact before looking down into the water. “Do you think you could– maybe?” He sighed at his stuttering. “Nevermind” he laughed a little as Katsuki just stared at him stunned by the question laced with vulnerability. “I shouldn't ask that” He moved his thigh away form where it was previously touching Katsuki’s.
Intictivley missing the touch, Katsuki's hand went to grab Izuku's leg under water, causing them both to jump. He pulled back quickly. “Sorry” He spat out. “I mean–” He lost his words as Izuku's legs pressed back against his slowly. “Its pretty dangerous when I do that” He tried to make the excuse to avoid this intimate moment. “My skin can take it if I accidentally let off an explosion, not yours” He looked away.
“I trust you” Izuku said at full volume. He looked down at Izuku's scarred hands as he continued to fidget. “They just really hurt” He said pitifully. “And you're the only one I'm not embarrassed to let get close to them”
Katsuki's breath hitched at the words. The closet one to Izuku Midoriya. The words rang through his ear as his heart patterned under the roaring water. “Okay” He agreed breathlessly. “Sure” He confirmed.
Unlike how Izuku usually lit up, this time he gave a gentle smile. He pried the hand closest to Katsuki out of the water and slowly maneuvered it under Katsuki's good arm. Katsuki grabbed his wrist gently as he looked at those hands. So large, so powerful. The scars only added to the gruffiness they naturally had, hairy and veiny. He looked away from them as he carefully heated his hands. All he had to do now was touch. Touch the hands he had avoided grabbing for so long, the one he secretly wished to hold onto now.
His long fingers gently moved to wrap his warm palms around either side of Izuku's hand. Izuku let out a breathy noise as he carefully dragged them over the expansion of his hurt. Katsuki felt dazed as he continued the rub into the scarred skin. Izuku’s fingers kept flexing under his, grabbing back when the pain became too sudden. He dug his thumbs into the knuckles that had broken hundreds of times when they were boys. “ Mmfm” Izuku let out a groan of pain. Katsuki's eyes drifted to Izuku's face as he kept going. His head was leaned back against the wall of the tub, eyes pinched shut, with his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.
Katsuki found his mouth hung slack as he watched the mans ecstasy. “D-Does it hurt?” He asked, no real concern as he watched Izuku's chest move up and down.
Izuku shook his head no. “No, Kacchan” He practically groaned. “Please, Kacchan” He said with a breath. “Please don't stop” Katsuki's heart was going to actually explode, again. “ Yes, Kacchan right there” He moaned, too close to Katsuki's ear.
And.
Oh my God.
No.
Fuck!
Katsukis hands came to a stop as his realization slowed his mind even further. There was no fucking way. The lack of intamacy, the high standads, not being able to look at Izuku without his damn heart monitor going off, the sleepless nights, the wondering eye, the worry that Izuku will fill his place, the fucking boner in his shorts right now.
Katsuki had a fucking crush on Izuku Midoriya.
Like a huge fucking crush.
He swallowed down the thought, as suddenly the feeling of Izuku’s hands in his was too much to bear. He let go, standing up and knocking into Izuku’s shoulder. “Kacchan?” He asked worriedly.
Katsuki turned fast, taking one massive step directly out of the tub, quickly wrapping a towel around any evidence of his wary mind. “Sorry” He mumbled. “Um, I just remembered I needed to call my mom” What? He tried not to show the lie painted all over his face.
Izuku went to stand up too, showing his stupid arms and stupid chest and stupid abs that Katsuki was having thoughts of licking right now. “Oh! Auntie” He chirped up innocently like they hadn't just been practically making out a second ago. Okay, too far, but close enough! “But it's so late?” He cocked his head in curiosity.
Katsuki made quick work of grabbing his belongings and sliding his shoes on. “Ah, time change” He lied again.
Izuku laughed. “Kacchan, it's the same time in Tokyo and Okinawa” His laugh faded with worry.
Katsuki rolled his eyes. “Well you know how she is–I gotta-”
“Okay!” Izuku tried to hurry out. “I’ll come, just give me a second” He went to move.
“No!” Katsuki held his hand up. “I mean you should stay here” His mouth was moving faster than his brain. All he knew is that his composure was completely lost on what he was seeing now, and did not need to add ass and thighs into the equation. Luckily, Izuku sat back down with a frown. “Just, don't forget to turn it off or whatever Moron-san said” He went to leave instantly.
“ Mori” Izuku corrected as Katsuki took off. “Tell Auntie I-I said hi” Katsuki heard him say somewhere in the short distance.
What in the ever-loving fuck was he going to do about this?
✧ Izuku ✧
He only stayed until he could determine that Katsuki was back in his room, then he was quickly grabbing his things, turning the hot tub off, and heading back to his own room in confusion. The walk back and elevator ride up was filled with ponderings of where he had gone wrong. Maybe he shouldn't have brought up the guy from the bar. Maybe making Kacchan give him a massage was too pushy, when all the other wanted to do was relax. Izuku felt a sinking feeling in his stomach like he had messed everything up. It felt like everytime he got close to being the perfect best friend, he found some way to fuck it all up.
He pushed open the door of his room, feeling a little awkward around Monoma after their conversation earlier. He wasn't as lucky as when Monoma was in the bathroom earlier, instead he was sitting on the bed he had chosen as his own, near the window, reading one of the magazines left on the coffee table for them. Izuku didn't plan on saying anything, he would head straight for the shower and then straight to bed. “How was the hot tub date?” He asked smuggly, not bothering to take his eyes off of Hero weekly .
Izuku, not in the mood and more tired than he realized, let his entire guard down. “Well I’m pretty sure Kacchan is pissed at me so” He shrugged. “Guess I should've listened to your words of warning better” his tone was evident that he was near breaking. He always did this.
Monoma set the magazine down finally, sweeping his legs off the bed to stand up. “What happened?” He sounded anxious. “Is he okay?” He looked like he was searching for his phone.
Izuku sighed, sitting his still wet body on the edge of his bed, uncaring at the moment. “I-I don’t know” He confessed. “I don’t know what I did if i’m being honest” He threw his body backwards to lay, tiredness finally striking hard.
Monoma stood over him with a tightened expression. “So, why do you think he is mad then?” He asked genuinely.
Izuku sat up on his forearms, intrigued by this side of Monoma, the side Kacchan had told him he had in him. “He ran off” He bit his lip. “In the middle of–” Thoughts of Katsuki's smooth hands against his, thighs touching, warm water, filled his mind. “In the middle of us talking” he told a small lie, unsure of why he felt the need to cover up what they were really doing.
Monoma’s expression shifted from concern to something softer. He moved to go lay back down in his bed. “He probably isn't mad then, Midoriya” He said casually.
Izuku sat up, now regretful for the wetness of the bed. “What do you mean?” He glanced over to Monoma, who had picked up the magazine again. “Why else would you run?” He muttered
Monoma took a heavy sigh in before deciding to continue. “You have known Katsuki far longer than I have” The unusually tender words made Izuku turn around again. Monoma looked at him thoughtfully. “You should know better than anyone that he tends to run away from things” He shot his eyebrows up. “Good or bad” He hummed before picking the book up again.
Izuku thought for a moment, finally letting his brain catch up before his mouth started moving. Maybe Monoma was right. “I-I think” He let himself process again. “I think I push him too hard” He gave in. “I make our friendship into more than he is ready for” He finally found the pajamas he had packed and tucked them under his arm. “I should try to be grateful for what we have” He nodded.
Izuku went to head to the bathroom, tears begging to be released from his eyes. “Midoriya” He turned one last time, growing annoyed with the conversation. Monoma was going to rub it in, he was going to make fun of how needy Izuku was. “Katsuki admires your friendship more than anything in this life” The words sucked the breath right out of Izuku's lungs. Monoma never went out of his way to use nice words, so he must have some reason for telling Izuku this. “When” He suddenly went quiet as Izuku sat back down. “When it happened” The reference to Kacchans death brought the tears that were hidden into plain sight. “I was only ten meters away” His voice was crackled and tired. “I couldn't do a damn thing about it” He sighed.
“No one could-” Izuku cut in.
“When his back hit the ground” He ignored Izuku. “When the color from his face completely drained, heart having exploded only mere second ago” Izuku's chest ached at the memory, the tugging feeling unbearable. “His body didn't sit down immediately" He wasn't looking at Izuku anymore, instead staring far off as if he could still see it. “We could hear him speaking, the ones of us there” He took a deep breath.
Izuku sat up. “Speaking?” His face went pale.
Monoma finally looked back up to him. “He was mumbling, finding his way to deaths door” His voice shook. “And the last word on his lips was your name” His face became sharp.
What was a quiet cry became heavy. “ What ” Izuku shook his head. “I don’t– why?!” He spoke clearly through his wet voice and cheeks.
Monoma let out a puff of air. “Because that's how much you mean to him, Izuku” He jumped at the use of his given name. “From the moment he took his last breath, to the moment he was revitalized, you were the one he craved at his side” He spoke in honesty.
Izuku's hands shook. “H-He’s never told me” He shook his head almost as if he didn't want to believe it.
“And you've never told him about blackwhip” Monoma retorted back.
Izuku clicked his teeth. “Its not the same-”
“Listen” Monoma cut him off. “I know its hard for you to understand.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Katsuki’s an asshole” He pointed to himself after. “Takes one to know one”
“You’re not an asshole” Izuku said quietly.
Monoma pinched his lips together. “I know we have talked and apologized about the things I said about Katsuki and I know you have said time and time again there's no problem between us” He sighed. “But I also know a part of you wil never forgive me” Izuku wanted to speak up but knew he would be lying if he did. Instead he gave a shaky nod. “All I'm saying is just because Katsuki can be a punk and a little emotionally constipated” He looked Izuku dead in the eyes. “That does not mean you aren’t pretty damn high on the list of things he cares most about” He finally laid back down, done with the conversation just as earlier.
Izuku stood up to finally head to the shower. He turned around one last time. “Thank you” He whispered.
“You can thank me by working it out with him” He chuckled to himself. “When you two are mad at each other it's uncomfortable for everyone” He laughed a little louder.
Izuku let a small smile grow on his lips with hope that things would be okay between them.
Izuku hated feeling like he was a burden. That's why he had to make things okay.
Notes:
Please leave a kudo or comment if you enjoyed!!!!! It makes writing seem so much easier when people engage :)))))
also just a warning the next chapter will take 2-3 weeks :( I leave for my first medical rotation tomorrow and will have less time to write every day, but don't think my laptop isnt coming with me during clinic breaks!
I already have the entire story outlined so don't fret about it being left unfinished <3
Chapter 3: Bonfire
Summary:
Katsuki seems to find love in everything but himself. Izuku knows he should be satisfied where he is at.
Notes:
Hi loves!!!! Thank you for the patience:) Pretty big chapter we have here hehe
enjoy<3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
✵ Katsuki ✵
Katsuki didn't deserve much in this life. He knew that.
He had damn near a decade of trying to make things right with himself. His first year in UA not only showed him what kind of person Izuku had been all that time in front of him, but also showed himself the insecurities and weakness he had in his own personality. He hadn't felt something so crushing as the weight of knowing you were a shit person and that somehow still made it this far in your dream. He was embarrassed, humiliated even, when he thought back to all the times he had acted out because of Izuku. He felt undeserving of every good grade, every mission invite, every single time one of the older heroes told him how much they admired him. He wanted to scream out that he didn't deserve any of it, he didn't want any more praise. He can remember the day he broke down completely. The day Izuku finally lost his quirk was bad, but not nearly as bad as the few months that came after it.
Just as Izuku had gotten used to carrying One for All, everyone around him had too. They were sparring, just the usual class training exercises. Katsuki didn't win much against Izuku these days but that didn't matter to him anymore, he was having fun. He had finally gotten approved to use his quirk in his injured arm again. His heart monitor had been approved for full combat and he was crazy ready to be back out there. It had been 18 months since he had used his entire strength. Izuku had bounced back quickly too, at least appearing as so. He never complained about the empty feeling, or the loss of the quirk, or even the fact that he couldn't participate in most of their training anymore. But there were times like this one where everyone was reminded painfully.
They paired up, as usual, throwing and dodging punches, swift kicks and take downs. Izuku was still so good, so athletic, even without the power. He had built his body to near perfection and maintained perfect form regardless. Katsuki was having so much fun, that he forgot Izuku wasn't exactly the same as usual.
It was supposed to be a quirkless training day, he knew that, but he and Izuku had never followed that rule. So when Aizawa-sensei had stepped away and the adrenaline of getting to be back on his feet took over, he made a stupid mistake. In first year, when the two of them would spar, Katsuki always had a plan for throwing the nerd off. He would release a few sparks in front of his face to partially blind him for a few seconds, before throwing a right hook and taking him down completely. Sometimes it worked when Izuku was tired, most of the time danger sense activated, but it would still give Katsuki the upperhand. Something took over him as he and Izuku were finally back out on the mat together, he couldn't think straight and so he did what he would have done any other time.
He felt the familiar pops in his hands as he went to do his usual routine. He threw the light towards Izuku's face, hearing the gasp as Izuku lost sight of him, and then threw the mean right hook, throwing months of agression into it.
When it collided with Izuku’s unknowing face, he heard the crack. Because he didn't have danger sense anymore and because Katsuki hadn't had any self control, he had completely shattered Izuku's nose. The scream the boy yelped out made Katsuki's hearing aids screech. He dropped to his knees, immediately searching through his own smoke for the boys face. He grabbed it, feeling the wetness from blood pouring out. A few of the others made their way over, seeing that something was wrong. “De-Izuku” He tried wiping the blood, only for Izuku to wince at his touch.
Izuku still hadn't said a word as he tried to stand up on his own. A crowd had begun to arrive as Katsuki could already feel tears forming in the back of his own eyes. He had hurt him, he had promised not to ever hurt him again, and now he had broken his nose. “Let me stand up” He finally said, quietly.
Katsuki put his hands under the others armpits to try and help him stand. Before he could realize what happened, he was on his butt with his hands protecting his fall. Izuku had shoved him off of him. “Izuku-” He said confused.
“I said let me stand up, not help me stand up” He snapped. The few people around him were all deadly silent as the tears then began to fall, from Katsuki and then from Izuku.
Katsuki stood up with a hurry as Izuku's shaky body poured blood from his face. At this point, recovery girl was already making her way over in a hurry while Aizawa-sensei and All Might arrived with disappointed faces. “Izuku, I'm sorry, I forgot-” He tried to apologize as Uraraka held a tissue to his face.
Izuku wouldn't look at him. “It’s fine, Kacchan” He said stoically. “It’s my fault for being weak” Uraraka lowered the bloody tissue as Katsuki felt everyone's eyes shift to him.
Katsuki had felt like a complete and utter ass. It had been years since the bullying, Izuku and Katsuki were so close now. Yet, in moments like this, Katsuki could still see the lasting and permanent effects that his words would have on Izuku forever. He still saw himself as weak and useless because Katsuki had drilled it in his head that he was. It gave him proof that no matter how many times Izuku told him he was forgiven he was never forgotten. “Shoo” Recovery girl came up finally, asking everyone to step back. She replaced Uraraka as everyone slowly began to disperse again. Sorrow on their faces. Sorrow that Katsuki had caused. “You too, young man” She turned to Katsuki.
“I wanna make sure he gets to his room” He told her, refusing to move.
Izuku still wouldn't look at him. “I don't need you to baby me Kacchan” Izuku spoke dryly.
Katsuki couldn't even be embarrassed by the tears on his cheeks that outnumbered the injured ones. “I'm not, Izuku” He begged. “I fucking feel bad-”
“Would you feel bad if you had done this to Kirishima?” He turned, finally staring at him dead in the eyes. “Or Shouto?” He asked again.
Katsuki stared at him with wide eyes. What was he implying? “I-”
“Exactly” Izuku answered when the words wouldn't come out. “Don’t treat me different just because I'm quirkless again” Recovery Girl went to retrieve more items from her bag as Izuku held cotton to his nose.
“I’m-i’m not” Katsuki choked back. “Izuku, I'm allowed to be worried for you when I went too far” He felt himself growing angry.
Izuku scoffed, spitting blood out from his mouth. “Yeah, well this isn't the first time you've broken my nose and I forgave you then too” he laughed. Katsuki reeled back. It was the first time Izuku had brought up their middle school days since Katsuki had apologized. It was the first time Izuku had willingly thrown it in Katsuki's face that he was an asshole. He felt at a lose for words, he felt like an entire brick had just been dropped in his gut, like barbed wire had been wrapped around his throat. Izuku looked up, when Katsuki was too pale to speak. “Kacchan” His tone changed. “I didn't mean that” he went to grab his forearm. Katsuki pulled back. “I’m sorry” Izuku remorsefully spoke as recovery girl arrived back.
“Don’t be” Katsuki managed to choke out, hurrying out of the gym so no one else could see him cry.
Eijiro had been by his side as he vomited that night.
It put him in his place and made sure that he remembered he would never deserve Izuku by his side.
Of course, by some sort of cosmic karma, bigger than them both, he had developed deeper feelings than admiration. Katsuki was never attracted to anyone. He had never experienced a real crush and had never felt the jittery feelings his other classmates talked about when you meet someone you like. And now, that he had finally caught up, started experiencing the rush you get when the one you like touches you or the fond look on your face when you see them for the first time in awhile, it was all for nothing. He wouldn't allow himself to have this. He had already torn the label of best friend from anyone that tried and he wouldn't selfishly alow himself to go any further.
Because he didn't deserve it.
The air was chilled this morning as his feet hit the pavement one after another. The headphones in his ears blasted as he felt the first bead of sweat drip down his forehead. This was good. This was productive. This was much better than thirty minutes ago when he woke up on the couch, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Izuku. He turned up the music to a deadly volume in his ear to drown out his own thoughts. It was still dark outside as he jogged through various sites of the resort. He ran until he felt he was pushing it, his heart rate increasing beyond measure of the device. He made it back into the lobby, where the world was still sleeping. He washed himself clear of his feelings and sweat, with the cool water of the hotel shower. He got dressed and then redressed for the day when picking an outfit felt more difficult today than it ever had before. Eventually, he got around to checking his phone for the first time since he had turned it off last night.
Pinky
(13 new messages)
Sent 11:19 p.m.
He swiped out of her messages promptly, knowing they were just more teasing for his rare moment of emotional expression last night.
Eiji
The picture of you and Midoriya turned out great! <3 proud of you man
Sent 12:03 a.m.
Image.28713
Sent 12:03 a.m.
Image.27464
Sent 12:04 a.m.
The image made Katsuki's stomach sink. They looked so happy, arms around each other and faces flushed. They looked, from the outside, like they were meant to be that close, favored by fate. From afar, no one would question Katsuki for trying to take another step. He crushed his own thought and swiped over seeing the second image Eijiro had sent him.
It was another picture, from that same moment. Only this one was taken when neither boy was aware. After the first image a tuft of green hair had swiftly blown itself acrossed Katsuki's vision, wildly untamed and the wind not favoring it. Remembering what Izuku had done to his hair in the hotel room, he had wanted to return the favor. He had grabbed the boys arm to keep him still while he gently ran his fingers through the green mess, fixing what he could without product. When he was done, he had jokingly grabbed Izuku by the chin to inspect his work, eyes squinting and mouth pinched.
Izuku had let out a boyish giggle at the act, face still red from the attention on their picture. The photographer had clearly captialized on the distracted moment, zooming in an the action. It left them with the image of Katsuki's hands pinching those freckled cheeks. Izuku stared up at the owner, who you would never know was Katsuki unless you were there. He had a loving grin with wide pupils and deep dimples.
Katsuki couldn't take his eyes off it. Izuku had always given him this same look growing up, like he was the one who hung the stars in Izuku's sky. Seeing it from another perspective made Katsuki ache, he didn't even know what he was doing to him.
He deleted the message before he could let himself save it.
Me
Don’t send that to Izuku.
Sent 7:02 a.m.
He held his breath as he scrolled down to the next message which was from the nerd himself. It was sent about ten minutes after Katsuki ran off and he prepared to read another apology that the man constantly thought he owed him.
Nerd
Turned the hot tub off.
Sent 11:49 p.m.
Knew you’d worry about it.
Sent 11:49 p.m.
He stared at the message as if the words were coming from those cracked lips he was imagining. And he was worried. Amongst everything else that had kept him up last night, wondering if Izuku had actually remembered to turn off the hot tub they trasspassed was irrationally high on that list.
It felt wrong to just like the message after he had ran off last night, but saying any words to him felt like dangerous territory. He made a mental note to not drink for the rest of the trip. He racked his brain about the message for a stupidly long time before hitting him with a simple ‘Thanks’ and quickly swiping out of it.
The final message came from Shinsou. It was the only one he had received this morning.
Brain fuck
Breakfast?
7:11 a.m.
Shinsou was the only person on the trip that probably got less sleep than Katsuki last night. He was also the only person he knew of that considered themselves an early riser and a night owl while simultaneously carrying a bad mood into both of them. Nonetheless, after he transferred into their class for second year Katsuki had no choice but to get closer to him as he was the only one willing to train before 6 a.m.
Me
Heading down now
7:23 a.m
He could push out the tiredness with black coffee and some food if he tried hard enough. The last thing he needed was to let himself put his guard down. He needed to figure out a way to conceal these feeligns, remove himself from proximity, and then inevitably move on. It was the only way to go about it. Last night had been a lapse in judgement that he wouldn't allow himself to feel again for the trip, or the wedding, or the rest of their goddamn lives.
Katsuki headed down to the first floor of the hotel, his mouth filled with cotton from the run and the lack of sleep and the constant gasps of air he seems to be taking as his heart races. Just as he imagined it, the lobby is completely barren as the accommodating hotel breakfast opens with the smell of fresh food and brewed coffee. He doesn't wait for Shinsou as he makes his way to the machine, pushing the small red button to send a gust of warm liquid into his styrofoam cup. He watches the steam billow up from the spout as he lets himself wonder again. Too often lately is he finding the place in his head a place that he involuntarily finds solitude in.
In the quiet of the lobby, where only his breathing and the whirring of the machine can be heard he lets himself, for only a moment, consider an alternative to his problem. A scenario in which he would let himself pursue the things sworn to secrecy. He imagines telling the other how he feels. He imagines a face looking back at him with admiration rather than disgust. He imagines nothing changing but the early morning of touch and the late nights of whispered words. He lets himself picture a life in which he comes home to someone, him, and he doesn't have to feel the pain of the empty and white bed, he doesn't have to wonder if his heart may stop in his sleep because someone, him, would be there to protect him. He imagines seeing the other tucked under his arm or maybe he would be the one tucked, and they would admit their faults and chase their strengths and the past would be something they only thought about in fondness.
He imagines, because he cannot feel it in this life.
“Dude” The sound of another voice behind him caused him to jump, spilling the contents of his cup down his arm. He turns to Shinsou, staring at him with concerned eyes and a turned mouth.
When he looked back down he realized the machine had probably been pouring for a few minutes now. He didn't feel the boiling liquid streaming down his heat proof hands. He had been so lost in thought he had lost track of long he had been stuck watching the billowing steam and searching for alternate universes. “Shit” He moved to grab a napkin from the side of the table,
ignoring how Shinsou was still lookig at him.
The other helped wipe down the surface as Katsuki cleaned his own forearms. “You doing okay?” He finally asked reluctantly.
Katsuki couldn't even bring himself to feel embarrassed by the whole situation, he was just tired and too focused on one emotion to focus on another. “I didn't sleep for shit last night” He mumbled.
Thankfully, Shinsou was not one to judge, at least when it came to sleep schedules, so he took the mumbling for what it was and got them both fresh cups of coffee instead of investigating further. Katsuki took it from him, sucking it down in one go, before refilling it again. “Not good for the heart” Shinsou commented snarkily, although Katsuki knew it was from a place of genuine concern.
Katsuki chose to ignore it anyway as the went through the buffet style breakfast foods. He loaded up on rice and eggs and hoped they would fill this empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. Shinsou filled his own plate behind him silently, with no complaints by the lack of small talk. When they sat back down Katsuki focused on shoving the food into his mouth and the caffeine down his throat.
When 20 minutes of aggressive silence and avoidance of eye contact had passed, Shinsou finally braved to speak up again. “So, are you planning on telling me what the longing eyes and pouty mouth is for this morning?” He took a long sip of his coffee as Katsuki glared at him from acrossed the table.
He knew he wore his heart on his sleeve. Hardly anyone ever had to guess what Katsuki was feeling, but almost no one actually knew what was going on in his mind. “I told you I didn't sleep” He snarled before taking a sip of his third, and probably final if he wanted to live, coffee of the morning.
Shinsou scoffed. “Yeah, and you never sleep,” He laughed. “Usually you got the mean eye brows” He mocked Katsuki's face with a scowl. “But this” He pointed at Katsuki's face. “This is one of those Midoriya faces” He leaned back.
Katsuki leaned forward on the table, pressing both palms against the surface. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He got in the other's face, just as quick to anger as he was at 14. Izuku seemed to have that effect on him.
Instead of answering, Shinsou was looking past him, ignoring his proximity completely. He reached up a hand to push on Katsuki's shoulder, gently shoving him back into his seat. Katsuki was about to speak up again, ask what the hell was wrong with him, when someone else spoke instead. “Oh! Hi Kacchan!” He heard Izuku's voice ring from behind him. “Hi Shinsou,” He continued.
Katsuki tried to relax in his seat but for some reason he could feel every nerve firing, from the calf muscles tightening in his legs to his right eye twitching. “Hello, Midoriya” Shinsou smirked as he answered for them both.
Katsuki turned, preparing himself to face the beast behind him. Right as he moved, Izuku moved too, placing his hand on the back on Katsuki's shoulder. “Kacchan are you–” They both looked down to the scarred hand touching him. Izuku took it away like the skin beneath it caught fire. “S-Sorry” He chuckled dryly. “U-uh are you okay– th-this morning?” He fumbled with his words.
Katsuki was hoping the time between the question and his response was shorter than it felt in the moment. “M’fine.” He turned around, choosing to stare at Shinsou’s smug face given the dangerous alternative.
Izuku of course moved to where both boys could see him clearly instead. “Good!” He laughed awkwardly again. “I was worried something was wrong with Auntie” He let his hands rest on their table, Katsuki took his own hands off it quickly.
He felt like a fish out of water trying to focus on responding. “My mom?” He looked at the other confused before distracting himself with the ugly paintings hung up around the dining area. The nerd was always rambling about something nonsensical anyway.
Izuku leaned forward, getting way too close to Katsuki's face. “Auntie?” Izuku sounded concerned. “You ran off from the hot tub last night saying you needed to call her?” Izuku was making it very difficult to avoid eye contact. “Are you sure you're okay? You seemed pretty freaked out” He continued questioning.
This time Katsuki made the mistake of making eye contact with Shinsou instead. He was already looking at him with raised eye brows and a shitty grin. “S-She was fine” He nodded. “Just a needy hag” He picked up his chopsticks uselessly, his body begging to explode something.
Izuku gave a relaxed smile back, looking between both boys. “Ah, good!” He laughed. He turned to Shinsou to include him in the conversation. He was always good at making everyone feel included even when he was an outsider himself. “Kacchan has always been really caring, even if he is grumpy” He gave Katsuki's head a small pat, to which Katsuki quickly leaned back from.
Uraraka was quick to arrive with Asui and Todoroki, who distracted Izuku long enough to leave the two of them with a small wave and a big smile. Katsuki leaned back in his seat feeling like he could finally take a breath again now that the man was outside of his reach. He felt his breath leave shuttering as he exhaled the jittery feelings and picked his chopsticks back up. “Oh my god” He heard Shinsou say from the other side of the table, staring at him with a wide mouth
Katsuki shifted uncomfortably, hoping by now the red on his neck and his bashful expression was gone. “What’s your problem?” He asked in his usual and gruffly deep voice.
Shinsou was grinning an off-putting grin that was rare for the stoic man. “You finally realized, huh?” He asked Katsuki, leaning forward so no one else could hear them.
Katsuki felt a small part of his barely working heart stop. His stomach ached as he turned the words over in his head. The weirdo could brain wash people but he sure as hell couldn't read their minds. He took another breath of relief. “What the hell are you on about?” He tried to play cool, even as his sweat beaded down his back.
Shinsou took his gaze over to the table across the lobby. Izuku sat with a few of the others as he downed his breakfast and laughed with the table. Katsuki watched them too as Shinsou turned back to their conversation. “I don't think you'd like if I said it out loud” He answered instead.
Katsuki wasn't dumb. He was slightly emotionally inept and a little slow on the street smarts, but it was obvious and apparent that Shinsou knew exactly what Katsuki was feeling. Stupid idiot had to be born with the ability to crawl into people's minds regardless of his quirk. “I don't know how I feel yet” He partially lied. It wasn't completely true because the overall feeling of attraction was there but he also had refused to unpack what else lay between them.
Shinsou’s cocky smirk faded as he watched Katsuki's guard come down. “You and Midoriya alone in the hot tub, huh?” He tried to joke. “The gay awakening was bound to happen sooner than later” He slapped his arm.
Katsuki swatted it away. “I already knew I was gay” He argued dumbly like he had any advantage in this conversation.
“You gonna do anything about it?” He finally asked the question Katsuki had dreaded to ask himself.
Katsuki swallowed the water in his mouth and the pain in his throat. “Can’t” He said the only word he could spit out. “You know I can’t” He clarified voice losing its edge slowly.
Shinsou scoffed back at him. “Yeah, fuck that” He laughed dryly. Katsuki could only look back at him confused. “You always do this shit” He looked geniunely annoyed at the answer he had received from Katsuki. “Just like the first 8 years of your hero career” he shot his hands out. “Don’t think any of us missed the way you held yourself back until you could make Midoriya's suit” He pointed out. “Or the way you could pass him now and still choose to chase him instead”
“I couldn't pass him” Katsuki found himself interjecting.
Shinsou relaxed a bit. “That part might be true but the consensus stands” He leaned back. “You revolve all your choices based off that man” He pointed subtly to where Izuku was now taking everyone's plates for them to put up. “You have shown him more love than you ever did hatred” Katsuki didn't have time to formulate a response before he watched Shinsou wave someone over. “Babe,” He called out.
Kaminari turned around as he entered the lobby with Sero. He hurried over, eager to see his boyfriend even though they'd likely woken up in each others arms. Katsuki's mind drifted to the thought of yellow and purple hair tanged together like their limbs underneath the blanket. The grumpy man waking up next to the ball of sunshine that was the other. Did Shinsou become softer in the presence of Kaminari? The answer was yes as Katsuki watched the purple eyes simmer into a pool of love as the other moved closer. “You called?” Kaminari teased as he rested against Shinsou's arm.
All Shinsou had to do was lean back far enough and let his eyes wander back to Izuku's table as the people emptied it and headed out for the day. Katsuki watched in horror as Kaminari's eyes found Izuku and then snapped back to Katsuki. “Mhm” Shinsou confirmed as if they were having any real conversation here.
Kaminari's eyes widened, a small bolt of electricity casting around his pointer and middle finger. “YOU REALIZED?!” He slammed his hands on the table, his mouth in a beaming smile.
Katsuki instantly reacted, grabbing the man by the collar and shoving him into the empty seat. “Will you shut the hell up?” He said through gritted teeth, as he watched Izuku’s small group pass by theirs with confused faces.
He made sure to avoid direct eye contact with any of them as Kaminari waved at them dumbly. “Sorry” He now whispered uselessly as they left the room. “But, seriously” He moved closer. “You actually finally realized” He said it as if someone's life were on the line.
“It’s a cold day in hell” Shinsou added in smuggly.
“I think there might be pigs flying,” Kaminari laughed along with whatever the hell he and his boyfriend were on about.
Shinsou allowed himself to laugh at the joke. “You’re kidding” He said back, them completely ignoring Katsuki at this point. “Katsuki Bakugou actually understood his feelings before Izuku Midoriya” He elbowed his partner. “The moon will definitely be blue tonight-”
“Can you both stop speaking out of your ass and pay attention to me again?” He finally snapped.
Kaminari shut his mouth as he was about to speak. His face softened a little at the apparent stress written all over Katsuki's face. “Look man” He looked at him with an understanding and mature face. “No one here thinks you don't deserve him” He smiled. “Especially not Midoriya,” He added. “I mean you saw how miserable I was pinning after him for years” He pointed to Shinsou. “Thats how its felt for all of us since we met you two”
Two things happened in Katuski's brain just then.
Number one being that Kaminari just casually mentioned that everyone here knows about some hidden romantic implication between he and Izuku's relationship and number two being that everyone here has been watching it play out since they were fifteen.
“You fuckers aren’t gonna leave this thing alone i’m guessing?” He looked between the two of them.
Kaminari shrugged as if he was thinking it over. “Probably not, man” He finally admitted. Katsuki stood up, chair throwing back annoyed as he went to exit. Kaminari stood up just as quick, pulling his boyfriend with him. “This crew is a meddlesome bunch!” He said cartoonishly.
Katsuki had already made it to the elevator, rapidly pushing the button to end this horrifying conversation. He was tuning out whatever apologies and excuses Kaminari was still blabbing at him, as he waited for the elevator to arrive and whisk him away from reality that was setting in.
“I could always just brain wash him into sending you a nude or two if it doesn't work out” Shinsou shrugged when Kaminari had finally silenced.
Kaminari howled at the ridiculous joke as Katsuki entered the elevator alone and starting counting the seconds up. Tried not to picture what a nude from the world's greatest hero would even look like. Tried not to imagine sending a picture of himself back, taking the nerds breath away as he reached down to rel-
There was no way he was gonna make it through the goddamn day with exploding shit.
And it was even less likely he was gonna make it through the trip without completely falling for Izuku Midoriya
✧✴❀✴✧
The first stop of the day was some aquarium that Mina had been super excited for when she learned it was only a few kilometers away from the resort. The extras had all packed up in various taxis to make the short trip to Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium in their casual outfits and cameras. Katsuki tried not to feel totally disgusted by how touristy they all looked. It was very likely they'd be recognized while they were here too, since it was the first time all 16 of them were making an extremely public appearance.
Katsuki tugged at the hem of his t-shirt while he watched out the window of the taxi. He, Mina, Eijiro, and Asui were all packed shoulder to shoulder as they made the short drive. Somewhere behind them the others were doing the same thing. When they arrived, the loud sign covered with sea animals and dazzling lights made the rest of the car whirl with excitement.
Katsuki was just feeling anxious.
Not because he didn't want to be here and not even because he would likely see Izuku, but something more that was peeling away the comfort in his brain. Something about being perceived by the others as some yearning young lover who won't take the bold leap. Something about the others pitying him like they did for so many months after his death. Something about them all knowing in their heart why exactly he didn't deserve what he wanted to have.
The thoughts were drowned out as they all piled into the frigid lobby, likely kept cold for the safety of the animals. Katsuki hated the cold. His body worked on heat, his body needed sweat. He reached into his backpack he had brought and pulled out a navy blue hoodie he had packed just in case. Enough to bury him in the safety blanket of nitroglycerin.
There was an immediate dispersal as people began to see directions towards creatures they were dying to observe. Some of the girls ran off to the stingray petting exhibit. Kaminari got a group of guys to follow him to the eels, or as he called it, his aquatic brothers. Izuku had followed Uraraka into the gift shop and the happy couple had started making their way down the tunnel where fish swam all around.
Katsuki found himself stuck in the spot right by the door. He wasn't one to ever complain about being alone. He wasn't one to get his feelings hurt when invites weren't extended to him. He definitely wasn't one to feel a sting in his chest when he felt like a bother to people he considered his friends. That's why he definitely wasn't having trouble moving through the aquarium alone.
He took a few steps towards the shark exhibit, because sharks were obviously the coolest thing here. The chatter of people congregating in the lobby slowly died as the lights around him dimmed and blue reflections of water casted around the walls besides him.
Soft music played through his hearing aids as he found himself watching. In the far corner of the tank was a shark whose fin was clipped. He was burrowing himself away from the others like he was scared or maybe hurt. Katsuki watched him carefully as his dark eyes pierced the cool water. Maybe he was that shark. He found himself thinking ridiculously. Too hurt, too harmful, to be too close to others. Protecting himself from the judgement the other sharks in the tank would give him. Removing any pity that could be handed his way.
He was about to turn to leave when movement caught his eye again. It was another shark, one of five, moving in the direction of the one Katsuki had claimed identity to. It moved slow, unalarming. The shark didn't back down as his acquaintance moved in. Katsuki found himself just staring, enamored by the interaction. What would the shark do? Would he run? The intact shark nuzzled closer to the injured one, encouraging it to swim forward. Katsuki's breath became shallow as he waited for what the other would do. Was moving forward, moving on, just as hard for all walks of life? After a few moments of convincing, he watched as the shark timidly began to swim side by side next to the other.
No one was ahead, no one fell behind. They tackled the journey together, no matter the circumstances they were in. Katsuki let out a shaky breath as he realized his eyes had betrayed his face at some point. He wiped the wetness from his cheek, mentally cursing himself for the tears. Heroes weren't supposed to cry over hardly sentient beings finding friends in their fish tanks.
He sucked in a sniffling breath and went to move to the next exhibit alone. As he turned, he stopped short at the sight that was in front of him. Mina and Eijiro were looking at the other tank of sharks behind him. They were holding hands as they talked and poked fun at the other. Mina point as the shark barred his teeth, before squeezing Eijiro’s cheeks to show his matching canines. Katsuki let out a small laugh to himself as he watched them longingly. A sword fish passed and Eijiro excitedly pointed at its sharp figures. He tugged on his soon to be wifes antennas, mocking her right back.
She huffed in annoyance before a smile of admiration crossed her mouth. Eijiro tugged her in close, as if they were the only ones in the room. His hand tightened on her lower back as he brought his hand up to her cheek. Katsuki had seen them kiss plenty of times, especially when they first got together in their third year. But watching something this intimate was different. There was a softness to it that caused Katsuki to be unable to look away.
His eyes lost focus as his mind took over. “Bakubro!” His head whipped back to the couple who were now looking at him. He felt embarrassed being caught on his own. Eijiro waved him over excitedly, still holding on to his girl. He took careful steps, shoving his hand into his hoodie pocket. His friend made no short time in throwing his sturdy arm around Katsuki once he got close enough. “Watcha doin’ all alone” He teased, squeezing Katsuki's shoulder tightly.
Katsuki threw it off as grumbled something inaudible. “You know you could've just asked us to hang!” Mina added in squeezing his arm.
It felt wrong to be between the two after the intimacy he had just witnessed. They should be focusing on each other, not putting Katsuki between them. “Didn’t want to interrupt your couple shit” He mumbled. “Didn’t want to be around the loud extras either” He lied to himself.
Mina giggled. “Whatever explody-boy” She ruffled his hair. She might be the only person on the planet that could do that and get away with it. “We were about to text you anyway to come see the jellyfish with us” She poked his arm. He could tell she was lying but he didn't want to point out how pathetic he was being.
“Okay” He agreed as the three of them took off together. They didn't unclasp hands as they walked in front of him. Eijiro would run circles with his thumb over her pink skin. She would squeeze him harder when she wanted him to look at something on her side. They made small talk as they wandered from exhibit to exhibit, the sound of water and laughter from children around them. Katsuki felt more content with them in his space. So content, he hadn't realized he had asked the question that had been lingering on his mind the entire time outloud, until he saw their faces looking back at him through the reflection of the angel fish tank.
How did you guys know you liked each other?
It must have slipped out after ruminating through his skull for minutes. He turned around, trying to seem confident in his slip up rather than admit it wasn't something he meant to spout out. “Us?” Eijiro asked a little warily.
“Who else” Katsuki snapped accidentally.
They both softened up when they saw him deflect into defense mode. “Right” Eijiro smiled as Mina curled up against his arm. “I'm glad you asked” He continued smiling before looking at Mina for help on the answer.
They both thought for a moment, searching the others eyes in a silent talk. “I guess that's kind of a hard question,” Mina laughed awkwardly. Katsuki studied her as her pink cheeks became pinkier in a blush. “I guess for me” She put a hand over her floral tank top. “It was like I woke up one day” She laughed again. “I had always felt drawn to him” She smiled up at his friend. “In middle school and high school I just always felt like I needed to keep him there” His grip on her became tighter as Katsuki analyzed their love for each other. “And then one day, It just all switched” She snapped her finger. “He went from being Kirishima, loud and brazen, to Eijiro, gentle and kind” She smiled so gently, lost in thought of their younger days. “As soon as I realized my feelings I couldn't go on any more” Her eyes flashed back to her other. “Not without him at my side”
Katsuki gulped down the lump in his throat at the familiarity in her words. At her side forever. How lucky was she. He heard Eijiro sniffle next to her as he tried to maintain his composure at her rare but genuine words. “I love you, babe” He kissed the crown of her head before looking at Katsuki again. “For me,” He started, wandering his eyes just like she had. “It was always there, whether I knew what it was or not” He sighed. “In middle school I admired her from a far, I put her on a pedestal above everyone else” He shook his head in disbelief. “I couldn't believe it when we both made it into UA” He chuckled. “I always felt like I wanted to be as brave and heroic as she was” He smiled down at her blushing cheeks. “It didn't take long for me to understand that I didn't want to be her anymore I wanted her” He squeezed her tighter.
Katsuki felt his heart quicken just as the heart monitor beeped. Eijiro and Mina both looked over to him, worried as he quickly shut it off. “It's been weird lately” He tried to excuse. He looked down to the floor, trying to find words his therapist would tell him were kind. “I-I'm glad you found each other” He finally said.
When he looked up they were both looking at him fondly. “Me too, man” Eijiro said a little uncertain.
Katsuki nodded bluntly. “Well” He tried to move on. “That’s all I wanted so i’ll head off and let you guys-”
“Listen babe” Mina cut him off, grabbing his wrist before he could move. “If this is about your feelings for-”
“I dont want to talk about it” He cut her off right back.
They didn't argue as he pulled away that time. He didn't leave the bench by the shark tank for the rest of their time there.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku couldn't stop himself from fixating on the piece of information Monoma had given him last night. When Katsuki had died the last thoughts on his mind were Izuku. Izuku? Of all people? Not his mother and father or even All Might or his friends…Izuku. They hadn't really brought it up again after it happened. Days before, Katsuki had laid his entire feelings bare in front of Izuku and the entire class, then only moment later he was dead on the dirt. They didn't watch the film, the didn't talk about it, and they did their best to move on.
Izuku always wondered how Katsuki was so okay with the fact that he had gotten a second chance at life. He hardly flinched when people talked about his heart. He seemed to be relatively unbothered by it, meanwhile Izuku nearly had a panic attack just by the sheer mention of losing Katsuki again.
This is why he had to stop with whatever he was doing lately. The lingering touches, the desire to hug him tighter. He had to cut it out before Katsuki went running from him again like he did all those years ago. He had freaked him out in the hot tub last night, being much too forward than Katsuki was used to. With his other friends like Shouto and Ochako, they were used to his touch. He was always affectionate and clingy growing up, he just must've forgotten that was part of the reason Katsuki had hated him. He didn't want to go down that path again, didn't think he could handle it if Katsuki felt disgusted by him all over again.
So he wouldn't.
He would give him space to breathe and things would be okay again.
That's why, after he completely screwed up by touching him at breakfast, he made sure to beeline to the souvenir shop, where Katsuki would never be found dead, when they arrived to the aquarium. He only turned around once, allowing himself to glance as Katsuki stood by the entrance alone. Why was he alone? Why hadn't he followed anyone else? A part of him screamed to go back and be with him, give him someone to walk through the exhibits with. But the louder part of him told himself that Katsuki would follow where he wanted to go. He didn't do things he didn't want to.
So Izuku turned back around and made his way through the busy shop with Ochako. She was quiet again, like she didn't quite have any words to say these days. Izuku trailed behind her for a bit before they both ended up on opposite sides of the store. He ran his hands over stuffed animals of various sea creatures to be seen at the aquarium. Key chains climbed their way up walls, sea shells and colorful rocks clambered on tables where children played with them. Izuku loved watching people's eyes light up as they found exactly what they needed to remember there experience here.
Maybe he should get something. Was it silly to buy something before you'd even looked at the exhibit yourself? He saw Ochako picking something out herself and decided to scan through the key chains before heading out. There were too many options, big, small, glow in the dark, glittery. There were sea turtles and dolphins and fish he didn't know the name of and even some seagulls and pelicans and too many options for Izuku to think straight. He should just choose his favorite, but did he even have a favorite?And now he felt like he had to buy something since he had stood here so long. It would be rude to just walk out now.
What's my favorite sea animal? Kacchan would have a favorite. He thought to himself with ease. Kacchan always had an opinion and Izuku always loved listening to them. He tried to think like his friend would. Kacchan would likely think that the best sea creature was one that could kill just about anything, probably big and scary, but sharp and cunning. His eyes drifted around until they landed on a keychain of two grey sharks. That's it. Of course Kacchan would thnk the shark is the best. He picked it up without thinking twice.
He could give this to him later! Or, no, would that be weird? No, it shouldn't be, Kacchan gets him stuff all the time, like food and drinks and All Might collections that drop while he is busy teaching. Surely getting him a gift at the gift shop, because he would never do it for himself, isn't weird.
He moved to the check out line before he could think otherwise and pulled his credit card out. 6000 yen. Definitely a steep price for the little thing and definitely taking advantage of the fact that this place is a tourist trap. Oh well, Izuku didn't have two jobs for nothing.
They offered him a small plastic bag to which he declined and opted for just carrying it in the pocket of his jean shorts. When he walked out of the shop Ochako was there, waiting for him as she leaned back against the tiled wall. “Ready?” He asked her gently.
She was staring off somewhere, eyes turned down to match her mouth. Izuku followed her eyes as they landed on two girls around their age sitting next to each other on a wooden bench near the front. It looked like they had just gone through the gift shop themselves as they now surprised each other with small stuffed animals and cheap chocolates. Ochako nodded her head slightly as she leaned back up from the wall and left without seeing if Izuku would follow.
He did, of course, more out of concern than out of excitement to tour the aquarium. He watched her, from a few steps behind as she quietly observed the water consuming them. They had gone in the opposite directions as most of their friends and Izuku wondered if she had made that choice purposefully.
At some point she had just stopped as if she found what she were looking for. There in front of them was a bright tank filled with purple lights. Jellyfish swam in harmony before their eyes. He came up behind her gently, not wanting her to conceal herself again in fake smiles and bubbly laughter. He wanted her to show her true emotions, wanted her to confess them.
He moved in, his finger tips just barely grazing her elbow. She didn't look back at him when he pulled her in to his arm, her head laying gently on his shoulder. He didn't look down on her as he heard a small sniffle come from her nose and feel the wet traces of what could only be tears.
She didn't shake or cause a scene, she just let herself cry for only a moment as they watched the fish together. When the time had passed and the tears had dried, he finally had the courage to ask. “What’s wrong Ochako?” He whisepred it, the echo still casting in the quiet room.
She sucked in a shaky breath as if she wasn't sure she wanted to answer. He felt her relax a little against his shoulder as she made her choice. “You know” Her voice was low and rough. “If no one gave them a reason to, jellyfish would never sting anyone” Izuku pinched his eyebrows together, confused by the change in conversation. “I mean look at them” She pointed. “They are one of the most beautiful creatures here” She sounded almost angry. Izuku just nodded along. “Of course they'd put their defenses up when everyone talks about how scared they are of her-” She cleared he throat. “Them” She corrected.
It made sense to Izuku now. Ochako hadn't dealt with Toga’s death well. She had isolated herself, cried herself to sleep, pushed the other classmates away. She found her in everything she did. She created an entirely new form of agency just to protect kids so wouldn’t grow up to be like her too. It was painful and hard to watch as she broke herself down those first few years.
Izuku remembers finding her in her dorm room, arms bloody from blades, blabbling on about how she didn't deserve to have the blood Toga gave her still inside. Izuku had been the one to carry her to Recovery Girl and stay by her side as she got bandaged up. The scars from that night still carried with her today. Izuku squeezed her tighter. “I know you miss her” He said quietly, feeling the way she tensed beneath him.
She moved away from him now, pulling back to look closer at his face. The hues of purples around them casted a lilac shade on her solemn face as she searched his. “I just” She choked back, trying to remain composed. “I just thought this would be easier” Her voice broke near the end.
Izuku grabbed her wrist, scared she may run off or try to change the subject. She hated being the center of attention, especially when it was met with sympathy. “What would be easier, Ochako?” He asked gently. He had learned how to soften his voice a little better during his time as a teacher.
She looked away from him, focusing all her attention back onto the jellyfish. For a moment Izuku wondered if she had given in again. He was worried he had lost her to the whims of the world again, and she would never say what she needed too. “Seeing everyone fall in love” She finally whispered as they both kept their eyes forward.
A few chattering voices came and went as they remained in the quiet together. He turned to her, just barely looking with his peripherals. “I'm sorry” Was all he could think to say. It felt dumb to apologize for something so great and unchanging. It felt pitiful to try and comfort her in something he could never understand.
She sighed, finally drawing her eyes back towards him. She moved her hand from his grip to brush her bangs from her face. “I mean everyone's starting to pair off” Her voice became sharper. “Shinsou and Kaminari, Shouto and Sero” She sighed. “Mina and Kirishima’s wedding is only the first of many” Her voice cracked again. Izuku didn't really know what to say. He hadn't thought of it like that. He guessed he was in the same boat as her, being completely single as their friends settled down.
He sighed, he was so bad at this. “We're still young” He said dumbly. “There is still time-”
“She was it for me” She cut him off, eyes stonily again. “She was the only one who saw me and she died without me ever telling her how I felt” The words came out sharp. It was the first time Izuku could remember her actually saying these feelings out loud, at least to him.
Izuku took a moment to think. He felt like whatever he said would be the wrong thing. He didn't understand how it felt to lose someone like that forever. “Ochako,” He said as gently as he could. “She loved you, of course she knew that you loved her too”
He heard her sniffle again, not wanting to make eye contact any longer. “If she knew that then she wouldn't have died for me” She said plainly. “She would've stayed by my side, we would've made it work” She argued. Izuku didn't have any more words of comfort for her as he watched her curl in on herself. He watched as she brushed her hair back and tried to start pushing the emotions down again.
Izuku watched the jellyfish quietly next to her. He didn't want to reach out and touch or say anything that could cause her to close even further. So he just stayed by her side like she had just claimed she needed ten years ago. When enough time had passed, and he assumed the rest of the group was likely wrapping things up he gently nudged her along towards the exit. “Ochako,” He said quietly as he guided them.
“You’re lucky, you know” She spoke quietly, rather than responding to him.
He paused in front of her, lost in her claim of his fortune. “What?” He asked, words barely leaving his lips.
Her brows pinched as she studied his confused face. Eventually, her eyes softened as she picked at her bottom lip with her teeth. “Someone died for you too that day” She said boldly.
Izuku's chest instantly flared in a painful thump. Black whip would have likely strangled Ochako for those words, regardless of how much he loved her. The quirk was a beast that was guided by the heart of one who couldn't tame it. “I don't understand” He said a bit louder, trying not to grow frustrated that she had brought it up.
She sighed shakily, a regret forming on her face. “You said it” She explained. “You said she died because she loved me” She accused. “You said that she knew I loved her back and that's why she was okay with it.” Izuku felt the words like bullets through the chest.
“Ochako” he warned her.
“I'm just saying,” She said sharply. “If I was given a second chance, if she was given a second chance,” She looked him straight in the eyes. “I wouldn't have spent ten years wasting it” She turned her eyes away from him again as they made their way back to the exit. He stayed silent as she did, his mind whirling with emotions. How had he wasted the last ten years? He and Kacchan were closer than ever. Why was she projecting her own feelings onto him? When they rode back to the hotel and got dressed for dinner Izuku could only focus on one thing.
Had Katsuki thought the last ten years were wasted too?
✵ Katsuki ✵
Dinner that night was a resort-hosted bonfire that they held ever friday night. Since tomorrow was Halloween, there were tons of people flooding the lobby and beach with costumes and masks. Katsuki annoyingly pushed his way towards the exit as they all quickly lost each other in their normal attire. They were going to dress up, which Katsuki thought was completely stupid, but it wouldn't be until tomorrow night when they went to a club hosting a Halloween bash. Katsuki had been against the idea, they wore costumes everyday, but Eijiro had been completely sold on doing a ‘Cowboys vs Aliens’ theme between the group. So now, the night before Halloween, they were being forced to eat their meal while being surrounded by a bunch of knock-off harley quinns and latex-y batmans.
The smell of roasted meats and ocean salt filled the beach as strangers filled the seats around the fire. There was a bar on one end that Katsuki would not be touching tonight. He had completely lost his grip when he drank yesterday and now knew better than to let his guard down like that again.
He felt an arm sling around his shoulder as the crowd made their way to different areas of the party. He could tell from the copious amounts of vanilla perfume and the hair tickling his cheek that it was Camie hanging off him. A few of the others had been pregaming since they got back from doing touristy shit a couple hours ago. Judging from the tinge of sour mixing with the usual swee,t she was likely drunk. He pushed her off, although being more gentle than usua,l incase she really was plastered. “Bakugouuuuuu” She sang out, admitting defeat as she distanced herself from him.
“Big tits” He replied back.
She slapped his arm, making him grin a little. It was more fun to pick on the pros when they didn't have the reflexes to fight back. He grabbed her hand before it could attack him a second time. “I’m gay I get the pass” He argued.
She was already leaning on him, allegedly in forgiveness, as she used him as a guide through the crowd. Ironically, out of all the others in the class, even Izuku or his mother, Camie Utsushimi was one of the very first people he came out to back in high school. Katsuki thinks it was something he always kind of knew about himself. He never found interest in girls and quite frankly, they had never really found interest in him either. After the war tons of the first year girls had given Katsuki and Todoroki, deemed the two most handsome, a lot of attention. It was overwhelming after years of not having experienced the letters in your locker and the chocolates on Christmas Eve. When he found himself more put out than curious about all the new found attention, Sero had finally asked him why don't you like this? After he went on for another minute or two about how much he would be loving the attention, it was like a switch flipped for Katsuki. Cause i’m gay, he had said casually. And to his shock and Sero’s, it hadn't been a big deal. It was something that came out into the air without much thought and he shrugged it off.
He damn sure wasn't embarrassed by it. He had one of the most badass quirks out there, not to mention he had taken down one of the single most powerful villains ever created. If people cared so much about what got his rocks off they could shove off and die. He called his mom later that night, no anxiety filling him. His parents had always thought of him as the best and he had no reason to think they wouldn’t still think that. His mom had howled into the phone claiming that ‘You've been helping me with fashion advice since you could talk’ And hung up not long after. His dad had just sent him a sappy message about accepting him.
From there on he had told Eijiro and then All Might and finally Izuku. Out of everyone that he felt he could tell so easily, without fear of judgement, telling Izuku felt like one of the hardest things he had ever done. And why? He had no idea at the time. Izuku had always been, unlike Katsuki, a person free of judgement for others. He never cared whether people were different, even the ones with meta quirks that were typically outcasted. So why telling him that he didn't find interest in big boobs or wide hips felt like the most anxiety inducing thing in the world he wasn't sure.
He remembers nervously knocking on Izuku's door one night when most of the class had left for winter break. They had planned on leaving together the next morning to spend time with both their families. It was inevitable that his mother would bring up his new found identity and he certainly didn't want Izuku to find out like that. He can remember the stupid tears in his eyes for the split second that Izuku's face changed, like maybe he would be disgusted or maybe even laugh in his face. But then, the bright smile appeared as he dumbly perked up with a me too! Before correcting himself and explaining that unlike Katsuki, he could find himself quite enjoying different aspects of women as well as men.
At the time he thought maybe it made him nervous that he would finally receive the back lash that he deserved from Izuku, maybe he would make fun of him just like he was owed. Now he understood his younger self better. He was afraid that Izuku wouldn't be like him. He was afraid that he wouldn't fess up, would only be interested in the opposite sex and Katsuki would never stand a chance.
He knew that now.
Well as of 24 hours ago.
Or maybe before then too.
He wasn't sure anymore. Mina and Eijiro had confused him with the whole you know and then you don't know and then you suddenly know. Either way it didn't matter because that's just it. It didn't matter.
After telling the closest people in his life, he didn't find it necessary to keep going. He didn't want to make it anymore of his personality than it needed to be. His first and only priority would be hero work. That was until Camie started heavily pursuing him sometime later that spring. She had always been flirty, he wasn't completely lost on that. It especially reared up when she had joined him and Todoroki for the remedial exam. Her flirting became physical, and somehow she had eventually gotten ahold of his phone number, and then somehow they had ended up doing an internship under Best Jeanist together second year, and the final straw had been when she ask him to go to dinner with him after the Hero Gala they were invited to as guests.
He had been so avoidant of her pursuits that it had bubbled up far past the point that therapy had allowed him to conceal. The look on her face when he had screamed that he was gayer than her tits were big had been one of shock. But just like everyone else before her, she instantly accepted and even embraced it.
She had tried many times after then to call him her gay best friend which was absolutely not happening. More so because of the fact that he was Izuku's best friend and also fuck the stereotype! Either way she now saw them as closer than they really were and he didn’t have the heart anymore, literally, to tell her to fuck off.
That's why when he made his way to the fire he gently sat her down hext to Momo and went towards the bar. No, not for any alcohol, he promised himself. Instead he needed water. His throat was aching, his head hurt, and he desperately needed to do something with his hands besides squeeze them in a death grip at his side.
The bartender was quick but annoyed with the free drink order as Katsuki refrained himself from chugging it all down, and instead carried it back to the open area. As many people as there were in the area, their large group of 16 people still took up a decent chunk. He saw a few options as to where he could spend his time. There was an empty spot next to Sero and Todoroki which wouldn't have been horrible except for the fact that they were all cuddled up and Katsuki didn't want to look like a loser third wheel. Then there was the spot where Uraraka and Asui were chatted aggressively about something, probably girl talk, and Katsuki decided he probably didn't quite fit in there either. The last two options were the empty bench where Izuku sat completely alone and was currently giving Katsuki those big puppy dog eyes that screamed come sit with me or the bench hed left Camie at with Momo who was currently holding back her blond hair as she hurled into the grass behind them.
Cool, he could do vomit.
He made his way over to the girls, sitting down without saying anything and ignoring the way Izuku’s eyes followed him with concern. He nudged the girl when she was done hurling and handed her the water he had only taken a sip of. The ice was already melted from the proximity of the fire and his hands were getting too clammy anyway. He answered her thank you with a grumble and kept his eyes on the fire in front of him.
He watched quietly as the tips of the flame turned into that bright blue just before fading out into the night. He looked over to see Todoroki looking at it too. And right next to him, directly across from Katsuki, was Izuku still looking at him alone.
His eyes weren't soft anymore like the were early in the night. They had shifted to something dark and sharper. The orange hue of the fire casted on his freckled face as he moved his eyes over to scan the others. Katsuki could still feel him paying attention him though, keeping him in his vision even as he looked other places. He was so distracted watching the other watch him that he had missed when someone else had taken a seat right next to him, too close. They were now squished with four people on the bench as Camie shifted from his shoulder to Momo’s
Katsuki only turned when he saw Izuku's eyes drift to his left. That's when he felt the pressure of someone else's presence there. The man was on the shorter side, but broad and tan and was looking at Katsuki with a smirk. “So” He said casually, even though Katsuki had hardly acknowledged him. “You sure don't look interested in those two” He pointed to Momo and Camie who were singing some korean pop song playing on the speaker together.
Katsuki scoffed a little at his boldness. “M’not” He admitted.
The man leaned a little closer, the alcohol on his breath making Katsuki cringe a little. “You think you could be interested in someone like me?” He asked with deadly eye contact. His eyes were some of the bluest Katsuki had ever seen. They were piercing him, making him feel vulnerable.
If this were any other time, on any other night, he would’ve told the guy to fuck off and that his breath reeked of desperation, but he could feel the green eyes across the fire watching harder. He wasn't even trying to hide it this time. “And what kind of someone might that be?” He answered instead of replying.
The guy actually chuckled at that. Anyone with two eyes knew this guy was handsome. The bright blue eyes paired with the dark brown hair and the– the freckles on his cheeks. Katsuki reeled back when he saw them. They were scattered, all the way up his forehead. There was so many, too many. When he caught himself staring, he looked up to see the mans eyes watching him again, only this time the blue seemed too unfamiliar next to the constellation beneath them. “Well, telling by the way you're looking at me” He smiled, flashing his too perfect teeth, no chips, no dents. “I’d say I'm someone you could find company with tonight” He grinned. He reached to grab the empty cup Camie had downed. Katsuki watched his fingers wrap around the plastic cup, straight, unscarred, barely used hands.
His arms were thick as they moved across Katsuki's vision but they weren't rough. This man clearly had an office job, as the flashy gold watch reflected the fire. Katsuki realized he was speaking again without him having heard a word. “Sorry” He finally looked back up. “Bad hearing” He pointed at his hearing aids. “What’d you say?” He asked slightly embarrassed.
The guy laughed, thankfully forgiving whatever weird brain freeze Katsuki had been having. “I said, let me get you a drink” He smiled again, only this time it was disinterested, maybe even weirded out.
Katsuki just nodded, feeling stabbed by the attention. He could feel his friends watching from different directions like he was putting on some kind of show. When he watched the man pass by the bar and completely throw away his cup all he did was sigh. The man wouldn't be coming back, and for some reason, that stung. Not because Katsuki liked him, he hadn't even learned his name, but it was just further proof that he wasn't made for something like this. Would he spend the rest of his life finding pieces of Izuku in everyone else around him?
Would he ever find a man that wouldn't have reflections of the hero in his eyes? Could he find someone that hung the same stars in Katsuki's sky, saw him as the broken person put back together, and still love him? Would he have to settle down with someone with freckles just so he could bare to look at their face or would that too only be a reminder of his inability to move on? Maybe he would just never move on, find comfort in watching Izuku like he had for all this time. Maybe he would be an uncle to his children and have to pretend that them not having bright red eyes didn't hurt.
He looked back up, hoping to catch the other distracted, maybe someone would have sat next to him too. Instead, Izuku was looking at him with worry. As soon as they made eye contact Izuku perked up, like he had been waiting.
Are you okay, Kacchan?
He held the ‘Ka’ over his chest while he waited for Katsuki to respond. Katsuki felt his throat closing from the sight. His nose twitched and his eye brows pinched as he felt the familiar wave of pressure caused by tears.
I'm fine.
Was it a lie? He didn't know anymore.
Izuku replied quickly, I didn't like that guy anyway
Izuku signed it with a roll in his eyes, trying to make light of the situation. Katsuki was only humiliated. Of course he had picked up on the fact that Katsuki had completely weirded that guy out. Izuku never missed a fucking thing.
He just went to get me a drink.
He didn't know why he was lying. He didn't know what he was trying to prove. He didn’t know what the fuck he had been doing all day. All he had focused on was avoiding Izuku and yet somehow Izuku had still picked up on his sour mood and somber expression. Two of his other friends were sitting inches away from him and didn't know a damn thing was running through Katsuki's mind. And yet, here Izuku was ten feet away, head peering through a blaring fire, reading Katsuki like he was an All Might comic.
Izuku turned, finding the guy in the crowd who now had an arm wrapped around another girl. Watching Izuku see it hurt him more than seeing it himself. Izuku turned back to him, a sad and remorseful and pathetic face on.
Katsuki was angry and humiliated and wanted to do nothing more than run.
His eyes burned as he peered through the inferno as Izuku started signing back.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku always felt braver when they were signing to each other. Hardly any one could understand what they were saying and Izuku didn't have to deal with the stupid stutter and mumbly voice that Kacchan hated so much. It was like their own secret language, a way to be a bit braver.
What he didn't like, was the way Katsuki's face changed when he realized the mysterious man talking to him wasn't coming back. He had always had a hero complex. Even when they were far too young to be thinking about others before themselves. When the pressure of everyone looking up to him had gotten under his skin he had completely shut off as a functioning human.
Izuku had always been able to see through the strong facade of a person who never had feelings to hurt. Izuku knew that Kacchan was actually very tender hearted, and sometimes, when it was inconvenient, he was also very insecure. He had been watching him all night. He hadn't wanted to, but his eyes always found Kacchan like they weren't meant to look at anything else. He didn't like the feeling when he saw the man curl up next to the other and he didn't like when he felt a slight relief when he left. He had found his eyes turning up in satisfaction that Kacchan hadn't successfully woo’ed the man. That was until, he turned back to see the grim expression all over his friend's face.
Everytime he had saw Kacchan since last night, he was in this deep sort of thought, similar to the one Ochako had been in. He thought about her words as he turned back to the solemn face. The man had his arm around a new person now, having completely disregarded Kacchan entirely. Kacchan wasn't someone you just threw away, he was someone you cherished. He was someone who deserved all the good in this world no matter what kind of idiot tried to ruin his night.
He slowed his thinking, feeling himself begin to seethe. Kacchan had lied, had told him he was okay. I wouldn't have wasted it. The words played like a drum through his mind. Katsuki was waiting for him to respond, an angry scowl on his face. One Izuku recognized. Kacchan was embarrassed, he was retreating back into his younger self, one where he felt like Izuku didn't love him.
Because the truth was, Izuku did love him. In a close second to his mom, came the boy he had grown up with and grown close too. It wasn't something they said it was just something they inherently knew.
The orange light of the fire looked so natural on the other, his blonde hair turning a golden shade and his red eyes mixing into a sunset burgundy. He looked away from him, intimidated by the eye contact. Izuku was never embarrassed when he was caught looking at Kacchan anymore, anyone with eyes would. Izuku watched his lips twitch, biting them to stop the restlessness. He watched him bring his hands across his face as if he was trying to prevent himself from running.
Kacchan has always been a runner, from Izuku, from himself, from the inevitable.
Izuku wasn't. Izuku faced things head on when they came at him. The wind blew the flames to the side, forcing Izuku to move over to keep watching him. Was this weird? Was admiring your best friend so closely, watching them as if they were the only one here, something someone should feel shame in? If so, then Izuku would just have to except that he was disgraced.
The cool air from the ocean, not too far away, ran goosebumps across his arms as he watched Kacchan’s eye turn towards his again slowly. It was as if everything around him narrowed. The world slowed as those red eyes found his. They looked young and scared and hurt and angry. Izuku recognized those eyes, because it had been the same ones he had seen all those years.
It had been the same ones he had fallen in love with.
His mind didn't halt or stop or freeze at the thought. There was no alcohol in his system whirring his mind into a puddle of desperation. There was nothing lonely in his chest begging to explode.
It just was.
It was like everything clicked into place from the last ten years of his life. Memories of Kacchan went from fondness to yearning like falling asleep. The crackling of the fire caught his mind up to the current moment, where Katsuki was still watching him back, a similar look in his eyes glossed over by tears.
The fire flamed his cheeks as he lifted his hands again. Izuku didn't waste time, he would prove that to Ochako. He may be slow in the emotional aspect of things but, dammit, once he knew what he wanted to achieve, he would reach for the heavens and grab the damn thing. The shark keychain felt like a weight in his front pocket. He tapped with his fingers gently before knowing what he wanted to do.
Come sit with me He signed back.
Instead of watching his hands like he usually did, to ensure he signed with precision, he watched Kacchan's eyes. They were hazy and tired and focused on Izuku's moving fingers.
Kacchan wouldn't say no, he never said no to Izuku anymore. He would come over here and Izuku would give him the gift and he would get everything off his chest. Kacchan would never leave him, even if it wasn't mutual, even if it was awkward. They'd get over it eventually, but Izuku had to get it out now. His smile became wider as Katsuki's hand raised to reply.
We don’t have to be attached at the fucking hip all the time.
Izuku's smile fell much slower than his stomach did. At the blink of a dreary eye Kacchan was up and away from the flames. Izuku must have been drunk on the warmth of the beach or the fairytale day. He must have forgotten his place. He must have forgotten who he was to Kacchan.
A friend. One that was more annoying than useful most of the time.
He wasn't surprised when Kacchan wasn't seen for the rest of the night. Izuku had gotten so lost in his feelings that he had forgotten about the last 24 hours of their relationship. Kacchan had wanted space and Izuku had practically begged to close it.
He reached down, running sand through his calloused hands. When the fire died and Izuku’s picked at food on his plate ran cold, it was uncertain how much time had passed.
All he knew is that the entirety of the time his thoughts were only filled with him.
The one he couldn't have.
The one who didn't want him.
✧✴❀✴✧
He took his time finding his way to the room that night. It was like once he had realized what these feelings were he couldn't just put them away. The admiration, the need to be close, the protection, over-obsessing, desire. All these things that Kacchan has effortlessly pulled from him like they were colors meant to be shown. How long had Izuku been in love with him without understanding his own self. How long had the others watched him pathetically drag himself back to the comfort of Kacchan's presence, forgiving him for the unforgivable like it was the easiest thing.
Oh, god. No wonder Kacchan had hated him for so many years. No wonder he had been freaked out with Izuku touching him. It had probably been extremely obvious to everyone but Izuku that he had been madly in love with Kacchan, including Kacchan himself! He felt like he could throw up what little food he had consumed. He would have to avoid Kacchan for the rest of his life, except for the fact that he basically needed Kacchan like air to breathe.
This is fine, he can forget this. If he could realize it this fast he could turn it off just as fast. Someone died for you too that day. He winced as he recalled the words from Ochako earlier. Yes, Kacchan died for him, and yes, it was his name on his lips when he did so, but Izuku couldn't let his mind believe that was anything more than a heroic act that Kacchan would have done for anyone. He couldn't let himself believe he was special, he couldn't play into the delusions that Ochako was projecting onto him.
His hands felt cold and tired. His legs felt like led as he walked through the halls of the hotel. He would take a shower and wash this off. He would close his eyes and forget in the night. He wouldn't see Kacchan in the same fire lit way as he did tonight. He would be a good friend, a best friend, and ignore any possibility of screwing it up. He would keep his distance and not touch, and not look at the pale skin of his neck or scarred vastness of his arm.
Izuku didn't realize he was crying until he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He had made it to his room after several minutes of wandering around, tiring himself out to the point of exhaustion. He didn't want to stare at the ceiling, he didn't want to let himself picture any what ifs. He reached into his pocket to search for the room key when he heard two voices on the other side. He felt the disappointment in his chest. When he pulled out his phone he had a text from Monoma sometime shortly after the bonfire had concluded.
Monoma
Hot man is coming back with me
Sent 12:04 a.m.
I’m sure Katsuki wouldn't mind a roomie for the night!
Sent 12:05 a.m.
Izuku felt himself break. The tears that had found themself on his cheek only amplified. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to be as alone as possible even if that required a sleeping Monoma a few feet away. He wanted a hot shower that could burn his skin and make his mind dizzy. And what he certainly did not want was to ask Kacchan, after every mistake he had made tonight, if he could stay in his room. The thought of even being in the same room as Kacchan right now made his made his teeth grind, not to mention the fact that he would be sleeping peacefully, probably shirtless, in a bed right next to Izuku’s.
He felt in his back pocket. The pack was still there from earlier. If he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight then he could at least get a buzz from nicotine. His feet moved without his brain, left somewhere still by the fire. They carried his solemn and broken body all the way to an empty balcony, uncovered and wrapped in lights. He could see the ocean from here, could hear its waves. He wondered if he was like the ocean too. Coming close to the shore before always retreating. Did the sand get annoyed by the moisture that came with it? Did the sand ever wish to be let be without the constant roar that was the blue sea?
He pulled the lighter from his other pocket, Dynamite themed, because of course it was. The same orange flame that had sent him here, emitted from the too fitting merch. The orange light likely didn't paint his face in the same glory it had Kacchan. He brought the stick to his lips, the first puff bringing a dull sense of relief. Kacchan would hate this.
He looked at it considering. He had already done too many things worth Kacchan hating, what was one more? He almost snuffed it out, his train of thought deterring him, but then the smoky and burnt smell hit his nose.
It had been the reason he couldn't quit.
He had started the nasty habit as a way to deal with stress and pain after losing One for All. His mind was always as loud and rambling as he was. The distraction had helped. And then, there was the fact that Kacchan hadn't been allowed to use his quirk for an extended period of time. The smoke and ash that Izuku had grown accustomed to filling his lungs just as much as the user had, became barron. It felt wrong to not have his clothes smell of burn and sweet.
Smoking brought it back to him. Gave him relief where there was none. And now that he was here, lonely and hurting, and wanting, and desperate, at least this, at least here he could smell him. Fill his lungs with a fleeting absences. He inhaled again, too fast, and when he exhaled everything came with it. A broken sob of being too much, and not enough, and hardly there, and always lurking.
Of course, some sort of karma would curse this on him. Like a cat bringing back a dead animal to there owner's door. It should be perfect, their story should be perfect, but Izuku was great at fucking up. He was spectacular at taking their relationship and crushing it to bits.
So as he breathed in the salt air and out the smoke trails, he cried. It was pathetic, hopeless. It was the same the gross and snotty sob that Kacchan hated made him weak. He wasn't even crying over his unrequited love anymore, but of all things. Of exhaustion and for Ochako and the fact that he had no where to sleep tonight because she was pissed off at him and Kacchan was disgusted with him.
He was 25 years old and crying like a baby. He snuffed the cigarette out when the feelings became too much and his mouth became too wet to indulge it. He laid his head in his arms and let himself break, because he wouldn’t let himself again. After tonight he would man up like the hero he was and move on.
“Izuku?” He could’ve sworn he heard his name coming from above him in the rough voice he longed for. He was really losing it this time. “Izuku!” It repeated a little more aggressively.
He looked up, a trail of spit left behind on his arm. There stood the man he had just been crying over. He was looking down at him from one story up on his hotel balcony with his arms crossed but a worried expression. “K-Kacchan?!” he quickly tried to wipe any evidence of sorrow off his face. “W-What are you doing?” he felt like he had been caught. Kacchan had seen him cry tons of times but not many over him.
Kacchan leaned over the balcony a little to get a closer look. “I heard you crying” He said casually. “Why?” His fingers ran up and down the railing with anxiety.
Izuku tried to play it off. He hated when Kacchan felt like he had to worry for him. “How did you know it was me?” He forced a laugh. “Who is the stalker now?” His laugh turned into a pitiful cough. He turned back towards the sea so the light wouldn’t expose his tears.
Kacchan didn’t laugh along. Instead, Izuku heard a series of small pops and then a thud land behind him. He turned to find Kacchan standing close on the balcony now with his arms crossed. “I’ve listened to your crybaby tears for 25 years now” He said sharply even though his face was smooth. “You think I couldn’t tell?” He raised his eyebrows.
At least that got a small smile on Izuku's face. “Sorry” He mumbled as usual. “I didn’t mean to wake you” He gave a sorrowful smile.
Katsuki rolled his eyes annoyed. “You didn’t, nerd” He explained. “I just got back from a run” He ran his fingers through his damp hair.
Izuku could see it now. The way his shirt was clinging to his hard abs. The sweet smell of his sweat paired with the ocean air. The way his neck was slightly glistening from the balcony lights. “Ah, I see” He answered stupidly as he forced his eyes away. It wasn’t his to look at.
Katsuki let out a small sigh. “You gonna tell me why you’re crying now or what” He asked impatiently.
No. How could he?
But Kacchan was looking at him with those eyes that could pry secrets from him like petals off a flower. “I, um” He found his lips almost betraying him before his mind caught it. “I don’t have anywhere to stay tonight” He answered in half truth.
Kacchan looked at him confused. “Huh?” His lip pinched up. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?” He asked seriously.
Izuku felt his lip begin to quiver again. “Monoma-“ His voice cracked. “He-well he has someone in there” He looked down at the floor. “So I can’t stay there” He cleared his throat trying to prevent the stream that was already coming. “and well, I can’t really stay with any of the other guy rooms because there all dating” he began to ramble. “And staying with the girls would be weird” he moved his hands in front of him. “Except for Ochako, of course, but I think I made her mad today and then-“ He stopped himself as he looked at Kacchan. “and then you” his eyes searched. “I was trying to give you space after the um-“ He couldn’t look him in the eyes. “After what you said at the bonfire” He finally finished.
Izuku watched the floor as Kacchan's tennis shoes moved in closer. Izuku braved to look up, Kacchan's face completely gone from annoyance. “Izuku” He said seriously. “If you need a place to sleep you can just ask” His face soft.
Izuku felt like crying all over again. “C-Can I stay with you?” He looked up at the other.
Kacchan scoffed. “Nah” Izuku face fell instantly. “I’m kidding, nerd” He laughed.
Izuku took a breath of relief. “So you aren’t—what you said earlier-“
Kacchan sighed. “I was just annoyed with that dude” He admitted. “It wasn’t— I shouldn’t have said that” This time he was the one avoiding eye contact.
Izuku felt a mix of emotions. “You must have really liked him” His voice became something on edge.
Kacchan looked back at him, pupils dilating briefly. “I didn’t” He nearly whispered. They found themselves staring at one another for a moment. Waiting for the other to comment first. Just as Izuku was about to say something, anything, Kacchan beat him to it. “I, uh” he paused. “I’m gonna hop in the shower.” He gave himself a small explosion up to land back on his own balcony. “I’ll leave the door unlocked.” He said from above.
Izuku nodded dumbly, entranced by the ease in which he moved. Definitely not stuck in place by the thought of him in the shower. “O-okay!” He spoke as Kacchan headed back into his room. “Tha-“
He was cut off by the sound of the door shutting. This would be okay. This was better than sleeping outside or getting another lecture about god knows what from Ochako. He had slept in the same room as Monoma last night and it hadn't been horribly awkward, and he had known Kacchan way longer than that prick. They would sleep in their sepeate beds and Izuku could hurry out first thing in the morning. He wouldn't let himself look at the peaceful look on the others face or the messy bed head in the morning light. And then tomorrow, he would tell Monoma if he met someone again they would have to go to their room.
Izuku took one last deep breath before making his way inside. He didn't even have his shower stuff or any clothes to change into. He would have to apologize to Kacchan if he ended up making the extra bed smell like fire smoke. Or cigarettes. He took the stairs to the second floor walking down the hallway to directly above where he had just come from. He tried to ignore his racing heart and deprived thoughts as he grabbed the door knob. It was quiet on the other side, like maybe Kacchan had already gone to bed and Izuku could sneak in and out without being a bother.
He pushed it open, warm wet air hitting his face. Kacchan had always enjoyed boiling hot showers– not that Izuku would have noticed something like that. He shuffled in, keeping his head down. When he finally dared to look up he was met with an image he wouldn't be able to force his eyes away from. It should be considered criminal to not observe the way a white towel clung to Katsuki's hips as he used another to run through his freshly washed hair. His back was still facing Izuku, giving him a few moments to allow himself the time of admiration. Beads of shower water falling from his blonde locks fell gracefully down his strong back. Izuku could see a few of the remaining scars that time and medicine would never bury.
All the way down to his bare feet seemed to be glistening like this in the moonlight shining from the balcony door. Izuku finally heard the door shut behind him, causing Kacchan to finally turn around. “You’re here” He said in a casual tone.
Izuku felt like he had to manually restart his mouth. “Y-Yeah” He said quietly. He watched, trying to remain calm as Kacchan paced around the room with skin care and hair supplements getting ready for bed. Izuku moved further into the room, feeling awkward with the energy he had created with his dramatics. He had been so distracted when he had first entered the room that he hadn't realized the biggest problem of the evening yet.
He toed his shoes off before coming to a complete stand still. Because the room was identical to his, minus one crucial detail. Where Izuku's room had a bed for each Monoma and himself, Kacchan’s only had one. He must've let out an audible noise at the realization or maybe he had mumbled the whole thought process aloud, because Kacchan turned around and said simply, “I can take the couch” Without much eye contact or thought to it at all.
A part of Izuku grew disappointed in the quickness. Yes, they hadn't shared a bed since high school and even then they never spoke about it. And yes, Izuku didn't even want to come here in the first place, but in the few seconds he let his mind think of the possibility of being that close to the other, his heart had elevated. And then, just like everything else, reality had slapped him in the face. “N-No” He argued. “I am intruding on your space. I can take the couch” He nodded. “Plus, I don't have any of my shower stuff, so I don't want to ruin your sheets before they wash them Saturday” He rambled.
Kacchan was lookign at him weird, as if there was more argument he had left in him. Izuku looked back to the bed expecting for it to be full of snakes or needles by the way Kacchan seemed to be avoiding it. That's when Izuku noticed something else. The bed was completely untouched. Kacchan was a clean and put together person, but this bed clearly had not been slept in at all. Suddenly, Izuku felt a dark and ugly part of him coming through. “Seriously, it's fine, Izuku” Kacchan finally said still half naked.
Izuku really looked at him this time. Then back to the untouched bed. Black whip begged in the back of his mind to attack something, sometimes he was grateful it was gone. When he felt like lashing out now there was usually no victims. Izuku couldn't stop himself from asking the obvious. “Have you not slept here?” He turned back to Kacchan who was looking at him like he had seen a ghost.
✵ Katsuki ✵
Katsuki felt his stomach sink. He hadn't thought about the fact that Izuku, analyzing freak stalker Izuku, would notice instantly that he hadn't used the bed. He braced for the impact of Izuku’s lectures on back health and exposure therapy. Instead, when the boy looked back at him he looked pissed. He looked like he wanted to burn down the bed rather than sleep in it.
How was he supposed to answer the question? No, he’s terrified of comfort and dying alone in his sleep, and the bleak whiteness that comes along with hotel accommodated beds. He couldn't look any more ridiculous than he had all day. He hadn't realzied how long he had been thinking until Izuku spoke again. “Was it that dude from the bar last night?” He asked in a panic. “Even after he completely made a full out of himself?” His eyes were narrow.
Katsuki stood there wordless, completely confused. “W-What?” He asked nervously. When Izuku got like this it made him nervous like they were back to being children, like he was going to disappoint someone that looked up to him.
Izuku took a deep breath before taking a step back. “Sorry its none of my business” he spoke like he had caught himself. “I just hope you were safe since he was obviou-”
“You think I didn't sleep in the bed because I was sleeping in someone else's?" He blurted out upon realizing what Izuku was getting at.
Izuku looked up at him with a red face. “Sorry I shouldn't have pried” He apolgized. “Like I said its not my busi-”
“I wasn't" Katsuki explained quickly. For a split moment he thought about lying. He thought about telling him he was with another, just to see what face he would make. Just to desperately hope a flash of something ran past his eyes. But then he saw the way Izuku shut down and he couldn't. “I didnt stay anywhere else” He admitted.
Izuku looked relieved or maybe just more confused. “Then” He turned back towards the made bed, the damn mints were even still perched on the pillows. “I don't understand…” His eyes drifted to the cloth couch that had a pillow Katsuki had brought from home and a blanket from the closet laying on it. Even if Katsuki wasn't half naked right now, Izuku seeing this weakness in him would've left him completely bare. “Did you sleep on the couch?” His expression changed to worry, as he moved towards him.
Katsuki didn't know how to argue his way out of this one. “I–yeah” he admitted, trying to sound confident in his decision. “What does it matter to you?” He huffed.
Izuku let his guard down a little, moving even closer. “Why?”
Katsuki suddenly became hyperaware of his lack of clothing and the chill in the room and the closeness Izuku was reaching. “I was just a little drunk last night I guess” He lied. He had sobered up too quickly in the hot tub.
“You weren't" Izuku said instantly.
Katsuki grew irritated. “I don't fucking know then, Izuku” He snapped. “Does that make you fucking happy?” The words tumbled out of his mouth with instant regret.
Izuku made the same face he had made at the bonfire. The one that had forced Katsuki to leave when he had caused it. “Right,” Izuku said quietly. When several seconds had passed they both spoke up again. “You know-”
“Listen-” Katsuki said at the same time. Both boys stopped talking over the other. “You first” He demanded, tossing his hand out.
Izuku bit his bottom lip. “No it’s silly, really you go-”
“Izuku” He said annoyed.
Izuku jumped at his name. “I was just gonna say it's bad for your back” He said defeated.
Katsuki rolled his eyes. “I knew you would” He huffed.
Izuku twisted his fingers uncomfortably again. “I'm sorry” He apologized for the hundredth time today. “Again, it's not my business” He shut himself out.
Katsuki felt the familiar pang in his chest when he hurt Izuku. The feeling like he had to make it right in order to survive. “I was just going to say” He cut the silence and tension. “I mean, I sleep on the couch a lot at home” He ran a hand through his damp hair. “So it's not much different” He raised his eyebrows with a shrug and moved back to his bag.
When he turned around Izuku was just staring at it again. Like the bed was going to grow legs and walk out of the room. “You can talk to me you know” He turned back to Katsuki. The blond was abruptly made aware of their situation. The dude, his best friend of 20 years, his crush, was about to sleep a few feet from him, with his big muscles and sleepy eyes. Izuku had this ability to pull Katsuki’s guard down, obliterate it. “If somethings bothering you-”
“I feel like I'm dying” He blurted out, distracted by the gentleness of Izuku's voice and the green eyes that seemed to be peering into his soul. His face became erratic at the mention of death. “I mean– Sometimes that bed” It was hard to explain something he had never said out loud before. “I’m not sure really” He gave up. “Just reminds me of that day” He whispered. “Its dumb, but-”
“It's not dumb, Kacchan” Izuku defended too quickly. “There are tons of mundane things I can't get through anymore” He moved even closer, grabbing Katsuki's arm, before making the same face as breakfast and pulling it away even quicker.
“It's okay” Katsuki found himself chasing the touch. Izuku looked back down at his arm before soft fingers reached up to grab it again. Katsuki hoped he couldn't see the shivers beneath where his big hand held him. Their conversation didn't make any sense and Katsuki had lost what it was originally about, but they were always good at letting their eyes speak for them. Izuku’s looked like they were saying more than he was. Katsuki could feel his grip grow a fraction tighter. And so, he pulled away. “I'll take the couch” He nodded. Izuku looked disappointed by the abrupt ending. “You should shower”
“I don’t have-”
“You can borrow mine” He cut back in. He would do anything to get the nerd farther away right now. If that meant letting him borrow some sleep clothes, so be it.
“O-Okay, Kacchan” He gave in. “I'll be quick” He hurried off, finally allowing Katsuki to change in private.
It was going to be another sleepless night. How was he supposed to sleep when he could hear Izuku's steady breathing from the other side? He heard the shower turn on and the sound of clothes being rustled off. He laid on the couch, forcing his eyes shut to numb the image his brain was curating about what was behind the bathroom door. Izuku would probably smell like him tomorrow. His hair would change from the apple-y scent of his cheap shampoo, to the rich bourbon smell of Katsuki’s. He pictured his shirt he let Izuku borrow hanging off of his shoulders as it swallowed him, even if in reality it would likely be a bit snug in the middle.
He tried to keep himself from thinking, but he could only prevent so much. His eyes were coerced open by the sound of his buzzing phone.
Neito Monoma
Ha ha.
Sent 12:31 a.m.
“Motherfucker” Katsuki spoke outloud.
“Is something wrong?” Izuku suddenly stood in front of him. Katsuki hadn't even heard the water turn off. He jumped at the sight. Unlike Katsuki, Izuku had opted for changing inside of the bathroom, which, thank fuck honestly. However, the sight of him in Katsuki’s clothes wasn't much better. The shorts hung snuggly on his thick thighs, much tighter than they did on Katsuki. The black shirt did hang loose around the arms but clung tightly to his chest and hips. How did he somehow look more seductive in clothing than he did without them. “Kacchan?” he asked again worried.
God, he probably thought Katsuki was really going through it after the day they had gone through. Which, he was, kinda. “M’fine” He plugged his phone back into the wall, mostly to keep his hands busy and away from reaching to grab the other.
Izuku looked at him warily before giving in. He moved to the bed, pulling back the covers, clearing feeling awkward about being the one to sleep in it. Katsuki wasn't feeling any much better about it either. He tried to ignore the wrinkling of sheets as Izuku climbed in. Once the sound had stilled, Katsuki reached up to click the lights off without warning. It was silent for a long time as Katsuki waited for the tell-tale sign that Izuku was asleep. He was always quick to start a low snore, not loud but there.
It didn't come. Katsuki grew restless as he waited, no sign of sleep in his own future. He turned, the couch ruffling underneath him. The sound made a soft gasp escape from Izuku’s lips as if he had been waiting for proof of life from Katsuki the entire time too. “Kacchan?” he asked quietly.
Katsuki thought about not answering, the lack of sleep and proximity was making him weak. He may be too honest about whatever he was questioned on. “What nerd?” He finally said back.
He heard the bed rustle as if Izuku was sitting up. “Do you want to hear something silly?” His voice was gentle.
Katsuki knew what was to come. Izuku did this often. He could tell Katsuki was embarrassed about his flaw of sleep. He wanted to give something Katsuki could throw back into his face and make fun of him for to even the score. Katsuki didn't need that kind of thing anymore. He didn't get as embarrassed about his trauma anymore. At the same time though, Izuku hardly ever talked about his own fears. So, regardless of the reason, Katsuki wanted him too. “Go for it” He said casually even though his heart was racing.
Izuku took a shaky breath which made Katsuki on edge. “You know the chalkboard at the front of my classroom?”
The conversation was making Katsuki more confused by the second. “Yeah” he answered truthfully rather than trying to beat around the bush.
Izuku let out a forced laugh. “I couldn't use it for years” His voice was slightly strained, telling Katsuki this was hard for him. “On my first day” He went to explain. “I picked up the chalk, I was so nervous that I guess my grip was too tight” he laughed at himself again before another shaky breath followed. “It crumbled right in my hands” His voice lowered. “Like dust” He nearly whispered. “Just like my arms had when I fought Tenko” He finished.
Katsuki’s heart nearly stopped. He wasn't there when it happened but he had heard about it. Izuku losing his arms briefly during battle. “Izuku” He whispered lost for words.
“Its silly isn't it?” he tried to make light of it. “Aizawa-Sensei noticed” He moved on quickly. “Because of course he did” That at least got a small chuckle out of Katsuki. “He came in there one day and made me write until I stopped crying” He said seriously. “I thought it was ridiculous, but I trusted him” Katsuki agreed with the statement regardless of how confused he was to where this was going.
“What a guy” He tried to laugh too.
“It helped though” He remained serious. “It doesn't bother me now”
Katsuki felt his breath quicken when he realized where this was going. “Thats great, nerd. Now get some rest” He tried to end the conversation.
“Do you think if I stayed-” Izuku spoke before cutting himself off.
Katsuki was equally scared of Izuku saying what he thought and not saying anything at all. “What?” He whispered into the dark.
He heard Izuku stop holding his breath. “Do you think if I stayed with you…” a long pause happened where Katsuki could tell Izuku was waiting for him to explode. “Do you think that could help?”
Katsuki stayed quiet for a long time, maybe long enough to convince Izuku that he fell asleep. He would've gotten away with it if Izuku hadn't known him like the back of his hand. That, and the fact that his heart monitor made a quiet beep as it accelerated. “ I don't know” He finally answered back. It was the truth too. Would sleeping with Izuku give him the peace he seeked for or would it only give him another reason to fight the loss of time.
Izuku was silent for a long time back. “Mine does that too” His voice was deeper than Katsuki remembered it could get. He was probably tired by the nonsense he was spitting. “My heart” He explained when Katsuki didn't respond. The blond shifted uncomfortably again, giving in inaudible mumble. “When I'm around you” He added like casualty was his specialty.
Katsuki didn't know how to respond. Izuku was so much better at comfort and warmth, where Katsuki was more into grit and ice. “Your heart shitty too?” He tried to answer with a joke even if his voice cut off in a squeak.
Izuku took a deep sigh as if he had regretted speaking his name out at all. “It’s always been a little weaker for you” He whisepred. Katsuki didn't respond, couldn't. His throat was closing and his eyes were pinched. He couldn't let himself read any further, he couldn't let himself indulge. “Please, Kacchan” Izuku whimpered. “Your death was my fault–” His voice shattered as Katsuki was instantly on his feet and moving. “At least let me help–”
“It wasn't your fault” He corrected, somehow already finding himself looming over the bed where Izuku laid. “I chose to go like a hero, I chose to–”
“The last thing you said was my name” Izuku’s voice cried, as Katsuki fished for the lamp in the dark. “Why else if not because I was too late”
Katsuki bit his tongue before it could spit out the I love you behind it. “You're the first and last thing on my mind most days” He said, not much better than a confession. He heard Izuku gasp. “Facing death didn't change that” He whispered as the light finally illuminated their conversation.
There Izuku was again, big green eyes wet with tears. “Kacchan”
He gave in to that voice. “If you're not gonna shut up, move over” He demanded boldly. “S’cold” He griped as Izuku was already on the move. Climbing into bed was awkward with his large limbs, as he tried to avoid Izuku's touch. He could feel the nerd staring at him as they sat in silence now. He was picking at his lips as he held in his stupid ramblings. “I didn't say you had to shut up, say whatever you're thinking” He finally looked over.
Izuku didn't speak right away. “Sometimes it still feels like I have black whip” he admitted shyly. “Not actually, but the feeling in my chest when it first appeared happens sometimes”
Katsuki remembered a conversation he had with Monoma. He had been right in front of Izuku the day it had happened. Black whip was always different than the other quirks. It was one that sent chills down Katsuki's spine. He wasn't fond of its twisted curls or the small vibration you could feel when it got too close. Nearly everyone in class at one point or another had felt the tendrils grab them or save them from battle, but not Katsuki. “I never felt it” He said quietly. “Kinda wished I could've" He admitted from exhaustion.
Izuku looked away from him at that. “Thats the thing actually” He said seriously. “I tried to, all the time” He looked out the balcony door as he spoke. “In sparring, even in battle” he sighed. “Black whip couldn't touch you” His voice tightened.
“What?” Katsuki heard himself voice.
Izuku nodded. “When it awakened” He continued. “It was because of what Monoma said” He finally looked back to him with his green eyes. “What he said about you” He didn't elaborate and Katsuki wasn't upset about not having to hear whatever cruelty was spat that day. “I think after that, the quirk just knew you were important to me” He said with finality.
Katsuki took a shaky breath. “It had a mind of its own” He tried to excuse, to himself or Izuku or maybe fate herself.
“No” izuku defended. “Not really” His hands tightened around the sheets. Somehow sitting here shoulder to shoulder was less awkward than it could be. “All the other quirks were attached to my brain. I could control them with ease” He spoke. “But blackwhip” He clicked his teeth together. “Black whip was connected to my heart” His voice had become wet.
He saw the way Izuku was preventing himself from reaching out. He could tell that he ached to be held, but was too scared of how flighty Katsuki had been all day. Katsuki wanted, needed, the conversation to end here, before he could let hope rise to far in his chest. “C’mere” He said quietly, very sure that he was making a horrible decision.
Izuku's head whipped up to his, shocked by the offer as Katsuki extended his arm out. He looked like he wasn't going to take it , leaving Katsuki humiliated, before he quickly scooted forward and tucked his head in the crook of Katsuki's neck. His hand found purchase on Katsuki's chest as he shifted down a bit, body shaking with nerves. Katsuki released his hand, letting in come down to rest on Izuku's hip. It was more intimate than they had been in years. He felt Izuku's top leg come over gently, laying it heavily on Katsuki's own. “Thank you, Kacchan” He said without looking up.
Katsuki allowed himself to peer down at the sight. His bare arm could feel the green curls he saw tucked there. The covers in front of them outlined their tangled limbs. The scarred hand was gripping his shirt as his breathing slowed. His arm, roped with muscle, was holding Katsuki right back. He let himself look as he counted down from ten in his head.
10
The warmth above him.
9
The effortless way they pieced together.
8
The wispy hair tickling his chin.
7
The slip of skin his fingers were brushing on the others hip.
6
Their heart beats aligning chest to chest.
5
The couch across the room completely bare.
4
The freckles he could see if he tilted his head just far enough.
3
The way Izuku did smell like him.
2
The tear falling down his own cheek.
1
The feeling he wouldn't get again.
He flicked off the light, not letting him memorize the image any longer. It was wrong, this was wrong of him. You don't do this with people who you haven't told you have a crush on them. This was something he was crossing the line with. Izuku had wanted it, but Izuku hadn't known. Would he be disgusted if one of the extras told him? Would he feel like Katsuki took advantage of him? Katsuki wasn't always the best person but he damn sure wasn't a liar.
“I think im in love with you” He whispered before he could change his mind. He braced for impact. He prepared for the other to flee. Instead he felt a slight shift against his chest.
And along with it, the snore he had been wanting to hear earlier.
Katsuki took a shaky breath of adrenaline. He wouldn't be brave enough to say it again. He wouldn't be able to with the light of day. So, he let himself have this. He may not get an answer and he may regret the affection in the morning, but for now he just scooted further into the bed, keeping the now snoring boy tucked above him.
He wanted this even if he didn't deserve it.
Katsuki didn't deserve much in this life. He knew that.
Notes:
eeeeeeepppppp no kiss yet...but soon.
also fun fact the sign Izuku does for Katsuki is inspired by my moms first boyfriend who was deaf and had a similar sign for her hehe
Tiktok: maladaptivepisces
comment your thoughts and leave a kudo for more!!!!
Chapter 4: Cowboys vs. Aliens
Summary:
Reupload cause I changed the ending
Notes:
Reupload with edits after feedback.
Chapter Text
✧ Izuku ✧
Kacchan didn’t do things he didn’t want to do, that had always been a fact that Izuku hadn’t taken lightly. So when Izuku woke up in arms sticky with nitroglycerin and strong with years of deligent work, he found himself wondering why now? Why would Kacchan start handing out charity this late in life?
He felt embarrassed at his outbursts last night. He had endured some sort of psychiatric break just because Kacchan had been put out at the bonfire. And not only that, but somehow the only person who could calm him down from said break down was the person who just wanted to be left alone in the first place.
Ugh. He peeled himself away slowly as Kacchan stayed sleeping next to him. The man must have been really worn out from all the planning because he hardly ever slept past Izuku. He tried not to be loud as he turned to stand. “Mmm” The other grumbled. Izuku turned back to a pout that had formed on Kacchan’s sleepy face. His lips were turned down as he kept his eyes pinched closed. “Where y’going?” He asked blearily.
Izuku froze as the deep voice vibrated through his skin. Kacchan had a loose but daunting grip on his arm. Izuku felt himself wanting to take advantage of the way Kacchan's sleepy mind had replaced the events that led them here last night with ones of comfort. “We told the girls we’d go swimming today” He whispered into the air.
It didn't change much as Kacchan's soft breathing filled the silence where Izuku held his own. His grip eventually fell off Izuku's arm leaving it colder than it was before. Kacchan always ran warm and at some point in the night must've over heated. He was now tucked under the blankets, bare chest and arms poking out. Izuku wonder if he woke up to see Izuku still resting on top of him. He also wonders why he was kind enough to leave him there. “Stupid girls” He said a little more awake this time. “M’cold” He complained then, tucking both arms back under.
Izuku smiled down at him, his insides feeling sadder than his face was expressing. “You should keep sleeping” He whispered again. This time Kacchan's answer was nothing but a quiet hum. His eyes still hadn't opened for the day. Izuku knew he should get up, head to his own room and stop intruding on his friends. Kacchan hated sharing his space and Izuku was known for taking up a lot of it. He placed his feet on the cold wood below him, quickly finding the shoes he took off last night and the clothes he had exchanged for Kacchan’s.
Oh, right. Kacchan probably wanted his clothes back. He felt bad staying any longer in case he accidentally woke Kacchan up but he also really hated the idea of Monoma possibly seeing Izuku wearing Kacchan's clothes. He cringed at the creaking of the floor as he made his way to the farthest end of the room. He could quietly take off and refold the clothes and slip his old ones on without making too much noise. It shouldn't be too hard, especially since Kacchan still had his hearing aids removed. He looked back one last time before he grabbed the end of the black shirt and tugged it above his head. It was so bright in the room, it made him bashful. Tokyo always seemed to be dark unlike the golden hue that Okinawa seemed to paint on everything.
He put his dirty shirt back on before refolding the shorts Kacchan had given him and slipping his smoke-ridden jeans back on. He toe’d his shoes back on, checked his pockets for the hotel key and his wallet, and then went to head back out. Of course, it was never that easy for Izuku though, not when he turned, just one last time and saw him still there, now brilliantly painted in the rising sun. The white bed enveloped his pale skin as his arms had already been pulled back out from the covers. His blonde locks were down on his forehead instead of the usual spikes. Izuku loved when it was down. His features were sharp but calm and Izuku could just barely see the top of the scar that covered the entirety of his chest.
His head was moving towards the door but his feet were moving right back to his heart. To the man completely at ease. He made sure to walk softly, even if Kacchan couldn't hear as well right now. He screamed at himself for every centimeter he got closer. All logic was gone the closer he got. It was as if he was being dragged through the room by an outer presence. He watched his breathing chest move up and down as he had already fallen back into a peaceful slumber. Izuku bent down onto one knee right at the bedside. How long did he think he could just sit here and watch before Kacchan woke up and found proof that he was a stalker. The nickname was one that Izuku never found strife in, because if he was a stalker for watching Kacchan so closely all these years then so be it. He would never stop watching.
Just like a couple of days ago when he found his hand moving through that hair, it was happening again. He was more aware of it, more cautious too. He slowly let his finger tips, just barely touch, Kacchan's forehead as he delicately pushed the blonde hair back. There was no shifting movements, no indication he was anything but asleep. Izuku was alone in consciousness and lacking any logical thought right now. He leaned closer, the warm light begging for Izuku to be close. Without forcing himself away and without caring what the consequences were, he leaned forward and planted his lips gently and briefly across the forehead in front of him.
When he pulled back nothing happened. Kacchan still laid there sleeping and silent. Izuku peered over to where the hearing aids laid uselessly on the bedside table. Kacchan couldn't hear him here, and maybe that was exactly what Izuku needed. Because, Izuku had been holding in the words he wanted to say all night. “ I love you, Kacchan” He whispered into the morning air.
He left quickly this time, scared if he didn't leave now that he would never leave Kacchan’s side again.
✵ Katsuki ✵
It hadn't taken Katsuki that little of time to fall asleep in years. He wouldn't have had proof he had woken up at all past the somber confession he had made, if it weren't for the fact that his shirt was off. His body felt cold now, unlike the over heated night he had expeirecned with another 80 kilogram man in the bed. Speaking off, he could now feel his right arm that had been trapped beneath the other all night and he could no longer feel his legs tangled together with the others. He forced his eyes open painfully, as they craved even more sleep than they received. The room was lit with morning light given that they had left the balcony curtains open before bed. He looked over expecting to see green curls spiraled into a tangled mess on the pillow next to his.
There was no one. The bed was tousled and there was a small indent that gave Katsuki evidence he hadn't dreamed the entirety of their cuddle session up. His eyes went to scan the opposite side for his hearing aids when a sight in front of him caught his eyes instead.
Izuku hadn't left, not yet. He was in front of him now, not laying next to him like Katsuki had wished. He hadn't heard him get out of bed. He briefly remembers a conversation they had this morning before Katsuki had fallen back asleep. Sometimes when he took his hearing aids outs he couldn't hear soft noises like the wrinkling of sheets or the whispering of words. Izuku always knew what volume to talk to him in and how to perfect the talent that was navigating Katsuki's hearing loss.
That's why, Katsuki had missed when he had moved to the other side of the room. If it hadn't have been for the freckles that cascaded beautifully down Izuku's back, he would have thought that a greek god had snuck into his room and decided to bath shirtless in the orange light of his hotel room. Izuku was bare, now carefully folding the shirt he had borrowed from Katsuki. He let himself watch as he man kept his back to him. He straightened up, back muscles flexing as he retrieved his jeans where they were crumpled on the floor. Katsuki should look away, could look away at any given moment.
He almost closed his eyes when Izuku reached for the back of his shorts, tugging them down in one solid motion. The stripped blue boxers were the only thing covering that hard and dedicated body. His legs like trunks as they stepped into his tight jeans and white socks. Katsuki did look away as he leaned down, too scared to see what his ass looked like bent over. He wouldn't let himself go that far. He almost wished he could hear, as he watched the nerd mutter to himself about something. He was always talking out loud whether he realized it or not. Katsuki had grown accustomed to it rather than the annoyance he had felt for so many years.
Izuku looked like he was about to head out as he patted through his pocket in a mental checklist. Katsuki's eyes were half lidded and wholly focused on drinking in this hidden moment that he was watching. Just as he was about to decide that Izuku had left, the man rounded the corner again. Katsuki jumped slightly, scared that he had been caught watching him get dressed like some sort of crazy stalker. Izuku was the known stalker not him. He forced his eyes closed trying desperately to listen for footsteps.
He couldn't hear them, even though he could feel Izuku getting closer. He eventually saw a cast of darkness on the insides of his eyelids that told him Izuku was standing next to him. He was scared to move, he wouldn't be able to hear when Izuku left. He felt the bed dip a little as if Izuku had used it to kneel down next to him. What the hell was he doing? He tried to keep his breathing shallow, hoping his stupid heart monitor wouldn't betray him this early in the day. In and out he kept repeating. When he was about to come to the conclusion on his own that he was gone, a soft touch grazed his forward. He was lucky he didn't jump at the feeling. The rough tips of Izuku finger tips just barely rested above his eyebrow as he tried to keep from physically moaning at the touch. How long had it been since someone was so gentle with him? A human bomb being touched with such care.
Izuku moved to two fingers to brush his, rare but messy, hair from his face, cool air hitting it like rain. Katsuki couldn't think, couldn't feel any other part of his body besides the fire under Izuku's hand. He felt dizzy and lightheaded. If he wasn't freezing right now it was likely that the bed would have been set on fire at this point. Just when he thought it couldn't be any worse Izuku leaned down and pressed his warm wet lips to his forehead.
He begged his eyes to stay closed and his throat to say silent as he sucked in a subtle yet screaming breath. He saw the shadow stand up, likely say some sort of whispered goodbye that Katsuki wouldn't stand a chance of hearing, and then leave. He counted 45 seconds before he let himself open his eyes.
When he did the light seemed harsher now, not golden but fiery. His arms were no longer cold but molten lava. His insides were dizzy and were now fluttering away without him. What the fuck had just happened. Did Izuku act that casually with everyone? All those nights he stayed with Todoroki or Iida? If he had stayed in Uraraka's room last night would she have woken up to the same small gesture? Did he not realize what that did to people?
He tried to picture Izuku waking up with some hookup, early in the morning, maybe before a shift. Did he lean over and change their delicate balance like he had just done? Was this something reserved only for friends, did strangers get his soft touch or only his rough grip?
He tried to stop his spiraling as he finally stood, more unsteady on his feet than he had been in years. He should feel rested, rejuvenated, but he only felt sick. He wanted those lips on his, no one else's. He wanted to sleep as hard and as soft as he had last night. He wanted too much to ask for. He would return to the couch tonight, full of aching backs and restless turning. He wouldn't get to feel the safety he had in the comfort of his friend.
But maybe now at least, he could try to steal the lingering touches that were offered by the one even strangers found consolation in.
✧✴❀✴✧
It wasn't warm enough to be down on the beach this early. The water was far colder than it was by lunch time and several of them were wearing sweatshirt or pants as they stood on the beach. What they had planned on being a beach day had turned into them piling onto various blankets to sit and watch the waves crush on the shore. Katsuki was fine with the exchange in plans, he hated swimming or being wet in general. It left him vulnerable not to mention that it was boring and quite frankly gross. So just sitting hear quietly observing the ocean was enough for him.
Everyone seemed quiet this morning, likely tired and hungover from the night before. They had a big night ahead of them so Katsuki could imagine most of them turning in for the day to converse their energy for the night.
It was Halloween, an odd way to celebrate on the beach. Tonight they were going to some famous club that Mina had requested called Club Epica. Apparently, every year they throw some insane Halloween party that Mina was just dying to attened. Katsuki couldn't say he was looking forward to it but he could say he was excited to watch his friends make fools of themselves on the dance floor. Since they'd be in costume it would at least be a little harder to identify them or their hero identities. Half of them would likely be drunk off their asses before they even made it there, but Katsuki had at least gotten to pass the torch to YaoMomo for the night as babysitter.
Some of the girls wanted to go shopping for their intricate cowboy vs alien costumes. Katsuki had found all the items in his closet. Dark denim jeans, a flannel, a cowboy hat he still had from the one western photoshoot he had got roped into with Eijiro one year, and some expensive leather boots his mom had insisted he keep from high school. Most of the girls however wanted to go as aliens and to them that required new shiny skirts, bright face makeup, and god awful heels.
Katsuki wasn't mad about the group breaking up a bit today, they had spent the entirety of the first two days together and would probably be up each others asses until early into the morning. He was perfectly content just sitting here and relaxing and not having to hear one of those stupid extras comment on how–
“So tonight's like the perfect night for plan ‘Get Bakugou laid’, isnt it?” At some point a small circle had formed on the beach that he hadn't realized he was apart of until Hagakure had spoken out of thin air, literally.
He looked towards her, eyes landing on the beach instead as she spoke. Without meaning to, his eyes drifted to Izuku, who of course he knew was there, because how could he not feel the gravity of those lips that had touched him. The same green eyes dropped to the sand as he caught himself asking a silent question. Would you be okay with that? He didn't respond back as everyone started formulating plans.
“You’re going as a cowboy right?” Uraraka asked.
Before he could answer, Kaminari was speaking. “Yo man, make sure whatever shirt you're wearing is unbuttoned” He winked. “Show off the rocking bod” He laughed. Katsuki scowled back, even though he was now considering taking that advice. He could loosen up, he could be fun if he wanted to. “Izuku you're wearing that vest I gave you right?” Kaminari continued.
Katsuki's eyes drifted towards him again, still wordless and silent. “Ah” Izuku scratched his face a it blushed. “I don't know” He laughed shyly. “Don’t you think it's too much?” He looked over to Katsuki like he was asking him directly.
Katsuki didn't know what the hell vest they were talking about. Probably denim, maybe to go over a flannel like Katsuki’s? It didn't seem like a big deal. “Just a shirt, nerd” He found himself saying. He didn't like when Izuku acted like the same scrawny middle schooler who was too afraid to wear his nerd shit to school.
Izuku’s eyes flashed back to him, almost hurt. Katsuki mentally cursed himself. He wasn't trying to be rude, he was trying to say something, anything , after feeling like he was drowning all morning. “Okay, I'll wear it then” Izuku said confidently but Katsuki could here the challenge in his voice.
Their small group of heroes fell quiet as Izuku and Katsuki stared at each other in some kind of argument. “I was already planning on wearing the shirt open” He said to Kaminari as he looked at Izuku. Were they really doing this? Some sort of challenge to who can lure the other in first? Was Katsuki going insane, high off the fumes of Izuku, that he actually thought Izuku might be playing along. “Don’t worry about me getting laid either, it already happened” The words came before his brain could catch up. WHAT??
Not only was that a complete lie that he had no story to back up with, but he had told Izuku less than twelve hours ago that he hadn't stayed anywhere else. He wasn't a liar, this wasn't like him at all. Whatever it was, competition, or jealousy, or mutual pinning however unlikely, it was completely and utterly ruining him. “Dude what?!” Eijiro nearly screamed. “And you didn't tell me?” He clutched his heart. “You’re my best bro, man!” He sounded distressed.
Katsuki couldn't hear it over his ringing ears. He wanted to rip his hearing aids out and throw himself into the middle of the ocean. Dying in Okinawa was a hell of a lot better than in the floating coffin he had the first time. There were sveeral other comments he wasn't listening to. Shrill voices of the girls and arguing voices of the boys. He didn't dare to look up until it died down. When he finally braved to look back at Izuku, he was already up walking back towards the resort without a word. He held his shoes in his hands, not bothering to hang around any longer to put them on. His steps were fast and hard as Katsuki watched his figure until it faded.
He had this feeling in his gut, the same one he had gotten when he received the letter that Izuku had left UA. A feeling like he hadn't been able to save everything, like if he saw Izuku again it wouldn't be the same. He didn't chase after him though, he wouldnt let himself do that anymore. “He is probably just upset you didn't tell him” Uraraka suddenly said.
When he turned everyone was watching him watch Izuku. Kaminari was giving him a look that told him he didn't believe a word he had just said anyway. Uraraka looked more concerned for Izuku than him. “It's not his business anyway” He stood up angrily, sand flying up from his feet.
“Bakugou, come on man” He heard Kaminari call him as he was already reeling in the same direction Izuku had stormed off in.
“They’ll figure it out eventually” He heard Eijiro reassure the group as he made his way back to his room.
A part of him felt bad, he did, but another part of him was pissed . Pissed at himself for lying, pissed at Izuku for bringing that side of him out, pissed at his friends for pushing him until he broke. His hoodie wasn’t keeping him warm. It wasn’t hot enough on the beach. There wasn’t sweat covering his palms. His attempt to create small enough explosions to release the tension consuming his body was futile.
He threw open his bedroom door, not minding as it hit the wall behind it. This wasn’t like him, not anymore. He was supposed to be better , be a hero. He wasn’t supposed to be someone that told pitiful lies just to get underneath Izuku’s skin anymore. He looked to the unmade bed. They had been wrapped up and comfortable less than an hour ago. He reached for the pillow that the green hair had barely laid, being too involved in Katsuki's arms. He grab it with a curled fist a hurled it to the other end of the hotel room. “ Fuck ” He yelled.
It was the sort of outburst he hadn’t had in years. One that scared him. His breathing became heavier than it should. His heart monitor was blarring at him, begging that he calm it. He grabbed his hearing aids from his ears and threw those across the room too. Be damned with hearing, it had only gotten him in trouble today.
In a final act of annoyance, he threw himself down on the bed. It smelt like him. Somehow through the smoke and the shower using Katsuki's supplies, Izuku was still seeping through. He closed his eyes as tight as he could, pushing his mind to places other than him.
It was insignificant. Compared to the fights they have had over the years of pulling and pushing this shouldn't have been something that brought them down. Izuku had been the one to start it, Katsuki thinks. He had been the one who had looked at Katsuki practically begging him to comment on whatever fucking vest he was planning to wear. He was also the one who snapped at him first. Izuku had lied in a way too. Sometimes not saying anything at all was worse than saying something untrue outloud, at least this is what Katsuki was rationalizing.
He tried to think of a time it wasn't like this. A time where he didn't feel like his every emotion and every move was dictated by Izuku Midoriya. When was the last time he felt like he had made a decision that was fully and unremosrefully hi?. He couldn't.
From anger to grief to love, the reckless man had always been the center of Katsuki’s brain, regulating his emotions and seeping into his quietest of thoughts. Even if it had taken Katsuki this long to understand the feelings went deeper than envy or pride, they had always been there bubbling under the surface like an acid ready to melt through.
He tried to think logically, no matter how hard that was given the circumstances. Izuku would likely be mad at him for either excuse he came up with. It was a draw between, I didn’t lie to you but for some reason I felt like lying to everyone else or he could double down on lying in the first place.
Realistically, Izuku would get over this. It may not be before the trip or the wedding but he would be back to his cheery self in no time. The problem was, that Katsuki had a lot less endurance for Izuku’s heartbroken face than he used too. He pulled out his phone to see if anyone had messaged him about it since he had been back.
Nothing.
Being the bigger person sucked, but being the reason Izuku was hurting sucked worse. He pulled his phone back out and without letting himself think to hard pushed call. It rang once. Once. Before the stupid fucking message rang through his ears.
Hello! If i’m not answering the phone right now i’m probably teaching my plus ultra students or helping keep the streets of Japan safe!! Call back later!!!
The voice sounded too fucking cheery, and that slimy bastard definitely wasn’t busy right now. Fine. If he didn’t want to hear Katsuki's groveling apology he would get a have assed text instead.
Me
Need to talk.
Sent 11:03 a.m.
He had barely put his phone down by the time the receiving buzz came in.
Nerd
No (¬⤙¬ )
Sent 11:03 a.m.
Oh that was fucking it. He wouldn't let him just ignore this when they had both been in the wrong . He stood up from the bed and threw his door open again, this time a little remorseful for the hole that was probably in the wall by now. He tried to calculate how the day had gone so fucked in such little time. If their stupid friends hadn't opened their stupid mouths then maybe they could've ignored the whole cuddling thing and went on with their merry days, but no. Now they were having some sort of tissy fit over who slept with who and who is wearing what. His long legs took the stairs two at a time until he made it to the fifth floor where Izuku was probably hiding in his room. Before he could even calm his racing heart he was pounding his fist against the wooden frame. “IZUKU!” He didn't even try to hide who was at the door. The nerd would open up and they would talk or Katsuki would blow the damn door down.
Izuku was quick to pull the door open, his face neutral and smug. “I’m only opening this because I know you'll blow it up if I don't" He said snarkily. At least he knew him. “That would make me look bad” He emphasized.
Katsuki scoffed. “Why did you stomp off a second ago?” He demanded.
Izuku scoffed right back, holding the door only as open enough to talk through. “You know why, Kacchan” He rolled his eyes.
Katsuki moved closer, forcing the door open more. “No I don't think I do” He quipped right back. “Was it because I talked to someone who wasn't you for once or was it because I didn't immediately tell you?” He dug right under the freckled skin.
“It’s because you lied!” Izuku's voice was distraught. “I don't care what you do, but we don't lie to each other” He finally pulled the door open.
Katsuki reached up to shove his shoulder. He can't remember the last time the fought like this. “Oh boo-fucking-hoo” He fake cried. “You lie all the fucking time!” He claimed.
Izuku gasped. “I do not!” His mouth hung open.
Katsuki wanted to ripe his hair out. And maybe Izuku's too while he was at it. “You know you really aren't fair” He pointed at Izuku.
Izuku threw his hands out in exhaustion of the argument. “How am I not fair, Kacchan” He put on his teacher voice which only angered Katsuki further.
“Your standards are on the fucking ground” He spat. “You have all these big ideas for what kind of guy I should get with, and so far none of them have been fucking good enough for you” His voice became frailer. “Yet I have to watch you just throw yourself at whatever extra is looking your way.” He raised his eyebrows.
Izuku made a disgusted face at him. “What? Are you calling me a slut or something?" He bit.
Katsuki felt a twist in his gut. His voice lowered instantly as he stepped closer. “What? No of course not, Izuku” His face softened. “I’m saying maybe I'm okay with someone that's not as perfect as-” He took a deep breath. “I'm just saying it's not fair that you feel the need to be so involved in my choices” He changed.
Izuku's demenour finally softened too. “Sorry I care, Kacchan” His voice was still tight.
Katsuki didn’t fucking like his atittude. “Yeah, care so much you won’t answer my fucking call” He shot back.
This just riled Izuku right back up. “Sorry!” He smiled a stupid smug smile again. “Thought you might be busy with whatever dude you’re fucking, apparently.” He nearly whispered it.
Katsuki turned around instantly, fucking fuming at the conversation they were having. “You know what I think?” Katsuki turned back one last time.
Izuku shrugged “Why should I care?” He snapped. “We don't share opinions anymore it sounds like” His words were sharp as he inched closer to Katsuki in his doorway.
“Oh, fuck you” He rolled his head back, eyebrows pinched together.
“I might!” Izuku gave a manical laugh. “If you haven't heard, I'm a giant slut !” He threw his hands towards Katsuki.
“I didn’t-” Katsuki sighed in frustration and the fact that he couldn’t quite catch his breath after Izuku made a questioning statment about them fucking. “I didn't mean it like that” He felt genuinely bad that that was what Izuku took away from the conversation, but not bad enough to apologize for the whole thing all together. “And maybe I would've told you if I didn't think you would've given me a giant lecture or went and killed the man or something” Katsuki didn't care whether he lied anymore, now he just cared about proving Izuku wrong.
Izuku quirked his brow up. “You don't think you might be projecting some of your feelings on to me now would you, Kacchan?” He grinned.
Katsuki stared at him for a long time without responding. “What if I was?” He teased. “What if I said I hated all those idiots who got with you” He dared.
To his excitement Izuku faltered, only a bit. “I’d say you were a hypocrite" He finally answered, pushing Katsuki out of the way of the door. “Now if you'll leave me be” He went to shut the door behind Katsuki. “I’m gonna nap” He looked him dead in the eye. “I didn't sleep good last night”
And with that, the door slammed in his face. The words were hurtful. Even worse, they were untrue. Izuku was hiding how he really felt and Katsuki wanted to force it out of him if it was the last thing he did.
He was gonna make Izuku Midoriya beg on his knees for him even if it killed him.
Again.
✧✴❀✴✧
He looked fucking hot and he knew it.
He hadn't planned on dressing anywhere near this crazy when they decided to dress up for the club tonight, but now that Izuku had truly pissed him off, he needed to be the sexiest person in that goddamn club tonight.
His black flannel was left open, and extremly tight on his arms. His denim jeans hung snuggly on his ass and were held securely on his hips by the GunHead belt buckle on the front. The red hat on his head matched his eyes as they popped through the smugged black eyeliner on his lids that matched the leather boots on his feet. He wasn't ashamed as he laid on the ground a few minutes before a group of them planned to meet in his room and did several sit ups to ensure his abs were tight.
Katsuki wasn't the desperate type, that wasn't him.
But he was the type of person that got what he wanted.
And what he wanted, was that nerd’s eyes on him and him only. If he Izuku didn't know how badly he wanted Katsuki, he would after tonight. He slipped on some silver sunglasses, hoping that he could at least make it out of the lobby without being recoginzed as Dynamight. By the time he was completely dressed and ready, the first knock was heard on the door. He walked up to it, pulling it open without looking before heading back to the mirror to check himself out one last time. He had to look absolutely perfect if he wanted to truly get under Izuku's skin tonight. He gave a begrudged hello as Eijiro, Mina, Sero, Kaminari, and Jirou piled into his room together. Eijiro was in a more modest version of Katsuki's outfit with Sero in a similar cowboy outfit as well. Then there was Kaminari, Mina, and Jirou who were all in bright greens and pinks with wild makeup and silver headbands.
Katsuki was grateful he wasn't forced to dress in such atrocities. He felt the solid and familar slap of Eijiro's hand on his back. “Damn man” He looked at his friend from behind him in the mirror. “Really putting yourself out there tonight” He smiled.
Kaminari came into the reflection to observe his outfit as well. “Hell yeah, man” He laughed. “Looking pretty hot, Kacchan” He smirked.
Katsuki had to look away from them both in embarrassment. “Stop flirting with me without your boyfriend here” He growled. “And I told you not to call me that” He hissed.
Jirou came up being Kaminari to fix his antennas as he continued speaking. “Come on, I can only get away with it when Midoriya's not here” He whined. “And you guys are never apart these days” He joked.
Katsuki didn’t have a response as he moved to the door in a signal that everyone else should also get the fuck out of his room now. They followed without complaint as the odd ball group of them made their way to the elevator. They all planned on meeting in the lobby and then taking the monorail to the club. As expected, most of the girls had been blowing up their groupchat all afternoon with makeup and hair questions, leading Katsuki to believe they were probably going to be running late.
His boots landed loudly on the hard wood of the hallway as the all made there way down. “Sero did you bring a pack with you?” Jirou asked as they all shoved into the elevator.
It wasn't just Izuku who had developed this disgusting habit of smoking, but a large chunk of their entire class. Katsuki curled his lip in disgust as Sero pulled out a pack of Seven Star cigarettes from the pocket of his denim vest. “You all are filthy” Katsuki complained to no one as he leaned against the cool railing and hit the first floor button.
Too quickly, the doors opened back up. “Oh! Seven Stars!” He heard the familiar squeaky voice from the now open doors. Somehow, by horrible timing, Izuku and his own little squad had been waiting on the fourth floor, likely in Uraraka's room. Now Katsuki was being pushed even closer to the tight wall as Izuku, Asui, Uraraka, and Todoroki all crammed in on top of them.
Katsuki hadn't even looked up at them as they made their way in. He wanted the nerd to know he didn't care to even look at whatever stupid vest he was talking about earlier. Of course, the man ended up nearly pressed against him as they all stood shoulder to shoulder. Katsuki leaned even further against the wall as Izuku's shoulder still grazed his bare chest. He tried to ignore the tingling that was being produced under the burning skin. “Wow, Midoriya” He heard Jirou call from the other side of the short space. “Is that a nipple piercing?” She asked in disbelief.
Nipple piercing?! Did he have one of those? Since when? And how would she know? Could she see it right now? Were Izuku’s nipples out right now? Without having another spiraling thought he reached up to grab the shoulder touching him and forced the other to face him. He didn't bother asking or even making the time to look at his face before he searched for these nipples, that were apparently out and about right now and also maybe pierced?
His eyes landed on a completely bare chest and a very startled Izuku. There was no piercing to be seen. “What the-”
“Ha” Jirou laughed. “Made ya look” She said in a sing-song voice.
Now that Katsuki's eyes were on them, he couldn't peel them off. The outfit was not the tame western image he had put in his head when he heard the word vest. He thought maybe Izuku would where a flannel or denim jacket or maybe even a plain black shirt with some denim or leather vest. And, ha, it was leather alright, but nothing about it was screaming modest.
Now that he had seen it, he knew exactly what vest of Kaminari’s this was. When he had first opened his own agency a couple years ago, Hero Magazine had done a photoshoot with him called ‘Electric in Leather’ . It had been so controversial and so completely mouth watering that his hero rank had gone up 5 ranks just from the sultry shoot alone. And now Izuku was wearing the leather vest that he had worn on the front cover, right now. With absolutely nothing under it.
Katsuki's eyes trailed further down to the matching leather pants and leather boots. On his head was a black hat that made his green curls appear darker and tighter. His green eyes seemed to be the only thing not devoid of color as Katsuki finally made eye contact for the first time with the other since he had been staring. “Something wrong, Kacchan?” He asked with a small laugh.
The rest of the group was still laughing at whatever pitiful gotcha Jirou had done to him. He threw Izuku's shoulder away again, so he wouldn't be facing him anymore. “ Tch.” It was the only sound he seemed to be able to make at this given moment.
“There was sexual tension there I think” Tododroki decided to add in, because of course he did.
Thankfully, the doors opened just then allowing Katsuki to push through everyone and catch his breath in the lobby. “Good catch, babe” Sero congratulated him as the rest of the group followed.
“I’m getting better at understanding my good friend Katsuki,” He said in response. Katsuki whipped around to chew him out, but Todoroki was now speaking directly to him. “Speaking of, would you like to see how our cats are doing, friend?” He asked innocently.
Katsuki took a deep breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Todoroki was such a little shit. Because he had the damn power to see their cats, and of course Katsuki missed Tofu like a little bitch, and now he had to pretend like he didn't just hear his snarky remarks. “Just give me the damn phone” He pulled it from the others hands. “Cocky piece of work” He mumbled.
Todoroki smiled an ornery grin as Katsuki finally saw Tofu and Soba jumping around together. “I think you may be getting better at understanding me, your good friend, too” He teased.
Katsuki threw the phone back into his chest. “Listen here,you icy bastard–” He felt himself boiling over.
Just then, Izuku stepped between them, a hand landing on Katsuki's chest. “Woah now, Kacchan” He laughed. “Shouto was clearly just teasing us” He smiled at them both. “No need for violence this early in the night” he nodded. “Isn’t that right, Shouto?” He asked nervously to the half-haired boy.
Shouto quirked his eyebrow. “Right,” He nodded. “There is definitely nothing…” He waved his hand in front of them while he thought of the right words. “ Charged , here” He landed on.
Katsuki hoped Izuku couldn't feel his heart beating rapidly from the touch as Izuku laughed awkwardly at the situation. Eventually, Todoroki was swept off into a conversation with his boyfriend as Izuku relaxed a little. Katsuki was quick to shove the hand off his chest. Izuku didn't try to hide his hurt as he rolled his eyes. “Kacchan, listen-”
“Guys!” He heard Mina squeal. “Picture, picture hurry!” She waved them all over.
Apparently, somewhere in their conversation the others had shown up. In the middle of the hotel lobby was a large wall with an equally large mirror attached to it. Mina was already holding her phone up to it and ushering people to shove in closely. They had naturally split themselves into cowboys on one side with himself, Izuku, Eijiro, Sero, Shinsou, YaoMomo, Asui, and Camie all on the left side of the screen and the aliens being Mina, Uraraka, Jirou, Hagakure, Nejire, Kaminari, Todoroki, and Monoma all on the right. Katsuki kept as distant as possible as they all bent down in various poses and raised on tippy toes to be seen in the screen.
Katsuki stood of to the side with a closed mouth smile, hoping they weren't being a complete eye sore in the middle of the lobby. “Move closer, Ochako!” Mina grabbed the girls arm, bringing her down to squat with her. “You too, Bakubabe!” She looked back at him.
Katsuki took another half step to the side, barely brushing shoulders with Izuku's arm. His other arm was slung over Asui’s as he pulled her close to him. Katsuki found himself watching the scarred hand that held onto her pale arm. “Ugh, we still can't see everyone!” Camie complained, turning around to assess.
“Come here” He heard Izuku purr in his ear. He shot his head around to face him. Before he could register the words or argue against them Izuku grabbed him by one of his belt loops and shoved him, with one foot infront, directly in between, Izukus legs. Katsuki felt breathless as Izuku didnt remove his hand after manhandling him like that. Not many people were able to just move the Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. But Izuku always seemed to do it with ease. “I don't bite” He gave a tap on Katsuki's hip before finally moving his hand and slinging it over Katsuki's shoulder like Asui’s.
He didn't have words as he tried to smile for the picture again. Others had adjusted to get closer too ,leaving Katsuki with little oxygen to steal. “Yay!” Mina yelled once the perfect picture had been taken. “Let's party people!” She raised her arm in the air in a cheer.
Everyone carefully pulled themselves away from each other as the prepared to head out at once. Katsuki waited for Shinsou to move on his side so he could get away from the intoxication of Izuku as fast as he could. The moment the other was out of his way Katsuki took a striding step away, only to be stopped by some force behind him.
Izuku once again was pulling him be his pants, forcing him to turn back to him. “Would you stop–”
“Who’d you get all dressed up for?” Izuku demanded before he could even finish his sentence. His eyes weren't being shy with the way he was looking Katsuki up and down. Katsuki felt at a lose for words as Izuku seemed to drink him in.
Katsuki had wanted this . He wanted Izuku to look at him this way but now that he was doing it Katsuki was having a hard time remaining cool. “I-I uh” He said stupidly. “I could say the same thing to you” He finally spit out, tugging on Izuku's leather vest.
Izuku only smiled, straightening it back out. “You’re the one who told me to wear this, no?” He asked snarkily.
Katsuki hated him. Since when had he been such a cocky bitch. “If I would have known what it looked like, I would've never let you leave your room with it on” He admitted, feeling braver the longer the green eyes melted onto his form.
Izuku's eyes widened, a little bit hurt from the words. “Oh” He tried to laugh. “I thought it was too much too but Kaminari said– well so did Ochako, but I don't know- maybe I should change” He became nervous. “They tried to convince me it looks good” He turned to scramble back to the stairs, likely to change.
Katsuki grabbed his wrist before he could. “It does look good” His eyes felt half open and drunk as they made contact. It was like their fight had never happened as they drank each other in now. “I don't think just anyone deserves to see it” He licked the bottom of his quickly chapping lips.
Izuku's confident demeanor had diminished under the weight of Katsuki's compliments. “Oh” he said breathlessly. “Thank you” He whispered out as they were now the last ones in the lobby.
Katsuki dropped the wrist he was holding onto tightly. “Yeah, so stop freaking out” He coughed, trying to pull off the fact that he was practically drooling a second ago. “We should go” He grumbled. He felt his neck boiling and his ears tinting to an embarrassing shade.
Izuku let him walk a few steps, before Kastuki heard the pounding of boots catching up with him. “R-Right” The ever growing shy man finally spoke. Just as they were about to catch up with their friends Izuku grabbed Katsuki's bicep to stop him short, where only they could hear each other. “Your jeans” He said unfinished.
Katsuki looked down, expecting there to be a stain or a rip in his dark denim he wore. “My jeans?” He repeated, growing confused as Izuku just continued to stare at them.
He must have realized he never finished his thought as he now began to over compensate with rambling. “I-I mean your jeans– I don't like” He wouldn't make eye contact any logner as he continued to stare down at the denim. “I mean I do like – not that your wearing them but–” He sighed. “I don't like that you're wearing them” Katsuki pinched his brows together. “I mean I like looking at them but–” He took another deep breath. “What I'm trying to say is I wish people didn't get to see you in those jeans either” He finally spit out.
Katsuki watched the flush grow on the freckled cheeks as the words settled into the thick beach air around them. “Yeah?” Katsuki teased. He then purposely walked in front of him as they loaded into the monorail. After climbing the stairs he turned back to Izuku. “Lets hope they pay off” His voice was deep.
Izuku could hardly pull his eyes off Katsuki's ass as he dragged them back up to his eyes to answer. “Looks like were both trying our best tonight” He responded in a challenge.
Katsuki felt his stomach twist at the words. I guess were doing this he thought to himself. “Wouldn’t expect anything less from you and me” He teased further, leaning deadly close into the others' space.
Izuku didn't move an inch as his eyes drifted down to Katsuki's lips. The monorail took off, both men staying steady on their feet. “Is that a challenge?” Izuku's eyes remained on Katsuki's lips as he spoke.
“It’s whatever you make of it” He leaned closer to Izuku's ear. “ Deku ”
Oh, they were so doing this.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku already felt buzzed before he had consumed any alcohol. Something had shifted between him and Kacchan in the last hour. After their fight, Izuku expected Katsuki to avoid him like he had for the entire day yesterday again, but this, this was different. Izuku hadn't expected to be noticed tonight, not by Kacchan. He hadn't expected to feel his eyes weighing on him and his brain being flooded with the ego boost that was attention from the number five hero. Whatever had changed felt more addicting than drugs. It felt like he had already downed a night worth of shots and his heart was thumping like he was already out in the middle of the dance floor.
Instead, he was here, face to face with a smirking Kacchan on Okinawa's monorail. Deku. How long had it been since Kacchan had called him that outside of hero work? The name was no longer laced with malice but instead came out as a seductive threat. It was coated with caramel and envy and the tightening of a jaw that comes with proximity to a challenge.
The train stopped abruptly, Izuku having a harder and harder time at keeping his legs from falling out from under him. “Lets go, lets go” Ochako eagerly tapped his arm, making him break eye contact with the other since the tracks had started.
He lost the haze of the moment, smiling down slightly confused at Ochako as the group took off. Had they watched whatever just happened? Had it changed the air in the train for everyone else too? He felt a hand slide down his lower back. “You heard her” Kacchan purred in his ear from behind. “You aren't getting shy now, are ya?” He teased.
Izuku walked forward without answering, the fingers skimming the small bit of skin hanging out from the bottom of his vest before leaving completely. Izuku needed a drink, strong and deadly. The first step outside into the night air was filled with a thin sheet of humidity and a loud booming of music. The thump of footsteps pounding in rhythm and poor singing to the sound of American music, could already be heard several blocks away. Their large group rushed over, girls squealing. Izuku smiled as he watched the excitement thrum between them all. They hadn't got to be together like this in years.
They made it in easily, the body guards recognizing most of them and skipping the small few in exchange for a few signatures. Izuku still felt embarrassed to this day whenever someone looked up to him as some kind of celebrity, nonetheless, when it got him free stuff he couldn't complain.
The smell of the club was sticky with alcohol and sweet with sweat. Lights of various shades spilled over them in rotation as they pushed their way in. Instantly, people started breaking off into groups, overwhelmed with the multiple bars and shiny dance floors. Izuku looked up, taking in the spider webs and disco balls. Lanterns and skeletons plastered around the walls as bodies of dancing people scattered around him. He felt Kacchan still behind him as he watched eyes admire his outfit. It felt like a guard dog ready to pounce at threats, as he made his way to the bar.
He turned around making eye contact with the man as his eyes made their way back up from what could only be Izuku's ass. Katsuki's face was flushed and already glistening with a bead of sweat. “Need a drink” Izuku said as a question. A silent request for Kacchan to come along with him. Katsuki nodded his head as they parted their way through the crowd together. The bar was sticky on Izuku's forearms as he leaned forward to speak to the bartender. He felt Katsuki slot behind him, one arm coming to rest next to Izuku’s. “Whiskey Sour?” He asked politely as the bartender nodded.
He got it for him immediately skipping the others in line. “Of course Deku-san” He smiled, handing it back to him with the exchange of fingertips. “Anything for your friend?” He nodded at Kacchan without looking at him.
Izuku looked back to see Kacchan growling. “Anything, Kacchan?” He asked quietly.
Instead of answering, Kacchan grabbed the drink from Izuku's hand, bringing it to his own lips before Izuku had even gotten the first sip. Izuku watched as a small amount of the liquid made it into Kacchan's mouth and down his pale throat. He winced at the strong flavor before continuing to scowl at the bartender. “Not that” He said disgustedly.
Izuku slapped his arm gently. “I haven't tried it myself, Kacchan” He whined.
The red eyes moved from a boring into the bartenders back to a softer gaze at Izuku. “Sorry” He mumbled, still not moving the drink back to Izuku hand. Instead, he moved closer, wrapping the arm with the drink around Izuku body. With the free hand he grabbed Izuku's chin and brought the drink to Izuku's lips. Izuku looked up to him dizzy and wanting. “Drink it then” He demanded, completely encasing Izuku in his large arms.
Izuku nodded. “Kay” He barely forced out as he let Kacchan tilt his head back and pour the whiskey down his throat. It was strong, but not as intoxicating as the feeling of Kacchan's hand resting around his throat. Too soon, the liquid was gone and so was Kacchan proximity.
“He will take another one of those” He said confidently and much kinder now to the bartender. “I’ll take Shochu” He nodded, pulling money from his wallet and leaving it at the bar.
Just as quickly, the drinks landed at their fronts. “Thanks, Kacchan” Izuku nodded, feeling like he was completely lost in the tingling on his body. Katsuki didn't answer verbally but with a quick nod before looking around. It was a painful reminder that this wasn't for Izuku, whatever game they were playing was pure spite. The real reason Kacchan had dressed up tonight was so that he could impress someone else.
The thought made him rageful. It made him want to burn every other man in the room down, and woman if their eyes lingered too long. Izuku knew he couldn't act on these emotions, not with alcohol in his system anyway. He must have been staring at Kacchan for a considerable amount of time because Momo was the one to break up their conversation suddenly. “Hey you two” She called with a smile. “Don’t forget I'm babysitting tonight and that means water between drinks” She reprimanded. On cue she popped two cold water bottles from her stomach where her pink flannel had been knotted around her waist.
They both took them, sipping on them lightly as she walked away. As soon as her high ponytail was out of sight two more shots were ordered from Kacchan. He must seriosuly be needing the confidence boost, this wasn't like him at all. Nonetheless, they clinked the small glasses together and took their first shot of the night.
“Come on” Kacchan demanded once again. Izuku wouldn't have a choice to follow, even if his mind was screaming at him that this was dangerous, his body would follow any command the other gave him.
He grabbed Izuku by the lace of his chin strap, tugging him lightly onto the dance floor. Is this what he needed the liquid courage for? For dancing with Izuku? The answer was then made clear, instantly. The dude, the same one from the first night, the same one that Kacchan had exchanged numbers with, the same one that he had apparently hooked up with without telling Izuku about it. He was still the dark and tall and handsome son of a bitch that he was a few days ago. But now matters were much worse.
Much, much worse.
Because he wasn't in the same snobby suit and cheap watch he had worn when buying them all the fancy liquor a few days ago. No. Now, like everyone else, he too was dressed up for the occasion and his costume was one Izuku recognized too well.
He was dressed up as the worlds greatest hero, Deku. Him.
He stopped abruptly on the muggy dance floor. Now he felt the alcohol had passed his blood and was now sloshing in his stomach instead. He was no longer dizzy but a heavy drowning current. He grabbed Katsuki's wrist, forcing his fingers open and off his hat. Katsuki turned around, the smirk he had once had replaced with confusion. Izuku dropped his hand like it was poison. He didn't want to be someone Kacchan just used to grab another person's attention. He couldn't let himself get too close to the fire to just inevitably be burned. “What's wrong” Kacchan spoke as loudly as he could over the loud music.
Izuku couldn't raise his voice. It was tied together with string in his throat. He held up his hand to sign the first thing he could think of. Something to let him escape.
I’m gonna go check on…
He hesitated as he peered around. Check on who? That's when he saw Camie talking to a man he hadn't seen before. He didn't look like a threat but she didn't necessarily look interested in him either.
Camie. He quickly finished spelling her name out as best he could before taking off in her direction. The timing was nearly perfect. Just as Izuku pulled away, the man came to approach Kacchan. Izuku tried not to watch the way Kacchan let himself be sweeped back into the crowd as Izuku swam away like a coward.
He made his way quickly to the blonde girl, unsure of what he was gonna do once he was there. Apparently, Izuku’s desire to get out of his own situation had been a blessing in disguise for Camie. As soon as he was close enough for her to make eye contact with him, her eyes widened in a plea for help. Without breaking eye contact Izuku hurried over. “Camie,” He said somewhat uncertainly.
“Izuku, baby!” She held her arm out for a hug. Izuku took it reluctantly as he sized the other guy up. “I was just talking about you” She squeezed him.
The guy eyed him disgustingly. “This your boyfriend?” His lip curled up as he looked Izuku up and down.
Izuku could temporarily forget his own emotional turmoil for now. Unfortunately for this guy, his anger wasn't the easiest thing to soothe and he had picked the wrong person to try and pick on. He lowered his grip on Camie, squeezing his arm around her side. “I am” He said confidently. “And if you don't want the number 4 hero to kick your ass I expect that you'll stop hitting on women who want nothing to do with you” He smiled.
The guy squinted his eyes as they drunkenly discovered who was standing in front of them. “R-Right!” He apologized instantly. “I-Uh” He looked at Camie who had a large grin on her face now. “I was just heading back anyway” He tried to give a wobbly smile.
Izuku only nodded as he saw himself out. As soon as his eyes were off them, he dropped his touch from Camie. Lashing out on the creep had given him little-to-no relief from the anger he was feeling towards the guy who had whisked Kacchan right from his grip. He dared to look at the dance floor, knowing he would be scarred by whatever image would lie there.
Sure enough, Kacchan was dancing with him. The man was stood behind him, gripping the jeans that hung devilishly low on Kacchan's hips. They both swayed back and forth, their hips in rhythm as the man's hands drifted to places Izuku would rather have stabbed with daggers. He finally forced himself to look at Kacchan's face, terrfied it would be painted in a bliss that Izuku hadn't created. Instead, Kacchan was already watching him back, more specifically where Camie had wrapped her hand around his bicep. He must have been watching the scene go down closely. He always had a good sense for shady people.
Before Izuku could be the one to look away, the stranger grabbed Kacchan by the hips and swiveled him back to face him instead of Izuku. It was weird to see him , a mirror image of what he wore on the fields most weeks, holding Kacchan so provocatively. Maybe it was why Kacchan had tried to face the other way, too weirded out by the idea himself. “I owe you a dance!” Camie shouted. “Thank you, he was like a total creepo” She rolled her eyes.
Izuku answered her without looking away. “Yeah” He replied quickly. “Lets dance” He pulled her by the hand to an empty spot he had already been scouting. A spot where he could keep his eyes on Kacchan. The blonde didn't see the two of them move onto the floor, not at first at least. Camie was just happy to be out there as she wrapped her arms around Izuku and started leading them in the swaying and spinning that matched the intensity of the music.
The hat perched on her piggy-tailed head eventually flew off without seemingly having an effect on her mood. Izuku wondered if she was using her quirk on others right now. Did they look more skilled and put together than he felt they were? Did other people see them and think they were seasoned professionals that have been dancing like this forever? It didn't matter as Izuku felt his shoulder back into someone strong.
He turned to see Kacchan, hips still attached to his look alike. He wanted to break eye contact sooner, he needed to be the first one to look away, but how could he? How could he take his eyes off the thin veil of sweat that had gathered on the tips of his spikes, the eyeliner that Izuku hadn't even realized he put on, now smearing gracefully down the droopy part of his eyelids. Or even better, the crimson eyes that were looking back at him soundless desire.
Izuku peered down to the hand holding his body, smooth and dainty. Nothing compared to the fists Izuku had used to smash villains and break sound barriers. He audibly scoffed when he met Kacchan's eyes again.
Does he know more about me than All Might, at least?
At least he wasn't rude enough to say it out loud. Kacchan rolled his eyes before deciding what to sign back.
He at least knew my type.
Although it was signed aggressively and with confidence, when Izuku snapped his eyes back up, Kacchan was blushing . He wouldn't mistake it for the heat or the sun from this morning, he was fully and inexplicably flirting with Izuku.
His type. Izuku! His type! In men! He was fully prepared to rip his body from the stranger and run away with him now, take him and never give him back. His brain was short-circutiing as he processed the information one word at a time. He was searching in his eyes for a sense that he was joking. He was waiting for any minute now that Kacchan would start laughing in his face before proceeding to grind on the idiot perched behind him. Nothing came.
Except for Camie's voice, who he was still holding on to. “Oh, Izuku!” He tugged. “They are giving away sake over there!” She tugged even harder. His feet were moving against his will, as his eyes were still locked with Kacchan’s. Eventually, after the fourth person was a victim of his blindless walking, he was forced to turn around, Camie still tugging.
Once they had made it off the dance floor and into the cooler area of the bar, Izuku's mind only collapsed further. His thoughts were spinning in vortexes at speeds he didn't know possible, trying to count and recount every interaction they'd had. Kacchan liked him back. Or at least was attracted to him in some capacity.
It was only when Camie slapped the shit out of his shoulder that he realized there was no sake over here and that she was looking at him with an incredibly put out face. “What is wrong with you!” She yelled in seriousness.
He felt bad instantly. Maybe he hadn't been great out there or embarrassed her with his awful coordination. “I’m sorry” He apologized. “I was distracted, maybe Kaminari-”
“Obviously you were distracted!” She pinched his arm. “By mister hot stuff over there!” She pointed. Izuku went to argue but she shut him dowsn instantly. “And don't try to act like not everyone in your little class doesn't know that you two are totally obsessed with each other” She snapped.
Izuku sighed. “If this is about the dancing-”
“It's not about the dancing!” She snapped again. “It's about you just sitting there watching while your man gets his bones jumped by another hottie!” She argued.
Izuku turned to see them, the man pulling Kacchan away from the dance floor too now. “He can do what he wants” He turned back. “If he wanted to be dancing with me instead, he would” He found her hat that had flown off and picked it up to dust it off.
“Fat chance!” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You want nothing more than to be the one behind him right now” She raised her eyebrow as Izuku felt his cheeks turn colors. “And look at you!” She pointed. “You aren't doing anything about that!”
It would've been a valid argument if this was about anyone but Kacchan. Ever since they were kids Kacchan had found purpose in everything he did. He didn't do things to please people and he didn't do things that he didn't think were worth anything. Izuku felt a bead of sweat cling from his back to the leather as the environment around them became increasingly hot. He could see a few others dancing around or getting drinks as he tried to figure what to do. Tried to figure out how to live with whatever he was being forced to watch right now. At least they had left the dance floor for now. “Kacchan doesn't do anything he doesn't want to” He turned back to her, placing the hat back on her shiny hair.
Camie pouted as he clearly hadn't set the hat back in a way that went with her hair. As she adjusted it she spoke again, “Babes, he is doing exactly what he wanted to do, trust” She laughed at him.
Izuku didn't feel like laughing. He felt angry. “And what is that exaclty?!” The alcohol and boiling blood was rapidly catching up to him. “Getting with some idiot stranger he hardly knows that is dressed like me, who wouldn't appreciate him like I would?” His voice was rising with anger.
He took a step back when he realized how close he had gotten to the sassy girl. “What he is trying to do is much simpler than that actually” She smirked. “He is succeeding thats for sure” She laughed again, completely and thankfully, unintimidated by Izuku’s irritation.
Izuku sighed, anger dispersing when he realized that, in her own weird way, Camie was trying to help. “Camie, listen” He pleaded. “I know I'm known for being a strategist and an analyst and a stalker according to Kacchan” She was smiling wildly at him. “But I am actually incredibly stupid, so please help me understand better” He begged.
Camie's grin only became wider. “I thought you'd never ask!” She put a hand on his shoulder to pull him down to her level. She moved her mouth to his ear as if whatever she was about to say was a secret between only them. “What he is doing” She started. “Is getting your attention” She pulled back rubbing her red lips together.
Izuku tried to put the pieces together. Was that Kacchan's way of making him jealous? Was Kacchan still playing the game or was this real. Izuku felt his anger become replaced with adrenaline at the possibility. Holy fuck . Without another second thought he pulled Camie back into him and planted a fat kiss on her cheek. “Thank you, Camie!” He smiled like a maniac. “Seriously!” Her face was red from the show of affection.
She adjusted her hat again. “Ugh” She complained. “You have like no rizz” The hat covered her face as she said it. Izuku had learned from his students, that he actually had quite a lot of whatever exactly rizz was and from Camie's reaction, she also clearly thought so deep down.
He laughed at her, feeling a new revival for the night that he was now determined to conquer. “I should find him right?” He asked, already knowing his body would lead him there regardless. Kacchan was his gravity that he couldn't get too far from. He was his focal point and sun and cherished one. “I should-”
“Go dude!” She slapped him. “The longer you wait the more touchy fake Deku can get with-”
“Right” He cut her off, not enjoying the image she was planting. “I’m gonna–” He turned awkwardly, his back hitting a wave of people as he tried to walk from her.
“Go!” She demanded.
So he did. He ran. He used years of observational and reactive skills to navigate through the crowd of people without injuring them and apologizing if he did graze them in his journey. He was dripping sweat, taking his hat off so he could see in front of him better. Kacchan had gone this way, they headed towards the bar set in the back. It was quieter back here, more desolate. Izuku shouldn't have a hard time finding wherever the weirdo had taken him. Although Kacchan's costume wasn't loud enough to find amongst the people, Izuku had picked a bright color for his hero costume, meaning finding his doppelganger should be easy.
The music seemed to die down here too, the booming turning to a drowned out melody. He felt like he could hear and see for the first time all night. He only had to find Kacchan and then they could leave, get out of here and away from anyone else who wanted to reach out and take them. He rounded a corner where there was a small longue, few people covering it’s walls. There were couches and dimmed lighting and was clearly a destined area for smooth talking and lingering touches.
To Izukus horror this is where he found Kacchan, standing against a wall with the mans hands caging him in from both sides. Kacchan shouldn't be caged by any civilian ever. He watched the man draw lazy circles on Kacchan's toned stomach as the talked quietly about something.
And then,
Izuku fucking lost it.
Because Kacchan looked his way, and without thinking, let the fake Deku make the decision again. They made eye contact as Kacchan's lidded eyes fell closed. He felt himself moving as the man's hands moved from Kacchan's waist to his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Kacchan was clearly drunk given the way he was moving and how many drinks they had consumed earlier. He was a light weight, all of them knew that.
Izuku couldn't control himself, not when he was forced to watch this with his own eyes. So as he could hear his own boots moving closer as their lips nearly touched, he saw red.
He would not let this man take advantage of Kacchan.
✵ Katsuki ✵
None of this was what he planned. Whatever emboldment he had got during the continuation of the night was slowly crumbling. He had felt the thrill of chasing after Izuku, of finally being chased back, until the idiot who he couldn't even remember the name of showed up and decided to ruin everything.
Katsuki had been close, so close to drawing Izuku in, to committing to pursuing whatever they were doing. And then, when he finally had developed the bravery to pull him onto the dance floor after a bit of liquid courage, he had shown up and stopped the momentum they had slowly built. Katsuki wouldn't have cared, he would have completely ignored him, but Izuku didn't. Izuku abandoned him at first sight and gave up on everything they created instantly. Katsuki still felt on his wrist where Izuku had pried him off of him in disgust.
So when Izuku let him go, Katsuki let himself go too. The alcohol wouldn't let his mind think clearly, so he let the other man think for him. He let himself be swept away and touched in places his sober self would blow someone up for. It didn't feel good. He hated the way he was being tossed and turned by this man who was less than half his strength. He hated the way he was dressed identically to the one he wishes he were with. Izuku would've filled the suit out much more, the costume was loose and cheap on the dark haired dude in front of him. He tried turning around, sacrificing the embarrassment that was being grinded on so he could stop having to look at the teal and black that only reminded him of another.
The touches didn't burn like they did with Izuku. When a thumb would find its way onto his stomach it felt cold like stone, repulsive and wrong. Katsuki let the man give him another shot, hoping the liquid could further prevent his mind from remembering this feeling.
Eventually his eyes found Izuku like they always did, without reason and against his better judgement. He was with Camie of all people, dancing closely and watching Katsuki like a hawk. He didn't have to look directly at the pair of men for Katsuki to know he was watching them. Izuku was obvious in the way he kept them turned in a direction where he could see Katsuki.
It wasn't subtle when they talked to each other across the dance floor, and it was even less subtle how much it upset his dancing partner. When they parted ways again Katsuki knew a punishment was coming for it. The guy had been pervertly obvious with how much he wanted to kiss Katsuki. He kept pressing his lips to his neck and ear and breathing heavily like whatever they were doing was profusely sexual.
When he left the dance floor with the man and let himself be pulled into a more silent area of the club he knew it was over for him. He wasn't even drunk. He wanted the alcohol to be covering more than it was. He wanted to be lost in the moment, maybe drowned out in a blissful escape of music and lights. He wasn't though, his thoughts were too clear and his intentions weren't aligned with what was happening. He had gotten Izuku’s attention just as he wanted to tonight, but at what cost? He was now cornered as lips he despised moved closer and closer.
He looked down, the costume was close, cheap but a good replication. What he would give to be kissed by the real thing. Could he pretend? If he didn't look at the man but instead his fake persona maybe that could be enough. Enough to push the thoughts of the real Deku out and get it out of his system.
He felt him. Of course he did. Of course he had followed them here. Like and magnet or a leech he was always at Katsuki's side. He looked up, lips inches from his own, hand tight on his jaw. Izuku stood there, breathless and glistening in the light. His face showed that his remorse matched Katsuki’s. He could pretend, pretend that face was the one in front of him instead. So, he closed his eyes. He wanted Izuku to watch. Maybe that would be close enough to the real thing?
Just as his lips grazed the chapped ones of the strangers, they were gone. It couldn't even be called a kiss as he felt the man be dragged away from his body. Katsuki knew who it was before it happened, but it didn't leave him any less shocked. Although his mind was clear the liquor had dulled his reflexes. Izuku had grabbed the man mere seconds before their lips could fully touch and dragged him away from Katsuki's cornered body. Part of him felt relieved that he didn't have to succumb to the feeling in his stomach, the other part of him felt angry for Izuku thinking he could just intervene like this.
It didn't stop there. “Hey!” Izuku growled like he was talking to a high value villain. “He is drunk ” He spoke in an infuriated tone. And before Katsuki could move Izuku's fist was thrown into the jaw of his look-alike.
One punch was all it took for the man to hit the ground. Katsuki moved faster now. “Izuku!” He yelled back. “What the hell!” He bent down to help the man up off the ground. His nose was bloody and there was a cut on his cheek. “I’m not drunk ” He said clearly and concisely to prove his point to Izuku.
To his credit, Izuku's face turned ghostly white at the realization. “Oh my gosh” He instantly moved closer to the man. “I-I’m so sorry-”
“What are you two doing ?” YaoMomo’s deep and serious voice rounded the corner. Both men turned to here like guilty children. “ Jesus christ” She grabbed the man from them, instantly whipping out various clothes and antiseptics from her stomach. “I’m gonna go help him, you two better have your shit together when I get back” She snapped.
The injured man turned back to them both, an angry expression peering through blood and swelling. “Somethings fucking wrong with him” He pointed to Izuku.
Katsuki rolled his eyes, tired of putting on an act when the man was around. “Just leave man” He sighed dejected. YaoMomo escorted him out as Katsuki leaned back against the wall in defeat. “Dammit Izuku” He commented after a few minutes. “What’s your problem?” he asked seriously, trying to ignore how hot what had just happened was.
Izuku looked mortified and still angry and now hurting from Katsuki's words. “I’m sorry” he said quietly. “I thought you were still drunk from earlier” he admitted. “I didn't want you to regret getting with him again” He looked him straight in the eye. “You know he wasnt good enough” He emphasized.
Katsuki leaned back up from the wall, moving closer to Izuku’s face. “No one is, are they?” He spat the words in the others face.
Izuku didn't back down physically but his face changed to a softer one. “What” he whispered. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His brows twitched.
Katsuki shoved him lightly, poking a finger in his chest. “You seem to have a problem with every single person who shows interest in me?” He felt mad, and was tired of Izuku's entitlement to him. “Isn’t that right?” He asked.
Izuku’s face turned angry too. “I just want what's best for my best friend ” He argured. “I want someone who deserves you, and is good enough–” He shot back.
“Are you?” he cut him off.
“Am I what?” Izuku dared back.
“Are you good enough?” He moved even closer. Izuku only nodded his head no as Katsuki continued. “If no one else meets your standards to kiss me, then you do it” He didn't regret the words as they came out. They needed to be said. Izuku needed to hear them.
His face darkened, he took a step back. Katsuki watched his fist clench at his side. Katsuki backed up a bit, he was definitely going to be the second person Izuku punched tonight. He was about to feel the full force of a detroit smash against his jaw for ever suggesting they do such things. He closed his eyes to brace for the impact.
And then, he felt it against his lips. The fist collided much softer than he imagined it would, and then it didn't leave, not right away. The fist was softer than he thought… and wet?
Oh.
Oh my god these were lips.
Izuku was kissing him.
He barely had time to react, to move his hands and try to pull him close before they were gone again. Izuku searched him for something. Maybe he was just as scared by whatever was happening. Izuku reached up again, this time with two hands, and fisted Katsuki’s flannel in his palms. Katsuki thought he didn't like being manhandled, but apparently he just didn't like it from the other guy, because what Izuku did next, slamming him into the wall behind him was one of the most religious experiences he had ever had.
His back hit the wall with a thud, his head following soon after. Well, there goes his hat. Izuku's lips were back on him quick and this time, Katsuki was ready for them. He reacted quicker, swerving his arms into the bare expansion of Izuku’s torso. It was warm and damp with sweat, it was hot and addicting. Izuku's lips opened and closed guiding them through what he was likely very experienced in. Katsuki tried to ignore the fact that Izuku was now only the second person he had ever kissed before. Their mouths were creating heat and moisture as Izuku poked his tongue quickly to the bottom of Katsuki's lip.
It felt like an electric jolt of light and energy. He heard himself moan, equal parts embarrased and without care. Izuku took that as his sign to pry further. He moved his hips flush against Katsuki's thighs that were flush to the wall behind him. The pressure in there pants rubbing together with quickness. His tongue pried deeper into Kasuki's mouth as he let out a groan of his own finally.
He continued to grind down on Katsuki as he did it, his hips moving with muscle memory, finding all the places of pleasure and memorizing them for a few seconds later. Katsuki let himself be taken over, let Izuku make the decision.
He pulled away, both of them catching their breath. It didn't last long as Izuku moved to his jaw and neck and the top most parts of his chest. “You taste so good” Izuku moaned. “Has anyone told you you tast sweet?” He asked it with edge in his voice.
The answer was no, no one had gotten close enough. “I would've exploded them” He said breathlessly, the lips creating an ecstasy all over.
Izuku worked his teeth and tongue back up to Katsuki's cheek. “Sounds like you” He purred in his ear. “We should leave” He pulled back. Katsuki felt his heart sink. Was that all? “Before Momo gets back” He tried to catch his breath from the sucking and bruising.
“O-Okay” Katsuki tried to mask his disappointment. “Um- I can-”
“Can we go to your room?” Izuku grabbed his hand casually as he looked around.
Katsuki felt his brain spark with realization. Izuku wanted to go to his room . He could feel his neck bright red as he ran a hand through his now hatless hair. “Y-yeah, sure” He tried to sound like he wasn't internally panicking.
Izuku was smiling like a kid on Christmas. “Okay” He nodded. “Come on” He pulled Katsuki back in the direction they had originally come from. “I’ll text Momo” He pulled his phone from the tight Leather pants he wore, Katsuki looked without any subtlety or regret now. “And i’ll call a cab, we can be home in about thirty minutes and then our friends-”
“Okay stop mumbling and send the text” He snapped back too eagerly. He needed to be in his room now. He needed Izuku to take him fully before he lost the ability and confidence to continue.
By the time they pushed through the crowd and made their way back into the cool air, their cab was waiting for them. The automatic doors opened as they approached, and they wasted no time crawling into the back of it. Izuku spouted the address off quickly to the driver before shutting the tinted window that shielded the back from view even quicker.
Before Katsuki could understand why, Izuku was on him again. He crawled over, crowding on top of Katsuki, straddling his thighs on either side. Katsuki had no choice as his body reached up and squeezed the ropes of muscle on his legs “ Fuck”
His words were met with that mouth again as it consumed him like drugs. “Yeah” He responded back blowing the words into Katsuki’s throat.
“He can probably hear us” Katsuki said, peeking behind Izuku to see if the cab driver could see what they were doing back here. If it was a one way glass they were screwed.
“I don't care” Izuku said quickly, going back for Katsuki's neck. When he did something like that it made it hard for Katsuki to look at the situation rationally. To hell with rational thought. He decided to let go of the ranks and controversies and any second thoughts. He pulled Izuku back to his mouth, his teeth going straight for the others lips. “You’re so hot like this” Izuku said honestly. Katsuki felt shy at how easy this seemed for the other. It was like vulnerability came to him like second nature. For Katsuki, it was more like prying teeth from his jaw. “I know you, ya know” Izuku kept speaking between kisses. “You certainly weren't planning on wearing all this tonight” He raised his eyebrows at Katsuki. “What changed?”
Katsuki didn't have a chance to respond before Izuku found one of his nipples and tightened his grip around it with his fingers. “Mm-” He bit back. “You” He admitted. “I didn't want you to look better than me” It was partially a lie and partially a joke. However, it wasn't the real reason and Izuku knew that too.
“Mm” Izuku said in contentment with his answer. “Deku never looks better than Kacchan” He smiled devilishly. The praise did something to Katsuki. He felt a white heat in his stomach as the man gave him words of commendation. “You know that right?” He moved his hand to Katsuki's jaw, pressing his thumb against the bottom of Katsuki's lip.
“No” Katsuki whispered. “You always look like this” He felt mesmerized by the eyes and the touch falling on him. “Even when you aren't wearing” He grabbed harder on the tight pants. “Whatever these are” He laughed. “I still can't take my eyes off you” He admitted.
“Kacch-”
“This is your stop” The man threw open the sliding window as Izuku used lightning reflexes to hop off of Katsuki's lap and back into his own seat.
The man only eyed them suspiciously for a few seconds before nodding. “T-Thank you!” Izuku handed him a wad of bills as he threw open the door. He didn't ask Katsuki before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him out too.
It was then that he realized he should probably at least tell Mina and Eijiro that he had left. They would be worried sick if they noticed he had gone missing, and with YaoMomo taking care of that dude there was no telling how long it would be until she could relay the message for them to the rest of the group.
He pulled out his phone with his other free hand and pulled up their group chat.
The girl, the guy, and the gay
Me
Left with Izuku.
Sent 1:14 a.m.
Not dead.
Sent 1:14 a.m.
That should do. Now they wouldn't worry and send some sort of man hunt in the middle of whatever he and Izuku were about to do. What were they about to do? It hadn't truly crossed Katsuki's mind during the whirlwind of their making out and running from threats. Izuku hurriedly pushed the elevator button, tapping his foot against the marble floor as they waited. For some reason them staying here, holding hands casually in the lobby, felt more intimate than anything they had done in the club or in the taxi. His phone buzzed against the front of his leg.
Pinky
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Sent 1:16 a.m.
Like left left???
Sent 1:16 a.m.
Eiji
Congrats man!
Sent 1:17 a.m.
There is lube in the side drawer by the beds here
Sent 1:17 a.m.
No pressure tho!
Sent 1:18 a.m.
You and Midobro are both so manly!
Sent 1:18 a.m.
Against his better judgement, the messages were making him smile. His friends were happy for him. He must be making the right choice then. He looked up to Izuku who was already smiling back at him. “Just telling Eijiro where I went” He felt the need to explain.
Izuku’s grin widened. “You’re a good friend” He reached up to squeeze the arm of the hand he was holding. He smiled back, wobbly and unsure but certainly happy. He answered quickly so they would stop with the teasing.
Me
I don't want to hear about why you know where the lube is
Sent 1:20 a.m.
Eiji
It's out wedding man!
Sent 1:20 a.m.
Katsuki quickly put his phone away before he had to hear anymore about two of his closest friends' sexual lives. The elevator dinged finally as the both rushed in. It was only moments before Izuku was jumping him again. In the short ride up he had managed to leave another bruise on Katsuki's chest and his flannel was left draping off his shoulder. Luckily, Katsuki’s room was close as Izuku kissed him all the way there. He walked backwards, digging his key from his pocket and impressively using it to unlock the door all while Izuku pressed him against it.
The room was thrumming with tension as Katsuki let the moonlight do the illuminating of the room rather than turning it on himself. The further and further they got into the room the more it became increasingly clear to Katsuki that they were doing this. For all the differences the had in sexual experience, they were committing to being with each other tonight. Katsuki tried to calm his thoughts, tried not to be shy, tried not to worry if he would be as good as other partners Izuku had before, tried not to let his inability to let people in end the bliss that they were in.
Izuku reached down between them, pressing his palm directly against Katsuki’s, very hard, dick. He hadn't realized how painfully hard he was until Izuku applied pressure there. Fuck, Izuku knew what he was doing. Was Katsuki supposed to touch his dick too? Was there some kind of rule book for touching each other at the same time? He reached down to unbutton Izuku pants, trying to jump in before he could psych himself out. The button wouldn't fucking come undone, his hands were shaky and sweating–
“Kacchan” Izuku grabbed both of his wrists and forced him to make eye contact with him. “What's wrong” He said gently.
Katsuki looked at him shamefully, it was humiliating. No one Izuku had ever been with was probably a shaking and squirming mess. “Are we having sex?” He nearly squeeled, unsure what else to say.
Izuku's face twisted in confusion. “I-” He paused. “I would like that, but we don't have to do anything Kacchan” he said genuinely.
He started to pull back but Katsuki grabbed him before he could. “No!” He stopped him. “No, I want to” He pulled them back towards the bed. “I guess i’m just worried.” He admitted vulnerably. If they were doing this, Katsuki would have to try his best to let his guard down.
Izuku smiled at him. “Okay” He squeezed his hands as he sat on the bed with him.
“Eijiro said there's lube in the drawer” He pointed at it as Izuku eyes trailed there. He sounded childish and scared still.
Izuku only laughed, “Okay, Kacchan” He gave him a chaste peck on the lips, Katsuki's nerves instantly calming again. He moved a piece of Katsuki's hair from his forehead. “Is that what you wanna do?” He whispered into the quiet night.
“I” he sighed, gaining the courage that was honesty. “Yeah” He nodded. “I really want to” He looked away from Izuku's blown out pupils.
Izuku moved over him, gently laying Katsuki down against the bed. It was so different than last night when they had laid here. Would his past self believe it? “I wanna give Kacchan what he wants” He whispered in Katsuki's ear, before nibbling at it again.
“ Fuck, Izuku” Katsuki whined, before pulling him flush against him and kissing his swollen mouth again.
He pulled him up, ripping the flannel that was barely hanging on off and stripping himself of his own vest. He looked like sex on two legs perched up on Katsuki's hips and drooling down at him. “Last time” Izuku said breathlessly as he reached into the side table and pulled out the small bottle of lube that was there as Eijiro promsied. “Did you top or bottom?” He said it casually in a way that took Katsuki back.
Top or bottom? “W-what last time?” He asked, too lost in what they were doing to fully grasp the question.
Izuku ripped the plastic covering off the bottle with his teeth, which again should not have been that hot. “ Dursday ” He said with plastic in his mouth. He spit it out on the floor beneath them. “Thursday, with that idiot” He didn't hide his disgust any longer. And Katsuki didn't want him to.
He didn't feel like lying aymore. He had Izuku, so he didnt need to lure him in. “I didn't sleep with him” He finally admitted. “I didn't even get his number, I don't even remember his name” It was like he was confessing to a priest as he spilled out his embarrassing lies.
For whatever reason, this was making Izuku grin again. “Ah, Kacchan was playing this game much longer than I realized” He laughed even as he grinding further down on Katsuki. Katsuki had to pull him back to prevent cumming in his pants before they even got anywhere. “So then, before that I guess?” He questioned.
They never talked about this kind of thing. “The dude in the basement?” He asked back.
Izuku squinted his eyes. “The..dude..” He tried to think. “Are you talking about that party we went to?” His eyes shot out wide.
“Yeah?” Katsuki shrugged.
Izuku moved off him a little. “That was–what? Five years ago?” He sounded worried.
Katsuki didn't feel ashamed about it. “Yeah, I guess” He said casually. “I have been busy kicking your ass” he tried to lighten the mood.
Izuku took a deep breath. “Wow” He sighed. “Okay, well then” He laughed a little awkwardly. “That time did you top or…” He likely felt awkward asking it again.
Katsuki was now officially embarrassed. Because somewhere in the moment he hadn't registered the real question. Did he want to top Izuku or be the one being fucked. His felt his cheeks flame. It wasn't something he had ever had to think about. “I um” He sat up a little. “We just sucked each other off, I don't really know who was on top ” He felt sick. “We didn't put it– nothing went in ” He tried to explain.
“Kacchan” Izuku looked at him deadly serious. “You’re a virign” He seemed startled, like he was taking something from Katsuki or doing something unforgivable.
Katsuki crossed his arms. “What? No!” He argued back.
“Uh, yes!” Izuku shot right back.
Katsuki felt like he was being taunted now. Like there was a juicy steak being held in font of his face and he was a dog being tricked. “Okay, what's that matter?” He glared at the other.
Izuku ran a hand down his face. “What matters is that your not sober and I'm Izuku ! ” He argued.
Katsuki took a deep breath before grabbing Izuku's arm and moving him closer. “Izuku, I'm not drunk, we already established that” He ran circle on his skin. “And yeah you're Izuku ” He smiled. “That's kinda the point” He teased.
Izuku was watching him with wide eyes and red cheeks. “Oh” He whispered. “Okay-” He tried to gather his thoughts. “Okay, yeah well” He was more fidgety and less confident as he was still straddled above Katsuki. “Are you sure you want to..” His face was painted with worry as if he were a crimiminal for doing this to Katsuki.
“I'm sure” Katsuki nodded quickly. “I'm really sure” He added.
Izuku's smile became a little less wobbly and a little more confident. “Okay” He repeated for the hundredth time. Then without any warning, he completely flipped them from their position, throwing himself down onto the bed and pulling Katsuki above him. Izuku's legs were now spread with Katsuki slotted between them. “If you're nervous–” He grabbed onto Katsuki's hips. “Not that I'm not nervous, of course!” He started rambling. “I mean not because I'm scared of sex, but because it's with Kacchan! Not that I think you would be bad or anything!” Katsuki smiled down at him as he continued. “Kacchans not bad at anything” He nervously laughed. “I just– I've thought about this before– and” He paused. “Is that too weird? I shouldn't have said that–”
Katsuki cut him off with a kiss, throwing them right back into the moment like no awkwardness had passed. “Get to it, Izuku” He smiled. “Before that nerdy voice makes me cream my jeans” He teased.
It shut Izuku up alright. “I knew you liked when I mumbled!” He pointed at Katsuki's blushing face. There was a soft moment between them where they both just watched the others smiling face, shyness and confidence coming together into a clumsy and passionate peak. “I was just trying to say” Izuku shifted under him. “I have done both so” He had to look away as he said it. “I-if you want me to be on bottom I can” Katsuki tried to hide his slow sigh of relief. He wasn't necessarily scared of anything in life but he had seen Izuku in the locker room and with his new found realization of being a virgin, he wasn't sure that was a route he was willing to take right now. “This time” Izuku added in the middle of his thought process.
Katsuki's eyes flashed back up to him. “This time?” He could hear the own hope in his voice. This wasn't a one time thing? Did Izuku want to date? Was he saying this could happen again? He could feel a giant and dopey smile start to form.
Izuku held his hand out in defense. “Yeah” He laughed. “Like with you – like right now, not that we have to again, I just mean like tonight with you I will bottom– ha” he chuckled.
Katsuki was too busy unbottoning the nerds pants to really hear whatever he was still mumbling on about. “Gonna suck you off” He said as a demand. He was tired of not being the one in charge.
Izuku make some sort of squeak. “Oh! Okay, Kacchan!” He lifted his hips as Katsuki slipped the pants off with ease. The leather was warm and tight against Izuku's thick thighs that Katsuki was now eagerly burying his head between.
Izuku smelled like musk and sweat and fucking everything Katsuki had pictured in the last few days. His mouth was drooling on its own as he took Izuku into his hand. It was thick like the rest of him and already spilling from the top. “ Fuck” He thinks he said it outloud.
Izuku involuntarily thrust up, the touch becoming too enticing. “ Kacchan” He groaned, nearly sending Katsuki into a voice induced coma. “ Please ” He whimpered. It sounded just like that night in the hot tub. It sounded like desire and need. It drew Katsuki in like a siren as he began to swallow Izuku whole. “ Ah ” Izuku murmured above him again. Katsuki held back his choking sounds as he could feel the tears gathering in his eyes from the lack of oxygen. He didn't care if he fucking died like this. At least it would be a good way to go. “ Kacchan, so good” Izuku muttered between labored breaths. “ I knew you'd be good” The words were going straight to Katsuki's dick. The praise from the worlds greatest hero over something as trivial as sucking dick. “ You’ve always been so– good” Katsuki could feel that he was close, his own dick was on the verge of ripping through his jeans.
Katsuki popped off grabbing Izuku while pushing his palm down onto his own throbbing erection. “I don't want us to cum yet” He complained, even as he only worked Izuku faster.
Izuku’s breath was working quicker and quicker. “ Fuck” His hips moved off the bed and into Katsuki’s fist. He looked down, hardly believing he was blessed with the sight. “Okay–” He grabbed Katsuki's wrist, preventing him from moving anymore. “Your’e gonna have to give me a minute then” He pinched his eyes closed, trying to focus. “Can you– do you know how to–”
“I can figure it out” Katsuki grabbed the bottle of lube from the table, even the feeling of shifted over Izuku feeling like it would push him over the edge. He covered his fingers in the clear liquid diligently. Katsuki didn't half-ass things and he would give his all even if it was giving Izuku the best damn fingering ever. He moved down a little, gently grabbing Izuku's dick again. Izuku’s eyes were lustfilled as Katsuki moved one of his legs over his shoulder. The freckled thigh lifted a little from the bed as Katsuki shakily moved his finger passed Izuku.
It went in easily, practically sucking Katsuki in instead. The feelign was weird, not necessarily good, but not as painful as Katsuki thought it seemed. Izuku relaxed around him as Katsuki moved in and out. Was this all? Izuku made it look too easy. He became bolder, adding another finger as he pushed in this time. “Up” Izuku said as Katsuki continued pushing in and out. Katsuki was a quick learner and when it came to Izuku there was no one that could read him better. He curled the two fingers up, listening on command to what Izuku ordered. He felt a small section of tissue that he could prode this way. Izuku's back instantly arched up and off the bed. “There!” He wailed.
Katsuki had never seen anything like it. He hadn't seen Izuku painted in this light. The faces he was making was nothing like the determination or cheery admiration he usually saw. The fact that any one else on this goddamn planet had seen Izuku just like this pissed him off, it made him want to blow them up one by one. He pressed the tissue harder and fast causing Izuku to throw his hand over his mouth. Katsuki instantly reached up, growing more and more confident in his ability to completely unwind the hero, and threw the hand back off. “I wanna hear you” He ordered, now adding a third finger.
Izuku still gritted his teeth even if he was listening now. “I'm close” He cried. “I’m ready” He nodded, eyes pinched shut as Katsuki pulled his fingers back out.
He was still shaking even if he was starting to feel less nervous. He wanted to be the best, needed to be the best person Izuku’s ever been with. “What do you like?” He asked genuinely as Izuku's eyes were rolling back with pleasure, his dick still in Katsuki's hand
“What?” He sighed. He clearly was having a hard time thinking straight, only further edging Katsuki on.
“I wanna be the best” Katsuki admitted. “I don't want anyone to compare, so tell me what you like” He asked again.
Izuku’s face flushed as he now understood the question. He only became more bashful once he realized Katsuki wasn't joking at all. “I-I like control” He said quietly. The image of Izuku conquering him just like he would any villain made his breath hitch. Izuku sat up, unbuttoning Katsuki pants as he spoke. He didn't waste time, pulling Katsuki from his pants and wrapping his scarred hand around his dick. The touch was too much after being so close for so long. “I wanna ride you” He nodded, now stroking Katsuki faster. “If that's okay” He added shyly. “But pretty much anything with Kacchan will be better than anyone else” He smiled. “Cause you already are the best ” He leaned forward whispering it in Katsuki's ear.
And Katsuki did cum that time. The praise, the lingering breath, the heroic hand pulling the tension out of him was too great to deny the pleasure washing over him. It didn't even phase Izuku as Katsuki let out a long groan. “Fuck, Izuku” He winced as the man hadn’t stopped moving him up and down. He was mad at himself for succumbing so easily. Maybe he could just go back to fingering Izuku?
“You can go again” Izuku demanded to him. Katsuki looked at him confused. Was that something that could happen? Tears formed in his eyes again as Izuku's hand became overstimulating. He could feel his dick going soft as Izuku only gripped him harder. “Come on, baby” He encouraged him. “I want you inside me so bad” He whined. Katsuki could already feel himself growing again. “I wanna ride you, wanna be the first” He sounded on the verge of tears as he rolled them back over. He kissed up Katsuki's neck, Kasuki now thrusting up into his hand as he shook. “No one deserves you the way I do” He said against his chest.
That was the last it took for Katsuki to be fully ready again. Izuku had done expert work at using his own cum to lubricate Katsuki dick enough for Izuku to slide onto him. He lifted his powerful thighs, lining himself up as Katsuki squirmed uselessly below him. “Izuku–” Katsuki managed to spit out his name as he slowly lowered himself down. Katsuki hadn't ever felt anything like it. He went down easily, only letting out a sound when he hit the bottom.
Katsuki could hardly hear anything over his own mind washing and waving the sights in front of him through memory banks and wet dreams. Izuku leaned forward, to pry the hands Katsuki had at some time put in front of his eyes. He must have been overwhelmed by the picture in front of him. Izuku threaded his fingers through the others and forced them at the side of Katsuki's head. He was crying, he could feel it on his cheek. “Does it hurt?” He managed to croak out to Izuku.
He leaned forward to kiss the tears from Katsuki's cheek. “Not at all” He smiled. “Are you okay?” His voice was laced with the kind of sincerity that made Katsuki melt.
“Yeah-” His voice broke. Why was he crying? “It's a lot” He disclosed vulnerably.
Izuku leaned back again, relieving some pressure. “You’re doing amazing, Kacchan” he praised. “Is it okay if I move?” He asked genuinely.
Katsuki adjusted his hips with Izuku’s weight on them. He nodded finally when he felt like he wasn't going to cum on command again. Izuku took the green light for what it was has he lifted up and slammed back down again. Katsuki's eyelids slammed closed as white light flashed under them. Izuku was relentless in his rhythm, lifting and slamming as Katsuki had no option but to take it.
He didn't want to just take it. He grabbed Izuku’s hips, forcing him to stop. Izuku looked concerned for a brief moment before he saw the familiar determination on Katsuki's face. He sat up, leaning against the head board. Izuku's arms found purchase on his shoulders as he took a second to catch his breath from all the work he had been doing. Katsuki dug his heels into the bed, lifting Izuku and thrusting up into him.
This must have been what Izuku really wanted, as he threw his head back in pleasure. Izuku liked control, but he also liked when there was someone safe there to take the burden from him. Katsuki could do what he was told sometimes . And if the ask was coming in the form of the heavenly sighs Izuku was letting out, he sure as hell could provide.
He knew he was already close again as he continued thrusting up faster and faster. “ Like that ” Izuku moaned. Katsuki took a play from the others book as he left sloppy trails of spit and sweat down Izuku’s throat. “I’m close” he warned. He didn't know if it was possible for anything more to come out. He continued on as Izuku now began lifting himself up and down to meet Katsuki pace.
They were always amazing at team work.
“ Touch me, Kacchan” He pleaded as he pulled Katsuki in for another kiss. He wondered if Izuku could taste himself on his lips. He listened obediently, the only one he would do it for. He moved one of the hands bruising Izuku's hisp to grab his cock set between them. “ Those hands” Izuku moaned at the touch. “ They were meant for pleasure” He rambled on like he would in any other situation. Like there wasn't a cock in his ass. It was fucking infuriatingly hot. “I’m glad they’ve never done this” His eyes were shut as he rode the high that was sex with the blonde.
The more Izuku ran his mouth, the closer his words were pulling Katsuki to the edge again. Who would have thought the annoying mumbling of the boy he used to hate would soon feel like rhapsodies runnning through his nervous system. He laughed in joy out of pure bliss as he made his few final thrusts. He would have to pull out soon. They hadn't even had a talk of condoms. He guessed since he was a virgin and Izuku was over protective they didnt have to worry. “I'm close” He repeated again. “Hop off” He groaned as he attempted holding it in.
“I can take it” Izuku said clearly. “Let go” He demanded.
It were as if the words were laced with mind manipulation. He worked his hand against Izuku faster as his second orgasim blasted through him. Izuku was soon to follow either from the quickening of pace or the warm wash spilt inside him. He continued the up and down motion as Katsuki felt his bones crumbling. When they both had rode out the feeling Izuku all but collapsed on his shoulder, not attempting to move yet. “Izuku” Katsuki said blindly, unsure if it was a question or a statement.
It took a second for Izuku to answer, lost in the moonlight and sweat. “Yeah?” He finally answered back. He looked up to meet Katsuki's eyes, freckles being showcased under the lust of green.
Katsuki reached up, running a finger across them. Was this it? Were they together now? How was one supposed to ask that sort of thing. “How was it?” He asked instead hoping the conversation would lead them there anyway.
Izuku laughed, putting his forehead against Katsuki. He wrapped his arms tightly around his back. “Fantasic, Kacchan” He smiled.
Katsuki felt the pride swell in his chest. Of course he was the fucking best. “Me too” He responded in bliss. “I mean you were good or whatever” he rolled his eyes.
Izuku kissed him again, slower and without reason. Were moments like these the ones that Katsuki had to look forward to? Would Izuku come home and kiss him just out of pure desire? Would they sneak off together on missions to sneak small peeks or quick hugs? Could they walk the streets together holding hands, unbothered by whatever the extras thought, as they never slept in different beds again-
“Did you want me to stay?” Izuku asked as he crawled off the bed. Katsuki could feel his face change. He was unsure of what face he was making before but the words felt like a whip to the back. Had that not been obvious? Did Izuku not want to stay? Izuku read his face quickly. “I just mean so you can sleep again?” He seemed different. Did he already have second thoughts?
Katsuki couldn't let him leave, not after that. He didn't care how desperate it was. “Yeah” He said truthfully. “I want you too” Izuku looked away from him as he said it. “So I can sleep” He added when Izuku would no longer look at him.
He was probably just being awkward is all. They would lay down and all of this would be okay again. “Okay” He gave another goofy and fake smile. “I’m gonna go–” He pointed to the bathroom, still completely naked and unashamed. “Clean-”
“Yeah” Katsuki nodded. “Yeah, for sure”
They sounded like two people who had never talked to each other before. Katsuki could only panic for so long before Izuku was back. He crawled back in, Katsuki making room for him as he did so. They were both naked, completely comfortable with each others bodies after years of helping each other perfect them. Izuku was watching him as he pulled back the covers for him. He saw his face softened, as if he was on the verge of tears, before crawling in close to Katsuki's warmth. “Thanks, Kacchan” he said shakily.
Katsuki didn't know what for really. He hadn't really understood any of the last five minutes. He didn't have a response so he didn't give one. He curled his arm tighter around the other as he let his eyes close. “Goodnight, Izuku” He whispered.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku tried to sleep, tried not to overthink what had happened. He told himself over and over again as he feel asleep that it was real, that Kacchan had wanted it too. But why were there moments that felt like walking on egg shells?
This time? Izuku had said it and Kacchan had repeated it back with a disgusted look on his face. Was it too forward? Did he scare him off?
And then, Do you want me to stay? He had asked it in a frenzy of demoralized devotion to the other. Katsuki had said yes but with an unsure twinge deep in his voice. He tried to put them off as moments on inexperienced nervousness. But were they?
And then, when morning comes and Izuku’s hardly let himself sleep, too focused on soaking up the nudity of their bodies tangled up and the steady hand on his back, he forces himself up. He doesn't look at the other too long in the light, he does not let himself image if this were at home, if they woke up like this everyday. He cant have hope too fast.
He needs to clean off again, completely being resoaked in the stickiness of cuddling. He needs to stop overthinking and figure it out. He can turn this around, he can make Kacchan see what they could be. He just need to make this last day perfect. There was determination in him, determination he would make Kacchan see.
He almost makes it to the bathroom when theres a knock at the door. Its loud and demanding. “Hey man, you in there” It sounded like Kaminari or maybe Sero? Did Katsuki want to make this a whole thing? Was he ready for them to be together together. “Ohhhhh, you with that dude again?” The man who was clearly Kaminari teased again.
Izuku tried to think fast as he heard the door they left unlock turn. He leaves. He shuts the balcony door quietly, even if there is no chance Kacchan would hear it. His clothes are half on as he jumps from the top and lands with a quiet thud. The walk to his hotel was quick, eager to slip in and out and start the new.
He quickly gets ready for the day with a smile, ready to see Kacchan for breakfast, bath him in love if he got the chance in secret. They could discuss whether they wanted everyone to know then.
He sends him a text.
Me
I left while you were still sleeping! Wanna meet for breakfast :)
Sent 9:03 a.m.
There was no response. He waited and waited but there was never one to come. Izuku went to breakfast alone. He waited for Kacchan to show there too. He didn't. After several hours passed and the words on the botton screen screamed loudy read, he came to the conclusion that last night wasn't what he thought it was. Last night didn't mean the same thing to Izuku as it had the other. Kacchan didn't answer him because he didn't want to.
Kacchan didn’t do things he didn’t want to do, that had always been a fact that Izuku hadn’t taken lightly.
Chapter 5: Fireworks
Summary:
The morning after their night together they both realize whats truly at stake
Notes:
My dog died, several of my flights got cancelled, and I had the flu but NEW CHAPTER!
Enjoy:)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
✵ Katsuki ✵
Katsuki would always be there for Izuku, even if it wasn't something he often said out loud, it was like a quiet vow between them. That's what he always thought.
Katsuki woke up to a shift in the bed, Izuku stood and dressed as Katsuki had the pleasure of watching him. He didn't speak, not yet, he just enjoyed watching in silence as the image was the first thing he would see this morning, maybe every morning. He padded to the bathroom before the shrill voice of Kaminari rang through the room. Katsuki could barely hear it, but he knew it was him. Today they were throwing Eijiro and Mina a bridal shower and Kaminari had insisted they woke up bright and early to go pick up a cake at some famous bakery around here. He was about to get up, when he watched Izuku panic. Before the nerd could even ask Katsuki he was out the balcony doors and gone without a goodbye.
He was embarrassed, he didn't want anyone to know about them. Katsuki couldn't even blame him if he was being honest. Katsuki was a hard person, people took a long time to warm up to him. Most of Japan didn't like his attitude and half of his problem when starting his own agency had been that he was shit at communicating with people. It didn't make his chest feel any less tight.
He thought last night was final. He thought they had made some sort of commitment to each but he should have seen this coming. They weren't in their right minds, Izuku was jealous and Katsuki was desperate and it resulted in Katsuki's heart being ripped from his chest.
He finally got up when Kaminari kept pounding and pounding, bound and determined for Katsuki to explode the damn hotel room. He hurriedly got dressed in the first clothes he could find, the same sleep shirt he had let Izuku borrow a few nights ago. He pulled the door open, running a hand through his hair. “What?” He said annoyed as Kaminari stood there completely ready for the day.
His voice was quick and lower than the yelling had been. He was speaking too fast for Katsuki to keep up with his straining ears. He held up a finger as he walked to the other side of his room, leaving the door open for Kaminari to follow. He slipped the ear pieces in and turned them on. “Sorry man!” Kaminari apologized. “I didn't realize I woke you up!” He gave a sly smile.
Katsuki wanted to say you didn't. He wanted to scream that Izuku was here and his betraying body was the one that woke him from another rare restful night. He wanted to brag about everything that had happened and leave out the humiliating part of being abandoned by someone he thought was a forever person. But, Izuku didn't want that. “S’fine” He landed on.
Kaminari's face dropped a bit, his cheery expressions turning more serious. He clamped a hand over Katsuki's shoulder. The weight felt like a punching reminder. How gentle he had been touched and held last night, would he ever feel it again? Would his life remain with friendly pats and battle bruises. “You okay?” Kaminari asked gently. Katsuki felt his shoulder shake. Fuck. He didn't want Kamianri to see him weak. He didnt want him to know he had feelings to hurt. Another heave came through him as he tried to keep it in. Kaminari used his shoulder as leverage to pull him in, wrapping his arms around his torso without permission. Katsuki only lasted a few seconds of the touch before the heaves came faster and this time with tears. It was soundless and pathetic as he squeezed Kaminari back. He let his guard down, not caring that Kaminari wasn't resistant to his explosions. He needed this as much as he hated to admit it.
He felt Kaminari squeeze tighter as he likely gathered evidence from the room. The hat Izuku had left behind, the bottle of lube they had abandoned after using, the wrinkled sheet and tousled room. There was practically sex written in the air around them, Izuku written in the air around him. “Awe man” Kaminari moved a hand to cup the back of Katsuki's head. “I’m so sorry, Katsuki” He held him.
Katsuki let himself be held, he would kill Kaminari if he ever brough it up again but fucking Half and half could’ve been the one to walk in the room and he would’ve collapsed all the same. He was fucking weak when it came to Izuku. He left, he signed. Kaminari knew sign well enough to read little sentences like that.
His face was tight with anger as he watched Katsuki cry for the first time since the war. Katsuki cried plenty, but never in front of people, and never over stupid shit like this. “Fuck ‘em” Kaminari said seriously. “You know he is fucking stupid, right?” He spat. Katsuki’s shoulders heaved again as Kaminari held them tight. He searched his face for evidence that he wasn't lying. He needed proof that he hadn’t been in the wrong, that he hadn’t fucked anything up. “This is just like the whole ‘Join my agency thing’, he has his head too far up his ass to understand you” He shook his head, clearly pissed off for his friend.
Katsuki took a deep breath. “What do I do?” He asked pathetically. Although Kaminari didn't seem like someone who would give the best advice, he had been through this before. He and Shinsou had a long and rough journey to get where they were.
The electric hero took a deep breath himself, letting go of Katsuki now that he was calmer. “You forget about him” He nodded. “At least for today” he looked at him seriously. “Give yourself some space and ask yourself if you really want him” Katsuki felt it was like a punishment from god. “He has got to be the one to figure his shit out, because this” He pointed to Katsuki’s broken face and wet cheeks. “Is fucking ridiculous” His voice was sharp and his anger was rare. “I swear to god if he wasn’t the strongest person here, I would bash his fucking head in” Kaminari added. The anger and threats were very out of character for him, but if Katsuki's frends were anything, they were loyal to each other.
Katsuki couldn't answer, he didn't like when people were upset with him, but he hated it even worse when people were upset with Izuku. He had this innate sense deep inside of him that made him want to correct them, protect his image, tell them their wrong. Kaminari wasn't wrong. Izuku was acting like a piece of shit and whether this was the misfortune of his stupidity or the true actions of his fucked up mind, Katsuki had gotten hurt in the process and he had to protect himself too. He couldn't let himself be the victim of Izuku's inability to make anyone special. He had held Izuku on a platform above everyone else for nearly their entire life and if he couldn't get that treatment back then he had to step away and wait for that to be the case. “I’m gonna get ready,” he said, voice hoarse and embarrassed. “Then we can go” He disregarded Kaminari’s words.
He could feel the man looking at him worried without having to actually look up at the other. “It's okay if you don't feel like it–” He tried to apologize.
“Did I say I didn't feel like it?” Katsuki snapped back, spiraling back into old habits and crude ideology.
Kaminari's face didn't change from the soft one, knowing Katsuki defense mechanisms like the rest of the class. “Okay, okay” He smiled. “I’ll wait in the lobby for ya” He backed off instantly, knowing Katsuki's mood would only worsen with prying.
The door closed soft and gently as if Kaminari was scared he was going to detonate the bomb that was Katsuki if he became too rough. Katsuki hated that he was right, he hated that his friends knew that when he was angry he was dangerous, he was a weapon that sometimes he couldn't even control. He had been working on it, he had made leaps and bounds worth of progress since high school and even more so since middle school, but every so often, in times where he felt out of control and spiraling he lost it. This would not be one of those times. He wouldn't let himself lose it over Izuku, not like he had last time.
It had been late that night after their yearly class A reunion dinners. This one in particular was going to be special. Not only were they celebrating Todoroki jumping to the number two spot, but they were also celebrating Izuku being back out in the field. Katsuki had another plan for the night that no one knew about. Now, with Izuku back out there he could do what he had wanted to do, what they had wanted to do together since childhood. He was going to ask Izuku to be his partner, stand at his side for the rest of their lives, and do what they are best at.
It was a flawless plan minus the fact that Eijiro had shown up and asked for a ride to the dinner. Apparently he and Mina had gotten into some pity fight and she was refusing to talk to him at the moment. As dramatic as it sounded, Katsuki wasn't worried for them, they always figured it out in the end. Nonetheless, giving Eijiro a ride meant that he wouldn't be able to talk to Izuku alone and if he waited until dinner was over there was a chance Izuku would have drank. He wanted his answer to come from a completely sober state of mind.
Eijiro did the pleasure of showing up to Katsuki’s apartment unannounced and using the key that Katsuki had given him, for emergencies, to throw himself onto the couch dramatically as he held back tears. Katsuki hadn't even flinched at the sight. It wasn't the first time Katsuki had been caught in the middle of these two fighting. Their fights were never serious, always Eijiro forgetting something like a cousin's birthday or Mina’s favorite food at a restaurant and then Mina accusing him of being too much of a man and not paying attention to her needs. It always ended with Eijiro sweeping her off her feet with flowers and a kiss to the cheek promising they’ll never fight again.
It reminded him of his parents. No matter how angry they got, how much time they spent apart, or how many tears were shed, his father would always put his mother first and save whatever was broken. They didn't let little things crush down on the bigger relationship they had created together. Neither couple would let themselevs crumble even if it meant scary conversations and tearful arguments.
So, since Katsuki wasn't a complete asshole, and could pretty much guarantee they'd be perfectly fine by the time the appetizer came out, he agreed to take him. The only problem was that now he was going to have to ask Izuku in front of Eijrio. The paperwork was already packed neatly into the console for when Izuku was ready to sign and he had even had Inko bake some of her chocolate chip cookies so they could share them at his apartment later this evening in celebration.
Eijiro’s crying on the couch hardly phased him as he went to grab his keys and wallet. Apparently, however, he had been speaking this entire time without Katsuki listening to anything. “Can you hear me?” He found Eijiro suddenly standing in front of him as he was ready to leave. He grabbed Kasuki's cheeks and turned his head left and right. “Your hearing aids are in which means you're purposefully ignoring your best friend who is upset and losing the love of his life here!” He groveled.
Katsuki tried to hide his surprise at how lost in thought he had been. “Sorry” He mumbled. “W-What happened?” He stuttered as he felt and made sure he had everything. He was picking Izuku up from the school so he wanted to make sure he had a snack since the nerd had probably skipped lunch.
He felt the protein bar in his pocket as he bent down to put his shoes on. “You aren't listening again!” Eijiro complained, sitting down too closely next to him. “Then she said–”
Katsuki dropped his shoe with shaky hands, cutting Eijiro off. “Shit” He said quietly as he bent down to retrieve it.
Eijiro stopped talking finally, now looking at Katsuki concerned for the other rather than himself. “You good, dude?” His voice still wet from his own problems. “You look more nervous than when I proposed” He tried to joke.
It wasn't a joke to Katsuki. It did feel like a proposal. It was everything he had worked towards for 25 years coming together in one make or break moment. He shoved Eijiro lightly, hoping to push the sympathetic look off him. “Maybe your pathetic excuse of a fight is just draining the life from me” He tried to excuse.
Eijrio could see through it. “Seriosuly man, are you–” He paused as he looked at the All Might card Katsuki had attached to his keys, signed and laminated. “Are you doing it tonight?” He suddenly smiled. “Like-like right now?” He grabbed Katsuki's shoulders. Unfortunately, no matter how nervous and annoyed with Eijiro he was right now, a giant smile at the idea of finally doing this overcame his usal scowl. “Oh my gosh, dude!” Eijiro squeezed harder. “Shit” His face fell as the out of character curse came from his lips. “I shouldn't be here!” He realized. He hurriedly slipped on his shoes as he pulled out his phone. “I can-well” He tried frantically. “Maybe-” He kept scrolling. “You know what, i’ll walk” He nodded, already heading for the door.
Katsuki grabbed his wrist to stop him. “It’s fine” He said, too giddy to be upset anymore. “It’ll probably make it less weird anyway” He nodded. “But lets go, or were gonna be late and Mina’s gonna be even more upset with your lousy ass” He laughed.
Eijiro nodded, tears already in his eyes. “Oh man, okay!” He said excitedly. They headed down the stairs of his apartment as Eijiro continued rambling on about how awesome tonight was gonna be. “This is so manly of you man!”
Katsuki was excited. So excited that he didn't care when Eijiro plugged his phone into the music, didn't care when he stole the protein bar that Katsuki had intended for Izuku, and didn't even flinch when he saw crumbs flying out of it either. The drive was all him in his head, rehearsing what to say to perfection. “Stop chewing so damn loud” He finally snapped when he could hear the red heads sharp teeth clamping down.
Eijiro had been leaned over the console looking at the back of his new porsche. He was certainly proud of the vehicle and had been extra careful when designing the inside. “Sorry” He mumbled, pulling back from Katsuki's ear. “I see what you're doing here though” He waved his finger.
Katsuki glared at him. “Whats that?” He asked annoyed.
Eijiro laughed. “Midoriya hasn't seen the new whip yet, right?” He teased. “Trying to swoon him, really butter him up before the big ask” He nudged him in the arm resting on the center console.
Katsuki felt his neck heat up. “No one is swooning anyone, you freak” He shot back. “He asked for a ride, so I am giving him a ride” He glared.
Eijiro raised his eyebrows as they pulled up to the school. “This is like way out of your way, you live right by the restaurant” He eyed him. “I don't know, that's pretty sweet of ya, Kacchan” He teased.
Katsuki wasn't bothered by the teasing, not anymore. Not now that Izuku was walking out of the building towards them. He wore his ill-fitting suit and tie everyday, just like he still attended the school. Most of the teachers dressed casually, or wore their hero costumes, not that Izuku cared. Katsuki knew it was just another nod towards his love for All Might. He had worn a suit when teaching Izuku and Katsuki in their secret meetings, so Izuku would too now. It was sweet, no matter how many times Katsuki had to teach and reteach Izuku to tie his lousy ties.
“Shut up, he is coming” he managed to spit out at Eijiro before Izuku pulled open the door to the backseat.
“Oh hi Kirishima!” he grinned at the guest he didn't know would be joining them. “Hi, Kacchan” he purred even sweeter. Both boys nodded as they watched Izuku's eyes widen at the interior of the car. “Wow! This is amazing, Kacchan!” He started on.
Katsuki could feel Eijiro watching him watch Izuku. He felt pride well in his chest as Izuku complimented his design choices over and over again. He maneuvered into the comfy seats, a wide grin on his face as he talked about how he always knew Kacchan would make it big and spend his money wisely. By the fourth or fifth compliment Katsuki finally shut it down with grouchy words that had no bite and took off.
The drive wasn't something he liked thinking about. The confession he had laid down in front of them. The way he had turned down countless sidekicks and aspiring heroes from his agency because he needed to budget in the cost of Izuku. The way that none of the people wanted to surpass him, just wanted to admire him. The way that there was only ever one person in his life that had ever wanted to compete with him for as long as they both could. He didn't like remembering the face on Eijiro when Izuku said he wanted to be a teacher still, didn't want to be with Katsuki anymore. How Eijiro had teased izuku for being dense even as Katsuki choked on his own words in the front. He hated the way the rest of the dinner went by as normal like the weight of the world wasn't crushing down on Katsuki.
Then he tried one last time. He told Izuku he wanted to be special, he wanted what they had had with each other for all those years, and told him he was it for him. Izuku had taken this as an opportunity to grow closer to Ochako after years of therapy for both of them. Katsuki had let him leave that night, Izuku turned back once to wave as Katsuki watched him until he faded.
It felt like that was how it had always been, Katsuki watching and watching as Izuku moved further and further.
Mina and Eijiro were as happy as could be, just as Katsuki knew they would be. Eijiro left with her and the other idiots after a begrudging hug and an explanation for Izuku that Katsuki refused to hear. He drove home alone that night, the dark streets and silence giving him no comfort. His house felt colder and emptier, he wasn't expecting to enter it alone tonight. Tofu greeted him with a purr, even though she could tell something was wrong. He picked her up, tears welling in his eyes again. He didn't want to cry over this. He was acting like a child who hadn't got their way. “You’d wanna be my hero partner wouldn't you?” He teased his pet as she watched him confused.
He put her back down, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. There they were, the cookies wrapped in a clear plastic on one of Inko’s glass plates. Katsuki had left a note on top.
We did it!
He grabbed it and set fire from his palm to never see it again. He wouldn't be angry, he wouldn't lash out. He tore open the plastic and bite into a cookie in spite. He had still done it, he could celebrate, it just wouldn't be with Izuku, not anymore.
It took him days to go back to the agency. He hadn’t called out in his entire 6 years of hero work, but he had also not gone a day without thinking that eventually he would be back out here with Izuku, and that's what crushed him. When he went back, he tried harder. He bounced straight up to number 5, right behind Izuku. If he wouldn't get to work with him, he would at least force him to compete with him. It was okay, really.
Everything would have been okay, if last night hadn't happened. If Katsuki could've kept it together, not processed these feelings that had been dwelling for longer than he had even known, he wouldn't be feeling like shit right now. If he hadn't begged Izuku to kiss him and then let them go further, to a place where Katsuki only dreamed, he wouldn't be crying again.
And if Izuku hadn't left, embarrassed by what they had become, then maybe Katsuki would have been happy right now. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, probably Kaminari telling him he needed to hurry. He ignored it for now as he got dressed, it was chilly as evidenced by the still open balcony door. The great escape. He threw on a hoodie and jeans and didn't even bother putting his hair up. He slipped the glasses back on from last night and made his way to the lobby.
He finally checked his phone once he exited the elevator.
Nerd
I left while you were still sleeping! Wanna meet for breakfast :)
Sent 9:03 a.m.
Yeah, you left he thought. Right when someone would discover us.
Katsuki glanced up to the accommodating breakfast area. He saw Izuku, not at the breakfast area but instead at the front desk, where the woman was beaming and holding Izuku's arm. It hadn't even been 8 hours since they hooked up and he was already flirting with moron-san again. Katsuki shoved his phone back into his pocket. What he also saw was the man from the bonfire two nights ago. If Izuku wanted to be an asshole, then Katsuki would swoop down to his level too.
He walked past the front desk, brushing shoulders roughly with Izuku. The man turned around, an apology likely ready for whatever stranger had ran into him. “Oh, Kacchan!” He said proudly.
Katsuki ignored him, heading straight for the coffee where the douchebag was filling his styrofoam cup, he didn't know this mans name either. He walked up, more infuriated than confident. He could feel Izuku still watching him as he purposely brushed his shoulder against the shorter mans, much more gently than he had Izuku's. He gave a charismatic smile, usually saved for reporters and fans. The mans eyes flashed in realization as he smiled back. No words were exchanged as the man reached around him, brushing his lower back, to grab a lid for the steaming contents of his cup. Katsuki picked it up for him, and smiled brightly, fakely, as he handed it to the other.
He quickly got his own coffee, feeling repulsed and anxious as it filled to the brim. He turned around, Izuku still watching him, flashes of hurt and anger, as he no longer listened to the desk chick. He only watched from his peripherals as he made his way to where Kaminari and Eijiro were now waiting on him, sorrowful faces of there own.
Passing Izuku was hard, but the grab on Katsuki's arm from Eijiro was harder. “What the hell was that little show?” He said angrily.
Kaminari grabbed him too, forcing Eijiro to relax his grip. “Trust me man, Izuku deserved that” he rolled his eyes.
Katsuki tried to ignore how wrong that felt. “Lets just go, cake isn’t gonna pick itself up” He grumbled.
Eijiro ignored both of their excuses as they stepped into the cool air of the day. “No, if what I think happened last night happened, then whatever I just saw isn't okay” He argued, even as he followed them to the bus they were taking.
Katsuki walked in front of them, not wanting to show his face that they could both read like a book. “Ei, just drop it, okay” he tried to sound rough even if it came out as a beg.
Eijiro took a few striding steps to catch up with Katsuki, grabbing his arm again and stopping all three of them in the middle of the street. “Katsuki, man, don't do this” He sounded so genuine. It pissed Katsuki off further. “Don’t run away–”
“I’m not the one that ran!” He screamed in his friends face. Kaminari watched them both. The three of them didn't fight hardly ever.
Eijiro let go, looking at Kaminari for confirmation he clearly had. Kaminari only nodded. “What–”
“I woke up and he was climbing out of the balcony door like I was some one night stand” He spat. “Is that what you wanted to hear?” He felt his throat closing again. “Does that justify my actions for such a noble man like you, huh Ei?” He was taking his anger out on the wrong people.
He knew this was wrong, he had spent years correcting it, but in this moment it was flooding out. “Dude” Eijiro looked at him disappointed. “I get it, that's shitty” He sighed. “But it sounds like you haven't even talked to him, and now you're projecting your anger out on me when all I have done is worry for you both!” He threw his hands out. Katsuki rolled his eyes as he continued walking. The last thing they needed was to be late for the pick up. Eijiro and Kaminari followed him. “I know the whole feeling and expressing things is hard on you, I do” His voice softened. “But I have told you before, just like the night in the car, you don't explain yourself the best sometimes” he sighed again as Katsuki was doing his best to ignore him.
It was hard to do of course when the words were like blades piercing in his back. “Midoriya should've known what it meant” Kaminari took his side.
“Yeah he should!” Eijiro agreed. “But we have all known him for a decade, we should know he doesn't operate like that, he needs things spelled out and he is especially insecure when it comes to him” he pointed to Katsuki knowing that he was talking to Kaminari. “I’m not saying you're in the wrong here, okay” He touched Katsuki back to let him know he was talking to him again. “I’m not” he confirmed. “All i’m saying is that you tend to stop trying when someone doesn't get you right away” He gave a wobbly smile.
“Whats not to get?” Katsuki finally answered. He wanted to know, he really did, no matter how uninterested he sounded. Eijiro was always better at these things than he was.
Eijiro sighed a breath of relief, at least content that they weren't yelling at each other anymore. “Thats between you and Midoriya” He said what Katsuki feared. “You two have always spoken your own language” He gave a dry laugh. “But what's not going to help is ignoring each other” He pulled out his phone to check a text then looked at them both. “Mina said her and Ochako got the place set up” He nodded, clearly stressed.
It was then that a punch of guilt struck Katsuki. This was a weekend about Mina and Eijiro and Izuku and him had dragged everyone into their business making it all about them. Eijiro was now trying to be a good friend while Katsuki only made their weekend harder. “Lets hurry back then” He moved the attention from him. “I'm sure Mina will want us to be there early and you still look like shit” He teased his friend.
Eijiro looked down at his swim trunks and flip flops he was still wearing. “Oh man” He sighed. “You’re right” He bit his lips with his sharp teeth as Katsuki watched the gears in his mind turn.
Kaminari stepped in. “How about this?” He grabbed his friend's shoulder that was beginning to harden in stress. “Me and Bakuman will go grab the stuff and you go back upstairs and try to get presentable” He winked at him slyly.
You could see the tension release from the other at the words. “Seriously?” He looked at them both teary eyed. Without warning he tugged them both in for a deadly hug. “This is why you guys are my best bros” He sounded like he was bordering tears.
Katsuki let it happen for longer than usual before finally pulling away. “Okay, hurry” He said dryly.
Eijiro nodded, looking much better than earlier. “Right on!” He started heading back inside the hotel. “But Katsuki don't forget!” He held up his hand. “Talk to him, try to!” He was smiling now.
Katsuki turned it over for a second before nodding. “Let's get through the trip, okay?” He asked. “I wanna make this about you and Mina, me and Izuku have time” He gave his best smile.
An even brighter smile appeared from the red-head. “Whatever you say, man!” He gave one last wave before heading inside.
One more day. One more day of avoiding Izuku, avoiding his emotions, avoiding the fear of when reality would strike him. He could do it. He took a breath that was deeper than he meant too, like the release of everything pent up was forcing its way out. Kaminari was watching him as they loaded the bus, he could feel it. He hated pity, he hated feeling the attention on him when it wasn't basked in glory and admiration but instead sadness and woe.
Kaminari didn't pry, he didn't ask anymore questions that he knew would go unanswered. He also knew the more he brought up Izuku, the harder it would be for Katsuki to stay away. He would turn off his phone, put his head down, grit his teeth, bite his tongue, whatever it took to make this last day perfect for his friends.
They sat in silence on the bus, it had started to rain at some point, the weather reflected the mood it seems. Katsuki couldn't complain, he hated the rain but at least it would prevent them from going to the beach again. Everyone would want to go shopping or start packing and Katsuki would have a hard time staying away. He would lock himself in his room or follow Eijiro wherever he was needed.
The bus stopped as Kaminari tapped his arm to get up. He obeyed silently, swarming through the sidewalk of people to head into the bakery. The shop was homey, something that screamed Mina. There were bows on the wall and old wooden floors that creaked as the two large men walked through it. No one else was in here, as boxes of shiny white got placed on the counter. A frailer woman was the one placing them there as Katsuki could read ‘Eijiro Kirishima’ on the side of it in shaky handwriting. “I believe those are ours!” Kaminari said brightly.
The woman said nothing as she continued stacking the boxes on top of the counter, completely unaware that they were here. It was similar to how Katsuki would act sometimes if he didn't have his hearing aids in. Kaminari went to say something again but Katsuki stopped him with an arm to the chest. “Hold on” He said shutting the other up. He walked up slowly, trying not to scare her as he did it. He wasn't always the most approachable looking person. He tried to soften his face and straighten his posture. She was bent down, grabbing what could only be the fifth box of cupcakes Mina order. As she leaned back up Katsuki stuck a hand out, a gentle way of showing her he was standing there. She only jumped a little bit as she say him, clutching her chest with her frail hand.
Just as Katsuki had expected she didnt answer with words, but with a silent raise of her finger. She was deaf. Katsuki watched as she went to grab a piece of paper, probably how she communicated with most people who came into her bakery. Katsuki grabbed her arm gently to stop her.
I sign he told her as she watched him.
Her face twisted in confusion for only a second before she recognized him. A lot of his fans and civilians in Japan knew he was deaf. When he was out of uniform it wasn't the easiest to recognize him, especially since he hadn't done his hair this morning.
Dynamight She signed it quickly before grabbing his arm with one hand and her heart with the other. Her cheeks were red as she smiled up at him. And Chargebolt She pointed to Kaminari.
Katsuki smiled down at her as she still held his arm. He had worked on being more comfortable with his fans. If they crossed a line, then he would be an asshole, but someone like this old lady deserved his best behavior. We came for Kirishima’s order.
She looked over to the half a dozen boxes she had just sat up there. She mouth wow as she went to grab them. Katsuki hit Kaminari’s arm to grab his attention so they could pack up the cakes before this woman had the chance. They grabbed them with ease, a piece of cake, literally, for two full-time heroes.
She grabbed her chest, obviously completely smitten with the two well known individuals in her bakery, that can sign no less. Thank you, he signed quickly as he turned to leave.
She grabbed him again. Wait, wait, wait she threw her hands up sloppily and quickly. Katsuki sat the cake down as she ran as fast as her small legs allowed towards the bake of the bakery. He tried not to be annoyed, not in the mood for pictures or signing merch. Kaminari was quiet as the language barrier stopped his usual ramblings.
She turned around as she reached the door before waving her hand inward to signal them both to follow. Kaminari sat his boxes back down too before they both skeptically moved towards her. She held the door open for them as they stepped into what was something of a make shift office, likely where she took orders and made recipes.
That's when Katsuki saw what this was about. Above her small desk was a large hero poster with Katsuki's face on it. Well, Katsuki and Izuku. They were seventeen, the first photoshoot either of them had ever done. They were responsible for saving Japan, the world and all they had gotten out of it was a shitty poster with their shitty teenage faces on it.
Wonder Duo
The poster said it in big yellow letters. It had become somewhat of a trade mark amongst the two of them the first few years until Izuku had disappeared into teaching life. The Wonder duo became just Katsuki and then just Katsuki became Izuku sometimes, but nothing was ever the duo the world had expected of them after that horrible day.
He looked back down to her, a lump in his throat at what could have been, or what could be if Izuku was willing. Kaminari could likely feel the tension siphoning off his back at the sight. I love seeing you out there, the woman signed with a smile. Especially when you're with that one! She pointed at Izuku’s slightly chunky face with the horrible haircut he had been forced to endure for a few months after the war.
Katsuki looked back at her as she gently held a sharpie at her eye level. He smiled as he took it, even if it felt like a gun in his hand. He leaned over and signed it quickly, a small BK adding a tiny explosion off the tail of the K. She beamed at it as he handed her the pen back.
It looked incomplete to him. Missing the other half of the faux duo that never would. Without thinking about how much it hurt to look at, only thinking about the fact that he didn't want that era to be over, he pulled out his phone and took a quick picture. The old woman was in it as she stared up to their image in awe. It was the kind of thing that would've brought Izuku to tears.
Not Katsuki, he wouldn't think about it, he was only taking the picture because it was the kind of thing his mom and Inko would die to see.
They left the shop soon after, the woman bowing up and down eagerly as they left. It was still raining as the journey back became much harder than on the way there. Their hands were full and the wind had picked up. They didn't speak much still, as if the weight of Izuku was now weighing on them both. The doors were cold and wet as they pushed them open with their backs. As heroic as they were, they had managed to keep all of Mina’s precious sugar bombs completely dry and intact.
Katsuki took his hand to wipe off the beads of water that had collected on the top. He didn't feel bothered by it like usual. The first few years after he died the rain had scared him, he had once hated it but after that it became immobeling. Now, with a few more years under his belt he felt more comfortable with it. He had already died in it, what worse can happen?
The elevator was stuffy with humidity as they stuffed themselves in with tension and regret. He was thanking the gods above that he at least didn't have to be the one dressed up and picture perfect right now. He felt less than photogenic and much less than as perky as Mina would be. But he would try, he reminded himself.
“I can see you trying to push things down” Kaminari commented. “Your emotions are practically pouring out of your shoes down there” He pointed.
Katsuki ignored it as they enter the rooftop. Oh fuck, the rooftop. The party was supposed to be held up here with decorations and flowers and all kinds of glittery shit and it was, raining. He tried to hurry and set the cakes down on a table in the hallway before pushign the doors open and runing back into the rain.
He could already picture her on her tip toes trying to hang up ballons as it showered over her sparkly white dress. Her shoulder would be heaving as the evidence of her sobbing. She would be mad at Katsuki, he would have ruined everything.
Instead, when he pushed open the doors and the ran hit his wrists he was met with a calm Mina, a consoled mina, being comforted by Izuku. There was a tent. He didn’t order a fucking tent? It showered around the two of them as Izuku hung decorations with ease and Mina took breaths of relief. He moved over there, the desire of curiosity outweighing the disgust of betrayal. Did Mina pick up a tent? Did Eijiro? How had they even known it was going to rain? He felt like an idiot having to be confronted by her in front of Izuku, she was probably going to be upset if anything got ruined by his slip up. “Bakubabe!” She wore a giddy smile and threw her arms out.
He took the hug out of pure shock in her mood. Izuku didn't look at him as he kept hanging the balloons around the rim of the barrier. “Where did this come from?” He pointed at it, the florals and photos completely dry underneath. Fairy lights and candles illuminated the dreary sky.
Mina turned arond confused. “Oh were you supposed to pick it up or something?” She looked back at him. “I guess they just set it up for you!” She grinned as a sound from the door caught both of there attention. Eijiro walked up waving to them from the doorway as he prepared to make the quick dash over. “Anyway, thanks for being prepared!” She thanked him with another hug that he couldn't get his arms to return this time. “You’re the best” She smacked her lips against his cheek before running to jump in Eijiro's arms.
He grabbed one of the balloons Izuku was working on as the man stayed oddly quiet. “Whats this about?” he confronted him.
Katsuki had nothing to do with this day saving tent, no matter how much he wished he could claim it as his own doing. Izuku turned towards him, barely giving him the grace of eye contact. “I’m just doing what I was told” He said slyly.
“Not the hanging, you douchebag” Katsuki smacked his lips. “The fucking tent” He pointed above them “It has Izuku Midoriya saves the day written all over it” He sighed, throwing his hands onto his hip.
Izuku got on the step stool he was perched on to walk to Katsuki. “Well, if im being honest, I saw it was going to rain this morning and I was going to tell you over breakfast that I talked to Mori-san and she could get us a tent, but you were too busy making eyes at the dude who had no interest in you at the bonfire.”
Katsuki just stared at him. If this were any other day one of two things would happen. He would either slap a fat kiss on the lips that were still puffy from last night for saving his ass and the thousands of yen that they had spent on this party, or he would slap his exploding hand across the smug face for ever feeling any possession over what Katsuki did from now on.
It wasn't any day, it was an important day to his friends. “I don't want to talk to you” He finally answered with. “I don't want to look at you, I don't want to think about you” He moved closer. “Until this whole thing is over” He snarled.
He could see the moment Izuku's anger dissolved into hurt. “What?” He said smally. Katsuki almost felt bad. “What, what did I do-”
“Just stop-” Katsuki cut in.
“No” Izuku shook his head. “We talk, were talking about this!” He demanded.
“Izuku!” Katsuki finally shouted loud enough for Mina and Eijiro to hear them. They looked over with worry. Katsuki grabbed Izuku to move him further from the others slowly filing in, closer to the rain. “Listen,” He finally said with a sigh. “Later, okay?” He was concise and sharp with his words. “Tonight sometime, just not now.” His eyes followed towards Mina and Eijiro again. “I'm not going to be able to talk about this yet,” He finally made real eye contact for the first time since last night.
It was breathtaking. Izuku’s eyes, the ones always on him, looking at him in the way he always did, even if he was upset. “Okay,” He whispered, seemingly defeated by Katsuki's stubbornness.
“Okay,” Katsuki repeated back. Why did it feel so hard to walk away now? Why did this feel impossible, the pull away from someone he didn't even want to be talking too. Izuku was the one who turned to leave first as Uraraka and Todoroki both arrived through the rain together. “And uh-” He caught himself saying as Izuku turned around instantly to listen again. “Thank, for the-” He pointed around them. “Thanks” he stumbled over his words as he was struck by the feeling that was interacting with Izuku.
Izuku gave a sheepish smile, a small one that was equal parts genuine and fake. “You’re welcome, Kacchan” He said even quieter than his demeanor. “I know you worked hard” He nodded. “Didn’t want it to go to waste” His last sentence was pointed.
Katsuki didn't look back this time as he was the one to leave. He went to the opposite side of the tent where Izuku was still slowly working his way through the balloon arch. Izuku picked up where he left off on the other side of the tent. They didn't speak as they worked diligently together. They didn't speak as it was finished and the guests all arrived. Izuku kept his distance as he promised Katsuki and Katsuki kept his mouth closed as he promised himself.
Tonight they would talk, if Izuku would listen.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku was trying his best to keep it together. What was once a smile on his face, hope for the day and excitement for a new chapter together, quickly became a earth shattering feeling that hung low in his gut. He gave him the benefit of the doubt for as long as he could. Maybe he was already on his way, maybe that's why he didn't answer the text? Or maybe his phone wasn't working right or even dead after the night they had?
And then, when he saw him in the lobby, not more than an hour later, he felt his chest rise with hope again. That was, until he went straight past Izuku to grab the attention of the other.
Then, it was final. Kacchan was embarrassed, just like Izuku thought, about last night. He was drunk and regretful and Izuku would have to be the one to live with these feelings for the both of them. Why had he done it? Just so he could have another piece of Izuku? Have another thing to loom over him?
They still hadn't talked all day when the bridal shower rolled around. Izuku hadn't even tried to take the glory of being the one who saved them from rain. He let it all fall on Kacchan. Mina had beamed and Izuku had smiled, because still, he loved nothing more than cheering the blonde on, watching people admire him too.
When they saw each other it felt like seeing a past lover, a break up that ended in screaming and kicking. It wasn't that of course, it was nothing. So Izuku put his bravest face on and tried to be cordial.
He was doing well at keeping it together given his track record. He was about to make it through the day without breaking down at the sight of red eyes, until– until Kacchan said they could talk later. What would that entail? Was Izuku going to let himself beg? Was Kacchan going to gently put him down or horrifically throw him off?
It didn't matter what he thought because, right now they were still stuck here. He tried to be happy for Mina and Kirshima. He was happy for them. They all sat in a semi circle as the couple sat in the middle opening presents. Champagne flutes had been handed out early into the party with a heavy hand from Kaminari and Kacchan had started cutting the cake into slices that he deemed bearable.
Izuku let the booze and sugar distract him from what he was really feeling. He found himself actually laughing along with Ochako or adding on to stories Sero and Shouto were telling. He found himself being okay in the fake world he had created in his mind where he and Kacchan were no longer fighting. He wondered how long he could keep this up. He wondered if a life time was doable.
His present was coming up, a bundle of handcrafted hand clothes that read Kirishima’s on the side. Mina had been very open and very excited about taking Kirishima's name. She hardly ever went by Ashido to anyone anymore and she swore up and down that Mina Kirishima sounded just perfect. In the midst of her excitement Izuku had decided to get them something embroidered with the name.
“Oh my gosh, amazing!” She squealed as soon as she opened them. Izuku smiled bashfully as he felt eyes peer towards him with wide grins. “Thank you, Izuku!” She cheered.
“Yeah, man” Kirishima nodded along.
The only one not looking at him was the only one he wanted. “N-No problem” He answered with a goofy thumbs up.
They moved on quickly, carefully folding his gift before moving to ravish the next one. “Oooo, Bakugouuuu” Mina sang as she began ripping the paper open. Katsuki had his head in one hand and a flute of champagne in the other. Izuku watched as he tipped the glass back before slamming it, a little to hard, on the chair next to him. He leaned back with a regretful expression on his face as his friends began observing the gift.
After a few oo’s and ah’s mixed in with budding laughter over the gift, Izuku looked over to see what had sparked the reaction. Mina was holding up Izuku’s present again, the same towels of the same burgundy color with the same Kirishima’s scripted in the bottom left corner. Only his were still sitting on the table folded-which means... He and Kacchan had gotten them the same gift.
He bit his lip as he felt eyes going between the two of them now. “Wouldn’t expect anything less from those two” He heard Jirou mumble.
“Great minds think alike!” Mina cheered, still equally excited about the gift.
Kacchan still wouldn't look at him. “You guys know each other like freakily well” Sero commented.
It wasn't the time for any of this. The laughter died down only when everyone slowly began to realize that neither of the boys were commenting or laughing along. Izuku tried to chuckle, where as Kacchan didn't even try to hide the fact that this was humiliating for him. “Thanks to both of you” Kirishima said once the laughter had finally diminished.
It was quiet now. “You’re welcome-”
“Sure” Kacchan said at the same time. They looked at each other, for a few seconds their eyes meet at the collision of their words. The rain fell down behind them as Izuku watched everything move in slow motion. First Kacchan tried to look away, tried, but he couldn't either. Then Izuku felt his mouth open, trying to say anything from across the room, a joke, a tease, a whiny complaint that Kacchan had copied him. Then he saw Kacchan's pupils as they dilated larger. The red became remnants as black enveloped them, the simple sight of Izuku. Were his own doing the same?
“They are doing the thing again” He heard Ochako sigh. It woke them both from the daze.
“I’m going to get more booze” Kacchan said abruptly, standing up with a scrape in his chair. He didn't wait for anyone to stop him as he fell into the rainfall around them. His hair was down already, he was still wearing sweats from this morning, he was ignoring the rain as if it wasn't a sign of his demise. Something was wrong. Izuku just had to figure it out.
He wouldn't lose Kacchan again.
✵ Katsuki ✵
He was a little drunk again if he was being honest. Somewhere between Izuku saving his ass and they stars aligning on the weirdly niche gift they had both picked out, a bottle of champagne had been consumed by him and him only. Katsuki didn't even like alcohol really. He only ever drank it when he was out with his friends or they were celebrating something important, but suddenly here he was trying to soothe the anxiety from Izuku’s beady eyes with the carbonation in the glass, that was far too tiny for his big hands.
After the bridal shower had ended, Katsuki had headed straight back to his room to pack everything up since they were leaving early in the morning. He packed and repacked until everything felt just right and the alcohol finally felt like it was waning from his blood system.
Tonight there was a big fireworks show that the resort did on holiday weekends down on the beach. Their plan was to hang out, swim, watch the fireworks, and spend the last night reminiscing and being really fucking happy. So that is exactly what Katsuki would do.
He had a couple hours to spare before he was expected to corral the group up and make sure they were ready and where they were supposed to be. He pulled out his phone to make sure Mina and Eijiro hadn't needed anymore help after he walked all their gifts down to their room for them. Izuku had wordlessly taken down the tent and walked out of the rooftop with it, likely to return it to the desk.
There wasn't any messages from either of them but there was one message that came in from Izuku.
Nerd
I apologized to Momo about last night.
Sent 5:07 p.m.
I’m sorry to you too •︵•
Sent 5:08 p.m.
Katsuki felt his heart rate quicken and his palms began to sweat at the words. Now he was sorry? He not only left him but was sorry for hooking up with him in the first place. Katsuki scoffed.
Me
Yeah, we messed up
Sent 5:10 p.m.
That should cover his bases, between the bar fight and the sex, sure he would let Izuku think he regretted it all. In complete honesty, he didn't regret a single thing. He didn’t regret the dude's lip being busted, he didn't regret sleeping with Izuku, he did not regret spending the night with him, he didn't even regret the half second where he got to see him in the morning light. But he would never admit that to someone who didn't feel the same.
The message was left on read as he continued getting ready for the night. He had been a mess all day, he hated feeling disheveled, his mother raised him better than that. He put on the black swim shorts and converse he had laid out on, and slipped on a nice stripped button down that hung loosely on his body. He let the first few buttons stay open as his silver chain hung glistening on his chest. He finally fixed is hair and even went as far as throwing on his favorite cologne. Look good, feel good.
He would do all the convincing he could to tell himself and everyone around him that he was okay, that Izuku hadn't completely ruined him. He would talk to Izuku tonight, unsure of what he would say, but he was a man of his word. Maybe his words would be sharp and pointed, telling the man to get out of his face and leave him be. Maybe his words would be pathetic and yearning, a beg to just give them a chance. It all would depend on what Izuku had to offer for his shitty behavior.
He went down to the bar first, coke and rum, nothing crazy. He would stop there. Just enough to take some of the tension in his neck and replace it in the form of flushed skin. He didn't see any of their group while he was there so he decided to send out a reminder text just incase any of them were too far in their own drinking and partying to make the final beach hang out.
KiriMina’s Crew!!!
Me
Beach in 15, idiots
Sent 6:15 p.m.
It took a couple of seconds before the buzzes started roling in.
Kaminari
Yesssssssiirrrrrrr
Sent 6:15 p.m.
Eiji
Letssssss goooooo
Sent 6:16 p.m.
YaoMomo
*Liked Message*
Sent 6:16 p.m.
Jirou
*Liked Message*
Sent 6:16 p.m.
Monoma
We playing spin the bottle? I know everyones dying to kiss me
Sent 6:17 p.m.
Eiji
Everyone would rather die i’m sure
Sent 6:18 p.m.
Icy hot
I believe approximately half of us are in commitied relationships
Sent 6:19 p.m.
Icy hot
Like how I am committed to kissing Hanta and only Hanta
Sent 6:20 p.m.
Sero
I know that's right !! ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ
Sent 6:20 p.m.
Kaminari
Simp
Sent 6:21 p.m.
Nerd
Oh, so Shinsou’s available then?
Sent 6:21 p.m.
Something dark twisted in Katsuki's gut at the message. He knew Izuku had no interest in Shinsou, the shady bastard, but the mere thought of them kssing, even as a joke in a children's game, made him want the purple haired freak to meet the same fate as the fake Deku last night.
Me
We aren't playing that stupid game
Sent 6:21 p.m.
Kaminari
Midoriya, ill risk it all for you
Sent 6:21 p.m.
Kaminari
Wait whattttttt buzzz kill Bakugou
Sent 6:21 p.m.
Shinsou
No one is kissing Denki
Sent 6:22 p.m.
Jirou
If the boys are done being weird and gay can we talk about what we are wearing?
Sent 6:22 p.m.
Uraraka
I’m with Deku and Tsu and they both look totally hot so, that ig
Sent 6:23 p.m.
Katsuki found himself clutching his phone harder and harder. Izuku looked hot, huh? He found himself brushing his thumbs across the screen. He wanted to find him, demand to see what he was wearing, if it was anything like what he wore last night then Katsuki might personally undress him and put him in some paper bag. They were fighting, but that did not mean he would let Izuku move on easily.
Instead, he swiped out of the group chat and moved to his private messages with Izuku.
Me
What are you wearing?
Sent 6:24 p.m.
He didn't care if it sounded horny or desperate or controlling, he wanted to know what and why Izuku was dressing like that.
KiriMina’s Crew !!!
Camie
Pics or It didn’t happen ծ_Ô
Sent 6:24 p.m.
Katsuki waited with anticipation. Would Izuku answer him or would someone beat him to it.
Izuku’s message came in first.
Nerd
Just beach clothes.
Sent 6:24 p.m.
Katsuki felt his fingers pop. Izuku was being sassy with him. He didn't ever use punctions and he always used stupid Kaomojis. He was being a little shit.
KiriMina’s Crew !!
Uraraka
Image.93830
*Tsuyu in a green bikini top and high waisted shorts doing a peace sign*
Image.39733
*Izuku in orange board shorts and a cropped dynamite tshirt with his tongue out*
Sent 6:25 p.m.
Katsuki stared, he unabashedly stared. Izuku was wearing one of Katsuki's least favorite merch lines. It was meant for his female audinece, two gaint explosions that were supposed to fit nicely over a pair of tits, it made him want to gag. Yet here Izuku was wearing it, still tight on his chest, explosions still hanging right on his pecs. Katsuki suddenly understood the appeal of the line. It was too short for him, hanging just barely over his v line. He had glasses perched on his head and rings on his scarred hands. He looked masculine, he looked strong and sturdy.
The shirt wasn't somethign that he was aware Izuku owned, he wasn't sure why he owned it, or why he was wearing it now. He moved back over to the private message.
Me
Thats not fucking beach clothes
Sent 6:26 p.m.
Why tf are you wearing that
Sent 6:26 p.m.
He didn’t have time to reel in his emotions or decide whether or not he should be sending these messages, he was fucking pissed off. He was even more pissed when Izuku answered immediately
Nerd
What? Where else should I wear this shirt?
Sent 6:26 p.m.
Me
Thought you were embarrassed to be with me?
Sent 6:27 p.m.
Now you’re repping me in public?
Sent 6:27 p.m.
It was sent right as he heard a group enter the bar. It was Izuku's group, Uraraka and Asui talking to one another as Izuku looked down at his phone, eyebrows pinched and biting his bottom lip. “Bakugou!” Uraraka was less than subtle as she elbowed Izuku in the ribs. He looked up at the name.
Katsuki wasted no time, grabbing his drink from the bar and heading out. He didn't have time to deal with this, and he especially didn't want to do it in front of other people. “Kacchan!” He heard Izuku call out to him as he pushed open the doors. He wouldn't turn back now, he wouldn't let his body move in the gravitational pull that was Izuku Midoriya. He would force himself forward even if it was killing him hearing the desperation in Izuku’s voice.
✧✴❀✴✧
Everyone was already shitfaced by the time fireworks were rolling around. The sunset was nice, the beach was still warm from the day, the water cool from the rain earlier in the morning, ideally everything was perfect.
Everything seemed perfect at least, and that's all Katsuki actually cared about. Mina and Eijiro were cuddled up on a blanket. Many others had paired off with their significant others while others drank with friends on beach towels and chairs. Katsuki sat on an empty blanket for about 45 seconds until he couldn't take it anymore. He was out in the fresh air and yet still felt the inability to breath it in. His lungs felt like they were full of smoke, even if his quirk wasn't activated. He felt like he was having to manually force the air in and out of his chest. He turned to Mina who was excitedly anticipating the beginning of the light show. “I’m gonna go grab another drink” He whispered to her. “I’ll be back” He stood up, snd sticking to his legs.
He could tell his face wasn't as brave as he was trying to make it. He was overwhelmed and it was casted like his heart on his sleeve. “Are you okay?” Mina asked worriedly.
He felt like shit. He was so far from okay. He was completely and utterly in love with a man who only thought of him as a friend and even worse he had given his virginity away to somethng that was as meaningful as the morning news. All night, no matter how much he could feel Izuku’s eyes on him or hear him call his name he remained looking away. He couldn't, absolutely couldn't, look into those eyes and not give in, act like they were cool and continue chasing him. When the night was over he would talk to him and leave everything on the table, but until then he had to be strong for everyone else's pleasure. “M’fine” He answered confidently even if his voice choked up.
Just as he stood the fireworks began, bursts of blues and purples covered the ocean in front of them, it was familiar, contenting. He walked aimlessly, palms sweating and heart on near explosion. The sound would be distraction enough he assumed. He let his palms let off a few explosions before full sending it and blasting himself onto the rooftop of the resort. He would take a few minutes alone and be fine, he would.
He looked down to his friends from where he was. He couldn't make them out from here but he knew they were having fun. Katsuki rarely ever added to the fun, if anything he usually killed it. Izuku was the one who was well-liked. Izuku was the one that could comfort people and make them feel like they had been friends forever. Izuku was the caring and kind one.
Izuku, Izuku, Izuku.
His breathing was only becoming more shallow. He had to keep it together. He couldn't be weak. He couldn't fail. He had one job and it was to not fall apart until tomorrow morning. He couldn't breath tho, his lungs never failed him, yet now that wouldn't breath in. He clutched his chest as he could hear the ringing of his monitor without being able to stop it. His face was numb as he reached up to touch his scar. It was also wet, was he crying? What was wrong with him? He tried again and again but nothing was coming, no one was here to save him.
He was alone.
And it would stay that way.
He tried to sit down, but found no where to lie. His legs began to give out as the oxygen wouldn't head to his brain. He would let himself fall here before admitting anything was wrong. He reached forward to hopefully catch his fall when he felt something strong grab around his waist. “Kacchan!” He heard the voice call in a distant manner. His ears were ringing as he felt himself be jostled around by what could only be Izuku. “Kacchan, look at me” He heard the man beg.
He tried, although it was blurry. “Trying” He managed to mumble out.
Izuku gently lowered them both to the ground before grabbing Katsuki's face. His hands were warm and large, nearly covering Katsuki's entire head. Thumbs ran gently acrossed Katsuki's cheeks until he realized he was wiping tears away as they fell. He leaned back against the brick wall behind him, the sound of blasting fire works still filling the air. Izuku, still panicked by Katsuki's shallow breaths, climbed over, straddling his thighs as he continued to hold his face.
Katsuki hated it. He wanted the sight of Izuku to make him throw up, send him into a fit of rage. It wasn't doing anything like that though. Instead, he could feel the air come back to his lungs as his hearing became more crisp. He could hear and feel the moment the heart monitor stopped beeping. He took in long breaths that he was scared he would never feel again.
His eyes met the green ones for the first time since last night, they were filled with worry, pupils blown out and searching his face for life. He lazily reached up to grab the wrist holding him as he felt his tears dry. “M’okay” He finally spoke clearly, removing the hands from him, leaving burning fire in their place.
“Kacchan” Izuku didn't move off him voluntarily. Katsuki stood up with all his strength, Izuku having to move with him. “Kacchan!” He said more serious this time.
Katsuki finally turned to him. The image was breathtaking. Izuku stood there, his shirt tight, arms nearly bursting out. The sky behind him changed colors with the light of the explosions. His face was upset but beautiful. When Katsuki really thinks about it, he thinks that maybe he always thought Izuku was beautiful. “What?” He felt his voice crack, tears nearly forcing their way back out.
Izuku’s face fell in relief before taking a step forward. Katsuki couldn't force his body to listen anymore as he stayed in place. Izuku grabbed his wrist, placing a hand over his, engulfing it. “Kacchan, please” he begged. “Please tell me what's wrong, if I did something” His voice was broken. Katsuki could only shake his head no, answers leaving him as Izuku got closer. This wasn't the plan, they could talk later but not now. Now wasn't about them. “Kacchan” He cried out again. “At least sit with me” He tugged Katsuki's arm. “We can stay up here until you feel better, please” His hand trailed further up Katsuki's arm, leaving goosebumps in their place. “I just–I need to be near you” His face twisted.
Katsukis relaxed, letting Izuku pull him to the edge of the roof. They sat like this all the time back home. It still only felt natural after everything they’ve been through. He couldn't even let himself feel embarrassed by the show of weakness, Izuku had seen him dead, it didn't get much weaker than that. Izuku’s grip was deathly tight as if he were scared Katsuki might wake up from his sudden obedience and flee. In total honesty, Katsuki was tired of avoiding the one he needed like oxygen to breath. Even if he couldn't have him in all the ways he wanted, having him here and now, was enough for the moment.
He still feel silent in their wake. He let Izuku’s mumblings of worry and regret fill the silence between them. He didn't have to listen to understand the things he was saying, they were just like that these days.
Hanging his feet off the side of the roof as they sat felt freeing, he always loved the adrenaline rush that came with risking a fall, knowing he could save himself. He loved it even more that, even after Izuku had lost his quirk and lost the ability to save himself with it, he still sat like this with Katsuki, trusting him with his life regardless of emotions between them. Even after he had once told him to jump off one, Izuku still handed trust like it was candy to the one who didn't deserve it.
“I love the smell” Izuku suddenly said interrupting Katsuki's thoughts. He wasn't sure how long they had sat there and he didn't realize until the sound hit his ears that he was staring at Izuku.
His brain finally caught up to their conversation after he forcibly pulled himself from his own deprecating thoughts. “What smell?” It might've been the first string of coherent words he had strung together tonight.
Izuku pointed ahead of them towards the beads of light and fire in the sky. They were green now, a different shade than Izuku was. It still lit him up in a light that Katsuki couldn't seem to describe. “The fireworks” He said without looking at Katsuki. He hardly ever stopped himself from looking at the other, which meant whatever he was saying was hard. They weren't always good at understanding what the other was saying under their own concealment of truth. “The-The smoke to be more specific” He said, finally looking back up to Katsuki.
“Yeah?” Was the only response he could come up with. He couldn't tell him how he thinks of him after every lightning storm. How the air smells like the short year where green bolts of light surrounded his every move.
Izuku nodded, eyes somewhere deep in Katsuki’s. “Yeah, I always have” He turned back to watch them, color bursting in his green eyes. “That's why I started smoking” he admitted quietly, avoiding eye contact again.
This took Katsuki off guard, the last thing he had expected to be the result of Izuku nasty habit. “Excuse me?” He felt jarred.
Izuku laughed a little, even if it was forced. “I know” He laughed again. “It's pathetic” He huffed at hismelf. “I just–” he sighed. “I used to smell that fire everyday of my life” He spoke honestly. “Even when it was used against me I loved the smell” Katsuki felt his heart tighten at the thought of their younger relationship. “It smelt like home to me” He turned to look at Katsuki again. “When we graduated and–” He stuttered. “And you all moved on without me, I didn't have you–I-I mean I didn't have that anymore” His voice grew stronger. “It was the closest thing to home”
The vulnerability in his words struck Katsuki harder than he wanted it too. “You should still quit that shit” He tried to shove off the emotion. “You can come stalk me anytime, nerd” He tried to laugh too. “You have been doing it our whole life” He shoved him lightly.
“Our life” Izuku repeated. “That's how it felt, huh” He shoved back.
Katsuki pointedly ignored it. Our life. It meant something so different to Katsuki. It meant future not past. It meant now not then. “I like them too” he said instead. He could feel Izuku’s face fall, he didn't need to look.
He watched him conceal. “I bet!” He replied. “You’ve always loved explosions” He tried to smile. “It is beautiful” He agreed, nodding his head to convince himself too.
“Izu–”
“You know you're just as beautiful” Izuku continued, hardly bothered by Katsuki speaking first. “When I get to watch you fight, or fight with you” He smiled wider. “It's beautiful to watch your quirk” He bit his lip as he the next boom went off in front of them.
Katsuki felt himself hit the limit for how much he could take from Izuku without losing everything. “Would you stop saying shit like that?” He felt himself snap.
Izuku’s face fell again, constantly in a swirl of admiration and confusion this trip. “What?” He asked quietly. “Is this about your text–because I don't understand that either–”
“How can you just–” Katsuki cut him off before feeling his own words get lost in his mouth. “How can you just say things to me, like I'm beautiful or amazing, when–when you don't want me” He heard his voice crack into an angry jolt.
Izuku went to reach out but Katsuki was quick to pull away, as if the arm were a bear trap. He stood up, already walking away before Izuku could call out to him. “Kacchan!” His feet hit the floor quickly coming up behind him. “Kacchan, wait!” He begged his voice doing the same thing Katsuki’s had. “Katsuki” He hurled out for what had to have been the very first time.
That was the only thing that could stop him in his tracks. He swiveled around, moving his face directly into Izuku’s. “Just why” He was angry as he felt spit fly from his mouth. Izuku was less than concerned as he didn't move away. “Just tell me why and I'll move on” he spoke deeply, shoving a finger into Izuku chest.
Izuku just looked at him, not moving as the blasts and booms covered the roof in colors around them. “Why, what?” He asked again, having been completely in the dark.
Katsuki dropped his finger and took a step back. “Why did last night not mean the same thing to you as it did me?” He asked quietly.
Izuku took a step back too. “I-I don't know” He started tearing up, eyes wet with regret. “I didn't know Kacchan, I just knew that I needed you–”
“That’s bullshit!” Katsuki yelled back. “Thats a bunch of fucking bullshit!” He repeated, his emotions he had kept so close to his chest finally cascading out like blood from a wound.
“I’m sorry!” Izuku yelled back. “I always cross the line with you!” He slammed his hand into his own chest. “I always-always find a way to push you away” He was fully crying now. “You’re special to me and I fucked it all-”
“Then why?” Katsuki’s arms were throwing around wildly. “If i’m so important to you” His voice was wet. “Then why did last night mean nothing to you?” He practically begged.
Izuku’s face twisted from a pathetic cry to an angry roar. “Nothing?” His voice was shrill and furious. “When has anything between me and you meant nothing Kacchan?” He grabbed both of Katsuki’s wrists, not giving him the opportunity to flee this time.
“You tell me!” He was actually laughing like a manical villain. “I woke up to you sneaking out of the room like I was one of your pathetic excuse of a hook ups!” He knew he probably looked crazy, he felt crazy. But he needed it all out on the floor now.
Izuku didn't stand down. “I left because I heard someone at the door and didn’t know if you wanted to make this a whole thing” He pointed between them.
“This?” Katsuki repeated given the same gesture back. “Name the last time this” He grabbed Izuku like a wild man. “Wasn’t inseparable and best fucking friends and hero partners and goddamn fucking us” He seethed.
Izuku’s eye were blown wide. Katsuki still held his shoulders. “I don't know Kacchan!” He said back. “I get nervous that one day i’m gonna fuck everything up and lose you all over again” His voice was raw with honesty.
Katsuki felt like he was pullingn his own teeth out. “Lose me?” He asked in fury. “Izuku, how the fuck could you lose me when you’re the one who left?” He felt like they were going in circle now.
Izuku sighed loudly. “I left to protect you and then within moments you were flirting with that random dude at breakfast!” His voice tightened again.
Katsuki scoffed. “Oh like you weren't all over your little best friend at the front desk” He quipped right back.
Izuku laughed, finally losing his own composure. “Right” He held up his hands. “Sorry I was too busy trying to get you a tent for the bridal shower you were throwing, so that you didn’t have a fucking panic attack when the party got ruined.” He took a few steps back as he turned to walk away.
Katsuki reached out and grabbed Izuku wrist, forcibly bringing them back together. “I already thanked you for that” He spat.
Izuku didn't try to pull away. “Wow, Kacchan” He said like a child. “A thank you” He gave another sarcastic laugh. “It’s almost like that a normal response and actually the bare minimum” He tried to pull away again but Katsuki didn't let him.
“What the fuck is your problem?” He shook his body. “Do you get off on watching me pathetically chase you over and over again while you only let me get so close?” His brows pinched as his vision began to blur from tears.
“Kacchan it has never been you chasing me” Izuku shook his head. “I’ve always been the one watching you and trying to stay close to you” He retorted.
A silence fell between them. They were never going to agree. He finally let go of the wrists he held captive. “Izuku” He finally said in a calm voice. He could sense Izukus demeanor change. “We aren't getting anywhere so I'm gonna lay it all on the table” He felt a headache coming on from all the yelling. “I dedicated my life to earning your trust and respect again” He sighed. “I worked on myself, tried to repair our friendship, and I know, trust me I do, how much I didn't deserve that” He could feel the tears falling on his cheek as he spoke. “I tried to be good for you and I tried to be the person you always thought that I was” His hands were shaking as he combed them through his hair.
Izuku went to reach out again. “Kacchan–”
“Just let me finish” Katsuki stepped back. “I felt useless all those years you weren't out on the field” He admitted. “I didn't feel the same passion for Hero work I always had because you weren't there to do it with me” He clutched his chest. “My whole life, in some fucked up way, has been completely surronded by you” He pointed. “You were the gravity keeping me here without me realizing you weren't just pulling me down” His voice cracked again. “Whatever this was I chose to ignore, because what we have now was too important to me” He shook his head. “But then everything started changing and I couldn’t not want you” He shook.
“You-You want me?” Izuku asked smally.
“Izuku I died for you” Katsuki asnwered back quickly. “I gave up years worth of salaries and long nights just so I could feel a morsel of what I did with you in first year” He cried. “I don’t think I have gone a single day since knowing you without feeling a place in my heart where you fit” He squeezed is chest again. This was so unlike him. The vulnerability and raw emotion.
“Kacchan, I-I want–”
“And then you left” Katsuki was fully crying now. “You took my fucking virginity and then left me alone, like we promised we would never do!” He sucked in a shaky breath.
Izuku’s entire body flinched. “Kacchan, I-I didn't mean it that way at all” He moved closer trying desperately to close to physical and mental gap between them.
Katsuki quickly slapped his arm away. “It doesn't matter what you meant Izuku it’s what you did” He emphasized.
When he turned back he could hardly make out the freckles on Izuku's face as they were covered by a layer of tears.
✧ Izuku ✧
Izuku felt frozen, paralyzed even.
He hadn't realized what he had done until it had been spelled out for him. He had done all those things. He had been so wrapped up in his own insecure mind that he had completely abandoned and confused Kacchan this morning. And now the tears that were falling from the beautiful man's face were because of him. How long had he been ignorant to the love Kacchan felt for him.
How much time had he wasted trying to keep their relationship afloat instead of jumping into the deep end. After the war Izuku had always just assumed Katsuki held a piece of resentment towards him for letting him die. And then, Izuku lost his quirk, the very thing Katsuki had hated him for in the first place. And then, Kacchan was the one who had to build him back up as a hero when he was broken. Izuku was too embarrassed to even work with him those first few months, completely out of shape and practice.
Izuku had always just assumed he needed Kacchan more than the other needed him, he assumed the place he felt Kacchan wasn't the same place Kacchan felt him in. It had made him to be a complete ass. Because now everything was coming together. Kacchan didn't just push him, he moved him forward. He didn't want izuku next to him, he needed Izuku next to him. He didn't die because of Izuku he died for him.
When Kacchan had offered him the pitiful position as a sidekick at his agency, Izuku had thought it was just another gracious handout that katsuki had been giving him in retribution to their rocky relationship.
With the words left unspoken now out in the air, the words Katsuki had held tightly to his chest and never let be exposed now swarming around them, it was like Izuku understood everything now.
“Did you ask me to be your hero partner?” He found himself asking, completely derailing the conversation.
To Izuku’s surprise Kacchan didn't yell at him for it or even grow more frustrated at the fact that Izuku hadn't answered the last accusation thrown at him. “Yeah” He said like he was losing his breath.
Izuku felt a piece of his heart shatter underneath him. “Kacchan” His voice became wobbly. “I didn't know” He said for the millionth time tonight. “I don't think I knew a lot of things until now” He couldn't help but grin. “I left because I was insecure” He admitted. “It wasn't right and of course I regret it” he moved a step closer again. “I think this entire time I have been looking at our relationship as something I was scared I would lose instead of as something I wanted to grow stronger” Izuku grabbed his arm together, his own legs giving up right underneath him. “Please, Kacchan let me fix this, let me fix us”
Kacchan just looked at him, wrecked and broken. Izuku hadn't ever seen him quite like this, like he didn't have a reason to win. He looked like he was okay with giving up. Izuku thought he deserved to die for ever making the other feel that way. “Izuku” His voice wobbled in a way that made Izuku burst with even more tears. He didn't pull his hand away but he kept it stiff and scared. “I don't know if I can stand being that hurt again” He bit his lower lip to prevent it from quivering again. “You’re still the most important person to me” He admitted. “The title is pretty hard to take from someone like you” He gave a dry chuckle. “I just don't know if I can let us–I can't let us ruin anything” He looked away from Izuku gently pulling his arm away. “I always knew you were reckless” He said quietly. “I should've known you wouldn't be careful with my heart” He looked back, two tears falling in unison.
Izuku felt like he was crumbling, like he may die right here just from the words. The sentences were harder punches than anything he had experienced out in the field. It was more painful than any wound from a villain. “Can I say one last thing?” He begged, still on his knees. Kacchan just nodded, moving to kneel next to Izuku. His legs must be tired too. “I don't let myself want things anymore, Kacchan” He said outloud for the first thing. It was something, a few measly words, that he had never even admitted to himself. “When I was younger, all I did was want things” His voice shook at the same pace as his hands. Kacchan carefully reached out, grabbing the scarred hands with his soft ones. Izuku squeezed it like it was the last time he would feel the makers of the power he admired so deeply, it might be. “And of all the things I wanted, two of them over powered any other desire ever” Kacchan drew in small breaths as he drew circles on Izukus hand. “I wanted nothing more than to be a hero and to be your best friend” He looked at him. “I would have been okay if those were the only things I ever got in life” He laughed quietly. “And then, when I was only a child, they were both stripped from me” He squeezed the others hand harder.
“Izu–”
“No, its fine” Izuku cut him off before he could apologize like he had so many times before. “I am not asking for pity, just for you to listen” He explained. When Kacchan nodded reluctantly, he continued. “It didn't make me stop wanting though, that was the painful part” He looked up at the fireworks that had cascaded to blue at somepoint. “And then, I got it, sort of” He smiled. “That was the fucked up part” He ran a hand across his cold arms. “I wanted it so hard that somehow, somehow, I did become a hero and I got you back in my life too” He looked at Kacchan through wet eyes. “It was the best year of my life, Kacchan” The admittance broke him. He sobbed like a child as he continued to speak. “I had everything I had ever wanted” He watched as Kacchan messed with his hearing aids, the exploding noises likely drowning out Izuku’s words. Without making a big deal of it, Izuku scooted closer, his mouth practically speaking into the shell of Katsuki's ear. “And then in one day, one horrible day, I lost it all” His voice was quieter now that they were so close. “I transferred my quirk, I became a murderer, and you” He leaned his head on Kacchan's shoulder, ignoring how tense it made him. “You died” He could hardly say the words of the memory he avoided like the plague.
“But I came back, Izuku” Kacchan forced Izuku to sit back up and look at him. “And losing your quirk didn't make you not a hero” He shook his head.
Izuku looked at him for a long time without speaking, the colors on his face, the tears in his eyes, the way the red became different colors depending what was in the sky. It was gorgeous. “I know, I know” He nodded. “But it showed me, just like when I was five, that wanting something, meant nothing” He looked away overwhelmed. “It didn't mean a single damn thing if you were born into this life with the purpose of losing” He sighed. The words hung in the air around them. It was words unspoken, something he thought he would never admit. “I gained this mentality that I wasn't supposed to keep things” He finally let go of Kacchan's hand, Kacchan chasing him only briefly before pulling away. “I accepted that I would just have to watch you guys, be happy for what you all got” He smiled. “And then I got it all again, because of the suit I could go back out there” He threw his hands out to the sky. “I was a hero again, you were alive” He shook his head. “I should've been happy” He huffed. “But I wasn't, because I didn't want it anymore” He heard Kacchan gasp. “I wouldn't let myself want you or hero work anymore, because I was used to losing everything. I felt like I was tiptoeing around actually getting back out there, and even worse I was avoiding you” He could feel Kacchan looking closely at him. “I feared that if I chased you too much, if I saved too many people, than whatever was out there that takes it away from me everytime, would come” His shoulders shook. “Maybe a part of me knew that you were asking to be my hero partner, and maybe a part of me knew that last night meant the same thing for you, but a bigger part of me was screaming that I shouldn't get too close”
“Izuku, none of thats true” Kacchan’s voice was low.
“I know” Izuku admitted. “I do” He sighed. “But when I brought up, ‘this time’, when we were having sex, my mind flipped” He shook. “I realized I had gotten too close to the one things I swore I wouldn't. I thought I had ruined everything again.” His own vulnerability was causing his heart to race. “I had gotten too close to my dream, that if things went as usual, they would be ripped away at any moment”
“I promised to never leave your side,” Kacchan explained. “I'm not a liar, Izuku” He argued back.
“I know you're not. But I know you better than anyone in the world Kacchan, and I know emotions aren't always easy for you” He nodded along to his own words. “So, I ran in fear for myself and my karma and in fear for you and your ability to push me away” His lips were dry as he licked them.
Kacchan sighed. “That doesn't make you less of an asshole, you know that right?” He scoffed, although his words were more gentle than earlier.
“I know” He whispered. “I messed up” He tried to fight the tears that were coming back. “I thought you didn't want me to stay, because I told myself that” He let go of the breath he had been holding. “Thats no ones fault but mine” He went to stand.
Kacchan grabbed his shoulder before he could. “Listen, Izuku, we don't have to act like I have been some kind of saint the last ten years either, okay?” He finally caved. “I know I'm not always the easiest person to be close to” His grip was strong on Izuku's arm. “I–I am grateful for the ones of you guys that still try” He sighed. “I can't lose you either” He admitted shakily.
“So let's not” Izuku smiled. “Let’s not lose each other, again”
“Okay” Kacchan agreed. “We can stay friends-”
“I love you–” Izuku said at the same time.
They both took in a breath of air at the cross roads. Izuku saw Kacchan lean in, Izuku had messed up again. He wouldn't take it back, he did love him. He saw Kacchan look towards his lips, as if maybe he changed his mind that quickly. Friends. He needed that. He wanted more. “A-As friends” He corrected. “You know I've always loved you” He tried to laugh. He leaned backwards scared he wouldn't be able to control himself. “Friends” He said with a awkward break in his voice. He held out his hand for Kacchan to shake.
Kacchan shook it, confused but grip still strong. “Friends” He mumbled back unsurely. He felt like if he didn't leave, if he didn't get where other people could see them he may do something that ruined the friendship yet again. He needed time to think, to move on and accept. Kacchan beat him too it. “Why don’t we take some time” He said although it was the last thing he had ever wanted, Izuku agreed. “Some space to get it out of our system” He nodded, trying to convince himself. Izuku couldn't hide the way his face fell before he could correct it quickly.
“Yeah, yeah sure” He tried to sound sure of himself. They both looked back at the lights behind them. “We should probably get back to everyone before they think something bad happened” He tried to smile.
“Yeah” Kacchan agreed. “Lets do it” He said in some fake voice that Izuku hated. He was back to being cold, likely upset that Izuku had kept pushing for them to teeter the line.
Katsuki blasted off without warning as Izuku saw him land back on the beach with ease, a few turned around with worried looks in their faces. Izuku took the same door he came through the first time, a painful reminder that he no longer could fly off as Kacchan had. His footsteps felt metallic through the sand as he took his place on a beach towel next to Ochako. She didn't have to look at him to know where he had come from or what he was feeling. She flung an arm around him and allowed him to rest his weight on hers.
He would be okay, this is all he had wanted, anything more would have just been a blessing. Izuku didn't get blessings anymore, he had run out long ago. His sobs were quiet as they watched. When he pulled the cigarette out of his pocket, he didn't hear anything from Kacchan. He breathed in the smoke mixed with the one of Kacchan’s and the one of the fireworks. He sucked it deep in his lungs, hopping it would bury itself there.
When everyone packed up, drunkenly walking shoulder to shoulder and shoving each other like they were still children, Izuku watched as Katsuki slung his arm around Kaminari. It didn't hurt, it didn't even prick jealousy. It made him happy.
It made Izuku happy that at least Kacchan was the type of person who could do things as casual as that now, even if it wasn't with him.
✵ Katsuki ✵
The couch hurt his back. It was still the least painful thing he was feeling this morning. He had been the one to request space, he had been the one to decide to be friends.
Izuku had been the one to say I love you.
But it wasn't that black and white anymore. Izuku wasn't thinking of their relationship in the way that Katsuki liked. He didn't like that after all this time he still saw this as some fleeting thing, even if it felt that way. Katsuki hadn't bothered putting his hearing aids in as he made his way down for one last breakfast. It was too early for any of the extras to be down there and Izuku would probably be skipping breakfast all together after last night.
He wanted to be near him but he couldn't. The things Izuku had said, the push and pull they've always had, they way fate seemed to be against them, they were painful but they weren't wrong. If they had any chance of making it out of this life in one piece, then they had to give each other room to breath. They couldn't control one another like they had been trying so hard and desperately to do. Katsuki had to do his best to let him go and if they found their way back to each other they would.
He hated to pit in stomach he felt the entire morning as the group gathered and headed to the airport. He had to focus on the monstrosity of his friends behavior that he usually tried to ignore, just so he would catch himself staring at the green hair form across the airport.
He hated as he watched Izuku fidget moments before boarding, Katsuki now knowing this was because of his fear of flying. A fear he had developed because of Katsuki. He couldn't be the one to comfort him, he couldn't be that close without crossing the line.
He should have been thrilled that Izuku loved him back, he should have rejoiced, it was the one thing he had craved this entire trip. Except then Izuku let it all out, his darkest fears and barriers. Not failure, but depravity. He wasn't scared to fail, he was scared failure would chase everything he worked for down with it. He was scared of things being ruined.
And if Katsuki had taken anything from the conversation it was that he was the epitome of that fear.
Katsuki was a ruiner.
He took things and exploded them.
He took friendships and threw them away.
He fought villains and died.
If Izuku was meant to lose things, Katsuki was meant to take them away.
So putting his own feelings aside, the deep rooted remorse of knowing he would find a way to fuck it up, he sparred Izuku from his disasters. If they dated, took that step forward, Katsuki knows himself, he would yell and fight and not cherish and care like he should. Everyone around him would agree, even Izuku, that was the real problem.
“Hey” He heard someone say next to him. It was Uraraka, standing and watching Izuku like Katsuki had somehow been doing. Somehow during his own thoughts, his eyes had drifted.
He cleared his throat that hadnt been used up until this point. “Hi” He finally answered, pulling out his phone to check it to play off that obvious staring.
Uraraka sighed. “What happened last night?” She finally asked with a deep huff of breath following.
Katsuki felt like a deer in headlights as he tensed at the words. “I don't know what you're talking about” He finally answered unconvincingly.
Uraraka finally turned towards him, anger written all over her face. “I know you two slept together, everyone does” she added, causing Katsuki to wince. “And then you both disappear last night, he spends the rest of the night crying his eyes out, and now what? You’re just gonna ignore him?” Her voice was stern and angry.
The group was starting to board as the two fiery souls kept talking. “You don't know what you're talking about” He scoffed trying to push past her.
She grabbed his arm, he stopped in his steps forgetting how strong she was these days. “You’re right” She hissed. “I don't" She admitted. “But what I do know is that you guys take advantage of each other far too casually” He was shocked by her neutrality considering she was one of Izuku's closest friends, not his.
He finally pulled back. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean round cheeks?” His voice was annoyed and straight.
They both started moving as the flight attendants stared at them annoyed. “It means” She hissed again. “If Himiko were hear right now, I wouldn't spend a second ignoring her” Katsuki felt like he had been hit in the chest with bricks.
Uraraka hardly ever talked about the blonde girl anymore. “Uraraka” He stopped again seconds before the entrance.
“What” She asked annoyed and slightly tearful at the mention of her lover that never was.
Katsuki wanted to console her, apologize that they were idiots. Tell her he wished he could've saved Toga too. But Katsuki's words weren't ever comforting, his actions were never soft, he was never weak. “Will you try to sit next to Izuku if you can?” He asked instead.
Uraraka turned towards him surprised. “What?” She asked genuinely.
Katsuki walked forward, finally entering the plane. “He doesn't like flying” Was all he sad as he pushed forward to find his seat.
Uraraka didn't say anything, but he did watch her ask the dude next to Izuku if they could switch. When she sat down, he could see Izuku’s brows pinched. He turned from the aisle seat, looking for Katsuki, that much was obvious.
Katsuki let them make eye contact for a fraction of a second before looking away.
I'll still care for you,
he wanted to say it with his eyes.
I can't turn into your greatest fear,
is what rang in his head instead.
Before they knew it they were back in Tokyo.
✧✴❀✴✧
One day had passed, one measly day and Katsuki felt like he was losing his mind. He had the day off by coincidence and he spent most off it sweeping and then resweeping his floor, or folding his laundry before unfolding and refolding it, much more precisely this time. He couldn't help but check his phone constantly, knowing he didn't want Izuku to reach out but also flinching at the sound in hopes that nerd would pop up over his screen.
He and Todoroki had went and picked up their cats from class prez’s last night and he hadn't even realized how much he had missed the furry bastard until she was back in his arms. He took a sigh of relief when he realized he wouldn't be alone tonight after all, he would have her.
“You don't seem as tense as you were before the trip” Todoroki commented as they walked back to their apartment complex together.
Weirdly it was true. Moments leading up to the trip he was stressed and scared and if he had to admit it lonely. Now, he had found some sense of peace knowing that he and Izuku were if anything, constant. He loved Izuku too, he didn't feel like he had to tell the other that. As a friend first, a place in his heart held their friendship above others. If the space gave him enough time to face that then he wouldn't need to go any further. He felt like the realization had given him some clarity that had been weighing him down. “M’doing fine bastard” He replied with as usual.
Todoroki, also as usual, didn't have much to say to that. It's how their conversations went. “Well, are we still on for our weekly cooking tips?” He asked as they approached the point of splitting, a cat in each of their arms.
Katsuki just nodded before keying the door and pushing his way in. And now a day later, he almost wished Todoroki would just come over today and learn his shitty cooking skills. Katsuki hadn't realzied how quiet his apartment really was until he spent four days with one of the most loud and obnoxious crews imaginable.
He tried turning on the tv but the only thing he could find interest in were old re-runs of All Might shows, and he never watched those without Izuku. He tried reading, but realized the only book she had were comics and well…
So he decided to cook but when the only ingredients in the fridge were to make Katsudon he found himself slamming the fridge door instead. He sighed to himself as he resorted to scrolling mindlessly on his phone instead. Videos and pictures from the vacation were shooting up across various platforms from the many people that attend.
Asui had done a ‘Photo dump’, whatever the hell that was filled with pictures of food she ate and sights she saw, lots of fresh fish and water photos. Mina and Eijiro had posted a joint post of all the professional pictures they had taken together with the caption ‘5 more days <3’. He gave that one a like. Momo had posted a lot of scenery, Jirou had posted a couple of selfies with a few of them, including a very unwilling one she had taken with Katsuki, and finally Sero had posted a few pictures of him and Todoroki eating as well as a few solo shots of just Todoroki looking out at things like the ocean or the sky. He gave that one a like too.
His phone hovered in his hand as it itched to check for more. Surely, Izuku had posted, he was constantly posting the photos he took with his shitty little camera and throughout the week he had kept that thing on him the entire time. Katsuki could already image the sunsets and water shots that he had captured and would probably caption with something ridiculous like ‘#blessed’.
He moved his thumb carefully over the search button. OFA_Hero_Deku, the username was stupid and so so so Izuku. All the way up until the end of their first year his name on socials had been AllMightsNumber1fan0715, but after growing a fanbase of his own and becoming quite popular in the fandom space he had to change it. Unfortunately for him, a lot of fanpgaes had already started, leaving him the ridiculous looking handle. Most of them just had their names as their usernames, but of course Izuku was proud, proud of the name Deku.
He clicked on it quickly, just to check. Before he could there was a knock at the door. The phone flew out of his like he had just been caught doing something incredibly wrong. To be fair, it did kind of feel that way. He sat up, throwing the Deku shirt he had been wearing like a mourning widow back on and heading to the front door confused. He didn't bother picking up his phone as Tofu already began pawing at it like a toy.
There was another knock a little louder this time. It was probably Todoroki, already on his way back to pester Katsuki about something ridiculous like his broken lamp or his burnt toast. “Kacchan” He heard the familiar name from the other side of the door. He paused in his tracks at the sound of his nickname. It was Izuku no doubt, but he sounded upset, sad. “Kacchan, please” He cried again.
Katsuki’s brain and body both unfroze as he now hurried to pull the door open. There Izuku was crying with his phone open on the contact ‘Mom(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) ‹𝟹’ still on the line. Katsuki instantly panicked, was something wrong with Auntie had she gotten hurt. “Izuku?” He asked with anxiety as he grabbed Izuku’s wrist. “Is something wrong, is it Auntie” His voice was high pitched and quick.
Izuku shook his head no, allowing Katsuki to take a sigh of relief. “No, Kacchan, its–” He started crying again.
Katsuki could hardly watch this anymore as he pulled the phone from Izuku's strong hands and held the phone up to his own ear. “Auntie?” He asked, trying to hide his evident worry. “What’s wrong?” At the same time he felt Izuku fall into his chest, sobbing.
“Katsuki, is that you?” Her own voice was shaky and wet, likely having been crying just like her son.
“Ye-Yes” He confirmed now anxious with what was about to be said.
“Oh, son” She cried. “I-It’s All Might, sweetie” She started crying again.
Be damned with space- and be damned with time. Katsuki didn't need to hear anymore as he threw his shoes on and grabbed his keys. With Izuku under his arm he lead them, as calmly as he could to his porsche and started driving him to the hospital where All Might had been induced for surgery, a few minutes ago.
With Izuku's hand in one hand and the wheel in the other he became the strength they both needed. Because, he had promised to always do just that.
Katsuki would always be there for Izuku, even if it wasn't something he often said out loud it was like a quiet vow between them.
Notes:
love you all:)
If you wanna leave a kudo or a comment it realllllllly gives me motivation hahahahah
tiktok: MaladaptivePisces
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