Chapter Text
The blaring horn jolted Neul from her nap.
With her heart incessantly pounding against her ribcage, it takes some effort to blink away the colors and the coldness from her dream. Why did she have that dream now? And actually, she had gone through that ordeal multiple times already, so why does it still affect her? Why couldn’t she just co--
A three-note chime from the overhead intercom interrupted her thoughts, announcing that they were mere moments away from docking. Right. She’s on the ferry to that island. She’s on a vacation. And this trip is supposed to help her with those kinds of thoughts. Was it a bad omen, then? Neul certainly hoped not.
Now that her breathing had evened out after some exercises, she took stock of her surroundings. Neul rubbed her fingers on the blue velvet of the seat--the four to her right are as empty as they were before she fell into her slumber. Fluffy white clouds hovered over the pristine blue of the ocean outside the window. The weather here looks nice, kind. She then patted her denim jacket’s pockets to check her phone and wallet, and probed the personal bag resting on her side for good measure.
She opened her phone to check the time, but it had already run out of juice. She already knew that it might not make it through the ferry ride, but she figured there was no harm in checking. Who knows? Some deity could have pitied her while she was off struggling in dreamland, but oh, well.
Admittedly, leaving her power bank was an expected consequence of changing her schedule at the last possible minute. Neul wanted to set the tone for her trip properly, though. Grant herself from grace. She’d been hopping from whirlwind to whirlwind today (and for the past few months, if she were completely honest), after all.
With no way to check the time, she tried to catch a glimpse of the phone screen of the person sitting in front of her. They’re right on schedule. With this information, her priorities shifted to dinner. As if on cue, her stomach grumbled, prompting her to drink a bit from her water bottle to tide her hunger for the time being. They were almost there anyway. Hopefully, she’d be able to enjoy her first meal on the island. The first meal of her new life.
New life, huh?
She huffed in disbelief at the silly thought. Indeed, a new life would be great. But perhaps, she should start small for now, with the new scenery and new thoughts.
✧✧✧
Noticing that there were still quite a lot of people wandering around the pier, Neul decided that it's probably safe to stroll around by herself. She also had to walk off the massive ramyeon bowl she had for dinner, and maybe, just maybe, she could make it to the island's town center.
Neul forgot to charge her phone in the haze of her hunger, but asking the nice lady at the counter for directions gave her some confidence, albeit unwarranted, that she'll be able to make it to the guesthouse regardless. Surely, she wouldn’t miss it. It seemed like a straightforward trek from the pier, if she recalled the map she checked yesterday correctly. Plus, it was right beside the town's fountain plaza and other landmark shops.
The lady also told her that she can get there in around thirty minutes and something in the atmosphere pushed Neul to try new things, like walking. A lot. She also just missed the last bus. It’s yet another outcome of her snap decision, but again, she’s not allowed to have those thoughts, if she could help it.
Five out of the expected thirty minutes into her walk, regret began to bloom in her mind…and on her back. Though she had indeed packed light, her back radiated a mild pain, and her shoulders were also beginning to stiffen. Truly, sitting was the new smoking. She had also hoped to stay warm from all the moving around, but the evening summer wind was harsher than expected.
The newly risen moon shone brightly on the landscape ahead of her, highlighting the absence of any bus stop where she can rest for a while. Right before she was about to slump on the grass, headlights slowed down to a stop on her left side. Her heartbeat thundered in her chest. With a silent prayer that it's not some creep, Neul mustered enough courage to put up a brave front when--
"Hey there," --the stranger's bright voice beat her to the punch.
Shoulders deflating from relief, Neul gave her full attention to the girl on the scooter wearing a green helmet. "Yes?" she said with a tight neutral smile, eyebrows raised in just the slightest of anticipations. This stranger could very well be her guardian angel, after all.
For a few seconds, only the croaks of the critters in the nearby rice paddy could be heard. “I was just wondering if…” the stranger audibly gulped, “you need help?” She sounded doubtful. Like she was second guessing her decision to stop.
Confused by the change from her initial preppy tone but ultimately concluding that she didn't mean any harm, Neul wanted to soothe the unease that marred the girl's gentle features. "Actually, yes. I think I need help," she responded with a genuine tone. "Would you happen to know where the Park Summer Guesthouse is? It's near a coffee shop at the town center, I think."
Before the words had even completely left her mouth, Neul felt a bit deceitful since she technically knows where it is. She just wasn't sure if she could get there without breaking her back or freezing to death. Should she just try to walk to the center again? Maybe she can do it after resting for a while. But in the first place, why did she have to get tired easily after a few minutes? Why couldn't she just do things on her o--
"OH!" The stranger's loud exclamation startled Neul from her internal monologue. Her lips formed a comically perfect 'o' and her eyebrows retreated into her helmet. Giving Neul no time to express her amusement at the expression, the girl continued. "I'm actually headed to that cafe right now! Do you wanna come with me?" She pursed her lips, awaiting a response from Neul, whose back begged her not to think twice about the offer.
"Well, if it's OK with you, then yes please." She briefly looked into the other's gaze, illuminated by the lone street lamp on the other side of the road. Her eyes followed the stranger as she kicked her stand and went around her scooter. Those eyelashes must be long enough to hold a toothpick, Neul noticed when the girl was blinking around her storage box, muttering to herself.
"This one is yours," she fished out a yellow helmet and handed it to Neul. "I'm Sung Bitna by the way. I think you're Gunwookie's guest?" she asked while she took Neul's bag and put it inside the box. "That should be more comfortable," she nodded, pleased with her actions, and abruptly turned back to Neul.
The movement snapped her out of her trance, and she voiced out her gratitude before answering. "Yes, I am Park Gunwook-ssi's guest a--" did she just giggle? "and my name is Jang Haneul. Nice to meet you, Sung Bitna-ssi. You're my savior tonight." Neul added the admiration as an afterthought, feeling like the initial apprehension on both ends had completely dissipated into the evening breeze.
Sung Bitna briefly giggled again before asking, "How old are you, Jang Haneul-ssi?"
Puzzled but amused at all the giggling coming from this very adult (and very cute) girl, Neul humored her. "I'm an 00-liner so I'm 26 this year." She answered with her Korean age, feeling no need to inform the girl about her upcoming birthday.
Sung Bitna launched into what Neul assumed to be her signature look of surprise. "You're my unnie then," she punctuated with a toothy smile. Neul could not find it in her to take offense at the forwardness. In fact, this was more her style, she found herself thinking when the girl suddenly pointed upwards behind her. "Look, Haneul-unnie, it's us," she declared before promptly dissolving into another giggling fit.
It was quite the stretch, but Neul realized what she meant as she turned to the evening sky while finally putting on the yellow helmet. Shining in stark contrast to the inky blue evening sky were the smattering of brilliant white stars. Night has well and truly fallen, Neul lamented when another thought occurred to her. "Wait, how old are you Sung Bitna-ssi?" she turned to the girl who now had a hand over her mouth.
"Ah, I'm 01, unnie. Just a year younger than you." She seemed as if she wanted to add something but ultimately elected not to. "Are you good to go?" she asked Neul instead. Neul nodded enthusiastically and got on the scooter behind the other.
"Uhm," Sung Bitna began as she gave the handlebars a cursory twist. "Please feel free to hug me or hold my shoulder." When Neul whispered her thanks, Sung Bitna finally kicked the stand off and added, "And please call me Bin, unnie."
✧✧✧
Though the ride was quick, Neul's teeth chattered from the chilly evening wind. The ocean breeze, although they are now a ways from the shore, is no joke. It could even be colder during the summer. Bin was cruising at a normal speed, Neul could tell, but still, the wind assaulted them like it had places to be. Thankfully, they arrived at their destination sooner rather than later. While Neul was taking in the new surroundings--the white marble fountain, the cobblestone streets, the lush landscaping, the brick walls of the buildings--a voice called her attention.
"Unnie, use my arm." Bin's left arm was now extended parallel to the ground when Neul turned back to the girl. Guessing that it was to help her balance while getting off the scooter, Neul grabbed it as she swung her other leg off the bike. Bin then spun to her and helped her remove her helmet wordlessly, before getting off and jogging to the box to take Neul's bag out of it. She then marched to the white brick building next to them with the bag in tow, and pressed the doorbell to the right of a huge wooden door.
There was no response after a minute. Bin took her phone out of the lower right pocket of her cargo pants, smiling at Neul reassuringly as she tapped away at her phone. A few seconds later, the door finally opened to a tall boy with eyebrows as thick as the black frame of his glasses.
"Noona! I'm sorry I was finishing homework," the boy sputtered.
"Yeah, yeah," Bin waved him off with a smirk. "Your guest is here, by the way. You didn't offer to pick her up from the pier, Wookie?" Bin calmly inquired, but it might as well have been an interrogation, with the way the boy's lips quivered, trembling eyes now trained at Neul, no doubt trying to make sense of the situation.
"Ma'am, I'm so sorry," he finally managed. “I seem to have forgotten that you were arriving tomorrow?" Clearly flustered, the boy patted down his pockets in search of an absent phone to support his claim.
Neul wanted to quickly end the boy's misery. She glanced at Bin's expression before responding. "Oh, no worries, it's actually my fault. I only remembered to inform you of the adjustment when I was already on the ferry and I wasn't sure if the message went through. My phone was dead when I woke up, but I decided to try my luck anyway." She looked at both of them with a sheepish grin, but it thankfully seemed like neither was upset at her.
The young man, who she assumed is the Park Gunwook she had contacted, heaved a huge sigh of relief and immediately reassured her that it was fine. With her full attention now on Neul, Bin bobbed her head in understanding. "Well then unnie, rest assured you can rely on our Wookie here." She ruffled the tall boy's hair without looking at him.
"Yes, I'm Park Gunwook, Ma’am. It's nice to meet you in person."
"Just let him know if you need anything," Bin added as she put away the yellow helmet after finally handing Neul her bag.
Neul nodded and exchanged smiles with the girl. "Thank you so much. I'll see you around, Bin."
"I'll see you too! Good night, and rest well!" The girl then went back to her scooter and waved once before driving off in the direction of the cafe across the fountain.
✧✧✧
Neul took in the interior of the house: the wooden floors, the white walls checkered with paintings and photos of the island, the inviting blue couch… It was all much cozier than the photos she saw. Much warmer.
“Haneul-ssi,” Gunwook called her attention. “You must be tired. Please follow me.”
It was adorable how the gigantic bear cub of a boy was acting so stiff and formal around her, so Neul addressed him. “You can call me Neul or noona.” The boy turned around, surprise evident on his features. “Oh, only if you want to. We’ll be seeing each other a lot for a whole month, and I don’t mind at all.”
Gunwook beamed at this. “Alright, noona. Please address me casually, as well. Wookie is fine. That’s what Bin-noona calls me.” He then held out his hand, waiting for Neul to give him her bag.
“Oh no need, thank you! It’s only a light backpack anyway.” A pang briefly flashed on her lower back at her own words. “That reminds me, Bin is from around here, right?”
The boy grinned at her and began walking towards the stairs. “Yeah, she is. Our families have been around here forever. Don’t worry, you really will be seeing her around.” Neul was caught off guard for a moment, but chose to say nothing. They eventually arrived at her room. It was the spacious attic of the rustic two-storey home.
“This is you, noona.” Gunwook pushed the door open and silver light slipped out the crack immediately. “Good thing I started cleaning it out when I got your message yesterday. I think I only need to get your towels and toiletries?”
He checked on Neul as if to gauge her reaction, but she was transfixed by the moonlit scenery from the huge window. There were rows upon rows of colorful roofs, behind which spread what seemed like pine trees. They were a bit far, but Neul could almost hear the wind flitting through them as it made its way to the gentle dark green slopes that lay beyond. All of these were under the clear night sky. She saw the stars earlier, but it only occurred to her that this was a view she would never see from her city apartment.
“Noona…”
“No, yeah I was listening,” she faced the boy. “I’m really sorry again for not telling you that I was arriving today.”
“It’s fine. Things worked out anyway. I’m just glad you made it here. Good thing Bin-noona was able to find you.”
Neul paused, turning over the boy’s words in her head before responding. “Yeah, me too. I was just gonna keep walking to the town center from the pier if she hadn’t offered me a ride.”
“Oh you must have missed the bus!”
“Unfortunately,” Neul sighed.
Gunwook then made his way towards the door. “Alright, make yourself comfortable, noona. I’ll go grab your sheets and stuff for you.”
“OK, thank you.”
After taking a hot shower, Neul sat on the bed with the fresh sheets Gunwook put on for her (”no, you’re my guest noona so just let me do it”). Her hair was almost dry. Her phone, which she plugged in the moment Gunwook left the room, was on the nightstand to her right. She opened her messages and shot her mom and friends a quick update. She also texted her boss and let him know that she had made it safely to the guesthouse. He was the first person to know about Neul’s sudden change in plans. He was in the room when she decided, after all, and he had encouraged her. Moments later, her phone rang.
“Good evening, Sir. Did something happen?”
“Everything’s fine, Neul,” the low-pitched voice responded right away. “I’m just reminding you that for the following month, I won’t be your boss so I don’t want to hear, or read, any ‘Sir’s from you, OK?”
A soft laugh escaped her lips. “Alright, oppa. I’ll try my best.”
The voice also briefly laughed before adding, “Oh Neul, take care of yourself there, hmm? And don’t think of work. Focus on enjoying your vacation. I know just how hard you’ve worked to earn this.”
“And why should I listen to you? You’re not my boss.”
Snickers were heard on either side of the call before Jiwoong cleared his throat. “Neul, I'm serious.”
Neul sighed out loud. “I know. I also want to enjoy this. I actually haven’t thought of work the whole time since I got here. It was actually you who reminded me of work, if anything.” She couldn’t help but tease the other man.
“I’m sorry," the other replied, tone much softer now. “Just…I’m your friend before I’m your boss. I hope you know that.”
“I do. And I’m so grateful for you. I hope you know that, too.”
“Anything for my favorite underling.” This time, it was Jiwoong who laughed first.
“Yah! I’ll tell Taerae you said that!” Neul managed in between snickers.
“Alright, I know you’re tired from all the travelling so I’ll let you rest now. Good night, Neul.”
“Good night, oppa. Talk to you later.”
It was true, what she said to Jiwoong. All of it. She was determined to unwind and relax her mind in the next few weeks. Her goal was crystal clear, and she had more than enough time to leisurely work towards it.
She also hadn’t thought of work for all the hours she had been on the island. She was always preoccupied with a minor dilemma after all: searching for a place to eat, trying to find the guesthouse, getting lost in the stars…Maybe this was what it was like to live in the present.
It was cheesy, but she felt giddy at the warmth these thoughts brought her. She unplugged her phone and began to drift off, dreams of a bright and benevolent sky coming easy to her for the first time in a long time.
✧✧✧
Gunwook greeted her cheerfully the moment he spotted her walking down the staircase.
Neul is slightly surprised to find the boy already awake, memories of her own university summer breaks coming to mind. “Good morning to you too, Wookie,” she greeted back and joined him for a humble breakfast of garlic fried rice, fried eggs, and various banchan.
“This is really delicious. Did you make this, Wookie?”
“I did. But sorry to disappoint you noona, these are the only things I can cook decently,” the boy replied before pressing his palms together in front of his chest with a loud thud.
Neul bristled at the sound, but quickly recovered to huff at the exaggerated gesture. “It’s fine. I’m only paying for the room anyway. It was already sweet of you to make enough for me.” She then stood up and made her way to the sink with her dishes. “By the way, where can I buy some clothes around here?”
“Oh I guess you didn’t see last night but there’s a thrift shop close to the cafe. They also have some ready-to-wear items, if that’s what you’re looking for. Otherwise, there’s maybe three souvenir shops on the island?”
“The thrift shop sounds perfect, honestly.” She hadn’t gone thrifting in a long while, and she can already feel the excitement. That settles it for her plans this morning, then. A thought occurred to her as she was washing the plates. “You go to SNU, right?”
“Oh, yeah I do! I’m in my third year as a Physical Therapy student. How’d you know, noona?” The boy brought the other dishes over to the sink and stood by Neul.
“Your photo on KaTalk. I recognized the building. You just got back, right?”
“I just returned last Thursday. I was exempted from some final exams so I made it back early,” the boy smirked, clearly proud of himself.
“Smart boy.” Neul turned to him and gestured for his dishes.
“Oh, thanks noona. I let you wash your dishes but I won’t let you wash mine,” the boy sing-songed. “Are you going to the thrift shop now?”
“Mmm, right after I take a bath. How about you? What are your plans today?”
“I still have some school stuff to finish. Then I just have to bathe Changbokie after I pick her up from the Sungs.” Neul perked up at the mention of a pet. And fine, the familiar last name also piqued her interest. “She’s been staying there since my parents left for their trip last Sunday, and they offered to take her for the week.”
“Your dog?”
“Yeap! Our sweet girl. You like dogs, noona?
Neul remembered her three dogs from home. She always wanted to get a pet for her Seoul apartment. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to take care of one properly due to her schedule, though. “I love dogs. And cats. Hamsters. Any pet, really.”
“That’s great! You’ll love her, noona. She’s the cutest!”
Neul nodded, excited at the prospect. “I can’t wait. Thanks again for the breakfast, Wookie. I’ll head upstairs now.”
“No problem, noona.”
✧✧✧
The heat outside was just plain assaulting. Neul was raised in hot and humid summers, but it was still too much for her. The sun was already high up in the sky when she finished thrift shopping for clothes to wear on her stay. After rummaging for hours, Neul was ready for an early lunch. With the borrowed umbrella in one hand and a bag of her finds in the other, she made her way to the cafe, which was mercifully only a few shops away.
“Welcome,” a familiar voice called out, harmonizing with the door chime made of seashells that rustled as she pushed the door open. When she looked up after folding the umbrella, a familiar shocked expression also came to view. “Haneul-unnie!”
“Bin?” Neul took in the short-haired girl for the first time in broad daylight, and remembered her saying that she was headed to this cafe last night. She approached the counter, eyes gravitating towards the sweets and pastries on display for a second before shifting her gaze back to the girl behind the counter. Her smile rivaled the radiance of the summer sun. “Neul or just unnie is fine. You work here?”
“It’s complicated.”
It was also the first time Neul really saw the giggle and she caught a glimpse of the cutest whisker dimples. Bin smoothed her hands over the evergreen apron that was thrown over crisp cream linen. Her shirt had the top two buttons open, and a fine line tattoo nestled under her collarbones peeked out. Oh.
“Unnie!”
“Hmm?” Neul snapped her head up.
“I was asking if you came here for lunch?” The girl’s cheeks had flushed a lovely shade of pink. The air conditioning seems to be working well, Neul wondered. Maybe Bin just got hot easily?
“Y-yeah, I am. Got hungry after some shopping,” Neul bashfully replied as she raised her bag of thrifted clothes. “What’d you recommend?”
“Hmm,” Bin pouted to the side. “Are you feeling pasta? Salad? Or Korean food?”
“Not particularly craving anything, no.”
Bin nodded in understanding. “How about rosé pasta? It’s served with focaccia bread. And…do you want anything to drink? I make the drinks here,” she told Neul, blush now reaching her ears.
“Sure. What would go well with the pasta?”
“I’d say a fruit juice. Maybe a lemonade?”
“Sounds great to me.” After paying for the meal, she whirled around to look for a spot.
“Wait, unnie!” Neul whipped her head around. “Uhm, can I join you? For lunch, I mean.”
“Of course,” she smiled at the girl fiddling with her apron, and turned to go sit at a table close to the counter.
After a minute or two, Bin sat at the chair beside hers, and lightly pressed her palms on the table. “So…” the girl turned to her with an expectant face before she gasped out. “Oh wait! Do you want your drink now?” Neul burst into laughter at the little sequence of events that played out before her. “What is it, unnie?” the girl asked.
“Nothing,” Neul managed to say. You’re just terribly cute. “I don’t mind having the drink now.”
“Aye aye! I’ll be right back, Madam!” Bin promptly stood up and went behind the counter to work on her drink.
Still reeling from how adorable she found the girl, Neul looked around the place. The cafe had modern decor, but still had a homey vibe from all the healthy potted plants and soft lighting, she decided from her adequately cushioned chair. The pleasant aroma of the coffee and the pastries also wafted through the air. It was nice to just sit and take in the place, a welcome change from the thrilling but hectic morning at the thrift shop.
At the sound of footsteps, Neul looked at the girl approaching the table. “Here’s your drink, Ma'am,” she served with a giggle, dimples making a delightful encore.
“Thank you, kind Sir,” Neul played along before taking a sip from the pink lemonade that had a rose garnish. “Mmm. Very refreshing.”
“You’re welcome.” The huge reusable shopping bag sitting on the other chair caught her eye. “That’s a lot of clothes, unnie.”
“Ah yeah, I…I didn’t have time to pack since I had to make the afternoon trip yesterday.”
Bin made a noise of acknowledgement as she wrung her hands. “Yesterday…” she shifted her gaze down, a clear sign that she was still debating how best to continue her sentence. “Not a lot of people come here before the summer break has truly started, so actually…” Neul leaned slightly forward with her forearms on the table. “I already saw you at the pier, when you were about to go into the family restaurant, I think? I could kinda tell that you weren’t from here…but I wasn’t sure. Then when I saw you on the road,” she finally raised her head to Neul again, eyes sparkling with a clear conviction. ”Unnie, you looked like you were about to pass out.”
Taken aback, Neul’s eyes widened into saucers as she bit her lips to stifle a laugh. This wasn’t what she expected but suddenly, the other’s audible apprehension came to mind.
“Unnie, I wasn’t stalking you, I promise. But I wanted you to know.”
“Yeah, because that’s something a stalker would never say,” Neul deadpanned.
“Unnie!” The younger girl bounced on her seat with a tiny pout.
Too cute for her own good. “Don’t worry about it. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you offered me a ride at that time.” She decided to relieve the girl, before she added, “I wasn’t about to pass out though.”
“Right…”
Neul narrowed her eyes at the girl, but ultimately ignored the insinuation. “Well, to be completely honest with you too, I actually already kinda knew how to get to the Parks’, but for some reason, I thought I could walk there.” It was now Bin’s turn to stifle a laugh, albeit unsuccessfully, a snort escaping her. “Oh, wow.” Neul said, crossing her arms.
“Sorry,” Bin had the decency to say. “It’s fine unnie. I didn’t mind at all.”
“Good,” Neul stated before snickering along with the other girl.
After they were able to compose themselves, Bin looked at her intently in the eye. “Can I ask you why you came here, unnie?”
“Because I was hungry and it’s too hot outside?”
“Oh.” Bin averted her gaze. Neul had tried to be casual about it, but had she sensed Neul’s reluctance? “Uhm, I--”
“I know what you meant,” she cut her off with a kind smile. Bin raised her head, and Neul paused to consider her next words. “I’m on vacation.”
“How long will you be staying?”
“A month.”
“Whoa,” the other made the shocked face that Neul is starting to know exceedingly well. “You work freelance, unnie? Or are you a teacher?”
“I work a boring desk job. For the government.”
Bin scrutinized her face for a few moments. “Something tells me it’s not boring at all.”
Neul took another sip of the lemonade. “Well it is challenging, but yeah…” she trailed off. “So you work here?”
“Ah well if you’re asking if I’m paid to do this, no,” the girl scratched her nape, grinning brightly in stark contradiction to her statement. “I’m here most weekends. Whenever I’m free, really. My parents own the cafe, and they’re back in the kitchen right now,” she continued, pointing a thumb to the door behind the cashier.
Neul nodded and filed the tidbit away in her brain. “And on weekdays?”
“I teach at the island preschool,” Bin responded, eyes turning into crescents.
Oh wow. “That’s impressive. I could never deal with children. That’s why I got a license to teach highschoolers instead.”
“Wait so you ARE a teacher!”
“Not currently, no. It’s just that--”
“Teacher Sung!” A boy came bounding from the door.
“Sorry, hold that thought, unnie.” Bin greeted the customers and went to the counter.
A smile found its way on Neul’s lips as she watched the girl take the order of the woman holding the little boy’s hand. They were deep in conversation when a disembodied hand rang the bell on the serving window, and Bin excused herself from the pair who went to sit at a corner booth. Bin picked up the tray, beelined for their table, and put down two identical plates of pasta.
“Oh, so when you chose for me earlier, you were actually the one with a craving,” Neul chided the other playfully.
“Well, yes. And I had a feeling we would have similar tastes,” the girl said, grinning confidently at her.
“I doubt that. Unless you love durian.” Neul took a forkful of pasta and savored it. “Mmmm. This is crazy delicious. You might be right about that taste thing.”
“I’m glad you like what my mom made, unnie.” Huh. Neul leveled the ridiculous girl with a tired gaze and snorted. “I’ve never tried durian before though, so I wouldn’t know if I like it.”
As they ate through their plate, Neul found out about more of their similarities--their teaching backgrounds, shared passion for k-pop, love for performing, the moles on their faces (!!!), and many others. Over the summer break, Bin will be teaching dance classes to kids and she invited Neul to come if she didn’t have anything to do.
While they were contemplating whether they should get desserts, the mother-and-son duo stopped by them. “We’ll be going ahead, Teacher Sung. Tell your mom we loved the food, as always,” the young mom greeted. Meanwhile, the boy was blinking his boba eyes at Neul with a tiny pout. Neul smiled and gave him an equally tiny wave.
“Will do, Mrs. Han. See you tomorrow, Yujinie. You guys take care!”
“We will. Thank you Teacher Sung,” the woman replied and the boy—Yujin—also said his goodbyes in a quiet voice.
“He’s in your dance class?” Neul asked once they were out of earshot.
“Yup. But he was in my preschool class, too. Very charming and energetic child,” Bin remarked with a chuckle. “You have anything else today, unnie?”
“Not really. I guess I’ll go back to help Wookie bathe his dog.”
“Oh, Changbok’s still at my parents’ upstairs!” Bin said, confirming Neul’s suspicions during her conversation with Gunwook. “I actually just checked on her right before you arrived. She actually lived with me and I brought her over there in the morning.
Neul gasped. “I want to meet her.”
“You--really? I can take you to her now, if you’d like. She’s the best girl,” Bin echoed Gunwook’s sentiments earlier, clearly also enamored with the dog.
“If it’s no trouble…”
Oh not at all.” Bin began gathering their used dishes and utensils. “Let me just get my mom, unnie,” she called out as she disappeared behind the kitchen door.
She returned after a short while, a woman in an apron and a hairnet tailing her. Aside from the clear facial resemblance, the way she carried herself was also familiar. “Mama, this is Haneul-unnie who’s staying at the Parks. Unnie, this is my eomma,” Bin beamed while taking her apron off, looking at the both of them.
“Nice to meet you, Ma’am. The pasta was absolutely delicious.”
Bin’s mom giggled, reminiscent of her daughter's antics. “You’re welcome Haneullie. Feel free to stop by, anytime.”
Neul thanked her and shifted her gaze to the floor, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks, though she’s unsure why.
“Should I teach you the recipe?” she heard the older woman whisper to Bin, who responded with a whiny pout. Huh. Neul didn't want to think too much about it. She busied herself with tightening her pigtails instead while waiting for the other girl. After a few moments, Bin tapped her shoulder.
“Let’s go?” the girl asked, tilting her head towards the side once they were both outside the cafe. The establishment was the last store among a row of shops in a single building, and there were stairs on its side. They entered the first door on their right once they reached the second floor.
Before entering the apartment, Neul left her white bow sandals beside Bin's suede Air Forces. The place was modest in size and was well-kempt even though there were a lot of trinkets and plants around the living room. There was a huge picture frame on the wall to her right. It was Bin and her parents, with another young girl.
“You have a sister?”
“Ah yeah, that’s Areumie! She’s in Seoul right now training.”
“Training?”
“She’s a rock climber.” Bin turned towards her, hand on the door knob of another room opposite the entrance. “Please sit down, unnie. Feel at home.”
“Thanks.” Neul did as requested. “So she took all the athletic genes between the two of you, then?” she teased the other. Earlier, they talked about how neither of them played sports--yet another similarity they shared. Bin is an active dancer though, and Neul had an idea about how physically demanding that can be.
Bin, clearly able to see through the jest, let out a chuckle in agreement. “That's exactly what happened, unnie,” she responded from inside the room. She then came out with a beautiful golden rough collie, who immediately bounded towards where she was sitting on the sofa.
“Hi baby,” Neul greeted in a high-pitched voice. She got on her knees and ruffled the brown beauty behind her ears and all over her majestic mane. Scratching under her chin next, Changbok attempted to lick her hand. “That tickles,” Neul said between giggles. She was feeling giddy, not only from the tingling sensation, but also from how adorable she found Changbok.
When she came to, she met Bin’s gaze and noticed that she was tightly gripping her phone in one hand. “I think it's safe to say that she likes you, unnie.”
“Yeah, thankfully.” Neul answered, shifting her attention back to Changbok to comb her long coat with her fingers. “I can take her with me. We should probably go now so you can help your mom with the cashier?”
Bin hummed in agreement, looking around the room. “Thanks, unnie. I would appreciate that. Just let me...” she trailed off before going back inside the room and returning with a leash. She knelt beside Changbok and rotated her collar. “You don't have to walk far, but it's better to be safe than sorry,” Bin remarked. Neul grunted in agreement, mouth in a tight smile, and they made their way outside the apartment.
They quietly went down the stairs after Bin locked the door. “You think you got this, unnie?”
“Mmm, I got this,” Neul responded, raising her occupied hands. The other nodded, looking like she wanted to say something again. A moment passed. Two. “Well…” Neul began. “This is me, then.”
As she took a few steps to cross the fountain, Bin called out to her. “Unnie, wait!”
Neul turned around and almost gave herself whiplash. The other girl had her eyebrows crumpled together, and she was clutching her phone to her chest. ”Umm…” the girl tried before clearing her throat. “Do you have any plans tomorrow?” Neul stared at her for a few moments, and a tick in her expression must have encouraged the other to elaborate. “Or at any time at all during your stay here…?” she added, seemingly in a panic before muttering to herself and shifting her gaze down to the cobblestones.
Neul hid her expression with the hand holding the leash. She snorted once and put her hand back down on her hip. “Bin.”
That got the other to raise her head right away. “Yes?”
“I have no plans whatsoever for the rest of the month,” Neul said, smiling from ear to ear.
“Oh. W-well, you can drop by the dance class tomorrow…I mean I already invited you earlier…uhm if that's something you would like…” Her voice faded into a mutter until she abruptly raised it again. “Ah! Because earlier you mentioned that you also liked to dance…”
Neul tilted her head to the side. “So you want me to enroll as a student?” Neul offered, hoping to make the other girl less nervous, and Bin finally straightened up and gave her a charming crooked grin.
“I mean, if you want to. I'm confident in my skills, unnie. It will be worth your time, I promise.”
“Alright, you've convinced me. What time is the class again?”
Bin’s composure cracked once more. “A-actually, unnie, can I have your number? So I can tell you…o-or maybe I can pick you up and we can go together?”
“Sure.” Neul then dictated her number to the other. “Just give me a call, hmm? Since right now, I really can't…” She raised her preoccupied hands as a way to finish the sentence.
“Of course, of course,” the other nodded fervently with wide eyes, eyebrows raised to the sky. “I'll see you tomorrow, unnie.”
“Mhmm. See you tomorrow, Bin.” She then turned around and made her way across the fountain to the guesthouse. And if she had an extra pep in her step, despite the 2 o'clock sun beating down on her with no hand free to hold an umbrella, then maybe it was just to keep up with Changbok. She must have been excited to go home.
Notes:
This is a completed work, so expect updates every Friday (probably around 11PM KST)!
For those who like details: this takes place summer 2025, so Neul arrived on the island on July 12 (Saturday). The following chapters will also be about what happens roughly every week on her vacation, so there will be four chapters in total + the epilogue.
I also researched a lot, by the way! But feel free to point out any glaring inaccuracies. Just know that they're probably on purpose lol
Chapter 2: Like flying
Summary:
Second week on the island + some flashbacks to the first one. Hope you guys enjoy this ~10k birthday special!
To my summer sky who changed my life, happy birthday. Can't believe I'm on this planet with you. Thank you for being here.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Alright, great job everyone!” The teacher's energetic voice boomed throughout the small makeshift studio. “Everyone is ready to move on from the basics in the next lesson. Do you all agree?”
The room erupted in unanimous affirmation.
“Yes, please Teacher Sung!” “Yay. Finally~~”
“Then we can end early today! Let's proceed to our cooldown, then.” Bin pressed play on her phone and a chill pop song blared through the speakers. She lifted her head towards the ceiling. “Okay, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2,1.” Clapping her hands twice, she dropped her head, facing the floor this time. “And 1, 2, 3, 4…”
She carried on with the stretching routine, did shoulders and arms, followed by the back and the sides. Next came hamstrings. Bin touched her forehead to her knees after clapping twice once more. “1, 2, 3, it's fine if you can't touch your knees yet. Just don't bend them, okay?"
“Teacher Jang is bending her knees!” a boy chimed in and the class broke out into scattered laughter.
“I'm trying my best, Yujinie. You're so mean!” Neul responded to the child who was hugging the back of his calves, quite literally flexing his flexibility.
It was just some light-hearted teasing, Neul knows. After all, she has a sneaking suspicion that she’s Yujin’'s favorite 'teacher'.
Dance classes started a week ago. Neul has never missed a single one, content with sitting at the sidelines and observing Bin and the kids. She would get up to join sometimes, especially when they're doing warm-ups and drills to her favorite girl group tracks.
Yujin recognized her from the cafe right away. He introduced himself properly and asked her a barrage of questions, ever the curious first grader. On water breaks, he would approach the two of them to ask if they thought he was doing well.
Sometimes, Bin would be going around giving other kids one-on-one lessons on these breaks. Even then, Yujin would sit with Neul to chat with her.
He's one of the best dancers, in Neul's unbiased opinion, and she always tells him the truth. The boy was also quick to pick up the steps. Surprisingly, this was the first time he’s tried dancing. Soccer was the activity that usually took up his time, but wanted to try Teacher Sung’s lessons.
After the cool down routine, he went straight to Neul. “I'm sorry Teacher Jang. Actually, I think that was your best stretch yet.”
“Don't worry, Yujinie,” she ruffled the boy’s damp hair. “And thanks! Do you have tips for me?”
Yujin’s bright eyes widened before he knitted his eyebrows. “Oh I've always been able to do that." He spoke with a pout. “But sometimes, I wouldn't be able to do it before games , though.”
“Oh so you think you become more flexible after your games?” Neul clarified for the kid, and wiped the sheen from his forehead with his towel.
“Mhmm,” the kid nodded vigorously. “So Teacher Jang you have to dance with us or maybe play a game!”
Neul was impressed that he was able to notice that. “You're on to something, Yujinie. Maybe you should teach me to play soccer too!”
“You guys doing okay here?”
“Teacher Sung! Teacher Jang should join the whole class so she can be flexible like me," the boy greeted his teacher who was drinking from her water bottle.
“That’s a great idea Yujinie! Maybe she will join us tomorrow?" Bin looked at Neul with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"Maybe I will," Neul shot back. She was not one to back down from a challenge.
"Yay!" The boy bounced in his seat.
He was so precious. Neul felt the urge to hug the boy, so she did. "Is your mom coming to pick you up?"
"In a while, I guess." The boy frowned while he checked his phone.
"Don't worry. We’ll wait for her with you."
Neul's gaze swept the room and saw that quite a few kids were in the same predicament. Some guardians or parents usually wait throughout the class, but there were others who didn’t come back until lunch break.
Her eyes finally landed on a black object in the corner of the studio, which was actually a classroom with portable mirrors. "Bin," she whispered to the other girl. " Do you think that thing’s working?'"
She looked to where Neul was pointing. "I think it does. They do use it in classes?"
"You think I can use it?” She cocked her head to the side. "For the kids."
Bin stared at her for a moment and gave her the go signal, prompting Neul to walk over towards the corner. She sat behind the object and ran her hands through the ruffles of her skirt.
Meanwhile, Bin called the attention of the remaining kids. “Hey kids! Does anyone want to hear Teacher Jang play the piano?"
The kids chorused their consensus as they turned to Bin.
"Then let's gather over there please."
There were ten or so children left, so it wasn’t much of a crowd. Regardless of the size, Neul was happy to play to any audience, anytime. She straightened her back.
"Thank you for coming to my show, dearest guests," Neul said in an overly formal tone that made the children giggle.
"Are you going to sing too, Teacher Jang?" a little girl inquired.
"We'll see…" Neul teased as she tested a few notes to see if the piano was in tune and the kids already shrieked in excitement.
She briefly turned to look at Bin. The teacher was holding the two ends of the towel hanging around her neck, and she nodded in encouragement, eyes shining with anticipation.
Neul swallowed, to clear her throat among other things, and played the first few notes of the song. Her left hand stayed around a few keys, while her right hand glided across the other side.
"Ooooooh I think I know this song," the girl who asked earlier practically vibrated in her seat.
Bin looked around the seated students. Her face lit up at the kids' expectant expressions, but she was obviously just as excited for the performance.
Just then, Neul stopped playing and smiled at her audience—a pause for effect—before playing the chords softly as she began to sing.
"Dearest, darling, my universe..."
The performance began softly. Neul’s voice was quiet and resonant at the same time, showcasing her masterful vocal control. She sounded like an otherworldly instrument.
The room was silent save for the gentle piano notes playing and the singing voice. Frozen in their seats, the kids were entranced by the enchanting vocals echoing throughout the tiny studio. Bin was no exception. The girl looked like her throat had dried up, though she had just drank a bottle of her electrolytes mere minutes ago.
There were moments where Neul closed her eyes throughout the lengthy ballad. She embodied the lyrics of the song, infusing every note she crooned with the message of love and persistence.
And as the song built up towards its climax, Neul expertly treaded the delicate balance between the intensity and the softness that the part required.
"Love, love, looooove."
Neul ended the performance on an expressive vibrato. The kids then broke out in thunderous applause before she had even fully opened her eyes. They sang her praises one by one.
"That was the best performance ever!" "Please do this tomorrow pleeease!" "Do another song, Teacher Jang!"
They ran clamoring to Neul.
On the other hand, looking deep in thought, Bin stood rooted to her spot.
Neul tried her best to respond to the kids but really, her eyes were on the teacher. As the chaos died down, Bin finally looked up to meet Neul’s gaze.
"How was it?” Neul mouthed, soft brown locks cascading over the side of her face as she tilted her head.
The other girl's mouth was in a tight line. She nodded deliberately and after licking her lips inwardly, she turned to the kids. "Well guys, aren’t we lucky that we were able to hear that for free?"
"Yes! Teacher Jang should be on TV!" Yujin led the cheers of the children. Neul laughed and thanked everyone before asking them if they had requests.
She sang and played a few more songs, before the guardians started to arrive one by one. As the kids were dwindling down, Yujin approached Neul with his mom in tow.
"Mommy, I think I also want to learn how to sing from Teacher Jang. And maybe play the piano too!" His mom ruffled his hair and looked at the two girls.
“Another productive lesson today, I see. Thank you so much as always for watching over Yujinie."
"It's no problem, Mrs. Han, see you tomorrow," Bin responded with a smile.
The two girls watched the mother-and-son duo walk out the door, before Bin abruptly turned to the other. She reached out to hold Neul’s wrists and spoke carefully. "That was seriously the most incredible thing I've ever heard."
With a giddy smile on her face Neul responded, "I'm glad you liked it, Teacher Sung."
"No, seriously,” she shook the others’ wrists once, "I thought you only played the violin to begin with, but your voice...that was…I don’t think I have the words for how special it was, unnie." Bin looked into the other's eyes with a ferocious heat, as if willing her to comprehend how serious she was.
Neul allowed herself to bask in the warmth of the gaze.
“Thank you, Bin,” she responded, decisively accepting the praise.
✧✧✧
They were finishing up their respective desserts—milk tea for Neul and strawberry bingsu for Bin—when Neul asked where they should go after lunch.
"We could go back to the river if you'd like? Since you mentioned wanting to bring Changbok with us last week."
“I'd love that. We could bring Wookie with us too, if he's free.”
“Sounds like a plan then!”
Last Monday, after the first day of class ended and they were having lunch at the cafe, Neul asked Bin if she could take her on a tour around the island.
“Of course, unnie! I would love to…”
“But? I could sense a but coming.”
“It's just that…I've never had to tour anyone around here.”
Relieved at the clarification, Neul gave out a suggestion. “Then why don't you just take me to all your favorite spots here, then?”
The girl grew scarlet, but responded nonetheless. “That's a great idea, unnie. Do you want to start today?”
“Hmm. Today might be too abrupt. How about tomorrow? Plus, at least now you will have time to think about where to bring me."
After all, she might be imposing on Bin. The least she could do is to lessen the pressure on the other girl, or that she will at least like the places they'll visit. Besides, Neul also had to finish something for her friend's birthday that afternoon.
The following day, Bin took Neul to all the basic tourist spots first. Neul had only seen the pier and a little bit of the town center at that point, so she saw no issue with the other girl's decision.
They went around the island on Bin’s scooter and first stopped by the farmers market, a bustling community of sellers of all kinds of things: fresh fruits and vegetables, handmade trinkets, and all kinds of street food. There was even a stall that sold the island's version of Neul's favorite soondae.
Next, they swung by a modest boulevard park. Red bricks covered the ground and there were landscapes and statues scattered across the area. They took turns taking pictures of each other and Bin shyly asked if she could take a selfie with Neul in front of one of the bonsai arrangements.
Bin parked by a scenic viewpoint high up on the island after they had been driving for a while. The view was worth it. They sat inside one of the wooden gazebos and admired the sky, now dyed in a gradient of orange and blue. Bin listened to Neul talk about her hometown as they admired the stunning coastline.
Wednesday was the first time they went to the river. It was close to the cafe—and fluffy clouds checkered the blue expanse—so they went there on foot. It was a pleasantly quiet place. There were only a handful of other people, most of them angling around one spot.
The riverbank was grassy and lined with old trees, forming part of an entrance to a forest. It was the perfect spot for a picnic. They talked about anything and everything that day, as they munched on the various snacks that Bin had brought from the cafe.
After deciding to pace themselves on Thursday, the last day of the week for dance classes, they spent the whole Friday morning at the beach. Gunwook and Changbok came with them and the four of them rode Gunwook’s parents' car with Bin behind the wheel.
It wasn’t the white-sand beaches of neighboring Jeju, but the pebbles on the shore were smooth and the weather was perfect for getting in the azure waters. The four of them also trekked to the nearby spot where a field of lavenders were in full bloom.
Neul then spent most of the weekend in her room, feeling a bit exhausted but extremely satisfied. She only went out to eat and once to tag along with Bin to explore the farmers market stall by stall since it was time to restock on some ingredients for the cafe.
After class on Tuesday, they decided to take another break on their tour.
Neul had indeed joined the dance class in full, much to the amusement of Yujin and Bin. As a result, she was too tired to go anywhere else for the day, and just headed straight for the cafe after taking a shower. They were joined by Gunwook who was sitting next to Neul on their usual table, the one near the counter.
Neul was digging into her late lunch sundubu jjigae when her phone rang. Reading who it was, she accepted the video call request.
"Hey Rick,” she greeted the caller. “Got nothing better to do?”
“You got it Jie,” the boy on the call laughed. “Qubing's here with me right now and he wanted to call you. Are the guys with you?”
“Hey hyungs,” Gunwook answered for himself as Neul tilted the screen towards her right side. While they were hanging around at the cafe last Thursday, Neul decided to call her two babies to introduce them to Bin and Gunwook.
“Bin’s at the counter right now preparing our drinks.” She then flipped the camera. “Bin say hi to Ricky and Gyuvin.”
Bin paused in the middle of shaking a drink and raised her hand in response. “Hey guys!”
Ricky greeted back and Gyuvin asked Neul about what she had been up to lately. Neul caught them up to what had happened since they last called: the beach, singing in class, and joining the dance class as a student. The pair made appropriate noises of excitement as she described their escapades.
“Send clips of you singing or dancing, please!” Gyuvin pouted.
Neul recalled Yujin telling her that he recorded one of her piano performances earlier today. “I'll have to ask Yujinie for them, so remind me tomorrow, hmm?”
“I'll remember for you, noona, since we really want to see it.” Neul huffed. She knows they both have stellar memories anyway.
Ricky took the phone from Gyuvin. “Speaking of remembering, jie, what are you going to do for your birthday?”
“Birthday?” Gunwook who was listening in on the call, put his phone down and interjected. “Noona, when is it?”
“It's on Friday,” Ricky responded on her behalf, since Neul kept quiet throughout Gunwook's prodding. “Well jie?”
“Well if you want to celebrate it so badly, maybe you should come over for the weekend.”
The other two looked at each other for the briefest of seconds before simultaneously saying “OK!”
“What are we celebrating?” Bin cut in, finally able to join the conversation, and brought a tray of their drinks to the table.
“Thanks noona. It's Neul-noona's birthday on Friday,” Gunwook answered on her behalf, perhaps sensing her apprehension. She was silent save for expressing her gratitude to Bin for her lemonade.
Bin’s lips formed their trademark o-shape before responding. “Is that right?” she turned to Neul, eyebrows raised to high heavens.
“They're not really serious, I think. I was just teasing them.” They were in Los Angeles at the moment, and even though they could afford the tickets, they would be pressed for time since the one-way trip alone would already take over a full day.
“Should we throw a party, then?”
“Like a small dinner party, maybe?” Neul tipped her head to the side. “Just the people I know here would be lovely.”
Bin brought a hand to her right eyebrow in a mock salute. “Yes ma'am.” Turning to Gunwook and the phone now in his hands, she declared, “Well boys, it seems like we have a dinner party to plan, don't we?”
✧✧✧
Two days later, foregoing their usual afternoon hangout, Neul met up with Bin for dinner at the cafe where they were currently finishing up a pad thai. It was an off-the-menu item, requested by Bin from her eomma.
“So, where are we going tonight?”
“Don’t you want it to be a surprise, unnie?” Bin replied with a smug grin.
“Well, this is the first time that it will be a surprise, so I had to ask. It’s also the first time that we’ll be going out at night,” Neul defended.
“Don’t worry so much, unnie. I think you’d be able to tell where we’re headed soon enough.” Bin stood up to take their plates to the kitchen and returned after a while with her hands behind her back. “Let’s go?”
Neul stood up and followed the other girl out the door and went to her scooter parked on the side of the building. Bin then deposited a small black backpack in the storage box.
“Oh?” Neul stared at Bin, waiting for a clarification. The other girl took out the helmets, and gave the yellow one to Neul.
“I promise you’ll like it, unnie,” Bin pleaded to the other girl, lower lip jutting out for full effect.
“OK I trust you,” the older girl relented right away and got on the bike behind Bin. The sun had just tucked itself into the horizon, and the road ahead was only bathed in moonlight and the scant lighting from a few street lamps.
Soon enough, after spotting the familiar rice fields to her right, it became clearer that they were heading to the direction of the pier. They had never headed back there for any of their excursions, so Neul was thrilled at the prospect of a novel experience.
“Unnie let me know if you’re cold! Sorry I forgot to warn you,” Bin shouted over the roar of the evening breeze racing past them.
Only then did Neul feel just how cold she was. The other day, Neul mentioned that she wasn't able to thrift a long-sleeved top she could wear at night. Then that very afternoon, Bin handed her a freshly washed flannel shirt, remarking that she can have one of hers.
Like magic, that flannel she's currently wearing, along with the memory, flooded her with warmth. She chose not to say anything. She just held the other girl closer, resting her head between Bin’s shoulder blades, the other's brunette hair softly tickling her cheeks.
“Unnie?”
“I’m OK for now!” Neul reassured the other, breathing in her woody and powdery scent. It’s the same scent she was wearing when she first rode on this scooter two weeks ago.
They arrived at their destination after a couple of minutes. Neul was looking around the place when Bin took off her helmet for her, part of their little routine every time they rode Bin’s bike.
The pier gave off a slightly different vibe, now that it wasn't as busy as before. There was a line of white and blue boats along the shore opposite them, set against a backdrop of colorful buildings and street lamps. This scenery was reflected on the water, and it fluttered along with the gentle glide of the sea breeze.
“So what are we doing here?” Neul asked the other girl after thanking her.
“Yesterday at the beach, you said you wanted to see the stars over the ocean, right? It’s a different scenery, but the pier has something else that will help us with your wish.”
Adjusting one shoulder now carrying the small backpack, she pointed at the short vertical ivory structure in front of them. It was some distance from the coast, with a stone cement walkway leading up to it.
Neul had to admit, she was a bit scared at the prospect of going over to the lighthouse, but she was also stoked to see what the ocean view looked like from a different vantage point. “We’re going up there?”
“Yeah I go there all the time when I want to think for a bit,” Bin responded, reading the questions off of Neul’s face. “You OK to walk there?” Neul hummed in response, figuring that they weren't in a hurry to go anywhere.
It was quiet when they made their way to the tower, but they weren't quite alone. There were boats of different sizes scattered on either side of the runway. Closer to the pier, there were people ambling about, carrying all sorts of equipment.
A gust of wind blew their way and Neul ran forward into its cold embrace. She turned to check on the other girl while slowly walking backwards. Her locks danced every which way in the breeze, obscuring her view for a moment, but what she eventually saw made her chest tighten.
It was just Bin walking towards her. She had the smallest, the softest of smiles on her face. But her eyes, there were whole galaxies in them, swirling with an unfathomable brilliance.
“You're bea--AH!”
“Unnie!” Bin grabbed her by the left side of her waist. For a moment, Neul feared that her heart was beating loud enough for the other to hear as they stared into each other. “Pfff--”
“Yah! I almost died!!” she pushed the ridiculous girl by her chest, before snorting in amusement. “I almost died and you're laughing!”
The other girl now had both hands on her knees, and her giggles had tapered into whistles almost too high for the human ear to catch.
“I'm sorry, unnie,” Bin wheezed as she wiped a tear. “There are some stones here that jut out, so please be careful.” She let out a deep breath to fully calm herself and extended her left hand. “Follow me?”
Bin's blush had spread to her cheeks, Neul noted before she heaved out a heavy sigh of her own and reached for the hand in front of her. “OK.”
They strolled the rest of the runway in relative silence. Regardless, the walk wasn’t as daunting as Neul thought it would be, and the warm hand enclosing hers may or may not have had something to do with it.
Bin still hadn’t let go of her hand when they arrived in front of the entrance to the structure. “Are you ready?” she asked the other girl, pausing for a short break. Neul nodded and they began their ascent via the metallic winding staircase attached to the wall, bound by a cold chrome railing on the right.
“Do they just leave the door open for anybody to enter?” Neul’s voice echoed throughout the tower.
“I asked the keeper ahead of time to keep it open for us, unnie. You didn’t see me wave at somebody back at the pier?” Bin looked back at her with a smile.
Neul shook her head. “You know them?”
“I deliver goods from our cafe all the time here,” she explained further. “Actually, I was doing just that when I first saw you.”
Neul stopped to catalog the thought, a smirk finding its way on her lips. “What do they usually get?”
“The keepers here love our melon pan. So that, plus coffee, of course. That’s what the box on my scooter was initially for.”
“I don’t think I’ve tried your melon pan yet.” She's tasted the whole menu at this point but the only baked desserts she has tried so far were the cakes and cookies.
Bin turned to look at her again. “You’ve been here for twelve days, unnie!”
“I know!” she lightly punched the other, pushing her to continue walking up the stairs.
Neul noticed that it was considerably getting brighter compared to when they were at the bottom of the building, the cold metal of the steps now awash in silver moonlight.
“Oh wow,” she breathed out once they arrived at the top of the staircase.
“It never gets old.” Bin nodded, shifting her gaze from the view of the ocean to the other’s awestruck expression. She then reached out to Neul’s hand and gently pulled her towards the open door of the balcony.
A strong gust of wind blew their way while they were walking towards the ledge, making Neul pull her hand to embrace herself. Immediately, Bin took off the black zip-up hoodie she was wearing and wordlessly offered it to the shivering girl.
“Thanks.” Neul decided to take up the offer this time and put the hoodie on.
The summer night sky was clear, allowing for a stunning view of the stars and the thinnest of crescent moons—it must be the new moon tomorrow—and the breeze that blew over the water was gentle.
Neul took in the view, thankful for the high cyclone wire railing that encircled the balcony. The soft ripples made the reflected stars quiver like small white flowers being blown by the wind on an expansive midnight blue meadow. The lighthouse was almost out of the cove, so there was nothing that obstructed the horizon.
Neul grabbed one of the cookies from the container that Bin had brought to their eccentric evening picnic. They were lying down on a mat and some pillows that Bin had procured from a cabinet, and waves could be heard crashing on the massive tetrapods, about three stories below them.
The quiet was comfortable but staring at the sky, Neul felt the need to shatter it. “What is the thing you want to do?”
Bin propped her head on her palm, lying on her side to face the other. “Like, my ultimate goal?”
“Mmm, something like that. What would make you say ‘you’ve made it?’” She met the other’s gaze as she waited for the response.
After a beat, Bin looked towards the distant ceiling plastered with stars. “I haven’t given it much thought before, I guess.” She looked over to Neul, imploring her to elaborate.
“It’s just that…have you felt like you wanted to do…” she furrowed her brows in concentration, “everything?”
“That's…” For a while, only the waves lapping at the breakwater structures could be heard. “That's a familiar thought.” Bin turned to her, eyes brimming with fondness.
“Yeah?”
“There was a time," she began, a distant look settling in her eyes, "when I wanted to do everything for everyone. It was nothing like saving the world or anything. I just wanted to be able to give everyone what they wanted.” She then averted her gaze upwards. “But one day, a question popped into my head.”
Neul turned on her stomach and put her chin on her hands, patiently waiting for the other to continue.
“'Who was I when I wasn’t doing all those things for other people?' I didn’t like the answer, so I came back to my roots, as cliche as that sounds." She briefly chuckled before continuing. "Then I remembered the important things, I guess? And now here I am, a preschool teacher who dances on the side.”
An impossible tangle of emotions made its home in Neul's chest upon hearing the girl's words. It warmed her up, like the borrowed hoodie enveloping her. They both giggled at the phrase. “That’s your full title? ‘A preschool teacher who dances on the side’?”
“I guess. And I love it.” After another short round of laughter, Bin asked her, “What’s on your mind, unnie?”
Neul was actually trying to think about something else, instead of the fact that she wanted to come home, too. Unfortunately, she’s not ready yet, in more ways than one.
“It’s nothing. Actually, I wanted to know more about your name. Have they ever told you why they gave it to you?”
“Hmm. My grandma once told me that they wanted me to be a guide to my younger sibling.” Neul made a noise of acknowledgement. “Oh unnie, you probably know this, but Areumie and I, our names don’t have any hanja. Your Chinese name, it's Hao right?” she said, raising both hands towards the sky, prompting the other to talk about her name.
“Yes it specifically means summer sky. It’s not a common character, though. You can find it in songs or old poems, but it's rarely used in daily life.” Her mom gave it to her, and as with customary naming traditions, the single character carried her hopes and dreams for her only child.
“I think it's beautiful, unnie. Zhāng Hào. Did I get it right?”
“Yes, that's correct,” she turned to the other girl. “And your tones were actually spot on! I thought you said you often fell asleep during your Chinese classes?”
Bin's face contorted at the unserious accusation. “I did! I did! You can ask my friends about it!”
“You’re not secretly fluent in Chinese, are you?”
“Unnie, come on. All I did was get two tones right.” The two broke out in snorts and snickers. “Can you please teach me more?”
“OK maybe we can start with counting: yī is one, èr is--”
“Two, sān, sì, wǔ, liù, qī, bā, jiǔ, shí!”
“Oh you got the tones right this time too,” Neul squinted at the girl.
“It was just muscle memory, I think. Teach me useful phrases instead, please?”
Neul was deep in thought for a bit. “How about 'wǒ xiǎng huí jiā'?”
✧✧✧
They were almost at the end of the walkway when the sky lit up with a camera flash, followed by a deafening boom.
“Ah!” Neul was about to jump out of her skin from the loud noise, voice almost as loud as the thunder. “Seems like a storm is close by,” she recovered.
“It might rain on the way home,” Bin agreed after composing herself from briefly laughing at the other’s reaction. Neul just rolled her eyes at the girl who never got used to her particular quirk.
“Well we can't have that,” she breathed before running towards the direction of the parked scooter. They quickly hopped on and put on their helmets, giggling from the rush they felt from racing each other like they were as old as Bin’s students.
Neul remembered something a few minutes into the ride. “Thanks for the hoodie again,” she said towards the shell of the other’s left ear, pressing her body to the other.
“Of course, unnie,” Bin yelled, rubbing a warm palm over the clutched hands on her stomach.
While Neul allowed herself to absorb the other's body heat, cold droplets hit her cheek. “Good thing we went down when we did! Hope it doesn’t get any worse, though.”
However, before Neul was able to voice her agreement, the drizzle abruptly swelled into a downpour.
“You jinxed it, Binnie!” Neul roared through her laughter.
Bin groaned in response. “I should have just kept my mouth shut, huh?”
“It’s fine. Do you wanna try and tell it to go harder?” Neul fired back, giggling again at the absurdity of their situation.
“I think staying quiet would be safer,” Bin admitted after snorting at the suggestion. “We’re almost there anyway, unnie. Hold tight!”
All exposed parts of Neul were already fully drenched, so it wasn’t as if she was shielding her face from the raindrops when she buried her face in the other’s nape. Like this, the ride went by quickly. It only took them another minute of driving before they arrived at the guesthouse.
When they were going through the motions of their little scooter routine, Neul noticed that Bin wasn’t getting off the bike. She reached out and held the other's wrist.
“Come up with me?” Neul softly said, just loud enough for the other to hear.
Bin looked into her eyes for a beat. She bit her lip and she awkwardly threw a thumb towards the direction of the cafe. “I’m just…”
“I’m sure Wookie won’t turn you away.” Neul motioned at the other’s drenched figure with a lopsided smirk.
Plus, Neul had a feeling that Bin was actually heading to her own home. It was nowhere near as close as her parents’. Knowing the other, it made no sense for her to wake up or bother her parents at this hour.
“Okay,” Bin relented and moved the scooter further into the awning, before she made her way to where Neul was waiting by the doorstep. “Thanks unnie.”
✧✧✧
The sun was already high in the sky when Neul tried to open her heavy eyelids. There was a pounding in her head, but she tried to sit up and drink some water to hopefully help with it.
She was alone in her bedroom. The sofa bed had been transformed back, folded blankets arranged on top of the throw pillows. Bin had slept over last night since the storm didn’t let up.
Neul took a deep breath and checked her phone. It wasn’t that early yet, but as expected, it was already brimming with messages. With the persistent pain on her temples, she was trying her best to reply to one of them when the door was thrown open.
“Oh unnie, you’re awake. Happy bi—!”
“Ah-choo!”
Bin immediately dashed towards her, an enormous bouquet in her hands. She was sporting a change of clothes and her classic shocked face.
“You’re not allergic to flowers, are you?” She asked, a mixture of amusement and concern on her features.
Wrapped in her blankets, Neul was able to thank her and shake her head before she sneezed thrice in succession. Bin laid the flowers gently on the bed as she sat down and put one hand on Neul’s forehead, the other on her own forehead. “Unnie I think you have a fever."
Neul groaned in agreement.
“Can you wait a while? I’ll get you medicine and something to eat.” Before Neul could protest and ask the girl to stay, Bin had already closed the door.
Neul sighed and picked up the bouquet of flowers instead. It was an alluring assortment of pink flowers with deep green eucalyptus leaves. She counted three gerbera and four carnation blooms, each the size of her palm, surrounded by dainty baby’s breath blossoms. The arrangement was wrapped in powder blue craft paper and a thin pink ribbon. Neul caught a whiff of a subtle fragrance. The flowers smelled as fresh as they looked.
Finally, Neul picked up the white card at the center of the flowers, swallowing around her heart stuck in her throat. The message was in Bin’s handwriting and the note simply said: “Happy birthday, unnie. Thank you for being you.”
It was still early in the day, so the girl must have gotten up early to go home, change, and pick up the bouquet. And even upon returning, she was more than eager to rush headfirst into doing more tasks for Neul.
Maybe it was just the fever, but it was hard to put a name to the pleasant warmth that spread in Neul’s chest.
Frankly, she had thought of the headache as a portent of doom for her special day. Neul chuckled at the notion. Being wrong sometimes isn’t so bad, huh?
She drank another gulp of water and began to get ready for her day as best as she could with her headache. After brushing her teeth and doing the rest of her morning routine, she resumed her task of replying to the wishes sent her way.
Her mom was third on the list. Neul had made it to the fifth greeting when the woman rang her up.
“Ma?”
“Haohao my baby, I miss you so much,” her mom cooed into her ear. “Happy birthday.”
“Thanks, ma. Miss you too lots. Where are you right now?”
“I’m in Yunnan with my frie—”
“Ah-choo!”
Her mom gasped dramatically. “Are you sick, my baby?”
“Yeah…I think I caught a cold last night.”
“Is my baby not taking care of herself, mmm?” Her tone clearly conveyed her concern, but she wasn’t nagging.
“Just got caught in the rain, ma. I’ll be fine soon. I’m taking meds after breakfast. You should enjoy vacation, though. It’s still pretty early, isn’t it?” Neul tried to shift the subject.
“Alright, enjoy your day, baby. And take care of yourself. Or maybe look for someone who can look after y—”
“Bye ma!” Her mother cackled before the call ended.
Neul often thought that all she’s ever wanted to do is to be able to pay her back for all those years of raising her on her own.
She’s been fortunate to have had her mom by her side. Every time she achieved something, be it academically or in extracurricular competitions, her mom lavished her with endless praises and gifts to the best of her ability.
It was her that instilled in Neul that she was capable of doing anything and everything she had ever wanted, and she always made sure to be supportive of all her endeavors. “Remember Hao, there are no limits to what you can achieve,” she always told her.
Through the singing competitions, the dancing lessons, moving to an entirely different country, her mom always had her back, always trusting her to do the right thing.
And mama had never asked for anything in return. She just fully believes that Neul can do everything. And that’s why it’s especially disappointing that, if you think about it, she really hasn’t achieved anything at a—
“Hey,” Bin finally came back with a bowl on a small tray, cutting her spiral short.
“Thank you so much,” she responded with downcast eyes. “And I’m sorry about all of this.”
“No! I’m sorry about this, unnie. I should have checked the forecast before we left last night.” The girl kept her eyes on the sheets after she had set a small table over Neul’s lap.
Neul doubted that the forecast could have accurately predicted the freak thunderstorm that lasted well into the night. “It’s not your fault," she told the girl with a quiet conviction. “Besides, even if it was your fault, you’ve already made it up to me with this congee, as far as I’m concerned.” She took a spoonful of the dish. “This is perfect!”
“I’m glad you like it, unnie. You’re welcome. You need to rest for a bit but is there anything you’d like to do today?”
The older girl gave it some thought. She quickly came to the conclusion that she’d be cool with just resting here for the day. Maybe she could catch up on the new season of that dating show Ricky has been telling her about? And maybe Bin could stay with her? There was no dance class for the day, after all.
“I can stay with you if you'd like, unnie,” Bin blurted out and Neul had to double take if she had voiced her thoughts out loud. Neul tried to read the unspoken words on Bin’s face before her lips formed a small grin.
“I would love that, Binnie.” Suddenly, a thought crossed Neul’s mind. “Wait, why am I the only one sick?”
Bin gasped and clutched an imaginary pearl necklace. “Do you want me to be sick, unnie?”
“You—I didn’t say that!” Neul was affronted even if she knew that the accusation wasn’t serious at all, and the other girl snorted in response.
“I don’t know either. I just rarely get sick, I guess?”
“Maybe I should also start taking those 12 daily supplements, huh?” Neul remarked, prompting the both of them to burst into giggles.
✧✧✧
Having informed everyone important of her indisposition for the day, including Gunwook, the two dove into a Single's Inferno marathon upon Neul’s request.
Neul’s headache hadn’t completely subsided though, and she fell asleep only after a few episodes. All the staring at the blue screens didn’t help in any way.
No one else was in the room when she woke up and she immediately felt a traitorous pang in her chest. The girl did offer to stay with her, but maybe it was only for the morning. Right. Many other people needed Bin: her parents, her friends, her students, her co-teachers.
Neul understood this but she couldn’t help but long for the girl’s presence. No, it’s not because she needed someone to do things for her. Bin doesn’t even have to lift a finger.
She’s lived alone for quite some time, and she’s handled being sick on her own before (although her friends would try their best to stop by or at least have food delivered to her). But for some reason, her chest yearned for the girl's presence.
Opening her phone to ask about the other’s whereabouts, she ignored the new greetings and searched for their conversation. Her breath caught in her throat. She didn’t have to ask the other after all.
Binnie
11:13 AM, 25 July 2025
Picked something up from the cafe, unnie. Be back soon!
Neul smiled and hugged the phone to her chest. But just then, she was struck with just how needy she was being. Bin must have left the message, anticipating that Neul would be demanding her presence upon waking up.
Then again, something about the other girl makes her feel as if she’s allowed to be needy from time to time. Maybe…just maybe it’s okay to need someone by her side. To want someone there at all times.
But why does she need someone? And would Bin even want to stand by the side of a massive failure like her? She couldn’t even do anything right, so Bin would probably get tired of always having to do shit for her. Maybe if she didn’t get sick and wasn’t so useless…
But what if Bin knew that she was always at the top of her class? About the things she’s accomplished at work? That’s right! They always told her how she’s so useful and that they couldn't have done things without her!
But is that really true? It’s been two weeks and they seem to be doing just fine, no?
A soft but sturdy knock shook her out of her reverie.
“Come in.” She took a huge breath and exhaled through her mouth.
“You’re up!” Gunwook exclaimed after opening the door. “Happy birthday, noona.”
“Thank you, Wookie,” Neul beamed at the boy, welcoming the distraction.
“I got you a present, but I’m not sure if it’s your style…” the boy trailed off and handed her a paper bag.
“Can I open it?”
“Of course, noona,” Gunwook reassured her quickly. Neul then carefully undid the tapes sealing the bag. “Oh right, Bin-noona told me to go check on you every ten minutes, by the way.”
Butterflies fluttered about in her stomach at the words. When Neul stopped to look at the boy sitting on the sofa bed though, she was met with a mischievous expression. Neul just narrowed her eyes at him.
She fished out a soft and squishy object from the bag. It was a pink starfish Jellycat with perfectly sized obsidian eyes, and a cute smile to match.
“Oh Wookie, thank you so much,” Neul gasped out, her chest tightening at the thought of the boy remembering that time when they were wondering about their past lives. “It’s—I love it.”
“I wasn’t sure if plushies were your thing, noona but it just popped up on my feed that evening after we found out about your birthday. It just came in this morning, actu—ah noona, what’s going on?”
Neul was squishing the toy every which way with one hand, and wiped a few stray tears with the back of the other. “No, I just actually love plushies,” she breathed out in between sniffles.
Gunwook looked at her with a disbelieving look but handed her a tissue from her bedside desk, nonetheless. Neul graciously took it before she grabbed her phone to look for a certain picture.
“I’m not just saying that.” She handed her phone to Gunwoook. “This is from my room in Seoul. And this is just my bed.”
Gunwook was making cuteness aggression noises at her phone at the sight of her raccoon plushies when Bin came into the room. “Hey noona,” Gunwook greeted the girl.
“Hey Wookie. Were you taking care of your noona well?” Bin asked, eyeing Neul and her new plushie with a smile before she gasped out. “Unnie, what happened?”
“I’m just so happy with Wookie’s gift here, you see…”
“Oh!” Gunwook abruptly sat up straight. “I forgot to check noona’s temperature! But she seems fine to me so…” the boy shrugged.
Bin came closer and put a hand on Neul’s forehead. “Hey, I’m back,” she whispered. “Not as hot as before. Are you really okay, unnie?”
“Yeah I feel a bit better now.” Neul tilted her head to the side with her eyebrows raised. “I think I can get up to go downstairs?”
Bin hummed, bobbing her head. “That’s good. I actually brought some lunch. We can all go eat, if you feel like it.”
Neul nodded back. “Yeah, let’s go do that.”
An hour later, they were finishing up the gopchang and seaweed soup, prepared by Bin and her eomma respectively.
Bin suddenly stood up from her chair and exclaimed, “I just remembered something!” and walked to presumably get that something out of her tote bag. “Yujinnie actually got you this, unnie! Ran into him and his mom at the cafe earlier.”
“As expected from my favorite student!” Neul gasped and hugged the card close to her chest with both hands.
“He’s my favorite student!”
“Well, we can share him, you know,” Neul chuckled.
“Oh my god. Now I’m thinking about my professors discussing their favorite students,” Gunwook commented, thick brows furrowing together.
“Don’t worry, Wookie. I’m a hundred percent sure you’re someone’s favorite student,” Bin retorted without missing a beat.
Based on the stories the boy has told her about his uni life, Neul was sure that it wasn’t just an empty compliment. He did sound like every professor’s dream student. Her mind wandered though to whether she had become one of her students’ favorite teachers before.
“Did Yujinnie also send you a card last month?” She turned to ask the other teacher.
“Well he joined my students this year and wrote me a rolling paper, so…kind of?”
“Oh so he didn’t write a card with his own drawing for you?” Neul teased, barely able to stifle a giggle.
Their bantering continued on as the afternoon rolled out and became progressively hotter, even with the AC on full blast.
“Some popsicles would be perfect right now,” Gunwook lamented.
“A durian popsicle would cure my fever instantly,” Neul groaned. Her two companions shot her intense glares on the same beat, as if it was part of a choreography. “What?”
“Oh that’s not…”
✧✧✧
When the moon had begun its steady ascent and the temperature had dropped, Neul woke up from a relatively peaceful nap on the living room sofa. A special ringtone was blaring from her phone.
“Jiejie happy birthday!”
She was still blinking the remnants of sleep away and had just answered the call out of reflex, but she couldn’t help the lazy smile that found its way onto her face. “Hey didi. Thanks a lot.”
“Happy birthday noona! You don’t sound too good though,” Gyuvin butted in.
“Oh I just woke up.”
“She has a cold,” interjected Gunwook, who seemingly appeared out of thin air. “Hey hyungs!” he waved excitedly to the phone on Neul’s lap, and she finally noticed that it was a video call. She picked up the phone and brought it closer to the boy. “Oh no unnie, I just wanted to greet them for a bit,” he said, pushing the phone back. “See you later, guys!”
“I’m fine,” Neul reassured the two. “And that’s right. You guys talk all the time now, no?” She looked to her screen for confirmation.
“Well we do play the same games,” Gyuvin supplied.
“Plus we get juicy updates from him,” Ricky added, winking to the camera.
Neul made a face at that and turned to Gunwook for an explanation but he was already getting up from the floor. Suddenly, Neul remembered something. “Wookie, wait! Where’s your noona?”
“Oooh speaking of juicy updates!” Gyuvin said in a mock reporter voice, Ricky snickering beside him. Gunwook was also pursing his lips, obviously trying his best not to react.
“She’s just upstairs, unnie.”
“Uhuh,” she squinted at the boy. “Do you have anything to say to me?”
Ricky responded for the other boy. “Come on unnie, we support you guys. And we pried it out of him.”
Neul then turned to the screen. She chose her next words carefully. “First of all, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She then turned to Gunwook and smiled fondly. “Two, please don’t corrupt this boy.”
The pair on the other side of the call, having known her for almost a decade now, could tell that Neul wasn’t really pissed anyway. The softness, even through squinted eyes, was a dead giveaway, but they could tell it was time to drop it.
“Alright jie. We know you got this. But we want you to be happy, OK?” Not without Ricky getting one last word in, though.
How could Neul ever get mad at her not-so-little kitty and puppy (and now her bear cub, perhaps)? She looked at the three and sighed. “Thanks guys. But when am I going to receive my gift, hmm?”
The call went on for a few more minutes before Bin made her way to the couch, just in time for the two boys to say goodbye. Not long after, Neul’s phone rang again, and another pair of familiar faces greeted her.
“Happy birthday, princess,” a cool voice greeted her.
“Happy birthday, noona,” another deep voice called out.
“Thanks guys,” Neul responded with a smile that threatened to split her face. “My heroes, I miss you so much.” A chuckle was heard from the other end. “Are you still at the office?”
“Mmm. It’s just us here, though.” Taerae responded first.
“Well, what else is new, huh?” Neul rolled her eyes. “You guys are going out for dinner, right?” The two nodded. “Will you let me cover it? You guys can pick wherever.”
“Neul come on,” Jiwoong protested. “We’re the ones who owe you a dinner celebration.”
It was a valiant effort at refusing her. But it was a weak shield, and Neul could see the gaping cracks. She didn’t hesitate to pry it apart. “But that’s not how we did it back in my hometown, oppa.” She pouted, doing her best to look like a kicked puppy.
“Wooow.” The two howled in disbelief. They knew it was going to turn out like this, though.
“Fine. But I’ll do the same on my birthday, got it?”
“Deal!”
“You don’t sound too good though, are you OK?” Taerae asked, eyebrows scrunched together.
Neul straightened up, feeling defensive all of a sudden. “I do have a cold but don’t worry!” She looked to the quiet girl sitting beside her, out of the camera’s view. “Do you wanna…?” After Bin nodded, she tilted the phone towards her. “Bin is here, guys. She’s been taking care of me, don’t worry. Binnie, this is Jiwoong-oppa and Taerae, my knights in the office.”
“Nice to meet you,” Bin greeted with a shy smile.
“Likewise!” the two chorused and Neul tilted the camera so that both of them could be seen.
“Anyway, I’ll be fine, you guys. I have Bin here with me.” Neul declared placing a hand on the other girl’s shoulder.
Jiwoong nodded, grunting in understanding. “We’ll be heading out now, OK?
“Mmm. You guys take care!”
“We’ll see you soon, Neul.”
Neul ended the call after a final wave.
“They seemed nice.” The girl on her side remarked after clearing her throat.
“They’re the best.”
Bin pursed her lips. “Taking call after call…”
“It was just two calls!” Neul responded with an incredulous expression.
“Plus the other calls from earlier.”
“Wha—,” Neul sputtered. “From my mama and Rui? From my friends and family?”
“OK popular girl,” Bin held up her two hands.
“Come on, it’s for my birthday.” Neul continued to humor the girl, relishing in the energy of their banter.
“And you even got greetings from Gunwook’s friend!”
“Stooop,” Neul begged, clutching the other girl’s arm with both hands.
“And Matthew isn’t even in this country! And you’ve never even spoken to each other before!” Bin threw her hands about in an exaggerated manner.
Neul fell into a giggling fit, laughing into Bin’s neck who continued, “Meanwhile all I got for my birthday was just that rolling paper from my students.”
Neul pushed the ridiculous girl by her shoulder. “That’s probably not true!”
The short-haired girl made a face, and Neul noticed that she was about to combust, red blush spread from ear to ear. The night had turned chilly so perhaps it was from all the laughing?
“Anyway, do you have requests for dinner?” Bin asked after they both had composed themselves.
“Hmm. I think I’m actually just going to bed early?”
“But you still have to take your medicine,” Bin chastised the older girl with a pout.
After giving it some thought, Neul answered. “Some leftover congee would be lovely.”
Immediately, Bin lunged towards the kitchen. “Got it. You head to bed while I reheat it, unnie.”
Once Neul had gone to her room, she noticed that her sheets have been changed. Is that what—?
She didn't want to get ahead of herself so she distracted herself with a warm bath while waiting. She made quick work of scrubbing herself clean, worried that she might fall asleep in the tub if she took her time.
The girl didn’t take too long. A few minutes after putting on clean clothes, Bin came in with two servings of warm congee. Together, they ate in silence as they watched one more episode of Single's Inferno, only occasionally interrupted by Neul’s reactions and Bin’s giggles.
When Neul was brushing her teeth, she noticed Bin walking around the room, putting things one by one into her bag.
She was humming something under her breath. Lilting her head to her own melody, her hair swayed along. She walked to the dresser, towards the vase holding the bouquet from earlier, and moved some of the flowers around. Perhaps seeing Neul in her peripheral vision, she turned to meet her gaze.
Bin’s eyes glimmered with something undecipherable. Her smile, dimples and all, lit a fuse under Neul’s ribcage. She let the remnants of the explosion, along with the heat it brought, spread across her chest, and she breathed through the tightness. At this moment, there were no other voices in her head. There was only a silent prayer in her heart: please.
“Stay?” Her voice was quiet but it did not waver, just like her gaze.
The smile on Bin’s face shattered, and her eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Meanwhile, Neul did her best to ignore the heart that was threatening to beat out of her body. She stood her ground.
Mercifully, Bin didn’t allow her to overthink. “I’ll be happy to, unnie,” she responded with a small smile, eyes firmly locked with Neul’s.
“OK good,” Neul retorted before going back to the bathroom, heaving a silent sigh of relied. She stared at the mirror after washing her face.
Ricky’s words from earlier rang through her mind. When it came down to it, Neul wasn’t someone who went about things haphazardly. It seemed like everyone else could already tell. A part of her already knew, too.
Something had been stopping her, though. There were things clouding her mind from seeing what was right in front of her. First, it wasn’t what she came here to do. And second, she had no experience in these, uhm, matters.
All things considered, she had a great time on her birthday. And it was mainly the girl outside the door who had made it so.
With only the lamplight on, as she settled under the covers a few minutes later, she decided to be a little braver. Maybe it was wisdom that came with turning a year older that pushed her to do it. Maybe it was the lingering feeling from the show they watched. Maybe it was because she was too sleepy to think straight. Maybe it was none of those things.
“Cuddle me to sleep?” Neul asked. She chose the words cautiously, leaving no room for ambiguity.
Bin searched her eyes for something for a split second. “Of course, unnie,” she said before slowly lifting a blanket to get under them.
Lying on the right side of the bed, she held her left arm open and gestured to Neul who was still sitting on her knees. With a yawn, Neul then laid on the outstretched arm facing the other girl’s backlit face.
“Thank you for the sheets. For today. Really,” she whispered, a firmness still evident in her voice, even as she was fending off sleep.
For a few seconds, it seemed like Bin was just content to look at her face before she finally whispered back. “You’re welcome.”
A thought then seized Neul and she reached out for the plushie behind her. “This was my favorite gift today, but your flowers were lovely too, I guess,” she teased the girl with a smirk. She squished the expensive toy to her cheek, struggling to keep her eyelids open.
Bin gasped and facepalmed with her free hand. “Damn you, Wookie,” Bin hissed, prompting the girl lying on her arm to stifle the cutest giggle. “Don’t worry unnie. Next year, I’ll bake you a durian cake myself.”
Next year. The warmth from those words flooding her chest was the last thing that she remembered before dozing off, falling into the whirlwind that she knew so well.
Notes:
ruh roh luv my girls sm
Chapter 3: Something greater than before
Chapter Text
The swirling vortex of rust and gunmetal grey is as unforgiving as she remembers.
This time around, as a small mercy, she is on a boat and not being tossed around in the storm of all storms. She pulls an arm to shield her face from a strong breeze, finding thick and heavy chains tying her wrists down on the floor behind her back.
Feeling helpless, she frantically looks around. Nothing but the raging can be seen, the pale ammonia cirrus and the dense, deep orange clouds untiringly wrestling each other.
Finally, a faint glimmering catches her eye, tears pooling in their corners from relief. She could be saved from all of this. The only thing left to do now is to make her way to the vertical silhouette where the flashing light was coming from.
She searches the boat for a tool and she finds two wooden oars behind her. Although the cold mass of the chains weigh on her wrists, she reaches for them, and the length of the chains thankfully allow the oars to reach out into the thin terracotta liquid outside the boat.
With all her might, she rows towards the figure in the fog, keeping her eyes focused on the light. However, as she gets closer, she realizes that it's almost outside the calm of the eye of the storm, a truth reinforced by the gust of wind that blows her way.
Despite this, she trudges on forward and braves the gale. But as the lighthouse starts to become more visible, the boat is no longer making any progress, and the liquid they’re on starts to become more turbulent, more hostile.
Desperately paddling close to the harbor, frustrated cries of anguish rips out of her throat just when a violent flurry of wind hits the liquid, and causes the boat to fly into the air. She soars into an arc before her body promptly drops into the fluid, and the glacial temperature finally jolts her awake.
Breathing heavily, Neul blinked away the heavy tears that have crossed over realities and have found their way on her cheeks.
The sun filtered through the curtains, kissing her face as if helping her to dry the wet streaks. She reached out to touch them when she noticed the weight slung across her stomach. Looking to her right, she observed the calm face of the sleeping girl, and a cool hand immediately clenched around her heart, making the tears well up anew.
Carefully, she peeled the arm away and headed to the bathroom. She steeled herself before putting her hands under the running faucet and splashing them to her face. It was an unsuccessful attempt to pacify the disquiet in her mind. After brushing her teeth, she blew a shaky breath and looked at the mirror.
All she sees is the face of a failure, as that dream had made things clearer. It was the face of a parasite who couldn’t do anything on her own. What was she exactly expecting from the girl? Why couldn’t she just deal with things on h—
“Good morning, unnie!” The drowsy yet bright greeting rang out from the direction of the bed.
She can’t do this. Not now. She hurriedly wiped away her tears and grunted something. Her mind was still in a jumble, her thoughts unceasing in their assault, as the girl’s reflection came into the bathroom mirror.
“Are you feeling better, unnie?” Bin stepped closer to put a hand on her forehead but she dodged her and fixed her gaze at the tiled floor. “Is everything okay?” the worried voice came.
Her throat bobbed up and down as she schooled her expression. She finally managed a blank face when she looked up at the girl. “Are you,” she began, “leaving now?”
Just then, the concern on the other girl’s face quickly morphed into devastation and Neul realized her words probably sounded more frigid than they should have.
But maybe it’s for the best.
She had been selfishly clinging to the girl for two full days, monopolizing her time, taking her away from her friends, from her family. From the multitude of other things she could be doing with her valuable time.
“Oh. Yeah. I should probably go now.”
“Yeah,” she nodded back, her resolve shaking as much as the other's voice trembled.
✧✧✧
In the ensuing disarray, Neul rotted on her bed and just stared outside her window, fully taking in the serenity of the blue sky. Most of the clouds had rolled away from view, mirroring the fog that had slowly dissipated from her mind, leaving her with one fact: she had fucked up this morning.
The dream was not unprecedented, although there certainly were new developments to it this time. It also wasn’t the first time she had to deal with just how denigrating her thoughts could be. Sometimes it does feel like it’s going to be a life-long effort, especially now that she feels she has made leaps and bounds in progressing through just how hurtful she could be to herself.
But even the fact that she was able to shut these thoughts down in what was remarkable record time is a testament to how far she has indeed come. And see? She only engaged in one (1) self-destructive behavior. Progress. Neul scoffed at the thought.
It was a really big one this time, though.
All in all, she could have handled things better. She could have handled Bin better.
She knew in her heart, with boundless joy, that Bin was more than willing to spend time with her. From the weeks she’s spent with the girl, there haven’t been any indications that Bin was a person devoid of any agency, just following along with what Neul wants.
Far from it—she has challenged Neul every step of the way. She challenged her during their unserious banters, during their deep conversations. She challenged her even in just the way she lived her life.
Ultimately, Bin’s presence has become a beacon for her. She has shown Neul another way to live. She has shown her a harbor from the storm and Neul knew that she is close to her answers.
It’s just that when she woke up, she couldn’t shake the persistent thought that she was just using the girl, or that she would be dragging her into the mess that she should have fixed on her own a long time ago. She knows that’s not true now, after her mind has calmed down.
And she knows she is fully capable of getting out of her situation, and that she is deeply fortunate to have many people willing to support her no matter what her decision will be. It was truly just a matter of how and what she was going to do once she had achieved that.
Initially, that’s what she sought out to do here on the island on her break: to go inwards and decide what to do, for once and for all. A peaceful environment can lead to a peaceful mind, her friends had insisted.
When her stomach finally made a gurgling noise, she picked her phone up to check the time, among other things. It’s some time past 1 in the afternoon and Neul was feeling invigorated with ideas of exploring more of the island. Her fever had fully broken out last night, and she felt unstoppable, having made remarkable progress on her goal for the month. She's so close, she can almost taste it.
Before going down for a late brunch, she went to her messaging app to tell Jiwoong about the beginnings of a plan forming in her mind, when she caught a message.
Binnie
7:45 AM, 26 July 2025
I’m so sorry, unnie.
The dread hit her like a lightning. Although she has played the scene from this morning in her head multiple times, it only became clear to her how bad things must have looked like from Bin’s perspective.
Wanting to clear the misunderstanding as soon as possible, she shot back a quick “No, I’m sorry Bin” and dressed up to go to the cafe. Grabbing Gunwook’s umbrella with her, she jogged over to the place, but the usual voice that harmonized with the seashell door chime was not the one that greeted her.
“Hey eomma,” she addressed Bin’s mother with a forced smile.
“Hello Haneul, dear.” Clearly the smile didn't work because she asked, “Is everything OK?” a crystalline echo of her daughter’s concern from this morning.
“Oh,” Neul gasped. “Has Bin dropped by today?”
The older woman shook her head. “Is she not responding to her messages?”
Neul pursed her lips as she contemplated what to tell her. “Not yet?” was what she decided on.
“Don’t worry, dear,” she said, face calming into a smile. “I’m sure it will be fine. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me what you want for lunch? It’s on the house.”
Touched at the gesture, and considering the events that unfolded today, she relented to the kindness offered her way. “Thank you, eomma. I’ll have the rosé pasta please.”
“With the lemonade, right?”
“Mmm. If that’s OK please.”
“Of course. And oh! Happy birthday again, dear! I’m glad you’re feeling better today.”
Endlessly endeared, Neul finally laughed today. “Thanks, eomma. The seaweed soup was perfect.” It was the first time Neul had seen Bin’s signature expression on her, but she should have known. “Bin took care of me yesterday and made sure I still had a great birthday.”
“Aw, that’s my little girl,” she cooed. “But you tell me right away if she ever does you wrong, alright?”
Now that was an absurd idea, knowing the girl, but she humored the woman anyway. “I will, eomma.”
“Alright, dear. Now go ahead to your seat and I’ll bring your meal over to you in a while.”
“Thanks again, eomma.”
✧✧✧
However, she didn’t get any reply from Bin, even as Sunday morning rolled out. She went and had breakfast at the cafe with Gunwook this time, but Bin’s mom still barely had any news from the other girl.
“She says she’s too busy cleaning her house, dear. Probably since she hasn’t been home for a while,” the woman behind the counter giggled, totally oblivious this time to Neul’s inner turmoil at her words. She didn't let it get to her that much though, and she was able to put on a convincing smile this time.
“Right. I’ll see her in class tomorrow, anyways,” Neul laughed off. She does trust the other girl. She’s just worried. She hasn’t even let her mom or Gunwook know about her where she was.
As they dug into their brunch, she felt Gunwook burning holes into the side of her face. She turned to him and asked, “She’s fine though, don’t you think?”
“I’m sure she is, unnie. At least she told eomma something. I’m worried about you, though.”
“Thanks, Wookie. I know I shouldn’t feel guilty but…” Neul shrugged, unsure of what to say. Yesterday after she came back from the cafe, she ran into the boy. She told him that she had a fight with Bin and that she wanted to see her as soon as possible.
“Noona, I may not know exactly what happened, but something tells me it will be fine. I’ve known Bin-noona for my whole life and…” the boy hesitated, looking at her face for a beat longer before he knit his thick brows. “I’ve seen how she looks at you.”
Her cheeks warmed at the sentiment, but she gave the boy a feeble grin, not really sure how to put her thoughts into words, except for “Thanks, Wookie.”
“Well if you have nothing in mind today, noona, why don’t we take Changbokie out on a walk to her favorite spot, hmm? I don’t think you’ve gone to the forest by the river.”
“Oh yeah,” Neul responded, a realization dawning on her. “She would bark at us before going towards the trees sometimes.”
Changbok always came to their side after they didn't get up though, and Neul now felt sorry that they weren’t able to pick up on her hints. Wanting to make it up to the polite pup energized her to go on the walk, despite some thoughts weighing heavily on her.
“I’ve only seen it from the outside so no, I haven’t really been there. I would love to go, Wookie.”
The boy flashed her a wider gummy smile. “I’m sure Changbok would love it, noona.” He got up from his spot on their usual table, and tapped his thighs thunderously for dramatic effect.
“AH! Don’t startle me!”
✧✧✧
Reinvigorated from the relaxing stroll they took yesterday with Changbok, Neul decided to trust Bin as she marinated in her thoughts on their relationship for the time being.
In all honesty, she’s also banking on what Bin’s mom and Gunwook had told her, so she does her best not to worry about their situation too much. After all, it hasn’t even been two full days since the…fight? No. The incident?
This morning, after having breakfast prepared by Gunwook, she decided to walk around the town center to discover some spots on her own. Heading out in one of the white t-shirts she borrowed from Bin and a thrifted green cap, she walked to the direction of the river, only a few blocks from the house.
This time, she’s confident she can manage the short distance. She’s not lugging anything on her back, anyway. Her whole body was already aching a bit, though.
Yesterday, she walked and hiked with Gunwook and Changbok for hours on end, and the boy had told Neul that a less intense walk would help with the soreness she felt this morning. She wondered whether there were any massage spas on the island though.
The leaves on the trees rustled against each other, accompanying the crooning of the birds. The sun was out, but so were the clouds, tranquil and tender, soft in the shade that they provide. There was a soothing puff of wind, wafting the balmy scent of the earth and the flora. Wonderful doesn’t begin to describe the weather, and this was another reason why she went for a walk.
She remembered the night on her first walk on this island, when she was clueless about how to get to the guesthouse, clueless about the things in her life, about the things that were yet to come.
“Beep beep.”
Neul whipped around to see a familiar blue minivan, a breath caught in her throat from a small disappointment. The vehicle slowed down at her side and the passenger seat window rolled down. “Teacher Jang, happy birthday! Are you on the way to class?”
Her face genuinely brightened at the sight of the little boy, but before she can turn him down, a gentle voice cut in. “Let’s go together Teacher, don’t be shy,” Yujin’s mom offered with a lovely smile, and Neul couldn’t find it in her to protest so she got in and greeted them with thanks.
Yujin was eager to find out what she thought of the card and as she sang the child her praises, her mind wandered to whether Bin would be as happy to see her. The girl still hadn’t texted her and she hadn’t swung by to pick her up for the class, but Neul made a conscious effort not to fixate on it and went for the walk. The curiosity quickly snowballed into excitement, tipping past the point of giddiness that Neul found it difficult to conceal her smile. She’s finally going to see Bin.
The ride didn’t take long and she bounded for the practice room, with Yujin and his bag in tow, after thanking Yujin’s mom for the ride. Neul admired the colorful mosaic of the school building walls, a little exercise to focus her thoughts.
They walked through the door and immediately, she saw Bin crouching in front of the room, looking as radiant as ever talking to the kids huddled on the floor. Yujin lunged for the other girl and she finally turned their way to briefly hug the kid.
“I missed you, Teacher Sung!” the child shrieked and Bin burst into slightly confused laughter.
“You just saw me last Friday, Yujinnie!” She pat the boy on his head as she stood up and put her hands on her hips. “But I did miss you too,” she said in a hushed voice to the boy, finally raising her head to look at Neul.
There was an unreadable expression on her face, but Neul decided to try. “Hey,” she managed to breathe out.
“Hey,” Bin responded quickly with the briefest of smiles, before calling out to the children to begin the class. Neul took what she could get.
As the class unfolded, Neul did her best to treat it just like any other dance lesson. What she’s nervous about, she’s not entirely sure, a whole host of questions swimming along tide pools in her head. Are you going to talk to me? What should I do if you don’t? How bad did I screw this up? Will you hold me again?
Eventually, Bin and the kids took a break from the lessons and Neul was jolted out of her reverie by the silhouette approaching her. She usually waited to the left of the room, but this time, she stayed on the opposite side, where the kids’ bags and water bottles were. It was probably because of the misplaced notion of being Yujin’s guardian for the day. And so, mercifully, Bin was finally coming close to her, even if only to grab her water bottle placed on the table next to Neul.
“Hey,” Neul attempted.
“Hey…again,” the dance teacher replied, not sparing her a glance before drinking from her water bottle.
The feeling that she can make things right took root in Neul’s chest so she tried again. “I’m glad I came today.”
With almost comically slow movements, Bin put the cap back on her bottle and turned towards Neul with an indecipherable expression. “That’s nice to hear.”
It sounded flat and hollow but it wasn’t insincere. It sounded like it was all she could allow herself to say at the moment and Neul kind of understood. She flashed the girl a lopsided smile and nodded unhurriedly.
While Neul was chatting with Yujin about the boy’s soccer game on the weekend, Bin called on the kids to resume the class.
Unfortunately, the studio’s air conditioner chose this day to finally break down—the thing died all of a sudden and wouldn’t turn back on. It had been leaking since the past few days and they already called for a mechanic who won’t be able to come until this afternoon.
At the moment, Bin had 35 grumpy kids (and 1 adult) on her hands, too hot to do any proper dancing. She could already tell that the two stand fans wouldn’t suffice, and knowing that the day will only get hotter as the sun climbed the sky, Bin ultimately decided to cut the class short.
The dance teacher was muttering to herself about spotting something outside the school gates. They still have almost two hours of classes left, so she was probably thinking of the kids whose parents and guardians wouldn’t be able to pick them up just yet.
She told the kids to sit tight before she went outside and after a few minutes, she came back with a huge tarp bag with two watermelons and some cider drinks and milk.
“Are we making hwachae, Teacher Sung?” Yujin, ever quick to catch on to things, beamed.
“We sure are.” She smiled at the boy as she put down the bag on the table. “Alright kids, can we please grab our own chairs and sit down?”
As the kids did as they were told, Neul approached Bin. “You’re a genius.”
Bin was quiet for a while before responding to her. “It’s nothing, I’ve got 3 years of being a preschool teacher under my belt after all, you know?”
Neul quickly caught on to two things. One, that Bin had put her feelings aside for now, and two, that she had to help the girl with the situation at hand.
She then called out to the kids again. “Teacher Jang and I are going to prepare one bowl each, OK? Shall we see who will come up with the better tasting hwachae?”
Neul mock gasped at the provocation. “You’re on, Teacher Sung!” She welcomed the distraction.
Despite living on her own for a while, Neul had never been the best cook, but she knew her way around slicing ginormous fruits open with a knife. She also took pride in being a fruit-lover, so she grabbed the lone can of evaporated milk on the table.
“Loser will fulfill a request from the kids?” she suggested.
“That’s a great idea,” Bin replied, pursing her lips and they launched into preparing their own bowls, focus only broken occasionally by the children’s light speculation about who will win the friendly competition.
Minutes passed by quickly and soon, the taste testing began. The kids formed one line in front of each teacher as instructed.
“Kids, remember not to give away a reaction, OK?”
Neul giggled at the thought of the kids who went first accidentally influencing their classmates' decisions. Bin’s foresight as a teacher was no joke. She found herself admiring and adoring how she treated her job as an educator seriously.
One by one the kids tasted each bowl, most of them hiding their faces behind their hands in an effort to suppress their reactions and Neul’s heart almost burst at the sight. She didn’t mind losing if it meant she could make the kids happier.
She looked over to her side and met Bin’s gaze, her mouth set in a tight smile. Neul cocked her head in slight confusion, so Bin shook hers as if to tell her that there was nothing to be worried about.
The kids were all back in their seats and Neul remembered that she had to try what the other made. Using the ladle, she took some of the hwachae and put it in her bowl, as Bin did the same.
Chewing on the sweet and refreshing punch, she felt Bin’s gaze on her once more so she turned to her and declared, “I’ve made my decision.”
Bin nodded in agreement and turned to the kids. “Are you guys ready to vote?” she prompted, and they howled out their answer. “Alright then can we have a show of hands of who preferred my hwachae?”
Little hands shot up in the air and as Bin counted, Neul waved her hand to make sure her vote was included. Bin scrunched her nose briefly and faced the kids once again. “And who preferred Teacher Jang’s?” she asked, leaving one hand high up in the air as she tallied the responses.
The teacher let out an exaggerated sigh, much to Neul’s delight. “The winner, by 3 votes,” she began the announcement, “is Teacher Jang!” She clapped her hands and the children followed suit, breaking out in cheers and roaring applause.
Neul, who was only slightly shocked to know that she won, bowed towards the kids and then to Bin. “Thank you. Thank you. Please feel free to have some more,” she gestured towards the two bowls and the children fell into orderly lines in front of them again.
“I wasn’t expecting to lose,” came the voice beside her and Neul’s heart forgot to beat for a moment.
“Ah well you shouldn’t have let your guard down just because you work in the food industry and I don’t, hmm?” She quirked her eyebrow up as she faced the other, easing into their usual banter.
“You know I took it seriously!”
Neul snickered at the other’s accusatory expression. She was right, though. Aside from wanting to win the friendly competition, they did want the kids to enjoy their time and have a decent-tasting punch to beat the heat.
“What will they want from you, though?” she pondered out loud, looking towards the kids who had started to settle back into their seats with their paper cups and plastic spoons.
Bin looked at them as well, and shook her head. “No idea, to be honest. They’re good kids though, so I’m not that nervous.”
After all the hwachae was finished, Neul offered to dispose of their trash. The kids were also slowly trickling back after washing their hands.
“Now, what do you guys want me to do?” Bin was asking the kids as she approached the room.
Surprisingly, not a lot of kids had ideas. One girl who raised her hand answered before she got picked. “You should do a solo dance performance for us, Teacher.”
The other kids immediately told her off. “But she dances all the time already! Why don’t you draw something, Teacher Sung?”
Moderately shocked at the turn of events, Bin was at a loss for words. “I’m not sure if—”
“Wait, I got it! You guys need to trust me on this one.” Yujin commanded the attention of his classmates. Surprisingly, the boy turned to Neul. “Teacher Jang, you can play anything on the piano right?”
Neul, who was stuck in the doorway observing the whole thing, took a few steps closer to the kids. “I can try?” Neul briefly wondered if the kid forgot who lost their friendly competition. She turned to Bin who just shrugged her shoulders.
“Then Teacher Jang could play the piano while Teacher Sung sings this time!” Yujin’s voice called out from the corner, having already made his way to the instrument. Neul’s eyes widened and stared at the direction the voice came from, before searching Bin’s face for a reaction. The other was already meeting her stare, as if also checking if she would be fine with the set-up.
Seemingly finding her answer, she announced, “Well if everyone is OK with this, then I don’t see why not?” A strong gust of wind blew in from the open door before the cheering voices of the children were heard.
Everyone made their way to the corner while Neul approached Bin. “What did you have in mind?”
“I was thinking of doing the other song that IU and DO sang as a duet?”
Oh. “Let me double check the chords.” Neul scrambled to look for another task to focus on to distract herself from her thoughts and grabbed her phone.
After briefly scanning the first page she found, she seated herself behind the piano, Bin already standing by the side. The other girl looked at her and smiled, whisker dimples clear. “I’m ready when you are.”
Neul nodded and began to play the first few notes of the song as the children cheered out once again.
“I do, I do.”
Bin began to sing, bright voice filling up the space. Clearly someone who was comfortable with singing, she added tasteful adlibs to the simple but fast melody of the song. She had a huge smile on her face, and her eyes had turned into crescents as she sang the sweet lyrics. She even laughed at some points, missing some of the words.
Neul’s thoughts were racing a mile a minute while listening to the girl’s rendition of DO’s song. As she was doing her best to play the chords of the song at the same time, it dawned on her that she was looking at someone special, someone who had the world at her fingertips, someone who could take whatever it is she wanted from life. So why is she just here on the isla—
Wait.
That question was no good.
Neul’s eyes widened as the realization struck her like a tsunami hitting the coast—deliberately building up from the distant horizon and crashing onto the shore, destroying all of Neul’s misconceptions in its path. In its wake lay the ruins of the many self-imposed fallacies that have taken a hold of her for decades.
She had been a bit foolish, huh? It was quite a simple truth, after all. But for some reason, she couldn’t find it in herself to berate her mind for not making the obvious conclusion sooner.
There was nothing left to do but to shake her head in disbelief. She focused back on the girl standing by her side, whose voice was ringing out and whose eyes had a question for her, as if sensing the other’s inner turmoil. Neul just smiled back and turned her gaze towards the children. Some had their mouths open, while others were rocking back and forth, unable to contain their glee at the joyous performance.
At this moment, Neul's heart was full of gratitude for the girl.
“I do, I do.”
Bin ended the song with another run to spice the performance up. The kids cheered louder than ever at their teacher, who seemed satisfied with her own performance, judging from her expression after she did a little curtsy for their audience.
She then turned to Neul and gestured towards her with her arms. “Can we also please put our hands together for Teacher Jang?”
Neul stood up and also did a little curtsy for their appreciative audience who were clapping their little hands as hard as they could. “Thank you. Thank you!”
“See I told you guys my idea was gonna be good!” Yujin squealed to his classmates and ran to Bin’s side. She ruffled the boy’s hair, obviously delighted with the boy’s idea, as well.
Neul approached the two and also patted Yujin’s head before kneeling to ask the kid with a voice that’s loud enough to be heard by the other girl, “Did you know that Teacher Sung could sing really well, Yujinnie?”
“Yeah!” the boy beamed back at her. “She sings sometimes when she prepares our drinks at the cafe.”
“Is that so?” Neul remarked, turning her gaze to the girl whose hand was on the boy’s shoulder. “I had no idea. That was phenomenal.”
The other girl averted her eyes to the kids and smiled dolefully. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
Neul hummed in response and turned to the boy once again. “Thanks again for taking me to school, hmm?” she said, ruffling the boys’ sweaty hair with his towel this time. Just then, she caught Bin’s gaze on them in her peripheral vision, but the other girl quickly turned away.
Neul observed her for a beat as she wiped the beads of sweat off her face. “I think your mom’s already here, Yujinie. Thank her again for me please?”
“Okay!” the boy giggled before darting towards the door. “Bye Teacher Jang! Bye Teacher Sung!”
As Neul waved back to Yujin and told the other kids goodbye, she stayed rooted in her seat. Bin, standing to the side, took a swig from her bottle, excess water dripping down her chin to her neck, to the collar of her loose tank top.
The moment the last of the students filtered out, some unease settled in the almost empty room. She studied the short-haired girl. There was a look of determination clear as day on her face, and a nameless emotion churned in her gut.
Neul fought the feeling and decided that she had to try again, if it’s the last thing she had to do. “You really get hot easily, huh?”
She knew it was a pathetic attempt. It’s summer after all and they’re in a room with no air conditioning, for fuck’s sake. Of course she’d have sweat running down in rivulets down the column of her throat, pooling at her collar bones and oh.
No response was heard from the girl who put the lid back on her flask. Neul swallowed before saying her next words. “Funny how you easily get hot while I easily get very cold.”
Silence. It was now out in the open. Neul cringed inwardly at her own statement, but it was effective since Bin was now looking at her, an indistinct glint in her eyes.
“Unnie.”
“Why are you avoiding me?” Neul pleaded. She stood up, tipping her head to the side, imploring the other girl for answers.
Bin shot her a look of genuine shock and concern, before it morphed into an expression akin to sadness. “I wasn’t…I’m not avoiding you.”
Finally being able to see Bin broke the dam inside Neul, forcing her to say things she hasn’t even admitted to herself out loud. “Well whatever it is you’re doing, it's kind of making my chest hurt, you know?”
“Unnie I never wanted to hurt y—,” Bin reached out for her with both hands but decided to cover her face with them at the last moment. “That’s the last thing I want to do to you.”
“Then why are you…” Neul choked on her emotions.
The other girl ran her hands through her damp hair and took a deep breath.
“I like you, unnie.” She looked at Neul with an intense gaze, eyes sparkling with tears and trepidation. “You deserve to know.” Then she stared at the scuffle marks on the floor and finished the thought. “And I also wanted you to know.”
“Bin.”
“I understand, unnie,” the girl’s trembling voice forged on, resolve and resignation intermingling with each other. “It’s okay, I promise. I know it’s only been a few weeks and you’re going to—”
“Bin!”
“I’m sorry.” She swiftly turned her head to the side.
Neul finally reached out to wipe her tears softly, almost reverently. Bin flinched at the touch but let it happen at the same time. “Why are you sorry, baby?”
“For hurting you…and…it’s just…unnie I just want you to be happy.” She raised her head and looked Neul in the eye again. “To enjoy this vacation, to take your mind off things. So…so if you’re uncomfortable with m-me, then I won’t get in your way anymore.”
Neul took in the weight of the other’s words before she whispered, “Then what am I going to do with my feelings for you?”
“I don't kn—WAIT. F-feelings?”
“Bin,” Neul breathed out with a chuckle at the other’s predictable expression. “Do you have any idea just how happy you've made me?” She took the hands of the girl in front of her. “You…this is going to sound crazy, but you brought me here. And I’m so glad I came, because you’ve changed my life. You have changed it for the better.”
“Unnie…what do you mean?”
“I have something to tell you, baby. Will you listen to me?” She pulled the girl towards the chairs on the side as Bin nodded fervently.
“Do you remember when I asked you about wanting to do everything?”
“At the lighthouse?”
“Mmm. Well, I'm sure you're familiar with the weight of the things you’ve left undone, the weight of the lives you couldn’t live?"
"Yeah?"
"I…I think I have been a bit unkind to myself because of this? And the place I was in, it was quickly becoming an unhappy place to be stuck in. The only thing that’s making it bearable were my friends around me, and I’m truly grateful for them. They’re the ones who pushed me to take this break and think of what I should really be doing.”
“And you…know what to do now?”
“Kind of,” she breathed out. “Thanks to you.”
“Me?”
“Yes. You. The way you love your students. The way you love to make us drinks. The way you love everything you do. The way you did everything you loved." And Neul was not shallow to think that the other's life is perfect, but there was something special about the light the other gave off.
"Bin, you've made me think that I could fly? And that things will be okay as long as I listen here.” She put a hand to her chest.
Bin grunted in agreement. “And what that is telling you is…?”
“Oh,” Neul let out a brief giggle. “Well, I still have to work out the details.”
“OK. Tell me when you’re ready.” She gave a reassuring smile before her expression shifted. “Oh unnie, can I ask you one thing?”
“What is it, baby?”
A look of apprehension crossed the other’s face before she spoke. “That morning…after we…you—”
“Oh I’m really sorry about that, baby. That was…” she gently rubbed her thumbs on the other’s wrists as she tried to find the words. “I woke up from a bad dream and th-that was…My brain was being mean to me. But I shouldn’t have done that to you.”
Bin nodded in understanding. “Thank you for telling me, unnie. I was scared that I had done something awfu—”
“No. Bin, I’m really sorry, okay?” Neul cut her off, discouraging her from finishing the horrible thought. “It won’t happen again. If it does, I’ll handle it better.”
“Alright. I hope it doesn’t, unnie. But I’m also sorry for not telling you about anything. I should have replied to your message so we could have talked sooner.”
“Oh baby, it’s OK. And besides, if you’re really sorry then you can just give me a massage.”
It was after having lunch at the cafe, after grounding themselves in some semblance of normalcy by returning to their routine, that they decided to go to the river for an afternoon catching-up picnic. The massage can wait for until later.
Surrounded by sounds of crooning crickets, Neul declared to the girl lying on her lap, “We’ll figure it out together. Take it one step at a time. I think what we have to answer right now is what we want to do from here.”
“Like what we do with the time remai—“
“Just the time. I mean just what we want to do with our time, period,” Neul said, carding her fingers through the girl’s soft dark locks.
“Oh. For me I guess, I just want to spend meaningful time with you…”
“And that entails what exactly?”
“Something like this, I guess,” she gestured around them haphazardly.
“Like what, baby?” Neul giggled.
“Well, like me getting to know even more about you, and you calling me baby. Things like that,” Bin replied with a pout.
This time, a full-bodied laugh burst out of Neul’s body. “OK, OK. I guess I can do that.”
Bin pinched her thigh gently. “But what about you, unnie? What do you want?”
Neul put a hand over the one on her thigh, and softly rolled the other’s thumb between her fingers. “Actually, I want the exact same thing that you do.”
“Yeah?”
“I mean it. Tell me I’m not alone in this, but sometimes, I get this feeling that I know exactly what you want to do or say,” Neul said tentatively.
“I…” Bin’s brows creased in concentration, “get it, actually.”
“Right? And you misunderstanding me was only a fluke because you were missing a crucial piece of information about me that I had withheld from you.”
“You’re saying that if we knew enough about each other, we’d develop telepathy?”
“You’re so silly sometimes,” Neul flicked the other on the forehead lightly, causing the other to groan. She bent down and kissed the spot lightly. “But that’s a way to put it. And I know we talked about communicating with each other earlier but honestly…”
“Yeah I know what you mean…” Bin sat up to look at the other properly with a grin. “Though, I think it’s okay to say the obvious things out loud sometimes.”
“Like what obvious things?” Neul asked, suppressing a potentially catastrophic smile.
“Things like I like you, unnie. And you like me, too.”
“Uhuh. And?”
“And that I want to kiss the living daylights out of you right now.”
Chapter Text
“Are those mandarin ducks?“
“Oh the figurines?” Bin’s mom clarified, craning her neck to the direction where Neul was squinting.
“Yes, eomma. The wooden ones.”
Neul came over to the Sungs for a late dinner after they both helped out at the restaurant after today’s dance class. There was an influx of tourists on a Monday smack dab in the height of summer and this meant more customers for the cafe situated at the idyllic island center.
“Oh, yes dear. They were hand-carved gifts for our wedding,” Bin’s mom smiled radiantly at her.
“They mate for life, right eomma?” Bin chimed in. “Is that why they’re used as wedding gifts?”
“Yes, dear. They also mean peace, faithfulness, and…” Bin’s mom paused to giggle, “a lot of children.”
“…okay…”
“I remember seeing them at a student’s house before.” Neul was the one to break the short and only slightly awkward silence. “I was surprised to see that you also had them here. Then I found out that they're actually just winter visitors to my hometown and that they're from here. I’ve never seen them here, though.”
“Right! I've never seen any in Seoul either, but there's plenty of them here on the island!" Bin then pouted. “But I've only seen grey ones. Are they really that colorful, unnie?” She asked, referring to the figurines’ green, red, orange, and yellow markings.
“They actually are!” Neul supplied, nodding vehemently before creases formed in the middle of her eyebrows. “But if I remember correctly, if these two colorful ducks here are meant to be a couple, then they are actually a ga—“
"Rrrrring!”
“Oh, excuse me. I think I have to take this call.” Recognizing the special ringtone, Neul bowed slightly before stepping out of the home and into the hallway to take the call.
“Oppa? What is it?”
“Hey, princess. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news,” came the familiar deep voice.
“Are you OK? Where’s Taerae?” Neul hugged herself with one arm as the chilly night breeze blew her way. She turned slightly towards the direction she came from.
“We’re fine, Neul. Thanks for asking. I’m gonna go straight to the point, alright?”
“Mmm.”
“They’re saying you have to go back this Thursday, Neul.”
Neul didn’t have anything to say for a while and instead just listened to Jiwoong discussing the things she has to do once upon her return. She looked at the door, thinking of who were behind it.
“Neul, I truly am sorry.”
“It’s okay, oppa,” Neul finally managed. “I already know you tried your best.”
“I’m still sorry it didn’t work this time, princess.”
“It’s fine, really. I think I have my answer, anyway.”
“Yeah?” Neul can hear the smirk in his voice and can almost see the sparkle in his eyes. Jiwoong had truly only wanted what was best for her.
“Yeah I think so, oppa. I’ll tell you about it when we see each other, hmm?”
Jiwoong laughed briefly before responding. “I’m looking forward to it, Neul. I’ll see you soon. Take care, OK?”
“You too, oppa. And go home, already!” Neul added, betting on the odds that the other is still in the office.
“I will, I will. Thanks, Neul. I'll see you.”
Neul then whirled to survey the view before her once the call had ended. For a minute or so, she just looked at the fountain, the buildings around it, and the view beyond that she had come to know so well.
Time went by so fast, she thought to herself before going inside the door to deliver the news.
✧✧✧
Eight years ago was when it started on another summer day. Neul was standing on a scorching cement platform outside the arrival gates of Incheon International Airport. Barely seventeen, she was excited to test her limits in a new country, loaned violin and semi-fluent Korean in tow.
Eight years ago was when she met high school freshman Shen Ricky, one of her violin students on her part-time job, and his childhood sweetheart Kim Gyuvin. They quickly became inseparable, meeting even outside Ricky's lessons, a welcome respite from her course work as a Music Education major.
Seven years ago was when she decided to join a university organization for international students where they would often organize outreach events. It was where she discovered her passion for helping people from all walks of life with all kinds of problems, and it was when she decided to take up a double major in Social Work.
Four years ago was when she graduated after several fully loaded semesters balanced with her side gigs and immediately joined the research team of one of Seoul Metropolitan Council's brightest reformers, Kim Jiwoong. Feeling like she could do anything, her first year working was an experience she would never trade for the world. Every challenge thrown her way, she met with indubitable confidence and she had the achievements to show for all the hard work she constantly put in.
Two years ago was when the faintest whispers of never being good enough to do everything she wanted to do began to swirl around her gut. She drowned them out as best as she could, restlessly chasing praise after praise for the things she accomplished for other people.
One year ago was when the whispers turned into an unmanageable constant howling. It told her: she owed it to herself, her mother, to everyone around her to do so much more than she was already doing. To go beyond the boundaries of what was deemed possible for most.
One, no, it was an untold number of years ago when the formless fear of never being able to fulfill her destiny started to take root in her heart, tightening until Neul couldn't take the persistence of her unwelcome thoughts, and was just constantly feeling lost out at sea.
Eight years and nothing to show for it but her misery.
Eight years have passed and she sometimes felt like she was still frozen stiff on that platform, paralyzed by the fear of disappointing everyone who supported her.
Eight years since she saw the picture of that beach set against the backdrop of a quiet town in the airport's arrival area. An underrated tourist destination, the display touted. Neul grabbed her phone and took a photo. One of these days, she prayed, beaming at her phone, I’ll be able to see this with my own eyes.
A few months ago was when her friends urged her to take a well-earned month-long leave to give herself a break. She relented with a sigh and looked through her Pinterest board for all the places around the peninsula that she wanted to visit.
A month ago, she found nothing satisfactory and she opened her old computer files for notes she made when she was in university.
A month ago, she came across the photo again.
Three weeks ago was when she finally reached it on the dusk of another blistering summer day, her feet grateful for the solid ground beneath her.
Three weeks ago was when she began to gradually understand that maybe, having no limits doesn’t mean she had to do everything within her grasp. Maybe, being limitless just meant having the freedom to go after the things she loved.
✧✧✧
Though obviously feeling blue, Bin took the news of her only being able to stay for just one more full day as well as she could. With the promise of their first proper romantic date later tonight, (and at Bin’s house, no less), they went to Neul’s last dance class this morning.
She watched as the other girl polished the routine that they’ll be performing during their dance showcase on Friday, and she can feel the love sweating out her pores for the art, for the children.
Her gaze swept around the room. It was as clear as the day outside that the kids wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, and that means that in their little kid-hearts, they don’t want Bin to be anywhere else either.
A flood of emotion swirled around her chest. She found herself even more closely observing the other girl—the way she talked to her students, the way she moved her body to the beat, the way she did the nonsensical counting that all dance teachers do.
Neul thought Bin is unlike a firework, though she is just as starkly bright and passionate as one. No, her light was much more brilliant and lasting, just like that of a star. A heavenly body, with untold ferocity at her core that Neul has been allowed glimpses of.
When they wrapped up their cool down stretches, Yujin beelined straight to her and went through their little routine of talking about how well the boy did during today’s session. Bin, who was standing by the pair, looked on with a mixture of emotions Neul couldn’t quite identify as she drank from her flask and wiped her own sweat. Neul fully looked at the other girl and raised her eyebrows as if to ask her if she had anything to say. Bin stepped closer.
“Yujinnie, I think Teacher Jang forgot to tell you something really important,” she said with an uneasy smile.
“What is it Teacher Jang!” Yujin asked, looking at the two of them, while Neul shot the girl a confused look. She clicked her tongue once she eventually realized what the girl meant.
Neul was unsure how to say it though, but she tried her best. “So your performance is this Saturday, right?” The boy nodded. “Actually,” she stole another quick glance at the teacher for guidance and swallowed, “I won’t be able to make it, Yujinnie.”
“What happened?” the boy pouted, eyes widening and eyebrows raised to high heavens.
“Oh, uhm,” Neul stuttered, chest tightening at the boy’s worried expression. “I have to go back to work tomorrow and I’m not sure when I can come ba—oh, I’m so sorry baby.” Neul hugged the sweet boy as tears silently fell down his cheeks.
“B-but you said that you were gonna be here until the weekend a-and…and that you were gonna be there to watch our show,” he softly said in between his quiet sniffles into Neul’s shoulder.
Neul meanwhile looked at the other girl who mirrored her sorry expression. So tough love was also part of her teaching style, huh?
“Some things came up and I can’t fix them from here, baby,” she cooed as she rubbed the boy’s back. “I’m sure I can ask your Gunwook-hyung to livestream it for me, OK?”
For a moment, the boy only tenderly shook on her shoulder before he stood up straight and wiped away his own tears. If all students were as sweet and as emotionally mature as this boy, she’d consider becoming a grade-school teacher. “OK. I understand,” he nodded, eyes glued to the floor.
“Thank you, baby.” Neul rubbed the boy’s hair before leaning forward and whispering, “I’ll miss you so much when I leave.”
It was all she could manage to keep herself from crying as well, but that seemed to be the wrong move as Yujin fully bawled his eyes out and threw himself into Neul’s shoulder once more.
Completely at a loss for words, she met Bin’s gaze again only to see that the other was holding a hand over her mouth, eyes glittering with unshed tears.
“Teacher Sung? What happened?”
Hushed voices exchanged words with each other as Bin explained the situation to Yujin’s mom.
“Your mom’s here, baby,” Neul told the boy as she moved to stand up, but the grip on her shoulders only tightened. “No?” Neul squeaked, unsure of what to say, before she put her hands on the back of the boy's thighs and stood up with him in her arms.
“I’m sorry about this Teacher Jang,” the woman told her with an apologetic smile. “And thank you so much for always taking care of my baby. We’ll both miss you,” she added as she took Yujin from Neul’s hold.
“Of course, Mrs. Han,” Neul responded with a wet smile. “You guys take care on the way home. Bye, Yujinnie.”
The boy, whose head was now nestled in his mom’s neck, only nodded in response, probably too heartbroken to spare her even a parting glance, and Neul fully understood the feeling.
Once Neul’s mom had walked out of the classroom, Neul immediately lunged for Bin and wept in her arms wordlessly for a few moments, with the latter whispering her apologies as she soothed her with kisses to her forehead.
“I was afraid something like this might happen,” Neul told the other after she had calmed down, right ear pressed to the other’s chest.
“I know. But I had a feeling you didn’t know just how much that kid loves you. I’m still sorry for putting you on the spot though, unnie.”
“No it’s…thank you,” Neul nodded as she continued to wipe her tears away. “I just had a great time with everybody here, you know?”
Bin met her eyes as she looked down on the other. “Yeah. Imagine if you announced it to the whole class. I don’t think I would've been able to handle all of that.”
“You really think they’d all be sad I won’t be able to watch them?” Neul whispered, a quiver of anticipation in her voice.
“You’d be surprised. I think they all wanted to be closer to you. It’s just that Yujinnie was always always hogging you.”
“Don’t badmouth my baby,” Neul snickered as she thumped one fist to the chest of the other girl, who was also giggling.
“It’s true! Even I couldn’t get a word in sometimes.”
“You’re so stupid, I swear,” Neul snorted, thumping the other’s chest once more, accepting her statement as the joke that it clearly was.
✧✧✧
This time, they deviated from their little routine and they headed to Bin's place after lunch at the cafe. The sunlight was filtered through fluffy clouds that allowed for a leisurely stroll all the way from the guesthouse.
After half an hour or so, they arrived at the modest detached dwelling situated not too far from the riverbank. The interior was mostly cream with pops of color. There was a yellow accent wall to the left of the entrance, where a huge TV was mounted, and pink polka dot and air plants were strategically placed around the living room. It was as inviting as its owner's smile.
"Welcome to my home, unnie."
"Wow. It only took you three weeks to invite me over, huh?" Not giving the other girl the opportunity to respond, she plowed on, leveling the now-scarlet-faced girl with a teasing grin. "And you really waited before I was almost leaving."
Clearly flustered, Bin was at a loss for words for a few beats. "I-it was a mess until last week, unnie…" was what she managed to say.
Truthfully, Neul wouldn't have cared. She's not a huge fan of doing house chores, but she might have even helped with tidying up. She could tell Bin hadn't gathered her thoughts yet though, so she stayed quiet and patiently waited.
"Do you like it?"
A lot has been left unspoken by the anxious girl so Neul reached out for her hands. "I love it. Especially that couch. It looks particularly inviting." She gestured towards the black velvet furniture with a nod.
"OK…" Bin turned the airconditioning on and and sat down on it, putting one of the throw pillows on her lap. Neul followed suit and picked up a pink pillow and hugged it to her chest.
Neul pouted and turned to the other. "What's on your mind?"
The girl stared at her and gulped audibly. "I just can't believe you're here, unnie."
"Well, I'm glad I am." Neul drawled as she leaned back on the arm rest.
"Y-yeah?"
"Bin."
"I know you don't have any ulterior motives for bringing me here," Neul offered with a gentle grin.
All of a sudden, the short-haired girl raised the pastel blue throw pillow to her face and mumbled something.
"What was that?" Neul giggled and gently guided Bin's hands and the pillow down from her face.
"I said…I actually do…" Bin told the pillow on her lap miserably and Neul had to suppress a guffaw.
She cupped the other's left cheek. "You know what I meant, Bin."
"Yeah, OK. Thanks, unnie."
"Can I please get a kiss?" Neul tilted her head to meet the other's downcast gaze.
The girl sat straight and looked her in the eye. "Of course," she stated with a small smile before two warm hands wrapped around Neul's waist and even warmer lips pressed against hers.
Neul slung both of her hands around Bin's neck and kissed her back with fervor and exhilaration in equal measure.
She had little to no experience, but she let her gut guide her and followed Bin's lead. The hands on her waist wrapped around her back tighter and she gasped at the thought of being even closer to the girl. Bin didn't miss the opportunity and devoured the opening, licking into Neul's mouth and sucking on her bottom lip lightly.
Neul's head was spinning from the pleasant buzz radiating throughout her body and she couldn't help the whine that escaped her lips. Bin immediately pulled away, swollen lips forming a recognizable o-shape.
"What?"
The girl didn't respond and only collapsed on Neul's shoulder, hot breath tickling sensitive skin.
"Baby…"
"You're gonna kill me, unnie," Bin sighed against Neul's neck.
✧✧✧
Aside from more makeout sessions, the rest of the afternoon was occupied by a complete tour of the rest of the house—the bedroom with a king-sized bed, an empty room that served as Bin's walk-in closet, a fully decked-out kitchen, the bathroom—and a Street Woman Fighter marathon on the couch.
After they had the dinner that Bin cooked for them, they went to another part of the riverbank which was only a block away from the place.
“Last weekend, I finally went into the forest. Did you know that it was Changbok’s favorite spot for a walk?” Neul turned to the other, her smile lit up by the lamplight above their heads.
“Oh my gosh! Is that why she kept barking towards the forest entrance?”
“That's right! We were too stupid to understand her.”
“I think even if we understood her, we would’ve been too lazy to get up from our spot,” Bin countered and the two burst out in laughter.
After Neul was able to compose herself, she fixed a more serious look to the other. “It was really pretty there, though. I wonder what it would be like at night…” she trailed off, thrilled at the prospect.
And Bin doesn’t disappoint. “Do you want to find out?” the girl breathed out into the dark of the night.
Neul turned to her and smiled. She said nothing as she laced her fingers with the other’s and walked towards the entrance.
The stroll was quiet, save for the sound of the critters of the forest and the howling of the wind. This time, Neul was prepared—she was insulated by a borrowed black hoodie and the hand enclosing hers.
They made it through the entrance without a single word exchanged between them. It wasn't a sacred silence. It was a silence that spurred them to admire the ambience that surrounded them.
The light of the waxing gibbous streaked through the leaves of the trees and illuminated Bin’s features: her arched eyebrows, impossibly long lashes, ruddy cheeks, and her soft lips, all bathed in silver ribbons of moonlight.
“You’re so beautiful, Bin. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that before,” Neul huffed at the other.
Bin was speechless for a beat before her face broke out into a fond expression. “Thank you, unnie. But you…you're breathtaking,” Bin fired back.
Neul shook her head with a grin. "No, you were the one who took my breath away literally this afternoon."
Predictably, a blush began to spread across Bin's cheeks at the statement, and she pulled Neul closer and embraced her tight, slotting her face in the crook of the other's neck.
“On that night after we met each other," she mumbled, "I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Neul couldn’t say the same since she was preoccupied with other thoughts that same evening. Although of course, she also wanted to meet the gorgeous girl on the scooter that saved her ass. Good thing luck was on her side.
“I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone like you at all,” is what she chose to tell the other instead. It was the plain and simple truth.
“Unnie,” Bin gasped out and stood straight. “I think I fell for you immediately after we talked at the cafe that next day."
Neul let out a tiny snort at the remark.
"Seriously! I couldn't believe what was happening, and I barely knew what to do with myself. Could you tell?” The other girl was positively radiant as she beamed at Neul.
Neul recalled that day vividly. They fell into each other easily, though indeed there were moments when Bin was a stammering mess. It endeared her to Neul endlessly.
“I had what I thought were delusions. I couldn't believe it, either, but I told myself I was here for something else." She then fixed the girl with a genuine look. "I stood no chance against you at all, though.”
“Yeah?”
“But to tell you the truth, I think I was also holding back because a part of me felt like I would be using you…"
Bin was nodding at her, eyes trained to every tick in Neul's expression. There was a depth in them encouraged Neul to finish her thought.
"…to fix my problems…to heal from my self-inflicted wounds…”
Bin’s smile turned from warm to adamant with a downturn of her brows. “You can use me, if you’d like. I can take it. But I don’t think it’s like that at all, unnie.”
“Bin…”
“Now that I know more about you, unnie, I can even help you even better.” The other girl took both of her wrists in her warm hands.
Neul hesitated at the weight of Bin’s words. “I don’t know if I deserve that…”
“You do!”
Neul startled at the other’s loud voice.
“Sorry, unnie,” she giggled before continuing. “You deserve the world, everything you seek from it. Just help yourself to it. Please believe me,” Bin implored her with her earnest gaze.
Neul searched the girl’s eyes for an answer to her question and found it. “I'm gonna try."
"Yes. Please."
"But this goes both ways, Bin. If there’s anything I can help you with, you tell me whenever.”
Bin nodded back at her. “Don’t worry. I have so much to give to you, unnie."
Her eyes swirled with an intense vitality. As the other girl pulled her closer, Neul thought this was a whirlwind she wanted to be swept in.
"But at the same time, there’s also so much I want from you," she sighed into her ear.
Neul’s cheeks heated up. She took small comfort in the fact that Bin couldn't see her right now. On the other hand, it was more than comforting to hear that she’s not alone in conceiving those thoughts.
“Like we’ve said, we just have to talk to each other openly about these things.”
The other girl made a noise of agreement and pulled away. “In case you’re doubting it, let me tell you. You have so much to offer to me. To everyone. And you just have to be yourself.”
“Thank you. That means a lot, Binnie.”
“We’re all very lucky to have you in our lives now.”
She has kept the other girl at a distance for misguided reasons. First and foremost, there was her fear. But with Bin’s serene gaze of certainty, Neul resolved that there was absolutely no place for it in their relationship.
“OK.”
“OK what?” Bin clarified with a barely-there giggle.
“Let’s do this thing together then,” she whispered as she stepped out of the shadows. She reached for the girl bathed in the moonlight, and found her lips to press against her own.
✧✧✧
The orange leaves glowed in the light of the early morning sun as the two girls traipsed the way to the apartment from Bin’s place, their conjoined hands gently swaying between them.
Neul turned to the other girl, seeing the first light of the solstice sun washing Bin’s awestruck features in a delicate glow, mirroring Neul’s expression. Exchanging giggles as they rubbed each other's fingers, no words needed to be said between them.
With a little over an hour to spare before she had to be at the pier, Neul walked down from her room with her backpack. She inhaled the garlicky smell of whatever Bin was cooking for her.
“Got all your bags, noona?” Gunwook greeted her from his seat at the dining table.
“My only bag, you mean?” Neul snickered as she placed the backpack on the living room couch and walked towards the boy to sit with him. “Are we having garlic fried rice with these fried eggs?” she called to the other girl.
“Yup. Will that do?”
“Of course.” Neul shot Bin with a shy smile before turning to Gunwook with narrowed eyes and a suspicious grin. “Did you tell her about that first breakfast you cooked for me, Wookie?”
“What? What first breakfast?” Bin whipped her head around again.
“Oh that’s right!” Gunwook’s eyes lit up in recognition. “The morning after noona first got here, I had this same breakfast with her.”
“Oooooh then it’s time to find out who’s the better chef between us two, Wookie.”
“We all know yours is already gonna be much better, noona,” Gunwook huffed out as he looked at Neul with a knowing smirk, which Neul returned before shaking her head.
“It’s not fair to compare a college student’s cooking with that of a professional who works in the food industry, anyway,” Neul remarked, amusement coloring her voice.
Bin sputtered as she brings the garlic rice she just transferred to a plate to their table. “Wha—stop saying that!”
“Yeah we know you only do the drinks anyway, noona,” Gunwook said while patting her shoulder, causing the three of them to break out in uncontrolled laughter.
They dug through the simple breakfast paired with some extra banchan (“It really is like my first breakfast now”) as they talked about anything and everything.
"I've been meaning to ask this," Neul began after taking a swig from her morning coffee. "Are teachers allowed to have tattoos?"
Bin momentarily looked at the inked text on her inner right arm and turned to Neul. "It's not exactly prohibited. Why do you ask, unnie?"
"Well I was just thinking about how tattoos are not allowed in our office, but my boss has a hidden one."
"Oooh that's kinda cool," Gunwook commented. "He's a politician, right?"
"Yeah. He's really a different breed, though."
"Do you also want to have tattoos, unnie?" The girl had a hopeful glint in her eyes.
Neul has considered it before, when it came up in separate conversations she's had with Jiwoong and Ricky. "A dragon would be nice," she said concealing a smug grin with her hand.
"Really?" Gunwook looked like he could barely contain himself, and looked to Bin who had apparently turned into a block of marble.
"I'd love to have one on my back." She heard Bin mutter an expletive under her breath and it only encouraged her to continue her charade. "And it will be a big one so it will occupy my whole back and it will be running down my butt." She stood up in her seat and turned around to illustrate while Gunwook finally caught on, howling out a hearty laugh.
Bin blinked at the pair cracking up like hyenas and plainly stated, "I thought I was about to pass out."
"We could tell, noona." Gunwook clapped her on her shoulder. "We could tell."
✧✧✧
Neul was standing at the doorway waiting for Bin to come back with her scooter when Gunwook passed by her, Changbok following closely behind. Like clockwork, Neul squatted down to pet the fluffy baby.
“My sweet girl. I will miss you so much,” Neul cooed at her, patting Changbok’s head as she whined back at the girl.
“She will miss you too, Noona.” Gunwook told her. Neul's chest started to tighten at the prospect, and she stood up only to see that the tall boy’s eyes were already shining with unshed tears.
“Wookie,” she breathed out as she took him in her arms.
“Ah really, I don’t want to cry, noona,” Neul heard him mumbling, his grip on her shirt tightening, so she rubbed his back in return.
Just then, a bark from Changbok was heard, followed by a honk.
“Ready to go?” Bin directed at the three figures by the door, a lopsided grin gracing her face.
“Just a second,” Neul replied before turning back to Gunwook to kiss him on the cheek and bending down to do the same to Changbok. “I had the best time here thanks to you guys.” She smiles kindly at the boy, who only nodded mutely. “Let me know when you're back in the city, Wookie.”
“I would love that, noona,” Gunwook eagerly replied, a smile finally making its way to his face, nodding once before heading off to his walk with Changbok.
A few steps away, he turned around and yelled “Take care, noona,” complete with a heart he formed over his head with his two arms. Changbok barked towards her direction and the two headed across the fountain.
Neul exhaled through her mouth as she walked towards the scooter where Bin was waiting for her, green helmet in hand. The fountain was now running and shopkeepers were already starting to prepare for their day. She stood by as Bin stowed her backpack in the box, taking in the the plaza that was beginning to bustle with life.
Finally, she got on behind Bin and embraced her with a tight grasp, laying her head between the girl’s shoulder blades. “Let’s go,” she whispered.
Bin wordlessly put a palm flat on the other’s entwined hands around her waist, before kicking the stand and taking off towards the pier. The ride was as calming as it can be, with the morning breeze caressing Neul’s cheek and blowing her hair behind her.
She took in the scenes going past her quietly, the sun kind and warm on her back, and there was no sign of impending desolation from the sky. The rice fields swayed gently in the calm wind and the mountains behind them were as still and sturdy as ever.
They were later replaced by the sea, where the waves were rolling to the shore in beautiful blankets of foam. Birds were cruising over the open sea, searching for food, or searching for a place to land on, Neul wasn’t sure but she hoped that they get what they want out of this life.
They arrived after a few short minutes and Neul blinked away the tears in the corners of her eyes, before holding Bin’s outstretched arm and taking her own helmet off. She held it in her hand for a moment, and Bin turned to her with a puzzled expression.
Neul just shook her head and took in the other girl as she scampered to the back to complete the little ritual that Neul tweaked. She’ll be damned if this was going to be the last time she was ever going to experience it, but she thought she’s allowed to be sentimental about the whole thing, anyway.
Bin put her backpack on one arm, and caught Neul smiling at her before motioning with her head to walk towards the boat. Neul inhaled deeply and followed the other girl, reaching for her free arm.
“Hey, so…” she began as she swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I know we said to communicate…but I think I will be really busy for the next few days.”
Bin stopped walking to look at her, really look at her for a moment before touching her right cheek with her free hand, and Neul found the strength to continue from the warmth of the palm she’s nuzzling.
“And this is me, uhm, communicating that I will try my best to call, okay?”
“Thank you for telling me, unnie. I’ll be here,” Bin replied with a blinding smile. Behind her, the rush of the waves finding their home on the shore could be heard and she reached to the hand on her cheek as she squeezed her other hand in a silent prayer.
Thank you for finding me.
She laughed at her own thoughts because truly, the girl has found her in more ways than one. The possibility of being left out stranded once again struck her like lightning out of nowhere, but the ocean around them was blue and the early morning breeze was mild and merciful and the hands holding her own were warm and steady.
“What are you thinking?” Bin whispered.
Neul snorted lightly and whispered back, “Thank you for being here.” For existing. For being. Bin’s eyes shone with tears and something else, and the wind told Neul that she knows, before she was quickly engulfed in a devastating embrace.
“Thank you for coming here.”
“Mmm.”
“Take care, unnie.”
“Mmm.”
“I lo—”
“I’ll be back,” she abruptly wrested herself from the warmth and looked at the girl with conviction and a smile, which the other returned in earnest.
Bin nodded with a pout and told her, “Take care out there.”
“I will,” Neul replied with an open palm, gesturing for her backpack.
“Go get ‘em,” Bin added as she turned the bag over and they erupted in giggles over the corny line.
Neul composed herself and locked eyes with the other. “Bye, Bin.” The other girl waved without a sound, everything left unsaid between them clear on her face. Neul nodded once and moved to turn away when Bin pulled her back and seared a brief kiss on her lips.
Neul blinked at the girl and scoffed once before smiling and walking towards the boat, quickly finding a seat by the window upon entering. After settling the bag on her lap and putting her headphones on, she saw the girl still standing by the pier so she took out her phone to shoot her a quick message.
7:28 AM, August 6, 2025
You’re gonna be late for class.
She watched intently as she took the phone out of the pockets of her cargo pants and Neul could clearly see the other’s shoulders shrug up in amusement. Moments later, she read the reply.
Binnie
7:30 AM, August 6, 2025
Wow you’re so communicative!
So silly. Neul giggled softly, and it took every fiber of her being to resist the impulse to press the call button. She hugged the phone instead to her chest and stared at the figure as the boat glided away from the dock. She glowered at the scene until it was swallowed by the sea and the sky and she looked up thinking it will never be the same. Under the same sky was her person waiting, and she knew she could make it.
Had she dreamed the whole thing? In all honesty, and she told Bin as much, she was the last thing she expected from her trip. It was all too good to be true if you think about it, her getting so much more than she bargained for.
But she reached out inside her shirt to look at the golden compass rose pendant on the necklace Bin gave her last night. And she could smell the other girl's perfume on the collar of the borrowed flannel that enveloped her.
One minute, it was a wish she didn’t even dare whisper and the next, it became a star in the shape of a beautiful girl who upended her whole world.
Something like this, is a desire you can indeed long for in the quiet of your heart but it's not a thing you can beckon to come, Neul though. So in a sense, she felt found, rescued, and that doesn’t mean weakness—she doesn’t have to do everything alone, she knew that now. Understood that as a fundamental truth.
All that’s left for her to do is to run towards the horizon where her very own happiness lies.
Notes:
Just the epilogue left! Will be posting it whenever Neul can wrap up the loose ends hehe
flamesbond (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 20 Jul 2025 10:55PM UTC
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Wallflour on Chapter 4 Wed 13 Aug 2025 03:43PM UTC
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