Chapter Text
I am once again here, after so many tries I started to show up in this space after the end of a failed loop. Perhaps the universe finally decided to give me a place all to myself, somewhere where I can take a break if need be, not that I’ve ever taken up the offer. I find myself already in motion, it seems this fabricated form that I puppet here can move on its own to some degree when I’m off in another timeline.
Trusting whatever its previous destination was, I continue the pace without much thought, looking around I’m met with the sight of a twisting but otherwise nondescript forest as a backdrop this time around. This place's appearance and rules seem to change every time I wind up back here. For what I, after a while of thinking, assume is because there is most likely a near infinite amount of metaphors out there to rationalize and think of time as a concept.
Assuming it hasn’t been long enough for it to have repeated the tree rings scenario, I struggle to come up with an idea as to what I’m dealing with this time. Cutting through the exhaustion I vaguely hear the sound of moving water on the wind.
Right! Running water, like a time stream, duh…I’m honestly surprised I haven’t run into this one before. Pushing through the stiffness of this overworked aetherial mannequin of a body, I quicken my pace through the forest in an attempt to track down a clearing, and hopefully the stream or river this sound originates from.
As I flounder my way through these woods like an uncoordinated fawn, I begin to think on the fact that I might finally be beginning to push against the limit of whatever granted me these abilities. Each time I show up here it gets harder and harder to move, feels more and more like I’m pushing against a thicker and thicker layer of film to re-enter reality and try again. My vision this time around is extremely hazy and double exposed. I struggle to even find my way forward, trusting only the feeling in the back of my aching head to lead me on.
This has to be your last one Caulfield, don’t think you can handle much more after this, and I don’t think there’s much else you can try at this point. Just go all in and sit with the cards you’ve been dealt. “Just make a life with whatever you can find there…it’s all we have left to do…”
Lost in my thoughts I do not pick up on the increasing volume of the running water till I am right up on the edge of a small cliff. Through my fucked up vision I determine that this must be the river I have been hearing, though the running water only goes so far as I notice a large dark blob in the middle of the stream a little further up the way.
“It’s…clogged? How- what could have built a dam here?”
From experience I can only determine it means this is already one messed up timeline, But it’s seemingly the only one I got, as there are no other splotches of blue for miles all around. “Dog...looks like I already have some work to do on this side…”
I start to look for a safe way down, but before I can even decide on a path I am rudely pulled from my thoughts as the ground buckles and falls out from under me. I roll down the length of the cliff with the complete opposite of any grace, before I painfully slam into the slick ground of the side of the river with only a few inches of water covering its rocky surface.
I lie there in the shallow water for what seems like hours, not for a lack of trying mind you. This body is just so battered, bruised, and stiff it takes a painful amount of effort to get back up even from a small fall like that.
Before the frustration can push tears out of my eyes I feel the limbs of this temporary form crack and unlock. With great effort I stand back up and take stock of the situation in front of me.
I walk up to this wall of twigs and brambles in front of me, each step accented by the creaking of these overworked limbs. Raising my right hand up the dam, I take a deep breath before I make contact. I’m hit with a violent burst of over exposed images streaming through my very existence, scenes that tear through my consciousness. I’m bombarded and tortured by visions of moments I’ve seen over and over again, with nothing but inconsequential and useless differences. The tears finally burst out of me joined by a screech that would rival a banshee’s as I ripped my hand away from the wall of forest detritus.
I glare back at it with bloodshot eyes, a trickle of red slides over my lips. Something so common to me now it’s more natural to ignore it than to wipe it away, as I walk back towards the dam. Each step adds to my righteous indignation as I pick up the pace before slamming into it with my shoulder. My vision goes white as it's slammed in return with an incomprehensible amount of happenings. Not letting this deter me I grab at a few of the twigs and branches with my hands and begin to rip them from their home.
Tears still pour from my eyes, teeth grinding against each other, as I bear the brunt of these glances of the timeline bursting into my brain with each tear I make into the surface. Rusted and muddy tires tearing their way out of a junkyard as a piece of paper falls to the ground, a blonde haired girl shattering her phone against the wall as tears fall from her face to the carpet below, a monstrous man dropping his pen as billowing cape of flannel soars out the classroom door behind its owner. I don’t hear it at this point, but I know I’m screaming as I begin slamming into the dam with both arms. With each blow a piece or two falls from the wall, and glowing hairline cracks form and grow larger across the arms of my faux body. I just can’t bring myself to care as I continue my assault against not just this dam, but every fucking death, injustice, or inconvenience I’ve dealt with during these years of trying to fix everything, of just trying to find some god damn happiness that won’t slip through my fingers the second im comfortable, that I feel at all content.
I’m dragged from my meltdown by the sudden, deep and guttural sound oozing from the other side of the dam as it creeks under my battered hands. I’m barely given the chance to utter a quick “Oh shit-” before the damn explodes and water tears into me, ripping me from my place on the ground as it drags me, chain and collar, backwards at an alarming speed. I feel time sending itself backwards along with me, the events of the week from hell being washed away from the page, as I struggle to keep my head above water. I wrestle to right myself whilst the time stream roars free, like a wild animal freed from its cage, no longer constricted. It expands its great and powerful form as I can only help to come along with it and hope to not be crushed under the pressure. I see everything put back in its place to that fateful Monday. Without even a chance to even begin to think through a game plan for this go at it, I’m hit with the brief feeling of impact and the sound of what is possibly my skull cracking before everything goes black.
The silence of drowning in oppressive black nothingness is shattered by the high pitched screaming of an alarm. A rhythmic heartbeat in parallel now accompanies it followed by the sound of blood rushing. The black suddenly fades into a dark fleshy red before my eyes shoot open to a blinding white. It fades to a faint golden orange as I turn my head to the side to see my phone on the bedside table, continuing its incessant whining.
I make an uncoordinated grab for it, successfully snagging it after the third try. I unlock it quickly and silence the alarm, then groggily blink through the blurriness of the morning to see that it is predictably the Monday of that week again. Unpredictably I’ve come to, at the beginning of said day instead of in the middle of class, as the phantom pain of that other body fades I let my arm drop from in front of me to my side of the bed. Without my phone in front of me I can only look up at my ceiling in mild confusion.
“Well…shit, what just happened?”
Notes:
A short little prologue to a extended series of Amberfield works I've had rattling around my head for a little while now. I don't know I just love this ship so much and want to have my own contribution to this little rare pair fandom! :) but of course it's me so its got to be plot filled and long lol. I will say it is a little intimidating finally posting in this fandom after reading so much for so long, but I love these characters so much and I gotta try at least once! Hope you like this intro and will enjoy the journey alongside me. :) The outline for the next chapter is already done so the chapter proper should be out soon!
Chapter 2: Pushing Through Hazel Vision
Summary:
Trying to work through a plan to fix things in this final run, is not so easy when the timeline you've stumbled into seems to be completely out of your control. A fact exemplified by the existence of a girl that should be dead. As Max attempts to reorient herself in this typhoon of mystery, she is dragged along on an adventure, that could be the catalyst she needs to change everything for the better.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I simply let myself roll off the edge of the bed onto the carpeted floor of my room, giving me the chance to just lie there for a minute to let the solid floor ground me in this moment. With a groan I lift myself with only a little trouble, and make my way towards the mirror in my room to determine what’s the damage.
I’ve noticed that while I’m not truly, physically aging some changes do bleed through each loop. Halfway through all my attempts I’ve had to start keeping up with my hair after someone noticed it was suddenly much longer than it should’ve been.
Victoria of course just mocked me for trying to look cool by wearing extensions. After that I’ve decided to play it safe, I’d rather not give her an excuse to humiliate me nor draw any unneeded attention. Looking in the mirror I can tell already it's a little longer than usual so I decide to tie it into a half knot in an attempt to hide the length, since I can’t be bothered to cut it right now.
With my hair out of my face it’s incredibly apparent how bad the bags under my eyes are. I simply sigh as I grab my modest makeup kit and apply some concealer to my eyes real quick. Satisfied I don’t look like a complete zombie, I head to my closet to get dressed.
Since this loop is already up to a bizarre start, I decide, why not? And start this week's wardrobe out of order. I pull out my death moth shirt, paired with the only pair of torn jeans I have, and one of my other hoodies, washed in a dark gray-blue hue. Looking suitably emo, I grab my meds, washing each one down with a bottle of stale water
sorry Lisa.
Afterwards I quickly swipe my bag from my desk chair, take a deep breath and leave my room, Prepared to once again live through the dullest day of hell.
The door right across from mine opens at the same time, and I lock eyes with one Victoria Chase, I simply raise my brow as she scowls at me. Neither of us make the first move until she eventually turns, fuming through her nose as she stalks off towards the showers.
Shaking my head with a sigh I walk down the hall waving a good morning to a beaming Kate Marsh as she returns the greeting. Her good mood is infectious as always and actually causes a small smile to stretch on my face in return as I continue my way out of the dorms.
Fresh air bursts against my face once again, and I can't help but feel like I could melt. With spending so much time in and out of That Place, I take the small things as they come. My feet carry me forward as I keep my eyes on the tree line.
Looking back down I see the skater boys to my left, and decide to make a quick detour. I’ve hung around them with Chloe a few times in a couple different loops. They’re actually pretty good guys when you get to know them, plus they’re probably the safest access to weed, cause honestly, fuck Frank.
“Hey Justin, Hey Trevor, getting to skatin’ pretty early today aren’t you?”
Justin nods to me with a lazy grin, as Trevor gives me a casual salute from his board behind him.
“Maxaroni Supreme! Wassup lil’ dudette?” Justin drawls out, as Trevor rolls back over to the two of them, a welcoming smile on his face. “You know it max, no better way to wake up before class!” I give Trevor a tired grin as I fist bump to two of them, much to their pleasant surprise.
“Other than coffee you mean?” I say with a light chuckle.
“Goes without saying, though I do not know how you drink that stuff black.”
I shove my hands in my pockets, only able to keep up this grin for so much longer. “Guess it’s just my refined pallet.” I say with a shrug.
They both laugh as Justin speaks up. “Now that’s some real hipster shit, they should make a crown for you already. Definitely better than some prom queen bs.”
“Exactly, who needs to rule the school when I have my coffee, I’ll see you guys later!” I exclaim as I back away from them.
“Totally! You’re actually pretty chill Max, hit us up if you ever wanna hang!” Trevor yells with a big slow wave. I turn to walk to the fountain in the middle of the courtyard, as the grin falls from my face, immediately back to my focussed and neutral default.
Not really feeling like dealing with Jefferson forcing his attention on me, I elect to take the selfie here, before heading inside to grab my things from my locker.
I don’t know why I bothered, I should know by now that no amount of preparation actually gets me what I want. I think to myself in frustration the second after Jeffershit calls on me anyways. It seems from a quick glance to my left that this is certainly one situation where Victoria and I are on the same page.
I reluctantly make eye contact with him, hoping my cold blue eyes at least send a small shiver up his spine as I give him the full correct answer, one that has been seared into my brain by this point. I turn to meet Vic’s seething pout with a neutral expression and a shrug, before I rest my head on my desk to sleep through the rest of this bullshit class.
I abruptly come to as I stumble face first into a soaked wooden floor. I curse at the pain, pulling myself to my knees as I feel my nose bleed, and not from my powers for once. I fully get to my feet and continue running forward till I'm outside, only to be assailed by a heavy downpour of rain. Well fuck, this isn’t a great sign for the outcome of my last shot at this…dog I swear if I see that damn twister on the horizon, I’m gonna strangle that fucking teacher the moment I wake back up. I turn around to see the very barn that houses said shit heel of a teacher’s awful snuff film hobby. Something in my bones tells me I should keep backing up, and I am not one to ignore a hunch these days. As I do the dark sound of thunder comes to a peak as a deep crimson lightning bolt comes crashing down right into the centre of the structure as if heaved down by a very angry goddess. The moment slows to a crawl for me as the bolt breaks through the roof soaring downwards like an angry, and violent viper launching itself at its prey. My brain only has a brief moment to sense a profound feeling of panic through my extensive migraine, before it strikes the location of the bunker and time rubber bands back to its regular speed as the entire barn explodes in a raging ball of righteous, screaming, fire and everything goes black before I can even hit the ground.
The screeching of the fireball quickly fades into the ringing of the school bell as I’m violently pulled back to my present reality. I blearily look around the classroom in a small panic as the feeling of cold rain and searing heat fades from my body. It always sucks having to get my bearings after those damn visions.
Well, clearly something is very different here, the big question being; what?
I immediately get up from my desk, rubbing the grogginess away from my eyes and hoping the tingling hum in my right hand would just stop already. Heading over I tap on Kate’s shoulder pulling her from her music and sketch book, as she looks up at me I try my best at giving her the classic Max Caulfield shy smile.
“Hey Kate, how are you doing this morning?” Kate returns the gesture with a much more genuine smile, her greenish eyes matching the evergreen trees bathing in warm light just outside.
“Hi max, today’s actually been pretty good, thanks for asking. I had a good night's rest last night, and had a lovely chat with Dana this morning! Victoria has even paid me little to no mind all day, so I can’t complain. She says as she fiddles with the cross on her neck.
My hands instantly find themselves shoved into my pockets as I mull over her response. “Oh, well that’s nice to hear Kate, uh…well if anything else interesting comes up we could always chat about it, over another tea date sometime maybe?”
“That sounds lovely Max, I’ll let you know when I have some free time.”
“Awesome, good to hear, I’ll uh…see you around Kate!”
Well that flag is accounted for…I guess, if not a bit different. Was she not bullied as badly at the party, if at all in this timeline? If so that’s quite the change…I wonder what is at the core of it…
After talking to Kate is done I make an immediate path to the door knowing what’s coming next. “I see you Max Caulfield, Don’t even think about leaving here unti-”
I’m already pushing through the door as I turn my head just enough to give the man my most hollow side eye. “You don’t gotta grind your “cool teacher” act into the ground, Mark. No need to worry, you’ll get it soon.” The words come out of me dry and emotionless, and with the air of letting go of a breath you’ve been holding onto for too long. The door swings shut behind me as I begin to walk down the hall.
But before I can pull out my phone and ear buds, the door to the classroom slams back open. I don’t even have the chance to stop my stride and turn my head before I feel a hand strongly grasp at my wrist.
“What in the hell was that Caulfield?” I turn my head to meet her somewhat frenzied gaze.
“Victoria…good to see you too.”
“Zip it Maxine-” Even after all this time I still can’t help but flinch at her use of that name. I know why I chose that for my legal name…but still it’s just way too frilly for my taste these days…
“I know you’ve always been so damn nonchalant and reserved about school and your social standing, but what just happened in there was absolutely fucking ridiculous! You’re acting like you’ve just stopped caring at all, and that is such complete bullshit.”
I can’t stop myself from openly gaping at her, almost at a loss for words. I shake my head clear and sigh. “You know Vic? I’ve always wanted to ask…why are you so damn fixated on me? I know you have friends and a whole lot going on…so like…is this rivalry thing you think we have going on really that meaningful to you?”
Now it's her turn to be stricken quiet as she stares wide eyed at me. I look down to the hand on my wrist and she follows my gaze before ripping her hand away. Her face goes red as her brows furrow in an odd shape, finding something apparently quite interesting on the brick wall.
“Whatever…Throw away your chance to be something, it’s not like I actually care. Just watch how you act…you really don’t have the social credit to spare, someone like you acting like that will get you stuffed 6 feet under around here, a fact of which I’m sure you’re well aware of.”
She lets all that spill out of her rapidly before absconding with a quickened pace down the hall disappearing into the gathering crowd.
wowser…that might be the earliest I’ve ever been able to have a semi-real conversation with her…
Thinking over this exchange with her is suddenly overshadowed as memories of all the other times I’ve tried to connect with her, and all the times that ended in her death, bleed into my mind. The migraine returns in full force as the sound of off tune notes and static fill my mind, my vision going hazy and double exposed again as I attempt to stumble through the hallway to the bathroom.
Just gotta follow the script for now, for the sake of this timeline and my poor screaming skull. Once I’m there I can pop some pain killers and hopefully put together some sort of actual gameplan. If any sort of idea will work in this backwards ass timeline that is.
Before I know it I’m hunched over the sink of the women's restroom. I gulp down some pain meds and stare at my face in the mirror. I will say one positive to all the looping I've done is that I have basically fast tracked my transition for free. Unless I totally fumble my cards it’s basically impossible for me to be clocked now, not that it really matters anymore I’ve got so much other bullshit going on to really worry about my femininity anymore. My eyebags seem to have returned in full force, I guess I must’ve sweated up a storm while dreaming.
I knew I should have put my makeup kit in my bag this morning… I reached up to pull at the bags under my eyes and my hoodie sleeve slightly droops down to reveal faint scars all down my forearm resembling cracks. The memory of the splinters that had formed on my arms in the other place come to mind, as I scoff to myself in the mirror.
“What?! Are you cereal…this of all things bled over too? Man…these are gonna be hard to explain…shit” I pull my sleeve back down, cause well what else can I do? It’s by this point that I notice that I haven’t seen either hide or tail of both that blue butterfly nor Nathan Presscott.
“Ok…this timeline is…bizarre. How am I even supposed to come up with, or keep a plan for fixing things when the moment that kickstarts it all…won’t happen?” I rub at my temples as I wait another few minutes before finally deciding it’s simply not happening.
After actually using the bathroom, I leave in a huff, beelining straight for the front door. This has been too much already, and I’m not in the mood for any more of school today. My hand just barely grasps around the push bar when my ears are tickled by the sound of a voice I’ve never heard before. “Max, never Maxine, Caulfield, I would have never painted you as the type to skip.”
I slowly twist my body around and my blood runs cold as I am immediately struck by the Impossible sight of the Rachel Amber in front of me, alive, a whole 6 months after she should be dead.
H-how…Rachel is…alive? Neither Chloe or Nathan showed up in the bathroom. Did Chloe never feel the need to go to that bar because Rachel isn’t missing…has Nathan even drugged anyone yet? Kate seemed like she was in a good mood, was she able to have…a normal time at that party? Something must have been up with that dam in The Other Place. It felt like it was filled to the brim with possibility, but what made it? How did it get to be like that? What in the fuck is going on?
I look up from my stupor to catch a glimpse of fluttering red flannel as Rachel stops in front of me, her perfume resting over the both of us. She starts to push the other door open beside me, sunlight painting half her face in beautiful gold. My dissociated thinking is abruptly cut off by a burst of something reminiscent of jasmine and citrus as it seeps into me.
The nostalgic taste belied its nature as a product less than fake.
“You know I’ve found from experience that skipping is way better with a partner in crime.”
She offers with a raised eyebrow and a sly, but enchanting grin. I on the other hand am forcing my brain to reboot, my mask sliding up. She should be meeting the expectedly shy, but personable Max Caulfield instead of the freak having an existential meltdown right now.
“Oh, uh…hey Rachel, fancy meeting you here.”
Her grin grows just a bit wider. “At school?”
“Well…uh yeah, but I mean hopefully not for much longer…”
The grin finally opens into a wide smile as she lets out a short giggle. “That’s the spirit! Now…”
She pushes the door open fully, and with a flourish directs her arm towards the outside world. “After you, my fresh faced delinquent.”
With a reluctant chuckle I push forward, crossing the barrier, and am met with quiet warmth as the light bathes my skin. I close my eyes and breath, taking in the moment of peace before I’m jostled from behind as Rachel rests her hands on my shoulders guiding me further along.
She then circles around to my front sliding her hands to my forearms. “Count yourself lucky Caulfield, we’re gonna turn this chance into an adventure. Be thankful I’m your first.” She accents that last part with a wink.
“I-uh…w-what?”
“Your first school skipping buddy, obviously. We're gonna make a hella good time of it!”
“Right, obviously…” I force a sceptical expression, to distract from the heat reaching my ears.
She flashes me another wide smile, her eyes scrunching up a little, as her left hand falls to grasp mine. “I’m glad you agree, now come on, we’re burning precious daylight Max!”
She quickly tugs me along past the water fountain before I can get a word in. Only stopped in her mission by the calling of the somewhat nassaly voice of just the guy Max was waiting for earlier.
“Rachel! There you are! I…was hoping that we could talk real quick…actually.”
She turns around reluctantly, and I follow her lead. Nathan is a few steps out from the outer wall of the school where Victoria is still leaning with a cigarette between her fingers. Her attention seems entirely on Rachel instead of me for once, her eyes falling down to our hands, before darting quickly back up to meet Rachel’s with an expression I can’t seem to read from this distance. A ghost of a smirk appears on the not dead girl for a moment before it falls as she turns her attention back towards Nathan.
“Whatever it is you have to say Nate, I’m sure it’s not important enough that you can’t wait till later…I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to speak with you after what happened last night…”
I look at her in surprise before looking back towards Nathan to see his expression plummet.
“That wasn’t-” He looks down at his feet, like even he knows what he’s trying to say is bullshit. “-What it looked like…please I wouldn’t have called out for you in public like this if it wasn’t important Rachel…”
Her grip tightens around mine, as I look back to just barely catch her eye twitch as her jaw clenches. “Nate I don’t want your excuses, just…I need some distance for a while before I can even handle “talking” with you right now.”
He looks down solemnly before walking back to the wall without another word.
“C’mon max, let’s get away from those walking red flags while we still have the chance. They’re no fun anyways, really.”
She once again starts to pull me along without looking back once. I, however, crane my neck to watch as Nathan leans back against the wall, his head falling into his hands. Victoria brings a comforting hand to his back as she looks back out at us, her expression still frustratingly unreadable.
If you had asked me just a day ago, I don’t even think I could explain how exactly I ended up in an open train car riding northward with a girl I’ve only ever known as “Chloe’s dead ex girlfriend.”
And yet an unnerving sense of déjà vu claws at the back of my mind, originating from some distant splinter of reality. I force myself back into this moment as the echo of Chloe's laughter fades away. I let the haze in my vision clear, Rachel is sitting across from me, her soft golden hair swaying in the wind.
She smiles softly as she catches me staring. “So…”
“So?” I say with a raised eyebrow.
“C’moooon Max! I gotta know! What got someone like you so ready to almost walk out of school by yourself like that without a word?”
I lean over resting my elbows on my knees as I meet her gaze. “Someone like me, huh?”
She mirrors me from her side of the cart, eyebrow rising at the same time as the corner of her mouth. “You know what I mean…you’re dodging the question Caulfield.”
I remember myself in an instant, and lean back making myself small. I bring my hand to my elbow like I used to and offer a small sigh as a faux entry way into my “heart”.
“I don’t know what to tell you Rachel, I…uh just got overwhelmed with today. I’m sure you’ve heard by now how I act when I get overstimulated, so…I uh just decided I needed to get out…I guess.”
She squints her hazel eyes at me ever so slightly as her face gets serious.
“Shit, well… I’m sorry I just invited myself then…”
“Oh…no Rachel its fin-”
“-But part of that excuse is total bullshit isn’t it?”
My eyebrows shoot up as I stare at her, picking at my cuticles as I fall back into my mind. “I uh…what?”
Damnit Max! you sure did get yourself stuck with the human equivalent of a conversational hard mode, even with your powers you’re so totally screwed here.
“I have no doubt you did get overwhelmed, but something’s not reading right about that second half. I don’t think you were hella freaking over just some of your normal shit.”
I run my hand through my hair, brushing my bangs off my forehead, and let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re way too good at this sort of thing you know…like uh frustratingly so.”
“So I’ve been told, Confessions of an avid people watcher.” She winks at me, holding a hand to her heart, raising the other to her side. I can’t help but chuckle, she’s nothing if not charming I’ll give her that.
“Now that is something I can relate to, comes with the autism.” I continue my airy laugh as I let my bangs fall back onto my head. “To answer your unending curiosity, let's just say a lot of my long term plans just went to shit today, because of stuff outside of my control.”
She lets out her own dry laugh as she slides to sit on the edge of the entrance, feet dangling in the open air. “That is definitely something I can relate to…come, sit.” She looks over to me with a soft genuine smile, the first one I’ve seen from her all day.
I sit next to Rachel, never taking my eyes off her. She looks at me with that small smile, and bumps my shoulder with a giggle.
“Alright, so humor me for a minute, I was thinking…we play a game.”
“Oh boy…” I say with an eyeroll.
“Hush now, You’re an intriguing woman Max Caulfield, color me curious!”
I bring up one of my knees to rest my chin on as I grin over at her. “Ok well…flattery will get you everywhere, what’s the game Rachel Amber?”
“Just a simple game of Truth or Dare.”
“hmmm…”
“That way we will only divulge our deepest, darkest secrets if we choose to, otherwise we’ll just do dumb shit for dares the whole ride. it’s a win win.”
“Well you already have me captured here on this train so…sure why the hell not.”
I can always just rewind if her questions get to probing, and choose the other option anyways…
“Fantastic! This will be fun, trust me, and an added bonus; I’ll finally get to see what all the Caulfield fuss is about.” She says with a smirk and glint in her eye that makes even me, the girl with time powers a bit nervous. The blonde Shifts her seating position to face me head on with only one of her legs still dangling off the train.
“I don’t know what fuss I could possibly be making, I don’t know if you’ve…uh heard Rachel? but I'm kind of a total wallflower nobody…in no way a threat.” I just barely catch a glimpse of something before it hides itself away behind her hazel eyes.
“I wouldn’t be so sure Max, don’t underestimate yourself. I truly believe you could have that whole school eating from the palm of your hand if you wanted.”
Funny, you’re not to first person to tell me something like that Rachel…
“What, like you? Nah, not for me, sounds too stressful. My anxiety wouldn’t allow it, I’m not built for popularity” I say with a grin, playing with the draw string of my hoodie.
She looks at me with a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “Yeah…you don’t have to tell me twice, it’s definitely not it’s all cracked up to be…”
“Well…uh I don’t know about you Rachel but this sounds like the sort of stuff that should…um be coming out during a game of truth or dare, don’t you think?” I look over with a playful grin.
She blinks up at me, before a small amount of pink dusts her cheeks. “oh …uhhh right totally, um… So you first Max, truth or dare?
I jokingly play up being lost in thought, peeking at her through one open eye before, abruptly and dramatically picking “dare.”
It pulls out that light giggle from her, as she focuses in on me, slipping into her serious mode. “Alright Caulfield, I dare you to…send a flirty text, to someone in your contact list, of my choosing.”
“...Are you cereal, Rachel?”
“Hmm, I’m more of a waffles, eggs and bacon girl actually…now hand over that phone please!”
I laugh in disbelief as I pull out my cell. “Alright well your good taste won you phone privileges, here, do your worst Amber.” I toss her the phone, crossing my arms in anticipation.
She spends a minute or two hyperfocussed on my phone screen, but before I can finish asking her what’s the hold up she hands me the phone in one quick fluid motion. I look down to see the text log between me and Kate.
“You must be joking…Kate? Like, local christian girl and my very platonic friend Kate Marsh?”
you say that max, but there were a few timelines where she was brave enough to make a move…both with Victoria and you…
“I’m sure she’ll understand it’s just good fun, just friendly flattery!”
I raise my eyebrow at her unbelievably innocent expression. “Friendly flattery for free?”
She lets out a quick laugh from her chest that surprises me. “Exacty! But don’t distract me with alliteration, You. Kate. Text. Now.”
I roll my eyes as I get to work writing the most dubiously flirty text I can to Kate under Rachel's rapt attention. “Is this to be peer reviewed?”
“Mmm, nah I trust you, just let me see you hit send.” I scoot a little close as I hold the phone between us and hit send. I back out of our chat and I’m about to lock my phone before I notice something at the bottom of my screen. I swipe up to scroll down, before I look up to the girl sitting in front of me with a knowing grin on her face.
“D-did you really put your contact information in my phone?” I say with a blank expression on my face.
“Of course I did! It was slim pickings Max, So for the future of truth or dare I went ahead and added another cute girl to the list.” Her grin turns cat like as she rests her chin on her hand.
“Rachel Amber…If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were asking me to flirt with you. Though I guess you did call me intriguing…”
Her head slips from her hand before she quickly rights herself, a slight bit of red on her ears. “I…w-well, ha! See this is what i mean though! Who knew you’d be able to keep up with the repartee.”
I shrug. “I spent my childhood surrounded by snarky people, hard not to pick up a cutting wit from that.”
“Your turn by the way.”
“huh?”
“Truth or dare Rachel?”
She quickly pushes a strand of hair back behind her ear before sitting up straight. “oh…um right, Truth.”
Perfect! Here’s my chance to at least figure out a little about what’s been going on here.
“Do you have a girlfriend?”
Rachel chokes her way though a sudden and quick coughing fit before clearing her throat and looking back at me in surprise. “Shit Max, you really don’t play around do you?”
“What…too blunt?”
“Well…I mean I appreciate the genuine forwardness, honestly, but…it’s just…it’s a bit of a sore and complicated subject.”
I can’t help but rub at the back of my neck feeling a little guilty. I know she hurt Chloe…but seeing her in front of me, real and in the flesh looking so small and actually… ashamed, I can’t really be that mad at her…
I reach out my hand to lightly grasp her arm placatingly “Hey we don’t have to get into it…you can switch to dare…”
“No it’s…it’s ok. This is the conceit of the game…”
She gently grabs my hand and brings it down near her lap, staring at the lines in my palm.
“Let’s just say I did a bunch of stupid shit that probably hurt her. I was dumb and thought I could still make it ok, but…I don’t know, she hasn’t spoken a word to me for a long time. I haven't even seen her face to face since…” I see the debate warring behind those hazel eyes before she shakes her head suddenly as she bashfully looks back up to me. “I’m pretty sure we’re not even dating at this point…I just wish she would have actually broken things off verbally so I’m not just…stuck, but I guess I made my own grave in that regard.”
She traces the lines, and the hum of my power follows obediently behind, like the water of a stream winding through a path being dug out by a god. I’m so focussed on the feeling, I don’t catch what she says the first time.
“Max?”
“H-huh?”
“Your turn…”
“Oh…u-u-um, right…uhhh truth.”
Rachel gives me a small smile, probably grateful to not be the only one laying her feelings out bare. She takes a moment to think before she turns my hand back around and pats it a few times. “W-why…uh, why…did you come back to Arcadia Bay?”
Air escapes through pursed lips as I lean back, my vision fading and flipping through multiple scenes; watching a teary eyed girl walk out on me, trapped in a heavy rainstorm, taped to a chair, looking at a girl on the edge, looking up at a large brick building for the first time, and the growing distance between me and a graveyard.
“I’ve…made…so many mistakes. I guess…I can’t help but try through hell or high water to fix them, trying my best to atone. And, well, everything comes back to…fucking Arcadia Bay doesn’t it?.”
Rachel’s gaze goes distant as she looks out at the passing nature in front of us. “Yeah, it really can be one big ugly black whole…snuffing out any chance of beautiful starlight…You’re one multifaceted woman Max Caulfied…I think we can really do something great together. Don’t be surprised If I wind up dragging you into my grand plans”
I put my other hand on top of hers, and look her in the eyes. “You’ve got plenty of layers yourself Amber. They say the world’s a stage, and maybe the best thing for the both of us is…to go completely off script. I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine…Partners in Crime?” I say as I lift my hand in a proffered fist bump.
She looks at me and in that moment I can tell she’s starting to pierce through my shell, glimpsing the broken ageless thing hiding away in the dark depths. I feel like I should be more scared of being seen like this, but I need someone in my corner, and until I figure out what is going on with Chloe, she is the perfect alternative.
“You know what Max, yeah I can hella vibe with what we got going on…Partners in Crime it is.” she caps it off by completing the fist bump. As the contact is made and the contract sealed the humming from my hand grows before I can see the bright blue waves of possibility extend from us, washing through the thin unperceived layer of reality.
As if sensing the reverberations the bright blue butterfly finally makes its appearance fluttering gracefully before landing on Rachel's hand. She carefully and reverently lifts it closer to her face inraptured by its faint glow. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a butterfly so…profoundly beautiful.” Her smile grows, as she begins to speak once more. “Look on beauty, And you shall see 'tis purchased by the weight, Which therein works a miracle in nature, Making them lightest that wear most of it.”
Entranced by the image in front of me as well as the beautiful words that accompany it, I subtly reach into my bag and pull out my camera. My shaky hands bring it up to my eye, as I take a grounding couple of breaths to center myself, before taking the picture.
The flash brings the attention of both the girl and the butterfly to me. I understand the look from the ephemeral insect for the wordless message it is, before it takes its leave. She smiles that knowing smile of hers as her hand returns to her lap. “I’m honored to finally be a part of a Caulfield original, I’m sure that one will turn out to be wonderful.”
I shake it out of habit before looking at it contemplatively, before looking back to her, holding it out in front of me. “I think…it should go to you, call it the official seal on our partnership.”
She holds it to her chest with a small smile. “Thanks Max…I’ll take good care of it.” She slips it into a small pocket on the inside of her bag. Looking out towards the forest her eyes open in recognition. “Oh! Looks like we’re finally here, come on Maxnanimous this is our stop!” Rachel then without warning immediately hops out of the train rolling on the ground.
It takes me only a moment to work through the shock before shrugging. I’ve certainly done more dangerous shit… I make sure my bag is wrapped in my arms before leaping from the cart myself, laughing breathlessly, as my tumbling on the ground slows to an eventual stop.
Rachel laughs a full laugh as she gets up, fixing her hair and rubbing the dirt of her clothes. “Your camera make it out alright there Max?”
I quickly check the inside of my bag just to be sure before looking up to giving a confidant thumbs up. “Yup, all good here, came out in much better shape than my poor bones that’s for sure.”
She giggles as she walks up to me patting my shoulder. “I’m sure they’re doing fine, now! Follow me, the real fun awaits us up ahead!”
I chuckle to myself, this girl, as I follow her lead down the dirt path.
Notes:
Ok we have the real test on if I can personally write a dynamic I'm incredibly fond of, while also dropping as many mysteries and plot hooks that I can! I decided to leave the last little back half of this chapter for the next, this felt like a natural stopping point and leaves just a little more of their adventure for chapter 3! which I think will help balance out that chapter emotionally.
Chapter 3: Shallow Graves, Wash the Pain Away
Summary:
Max and Rachel finish out their day with an extensive photo session, and plenty of heartfelt conversation. Their bond deepens and solidifies, as they bashfully say their goodbyes. The next day is defined by friendly conversation, discussion of strategy, and a revelation that threatens the break the beaten down time traveler.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
I think it’s honestly been years since I’ve even stepped foot in this park, the last memory that I can recall being the time Chloe broke her arm trying to save our kite from a tree. Rachel ahead of me is walking undaunted with an energy I can’t join in on, stuck in my own head as I am.
The sounds of the both of us crying echoes throughout my thoughts, Chloe because, well she broke her arm, and me because I felt like I should’ve been the one to get hurt not her, it was my kite after all.
“Max, the step!”
“Huh-” the sight of a wide eyed Rachel gets even more blurry as everything bleeds into colors till I can only see black, and only feel a large amount of pain in my head.
The black fades away to green, and then I’m suddenly staring into those hazel eyes, as I’m helped up by my newly minted partner in crime.
“Jesus, Max are you alright? You fell like, right on your face.”
“Yup, all good just dealing with now the third headache of the day.”
“Girl you need to watch where you’re walking. These steps are rotted through so deep I’m sure you could look down and say hi to Hades, also third? I guess you really did need to get out of that building.
“Proximity to Victoria Chase will do that to you.” She lets my hand go, as I go to brush myself off pulling an errant twig from my hair.
“Ugh, you don’t have to tell me twice, honestly I’m surprised she’s bothering with you. She really only ever goes after what she can’t have and the people that have it.
I chuckle as I make pace to stand next to her as we continue forward. “Maybe I’m just that much a hot commodity.”
She side eyes me grinning like a feline, quickening her pace to get ahead of me as she turns to walk backwards. “In more avenues than you’re even aware of, I’m sure.”
“I- uhhh…” I stop abruptly as heat pierces the back of my neck. As if, like an animal waiting for its moment to strike she’s quick to turn an immediately start sprinting ahead calling back; “Last one to the top has to ask Ms. Chase out on a date!”
“WHAT!? Rachel hey wait! Rachel-”
“Wha- how the hell Caulfield!?”
I’m standing, leaning against a view finder blowing smoke from the imaginary gun of my right hand. “Short cut obviously, you really thought you were gonna beat a born and raised Rae? Come on now.”
“Rae huh? Getting cute now I see, never took you for a sore winner Maxie.”
“Getting? I’ve always been cute, won all the town cutie contests and everything.”
She bends down to catch her breath before looking up to stick her tongue out at me. “Definitely a sore winner, alright let's get to the main event here, before you get an even bigger head.”
“I’m all ears Rae, what do you got for me?” She walks up to lightly flick me on the nose as she rests her arm on the same view finder I was leaning on.
“I guess Rae is sticking is it? Anyways I was thinking what better thing to do after escaping that stuffy, oppressive photography class, and christening our partnership than to come out here and have some actual fun with your camera.”
I’m finding she’s really good at getting me to chuckle and I don’t know how much I trust it.
“Alright, that sounds like an actual good time I’m game.”
“That’s right you are, I’ve got your number Caulfield.”
“Yes, you quite literally do, now how exactly are we planning to have fun with my camera?” She taps the view finder as she looks at me with a glint in her eyes. “By making a game of it of course!”
“Oh, well of course.”
She slides over to me resting an arm on my shoulder “See, you just get me Maxie, I’m so glad I decided to listen to my demons and drag you out here.” I lift her arm off me as I chuckle. “Yeah, I guess I have your demons to thank too, I always wanted to take photos around this place when I was a kid, there was so much that caught my eye back then...”
She gives me a meaningful look for just a moment, before gently guiding my eyes to the viewfinder, and tapping my back. “That’s what I like to hear my little photobug. Now I gotta take care of some lady biz real quick, while I’m gone I want you to find four photo ops with the viewfinder. As a gift for your valiant effort you’ll be rewarded with an exclusive photo session with the up and coming model; Rachel Dawn Amber.”
“Sounds good chief, good luck with your…uh lady biz” I wave her away as I turn my attention to the scenery through the VF. I can’t lie this was a really good idea…but if I’m not too careful Rachel will be the dragging me around all throughout the week instead of me-her, and as clear as it is that she is some sort of focal point to the stability of this timeline I need to make sure I’m the one on top of things. I’m the one with the powers after all.
Rachel pops back up after 10 minutes or so, I’ve been done with the view finder for a little while now electing to sit on a nearby bench. I believe because of this, not being where she expected me and all, I caught a glimpse of something. The way the skin around her eyes wrinkle, the sheen in said eyes, and the slight furrow in her browline. I swear for just a moment I’ve captured…shame in her expression, as subtle as it is.
It vanishes the instant she catches sight of me, and she jogs over to take a seat next to me on the bench.
“Hey, do you know what happened to the plaque that used to be on this thing?”
“Huh? Ummm-” She stares at me for a moment before shrugging.” I think I heard once that someone used it to bust open the other view finder but…I don’t know.”
She pats my thigh before hopping up from the bench. “But that’s not important, what is, important is; what do you got for me? At what locations shall I be posing for the illustrious Max Caulfield. She accents her latter sentence with various vogueing, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Alright, alright come on you dork, I’ll lead the way this time.” I swiftly circle around her then grab her hand leading her back down the path.
“Alright Ms. Amber, we’ve reached our first stop!” I twirl to face her with my arms spread wide.
“The…bridge?” She rests her hand on her hip, as she smiles at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Absolutely! Look,” I grab her arm and lead her down into a crouching position next to me. “Here from this spot if we angle it correctly we’ll catch the sun in between the bars. Soooo, if say, my model were to lay down on the crossbeam here she’ll be surrounded by a lovely back light.”
“Okay, I can see it, I trust your vision Maxie.” She stands up and walks over to the other side of the bridge with her hands behind her back. “Show me where you need me.”
I grin up at her as I stand up pulling out my camera. “Alright, I think…the beam right there is perfect, just lie down and pull up your leg a little, bending the knee. Alright, good now raise your right arm and rest it against your forehead like this.” I gently guide her arm until it’s just right in the frame.
Her eyes meet mine as I’m leaning over her, my arms fall to my side as she looks away. “So…we’re good to go then?”
“Yup, let me just back up annnd.” I crouch down and slide a half circle until the sun rays hit her just right, I take a single steadying breath, and press down on the shutter button.
I fight the urge to shake it as I make my way back to her. “I think this came out alright actually, here you can have first look.”
She slides to sit on the edge of the beam as I hand the polaroid over. She gently takes it into her hand and looks over it carefully for a few minutes, my hands shake as I put away my camera. I watch her cautiously as I feel genuine worry for the first time in forever as I scratch at my bicep from under my hoodie.
Rachel finally looks up at me in awe. “Max this is…amazing, like this… what, took you a couple minutes to put together? but…I can see this being in galleries.”
I stare at her speechless as I awkwardly adjust my bag strap. “O-oh…uh you think? I don’t know, I’m working with a umm great…subject.”
She gives me that small soft smile of hers as she hops off the beam. “Ok flatterer, but seriously you’re way too humble, don’t worry though we’ll fix that. You’ll be singing your very own praises in no time!” She links arms with mine when she comes back to my side of the bridge. I look at our arms for a moment then to her.
“I’m not…humble, just…realistic, you’re really easy to shoot for. You clearly know what you’re doing, and the confidence makes taking the picture that more…magical.
She looks away sighing through a smile. “Most people…just say I’m a natural, which is like, a nice sentiment but…I do put in a lot of effort.”
I push myself closer, bumping our shoulders together. “Of course you do, all art takes effort, yeah you can be more naturally inclined to something but that doesn’t mean you didn’t work to hone that skill right?”
“Yeah…you’re right, that’s a good way to put it, you’re one wise little cookie Max Caulfield.”
I smirk to myself as we continue forward. “Yeah, well I guess you could say I’m a woman beyond my years
We walk up to the last spot, near the center of the park, a tree that looks dead, but is still here, standing. It placed its roots years ago and not even a raging inferno could make it back down. I pull out my camera and turn around.
“Alright Rach- Hey? Are you alright? You look kinda pale…” Her gaze flickers to me for just a moment, and I swear I catch a glimpse of that shame, before her eyes go back to the tree.
“Yeah…just been awhile since I’ve had to think about the wildfire…This tree just kind of makes me feel…sad, like it’s such a poor battered and bruised thing, hurt completely out of its control… and its damage is so…open to the world.”
I slowly back up, keeping my eyes on her and the tree. “I don’t know, I think the image speaks to its resilience…Yeah it was hurt badly, and it certainly didn’t ask to be this way but…It’s here, unchanged on the outside, but probably growing a new life internally. I’m sure plenty of people campaigned for its removal as some part of a beautification project, like the rest of the park, and yet here it is. It speaks to me from a perspective of hope.” Working through my thoughts I’m now positioned behind her and I see it, the time of day just close enough to the golden hour to paint the view a beautiful orange as if bringing us back to a sliver of time before. The light painted the edge of the faces of both the tree and the girl. Each showing an expression of deep melancholy, yet also endurance, and as soon as the word “hope” leaves my lips I punctuate it with the click of a button.
Rachel’s gaze is drawn to the flash as she comes back to me with a look of surprise. “Max?”
“I got it.” I say with a small smile as I walk up to her in front of the tree. “I’m definitely pinning the others to the wall of my room but this one…this one belongs to you.”
She takes it in her grasp with more gentleness and care than even the butterfly, never taking her eyes off the image seared into the film. “Is…this how you see me? I look…so…raw and real, like truly real. I-I don’t know what to say…”
I cradle her hands in mine and gently guide them to her chest. “It isn’t just how I see you Rae, it's who you really are. You are real, of course you are, and if other people aren’t seeing that then that is their own damn problem, not yours. You… don’t have to say anything…without you I wouldn’t have had the chance to have captured such beautiful moments today.”
“Heh, yeah…you’re welcome, Max…”
“Thanks, Rachel…”
I then notice I’ve still been grasping her hands, and pull them away quickly. Now not knowing what to do with them I just stuff my hands into my jacket pockets, heat rising onto my cheeks.
“Sorry…ummm anyways we should…probably get going, the sun will start to set soon and we’ll want to get back before then since we don’t have a… car” I cringe through my whole blabbering only looking back at her with a single eye.
She giggles from behind a closed fist covering the little bit of pink dusting her own cheeks, she puts away the second photo of her new collection before walking up and grabbing my hand pulling me along once again. “Very true, let’s get going Maxie. Y’know I even brought just the thing for our little trip back.”
She pulls out a little baggie with what I can only assume is weed housed inside. “Oh dog…yes thank you! My anxiety is like totally through the roof all of a sudden I could use a chill pill…or well blunt? In this case?” This gets her to let out another giggle that quickly evolves into a full uncontrollable laughter that even reaches me as we start to walk out of the park.
“I’m not kidding , he tried to do a roll as he landed like in the legend of zelda but totally messed it up, totally twisting his angle. It was a whole mess, we couldn’t go to the hospital because they were both drunk off their asses. Being the only sober one I had to make a makeshift splint before we helped him hobble back to a bus stop, after that Ferns swore off alcohol but I honestly don’t know if I trust he kept to that heheh.”
Beside me Rachel is struggling through a series of giggles, before she wipes a tear from her eye. “Oh my god max, those two sound like a hella fun time!”
“They really are…I should probably text them sometime soon…check in and everything…”
“Hmmm, that would be nice of you.” She looks over at me from the other side of the tracks and holds out her hand expectantly. “Now Max… I believe now is the time for the pass part of “puff puff pass.”
“Ah, right sorry…didn’t mean to be a total leaf hog, here you go.”
I hand over the dwindled blunt, she takes it with a swift but careful swipe, and brings it to her lips for a long drag. A smoke ring forms from her lips as she looks down contemplatively, it finally being a proper golden hour now, the golden rays of sun bleed through the smoke and her thoughtful profile.
I pull out my camera as subtly as I can and lower myself slightly so that the backdrop of the tree line lines up with the blunt nestled in between her slender fingers, Making her a large a central figure of the shot as if we’re watching a troubled goddess ponder on the issues of her creations.
She looks at me after the photo is taken with a look of reluctant amusement. “You really are a total shutter bug aren’t you? Can’t really complain…it is starting to feel like we were destined to be artist and muse…”
“Last one for today I promise heh, but I think I agree…something definitely drew us together, unlikely pair that we are.” I say as I hop up on the track proper holding out my hands for balance. She looks at me with that small smile again, as she puts out the blunt on the bottom of her shoe and flicks it off onto the gravel. She then mirrors me before taking my hand in the middle.
“I wouldn’t say it’s that unlikely…I think we have a lot more in common than most people including us would think…” Her smile grows just a bit wider before she looks up to the sky as the first glimmers of starlight begin to peek out from the fading hues of sunset.
”You’re not that different, she had-has this eye for images and art. Plus she’s a smart ass like you, we would be hella best friends forever.”
“-like as if it were actually written in the stars themselves you know?...Max?”
The calling of my name snaps me out of my flashback as I quickly look to myself to see Rachel. Right…Rachel not- I’m here with Rachel right now
“Hmm? Oh yeah no, I totally agree…”
“Are you sure you’re alright? Your hand got like really sweaty all of a sudden and you look a little pale.” She looks over at me with the look of concern plain on her face. Damnit Max you gotta focus up, need to get these memories under control.
“Yeah I’m fine just had a little spike in anxiet-” Out of the corner of my eye I spot the junkyard, memories fight to break through to the front of my mind as my stomach begins to churn.
She looks past me and spots it too, she rolls her eyes as a drop of sweat rolls down her cheek. “Uggh, yeah no we’re avoiding that place like the plague, not worth the price of admission.”
She looks back ahead and begins to move with a brisk pace away from American Rust, I quickly stumble after her. “Yeah… even if it does have good opportunities for photos, I don’t know… it has a…sour, rotten energy surrounding it…”
She looks back at me with a curious look on her face. “Yeah, I can definitely agree with that assessment. Trust your gut on that one for sure, and stick close to me and maybe we’ll make it out of this death trap alive.”
Death trap is a more apt description than you should ever know Rachel…
We eventually wound up back in the student parking lot, my migraine and anxiety blanketed under a deep haze. “ you know it really doesn’t feel like I spent most of my day out of school…I kind of don’t want it to end…” I climb up to sit on the hood of Warren's car as Rachel stands in front of me with an apologetic grin. “I feel the same Max, today… has honestly been a little healing for me…”
“I’ve been told I have that effect on people, I’m a soothing, chill presence, like a therapy dog." She giggles as she taps at a tire with her foot. “I can see it, you kinda do have golden retriever vibes. I can honestly get used to having a Therapy Max around, just don’t expect any pets.
I chuckle as my cheeks go a little red. “Yeah w-well it’s fine…you’re not supposed to pet service animals anyways…”
She looks down at me with a sly little grin. “Aww that’s a shame…and your hair looks so soft and fluffy and everything.”
I look down nervously playing with my hands before looking back up at her. “Yeah…well I try.”
I hear the sound of a quick small breath come from her before she looks away to the stars in the sky, clearing her throat. “I-it’s amazing how clear the stars are out in the sky tonight…”
My gaze stays on her for a moment before it flicks skyward. “Yeah…you don’t get this kinda view in Seattle.” She smiles a little before looking back at me. “You know I wasn’t kidding when I said this might be a sign earlier, I think the stars may be on your side…Starlight.”
I grin at her as I cross my arms. “Starlight huh? I like the sound of that…”
She gives me a smile just as genuine as that small one of hers, just a little wider this time. “I’m glad you approve, just know I expect a nickname just as good for me some time soon.”
“Well of course.”
“I’ll hold you to that Caulfield, I’m serious.”
“You got it, Captain.” I say with a chuckle and small salute.
Her smile grows a little softer as she looks down at her feet. “Well, u-um I think I'll make my way back to the dorms ahead of you…have a good night Starlight.”
“O-oh uh sure…goodnight Rae, sleep well.” She waves goodbye as she heads up the stairs leaving the parking lot. I sigh as she disappears out of sight. “Rachel…Amber, I can’t believe I’m gonna admit this Chloe…but I think I’m starting to understand the hype.”
For once I wake up before my alarm, and actually feel well rested. After gathering up my shower bag, I head to the showers to get ready for class, my thoughts entirely taken up by the events of yesterday.
“Oh, Max! Good morning.”
I stumble and nearly drop my bag, as I turn to see Kate at the sinks. “Oh, h-hey Kate what's up?”
I’m still really not use to kate being this…chipper, especially on tuesday of all days…
“I’m just glad I caught you! I wanted to check in yesterday after I noticed you weren’t around the second half of the day. I knocked on your door but you didn’t answer…and I just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright…”
Oh Kate…you really are an angel…
“Ah, I’m sorry I didn’t answer my door, I was…probably already asleep. I was having a bad anxiety day and got a little overwhelmed…Rachel found me, and hung out with me most of the day to help me…calm down.” I clutch my shower bag closer to my body as I make my way to one of the shower stalls. Kate brings her attention back to the mirror to finish putting on her modest make up.
Rachel Amber? Huh, well that was very kind of her. I’m glad you didn’t have to go through all that alone then. Oh! I also wanted to know if you'd like to have breakfast with me and a few others today?”
“That sounds awesome Kate, I’ll meet you there?”
She puts her eyeshadow brush away and turns around. “Wonderful! See you then Max” Kate gives me a big smile with a wave before exiting the shower room.
With a small sigh I open the shower curtain and step inside letting the hot water lightly sear into my skin as I rest my forehead on the wall. It’s conversations like those that make feel like not quite a real person anymore…
After my shower I head back to my room to blow dry my hair, I then tie it all into a tight low bun. I put on a deep red shirt with white lettering that says “handsome hero”. chuckling at it in the mirror I then put on some light gray jeans and throw my dark blue hoodie on top of it all, before taking my meds and heading out.
The idea of sitting down having breakfast with friends who are happy and not suffering feels like all the weight being lifted off my shoulders…at least for the next half hour that is.
As I walk into the cafeteria I catch sight of Kate waving me over, she seems to be joined by both Dana and Warren. Them all together hanging out and joking around (Warren included) is such a sight for sore eyes I can’t help but smile as I make my way over to drop my bag off.
“Hey everyone, fancy seeing you all here.” They all laugh as Dana speaks up.
“Heya Max! I’m glad to see you doing better today, Kate was telling me about what you talked about earlier.” I casually wave the sentiment off. “Ah well you know how it is, sometimes your brain is your own worst enemy.”
She takes a sip of her orange juice, before replying, “True that Max, Though I did also hear that it earned you a free day alone with one, Rachel Amber. I bet that was fun! It’s been awhile since I’ve had some good girl time with her.”
Warren looks between the two of us, an obviously shocked expression plastered over his face. “Ha, yeah she certainly is something…speaking of yesterday, I just realized I didn’t have dinner so I’m like uber starving. I’ll be right back guys.”
“Alrighty Max!”
“Sounds good dude”
“Yes, please get some food”
I chuckle to myself as I get into line. How long has it been since I really just sat down and talked to those guys…they really are such good friends, maybe…now I can finally just enjoy that. After I meet back up with Chloe and get this whole psycho teacher problem out of the way of course.
Whilst waiting in line I look out across the cafeteria and soon like eyes once again with Victoria. Soon as she notices she quickly adverts her eyes to her phone. It seems it was enough to draw even Taylor and Courtney’s attention, as they both give her a look of confused concern.
I roll my eyes as I pick out my breakfast for today then head back to our table. I slide in next to Kate and across from Dana. I can immediately see out of the corner of my eye the disappointment in Warren's face from being the furthest from me, but the boy can deal. I honestly wish he could accept our friendship for what it is. It’s honestly a nice one when he isn’t being weird about trying to take it to the next step. Maybe…I should just have an honest talk with him about it…I should write a reminder in my journal later.
“So, what did you and Rachel get up to yesterday?” I turn to see Kate looking up at me from the corner of her eye as she messes with her food, “O-oh umm, she really just…took me outside so I could catch my breath, fresh air and all that. Then we mostly just…talked, took her picture a few times then she brought me back to my dorm.”
“Wait…Rachel let you take her picture?” My gaze is drawn up from my waffles to Dana’s shocked expression. I take a glance at the other two who look equally confused. “Yyyeah? Is- is that a big deal or something? She wants to be a model right, why wouldn’t she let someone photograph her…it’s good practice.”
They all look at each other for a moment before it’s supposedly decided that Dana will continue to be the head of the conversation. “Well i guess it did happen before you arrived, but Rachel had been acting distant and overall not receptive to Mr. Jefferson for a couple weeks and no one knew why, then one day in class he tried to address it, and it was beginning to turn into a shouting match before Rachel just gave up and ran out. She hasn’t been to photography once since…”
My blood suddenly goes cold, as my eyes lose focus staring off into a point behind Dana’s shoulder. Rachel…had it out with Jefferson? Was it over whatever thing they had going on…or-or does she know? If she knows why hasn’t she done anything…wasn’t her dad the DA?
“Yo Max, are you good? You look totally freaked.” My eyes slam towards the sound and see Warren partially leaned over the table. Kate rests a hand on my shoulder looking at me with mild concern.
“I’m good just…digesting that information, she…seemed totally on board with photography when it was just us…you don’t think Jefferson did something to upset or like freak her out do you?”
No better time to plant that little seed I guess…
“Hmm, I’m not sure I know he’s like that chill kinda teacher that gets chummy with his students, maybe he stepped on a boundary of hers without realizing it?” Dana postures to the conversation as Kate brings a knuckle to her lip in thought.
He did sort of singled her out, as the student he had high hopes for. I think he tried to give her the teacher assistant role I have now. Maybe she refused and that caused the rift…though that would be a bit of an unprofessional reaction on Mr. Jefferson's part…”
Unprofessional is barely scratching the surface…the fucking creep.
“I guess…I could always ask her about it directly…we have a decent rapport going I’d like to think.”
“Oh do you now?” She raises her eyebrows, and I can feel my neck heat up under her gaze.
“Dana, please!”
“Wait what is happening? Max?”
“Nothing is happening Warren, Kate it’s fine, Dana’s just being a tease, aren’t you Dana?”
“Sounds like you’re the one being a tease, but fine keep your secrets”
I can definitely tell now how those two were friends before she disappeared in my time…
It took a few minutes but the conversation was dragged back into a state that wouldn’t drive me up a wall. Shortly after it was about time to head to class so we all busked our own trays then set out to head to class. Before I push through the doors I feel a tug at my jacket, and turn around. Kate is behind me grasping at my hoodie her brows furrowed in worry.
“U-um…Max, I-I just wanted to say…I’ve been pretty worried for Rachel for a while. I just- I just don’t want to worry about you too, be careful please.”
I take her hand in mine gently pulling it from my jacket as I swivel to face her, then wrap my other hand over both of ours. “I appreciate your worry I do, but hanging out with Rachel isn’t gonna corrupt me. I’m strong and independent enough to not be swayed into anything I promise.”
I look over to the other side of the cafeteria to catch Victoria and her crew throwing away the trash. Kate follows my gaze with a raised brow. “If you do want to direct your worry for me somewhere productive, Victoria has been staring at me, like a lot lately, and I could not tell you why.”
She looks back at me, thinking of my suggestion. “That is odd, she’s usually a lot more…direct-” She says with a grimace. “-when she has a problem with someone…ok Max I’ll keep an eye out, I seem to be…not on her radar at the moment.”
I take back one hand to lay it on her shoulder. “Exactly, that’s why you’re the perfect agent for this mission Marsh I’m counting on you.” I pull away with a grin and she brings up a hand in an attempt to hide her giggling, before she gives me a cute little salute. I return the gesture then turn to leave through the door.
I’m crossing the hall to head to my locker when something catches my eye out of the corner of my vision. I change my course and head over to one of the push boards on the wall in the center crossway of the school. As soon as my eyes fall upon a simple white piece of paper my vision blurs. I get closer to try to see it clearly but as I do my head starts to hurt as if some part of my brain is trying to censor whatever it is on this board.
I pull the paper from the wall, and try to look at it in my hands. I feel the tell tale feeling of blood running down my nose as I pull it to my face. I wipe at my nose then shake my head a little with my eyes closed. I take in a deep breath and open them, finally what’s before me…in large bold lettering: MISSING: Chloe Elizabeth Pric-
A drop of scarlet falls on her name, my hands tremble, crinkling the paper before it inevitably falls from my grasp. It…can’t be, there’s no way…how? T-there’s no way her path would have ever crossed with Jefferson. C-could it be…Nathan? “Rachel! There you are! I…was hoping that we could talk real quick…actually.” “…please I wouldn’t have called out for you in public like this if it wasn’t important Rachel…”
I walk back up to the board as if I’m pushing through molasses. I look at one of the other posters, at the bottom I see it; “If you have any information contact Rachel Amber at number…”
Days before my mind could catch up my feet were already carrying me out the door in a dead sprint back towards the dorms.
I burst through the door clambering up the stairs in a fashion that could only be described as animalistic. I shoulder check the door to the woman's floor, not losing any momentum as I sway in full sprint towards her door.
Remember her mentioning a personal open door policy, I grab the handle and swing it wide open in one janky motion.
She’s putting the finishing touches on her make up, clearly a late riser, when she spins around starting with a smile when she sees me that drops immediately when she fully takes in the sight of me. “Hey…Max, you doing alright? You look a bit…manic.”
Without answering I walk up and place both my hands on her shoulders, panting from the running.
“U-um…M-Max?”
“You…didn’t tell me about Chloe.” comes out broken in between my heaving.
“W-what was that?”
"Why didn’t you tell me about Chloe?”
“Max? W-what, I mean…”
My hands grip her shoulders a little tighter. “My best friend has been missing for months! And you were the one putting up the posters, and you didn’t tell me!
“Max!” She shoves me off her, with my head aching and hazy I stumble back into the door, slamming my head before I slide down to the floor.
“First of all I’m not sure you have much of a right to call her your “best friend” still, second why are you tearing through the dorms like an angry little twister now? You’ve been here for months! Did you seriously never see any of the posters? I put them up everywhere after all. I know you never tried to call or text her the entire time you’ve been back too. So…why now? Why care now? Why are you coming here trying to ruin this... thing between us with this month’s old bullshit! I’m doing just fine on my own trying to find her thank you! I know I said you’re mysterious and…intriguing…but this? Max…I think you need help. Worry about yourself, before you try to put all your…attention on me…or Chloe.
She stops her speech when she notices I’m not trying to stand up, the dried blood on my lip probably painting a certain picture. “Shit…max Y-You didn’t just get a concussion or something did you? Fuck I’m sorry I shouldn’t hav-”
“She’s gone”
She sighs. “Yeah Max, yes she’s gone. She left me…left us and almost no one cares enough to find her…she’s nineteen, and a total hot head, out and loud lesbian out there alone…in a country like this I-I don’t know I’m- we didn’t end things on good terms, but still it’s my fault. If I just didn-” She’s beginning to cry but I just can’t focus on anything, it doesn’t feel real
“She’s gone…T-The…”
“What? Max, the what?”
“She’s gone…The…the junkyard!” Immediately I’m back on my feet, my brain moving out of sync with my body as they seemingly sway in opposite directions. Before Rachel can ask another question I’m out of the door, then I’m out of the dorms, sprinting past the tobenga statue into the forest, rewinding to keep anyone from stopping me.
I feel like I’ve completely burned out my lungs, but like it was only a few feet away I’m at American Rust in no time at all. I can feel my mind fight my body and even my very existence as I can do all I can to not limp my way through this torn apart place. This melodic and hissing migraine dragging me in and out of reality, as I sway to the spot I know by heart.
My perception of color is beginning to shatter, my vision splitting between two extremes of orange and blue. Despite this I make it, I fall to my knees in front of this dreadful spot in the awful hobble of abandoned metal, immediately plunging my already chipped nails into the dirt. Tearing at the soil piece by piece as my anxiety and pain rises.
Even through the haze and the broken colors…I’m stricken by the sight in front of me…except it’s actually the lack of anything in front of me that leaves me feeling like my everything has just been emptied from my person as she begins to hyperventilate.
“There's no body…”
There’s no body
There’s no body
She raises her right hand and tries to rip herself away, far from this dead end. There’s no body She’s left unmoored here in this backwater reality. And she needs to get out no matter what it does to her or reality itself.
There’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no bodyThere’s no body
Even in the depths of the cosmos can the snap be heard. The pain spreads from the head down throughout her- MY body as all color drains from my vision and more blood than ever before begins to pour from my nose. The melodic sound snaps to a single discordant tone and the hissing drowns out all else.
Somewhere else, some other time raging water slams into the form resembling that of a young woman. With each bash of water a string is severed and the woman becomes less than full, more than a singular self. The solidified persona of the woman in a location much more understandable to us, finally comes to understand what is happening to her- HAPPENING TO ME. With this realization I begin to drag myself to the shack, my humble and increasingly useless body leaving a trail of blood evidence of my cosmic ego death. When I’m finally there I yank myself to my knees, and pull out my journal from my bag. With this last ditch effort to make this all FUCKING WORTH IT!
She pulls out a pen and begins writing everything she can in the time that she has left. She starts with an explanation of her powers, then moves on to her best description of what is supposed to have happened from her tearing memories as well as the differences she’s noted so far. She makes sure to leave a message in between stating in large scratchy script NO HOSPITALS! It’s too much of a waste of time, and whatever max she body snatched needs all the time she can get, and even more so doesn’t need the questions doctors would ask about the state of herself especially with the scars I’ve left on her arms. My vision begins to be eaten away by black as my train of thought derails, my mind clearly deteriorating, but as I try to write just a little bit more relevant information…She can only write a name over and over again on the last page, Chloe’s name floods the page in a spiral, as with the last frayed string begins to tear she writes over top all the names; FIND HER.
The thread snaps and the Faux Form that allowed her to maintain herself in timelines she didn’t belong to shatters. The last of her is hauled away in the depths, dragged down into a vortex of cold, dark possibility. Colleen Maxwell is no longer present…all that’s left is Max Caulfield. She however will take some time to acclimate with herself once again, and in that time her body falls to the floor, the bleeding slowly coming to an end as it pools around her head. Currently no longer present in the world neither of the two can hear the sound of footsteps as a precocious young blonde woman with a notable earring arrives at the junkyard, having just left her car in a full sprint following a concerning trail of blood to discover Max Caulfield passed out in a small pool of her own blood, her attention only drawn away by a suspicious crimson covered notebook and a page littered with the name that holds a special place in both their hearts, and a declaration of intent FIND HER
Notes:
damn looks like the universe decided to blow on the ol' max caulfield cartridge, wonder what that means for her, and her plans to fix things. The other shoe finally drops! I thought about dragging this out a bit more but I honestly think it needs to happen here for the story to breath as I take it in the direction it needs to go. Also I'm sure you noticed the little nod there to another of my favorite works in the fandom by Shisumo. The "A Pair of Star Crossed Lovers" series is so good, and Colleen Maxwell is such a good name for an alternate max I couldn't help myself!
Chapter 4: Let a Girl Catch Her Breath First, Will Ya?
Summary:
Why don't we have a quick little "rewind" down memory lane as we catch up from the perspective of the "girl who is meant to be dead", and see just what exactly led up to her being here now.
Notes:
TW// Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Self harm, Suicide Ideation, Mention of domestic abuse
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Tap Tap Tap Tap
Tap Tap Tap Tap
Tap Tap Tap Tap
Rachel sits at her desk in the bedroom of her family home, tapping her fingers against the desk, deep in thought. She looks back to the bed and the unconscious girl lying in it, before going back to stare a hole through the notebook in front of her.
With a sigh she flips the pages all the way back to the beginning, as they do memories flit and flutter behind half lidded eyes, all the way back to a comfortably warm spring day.
A frustrated girl sits by herself on a lone bus seat removed and placed in this shack years ago. She lets out a tired sigh as she clicks at her pen rapidly. This is so stupid! How am I…not able to find the right words… She usually doesn’t do this, she usually doesn’t have to.
Rachel Amber rarely has to apologize, she’s usually right most of the time after all, and when she isn’t no one ever makes a big enough of a fuss for an apology to be relevant. It’s because of this that she thought this would be easier for her to put in a note rather than spoken word.
However what she failed to take into account was that this would make her pretty bad at apologizing in general. So now she’s sitting out here by herself, paranoid about running into either of them, and trying to write this damn letter.
“Chloe’s worth it…” you just have to get your shit together, Amber. You already wrote Frank that letter and broke it off with him, this should be easier…right? She looks up towards their makeshift table, the photographic evidence that she stole from Frank resting on top of a pizza box. She rubs at her brow before standing up and heading to the corner where she left the cooler bag.
“I’m excessively too sober for this.”
She grabs a green bottle and taps the cap against the edge of some junk until it pops off. Taking a swig she makes her way back, and plopping herself into the seat, she stares at the lined piece of paper like it just kicked her dog as she takes another large gulp of beer.
She takes a sharp breath through her nose before grabbing her pen and leaning over the table. “Alright Rachel Amber, we’re going to write the single, greatest damn apology ever put to paper.”
Chlo,
I’m sure it’s obvious how much I care about you, and how much I want to be open with you, since I would almost never do this. I’m afraid however that my type of care might not ever be enough for you. You love so fiercely and so strongly, and I love that about you so much, but I’ve gotten so scared.
You know me, I catastrophize and make some, not so thought out decisions when I’m in that headspace. I think this time though I made a really dumb and really shitty mistake-
With a sigh she writes down the last word. “I…really did just dump everything in here. That’s good though right?…Full honesty and all that, down to the last word.” She looks back at the note and frowns, she bends back down and crosses out “choice” and over top of it writes “mistake.”
She then puts the letter in an envelope alongside a bundle of money she got from running jobs for Frank as well as the pictures. She looks down at it in her hands, her pulse quickens as her throat goes dry. She stuffs it into a space between the bench and a part of the wall with a missing brick. “Soon…soon I’ll make it up to you I promise…”
“Make it up to me?! Rachel, they already don’t like you! You can’t do shit like this!
The girl with the particularly high blood/alcohol count stares out the window of a beat up truck, barely present in this one sided argument. “I was…havign a baad day okay…I just wanted to see you. I didn’t think the fascist would be h-home!…and since he was I uh, I um improvised!”
The girl with tattoos and a rapidly souring mood next to her looks over at her in disbelief before returning her attention to keeping the both of them on the road. “Improvised right, climbing the roof is usually a good call, but in this case you were extremely drunk off your fucking ass Rach!” She brings up a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. “I’m pretty sure you dented his car, you know, when you fucking fell off the roof. We’ll be lucky if he doesn’t finally try something…fuck he could pull charges Rachel…”
“Rachel's brows twitch as her face twists into a small snarl. “Oh…fucking whatever, he can fucking try! He’ll just make shit harder for you and Joyce, you know my dad wouldn’t take a public blow to the Amber image like that lying down. Maybe that’ll be a wake up call for your mom to kick his useless ass to the curve…”
“Rachel…as much as I’d like to see his pube stache gone, please leave my mom out of this…anyways this isn’t about him this about your crazy fucking behavior recently.
Rachel turns her glare on the driver, and Chloe, angry as she is, avoids looking to the passenger side, as a drop of sweat rolls down her head. “Do NOT call me crazy…”
Chloe lets out a loud frustrated sigh as she rolls the window down to let the truck cool down. “Rach…I wasn’t calling you crazy! I was- Just…please stop doing that shit…”
“What shit?...”
“That…thing! you know…where you somehow zero in on and pick out the one thing I say that automatically turns you into the victim in any conversation! It pisses me off, like, it feels like you’re shutting down every argument before it can fucking go anywhere!”
“Well not everyone likes getting into screaming matches Chloe…” She slides further down the seat crossing her arms.
“You think I like this!? Dude! what are you on?”
“Uggh…Chloe! Because you take lllliterally every chance you get to blow up on people, it's n-not even just me!” Her grip on the steering wheel tightens.
“Well, people always let me down or fuck me over don’t they. I think they get exactly what they’re asking for…”
Rachel rubs at her brow as she growls quietly. “I…whatever Chloe, sure…keep telling yourself that, that’ll keep people around…” Rachel, completely uncoordinated, messes with the lock before launching herself out of the door and onto the grass. She can hear Chloe shouting in surprise as she stumbles back up like an injured doe.
She trudges to the other side of the road as she leans out of the window. “Rachel you’re being literally insane right now, please get back in the truck!” Rachel waves back with just her fingers as she continues on without looking back. “No thank you Chloe! I’m close enough anyways, please leave me the fuck alone now!”
Chloe growls as she blows air from her nostrils and punches the steering wheel. “FUCK!”
Rachel rounds the corner past a bush as she finally lets the tears pour from her eyes.
“fuck…”
Rachel lies on her bed arm raised in the air as she lets a small trickle of crimson slowly run down its length. It reaches the crook of her arm and falls to her cheek. She finally lets her arm fall to her bed, careful to leave them cut side up. Next to her fingers lies her phone screen slowly fading off, showing a text from her father expecting her to be present at some event.
The blood slides down her cheek a little before she reaches up to wipe it off like a tear. She stayed in her bed like this for about 30 minutes before the sting in her arms finally caused tears to prickle in her eyes. She rolls off her bed, and shuffles over to her drawer to pull out a box of bandage wraps.
She creates a tear with her teeth as she finishes up covering her arms. Rachel lets out an exhausted sigh as her eyes immediately start to gravitate towards the bottle of wine on her desk.
No I should…I should do my homework, it needs to get done before tomorrow…
The tired girl walks up to her desk eyeing the private chat forum for blackwell students. The longer she stares at it and the more messages pop up the heavier the bags on her eyes seem to feel. Another party…maybe I should go, I haven’t been to many since being with Chloe and I’m afraid Victoria and her new groupies may start pulling shit…and the thought of that makes me so…tired
Frozen by the sudden decision anxiety she gets lost in herself as the walls seem to crowd around her. Her skin begins to hum as she heats up from the inside before- Buzz…Buzz…Buzz
Rachel looks at her bed and sees her cell lighting up, she crosses her room in a moment and picks up her phone. The phone lights back up as she hits the home button and shows a notification from Chloe's contact.
“Oh thank god…I need someone actually sane to talk to-” She swipes her phone open as the text log pops up with only two new messages.
Chloe: I knw abt Frank
Chloe: Fuck you Rachel
The dark walls from before instantly slam into her as the air is knocked from her lungs. No sounds penetrate these walls as she’s left with only a soft hum and her increasingly rapid heartbeat.
A rubber band stretched too far suddenly snaps and her phone is flying towards the wall. It strikes true as a scream tears itself from her throat, deep booming thunder accompanies it bathing the room in light before it goes dark. The reverberating boom is followed by the sound of a steady wall of rain to replace the humming in her mind as she slowly backs up until running into the table behind her. If she could hear past the rain and the blood rushing through her ears, she’d hear the sounds of concerned students over the sudden storm and power outage of the dorms.
Somehow through all the noise in her head she does catch the sound of teetering glass. The frazzled girl's head slowly twists to look over her shoulder spotting the bottle of wine. Her pupils shrink as tears fall from her eyes like ink tinged waterfalls. Her mind wipes everything else away as it focuses solely on One. Single. Task.
A hand reaches out to rap against a door, footsteps are heard beyond as the hand falls away. The door opens, and a shorter middle aged blonde woman with tired eyes that lock with Rachels, stands in the doorway. “Chloe! So you finally show yoursel- oh…Rachel. It’s…good to see you, do you happen to know where my little headache has gone off to?”
Dull, tired eyes look to the right to see the absence of a run down truck in the driveway before looking back to the older woman. “So she didn’t say anything to you either…”
Joyce lets out a tired sigh before stepping aside. “Well I won’t just have you stand out in the cold, come, come on inside now.”
Rachel stumbles in and for just a moment, being in this familiar warmth, the weight on her back that has been tearing her down shrivels to a more manageable size. “So, she hadn’t said anything this whole week?”
“Well just a few texts but…” She itches at the bandages under her sweater. “Nothing about where she would have gone…and she’s not at any of our usual spots…”
Joyce clicks her teeth with her tongue. “Well shoot, if she’s not even talking to you I…I really don’t know what I should do.” The woman rubs at her eyes as she leans against the kitchen counter. Rachel follows her further into the house but chooses not to lean or sit.
“I know you two had been fighting…did- did she…”
Rachel's mind wanders through the swamp of alcohol before reaching the memories of those two texts burned into her mind. “I…don’t know if you could call this a fight, I feel like that requires both participants and well…”
“I really hope she’s just out there camping somewhere to cool her head a little…I really don’t want to involve the police given her…history but I already feel like we’re running out of options…I know david would throw a fit if-”
As if summoned from hell itself the sound of the door unlocking clicks, before it aggressively swings open and he comes trudging through the threshold as if storming the shores of Normandy
His eyes immediately fly towards the foreign element in the room, the already angry expression simmering even further. “Oh, now what is she doing here!?”
For just a moment Frank is in the room with her, and Rachel's heart rate spikes as her hand inches towards the glass of water on the table. David walks further into the room dispelling the image of Frank as he glares down at her.
“David! You need to cool it down right now, Rachel’s just here to talk about Chloe.” The woman gestures towards the panicking girl. “She was just telling me they weren’t even fighting, Chloe just wasn’t talking to her…She apparently wasn’t talking to anyone…”
Joyce looks down as the strength in her voice fades away. Madsen looks between the both of them for a moment with raised eyebrows before they quickly shoot back down into a frown. “Oh I’m sure she’d like you to think that wouldn’t she?”
Rachel looks up at him as her finger circles the edge of the glass slowly. “What the h-hell is that supposed to mean?” He’s suddenly jabbing his finger in her direction as his voice bellows out into the room
“I’ll have you know missy, that I had her phone bugged weeks ago because I knew something was up!”
“David you did what?”
“Jesus, what the hell madsen! What if I was sending her nudes? Have you literally never heard of privacy!?”
He lets out a low chuckle as he pulls out a folded piece of paper. “First of all sending “nudes” could get you both charged with a misdemeanor at least second of all I’m damn well glad I did since I found this in her recent history!” He unfolds the paper and holds it out for both to see, on its surface is a blown out screenshot of Chloe's last two texts to her.
The visual reminder leaves her feeling slapped as she stumbles into the table. Joyce looks at her with a glimmer of concern before it falls to confusion. “Rachel a-are those real? What do they mean? Who’s this Frank?” Rachel has lost all footing in this conversion as her brain flushes to her stomach, causing her to miss most of the questions just slung at her.
“I-I…u-um…” the finger tracing the glass picks up its pace desperate to let out at least some of the anxious energy curdling in her chest. Joyce’s expression flips right back to concern before she shakes her head and turns towards David to resume the argument that was just starting with him before he openly slammed Rachel's sins in front of the both of them.
“...ow I wouldn’t have agreed with you doing thi-”
“-new that they were hanging out with shady people, getting up to nothing go-”
Their voices quickly fall to a mumble in her ears as her head is overtaken by that familiar hum, her finger continues to grow its rapid pace before the water suddenly alights with a flash as the glass shatters. A shard flies up and cuts her cheek, but she pays it no mind before she flicks her head to look at the both of them, her cold glare making its return on her face.
“Ok, alright, FUCK! just shut up! Yes I fucking admit it, I was fucking seeing someone behind her back alright! It wasn’t supposed to turn out this way starting out! I…didn’t want it to be…” tears begin to flow from her eyes as everything that has been thrashing and tearing inside her mind comes to the surface.
“We were struggling to find the money to get out of this shit hole town ok! But Chloe was finding it impossible to find a decent paying job with her record, and I didn’t have the time to do reasonable work while still at Blackwell! So…I thought I’d take the bullet…I got closer to Frank to get better paying odd jobs. I didn't expect it to go so far but…you know me!” She says with a sharp grin that fails to meet her eyes. “Classic irrational, emotionally driven, and hopeless romantic Rachel Amber! My stupid ass caught feelings for a fucking loser like Frank, even when…even when I had someone like her…”
Almost all energy leaves her body before she falls to her knees, Joyce too shocked to move to help her like she normally would have. “But since it turns out I have terrible taste in men! He showed his true colors pretty quickly…his sharp, damaging colors…I broke it off…I was gonna tell her. I wrote a note and everything…was gonna give it to her when I finally gathered the courage, but I guess she got to it before I could…
Before either of the two stunned adults could say anything she abruptly stood back up, mascara running down her face now. “So yeah, I hurt your daughter like the awful piece of shit I am…David was right I don’t deserve to be here…I don’t belong in a home like this. I’m sorry I was ever in your life to tear it to shreds like this.” And with that she briskly leaves the Madsen-Price household. Shattered glass littering the floor left to be picked up by someone else.
The next couple of months are a complete blur for Rachel. Pill bottles grow in number on her floor, glass bottles half haphazardly shoved under her bed, the undranken ones stuffed into her closet under the shelf for her shoes.
Parties filled with people she can no longer care to give a shit about, and memories that quickly become foggy before they disappear completely. Missed texts and calls from concerned friends and someone she barely stomachs to call her father.
All forgotten by a girl barely sitting up, against her bed. Her eyes unfocussed in the direction of her thighs, which are littered with tally marks counting to a little under 61 slashes, roughly split between each leg.
The exacto knife is slowly sheathed before it slides from her grasp. Her heavy eyes slowly blink, as a sudden buzzing sound comes from her bed followed by some pop song from the radio. She raises her arm above her as she blindly searches for her phone in a sloppy uncoordinated fashion
She eventually finds it letting her hand limply fall back into her lap, phone now in hand. She blinks the haze away to look at the alarm message telling her photography class is beginning soon.
With a great sigh she heaves herself up, grabbing her flannel from the floor and slinging over her body. She sprays herself with an excessive amount of perfume and pops four mints into her mouth. She walks over to her mirror and gives her hair a quick brush over before heading out with yesterday's make up still on.
Photography left her feeling more and more irritated as time went on, mostly due to Mark growing more and more insistent. At one point she found him kinda charming if a bit dangerous in an exciting way, which she felt drawn to. After how bad Frank went ,however, and with Chloe being completely AWOL everything about whatever they had going on began to sour.
She sat down and immediately noticed he was staring out at her as he was typing something on his computer. Rachel nodded nonchalantly in his direction with her best fake smile. Her expression dropped as soon as she twisted to pull her textbook out.
Class was going by normally, with her trying her best to ignore Jefferson’s attempts to repeatedly engage her in the lesson, until suddenly he slammed his hand on the table startling the class and most of all Rachel herself who was in the middle of a nice session of dissociation.
“Now, Rachel, I know you’re not zoning out in my class. As my top student I would like to expect a bit more from you.”
She turns her head slightly, tightly locking into a dead stare at the teacher. She stands from her table with a sigh. “Ok, you know what Mark. I really can’t bring myself to care, and I really wish you would take the fucking hint!”
“Rachel!”
Rachel grabs her bag, and sighs as she tries her best to decompress, slinging it over her shoulder before immediately walking towards the door. “Respectfully Mark I would appreciate it if you quit breathing down my damn neck with that scruffy beard of yours.
And with that she exits stage left, her flannel flowing behind her dramatically before the door slams behind her. Jefferson as well as the rest of the class sit there in stunned silence, as the pen in the teacher's hand falls to the floor.
Walking past her locker she slams it with her fist, it flings open in response, the sound of vibrating metal accompanying it. She reaches in, with one swift motion and pulls out a silver flask with a starry sky sleeve over top of it. She leaves her locker open as she walks out of the building taking one long swig from it before shoving it into her bag.
A dart is sloppily thrown just barely hitting the board. Rachel lays back down her other arm dangling off the edge of the bench, a green bottle with the label scratched off loosely in her grasp.
The numbness she’s grown accustomed to, is suddenly and violently pulled out from under her and the tears begin to pour out of her before she can even realize. “What…the…fuck”
Rachel sits up trying her best to wipe them from her eyes, but to no avail as her mascara already began to run. “Motherfuck this can’t be happening, are you serious right now.”
With a growl she tears the dart board off the wall stomping on it over and over before twirling to kick the makeshift table over, a myriad of objects flinging off it onto the floor. The light slowly fades from the holes in the shack, as she begins to hear the sound of an engine and tires rolling up before they shakily shut off.
Her hazy mind immediately jumps to conclusions as her crying temporarily stops from the shock. Rachel bursts from the shack running out into the center of the junkyard, barely being able to keep herself upright, a desperate need to see that beaten down old truck, and is quickly disappointed and immediately on edge as an equally old and run down R.V comes into view.
The door soon swings open to showcase the biggest mistake of hers, and the man of her regrets; Frank Bowers. “You have…got...to be…fucking kidding me…”
His face immediately twists into a disappointed frown. “Jesus, good to see you too Rachel…” He walks out of the R.V taking a look around before looking back at her like a kicked puppy.
She can’t help but scoff. “We both know that’s bullshit Frank, as well as completely fucking one sided.” He furrows his brows at her. “Wooow! so we’re already at the rewriting history part of this are we?”
She crosses her arms as she glares at him. “I will fully admit I had feelings for you and that it was a total mistake on my part. Also now that I’m finally away from the rose colored bullshit why don’t we address the fact you’re a 32 fucking year old man!?”
“Watch it"
“Ohoho” she growls out. “Watch it huh, maybe you should watch how you talk to the daughter of the fucking DA Frank, not a good look hooking up with a minor is it? You ruined fucking everything Bowers don’t you fucking see that!? The clouds go even darker as the first drops of rain fall onto the R.V.
She begins to slowly stomp towards him, Frank backs up just as slowly, subtly reaching back for the knife in his back pocket just in case. “Did it feel good taking advantage of me when I was desperate for money, desperate to get out of here? I mean fuck Frank how real was that drug dealer with a heart of gold act really!?
“Rachel just calm down, huh? You know me, I genuinely cared about your dumb ass, I was never so underhanded…” The spiteful girl let out a dark laugh.
“Right, yes, of course you cared about me…that's why you treated me like your own personal punching bag when you were angry, or drunk!” Thunder cracks ahead as the rain comes down in sheets. “I still have scars Frank, FUCKING SCARS
The rain begins to mix with hail, the wind picking up, turning her hair into golden vengeful vipers. “Everytime I have to interact with men above even the age of 19 I feel a dark fucking pit of rot fester in my stomach decaying the life around me! You, my father, even my fucking teacher! Every last one of you makes me feel nothing but like I’m trapped in a god damn corner!"
"You should definitely keep in mind what they say about cornered animals you sad, two faced mother fucker"
Suddenly a piece of hail the size of a soft ball slams into the windshield of the R.V. Frank looks over in surprise, backing away. “What…the fuck?” Before he can turn back around to finally say his piece another smaller piece of ice slams into his head and he falls down, completely out cold.
Rachel's hyperventilating and rapid heartbeat begins to calm as she stares at his unconscious form. The humming in her ears begins to calm as she wraps her arms around her torso, her lip quivers as her crying starts up again. I-I don’t know if I can keep doing this…I NEED OUT
“You need to get the fuck out of here Amber, you are so not welcome here anymore.” The honey haired girl stares up at the taller blonde defiantly. “Are you actually fucking serious Vic? Don’t make me laugh, For one don’t act like this stupid little VIP club means anything, and two with what fucking muscle are you gonna keep me out, little miss suspiciously skinny?”
Victoria’s blue eyes go ice cold as her brow twitches, before she can launch into her own tirade Hayden walks up with an embarrassed expression painting his face as he rubs the back of his neck. “Listen Rach I really hate to do this, and it's nothing personal, but you’ve kinda been all over the place. It’s not a great look for one of our higher members to be tweaking so hard, and it’s making the other members feel unsafe…”
Rachel sways a little in place, completely stunned into silence. Victoria takes this moment as her chance to speak up. “Honestly this is a kindness Rachel, we're saving you the humiliation. Your whole deal these past few months has been…well, so sad face, really. I always wanted the win, but a victory like this? Well it's honestly a little…disappointing, and…reeks of alcohol.” She gives her one of her smarmy little smirks. “Who knows, maybe if you can get your act together a little you can even help Courtney with taking coats?"
Rachel turned around and began to walk away. “I still have some of my pride Vic fuck off with your charity bullshit.”
The tall girl laughs. “PUH-lease, this whole fall of royalty bs over an absolute nothing girl like Kari Price? You wanna talk about pride? Where is the self respect? Cause I haven’t seen it in the room for years.”
The drunk girl stops in place fists clenching as she takes a sharp deep breath through her nose. “Yeah, you know what fuck it.” She immediately turns back around her anger pushing past her drunkenness keeping her stable as she marches right back up to Victoria. Her fist making clean, painful contact with the blonde girl's left eye, knocking her straight on her ass.
Her name’s fucking Chloe Price and I don’t want to hear it out of your silicone filled, duck lipped mouth ever fucking again! While we’re at it I fully expect for you to never speak another word to me from here on out in general or I will do so much worse than color a small part of your face purple you hear me?!
Hayden rushes over behind her and gets his arms under hers and begins to drag her back towards the door. “Alright, yup it's time for you to go Rachel. Sorry it had to be like this but you took first swing.
Suddenly she’s sitting in the grass open to the cool night air. She looks up to see a tall girl with dyed hair leaning against a pole smoking, watching her with a disappointed expression on her face.
“Oh shut up, I know you’re not real…I’m not that lucky.”
It’s the beginning of a new year and Rachel would be surprised she’s still here if not for the fact she’s far too aware of who her father is. She should be out of this hell hole and onto bigger things in cali, but the past 5 months have been rough, so another year was unfortunately in order for her. Thankfully she doesn’t have to worry about moving in, so she’s spending her time being high and lying on her bed listlessly scrolling social media on her phone. She’s not really actually paying attention to her phone which is why she catches the sound of a bunch of stuff falling followed by an “OH, shit, I’m so sorry!” and a “Honestly it’s fine we both weren’t looking where we were going.” through her cracked open door.
Neither voices were familiar and this actually caught Rachel's attention. Therefore she of course had to get up and quietly walk over and lean out of her doorway to sneak a peak.
“My name’s Kate, Kate Marsh, I’m guessing you’re new here too?” A girl with similarly honey blonde hair, tied up into a bun and modest clothing finishes picking up her boxes. While from the back she saw an unassuming looking girl with brown hair who was still scrambling to clean her own mess.
“Yeah, yup I am. Sorry again, um…oh! I’m Max, Max Caulfield…at your service, heheheh…”
The world seems to move on a swivel as Rachel stumbles back into the room falling on her ass. T-there’s no way, it can’t be the same Max…could it? There’s no fucking way the universe could have such poor timing, nor be this…bizzarely cruel?
Rachel breaks out into a cold sweat, her stomach churns and she’s instantly sticking her face into her trash can expelling what very little substance that was in her stomach. “This year…is gonna be even worse isn’t it…”
The next few weeks, when she wasn’t busy not focusing on her school work or putting up posters she spent closely watching the shy hipster girl. From what she could tell Max just seemed like your typical shy wall flower girl, even if she could surprisingly hold her own against Victoria’s bull shit. A fact of which drove the ice queen up the wall, and unfortunately made Rachel warm to her slightly.
She seemed nothing like the type of girl that would go and forget/ignore a girl like Chloe she had built up in her mind. It was making it hard to hate her, but then again she also thought she might be too tired to spend anything else on hate these days.
Rachel was disappointed to find that the mild bit of bravery she held against Victoria did not extend to other social situations, the latest Vortex party seemingly Maxless. It would have been the perfect situation to pick the mind of the girl whilst she was tipsy, or overwhelmed by a party even Rachel deemed too much these days.
Instead she had to switch priorities, stealing the time of Juliet Watson and by extension Dana Ward. “...I don’t know, I heard people saw what might have been her truck leaving south out of Arcadia but who knows where she went or if she got far in that old thing.”
Rachel let out a long groan as she rested against the wall, bonking her head against it. “Yeah…that’s really not much to go off of Jules…” Watson rotated the red solo cup in her hands as she grins apologetically at Rachel. “Well I mean she wasn’t someone who had a whole lot of eyes on her, and she left in a hurry so, that's the best even I have I’m afraid…”
“No you’re right and I appreciate it I really do, you two are always so good to me, I don’t know if I really deserve it…” Juliet looks at Dana who shares her look of concern. Dana finally speaks up resting a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “Of course you do, you’ll always be our girl. You’re definitely much better company than Victoria…You’re just struggling right now. I wish we could do more…”
Rachel actually smiles for the first time tonight. “Thanks Dana…I am trying to get my act together it's jus-” For a moment she glances over Dana’s shoulder and spots Nathan quickly sliding past Kate Marsh of all people. Huh…honestly surprised she’s here, everyone does have more going on under the surface I suppose. Her musings are caught off just like her sentence when Nathan passes Kate and only stops to be in front of her glass of wine she left on the table.
His hand glides over the glass for a moment before he nonchalantly slides further past looking back and forward. “Oh hell no is that shit happening here.” She looks back to Dana and Juliet. “You two go distract Kate, I totally just saw Nathan put something in her drink. She doesn’t deserve to have this kind of experience at her first party here, and she especially does not need to see what’s about to happen. I’ll handle Prescott”
The other two girls look behind them in shock for only a second before jumping into action, making their way towards Kate and begin to lead her to the dance floor. Rachel however, immediately marches towards Nathan standing at the drink table looking frustrated and a little worried as he sees Kate be led away from her drink.
“Nathan god damn Prescott! You cannot actually be for fucking real!” The boy startles from the tone of her voice as he quickly turns to face her. “R-Rachel? I didn’t know you were here…” He begins to back towards the table attempting to cover the evidence with his own body.
“Yeah, how very unlucky for you apparently” she says through gritted teeth as she grabs him by the lapel of his jacket dragging him in a circle so he’s now behind her as she faces the table.
“S-so…uhh wh-whats up?” Her shoulder blades visibly clench as she stiffens seeing the slight fizzing to the red liquid. She grabs it in her hand and spins on him a cold, frost bitten rage in her eyes.
“I know you’ve been struggling, fuck Nate I empathized with you…tried to help you through it best I can, hoping you’d do the same for me, I’ve been going through hell too…but this!?”
She holds the evidence in front of her, the red contained inside sloshing from side to side. “You better fucking not have been planning on doing what I assume you were, or so help me god, we’ll both end up in prison. You for…this and me for first degree murder! She emphasizes her finishing statement with swinging the glass, splashing all of its contents onto Nathan.
He backs up, partially curling in on himself. “I-I’m…s-sorry this was m-my last chance…I don’t know what will happen if I don’t…I’m so sorry.” his voice audibly full of tears, but he dared not show his face though, hiding it behind his arms. Rachel looked down on him with tired, confused, contempt. “What happened to you, fuck, what happened to either of us…” and with that Rachel stalked out of yet another Vortex party. Kate, Dana, and Juliet dancing on the opposite side of the building, one girl none the wiser, the other two trying their best to ignore the bad feeling in their gut.
Rachel's cheek rests in her hand as her eyes keep drooping in an attempt to fall asleep. The darkness of the classroom is only broken by the light of the projector, as the teacher drones on and on about statistics. She truly wishes she could be anywhere but here, but she desperately needs to graduate this year otherwise she’s sure she won’t make it out alive.
Her eyes drift to her right to catch Courtney jotting down two sets of notes, The blonde rolls her eyes, as she looks to her left to catch sight of Nathan mindlessly tapping their pencil against a notebook as their knee rapidly bounces below.
She grumbles to herself before the bell finally rings freeing her from this rotting social hell hole. She slams her books closed quickly getting up and leaving the room, she cuts a direct line to her locker. Putting away her books, she also checks the pill bottle instantly noting its emptiness.
“Shit, of course I’m out…”
She pulls out her phone, shooting a quick message to her new dealer, the response quick, and directing her to the local park. Rachel's left eye twitches as she puts her phone away. With her tongue clicking against her teeth she makes her way to the crossway at the entrance of the school.
She rubs at her brows as she stares up at the pin board in frustration. With a soft growl she opens her bag and pulls out multiple papers, stapling each to the board in quick succession. When I find out who keeps taking these down, it’s on sight.
“Amber! You do understand you need explicit permission to put up any flyer onto the public boards here, or are you being willfully insubordinate yet again.” The remaining flyer in her hand crumples in her grasp as she turns around to acknowledge the walking abuse of power in the room.
“Are you…fucking kidding me madsen? I’m at least actually doing something, and yet you want to stop any progress at any chance you get. What, do you have invested interest in Chl- in her staying missing? Is that it!?”
He steps towards her waving his finger in her direction. “YOU! You watch yourself young lady…I will not have this lip from you on this campus!” She boldly walks forward till his finger makes contact with her clavicle. “And there you go waving your flimsy authority, said authority you only have because you let bullshit rules keep you from making any reasonable difference, like finding your own god damn step daughter.”
His mustache twitches up in a snarl, he takes his hand away, crossing his arms as he looks at her with barely veiled frustration. “Just!... make sure these are gone before Wells sees them. We don’t need another girl expelled from this place…over something so…pointless.” And with that he spins around and walks to the back door.
She growls out a sigh leaning against the board, absent mindedly picking at the skin around her nails with her thumbnail. If not even Joyce or David are looking anymore…then what am I doing, she left me…and clearly doesn’t want to be found. Even if I could reach her I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t be able to pull her back…
As if to answer her frustrations the door to the girls bathroom slams open and out pops Max Caulfield. She looks about as exhausted as I feel…what the hell happened to her? She has the heaviest eye bags, her skin looking incredibly pale as she makes a break for the door with a fierce frown on her face. Wait…is she skipping school? What the hell…oh I’ve gotta see what’s going on here!
Rachel and Max stand in front of the tracks waiting as the train rapidly approaches. Rachel, still fuming at her interaction with Nate, can't believe he thought he would get the chance to explain himself only a day after trying to roofie a girl at the party. He should know by now it’s not that easy with her.
After a moment they’re both sitting in the train car as they rapidly escape that sinking pit. She finally lets herself breath, calming herself as she turns to face the girl in front of her. She could tell from the moment they first spoke at the front doors that Max has been putting on an act. What she’s attempting to hide, however Rachel is currently unsure, but she will find out before the end of the day.
Finally allowed to be this close to her, she notices that Max's hair seems noticeably longer and definitely styled differently, having dropped the soft hipster look as well. Either Max is simply going through her own grunge version of a princess diaries situation or something is actually up with her. The lack of immediate obvious answers, and the girl’s caginess is slowly drawing Rachel into a deep dark vortex she has no idea is a danger to her.
I need to know if she has anything on Chloe…it’s a long shot knowing her but…It’s the only lead I have right now.
She easily manipulates her way into having Max’s phone in her possession, as the brunette waits patiently Rachel quickly scrolls down to Chloe’s contact…only to be met with disappointment. As she feared the last message was about 4 years ago, she keeps her face still, before backing out and quickly adding her own contact onto her phone before switching to…Kate’s for the dare. Who knows Max could still be of some use later.
She takes one more look back watching Max at the view finder, a girl in her element, before she turns back around with a sigh. Her mood drops in parallel as she makes her way down the other side of the path. She itches at her wrists nervously as she spots her dealer half way down the path standing under a curving tree resting on the side of the hill. He looks up from his phone and waves her down with a dopey grin on his face.
"Spotted Doe! there's the lady who helps keep my bills paid every month." She rolls her eyes with a grin as she reaches the shade of the tree. "And there's the guy who keeps me from lighting the stage on fire." They exchange a fist bump as the man chuckles. "Things still ain't great in Arcadia Bay?" Rachel pulls out a wad of cash as The dealer unzips his bag. "Are they ever? I swear it feels like the people here are growing more...unhinged by the day..." including yourself
"That's small town life for yah Spots, everybody knows everybodies secrets, but don't care enough to solve the problems." Rachel takes a moment to genuinely look at the scruffy guy with sunglasses as she hands over the cash. "that's...well put Shades, hit the nail right on the head." He smiles at her as he takes the cash and hands her 4 bottles of pills. "Yeah well I wanted to be a writer, and I always loved the small town mystery books." Rachel looks down into her bag in thought as she thinks on the day so far. I could tell we've...both been really anxious around each other, maybe I should get something to help with that...while I'm here.
"Hey actually, you wouldn't happen to have any weed in your stock this month? nothing too strong, something that will sit well with a newbie?" He stops halfway through zipping up his bag, looking up at her with characteristically mild amusement. "I do in fact have just what you're looking for this month, you're in luck Spots." He rifles through the bag once more before pulling out a small baggie, Rachel giving him a plastic grin. "I always seem to be."
The break off heading separate directions as the dealer waves goodbye. "See yah next time SD, have fun with your date!" Rachel can't help but laugh a little as she returns his wave with a peace sign. "Yeah, yeah, sure I'll do just that Shades, you have a good one now. Stay out of trouble. She can hear his wavy laugh fade into the distance as she makes her way back up the trail. I really hope the rumors are true and Max knows her stuff. It's been forever since I've had a half decent photo shoot, and I am not in the mood for disappointment today...
Rachel finds herself absolutely shell shocked. She's been photographed before but Max brings this level of soft intimacy to her direction that leaves the girl feeling a little adrift. The moment they locked eyes on the bridge left her a little breathless when the light of the sun painted itself across her freckles, letting them sparkle across her cheeks. That feeling permeates as she drifts through the next couple of shoots in a euphoric blur. Photographed under the gaze of a girl like her, leaves a stark contrast to the times she modeled for class. Something about those focused blue eyes actually leaves her feeling calm and collected enough to just be what she needs to be for each photo.
In comparison she hadn’t expected standing in front of that tree again would leave her feeling so empty, she especially wasn’t expecting the warmth that filled her chest in it's place, hearing what Max had to say in that moment. Her perspective really helped selling the theme of hope, something Rachel desperately starved for. Looking at that photo in her hands, and actually seeing an accurate reflection of her, not the hundred of Rachels that drift in and out of other people's lives, but the one that rests down at the bottom of that dark well. That warmth didn’t last long as the sharp claws of her anxieties encircled and pierce deep into her lungs making it hard for her to breath. Her hands begin to shake as she puts the photo into her bag alongside the other one. The weed sitting on top of the other drugs catches her attention. I CANNOT lose my shit in front of max…
Rachel looks down at Max, who had just looked down at the cold pavement of the parking lot signaling the fact that Rachel had won at their little game of flirting. She was about to gloat before Max looked back up at her with those big blue eyes of hers, reflecting the night sky back at her. It was as if those deep pools of blue were showing her a whole new universe of possibilities. The cold breeze rudely pulls her from her journey through the stars, allowing her to continue their conversation.
She looks towards the real star filled sky in an attempt to avoid the heat in her face breaking through the cold air. Try as she might, she really can’t get the image of those star filled eyes paired alongside the dusting of freckles out of her mind. If she could dream, could she truly have this girl, her very own personal walking observatory? Yeah, no I have to go before this becomes a problem. Classic Rachel Amber, Damnit! you CAN’T be catching feelings for her of all people it’s been a fucking DAY.
Those eyes are flashing through her mind again, though this time they only carry deep, dark, dread. She slams into her car door before she fumbles with her keys to unlock it. Rachel scrambles in turning the ignition before fully sitting in the seat. Her heart is pounding in her throat as she pulls out of the student parking lot, tearing her way down the road.
What in the FUCK was that!? She definitely should have known about Chloe by now, I made damn well sure of that. Not to mention she looked so…scared, and broken. It was as if she knew exactly how bad the situation is…something even I don’t know. Chloe…You better be alright…for the both of us.
The car is barely in park before she’s out and running through the junkyard, she quickly discovers the trail of blood leading away from a hole in the ground. Rachel’s stomach drops as her blood runs cold. The cold wind picks up in response as she slowly follows the crimson trail leading up to the shack.
Standing in the doorway of the falling apart structure she only finds Max, hopefully just passed out in a small pool of her own blood. Her heart rate spikes as her relief that it wasn’t Chloe's blood mixes bitterly with the image of the girl in front of her. She slowly walks further inside, Her attention dragged away from Max as out of the corner of her vision she spots Chloe’s name in a journal on the makeshift table.
She quickens her pace and crouches down, the page is filled with the punk's name, over and over, obscured by the message of “FIND HER” in scratchy bold print. What the…fuck?
She flips back through the journal feeling more and more sick to her stomach from just glancing at its contents. The blonde only stopped by the sudden appearance of a message scrawled and underlined over two pages halfway through the journal; No Hospitals
Rachel looks back over to the girl passed out next to her. She rubs her hand down her face before stopping over her mouth tapping a finger against her own lips in thought. To have made sure to put that in here means it’s probably important to follow…but what then? I’m sure as hell not dragging a bloody unconscious Max Caulfield through the dorms. That would invite way too many questions from way too many nosy people…not to mention the Madsen of it all.
With a sudden realization she lets out a long frustrated sigh. “Uggh, I know a place that will be empty for a while…fuck me, I really hope you’re worth it Starlight…”
Her eyes flutter once more as she looks down at the notebook in the warmth of her room. The front page; reading Time Powers Tutorial. Rachel twists in her chair to look back at the girl resting in her bed once more.
“Perhaps you will be…just who are you really, Max Caulfield?”
Notes:
Yeah ok this one was a little difficult to write, sorry rachel! but hey a whole chapter from her perspective! probably maybe not the last not sure, but there's a lot of important stuff shoved in this one lol. I think now would be a good place to show my hand a bit! so far the plan for this series is this:
Waterlogged- the one you're reading right now! mostly a retelling of the first game with all the twists of being a bizarre final timeline.
Off Script- a more slice of life work with angst/fluff and a light story following Amberfield through the first couple of years after finally leaving Arcadia Bay.
Currently unnamed Final Work- An attempt at re-writing/re-tooling Double Exposure in the world of this AU, wish me luck lol
Chapter 5: Cosmic Hangover? I Got Just the Thing
Summary:
Max finally wakes up, disoriented and confused, thankfully she has Rachel by her side to catch her up and help get through the day.
Notes:
TW// Brief mention of drug addiction, Mark Jefferson
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Freezing wind cuts through her as the cold rain seeps down into her bones. Max looks up as her vision finally returns to her and sees an enormous cloud overhead, a teal-blue aura thrashing about inside. The intense humming in her hand slowly spreads throughout her body, the same teal aura thrumming, barely visible just beneath her skin. The fire of the barn rages on as the glow of the cloud grows stronger, the humming in her body reaches its apex as suddenly three more bolts of crimson lighting shoot off in separate directions. In that moment the hum in her body becomes an intense heat, as she’s about to pass out she looks down to see someone barely hanging on to life in her lap, before she can break through the haziness to really look at them, the heat reaches her head where she’s struck by a sharp brain jolt and everything goes black.
She shoots up in bed drenched in a cold sweat, her head throbbing as she looks around, not recognizing where she is at all. Her face begins to tingle all over as the pace of her breathing picks up rapidly. Flashes of memory burn back into her mind, incomplete and without internal context.
Max grips at the blankets on top of her as she begins to hyperventilate. Darkness encircling the edges of her vision before a knock at the door shocks her back to reality momentarily. The door opens soon after as Rachel walks in with a plate of greasy food and a mug with a mysterious smelling liquid.
“Good afternoon Maxie, good to see you awake!” She closes the door with her foot and sets the plate and mug down on the bedside table before dragging over her desk chair to be right next to the bed. “Here, all this is for you. I’m gonna guess you’re rocking a pretty bad headache right now, and I definitely have plenty of experience dealing with those after a rough night.”
She looks down at the food then looks back up at Rachel as she picks up the plate and rests it on her lap sitting up against the headboard. “Oh…um thanks…Rachel” she brings the loaded piece of toast up for a bite as she looks around the room with a bit more attention. “I’m sorry, I’m still sort of…figuring out what’s going on, I’m guessing this is your room? Just not the one in the dorm…obviously.”
“Yup, It’s my family’s house, actually…It was the only place that I knew would be empty right now.” She itches at her arm as she nervously looks at her door.
“Oh…right, was that…a requirement for whatever’s happening right now?” Max finishes her toast quickly and moves onto the bacon.
She looks back to Max raising her eyebrow. “Yyyeah…I mean, hospitals are apparently not on the menu, and I was sure as hell not gonna drag your bleeding ass through the dorms…so yeah, empty family house it is.”
“Oh…right, yeah that makes sense I guess…” She takes a sip of the mystery drink, her face twisting in confused disgust. She looks towards Rachel, the question in her eyes. “Yeah, you don’t wanna know, just trust it’ll help you feel better.”
Rachel scooches the chair a little closer, resting her chin on her thumbs, the rest of her hands covering her lips as she stares at the weary girl with rapt attention. “So, Max, what exactly happened this morning? You kind of totally freaked me out back there, and that was before I found you passed out in your own blood.”
Max rubs at her eyes as she looks down to the empty plate on her lap. “I’m…not sure? I remember feeling like it was extremely important to find something at the junkyard…that feeling, I-it’s still frozen to my heart…” Her eyes go dim as her gaze fades away into nothing in front of Rachel.
The concerned girl by her side reaches to rest a hand on Max’s shoulder. “Hey, it’s ok, if you’re still having a hard time we could pick this up again later?” The dissociative girl blinks a few times then looks over to Rachel, the light back in her eyes as she gives a small smile.
“No, I’m fine, just got lost in my head a little. I feel like I remember having a really bad meltdown after not finding… whatever I was looking for…”
She rubs at the back of her neck, feeling slightly self conscious. “I’ve had black outs during meltdowns before, but it’s not super frequent, and I’ve never had…memory issues like this afterwards. So this is kinda…uncharted territory for me too unfortunately.”
Rachel pats at her shoulder lightly before standing up from her chair. Max starts to drop her hand from her neck, but just as the headache begins to fade she is suddenly well aware of the pain radiating from her arms. She hisses in response as she takes a good look at her arms for the first time, noticing the scars across both forearms resembling cracks. “Yeah I was wondering what those were all about…they look hella bad, are they…like lightning scars?”
“I…no? I don't think I've ever been struck by lightning before. I actually have no idea where these came from just that they hurt…like a constant throbbing.” Rachel sucks air through her teeth as she makes her way to the closet.
“Well we can figure out how to make that bearable later, for now why don’t you take a shower in the meantime. You’ve earned it…plus I think there’s still some dried blood in your hair. I’ll pick out some clothes while you’re in there and leave them on the bed, does that sound good?”
Rachel asks over her shoulder as she looks through whatever clothes she didn’t take with her to Blackwell.
Max gets out from under the sheets and makes her way to the door. “Yeah, that honestly sounds fantastic, I could definitely go for being blasted with the hottest water right about now, I feel…gross to under sell it a little.”
She catches the beginning of Rachel’s warm laugh as she closes the door. The smile on her face disappears as soon as she’s alone in a house that isn’t her own, but with a deep breath makes her way to the bathroom in the middle of the hall.
She immediately feels her muscles loosen as pink water begins to wash down her body, swirling its way down the drain. She lets out a long sigh that seems to take some of the toxin in her body along with it, as she begins to scrub her body with coastal pine scented body wash.
She scrubs her hair with the shampoo resting on the shelf in the wall, the smell of cedarwood hitting her nose. As she does she tries her best to parse through all of the clashing thoughts and memories littered throughout her head.
This is all so…bizzare, I feel like I should be way more freaked out, but this all seems…normal for some reason…Maybe Rachel can help me work through this…she seems really nice, I should have gotten to know her sooner. Dog who are you kidding Max…she’s literally the most popular girl in school, you would have never had the balls to approach her yourself.
Max re-enters the bedroom wrapped in a towel, only to freeze when she sees Rachel is still in there, sitting at her desk again. “O-oh, ummm, should I grab these and go change in the bathroom? Or…”
She glances over for a moment with a soft “Hm?” before looking back at the journal on the desk. “Nah, it’s totally fine you can just change behind me. I promise I won’t sneak a peak. She caps it off with crossing her heart and offering a wink.
Max’s already red cheeks spread, turning her entire face into a tomato, before she stiffly shuffles over to the bed and begins to change. Heat rises on the back of Rachel's neck as the sound of shuffling clothing begins to take place behind her, actually really trying her hardest not to take a peak right now.
She hears the sound of Max clearing her throat followed by a “Ok, I’m done.” before finally turning around to face the nervous brunette.
“Well how about that, looks like Rachel really does fit you Starlight” She says with a smile on her lips.
Max’s eyes go wide, as her mouth hangs open. “I-I-I…don’t know how to respond to that…actually.” Rachel blinks a few times as she works her own way through what she just said.
She swallows, feeling the sudden need for a glass of water. “Let’s just forget that and move on. So, I should probably explain my perspective on things next, see how that helps you and then move on from there, how does that sound?”
She swivels in her chair back and forth working through her thoughts as she sighs. “Sooo…Yesterday I sort of noticed you were acting…a bit off. I decided to stick with you because of that, and honestly I ended up having a good time…but I still had that feeling in the back of my mind.
She itches at her arm again as she looks back towards Max. “But, I don’t know…I don’t feel it anymore when I’m talking to you now, It’s…weird. I…should probably also be upfront with you at this point since we made a pact to be partners. I was initially just using you to try to get info on Chloe…” she says with a wince.
Max sits on the edge of the bed looking down to her lap. “Oh…well in fairness, I…think I was doing the same? I can’t…figure out what I was after…but I know I wanted something out of talking with you, so…sorry too I guess.”
“Yeah…I guess neither of us were fair to each other yesterday, but maybe this is our chance to fix that, start over fresh. What do you say?”
“Sure, that sounds…that sounds great Rachel…Partners in Crime, this time for real?” Max holds out her fist.
Rachel looks at the journal in her lap, before looking up to Max and meets her fist with her own. “This time for real, Partners in Time.”
Max looks at her with an expression of confusion. “Oh! Right, you should read this, it’ll help you catch up a little.” Rachel hands over the journal, and Max takes it cautiously, flipping it open to the first page with the explanation of her supposed time travel abilities.
She gently closes the journal, still keeping her eyes locked on the book intently. “Ummm…that was…a-alot. I do sort of remember writing this but I mean…I just…I-i”
Rachel looks at her with a compassionate expression. “It’s a lot?”
“Y-yeah…” She looks at her right hand feeling a subtle hum pulsing underneath her skin. “S-so you…like, trust what’s in this journal…you believe it?”
Rachel gets up to sit with Max on the bed, laying her arm over her shoulder. “Well it certainly explains a few things I found odd about you yesterday at least…like no offense but you did seem a little more confident.”
Max sighs as she rests her head on Rachel's shoulder. “That sounds nice…kinda wish that hadn’t disappeared with pieces of my memory…I could definitely use more confidence.” Rachel chuckles as she pats Max’s back lightly. “You’ll get there eventually…she clearly did, even if it did make her seem…distant.”
“I think anyone would be more distant after coming out of all that alive…”
“True, I can’t imagine living a week that awful over and over again…” Max notices Rachel's grip tightens over her shoulder. “How are you feeling?…some of the stuff in here…for you it must have felt awful to read about.”
She sighs, sounding clearly exhausted. “I’m- I’m still unpacking all of it…not everyday do you learn that you’re dead in almost every other timeline…”
“Yeah…that’s fair…but hey umm, you’re here, so obviously…you’re doing something right?” Rachel lets out a dry chuckle as she looks down at Max, then rests her own head against Max’s. “Well I guess I can’t argue against that logic Starlight…thanks”
Max reaches her arm over Rachel's shoulder finally completing the side hug. “No problem Rachel, and thanks for helping add some color to the gray parts of my memories…”
She lets out a soft hum before responding. “Of course Max, it’s like the least I can do.”
Max detangles herself and scoots further onto the bed sitting cross-legged, Rachel follows her lead so they can face each other. “So, I was thinking we should um…try to figure out what our next steps are? Some of the stuff in this journal that's…uhhh supposed to happen…or have happened and could Happen…here?…sounds really bad, and I’d ideally like for them…to not happen…dog I said happen a lot in that sentence…”
Rachel giggles a little before sitting up straight. “You definitely did but that’s fine, and I totally agree! I always thought some weird shit was happening behind the curtain in this town, and if Chloe’s at the center of all this, but not buried in the junkyard like I was in other…timelines, then we might just actually find her!…and hope that in doing that we can get what we need to push back the darkness of this place and protect everyone…worth protecting.”
Max looks at Rachel with wide eyes, her jaw left open. “Y-yeah that um…yeah that sounds like a plan.”
She gives Max a wide grin as she grabs the journal. “I’m glad you agree! So about your…powers? I guess we can call them.” The super powered girl looks down at her hand, the thrumming still subtly present. “If everything the…other max said about your powers in the journal are correct then we should be totally way more careful with how we use them.”
She leans back resting on her hands. “As much as I would love to go crazy with them, for all kinds of fun, we know for a fact that it hurts you physically to use them too much. Sooo they should only be used sparingly and strategically.”
She looks max right in the eyes, her brows furrowing. “No using them for easy conversations, or to get people to like us and do what we need them to, that’s what I’m here for anyways. You have the power of Rachel Amber in your hands, no need to rip reality apart.
She proudly rests her hands on her hips as Max giggles, nodding her head in agreement. “Thankfully because of this journal, helpfully provided by our previous body snatcher Max, we won’t have to blow up your brain to figure out your powers! We’ll just have to do some light training to make sure you’re used to them, simple as practicing your lines for the play!”
Max snickers into her fist as she shakes her head. “As long as I don’t have to be in an actual play, I’m down.” Rachel glances at her with a small smile. “I don’t know Starlight, help you out with your confidence a little and I could see you absolutely tearing up the stage…”
“Yeah, just gotta push through my crippling anxiety and I’ll be standing up there with the greats.” She says with a dry chuckle.
Rachel looks down with a lopsided empathetic smile. “Yeah, maybe that’s more of a long term future goal…but we could get there…” The last implied word hangs in the air as Max’s eyebrows slowly rise. “O-oh, heh…uh, yeah that sounds…good.”
Max rubs at her left elbow as she struggles to reconnect eye contact with the girl in front of her. “By the way…I-I um wanted to…to thank you…for being with me for this. I just know I would have been…terrified if I was handling this a-alone…”
Rachel scooches closer on the bed, grabbing both of Max’s hands and holding them between the both of them. “I-I know…I can be difficult to handle, what with my barely functioning brain and all…and that’s not even factoring in the whole ghosting my best friend and your…um ex-girlfriend? Thing.”
She squeezes the anxious girl’s hands rubbing at her knuckles with her thumb. “Hey, hey listen, you are not difficult to deal with! So what if you think or act a little differently? Lord knows my brain is a total typhoon compared to other people, but I make it work for me, and people can either work with that or get the fuck out of my way.”
Flashes of a young girl with dirty blonde hair wash over her, a difficult child always being pushed away, sitting on the curb crying alone.
Rachel instinctually finds herself wrapping her arms around the other girl resting her chin on her shoulder so she can still hear her. “I happen to actually like this girl, and I take no shit from anyone so don’t worry your little head over that sort of thing…as for Chloe, I can’t say I’ll ever understand what happened between you two, but I promise I’m not angry nor do I blame you for anything…I have no place to judge that’s for sure…”
Max’s hands clench at the fabric of Rachel's back as she tries her hardest not to start crying onto her shirt. “I…now I really don’t know what to say…I’m really glad the universe decided to bring us together, even through such…bizzare c-circumstances…I think I could really use a friend like you…”
Rachel's ears go red as Max speaks into her neck, she barely catches any of what she says, her brain only focussing on the vague romantic destiny of it all. Oh I am SO fucked with this girl…how can someone be this cute…ohhh man I need to get it together, she’s literally trying not to cry. You need to focus in Amber, see she just said friend, that’s what this is, friendship so chill.
Both girls are shocked into still silence as the sound of the door opening, followed by the voice of an older man reaches their ears. “Rachel, are you home? If so, I think we should talk.”
Rachel quickly pushes Max to arms length still grasping at her shoulders as she looks her in the eyes, fear clear in her hazel ones. “...shit!” She tries to quickly slide off the bed but before her feet can touch the floor, the door to her bedroom swings open to reveal a middle aged man with slicked back dark brown hair and a stern face.
“What are you doing h- wha, who is this Rachel?” His eyes dart towards the deer in the headlights still sitting in the middle of Rachel’s bed.
“She’s…she’s just a friend from school…” Rachel completes the motion standing up from her bed and facing her father directly.
“I’m surprised to hear you have friends at that school.”
She crosses her arms as her expression curls into a glare. “Chloe was not my only friend, Dad.”
“With how you’ve been acting these past few months I would be surprised if that was actually the case.” He crosses his arms as well, his expression much colder and hard to read.
Her hands clench, the nails digging into her biceps. “My friends have actually been very understanding, and Max is new to the school, so clearly I can still both make and maintain friendships, thank you very much!”
“Color me impressed. That’s all unimportant laid before the fact that you’re here skipping school again. I thought we discussed that this year has to be different Rachel.” He looks down at the two girls, blocking the doorframe as his brows furrow almost imperceptively.
She throws her head back with a groan before looking back at him with an even deeper frown. “Uggh you can’t be serious I’ve only missed my first few classes today, ones that I’ve been doing great in need I remind you, and it was for an emergency, so I beg of you to please get off my back!”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Emergency…Rachel you can’t keep using these same excuse-”
“Um…a-actually…Mr. Amber, she’s being honest about there being an emergency.” They both look over at the shy girl as she slides off the bed to stand next to Rachel, grabbing her hand.
“Um…so I-I’m a part of the school’s IEP…and, um, after a conversation with Principle Wells Rachel was assigned as my…s-school buddy.”
The brunette rubs at her elbow nervously. “It was actually something they had at my old school, so I thought having it again would…h-help me acclimate to this school since it’s so different. Uh anyways…I had a pretty bad meltdown in my room after coming back from breakfast. I must have blacked out, which is pretty rare, and Rachel must have checked on me since my door was unlocked. When I came to, Rachel brought me out f-for some fresh air, we ended up here a-and talked it out and decided that she would help me calm down and we’d head back after l-lunch period ends…”
James stands there in slight shock for a moment before looking at Rachel, clearing his throat before he speaks. “Is this true Rachel?”
She grips Max’s hand a little tighter, swinging their arms slightly. “Yup! I was just looking out for my partner, that’s all.” she says with a bright smile.
He squints his eyes at them, his arms finally unfolding. “I…see, well I hope you talked to at least one staff member at the school before wandering of-” his point is abruptly cut off as the sound of the door opening once again catches all of their attention.
“James dear! Could you come down and help with the groceries!?” He turns around for a moment, looks back at the two girls, then calls down. “Coming dear!” and makes his way downstairs.
Max lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding as she falls back into the chair.
“Woah! Hey Max are you alright?” Rachel crouches down and rests her hand on her knee.
“Oh yeah you know, Lying to a friend's dad r-right to their face is just a total social anxiety apocalypse…”
Rachel lets out a short laugh while she pats Max’s knee. “Well you did a hella amazing job regardless, I didn’t know you can pull out something like that!”
“Well…I just remembered what they always say; the best lies hold some truth, we did actually have a buddy program at my old school…it’s actually how I became friends with Kristen and by extension Fernando.”
Rachel stands back up offering a hand to Max. “Huh, I can see why you’d be fond of them now, it probably felt a little like they saved you…”
She takes the other girl’s hand and stands up still holding it as they walk to the door. “Y-yeah…uhh, something like that…helps that they were also cool with the whole…t-trans thing.”
As Rachel opens the door she glances back at her. “Well I would hope so, that would be a hella ridiculous thing to get hung up on, again Max bare minimum, we gotta raise your standards a little girl.” She gives Max a soft smile as she raises both her eyebrows leading them out of her room.
As they reach the first floor, Mrs. Amber catches their attention waving them over with a gentle smile. “Ah there you are girls, I was thinking, since you were planning on heading back to school after lunch anyways why don’t we have something here? my treat.”
Max awkwardly looks at Rachel, an anxious question in her eyes. “Uh-ummm?”
The regretful daughter acquiesces with a strained smile seeing no other recourse. “Sure that sounds great Mom.” When Rose looks away Rachel sighs with a shrug when she locks eyes with Max.
Which is how Max and Rachel find themselves awkwardly sitting at the dining table, eating some sort of fancy rendition of a club sandwich. Max nibbles away at hers as she anxiously watches whilst curt, impersonal conversation takes place at the table. Mrs. Amber seems nice enough, even though her input always comes across as simply surface level.
She much more appreciates that in comparison to the piercing questions Mr. Amber brings to the table. Max is left feeling like a few years of her life were shaved off just from this lunch alone because of him.
Rachel clearly picks up on this because, as soon as the both of them finish eating she quickly grabs Max’s hand and begins to lead them back up to her room. “Thanks for the food mom! I gotta get ready to take the both of us back, I’ll text you when we get there!”
And with that she slams her door, sliding down against it half way. “Ugh, I am so sorry you had to go through that. Let’s just get our bags and the journal and get the fuck out of here.”
“S-sure thing.” Max grabs her journal and stuffs it in her messenger bag, quickly fixes her hair in the mirror tying it up in a half ponytail, so she doesn’t have to feel it on her neck so much. I’ll have to get it trimmed, guess time travel messes with hair…werid.
They’re quickly out the front door without another word, getting into Rachel's modest blue Nissan Sentra. As soon as Max puts on her seatbelt they both let out a sigh at the same time, before giggling together as Rachel pulls out of the driveway.
“Um…is-is it always that tense?” Max looks over as she continuously re-adjusts the seat belt.
“Yes, unfortunately.” Rachel sighs again as her grip tightens on the wheel. “A couple years ago, not that long after I got…close with Chloe, we discovered together that my dad was hiding my birth mother from me…”
Max has a double take as her eyes widen to saucers. “Jesus, a-are you cereal?...that’s so…fucked.” Rachel chuckles at Max’s vocab habit before continuing.
“That’s putting it lightly, turns out she used to be… a bit of an addict shortly after I was born.” She picks at the skin around her nail again, knowing in her head; like mother like fucking daughter apparently. “She actually agreed to stay away for awhile, just taking money while she tried to get better.” She takes a sharp breath through her nose clicking her tongue shortly after.
“That’d be one thing, I’d sort of understand keeping that from me…even though I think I was well old enough to handle that information…but no turns out she had gotten better. She was clean for two whole years by that point, and wanted to see me.”
Max quietly reaches over to rest a hand on top of Rachel's, She only acknowledges the contact with a small brittle smile.
“Guess that wasn’t enough for James though. Paranoid, overprotective asshole strong-armed some local drug dealers into hounding her, by holding their arrests over their heads, trying to get my mom to break, and…back off. It totally fucking backfired ‘cause of course it did…I swear he’s so short sided for a man with so much influence…” She turns her hand over lacing their fingers together as she grips tightly.
“He…almost inadvertently got my mother killed, Chloe twice! I mean after that…how could I…how could I still see that man as my father! Thank god they both survived, my mom got drugged against her will and it almost convinced her to give up, but thankfully I reached her and Chloe in time…We still text at least, but I’d love for it to be more…someday.”
“Dog Rachel…that’s just…well, fucking insane…I’m…so damn sorry” Rachel chuckles darkly.
“Yeah, guess that’s what I get for wanting my life to be like the plays…the sweeping romance comes packaged with deadly drama…” Max copies her from earlier rubbing her thumb against one of Rachel's fingers.
“It’s not quite so…Shakspearian but I can sort of relate…” Rachel takes a moment to glance at the girl in her passenger seat. “Yeah?”
“When I…w-when I c-came out things got…pretty cold too. My dad, well he tried his best at least…but I could tell it was mostly just surface level pleasing. My mom on the other hand…She acts like a proud Mother of a Transgender kid for others to see. In private however, it’s…so fucking obvious she liked her “Mommas boy” way better than her…freak daughter…”
Rachel's brows furrow and suddenly she pulls the car to the side of the road and puts it in park. “Um…Rach-”
Suddenly the teary eyed girl is enveloped in another warm hug, this one a bit tighter and packed with feeling.
Rachel clenches the fabric at the back of Max’s shirt as she nuzzles a bit deeper into the crook of her neck, feeling a messy whirlwind of emotion. Bared raw from her own past, soft from being able to be this open again, deeply gutted at hearing Max refer to herself as a freak, and warmth, in that she can at least be there for her like she’s been craving for herself for months.
“You don’t deserve to be made to feel like that about yourself…You are a kind, talented, and beautiful woman Max Caulfield, something I could tell just from seeing you in the halls and being your friend for barely a day. If you’ll be there for me I promise I’ll be here too, just to keep reminding you of that fact…deal?”
That was enough for Max, her shoulder began to shake as she finally let the tears fall, the silence concerning Rachel. “Max? Shit uh…are you ok? I didn’t say anything wrong did I? I’m sorry I probably have total blind spots when it comes to this. Ummm fuck I’m totally rambling.”
Her crying mixes with a light wet giggle as she squeezes Rachel a little tighter. “No, Rachel…y-you’re totally fine, I j-just really needed to hear that…Thank you, and yes I promise to stick by your side to the exact same capacity, down to the very last well needed tears between us. How could I not when you’ve been my sunshine parting the clouds for me the past few days.”
Rachel can feel the heat reach all the way up to her ears as she pulls away suddenly, quickly putting the car back into drive and bringing it onto the road again. She clears her throat as she rolls down the window to try her best to cool down. “I’m g-glad to hear it Starlight, now let's get our asses back to school, before we find them in even bigger trouble.”
The rest of the day passes in mostly a blur to Max, right up until she has to walk through the door to Photography. Knowing the Macabre secret of the man sitting at his desk and the over-exposed memories of the day before of her puppeted outburst mixes poorly in her stomach causing pins and needles to crawl all over her skin. She darts to her desk and avoids any and all eye contact.
She can tell she won’t be so lucky, when in the brief moment she glances up from her desk she sees him eyeing her with that classic teacher look that screams “we’ll talk later.” The cornered girl can’t help but mutter a single ”fuck” under her breath.
She glances to her left and has to do a subtle double take with just her eyes when she catches Victoria staring right at her with what seems like a…pensive? Expression. Those piercing blue green eyes refuse to look away, so Max readily elects to break contact as she pulls out her textbook and journal.
Shit, wait other max used up the rest of my journal, no notes for you today Max…knew I should’ve gotten two… She slides the notebook back in her bag and opens the textbook with a soft sigh, trying her best to look like a model student, and not like she’s about to have an extreme panic attack right now.
The bell finally rings, and Max begins to put her belongings back in her bag when she feels the presence of someone standing next to her. Her heart rate spikes as her blood runs cold. By the time she breaks through her frozen joints to turn around, no one’s there, she looks around only to see Jefferson at his desk eyeing her and Victoria quickly but robotically exiting the room.
She audibly gulps as the man stands from his desk and walks over to lean against the table in front of her. “So…I’m sure you know why I wanted to speak with you after class?” It feels like her stomach has been carved open as she slowly looks up at him, only able to see the morbid viciousness behind his expression now, the look of a true predator.
“I-it’s about yesterday, right? Honestly Mr. J-Jefferson, I a-am SO sorry about that, I-I shouldn’t…have…s-snapped like that. I j-just got over stimulated and took it out on everyone else…and f-for that I’m…” The last half gets stuck in her throat, as the words in her journal run through her head, painting an awful picture in the back of her mind, before she can finally force it out, keeping the bile from leaving her throat along with it. “S-s-sorry.”
He stares down at her for a moment barely letting the shock from her abrupt change of tune show on his face, as he stands up putting his hands in his pockets. “Oh…well, I’m glad you understand the issue and are willing to apologize. That’s all I needed Max, oh! But I would still like to see a photo from you for the everyday hero’s contest, you hear?”
He walks towards his desk abruptly as Max slings her bag over her shoulder, making a break for it before she floods the room with her cold sweat. “Y-yeah, Yup! You got it Mr. Jefferson. I’ll get it in asap I promise!”
A couple students are spooked as the resident hipster girl of Blackwell smacks her head against her own locker, groaning out an exhausted sigh. They shake their heads, assuming she’s just stressed from classes and walk away.
I have no idea where Victoria ran off too, or why she stared at me every chance she got in class, but…fuck we really have to find a way to pin this guy. Even though we’re missing like half the available evidence, because everything’s so…apparently different here…I can’t believe my high school life turned into a murder mystery, fuck my senior year I guess.
She pulls her head up and lightly smacks both her cheeks with each hand, and takes a deep breath. Alright Max Caulfield time to focus! I should find Rachel so we can figure out what our next immediate move is! before she can turn around, a sudden voice makes her jump back mid spin, slamming herself against the lockers.
“There you are Maxie!”
“WoaGH! Geez! Damn Rachel, you scared the shit out of me…”
She snickers as she leans against the lockers next to her. “Sorry, sorry I didn’t realize you hadn’t heard me coming, were you deep in thought or something?”
After checking her own heart to see if it was still beating Max looks up to her, immediately if not shyly meeting her hazel eyed gaze. “Uhh…um y-yeah I was actually just thinking about finding you so we can talk out our next move…after being in the same class room as…him I kinda would like to have something…solid figured out…”
Rachel's eyes widen as concern pools in to mix with her golden forest green. She quickly envelopes Max into another hug, rubbing at her back. “Fuck, right you’re in photography. Shit I’m sorry Max…no one deserves to be stuck in a room with that freak…you know we can always come up with an excuse to help you stay clear of that room…at least till we lock that fucker behind bars ourselves…” her voice goes cold at the end which unfortunately tampers the mood her warm embrace had just brought.
Nevertheless Max returns the hug and nods into Rachel’s shoulder. “Right, you wanna head to my room? We can talk shop there and it’s less likely that someone will try to bother us.”
Rachel breaks away from the hug, shifting to lock arms with Max as she grins at her. “Sounds like a plan Starlight, but first let’s get pizza and chill for a bit maybe? Today has stressed me the fuck out and I need a little time to unwind.”
Their laughter echoes through the stairwell as Max pushes open the door to the girl’s floor. They playfully nudge at each other as their laughter dies down, but before it can turn into full on playful shoving they both look up at the same time to see Victoria Chase standing in front of Max’s room.
She paces in front of the door looking uncharacteristically anxious, biting at her nails before she spins to see the two of them staring at her. She quickly dropped her hand, crossing her arms in a move that would usually look intimidating if not for her awkward posture and twisted brow.
She takes a deep breath before locking eyes with Max. “Caulfield…we need to talk.”
Notes:
Can't help but always picture Rachel as the fall first type, she feels strongly and quickly, it's hard to fight it. Max on the other hand, I mean look at her friendship with Chloe, I don't think this girl has the strongest grasp on the admittedly small differences between a really good friend and romantic interest. I kept the allusions to Before the Storm brief cause i didn't want to reallly get into, but there are some subtle differences. Mostly to make it a little more grounded, and with a more positive outcome, since this timeline is already on a little bit better of a foot. and hey! Victoria teaser! I'm sure next chapter will be fun! :)
Rainboq on Chapter 1 Mon 21 Jul 2025 08:21PM UTC
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ValKensaki on Chapter 3 Wed 06 Aug 2025 09:14AM UTC
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RamonaStarlight on Chapter 3 Sat 09 Aug 2025 09:21PM UTC
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