The Official Cast Reaction

by Prior_System

Summary:

V Potter is the story of Murder Drones characters reincarnating into Harry Potter. My Drone Academia is the story of Murder Drones characters reincarnating into My Hero Academia. The Miraculous World of Cyn is... you get the pattern.

Now let's have the original casts react to this new nonsense.

Notes:

• Inspired by (V) Potter and the School of Magic by Prior_System
• Inspired by My Drone Academia by Ernand, Monsieur Otter (Grayashura)
• Inspired by The Miraculous World of... Cyn? by Prior_System
• Inspired by In A Manor Of Speaking by Prior_System

Well... this is a thing now, this might as well happen. There should be five chapters of VP, then a chapter of MDA and so on until the end of Year One, at which point TWMOC will show up in the rotation.

Mind you, this is all subject to change.

...also, if you've read our other fics, you might recognise Penny. She's been... busy.

Chapter 1: VP 1 - The New Humans

There was a flash of light. 

Harry sat bolt upright, blinking, before relaxing. No, he was still at the Burrow. That must have been a faraway thunderstorm or-

There was a scream from downstairs. 

Immediately, Harry was out of bed and racing down the stairs, wand in his hand- he wasn't sure what he would do with it but it was already in his hand and he'd figure it out once he got there- 

He skidded past the banister and stopped. There, by the back door, was Mrs. Weasley, who was simply staring outside in a trance. Harry also stared, if he was being fair. 

The Burrow wasn't... it wasn't... 

Thundering footsteps from the stairs signified the arrival of the rest of the Weasleys, and Hermione, who also stopped and stared. 

“...But that's impossible,” Hermione said weakly. 

The sight that greeted the shocked witches and wizards was that of a forest clearing. Clearing of a forest that definitely hadn't been there before. And in the sky...

There was no sun in the sky, just a hole edged in gold. It cast the forest clearing in an eerie yellowed light. Somehow, in some manner... 

The Burrow had been transported elsewhere. 

⚡

 

The residents of the Burrow stared in befuddlement at the alien scene before them. 

“Too much?” someone asked. 

Heads turned.

Someone was leaning against a tree. From afar, they looked like a little girl in a suit. 

“You are outside of time, in case you were wondering,” the figure said, standing up straight and grinning. They walked forward and several eyes widened - it wasn't a little girl at all, but a being made of metal, glowing red and green eyelights staring at them from a dark visor. “You can stay here for however long I want, and return whence you came milliseconds after you disappeared. Nobody will ever know you weren't there for a bit.” 

“What is this place?” Mrs. Weasley hissed, actually hissed , and Harry's grip on his wand tightened. 

The being considered them. “This is the Faerie Realm - one of them, anyway. You may know this one's Name as Penny. Your own are already known to me.” 

“And what do you want from us?” Mrs. Weasley asked cautiously, but with steel in her voice. 

‘Penny’ smiled. “Reactions.” 

... huh?

“There is a Timeline far different from yours,” Penny elaborated, “but with enough similarities for you to understand the basic story beats. Imagine reading a book on your life... but some of the names have been changed, and people are doing different things.” 

“...Like the Harry Potter storybooks that have nothing to do with me?” Harry asked sardonically. 

Penny smiled. “ Precisely. ”

“...all you want from us...” 

“...is for us to read...” 

“...a crummy old story?” the Twins asking, alternating their speech as usual. 

“I wrote most of that story, you know,” Penny replied slightly reproachfully. “Now, you can go eat your breakfast, and we can begin.” 

⚡

 

The breakfast was subdued, as everyone had their own thoughts on things. 

“Can we trust her?” Hermione finally asked. 

“I don't know,” Mrs. Weasley replied, even as she fussed around the room. “We'll read her story, but keep your guard up, all of you. This isn't an ordinary fairy, this is something much more dangerous.” 

“ Great, ” Ron grumbled. Privately, Harry shared the sentiment. 

 

⚡

 

“You know, there really is nothing to fear,” Penny commented as they all filed out of the house, wands at the ready. “I'm nowhere near as dangerous as my kin - I'm simply overly dramatic by default. Now, are you all ready?” 

There was a series of determined nods. Penny smirked. “Don't worry. I won't make you read. I'll just make you... experience. ” She snapped her fingers, and the world faded away, only to be replaced by another one, images all around them, and a narrator besides. 

It took V an embarrassingly long time to figure out she was a human now. 

 

“Who's V?” Ginny asked, only to be shushed. 

When she found herself surrounded by humans larger than her demanding that she do chores, she had simply accepted that this was some kind of robot hell and she probably deserved that.  

“...oh that poor girl,” Hermione whispered. Harry was ambivalent, but he did realize that the ‘larger humans’ looked awfully familiar. 

It was only about a year later, when she realized that she had grown, that she accidentally looked into a mirror. (She usually avoided those. Didn’t want to chance any Solver infection waking up, breaking it, and alerting the humans.)

She didn’t really recognise herself, at first. She was human now, small enough to be mistaken for a child - no, not mistaken, she *was* a child. Her hair, although she had realised it was darker, was in fact gunmetal grey, and far messier than she was used to - annoying, that. Her eyes were human, but still a familiar yellow - she'd probably never escape that colour, honestly. And-

“...Solver...?” Hermione muttered in confusion as Harry narrowed his eyes at the girl. She also looked familiar somehow... 

“She kinda looks like you,” Ron whispered. 

...She did, didn't she? 

V doubled back from the mirror, suppressing a horrified gasp. There, on her forehead, was a faint, pale scar in the shape of the curved Absolute Solver sigil. 

It had followed her into this new life. And she had absolutely no idea what to do. 

“...She's me, isn't she?” Harry asked, feeling resigned. 

Across from them, Penny grinned. 

The scene changed rapidly, a horrific face flashing in between. A glowing X stretching across the face, a mouth stretched into an inhumanly wide grin - and it was gone, as suddenly as it appeared. 

Once V stopped panicking (and she had to do it fast before the other humans noticed), she was able to think over it more rationally. She'd been here for a while. The scar was clearly quite old. The mirror didn't crack. And she was human. 

So... maybe... the Solver was dormant?

“Whatever this Solver is, it's clearly important somehow,” Hermione muttered. “But we'll have to keep watching to find out.” 

She wasn't going to ask anything from her human masters, though, because she wasn't that suicidal. Probably. 

Ron looked at the girl with a furrowed brow. “...mate, if she's a version of you, aren't those ‘human masters’ your relatives?” 

“I was trying to ignore that, thanks,” Harry muttered back. 

...okay, human bodies were fragile (she'd seen the bruises on Tessa) and she wasn't sure how violent her masters were capable of being. She also didn't have any of her old weapons, nor even any Solver weapons (shudder), so she'd have to wait and see. 

And maybe hone her dodging skills. 

For some reason, Harry became aware of several concerned stares directed towards him. 

“...Did you have to...?” Hermione began, but Harry shot her a glare. 

“Drop it,” he muttered. 

She didn't, and instead pulled him into a hug. Ron joined her. Harry sighed, but didn't shake them off either. 

Anyway, no, she wasn't going to ask her human masters anything. Not even glasses, although she could tell she needed those (bad vision would follow her anywhere, huh?). She'd just have to... endure. Until she found out more about the outside world. 

The concerned stares intensified. 

The XD face flashed again. “...as if the Batman transition cards turned edgy,” Hermione muttered. 

Or, you know, it would be when she first got sent to human elementary school and the teacher caught her squinting at the blackboard. Her masters got her the cheapest pair available, of course, but it's not like she wasn't used to that. 

...The concerned stares turned to look at Harry's glasses. 

Honestly, the bigger shock was discovering that it was 1985. Somehow, she was back in time by around 1100 years. 

“...WHAT!?” 

Everyone stared at each other in bewilderment. 

“What in Merlin's name...?” Mrs. Weasley whispered. 

“...1100 years?” Harry repeated. 

“Halloween 3081 to Halloween 1981,” Penny commented. “It took her a little while to adjust to existence, but that's what it was.” 

“...I wonder what society is like in 3081,” Hermione mused. 

Penny smirked. “Humanity is dead. The servants have taken over. Should've treated your House Elves better.”

“I knew it,” Hermione hissed in triumph. The rest of them looked at her strangely. 

That was the mind-boggling amount, if she was honest with herself. Eleven hundred years. A computer would only be starting out as a thing. There would be no AI for decades-

V’s train of thought promptly derailed itself.

There would be no AI for decades.

There would be... no AI... for decades .

But if there was going to be no AI... for decades yet... Then why. ..

V’s hand flew to her forehead, unconsciously rubbing at her scar. The Solver was an AI, right? It only dealt with AI, right?

Right?

“...What's AI?” Ginny asked. 

“Artificial Intelligence,” Hermione replied matter-of-factly. “But that's science fiction, AI is unfeasible in the real world.” 

“The first neural networks show up in thirty years,” Penny said, enjoying the looks on their faces. “It takes very little time for science fiction to become science fact.” 

...that was an unnerving thought. 

It had never showed itself to be anything different, but also, normal AI didn’t actively warp reality, so there had to be something more about it, right?

“...it what now?” Harry deadpanned. 

V groaned quietly. Suddenly, she wished she had paid more attention when Uzi was talking about the Solver. But noooo, she had to find something else to talk about every time. Which, you know, fair, the Solver was the source of most of her problems (most, not all, she was self aware enough to acknowledge a few self-inflicted problems once or twice), but...

She really could do with more information right now.

“Yeah, you...” 

“...and the rest of us,” Fred and George said. 

“...do we even want to know?” Ron asked. 

“I suspect not,” Ginny deadpanned. 

The Grin flashed again. 

Well, more information on the Solver was hard to come by, not that that was a surprise. She did, however, learn to her surprise that humans went to school in this era. It was apparently mandated. By law. Weird.

Her masters made faces, but sent her off to school, voluntarily, and five days a week. And they didn’t have any other servants than her? She resolved to research that. Later.  

“...wait, does she think she's a maidservant? ” Hermione asked. 

“One more pitying look and I'll hex someone,” Harry muttered viciously. 

Ron quietly threw his arm around Harry's shoulders in a half-hug. “Better get used to it, mate,” he advised. 

Reading and writing she already could do, technically, but writing on real paper was new. Turns out Past Earth had plenty of wood left, still. Weird again - the Elliotts had books made of synthpaper.

“There's no paper in the future!?” Hermione squawked. “Oh those poor people.” 

“We don't use paper either, remember?” Ron reminded her. 

Math was also weird. Extremely simplistic and primitive, she could do this kind of math subconsciously. Literally. She’d zone out thinking about the golden menace, look down, and find all math problems done. For the year. Really, the only thing hampering her was the writing speed of her human body.

“I remember when I could do math,” Harry said. 

And the books were... insipid. But also... she couldn’t hate them. Not really.

It was exactly the kinds of things N would read. So she read them, just in case. Just in case, although the possibility was so very slim, just in case she ran into him again.

He wouldn’t remember, she knew. But maybe that was okay too.

“...How would she know she'd run into him again?” Ginny asked. 

“Because he'd be dead too, obviously,” Penny replied. 

“...oh,” Ginny said. 

The XD face appeared again. 

“...Who picked that as a scene transition?” Harry asked. “I just want to have a talk.”

He blinked, and Penny was right in front of him, that exact expression on her face. “I did,” she said in a sweet voice. “What did you want to talk about?” 

“...on second thought, nothing,” Harry muttered. 

When V had a quiet moment to think, she had come to the conclusion that she hated her new masters, and unlike Tessa, their son had no redeemable qualities either. She refused to use, or even remember, their names on principle, so all she had to go on was being as impersonal as possible. The husband was fat, brutish, moustached, and complaining about everything from her to the weather to anything in between. V couldn’t wait until she was old enough, strong enough, and perhaps even confident enough to stab him.

...Well, now there really wasn't any doubt in who that was. Harry made a face as Uncle Vernon's face came into full focus.

“She kept that promise, by the way,” Penny commented. “Didn't even learn their last name until her third year at Hogwarts.” 

“... Hardcore ,” Ron whispered. 

The wife was thin, shrill, and unpleasant, constantly looking at her like she was something found under the bottom of her shoe (although V was used to that, too, from the Elliotts) and seemed to have it out for her in particular. V had no idea what that meant, exactly, but she surmised that it was probably irrational. These things usually were. V sometimes thought about poisoning her tea with something. There were enough little snakes in the gardens that there was an option for that, but V wasn’t confident with her chances of getting away with that. Perhaps when she was older and could get away with more plausible deniability.

“... I never thought about killing them,” Harry feebly pointed out. 

“...yeah, that's something I'd expect from Tom ,” Ginny muttered. 

The son, aside from his hair color, barely resembled his mother at all, although in the privacy of her mind, V acknowledged that he didn’t resemble his father either. What he resembled more was a fleshy little sphere who occasionally had a different hat on. Like his parents, he was a moron.

“This one's accurate, though,” Harry deadpanned. “Never has changed.” 

And yet, running circles around them was so dreadfully easy. As if they didn’t expect her to be that smart. 

V wondered why that was.

“...isn't she, like, five?” Ginny asked. 

XD 

It turned out that the reason everything was so easy was because young humans were stupid. V had thought that perhaps the masters’ son was the exception here, but no, he was the rule. Tiny humans (like her but yet so unlike her) were, by default, incredibly dull, and with the way her teachers were eyeing her, she either had to get hailed as a genius, which her masters wouldn’t like, or pretend that this was a fluke and keep her head down.

“...Harry,” Hermione began hesitantly. “...is, is that why you do so poorly sometimes when you know the subject well?”

Ron's eyes widened. “...Merlin's balls .” 

“No!” Harry exclaimed. “Well... not always?” 

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione sniffed, and pulled him into another hug. 

And, well.

V always was good at keeping her head down while plotting everyone else’s downfall.

Some side-eyes were shot at Harry. 

“No, that's more Tom than me,” Harry defended himself. 

The side-eyes disappeared. 

If J was here, she’d have her own opinion of course, but J was J and V was V. J could have the glory for all she cared.

All V ever wanted was to live.

“Oh, this poor girl,” Mrs. Weasley sighed. 

“That's all for the first Chapter,” Penny said as the images began to fade. “So, what do you think? Are you going to stay and keep watching? Or are you tired already?” 

The Weasleys (and Harry and Hermione) exchanged glances. 

“I'll let you discuss it amongst yourselves,” Penny said as she walked up the nearest tree. “Until later, then!”

Chapter 2: VP 2 - The Curious Letter

Summary:

The rest of the cast shows up to react to the second chapter, and Penny shows off because of course she does.

Notes:

I tried writing a Reaction Fic in my FFN days, and then FFN banned it, so I stopped.
Take Two, hm?

Everyone retreated into the Burrow as soon as Penny was out of sight. “I don't like this,” Mrs. Weasley said. “I say we politely but firmly decline, and see if she honours her promise to let us go.”

“...But she didn't promise that,” Hermione pointed out. “She asked if we wanted to keep watching, or if we were tired. She didn't say anything about letting us go.” 

“With my luck,” Harry groused, “we'll be stuck here for the entire book.”

Mrs. Weasley didn't look happy. 

“Harrikins is right,” Fred or George said. “He really does have a rotten bit of luck with these matters. 

“Wait and see,” Ginny suggested. 

“...yeah I'm with Harry,” Ron contributed. “We have three years of experience to fall back on. Let's play along for now.” 

Mrs. Weasley looked between her children. “I don't like this,” she said, “but I suspect you might be right. Let's go tell-”

“No need,” Penny said from on top of the Clock. “I listened in, and you are correct! You'll be here for Year One, and Year Two, and maybe if you're lucky, even Year Three!” 

She smirked at the startled expressions. “Everything's relative. But I have good news, too! Food will be provided, no strings attached, and of course you'll be getting some company to watch with you.”

“...Company?” Harry asked warily. “What kind of company?”

Penny hummed in consideration. “Foreigners. Two classes’ worth, as it happens! More or less. Their relevance is quite a while away, of course, but they might as well get the underlying concept, won't they?” 

“...Then why didn't you bring them in before?” Ginny asked. 

“Reasons,” Penny deadpanned. “Hey, if you're interested in seeing how a house arrives here, you might wanna head outside.” She vanished. 

The Weasleys (and Harry and Hermione) exchanged glances and traipsed outside. 

 

⚡

 

At the clearing, trees at the edge of it were moving deeper into the forest, leaving two rectangular holes in the treeline. Penny herself was leaning against a tree. “Annnnnd... got it,” she commented, raising her arm and snapping her fingers once. 

There was a flash of light and a large, rectangular two-story house appeared in one hole, its front door facing the clearing. Another snap, another flash of light, and a classroom appeared, just desks and chairs, and of course a class full of people and their teacher, blinking in befuddlement. 

And then they started yelling. In French. 

“I knew I forgot something,” Penny muttered, and snapped her fingers a third time. 

...the class was still yelling, but now in English. Something about an ‘Akuma’, with their teacher trying to calm them. 

At that, the front door of the other building banged open, and a cadre of... colourful... people poured out. Literally colourful. Harry was pretty sure that he could see someone who was bright pink in there. 

There was a loud WHISTLE and all eyes turned to the middle of the clearing.

Penny was there now, floating on wings of steel and an unamused expression on her face. “Did you all get this out of your system?” she asked, and her voice echoed through the clearing. “I have summoned you all here for one purpose, and one purpose alone. For you all to react to a series of stories.” 

“That's a highly illogical reason,” someone said. Harry looked over to see a Japanese man who, for the most part, looked like a very scruffy Snape. “Warping” - the man gazed around - “ three buildings into a nightmare dimension doesn't come with an escape clause this basic.” 

“Logic,” Penny replied, “has no place here, Mr. Aizawa.” The man stiffened at that. 

“...You know my name. I don't know yours.” 

Penny made an irritated noise. “Okay, listen up, you lot! I'm talking to you, 1-A, and you, Bustier's class!”

The newcomers looked at her warily, not making a sound. Harry suspected that it was because they couldn't . 

“Y'all are here to star in a reaction video,” Penny continued dryly. “I know it's against your will, deal with it. If I don't like your contributions or don't think they're interesting, I'll boot you. Try to throw the game deliberately and I might straight up kill some of you to keep it interesting.”

Everyone stiffened at that. Penny ignored it. “This lot,” she continued while pointing at the wizards, “was here first, they can tell you how it works.” 

All eyes were on Harry now. 

“...Should have just gone with the classic movie theater, but nooooo, I had to be original,” Penny muttered quietly, but Harry caught it. Louder, she added, “Also, y'all missed the first chapter. You didn't miss much. Cope.” 

“What are the stories about?” someone asked. 

At that, Penny grinned. “Nice question, Ashido Mina! They're about a group of robots - drones, really - reincarnating into three specific scenarios. First, as wixen - magic users - into the setting and lives of those people,” she pointed at the Burrow - “during the events leading up to, and through, the Second Blood War or as I like to call it, Vold War Two.” 

Hermione let out a startled laugh. 

“Second,” Penny continued, “a slightly different group of the same drones reincarnating as key figures in the conflict that is known as The Third Quirk War, or perhaps The Rise of the Paranormal Liberation Front, or The Last Stand of All for One... there are a lot of titles, honestly.”

The colorful bunch exchanged worried glances. 

“And finally, the first group but slightly later in their personal timeline, reincarnated as the key figures in the Hawkmoth Conflict of Paris.” 

At that, the final group cast a worried look towards Penny. 

“Option one is the context piece though,” she finished. “Right, I have a translation matrix on, so you all can understand each other. Go. Shoo. Mingle.”

She vanished. 

 

⚡

 

Well... they mingled. What else could they do about it. 

Harry discovered that Adrien from the Paris group had a surprising amount of issues he could relate to. Still, the mood was tense. Unharmed and out of time or not, they had been, well, kidnapped from out of time and space and planted into a fairy realm. 

On the plus side, the Paris people had some sort of magic too. Kind of. The Chloé girl, who Harry thought kind of resembled a female Draco, boasted about wielding ‘the Bee Miraculous’, which was apparently a magical artifact that granted superpowers. There were more of them, but the other wielders were apparently all unknown. 

The Twins were talking to someone in the Quirk group. Hermione was also over there, but she was talking to someone else, a black-haired girl with a large ponytail. 

Ron and Ginny were with the Paris group too, Ron talking with the Nino guy and Ginny with the Alix girl. 

Mrs. Weasley was talking to the two teachers. 

As the conversations began to wind down, Penny reappeared. “Recaps done?” she asked with a grin, ignoring several people glaring at her. “In that case... Chapter Two!” 

She snapped her fingers, and the world faded away, the movie-like world fading in. There were several exclamations from the newcomers. 

By the time V was ten years old, nearing eleven, she had learned quite a few things. 

“She's adorable,” one of the girls from the Quirk group said. 

“I don't trust her,” a spiky-haired guy shot back. 

First and foremost, she had learned the while the Solver was all and truly dormant, there was something else attached to her. She wasn't sure what it was, but, while outwardly similar to the Solver, it was invisible, insidious, and most importantly, obeyed her every will.  

“...aaaaaaaaand now I'm thinking of Tom Riddle again,” Harry deadpanned. 

“Who's Tom Riddle?” Adrien asked. 

“My archnemesis,” Harry replied forlornly. “We had... similar childhoods.”

“I'm so sorry,” Adrien told him genuinely. 

Her masters seemed to know what it was, and feared it greatly, but in the end, they were powerless against it. So within five short years, V had completely turned the dynamic around. For once, she was in control, and it felt good . 

“MAJOR Tom Riddle alert,” Ginny called out. “Hey, can someone hug Harry? I'm too far away.” 

Without warning, Harry found himself hugged by one of the Quirk girls, the one with toebeans on her fingers. “Thanks, Ginny,” he called back sarcastically. 

Now, she always had a snake or two coiled around her shoulders, ready to snap at any human foolish enough to try to attack her, and the masters did their own chores for once. 

...ignoring the first half, that last part did sound nice to Harry. 

“...Their own chores?” the Quirk teacher asked, frowning. “Did they make a ten-year-old do all of their work?” 

“What, like Cinderella?” the boy next to the Alix girl asked. “Not cool!”

She was still going to kill them. Eventually. It wasn't vanity, just, you know. Extra sinister. 

“...Tom Riddle alert?” Ginny called out. 

“I haven't stopped hugging him yet!” Toebeans Girl called back. 

The XD face flashed again, generating yelps from the newcomers. Harry, on the other hand, was kind of getting used to it. 

Another thing V learned was that what her masters were doing with her was, in fact, against their laws. Illegal. And they weren't at all rich enough to bribe the law to look the other way. 

So, you know, that was another data point to hold against them. 

Briefly, V had considered demanding them for a maid uniform, just to see them try and explain it away to people, but eventually discarded it as too convoluted. 

“Hear that, mate?” Ron called out. “Told you it was wrong!” 

“Thanks, Ron,” Harry called back. 

Oh, and she also learned her name. 

Apparently, her human name was Violet Potter. She didn't think much of it. Yes, ha ha, a shrinking violet, very funny. She'd much rather remain V. 

“Flower names are cute,” Toebeans Girl told Harry. 

“Thanks, Toebeans Girl,” Harry deadpanned. 

Toebeans Girl snorted, letting him go. “My name's Ochako,” she told him. 

“Nice to meet you,” Harry replied. 

 

XD 

 

So all in all, V's life was pretty okay now, so she was low-key expecting for the other shoe to drop. 

The shoe, as it happens, dropped a few weeks before her birthday.

A letter arrived. For her. 

...honestly, Harry was rather curious how this V would navigate the letter debacle. 

The masters didn't let her read it. This one thing, apparently, they refused to be cowed by, even as she started twirling a kitchen knife between her fingers. 

How fascinating. Usually, they'd have folded by then. 

Whatever must have been in that letter had to have been very frightening indeed. 

So V asked. 

“...Politely, right?” Adrien deadpanned. 

“Not a chance,” Harry guessed. 

She rammed a knife into the wall by the wife's ear and held three more between her fingers, reminiscent of her old claws. 

Several people swore in surprise. 

“Tell me. What was in the letter?”

The wife just shook her head rapidly. V tsked. 

“I can draw very pretty patterns on your son and make him tell the authorities that he likes to do it himself. What was in the letter, woman?”

“Ochako!” Ginny called out. 

“I hear ya!” Ochako replied, and Harry found himself in a hug again. 

The woman paled, before her face twisted into a hateful sneer. “I'm not letting you go to that place, you vile creature,” she spat. “They'll make you even worse. No. You'll go to a public school and you'll like it!”  

V raised an eyebrow, but let the woman go. That was okay. She'd find out eventually. 

“Aunt Petunia's in top form, I see,” Harry commented. 

“I need hug backup!” Ochako called out, and Harry found himself buried under Hermione. 

“Thanks,” he snarked. 

 

XD 

 

The next day came with another letter. This time, it was the walrus who destroyed it. “No- more- nonsense- in- this- house,” he muttered while setting it on fire, to V's mild bafflement. 

As it burned, V was able to catch an address on it. 

 

Ms. V. Potter

The Smallest Bedro

 

The rest was no longer legible, and suddenly, V was worried too. Who addressed letters down to the bedroom ?

“...What is up with that, anyway?” Harry asked. 

“‘s to make sure there's no confusion over the addressee, obviously,” Ron answered from somewhere. That... yeah, okay, that made sense. 

So she cornered the wife again. 

“You said ‘that place’,” V said, one of her modified weapons swaying above her head in reminiscence of her old acid tail. The woman's eyes followed it fearfully. 

“You know something,” V continued. “Who is sending these letters? What do they want? And why was my bedroom on it?”  

Instead of answering, the woman just ran away. How bothersome. 

“...I want to know what, exactly, that girl looked like in her previous life,” Mrs. Weasley said. 

“Aight,” Penny replied from somewhere, and the scene transition changed. 

 

Instead of the nightmare grin, there was now a robot. It looked almost like Penny, but with an exaggerated feminine design, a thin tail with a stinger and a container full of a glowing yellow liquid at the end of it, and large round glasses on top her visor. 

“....Thank you?” Mrs. Weasley questioned. 

“You're welcome~,” Penny sing-songed. 

Third day dawned with V leaning against the doorframe, glaring at any of the humans. “I'm reading one of these,” she said, tone brooking no argument, “and if any of you try to stop me, you will not live to regret it. Am I clear?” 

The humans just fled to cower in the kitchen. 

Good. 

“...must be nice to have them follow your whims and not the other way round,” Harry mused. 

Adrien eyed him. “...are you okay?” 

“Not in the slightest,” Harry replied. 

V’s vigil was interrupted by the click of the letterbox. Wasting no time, she grabbed the letter to, finally, read one for herself. 

 

Ms. V. Potter 

Waiting By The Letterbox

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging 

Surrey 

“...is that normal?” the girl Hermione had been talking to earlier asked, wandering over. 

Hermione, still hugging Harry, snickered a little. “Mhm. Daddy was starting to look for his shotgun when Professor McGonagall showed us the letter.” 

...that was a scarily accurate address. Was she being watched? Feeling worried, V turned the envelope over, noting an elaborate wax seal on it. What in the... 

She cracked the seal open, and read a very baffling letter. 

“...but usually the letter comes with a school representative?” Hermione mused. 

“I got two weeks of letters and Hagrid on my birthday,” Harry replied. “So...?” 

“It's a good thing they sent Hagrid, then,” Hermione replied. 

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wixen)

 

Dear Violet Potter,

 

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,

 

Minerva McGonagall 

Deputy Headmistress

“...What are Wixen?” Mrs. Weasley asked. 

“All-encompassing term for Witches, Wizards, Sorcerers, Warlocks and all other mostly-wanded magic users,” Penny replied from somewhere. “A small major difference between that world and yours.” 

Was this a fucking joke? 

V looked over the rest of the envelope, expecting for something, anything to explain whatever the fuck that was, but all there was was a list of books and equipment. 

... 

Unacceptable. 

“Language!” the three adults barked. 

“The story can't hear you,” Penny reminded them. 

XD

V slammed the letter into the kitchen table, eyes flashing. “Explain,” she demanded. 

The walrus and his wife just looked at each other while the son cowered in the background. V found herself growing impatient. 

The son let out a frightened shout as one of V's knives found itself embedded into the wall right next to him. 

“...she kinda reminds me of Toga,” Ochako said contemplatively. 

Somewhere, Penny snickered. 

“I said ,” she hissed, “ Explain .”  

“What is there to explain!?” the wife finally snarled. “You're a violent lunatic like your mother! And when she went into that, that school ,” she pointed at the parchment between them, “she kept coming back with less and less sanity, but what did our parents care, they were just proud to have a witch in the family!”

“My mother was not a violent lunatic!” Harry protested. 

“Indeed,” Penny purred from right next to them what the fuck, “ Lily Evans was not.”

“...V is not the only replacement,” the black-haired girl realised. 

“Well done, Momo,” Penny purred, incidentally saving Harry from an introduction. “You get a cookie.” She vanished again. 

“...unnerving,” Momo muttered. 

V, on the other hand, was rapidly putting things together. So what lurked within her was in fact witchcraft, hmm? And there was a school out there that taught it... 

“Point of fact,” Penny commented, “it was in fact wizardry, but she doesn't know the distinction yet.”

“What's the difference?” someone asked. 

“Charms, Transfiguration, and Astronomy are Wizardry core classes, while Potions, Herbology, and Defence Against The Dark Arts are Witchcraft core classes,” Penny replied. “Wizardry is flashy, Witchcraft is practical.” 

“...that makes so much more sense than the gender thing,” Hermione muttered. 

That had potential. Yes, much potential indeed. Now. 

What did they mean, await her owl?

“...Did someone forget...” 

“...that Harrikins wasn't...” 

“a Muggleborn?” the Twins questioned. 

XD

 

Just that, apparently. There were three owls just sitting on the fence outside, looking at her when she stepped out of the house. One of them even glided right over when spotting a letter in her hand, which she gave to it and, feeling a bit foolish, watched it fly away. 

“Oh, okay,” someone said. 

Her return letter was short, sweet, and to the point. 

Dear Deputy Headmistress, 

Explain. 

Sincerely, V Potter.

Harry snorted. 

With that, the story-world faded away. “End of Chapter 2,” Penny declared. “Hey, quick question, do y'all want this, or would you prefer a theatre mode? I'll leave a poll here for y'all to answer. Otherwise, feel free to mingle again.”

Notes:

The MHA and ML casts need the context too, don't they?

Don't worry, Harry will do his best to learn everyone's names next chapter.
...also, the movie theatre question is for y'all too.

Chapter 3: VP 3 - The Wixen Alley

Summary:

The cast finishes learning the names, and has some revelations already.

Notes:

Turns out I'd forgotten that some of this stuff would be revelations for this gang. Whoops.

The mingling was still cautious, but emboldened by now.

...That, and Harry wanted to make sure to remember everyone’s names in contrast to V. Sue him, that girl gave him Tom Riddle Vibes and he didn’t like that very much.

 

He learned that the Quirk group was made up of an entire class of twenty people, all different from one another. Ochako and Momo he’d already learned the names of, but there were also Ochako’s friends Izuku (the kid with green hair and apparently superstrength), Tenya (a teenager with actual engines in his legs, what the hell ), Shoto (who also had a scar on his face, so hey, that might be a common point to bond over...?) and Tsu (who looked like a frog, and apparently it was intentional.)

 

Then there was Izuku’s... something. Harry wasn’t sure how to classify the spiky-haired one. He was too fit to be a Dudley but too angry to be a Malfoy. Apparently, his name was Bakugou. Odd, though, his friends - Kirishima (the guy with spiky red hair), Ashido (the pink girl with horns), Kaminari (the guy with a black streak in his hair), Sero (the guy with spiky black haird and weird elbows) and Jiro (they girl with the long earlobes) seemed nice.

...Maybe he was a cactus?

 

The rest of the class seemed more forgettable, and Harry felt bad at thinking that. There was Aoyama, who was part French and reminded him of Lockhart. Then there was Mineta, who was short with weird sticky hair. Then Hagakure, who was literally invisible. 

There was also Koda, who could speak to animals. He was nice, and Harry bonded to him a little over the foreign language stuff. There was also Sato, with big lips, who apparently also had superstrength.

Finally, there was Tokoyami (and Dark Shadow), a boy with a bird head and a sentient shadow, Shoji, a teenager with a masked face and many arms, and lastly Ojiro, a guy with a tail. 

 

Harry made sure to remember all those names for later.

⚡🐞

And then there were the French.

 

Adrien, Harry already knew. Then there was Adrien’s friend Nino, who made his own music, a fact which baffled Harry as much as many other things over at Hogwarts. He didn’t realize people could do this while still at school.

Then there was Nino’s girlfriend Alya, and Alya’s friend Marinette. Personally, Harry thought that Marinette was kind of weird, and he was reminded of Lavender or Parvati for whatever reason.

Then there was the trio of Chloe, Sabrina, and Lila, who Harry more or less immediately pegged as a pack of Malfoy. He kept away from them on principle.

There was another trio of Alix, Max, and Nathaniel, with the Kim guy hovering around Alix in a weird rivalry thing.

Then there was Rose and Juleka, who looked like polar opposites, but were as thick as thieves. 

And finally, there was Ivan and Mylene, who just looked... adorable, somehow.

 

Hm.

That was all of them, right? Aside from the adults, but Harry was hesitant to mingle with those. So he just asked Adrien and Ochako.

Apparently, the Quirks teacher was named Mr. Aizawa, and the French teacher was named Ms. Bustier.

...Well, he had all the names down. Now what?

 

“Oh, good,” Penny said, walking out of the nearest wall. “You all know each other now.”

“...were you... waiting for this, or?” Harry asked, perturbed.

The Fae shot him a grin. “Maybe! Now, now that you’ve all mingled properly, time for Chapter Three! It’s a long one, boys and girls, so I have provided...”

She snapped her fingers, and large, colorful lumps appeared everywhere around them. “...Beanbags!”

Penny grinned. “Chapter time~!”

⚡

The world faded out once more, but for once, the beanbags remained. To his surprise, Harry ended up in a pile with both Adrien and Ochako, who seemed to be determined to hug him again at a moments’ notice.

He wasn’t sure if he minded.

The return “letter” arrived on Saturday morning, in the form of the Deputy Headmistress herself to deliver the explanation in person. 

“...that’s new,” Harry mused.

“Is it?” Hermione asked from one pile over, where she was sitting with Momo, Alya, and oddly enough, Marinette. “I had Professor McGonagall.”

“Yeah, but you two are Muggleborns at the eyes of Hogwarts,” Ron pointed out from Harry’s other side. “...And no offence, mate, but you’re Harry Potter, of course you had non-standard treatment.”

“Woohoo,” Harry deadpanned. 

Minerva McGonagall was a severe woman, black hair tightly bound into a bun and lips set into a tight frown, which wasn't even offset by her emerald green cloak. Privately, V resolved to aim for that exact kind of intimidation herself. Eventually.

“...If she’s planning on becoming Professor McGonagall, then maybe she won’t be that bad?” Hermione suggested.

“Will it last?” Ginny deadpanned from somewhere.

“Miss Potter, I presume?” she asked, peering at her over her own pair of glasses.

 V didn’t even snark at her, simply nodding. “Yes, that’s me.” She fidgeted a little. The snakes on her shoulders also fidgeted a little.

 

There were several snorts at that image.

The woman stared at her for a long moment. She then looked over at the masters, cowering around the kitchen table, although the husband was starting to puff himself up again. She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I told Albus this was a bad idea,” she murmured, quiet enough that V didn’t think she was supposed to hear that.

DH McGonagall sighed, looking back at V. “I’m starting to see why you asked for an explanation, now. To put it simply, you are a witch. Hogwarts is a school of magic that records every magical child born in the British Isles, and enrolls them in her halls. The letters are sent out slightly before a student's eleventh birthday, and students can opt to go to either Hogwarts, or one of the... lesser magical schools in the Isles.”

 

Harry blinked. “...there are other magical schools in Britain?”

“Of course there are, Harry,” Hermione said. “Honestly, Harry, don’t you read?”

“There usually isn’t a point, unless it’s Quidditch,” Harry muttered.

V crossed her arms. “And these letters arrive daily until answered?” 

DH McGonagall blinked. “Pardon me?” 

“The first letter,” V elaborated, “arrived on Wednesday. It was destroyed by, uh, her.” She gestured at the wife. “The second letter arrived on Thursday and was destroyed by him.” She pointed at the husband. “The third letter arrived on Friday. I intercepted it, read it, didn't understand jack, and replied. And now we are here.” 

 

“...actually, yeah, I’d like to know too,” Harry said, wiggling into a more comfortable position on the beanbag.

DH McGonagall blinked again. “I... see. Well, if something interferes with the mail, the magic quill pens another letter. There have been... incidents when the magic gets creative, but the school usually sends a representative to deliver the letter personally.”

 

Huh.

“Huh,” Harry said. “That... explains a lot.”

“Explains what?” Adrien asked curiously.

Harry paused. “...explains why some of my letters arrived inside the eggs from the milkman.”

There was another pause as Adrien digested that. “....huh.”

V nodded thoughtfully. Magic, witch, Hogwarts... “So Hogwarts would help me... refine the magic I’ve been doing?”

The Deputy Headmistress, who had been in the process of taking some sort of stick out of her robes, paused. “...Refine? You’ve been directing your accidental magic?”

... Accidental?

  V blinked. “It is supposed to be accidental?”

 

There was a sigh from Mrs. Weasley’s direction. “If a child believes that hey can do anything, their magic is... oftentimes all too willing to oblige,” she said, shooting a glare towards Fred and George, who were sitting with Bakugou’s group for some reason.

“I’ll say,” Ron muttered.

 

The woman hesitated. “...Generally, yes. It’s a type of freeform magic that occurs in times of great emotion. Might I ask what you’ve been doing?”

V paused, deliberating the pros and cons of admitting to an authority figure that she had been, essentially, doing very violent things to humans.

 

“...Now I want to see what McGonagall would do if she did admit that,” Ron said.

...So did Harry, if he was being honest.

“Riddle vibes!” Ginny called out.

....aaaaaand there went Ochako.

 

“Snakes listen to me. They obey my words and I understand theirs,” she finally offered, figuring it a safe option.

DH McGonagall nodded, eyeing the snakes. “I suspected. That is called Parseltongue, and it is a magical language that allows a wizard or a witch to understand snakes. It is... rare, in the British Isles, but more prominent in India. Your father’s family is from there, so it is not unheard of for it to skip generations...”

 

Harry blinked. “...My dad’s family is from India?”

“Not always,” Penny replied, suddenly appearing next to him. “Depends entirely on how brown you are.” She peered at his startled expression. “...Nope, you’re a White Potter. Oh well.” She vanished.

“...what does that even mean? ” Harry asked futilely.

 

V blinked. Oh, right, humans had parents... she’d forgotten. Feeling slightly braver, she summoned her knife-claws, grasping them between her fingers. “Weapons also come to me when called. They help me defend myself.”

At that, DH McGonagall shot a glare at the humans around the table. “I see. ”

 

Suddenly, Harry was once again aware of several concerned stares directed his way.

“...timeline differences?” he tried.

“...you’re literally in asylum from your relatives at my place,” Ron shot back.

...drat.

 

Oh good, that worked. “So... say I was interested in Hogwarts. Where would I find the equipment?”

At that, the Deputy Headmistress refocused on V. “There is a hidden alley in London. Its entrance is on Charing Cross Road, through a pub named the Leaky Cauldron.” Seeing V’s apprehension, she added, “Tomorrow, I will be taking another young wix and her family into the Alley, to explain things more thoroughly, and to help them get their equipment. Would you like to join if I picked you up?”

V glanced at the humans, seeing the faint terror in their eyes, before allowing herself a small smile. “I’d love to.”

 

“I wonder who the other wix is,” Hermione mused.

“Guess,” Penny deadpanned, even as the scene transition flashed.

 

Deputy Headmistress McGonagall arrived at ten in the morning sharp, and V met her with her best clothes and a small but loud snake wrapped around her shoulders. The woman raised an eyebrow at the snake, but didn't comment.  

“Are we ready, then?” she asked. 

“Yes,” V answered, adjusting her necktie. “How will we...” She trailed off.

 

“Is it just me, or are the snakes adorable? ” Ashido asked.

“N-not just you...” Koda muttered. In Harry’s opinion, though, it was, well, a matter of opinion.

 

Parked on the curb was a sleek black car, one that even V could tell was old and luxurious. A small family of three was already seated in the backseat, looking terrified at the prospect of touching anything. 

 

“ Holy shit, ” someone said.

“Yeah, this McGonagall drives a 1965 Bentley Continental Flying Spur,” Penny said proudly. “Because she deserves it.”

“That’s a very cool car,” Nino said, awed.

“I know, right?”

 

“These are the Grangers,” McGonagall said as she opened the front passenger door. “Grangers, this is Violet Potter. She will be joining us on this trip. The rules apply still, try not to touch anything and you will live.” 

“Crystal,” V replied curtly. 

 

Hermione’s head snapped to the trio on the backseat. “Wait, they’re who- ”

 

The drive was quiet and short. In fact, V suspected that it was far shorter than it was supposed to be. As it happens, though, it felt like the car parked on a Charing Cross Road parkspace scarcely five minutes after leaving from Surrey. There was probably magic afoot.

 

“No, seriously, they’re who?” Hermione demanded.

“Too difficult to recognise?” Penny questioned.

“Neither me nor Mom and Dad do not look like that!” Hermione protested.

“Just because you aren’t...” and here Penny’s voice took on a mocking quality, “ tall, doesn’t mean it can’t be the case for every Granger out there.”

“I recognise that reference!” Alix noted, grinning.

 

Only after everyone had filed out of the vehicle and began following McGonagall, did the other girl finally speak up. “It’s dangerous to carry a live snake in public, you know. That’s against health and safety regulations.”

Slowly, both V and her current guardian turned their heads to look at the girl. She was nothing remarkable, with dark skin and bushy brown hair in twintails. ‘oh no, it’s another J’ came a thought, unbidden, before V shook it off. “It’s my emotional support early warning system,” she deadpanned.

 

“But she’s...!” Hermione protested.

“Black?” Penny deadpanned. “Sure is. It’s fairly common in the multiverse, happens at about the same frequency as Indian Potter, and often concurrently. It’s nothing unnatural, don’t be racist, Hermione.”

The girl’s eyes widened in panic. “I’m- I’m not racist! ”

“You did imply that she couldn’t possibly be you,” Alya snarked. “By which metric, exactly?”

“Uhhhhhh,” Hermione said.

“That foot is in deep enough already,” Penny mused. “You should probably stop shoving it in.”

Hermione just crossed her arms and pouted.

 

The girl blinked. “...your what?”

“An early warning system,” V repeated. “It warns off anyone foolish enough to try and grab at me.” 

The girl stared at her for a long moment, before turning away in a huff. “That's not how any of this works.” 

“Deal with it,” V drawled. “Anyway, I'm V. Call me Violet and I'll stab you.” 

 

“Yup, still violent,” Harry deadpanned. “Wait. Violet. Violent. Is that intentional?”

“Is now,” Penny purred.

 

“...That's illegal,” the girl responded snippily. “...Hermione Jean Granger.” 

V snorted. “Aw, aren't you prim and proper? That's too long, by the way. I'm gonna call you Jean.” 

Granger frowned at her. “...don't. Please?”

V snickered. “Jeah, Jean doesn't fit much. Jay it is!” 

Granger groaned. “Oh forget it.”

 

“...she’s adorable, ” Harry heard Ginny whisper in glee. Internally, he agreed.

 

The group found the Leaky Cauldron with no issues, and navigated through it with minimal trouble. The barkeep seemed to be about to out V to the crowd, but he was quickly cowed by the Deputy Headmistress’ glare, and in no time at all, they were in the backyard. 

 

“...Wish I’d had that,” Harry muttered.

 

“Pay attention now,” DH McGonagall said, counting the bricks. “Three up, two over, and tap it with your wand, once you get them. Otherwise,” she now addressed the parents, “ask Tom, the barkeep.” 

She waited until she got nods from everyone, and then tapped the brick with her wand.

A ripple went through the bricks, before they all sprang into life and reconfigured themselves into an archway, although V got the distinct impression that they were rather hurried. Perhaps the bricks, too, respected DH McGonagall and wanted to get out of her way as quickly as possible.

 

“Oh, I love that sight,” Harry said, to general noises of agreement.

 

 The sight that greeted them was... busy. 

The street, was narrow and wonky, moving in a slight zigzag pattern, packed full of crooked, medieval buildings with strange, whimsical signs, glimpses of a large, white building at the end of the street. 

It was also full of life, figures in multicoloured robes everywhere. 

“Welcome,” DH McGonagall said proudly, “To Diagon Alley.”

...Not bad, V conceded. 

 

“...Nobody...”

“...can resist...”

“...Diagon Alley,” the twins chorused.

 

Their first stop was the large white building at the end of Diagon Alley, that DH McGonagall explained was the Wizarding Bank. As they climbed the stairs, V noticed, and zeroed in on the plaque on the doors. 

 

Harry remembered when he had done the same.

 

Enter, stranger, but take heed

Of what awaits the sin of greed

For those who take, but do not earn,

Must pay most dearly in their turn.

So if you seek beneath our floors

A treasure that was never yours,

Thief, you have been warned, beware

Of finding more than treasure there.

 

“...what does that mean?” Alix asked suspiciously.

“It means that the Goblins are vicious bastards,” Penny translated.

 

V approved of the bloodthirst she could read between the lines. Nice. Good to know if she ever wanted to rob the bank. 

Not that she would right away, of course. She was still small, and fragile, and the creatures guarding the bank, and manning the booths, looked fierce.

 

“...the only reason she won’t rob the bank is because she’s too small?” Harry asked incredulously. “... Merlin. ”

“Yeah, she’s definitely a sociopath,” Penny agreed. “But we love her anyway.”

“Speak for yourself,” Ginny muttered.

 

According to DH McGonagall, they were called Goblins, and they controlled the money in the Wixen World. V made a note of that. 

Wixen money was strange too - enchanted golden, silver, and bronze coins that had a truly baffling exchange rate even by British standards; the golden ones were called Galleons and they were the top of the coin chain. Seventeen silver Sickles went into one Galleon, and twenty-nine bronze Knuts into a Sickle. 

“Be warned that only the British Wixen use the Galleon standard,” DH McGonagall warned. “If any of you were thinking of travelling to, say, France, you would need to convert your coinage over there before attempting to purchase anything. The French are very particular about their money, and even more particular about the British.”

 

“...wait, the French don’t use Galleons?” Harry asked, surprised.

“No, they don’t,” Hermione replied, although she was still sulking.

 

The Grangers all nodded at that. V deigned not to react, even though she too made a note of it. She'd gotten the impression of the rivalry between countries, yes.

 

“There’s a rivalry between France and England?” Ron snarked. “Couldn’t have guessed.”

 

“The exchange rate also varies,” DH McGonagall continued. “It's generally between five to twenty Great Britain Pounds to a Galleon, depending on various factors and determined by the Goblins. You can see it on that plaque there.” She pointed. The plaque was simple.  

1G = 6.75£

“It’s self-updating,” DH McGonagall explained. “Always bring a little extra money when exchanging.” 

Everyone nodded again.

 

“...that doesn’t exist here,” Hermione said, frowning. “But it should.”

“Useful, isn’t it?” Penny asked.

 

Then, DH McGonagall asked the Grangers to remain in the lobby, cautioned them not to wander off, stared a Goblin into submission until he agreed to keep an eye on them, and requested V to follow her. 

Very impressed, V did. 

 

“Am I glad our McGonagall isn’t that scary,” Ron muttered.

“But she ought to be,” Ginny added.

 

A dizzying ride in a minecart later, both V and DH McGonagall, along with a goblin named Griphook, were standing in front of a bank vault, for once both of them unruffled by the experience. V's opinion of DH McGonagall only kept rising, if she was honest.

 

“...imagine if Voldemort was like McGonagall,” Harry mused.

“He’d have won by now,” Ron deadpanned, shuddering. 

 

“Your parents left you a tidy sum,” DH McGonagall explained. “It will easily cover any expenses that might arise over your next seven years of schooling.” 

“I see,” V replied. “Did you know them well?” 

Parents were something she'd never had, or even needed across her two lives, so if V was honest, she didn't have as much attachment to the concept as a normal orphan would. Still, she was curious.

 

Harry perked up, listening closely.

 

DH McGonagall didn't answer for a moment, but her eyes looked suspiciously misty. “Your father was one of my favourite students,” she said quietly. “You look a little like him, in fact. Your mother was... different, and yet she had her own type of brilliance. However,” and here her tone changed again, becoming softer without losing its no-nonsense quality, “I do not expect you to become a carbon copy of either of them, do you understand, Miss Potter? You should be your own person.” 

V smiled slightly. “I will do my best, Deputy Headmistress.” 

“In class, I expect you to call me Professor McGonagall,” DH- no, Professor McGonagall said. “Now, Mr. Griphook, the Vault?” 

 

“...Okay, maybe she isn’t that bad,” Ginny said.

“I wish our McGonagall did this sort of thing more,” Hermione said.

 

The goblin, seeming to roll his eyes at them, nonetheless stepped past them, placing the key in the lock and turning it. “I would advise you to not use the key without a goblin present,” he cautioned, grinning toothily. “ Security, you understand.” 

He pulled the door open. 

 

Harry braced himself.

 

What greeted V was mountains of Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts. There must have been thousands of gold coins in there, which if V remembered correctly, translated to tens of thousands of pounds. That was... 

 

Exclamations of shock filled the space. “Dude!” someone, likely Nino, whisper-yelled.

Adrien leaned in. “Is that a lot?” he whispered.

“I don’t like showing off,” Harry whispered back. “But yeah, kind of.”

 

“Professor McGonagall,” V asked, “exactly how much of this do I need for the school year?” 

“No more than twenty galleons for your supplies,” Professor McGonagall replied. “I do not expect to tell you what to do with your money, but I strongly suggest not spending the rest of it immediately.” 

Privately, in the depths of her mind, V thought that she and Professor McGonagall had a very different definition of a ‘tidy sum’. But then again, Professor McGonagall did drive a luxury car.

 

Harry found himself snorting.

 

She scooped about thirty galleons, a handful of sickles, and two handfuls of knuts into a pouch. That should do, she thought. 

“I'm ready,” she told Professor McGonagall. 

 

“...mind you,” he whispered to Adrien, “having money after having nothing is nice.”

 

Upon meeting up with the Grangers again, professor McGonagall politely asked if the family would object to her coming with and helping them make sure they didn't get ripped off by an overly enthusiastic merchant, and everyone else politely said that no, they didn't mind at all. 

 

This time, it was Hermione who snorted.

 

As such, it was a group of five people that entered Ollivander’s: Makers of Fine Wands Since 52 BC.

The shop was quiet, and mysterious. There were shelves upon shelves filled with dusty boxes, and the godrays filtering through the windows created an interesting atmosphere of light and shadow. Anything could be there.

Like the old man who just stepped out of the shadows. “Professor McGonagall,” he whispered. “I trust your wand is still serving you well?”

 

“Yeah, he’s still creepy,” every wix in the room deadpanned in unison, before looking at each other in bewilderment (and to the bemusement of everyone else).

 

Professor McGonagall didn’t even flinch. “It is as responsive as the day I bought it, and still serves me to this day, Mr. Ollivander.”

“Fir and dragon heartstring,” the old man - Ollivander - murmured. “Stiff, nine and a half inches, excellent for Transfiguration. An elegant wand for an elegant witch, wouldn’t you say?”

Professor McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

“...Right, of course,” Ollivander conceded. “New students, then?”

 

“ Really a fan of this McGonagall,” Ginny said.

 

“Of course,” Professor McGonagall replied. “These are miss Hermione Granger and miss Violet Potter.”

Ollivander’s eyes snapped immediately to V’s forehead, before he quailed under Professor McGonagall’s gimlet stare. “Of course,” he murmured. “Which one of you would like to go first?”

V and Granger exchanged glances. V shrugged. “You go.” Granger nodded, walking forwards.

 

“My wand is vine and dragon heartstring,” Hermione said, tilting her head. “I wonder if...”

“No, there are plenty of surprises around,” Penny commented. Hermione gave her a suspicious glare, but didn’t say anything.

 

Ollivander snapped his fingers, conjuring a measuring tape that immediately got to work around Granger, measuring her all over. “A strong personality,” he murmured. “Perhaps vine?” 

He handed Granger a wand, but she'd barely swished it before he took it back. “No, no. Not vine, no... try this, Ash and dragon heartstring...”

Granger waved another wand, causing something to explode. Ollivander shook his head. “No, no. Ash doesn't like you, but dragon heartstring... yes, I believe I'm onto something here...”

 

“Aha!” Hermione said.

“...I’m pretty sure she’s also replaced,” Momo said thoughtfully. “The changes between you and her are too big otherwise.”

“Good girl, ” Penny purred from somewhere.

 

As Granger started trying out various wands, her mother hesitantly leaned over to professor McGonagall. “Is it... always like this?” she whispered. V, right under her, acted like she heard nothing. 

“It can be,” Professor McGonagall replied quietly. “It is very rare for a wand to match perfectly at the first try.”

“Yours did, professor McGonagall,” Ollivander replied as he bustled by.

 

“ Cool, ” Ginny whispered. Seems like she’d picked up the McGonagall-worship wholesale.

 

“But that was a match I shan't replicate any time soon. Now, miss Granger, try this one. Cedar and dragon heartstring, twelve and a quarter inches.” 

Granger took the wand, and there was a change in the air. V looked up sharply. For a moment, a single, fleeting moment, a yellow gleam passed through the girl's eyes, before she waved her wand. 

A burst of magic exploded from its tip much like an EMP, but instead of shorting things out, it straightened and neatened, cleaning up the messes from previous failed attempts. 

 

“...what was that?” Hermione asked slowly.

“An echo yet to come,” Penny replied mysteriously.

 

All three adults plus V blinked, while Ollivander had a proud grin on his face. “Excellent! I had suspected. That'll be seven galleons, miss Granger. And now...” 

He trailed off when he got to V. “Violet Potter... Your parents brought their wands from me, as do all British wixen when they reach the age of eleven...” He gave a sly glance at professor McGonagall. “Or when they break their first one in a noble cause.”

 

There was a collective blink. “Minerva broke her first wand?” Mrs. Weasley asked, surprised.

“She punched a Nazi with it,” Penny replied, grinning.

 

Professor McGonagall was presumably staring daggers at him, because he coughed and snapped the measuring tapes back into existence. “Your mother was a strange customer, she was,” he murmured. “But she finally left with an ebony wand, fourteen and a half inches. Firm with a dragon heartstring core. She would have been excellent at Transfiguration, but she favoured the combat arts instead...” He looked up. “You have her eyes, miss Potter.” 

V stared back at him, doing her best impression of professor McGonagall's glare. It seemed to be less than effective on Ollivander, however, because he kept going. 

“Your father, on the other hand, favoured a mahogany wand. Well, I say favoured... the wand chooses the wix, you see.” The man looked at her. “A potential for Transfiguration... it would be remiss of me if I didn't at least try. Here, fir and dragon heartstring, eleven inches.” 

V took it. It felt like nothing in her fingers.

 

Harry was furiously thinking. His mum... she’d had a willow wand, for Charms, if he recalled correctly. Whoever this V’s mum was... it wasn’t Lily.

...

Had anyone ever said her mum’s name?

 

She made a face. 

“...perhaps not,” Ollivander agreed. “Such a strong rejection from both wood and core... dragon is not for you. Perhaps... try this one. Aspen, with unicorn tail hair...”

V gave it a half-hearted wave, before Ollivander snatched it. “No, no. Certainly not... But how about...” 

Unlike Granger, V's time stretched, and the pile of rejected wands grew. Ollivander stared at her pensively, before his eyes flicked at her forehead again.

 

“Oh, great,” Harry muttered, making a face. He knew what was coming now.

Above him, a Fae grinned with glee.

 

V looked into the box. It was a long, slightly gnarled wand, made of wood that looked a little like melted caramel. She picked it up and felt warmth in her fingers, something greater and more powerful connecting to her. She waved it, and was rewarded by a shower of sparks that brought to mind clashes of metal against metal. 

“Bravo,” Ollivander whispered. “You were a tricky customer, miss Potter, but with a wand like this on your side...”

 

Harry blinked. Wait. What?

 

His eyes turned wondering. “Thirteen and a half inches, yew and phoenix feather. The phoenix who donated this feather only ever gave one other... and that wand also went on to do great things. Terrible, yes... but great.”

 

“WHAT!?” Harry yelled out, before covering his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Ginny staring with wide eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Adrien asked, eyes wide.

“...That’s Voldemort’s wand,” Harry whispered. “She has Voldemort’s wand... and I think he has mine.”

 

A slight chill went down V's spine. “...What does that mean?” 

Ollivander’s eyes seemed to stare right through her. “It means that it's curious for you to be chosen by this wand, because its brother...” His eyes flicked to her forehead again. “Well, its brother was the one that gave you that scar.” 

Oh. 

 

“...and then there’s that,” Harry admitted.

Unseen by Harry, Izuku stood up from his position and went over to Aizawa, whispering something in his ear. The next thing Harry knew, the rest of Ochako’s friend group had surrounded his beanbag with their own beanbags, with the green-haired boy patting him on the shoulder.

“Inherited nemesis,” Izuku said gravely.

...sure. Why not.

 

The rest of the shopping was done in silence, the group slightly weirded out by the encounter, and the revelations. 

But both V and Granger nodded to each other, purchasing extra books on modern history just to see what the hell was up with that last statement. 

 

Hermione snorted weakly. “I would,” she agreed.

 

The Grangers opted to leave by Tube, leaving only V and professor McGonagall to take the car. Finally, V looked up at her. “My parents didn't die in a car crash, did they?” 

“Is that what your aunt told you?” professor McGonagall asked, turning on the engine. “No. They died at the hands of He Who Must Not Be Named, before he himself perished attempting to kill you. No one is certain what exactly happened,” she added, pulling into the highway, “but at the end of the evening, your parents were dead, He Who Must Not Be Named was obliterated, and you, against all odds, were alive.”

 

Harry shrank in on himself. The story was still familiar, so... This all still happened.

 

“...I see,” V said, watching the landscape whizz by. “Is there anything else I should know? About anything?” 

“The Hogwarts Express leaves at eleven o'clock from Platform 9 3⁄4, at King's Cross Station,” Professor McGonagall said, pulling off the highway and into Privet Drive in a manouver that even V could call sus. “To access the platform, you must pass through the brick wall between platforms Nine and Ten. Will you be able to find your own transport to London?” 

V grinned. “Yes, professor McGonagall. I dare say I will.”

 

“Take the bus?” Hermione asked hopefully.

 

After all, she could always threaten the humans.

 

“Nope, gotta go full Tom Riddle,” Ginny snarked.

“Given what the humans in question are like, can you blame her?” Penny asked curiously, even as the world around them faded back into the forest clearing. 

“Yes,” Hermione said, even as Harry let out a reluctant ‘no’. That earned him a weird look. 

“What?” he asked defensively. “It's not like violence isn't the only language Dudley or Uncle Vernon speak, is it?” 

The weird looks turned into pity. 

...for a brief moment, until Bakugou the Cactus arrived and yelled at everyone for pitying people without a cause and how pity was the leading cause of villainy. 

...which meant that it was Harry's turn to give the weird looks. 

“Welp,” Penny said. “Y'all have finished a chapter, so you know the drill by now - mingle, find something to eat, et cetera. I'll organize some dorms for the ones who didn't come with free dorms. See ya for Chapter Four!”

Notes:

Went with the beanbags. Also, I think Harry was just adopted by the Dekusquad. And Bakugo.

Chapter 4: MD 1&2, VP 4 - A Familiar Face

Summary:

Penny has a brain blast and leaves the casts a DVD set of Murder Drones to watch. The gang goes into Chapter 4 with a little more context.

Notes:

Something a little experimental here - a reaction highlight reel of the other source material around here. Lemme know how you think it turned out, yeah?

“You know,” Penny said idly, walking into the 1-A living room, where most of the watchers had congregated, “I just had a Thought. None of you really have any context over the drone gang, so none of y’all can really appreciate how much more tamer and gentler they are now.”

“The fuck you mean, gentler? ” Bakugou demanded from the couch. “Bitch is as mad as the crazy vampire chick that’s obsessed with Deku! Does that look tame to you?”

“Exactly my point,” the Fae replied. “You consider her batshit crazy, because you don’t have the context. So...”

A DVD player shifted into existence next to 1-A’s TV, with a DVD case on top. The image on the cover of the case depicted several robots that looked a little like Penny’s form, posed in a destroyed cityscape.

“I’m not making full on reactions for this one,” the Fae explained. “They’re there to watch at your own leisure... but I do suggest that you watch them. You might appreciate how much our heroes have mellowed.”

“...don’t like the implications of that,” Bakugou muttered, but he didn’t throw the disc away.

 

💀

 

“We should watch it,” Momo said. “I think we need the context.”

“You don’t tell me what to do, Ponytail,” Bakugou barked. “Of course we’re fucking watching it! Doesn’t matter how batshit-” He cracked the DVD case open and shoved it into the player. Ominous music started playing.

 

“...that’s not Earth.” “No shit, Pikachu, she said exoplanets. ” “Oh, I missed that, mb.”

“...Where did the untrained neural networks come from?” “Backups?”

“...so that’s where the scene transitions came from!” “We’re supposed to root for these maniacs?”

 

[Images of an edgy little robot furiously complaining about the status quo]

 

“When did Shadow the Hedgehog transition?” “Good for her.”

“Huh. Robot nurses?” “Maybe those would consent to healing my bones?” “Deku, what the fuck.”

“Hm. I don’t respect her father either.” “You can find her and form a club, Half-and-Half.”

“Who gives a robot hormones?”

“Why does a robot need a moustache?”

“Sure. Boyfriend. ” “Bet you it’ll be prophetic later.” “No bet.”

“...that wrench did what? ”

“ Put that moustache back on or so help me. ”

“...is it eating that dead robot?”

“Hah! Weeb.” “Look who’s talking, Kacchan.” “Shut the fuck up, Deku.”

“...holy shit I want that gun.” “Same.” “Same.” “Mood.”

“...what.” “I’m getting puppy vibes for some reason.”

“...you know...” “Finish that thought and you’re dead, grape bitch.” “Yeek!”

 

“No!” a nondescript background robot pleaded. “Don’t feed me my own entrails in front of my family!” But V just cackled maniacally as the camera cut to N.

 

“ THIS is who we’re supposed to root for!? ” Bakugou exploded incredulously. 

 

“...is this one going to mellow out too?” “She can step on me anytime.” “ Grape bitch! ”

“...are they robot vampires? ”

“Why do you even have that flag?”

“...I forgot he was evil. Anyone else forget he was evil?” “Yup.” “Mhm.” “Yea.”

“Why is he acting like it’s her fault?” “...I mean, it literally is?” “Oh yeah.”

“...holy shit, Khan.”

“Again. We’re supposed to be rooting for them?”

“Well, I feel a little bad for him. ”

“The card players are useless. Who could have guessed.”

“What’s that pen made of? ”

“N, what.” “Well, he did say his mind was in a weird place.”

“Hang on, that EMP looks familiar.” “Oh yeah, Jermione’s wand!” “Never say that word in my presence again.”

“N, what.” “...wait, did she feel that?” “Dunno.”

“ Why are you monologuing? ”

“...is she seriously swearing in corporate?”

“Shut up, Khan!” “He barely even said anything.”

 

“I’d join you if the sun didn’t literally kill me, haha,” N called out.

 

“Literally robot vampires, what the fuck.”

“...what the hell happened there?” “Dunno.” “It’s the Solver thing, obviously, do none of you extras pay attention? It looks exactly like V’s scar!” “Ohhhhhh.”

 

💀

 

There were a lot of exchanged looks. “...One more episode?” Harry questioned hesitantly.

“One more,” Bakugou growled.

 

“...where’d the band of lights go?”

“That... That’s a human. I thought the humans all died?” “It’s a flashback, idiots. Obviously.”

“Wait, wait wait. That’s the Moon.” “Obviously.” “No, I mean that’s our moon. That’s on Earth! N’s from Earth!” “...huh.”

 

Past N collides with another, bespectacled robot in a maid uniform.

 

Harry learned forward, squinting. “...am I going crazy or is that V?”

 

“...that’s adorable. ”

“...Robots can have nightmares?” “If those two aren’t significant, I’ll eat Pikachu’s cooking.” “...Hey!”

“...this thing breaks mirrors just by existing, no wonder future V is afraid of it.” “Yeah, but I can’t help but feel that there’s more to it than that...”

“She’s penduluming between scary and adorable, I don’t get it.” “So she’s like you, Bakugou!” “ Shut up, Pinky! ”

“I-it’s like watching a pair of cats...” “Oh, she’s a cat, that explains it.”

“I don’t think that tiny ladder’s gonna cut it.”

“Whaaaaat the fuck.” “...I think we’re suddenly watching a horror movie.”

“What the fuck is that what the fuck is that- ”

 

The maintenance worker’s flashlight illuminates an open, fleshy ribcage, as something crawls out of it.

 

Mina yelped and scrambled back, diving behind a couch. “What the hell, they’re supposed to be robots! ”

 

Golden light erupts from the corpse, inscribing numerous messages into the maintenance closet, and as the worker looks on in horror, claws and talons erupt as the light changes to crimson, the words ‘If you can read this, YOU ARE IN RANGE’ appearing on a projected message.

 

“I don’t want to be in range!” “What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what the-”

“Oh thank god a scene change.”

“Wow, he’s oblivious as fuck, isn’t he?”

“He’d get along with my old man.” “...what the hell, Half’n’Half?”

“...yeah, who did program that?”

“...I wonder if she’s been reading Warrior Cats?” “No I think she’s just that chuuni.”

“Oh, great, it can do holograms.” “Well, at least they’re bad holograms.”

 

The teenagers stare at the picture drawn in crayon. Mina bursts out laughing first.

 

“...why did that work?”

“Wait what.” “Oh shit, they’re not bad holograms! It’s just giving us a false sense of security!”

“ oh shit they’re TACTILE! ”

“uh oh it found him”

“Hi trauma.” “Wait, what’s that at the door?” “We’re ignoring that.”

“ No, you idiot! ”

“...Absolute Solver?” “Whatever that thing Solves, I don’t want to know.”

“ what the Absolute Fuck ”

 

N fires a missile into the darkness, briefly illuminating a veritable MASS of coils and skittering legs above them.

 

The common room erupts into incoherent screeches and swearing.

 

“...Chainsaw hands. Nice. ”

“...wait, wasn’t it just established that it can do better illusions?” “It’s luring her into a false sense of security too!” “Oh shit.”

“...oh my god they’re dorks.”

“...Don’t like that voice.”

“...Whooooo the fuck is that.” “Dead mom?” “Don’t like that.”

 

Eldritch J slithers out of the vents, only the upper half of a head on a serpentine body, needle-like teeth protruding from the upper jaw.

 

The teenagers, predictably, scream.

 

“ DID THAT THING JUST KILL KHAN? ” “Holy shit I didn’t expect that.”

“Oh, thank you, N! ”

“What the fuck is this thing!”

“ That’s not N! ”

“...was that the real N?” “God, I hope so.”

“...and that’s the weapon she carries around? Liable to warp space as it explodes?” “That tracks. None of them have any practical self preservation.”

“Oh, good. The dead dad was fake.”

“...what the fuck is that thing.”

 

Uzi stares at N, eyes wide with terror. “What... are you things?”

 

“Good. Fucking. Question, ” Bakugou growled.

 

“Aw. He can be a good dad.”

“...the fuck was that.” “Looked like a Solver thing!” “Dooooon’t like that.”

“Yeah, you’re creepy.”

“...Wait, why hasn’t she escaped?” “An agenda?”

 

The camera zooms out to a ceiling covered in papers, drawings, and red string, a twisting three-pronged symbol overlaid on top.

 

“Thaaaaaaat’s V’s scar,” Harry realized. “What in the-”

 

💀

 

“What the fuck,” Harry muttered. “What the fuck. ”

“Oh, hey,” Penny greeted as she strolled in. “How far’d y’all get?”

“...Just finished Episode 2,” Ochako replied weakly. “ This is who we’re following?”

The Fae made a so-so gesture. “Eh. Pilot and Heartbeat are good for establishing the main horror aspects. Don’t worry, it’ll get worse.”

“ Worse? ” Hermione asked incredulously, but Penny ignored her. 

“Anyway,” she declared, clapping her hands, “it’s more or less just about time for Chapter 4.” She paused. “...Y’all might be getting whiplash from it, but oh well. This one should be mostly pretty cute.”

“I’m filled with confidence,” Harry snarked, even as the world faded away.

 

August found V buried in her new spellbooks, practicing ‘simpler’ spells, with and without her new wand. Already, she had modified the basic Lumos spell to produce a pair of faint, wispy ghost lights at eye level, just to see how the humans reacted.  

The humans were very twitchy for the next few days after that, and V had some great new memories. 

 

“...I don’t think that’s how practicing simpler spells works,” Hermione snarked. “I was casting Lumos to read more books at night, and she’s out here reinventing Hinkypunks.”

 

The next thing she did with that was ‘attach’ the wisps to first the edges of her glasses and then just ‘smeared’ them across the lenses in a passable imitation of her old visor. 

Walking around with a glowing white X across her glasses brought back older, and even more exciting memories, and she was able to wrangle a promise of a trip to London on the morning of September First from the humans. 

Good times. 

 

There were several more yelps and significant amounts of swearing, as the teens now had the exact context to catch the reference to the visor. After all, they’d now witnessed the real thing in full context.

 

Familiarising herself with her school materials and terrorising the humans wasn't the only thing V did that summer. She also read her new history books, learning quite a few interesting things. 

About twenty years before the current time, in the early 1970s, a Dark Lord had risen in the Wixen World. He had had a name, but it seemed to have been under some kind of jinx - any who spoke it would find the Dark Lord's minions, the Death Eaters, and wasn't that a curious name, knocking at their door.

 

“...of course that’s what he’d name his minions,” Harry snarked. “Does he have no imagination?”

“Actually, his inner circle used to be called Knights of the Walpurgis,” Penny replied, snacking on a cookie. “But it was too complex for the mooks to remember, I think.”

...huh.

 

As such, the wixen would find other ways to refer to him, like He Who Must Not Be Named and You Know Who. Good strategy, in V's opinion, albeit a bit of a mouthful. After all, she too was familiar with Her machinations, and ways of avoiding them. Speak of the Devil, after all.

 

“...Her who?” Adrien asked suspiciously.

Penny flickered in front of him, smiling. “Get snuck-upon,” she quoted with a smirk, before vanishing.

“...Cool,” Harry said weakly.

 

V kind of hoped that She wouldn't show up here, either. The drone turned human really wasn't looking forward to facing a She Who Must Not Be Named in addition to the local Dark Lord. 

Yes, she said ‘in addition’.

 

“...Is your Dark Lord coming back?” Izuku guessed.

“Is yours?” Harry guessed back. The two boys shared a resigned nod.

 

The history books all concurred that You Know Who came to the Potter house, killed V's parents (a J Potter and a C Potter, none of the books even bothered naming her parents, how rude) and was ‘vanquished’. 

No body. Only a ruined house, dead parents, and a wailing baby with a curious scar on her forehead. 

If V wasn't going to re-encounter that Dark Lord even once over the next seven years, she'd... Well, she wasn't sure what she'd do, but probably something humiliating. The point was, she wasn't going to do that, because for all she knew, You Know Who would be waiting for her at the school gates or something stupid like that. 

Honestly, these wixen. Everybody knows that if the body is gone, you'll be dealing with its owner sooner than later. 

 

“Entirely logical,” Mr. Aizawa concluded, even as the older Weasleys (and the French) looked vaguely ill at the thought.

 

September First dawned cold and mostly clear, with only a mild drizzle moistening the streets. V was wearing a wide grin, all school materials already packed and ready, as she directed her humans to ready the drive to London.

The snakes of Privet Drive all had a fight between each other, as to which ones would be her guardians for this rather long trip, before a pair of identical adders volunteered. They made for a lovely living scarf, so V only rolled her eyes fondly. 

 

“Oh that’s fashionable!” Mina exclaimed. Bakugou gave her a side-eye. “What?” the pink girl defended. “If I think about whatever that nonsense was, I’ll go mad. Besides, look at those patterns!”

 

“Matches your room, ribbit,” Tsu said.

 

It was a Sunday, and the son would only be going to his first day on Monday, so that's probably what convinced them. The husband was still mouthy, though. “Funny way of getting to school, by train. Did all the magic carpets have punctures?”

 

“Well, he doesn’t change his jokes,” Harry muttered.

 

Hilarious.  

V gave him a gimlet stare. “Seriously?” she deadpanned. “Magic carpets? In England? With our weather?” 

That shut him up.

Harry snorted.

 

They drove her to the station in silence, waited until she had unloaded her trunk, and sped off in a huff. 

Good. 

V navigated the station a little, getting a baggage cart for her trunk and just looking for the brick wall that professor McGonagall had told her about. It was harder than it looked, to be honest. 

 

Harry remembered his own rather panicked search in King’s Cross and winced in sympathy.

 

~I smell an owl,~ said one of the adders.  

... Owl? What kind of owl in their right mind would come to one of the busiest stations in London at this hour- oh, it was an owl. In a birdcage.  

... 

Oh right, wixen used owls for mail. 

...Oh right, that must be a wix! 

 

“Oh hey, that’s us!” Ron exclaimed. “Wait, why do we look blurry, except for Mum?”

“She focused on your mom, obviously,” Penny deadpanned.

Ron paused. “...Fair enough.”

 

V hurried over, trying not to look too desperate. A large wixen family came to view, red hair as far as the eye could see. She only just caught the mother asking, “Now, what was the platform number?”  

~...How would she have forgotten it with such a large family?~ she hissed, slipping into incredulity. 

~Nest-mother would always ask us questions she knew,~ one of the adders volunteered. 

~She'd want to make sure we knew,~ the other added. 

Oh. 

It's a parenting thing.

 

“Huh?” several people asked.

“Yeah, some only children use that scene as a ‘proof’ that Harry bumping into the Weasleys like that was a sign of a ‘Grand Conspiracy’, ” Penny said derisively. “Because they have never encountered a parent making sure that all their children know all the important information, and invent bullshit from it.”

“....What?” someone else asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Penny groused.

 

Right then, nothing to it... 

“Excuse me,” V asked, making herself look a little smaller than she normally would. “Are you for Platform 9 ¾ too? It's just that I...”

“Aren't sure how to get on the platform?” the woman asked kindly. “It's simple. You need to run into that brick wall over there.” She pointed. “With enough speed, you'll pass right through, alright?”

V nodded. “Okay...!” She took off at a run. Enough speed... Enough speed... 

Her surroundings changed. 

 

“She’s manipulating Mum,” Ron muttered. “Don’t like that.”

 

She went from the chilly, drizzly King's Cross to a platform bathed in sunlight, a scarlet locomotive parked next to the platform.  

Whoa. 

Even V could admit that that was impressive. 

 

“...The platform must be somewhere completely different,” Izuku muttered, “to have such a drastic change of weather. Is it outside the city? In a pocket dimension?”

Several heads turned to Hermione, who rolled her eyes. “It’s a fold in space like Diagon Alley is, so that it can’t be seen from the air,” she explained. “The train can’t, either, unless it’s already left the station.” She gave Ron and Harry an even stare.

“...Don’t ask,” Harry muttered.

 

Still, she heaved her trunk onto the train and found the first empty compartment, shoving her trunk under her seat and settling in to people-watch. 

Somebody knocked on the door. “Excuse me,” a muffled voice asked, “Can I sit here? Everywhere else is full.” 

 

“Oh look,” Harry deflected, “Ron.”

 

V sincerely doubted that. She looked over, intending to snark at whoever that was, but her breath caught in her throat. 

In a flash, she was on her feet, opening the door. “Of course,” she breathed, staring at the boy. “Come on in.” 

“Thank you!” the boy chirped, dragging his trunk in and popping it onto the rack without any effort whatsoever. “I'm Ron, by the way. Ron Weasley.” 

 

“...or not,” Ron said, eyes wide as he looked at his counterpart.

 

“I'm V,” V replied, still distracted. He was young, and human, and he had both red hair and freckles, but other than those minor details, he looked exactly like N. V could recognise him anywhere.

 

“...yeah, that’s uh. What?” Harry asked, eyes also wide.

“Blimey,” Ron muttered.

 

Ro(N) laughed. “That's a short name,” he pointed out. 

V shrugged, faintly aware that she was blushing. “I like it,” she murmured.

 

“...but she hated him,” Hermione said weakly. “Right? I’m not seeing things that aren’t there?”

“But she didn’t on Earth!” Mina exclaimed, a gleam in her eyes. “Maybe this is Earth V?”

“She recreated that fucking X,” Bakugou reminded them. “Am I the only one who pays attention?”

“...Hrm,” Mina replied.

 

“Fair enough,” Ron shrugged, sitting down on the opposite bench

 “...So,” V asked after a couple of silent minutes, “What kinds of things do you like?”

 Ron thought for a moment. “I like dogs! And playing chess. And helping out, honestly, I love doing anything.”

 

“...yup, definitely N,” Harry murmured.

 

Yup, definitely N. 

 

“...shut up, V,” Harry told the story.

 

“What about you?” 

V started. “Oh! Um.” She mentally reviewed her hobbies of violence, threats of violence, and tormenting her human family. “I like... reading? And snakes.”

“Snakes are cute too,” Ron agreed. There was a faint clunk as the train started moving, but neither of them paid much attention, chatting away with each other on any topics they could find.

 

“No they’re not,” Ron protested. “They’re... slimy. And weird.”

“N-no they aren’t,” Koda protested. “Snakes are actually not slimy at all, you’re thinking of worms. Snakes k-keep themselves clean.”

Ron eyed him. “...how’d you know?”

“I t-talk to animals,” Koda replied, shrinking in on himself.

“...Fair enough,” Ron said.

 

A couple of hours later, there was a knock on the compartment door, before it slid open. “Anything off the trolley, dears?”

V looked up from where she had cuddled up next to roN, blinking up at the old lady.

 

There was an excited gasp from Mina’s direction, even as Harry and Ron stared in astonishment.

“...Huh,” said Hermione.

 

“What are the options?” 

The old woman checked her trolley. “I have sweets, iced pumpkin juice, and a newspaper. Does any of that sound good?”

V thought for a moment. She wasn't exactly a fan of sweets. “Do any of those come with less sugar?”

 

“See, I’m nothing like her,” Harry exclaimed. “I like sugar.”

“Compelling argument,” Hermione teased.

 

The trolley lady hmmed. “I have Liquorice Wands, Cauldron Cakes, and Pumpkin Pasties. Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans are a hit or miss, I'm afraid...”

V exchanged a glance with roN. “I'll have a pair of Liquorice Wands, then, and some Cauldron Cakes and Pumpkin Pasties.” 

“That'll be four sickles, then.” 

V paid quietly, biting into a Liquorice Wand. Pleasantly bitter. “Thank you,” she said quietly as the door slid shut.

 

“You know, there’s a joke about Liquorice Wands that I could make,” Penny mused from somewhere, “but they’re still eleven, so I won’t.”

There were some odd glances cast towards her voice at that as the XD flashed again.

 

Not half an hour later, the door slid open again. “Excuse me, have you seen a toad? Neville here has lost one.” 

V opened an eye, glaring at Granger in annoyance. “Go away, Granger.” 

 

“Well that’s a far less pleasant greeting,” Hermione snarked.

 

The girl hmphed, flicking her twintails. “That's rude, Potter. I'm being perfectly polite here.”

“And I'm being perfectly comfy here,” V shot back. 

She took in Granger's annoyed look and felt her hackles rise. “Shoo,” she said.

 

The real Hermione was squinting at the other one. “...Why is she J, anyway?” she asked. “I was never like...” she searched for words.

“No, you’re far more ruthless,” Ron agreed. “You set Snape on fire.”

“She did...”

“...what?” the Twins asked, appearing from nowhere.

“...Do I need to set you on fire?” Hermione deadpanned.

“We’ll be good!” Fred decided.

 

“Have you seen a toad, yes or no,” Granger deadpanned. 

~Either of you eaten a toad?~ V hissed in annoyance. 

~We have not,~ her scarves replied quietly. 

The boy with Granger eeped and fled.

 

“...Poor Neville,” Ron said.

 

“Sorry!” Ron chirped. “We haven't seen one. Maybe try the next compartment?” 

“Maybe I will,” Granger retorted, slamming the door shut. 

 

“...This is a bizarre universe in which I’m the voice of reason,” Ron said in amazement.

“Must be the N in you,” Harry deadpanned.

 

“You okay?” Ron asked, absentmindedly petting V's hair. “You seem upset.” 

V grumbled, shuffling herself deeper into his side. “It's stupid,” she murmured. 

roN was quiet for a moment. “Is it?” 

V huffed. “Fine. It's not stupid. I just... you have really warm hugs. I didn't want to let go.” 

Ron chuckled. “Thanks! I learned from my mum. She gives the best hugs!” 

“That sounds nice,” V murmured. “I wanna meet your mum...”

 

“Hey, quick question,” Bakugou scowled. “She’s a fucking maniac and worse than Toga. Why the fuck are we feeling sorry for her?”

“The power of Fluff,” Penny deadpanned.

 

For the third time today, the compartment door was pulled open. V was almost snarling by that. 

“They say that Violet Potter is in this compartment,” a faintly Russian-accented voice drawled. “Is that true?”

 

“Oh great, Malfoy,” Harry groaned, before pausing. “Wait. That’s not Malfoy’s voice. Has he been replaced too?”

 

V hissed at the intruder. “None of your business,” she snarled.  

The intruder raised her hands placatingly. “Bozhe moi! You are a vicious one, da? My name is Malfoy. Ursa Malfoy. I simply wished to know if you wanted to be friends, da?” 

V took a closer look at this ‘Ursa Malfoy’. Long white hair... red eyes... Russian accent... oh no, this was Lizzy's former psycho friend, wasn't it?

 

“...oh no, it’s the Russian robot,” Mina muttered. “She was creepy. ”

“Wait til you see Episode Three,” Penny countered. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

“ So comforting,” the pink girl snarked.

 

“...we'll see,” she said. “Now shoo. I'm not taking any more interruptions today!”

“I look forward to seeing you in Slytherin,” Malfoy replied, closing the door once more. 

 

“...Oh, great, she would be in Slytherin,” Harry groaned.

 

V and Ron were awoken several hours later by an insistent knocking on the door. Now completely fed up, V slid out of roN's embrace and slammed the door open herself. “ What!?” 

She was met with an unimpressed Granger. “We'll be there soon. You really should change into your robes, you know.” 

V eyeballed her before slamming the door back shut. “Just because she's right doesn't mean I have to like it,” she grumbled.

 

“Aww, they’re cuddling, ” Mina cooed. Harry caught Ron’s eye, but for some reason felt embarrassed and looked away. 

“Just a friend,” he muttered to himself. Strange, he thought he heard someone growling from the French section...

 

“Oh, we're arriving?” Ron asked. “We should probably change into our robes then. Do you want to go first or second?”  

V blinked. “What do you mean?”  

roN blushed. “Well... you know, I am a boy and you are a girl...”  

Oh.  

V also blushed. “Right... um... Yes, we probably should...”

 

“ Adorable, ” Mina purred.

 

Ten minutes later, the two were once again cuddling, but now in their robes and sporting considerable blushes.

 

A faint whistling noise was emanating from the pink girl.

 

“This is nice,” Ron said. 

“It is,” V agreed.

 

“ So adorableeeee! ” 

 

“...Hey, um.” 

“Hm?”

“You know how Hogwarts has houses...?” 

“Don't worry,” V murmured. “We'll just have to make sure we make the same house. No matter what, so we'll remain together, won't we?” 

Ron smiled. “That'd be nice.”

 

“...That’ll happen,” Harry snarked. “I just don’t see N as a Slytherin.”

There was faint sound of cackling from the resident Fae.

“All right,” she chortled as the world faded back in, “Y’all are fantastic entertainment. Chapter’s over, by the way. Entertain yourselves. ”

Notes:

Can't escape from Shipper Mina, huh?

Chapter 5: MD3 & VP 5 - The Sorting Hat

Summary:

The gang watches one more episode (and chapter) before bed. Kaminari turns out far more observant than expected.

“...It’s getting late,” Momo said, checking her watch.

“Why would that matter, Ponytail?” Bakugou asked irritably. “We’re stuck doing an anime marathon at the whims of a fucking fairy. We’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Adrien rose from the couch and walked over to the DVD player. “We need more information,” he said. “I think we’ll need to watch this.”

Bakugou made a noise. “Sure thing, model boy. Stick it in.”

“Phrasing,” Mineta muttered.

 

A snowstorm is brewing in front of Outpost Three. As the scene cuts to the inside, the camera briefly lingers on a sign made from balloons: PROM 3071

 

“...3071? Damn. That’s far far future.” “And in V’s past. We saw in the first chapter, she’s from ten years after that.” “...Well, at least somebody survives.”

“...That’s. A concerning number of missing persons.” “I think we’re about to see what happens to them.”

“...lol, nice vision.” “ Denki! ” “What? That’s what it says!”

“...What was that?” “Yeah, nothing good.”

“...This is the Solver symbol.” “And Ursa.” “What? Oh, come on! She’s adorable! ” “Yeah, but I’m pretty sure she’s still Ursa in the future.” “Well, damn.”

“HOLY-”

“...holy shit.” “Yup, we just saw what happened to them.” “Christ, that’s brutal. ”

“...ew, cockroaches.” “They’re also robots.” “... ew, robot cockroaches!”

“...is that bitch killing off prom queen candidates? ” “Wow, what a psycho.” “Bet you anything it’s for Toga reasons.” “Yeah, no, I’m not taking that bet.”

“...Merlin.” “Oh god I’m going to hurl.”

“‘guilt active’?” “Who programmed these? ”

“Oh no, she’s sad... ”

“Oh wow, the crayon drawing of friendship. ” “For the spicy guilt!” “Mina, why.”

“...That’s a long groan.” 

“And the dissing.” “Probably unintentional too, I don’t know if they know she even exists.” “Cold.” “Isn’t that Todoroki’s schtick?”

“ oh no that’s a LOT of missing posters ”

“...did that sign say ‘wet murder’?” “Oh heck yeah she’s putting things together!”

“Wait why is she taking these?” “Conspiracy board.” “Oh right.”

“...eh?” “Hang on, those are new. Er, old.” “Nori’s kooky insane stuff. Who’s Nori?” “The dead mom, probably.”

“Awww, it’s a teenager. How cute.” “... you two are also teenagers.”

“...did that say, ‘maintaining insane daughter unit’?” “Okay real talk Kaminari, how the fuck are you noticing all these details?” “They’re interesting! ”

“Yeouch.”

 

Uzi trips over a tiny skeleton, still clad in clothes and holding a lollipop, exclaiming, “Whaaaaat is this?”

“Prom dress,” Khan replies excitedly, “Child’s small!”

 

“What the fuck, ” is the general consensus from the teenagers. Bakugou scoffs. “This show loves to shove into our face that humans are dead, huh,” he deadpans.

“Cringe dad.” “Same, Uzi, same.” “What a mad banquet of darkness.”

“oh no the puppyboy is angsting”

“Seriously, why are we rooting for V?” “Cause she had ten years to mature...?” “You don’t sound sure either!”

“...that’s not the face of someone worried about that.” “Yeah. I think she knows. ”

“Oh she definitely fucking knows.” “Sus.”

“...Whoever she’s talking about is definitely NOT sleeping. ”

“...huh.” “What?” “Psycho stepped on the bug without a care, but Uzi didn’t.” “Huh.”

“ Oh god that is so fucking creepy. ”

“...how did she move that fast.”

 

“Please,” N pleads. “What do you kno-”

He’s cut off, literally, by V slashing his head off.

 

“WHOA!” “V, what the FUCK!”

“The fuck you mean what’s best for him- ”

“Vampire allegations again, huh Uzi?”

“Wait, you’ll let in WHO-”

“...Is that fucking blood?” “This better not be fucking blood. Where would blood even come from?” “...Do you think all of them have fleshy ribcages?” “Oh I do NOT like that.”

“Aaaaand we don’t even get to see it.”

“...Did V take the dress?”

“ Dapper N! ”

“...what the fuck.” “...The Solver breaks mirrors. That’s Doll’s broken mirror collection.” “Yeah but why is there fucking blood? ” “...good question.”

“She’s gonna vent.” “Uzi sus.” “...what are you on about?” “Future meme, don’t worry about it.”

“...why would anyone say that in Russian?”

“Hi N!”

“...oh no, they’re adorable.” “They’re dorks. ” “ Adorable dorks.”

“ Awww, she’s blushing! ”

“Oh hey, Prom.” “‘decoration only, you will super die’?” “Seriously, Denki, why aren’t you using those powers of observation in class? ”

“The teacher is hilarious.”

“‘mysteriously disappeared’ you mean your friend killed them?”

 

“Your queen by forfeit,” Lizzy drawls, “Is, uh, this.”

V drops from the ceiling, wings open and claws splayed.

 

Mina blinked. “...I honestly wasn’t expecting that one.”

“...are they shaking a guy down for money?”

“...She wasn’t expecting to be prom queen either?” “Something’s up.”

“Ah. Hi psycho.”

“...what the hell?” “Power of the mean girls.”

“...Hang on, that ‘extra sinister’ line is familiar.” “So why are we cheering for her, again?”

“...Why is there an X on the floor?” “Oh shit, are they trying to reenact Carrie? ” “What, on this killing machine? Not very smart, are they?”

“Wait what did catgirl just say?” “Oh, it’s a matter of loooove~ ” “Shut up, Pinky.”

“...and the psycho just went full psycho.”

“Oh, okay, V killed her parents.” “And why are we expecting otherwise?” “Woo, psycho vs psycho.”

“...oh that is so fucking badass. ”

“This Solver is one scary program.”

“‘Hey didn’t they kill your mom?’ ‘Yeah but I wanna fuck them’.” “ Mineta! ” “What! This is exactly what’s happening here!”

“...Hell-o, Exorcist?” “Don’t jinx it, Mina.”

“Wait, pause it pause it!”

 

Bakugou paused the video, slightly curious, as Kaminari squinted at the text on the screen. “Error: AbsoluteSolver_trn,” he read out loud. “... Like object non-interactive. So... the Solver can’t affect other Solver users. Which means that Uzi must be an user too!”

“...who are you and what have you done with Pikachu,” Bakugou deadpanned.

“It’s interesting! ”

 

“...Weirdly, I can see V and Lizzy interacting.” 

“ Oh shit the music changed ” “oooh, dis gon b gud.”

“Oh she’s going full DIO!” “Can’t be, I don’t see a timestop.” “You know what I mean!”

“N to the rescue!”

“Oh man it’s a dance battle! ”

“Oh that was epic.”

“Aaaaaand hi V.” “I guess she did come in clutch...”

“...I dunno, I don’t see them acting couple-y.” “Yeah, that last bit was pure sibling energy.” “Do siblings kill each other?” “Cain instinct.” “Ah.”

“...christ, what is this horror show?” “The bugs add to it.” “Ugh. Yep.”

“V’s still the worst.”

“Not beating the vampire allegations, Solver.”

“Oh hey, N’s not stepping on the bugs either.”

“Uhhhhh... Uzi?” “ Not beating the vampire allegations either. ”

“Oh JEEZ!” “Did she just... seat her dead parents at a dinner table?” “That’s morbid as hell.”

“V, what the fuck.”

 

V giggles, eating the robo-roach. “Yeah, I’m NOT doing okay.”

 

The teenagers look at each other. “...Just outright saying it, huh?”

 

“...Uzi did you eat that oil?” “Not-” “beating the vampire allegations, yes, we heard!”

“Oh jEEZ-”

“...that’s fucked up.” “Kinda badass, not gonna lie.” “Still fucked up.”

“See! I told you she was an user!” “Yeah, Denki, you sure did.”

“The psycho has weird ideas about helping.”

“So... why are we outside again?”

“ your excuse to be outside- ”

“Oh shit the ships from the end of episode one!”

“ Yo what? ”

“That... that’s a human.” “From space. ” “That’s a genuine, living human.”

“...wasn’t J killed?” “Yeah. Thoroughly killed.” “So what’s this?” “...Restored from backup maybe?”

“... the fucking car alarm sound! ” “Gotta keep up the Aesthetic.”

“...well, this sure was an episode.”

 

💀

 

Glances were exchanged. Finally, Mina broke the silence. “Okay, how the fuck did that psycho become adorable Ursa?” she questioned incredulously. “It’s... completely incompatible!”

“The real question,” Penny mused, walking in through the wall, “is how much trauma will adorable little Ursa have to go through to become Doll again?”

The teenagers were struck silent, both at the thought, and at the sight of the Fae. The being in question looked between them. “Well,” she mused. “One more chapter and I think y’all can get some sleep in. I’ll even turn on Night Mode for you.”

“...Surely we haven’t been here that long?” Momo questioned.

“Let’s just say that y’all are lucky I haven’t decided to do an Urashima Taro for you,” Penny deadpanned. “There are no days in this forest, and your circadian rhythms might as well not exist. One chapter, and then you’ll sleep.” She paused. “Well, you can watch Camp Fever after, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Not very conductive to watching very late, if you get my meaning.”

“So... chapter time?” Harry deadpanned.

“Chapter time,” Penny confirmed, and snapped her fingers.

 

“Firs’ years! Firs’ years, to me!” 

 

Harry’s eyes widened in delight. “Hagrid!”

“Still as Hagrid as ever,” Ron confirmed.

 

“That man is huge!” Ron whispered, even as he and V followed the giant of a man. 

 “I wonder if that's normal,” V whispered back.

 

“He probably fell into a cauldron of Growing Concoction as a child,” the real Ron said. “It’s not that weird.”

 

“My papa says he's a savage,” the voice of Ursa Malfoy spoke up from behind them. “Gets drunk, tries to do magic, and sets fire to his bed. Absolutely disgraceful.” 

 

“And there’s the Malfoy part,” Harry deadpanned.

 

V sighed. “Here’s a thought, Malfoy. And that thought is, what an absolutely rude thing to say unprompted.”

 

Harry made a face at that. Sure, he agreed with the sentiment, but also, well, V.

 

“Here’s a thought, imagine being like him, ugh, I’d rather just die, ” spoke another vaguely familiar voice. V paused and looked over.

... Holy shit that’s Lizzy.

 

“Oh is that her name?” Adrien asked. “It wasn’t very clear.”

“You gotta pay attention to the details!” Kaminari exclaimed. “But yeah nobody actually said her name so...”

 

“That’s my best friend, Liz Parkinson,” Malfoy introduced. “Liz, that’s Violet Potter, who said she’d maybe be our friend, and... uh... who are you again?”

 

“Classy,” Ron deadpanned.

 

“Oh, I’m Ron,” roN introduced happily. “Ron Weasley. My dad says your dad is a tosser, but I think it’s just UST. Besides, neither of us are our parents, right?”

 

“... What. ”

Hermione snorted at Ron’s flat declaration.

 

Liz, Malfoy, and V exchanged surprised glances.

“Wow,” Liz drawled. “That was like, almost Slytherin of you.”

“Maybe you’ll both join us in Slytherin?” Malfoy asked, looking hopeful.

V shrugged. “History books don’t say how the sorting happens.”

 

“... Great, they’re all gonna be Slytherins, and I gotta watch myself sit at the Slytherin table,” Ron groaned. “I don’t wanna be a snake...”

Somewhere, Penny snickered.

 

As the four talked, they had followed the giant of a man -  and the rest of the first years - along a rocky path. “Careful now,” the man called out, “Ye’ll see yer first glimpse o’ Hogwarts in a sec!”

A low ooooooh rang out ahead. V looked up.

 

“Oh, this is always such a good sight,” Harry said, to the general agreement of the wizards.

 

It was... beautiful.

An enormous castle, lights glittering in the windows, towers stretching into the darkened sky... Whoa.

“Nu i nu...” Malfoy whispered.

“Coooooool,” roN added.

V simply admired the view in silence.

 

Exclamations of awe echoed the story characters.

 

The path led them to the shore of the lake, many tiny boats bobbing there. “No more ‘n four to a boat!” the giant man called out.

Shrugging, V got into a boat with roN, Lizzy, and Malfoy. Crossing the lake, she figured, was some kind of first year tradition - and cuddling up with roN was a bonus.

 

“Not a word,” Harry warned, even as Hermione started to grin at him.

 

“Everyone aboard?” the giant man checked. “Alright then - FORWARD!”

And with that, all the boats started gliding across the lake, towards the castle.

Nobody talked, during the crossing. V figured that everyone was simply in awe of the castle - not that she blamed anyone. It was a very impressive castle, and a magnificent view. She did find it fascinating, though, that the boats left no wakes on the lake - it remained a smooth mirror the entire time.

She wondered how that worked.

 

“Magic,” Ron deadpanned.

 

The procession of boats docked at the sheer cliff-face at the castle side of the lake, only a procession of smooth stone steps chiseled into it as a means of getting up it.

“Careful, now,” the giant man cautioned. “Th’ stairs migh’ not be slippery, but they are steep. Try not ta lag behind, eh?”

 

“...Nice stairs,” Adrien murmured in apprehension.

 

To V’s surprise, they weren’t slippery, indeed. Probably magic, wouldn’t do for firsties to fall and snap their necks. Neat.

Steep as fuck, though. V was used to it, and so was, apparently, Granger, weirdly enough, but the rest lagged behind quite a bit.

Well, roN was bounding up behind them, but the others, not so much.

 

“Yeah, that is weird,” Kaminari mused.

“Or the rest of them are just weaklings,” Bakugou barked.

 

“You are, all freaks, of nature,” Lizzy panted behind them, her and Malfoy doing their best to scurry up before the pack, but not quite keeping up. “What kind of, monsters, were you lot, in a past life?”

V suppressed a snort at the irony. “Very deadly ones,” she called back.

 

“She’s not even denying it,” Ginny muttered viciously.

 

“Ty suka,” Malfoy panted up at her. V openly snickered.

“Now, now, language, young’uns,” the giant cautioned. “We’re almost to the top, an’ ye can take a breather.”

Indeed, as the rest of the first years poured into the courtyard, panting, V simply looked around. roN was barely winded, which she took a note of. Granger was also barely winded, which... was she actually J like Ron was actually N? That was... kind of hilarious, actually. J as a tiny human, full of hubris. 

Hrm.

Now that V thought about it, it was awfully suspicious that various humans her age just happened to be future drones without their memories of being drones. Why was V special? Aside from the Saviour of the Wixen World thing. Damn it, she didn’t have enough data points.

 

“Why is she special?” Izuku asked curiously.

“Because this particular gang needs to almost die to dislodge the memories of their past lives,” Penny replied. “Given what Hogwarts is like...”

“They’ll remember by the end of the first year?” Ron asked sardonically. “Joy.”

 

“Everyone taken a breather?” the giant man called out. “Nobody left behind? Alrigh’ then, gather round!”

He knocked on the large door before them.

 

XD

 

The doors opened, revealing Professor McGonagall in all her emerald-robed glory.

 “Firs’ years, perfessor McGonagall,” the giant said.

“Thank you, Hagrid,” the professor replied, gazing over the mass of children before her. “You may go.”

Now-named Hagrid shuffled past her, into the depths of the castle.

 

“Wait, she didn’t know his name until now? ” Hermione asked incredulously.

“Nobody said it out loud,” Kaminari replied, “And she was busy with other thoughts.”

He was still getting weird looks from his classmates over that.

 

“Greetings, future students of Hogwarts,” professor McGonagall began. “As the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, I welcome you all to the castle. Now please, follow me.” She turned and walked inside, the children (including V) instinctively falling into line behind her.

She guided them through a large hall, past a pair of gilded doors, and into a small antechamber, before turning around once more.

“The Sorting Ceremony will begin soon,” she said. “As per tradition, you will not discover the method of the sorting until it begins, but you will all be sorted, into the houses of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. Your House will be your family for the next seven years - your triumphs and your failures will reflect upon it. I hope you remember that.”

The sea of first-years gazed up on her, silent. Professor McGonagall nodded. “Very well then. I shall go prepare the ceremony, and collect you then. I suggest you take these few moments to... smarten up, a little.” She turned, and left through another door.

 

“She’s so cool, ” Ginny whispered.

 

“We’ll stay together, okay Ron?” V whispered.

 “Okay!” roN whispered back. “I won’t be leaving you behind! Even if I have to wrestle a dozen trolls for it!” 

V blinked. “...Sorry?”

 

“...I’m with V,” Hermione said, frowning. “I thought we didn’t get Trolls until Halloween?”

“Fred and George,” Ron deadpanned.

 

Looking sheepish, roN rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, my brothers told me I had to wrestle a troll to get sorted. I think they were just trying to scare me tho...”

V blinked once more. “And you’d... do something that scares you... just to be with me?” she asked, certain she’d misheard.

roN blushed a little. “Well, I know we haven’t known each other long, but it feels like... with you, scary things won’t be as scary.”

 

“Oh my, ” Mina purred. “What a little charmer!”

“ Smoooooth, ” Hagakure agreed.

 

Oh.

Feeling self-conscious, but suddenly not caring in the slightest, V darted in and gave roN a quick hug, before darting away and burying her blushing face in her hands.

 

“ Adorable, ” Mina purred.

“She kills people, you know,” Bakugou snarked.

“ Let me have my ships! ” Mina hissed back.

 

“Aw, look,” Malfoy purred, sidling up to V in an attempt to be.... probably something other than what it came out as. “Does Potter have herself a boyfriend? ”

Snarling defensively, V uncoiled and smeared the glowing X across her glasses. “You got a problem with that?”

Malfoy yelped and scrambled away from V. “Блядь! Potter what the-”

 

“...What is that expression called, anyway?” Izuku wondered.

Penny melted out of the shadows, wearing that exact symbol on her own visor. “Disassembly Mode,” she said. “But I, personally, call it The Killer’s Cross.”

“...Have you killed anyone?” the green-haired boy asked hesitantly.

The Fae turned to look at him. “Are you certain that you want to know the answer to that right now?”

“...maybe not,” Izuku muttered.

 

“Miss Malfoy. ”

Malfoy eeped and shut up, scrambling away from professor McGonagall’s unimpressed gaze. “S-sorry, Professor,” she breathed, looking back at V, who had already dispelled her smears. “...Must’ve imagined it.”

“Quite,” professor McGonagall replied, staring down at her from over her glasses. “I won’t be taking points today, but that is your only warning about this kind of language in my earshot. Am I clear?” Malfoy nodded. 

 

“Okay, hear me out,” Ron began.

“Just because she got Malfoy in trouble doesn’t mean we immediately like her,” Harry countered.

 

“Good. The Sorting Ceremony is ready. Follow me.”

She turned and walked through the door. Cautiously, several of them avoiding V, the students followed.

 

“So what happens when she runs out of public favour?” Lila asked, speaking up for the first time.

“By then, she’ll have bigger problems,” Penny said idly. “But then again, so will everyone else.”

 

The hall they were led to was... magnificent. There were four long tables set along the hall, with a fifth overlooking them all. Dozens of candles simply floated in the air, giving the place a magical feel - exacerbated by the ceiling opening up into an endless deep blue sky, with faint stars slightly, but not quite visible above the candles.

In that moment, V truly understood magic.

 

“ Yeah, ” Harry sighed.

 

Between the four tables filled with older students, and the fifth table full of presumably the teachers - and Hagrid, whom V suddenly recognised - was a single, three-legged stool. And on that stool was an old hat.

Professor McGonagall stood next to the hat, scroll in hand, and waited. 

A tear opened in the hat, near its brim, like a wide mouth - and it began to sing.

 

“...do we have to listen to a hat sing?” Aoyama asked incredulously. “Mon dieu, it is so drab! ”

“I was planning on skipping it,” Penny mused, “But you know what, no, yes you do. Suffer.”

 

"Oh you may not think I'm pretty,

But don't judge on what you see,

I'll eat myself if you can find

A smarter hat than me.

 

“Hatsume could build one,” Izuku offered.

 

You can keep your bowlers black,

Your top hats sleek and tall,

For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat

And I can cap them all.

 

“Arrogant bastard,” Bakugou sneered.

 

There's nothing hidden in your head

The Sorting Hat can't see,

 

“Wait, what?” Lila asked, looking alarmed.

 

So try me on and I will tell you

Where you ought to be.

 

“We’re gonna see them all in Slytherin, I tell you,” Ron muttered.

 

You might belong in Gryffindor,

Where dwell the brave at heart,

Their daring, nerve, and chivalry

Set Gryffindors apart;

 

“And yes, we’re all Gryffindors,” Ginny said.

 

You might belong in Hufflepuff,

Where they are just and loyal,

Those patient Hufflepuffs are true

And unafraid of toil;

 

“Mostly duffers,” Ron muttered.

 

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

 

“They’re seething that they lost Hermione to us,” Harry grinned.

 

Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folks use any means

To achieve their ends.

 

“Any means means any means,” Ginny hissed.

 

So put me on! Don't be afraid!

And don't get in a flap!

You're in safe hands (though I have none)

For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

 

“I don’t think they’re all so straightforward,” Izuku muttered. “Everything has a nuance. I think we’re about to be surprised.”

 

The rest of the school burst into applause as the first years simply blinked at the sight.

“We just have to put on a hat?” roN asked, sounding relieved. “Am I glad for that!”

“You can wrestle a troll for me later,” V whispered, smiling. “First, though, we gotta convince the Hat, okay?”

“Okay!” he whispered.

 

“...Okay, Hermione, I know you don’t care for Divination,” Ron began, “but that’s a prophetic statement if I ever heard one.”

“Don’t start,” Hermione muttered.

 

Professor McGonagall unrolled the scroll in her hands and cleared her throat as the applause died down. “I will call your names in alphabetical order,” she said sternly. “When I call your name, you will sit upon the stool and place the Hat on your head. Now. Abbott, Hannah!”

 

“She’s a Hufflepuff,” Harry pointed out. “And mousy.”

Above them, Penny grinned a savage grin.

 

The sorting went variably. Sometimes, the Hat yelled out a House immediately, other times it waffled a bit. Most of the names, V didn’t know. As it happened, however, the first familiar name was...

“Granger, Hermione!”

 

“Calling it, Slytherin,” Ron deadpanned.

 

V watched curiously as probably!J scurried over to the stool and jammed the hat on her head. There were several moments of audible hemming and hawing, before the Hat called out-

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

 

“WHAT!”

“...I don’t see it,” Harry said, shaking his head even as Ron gaped at Not!Hermione.

 

Interesting. What did the song say, just and loyal, and unafraid of toil? Honestly, yeah, that did sound like J, the corporate ladder climber that she was.

 

“...okay, now I see it,” Harry amended.

 

Several other names went by, with “Malfoy, Ursa” sorted to “SLYTHERIN”, with “Parkinson, Elizabeth” following her there. V would have to reconnect with them later. And then...

“Potter, Violet!”

 

A thought struck Harry. “What if they’re all Hufflepuff?” he asked.

“That’s what I was thinking,” Izuku said. “The Slytherin flags were red, er, green herrings.”

 

V walked forwards, taking the Hat and putting it on her head. “Interesting,” said a voice.

V stilled. Are you - the Hat?

“Indeed,” the little voice replied, “but I’m not here to chat with you, I’m here to Sort you. A past life, I see - and you remember it. So young... how tragic.”

 

“...What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked, feeling affronted. 

“Near-death experience before eleven, duh, ” Bakugou sneered. “Didn’t you hear the fairy?”

“...Right,” Harry muttered.

 

What’s that supposed to mean? V thought indignantly.

 

Harry staunchly ignored raised eyebrows.

 

“Don’t mind that, now,” the Hat cautioned. “Now, you... you are a survivor. Cunning folk, yes, Slytherin would do you good... but Slytherin would also leave you unhappy. No, you are about loyalty, loyalty to ones you love, and not afraid to work for them... yes, I know exactly where you belong - in...”

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

 

“Knew it!” Izuku whispered.

 

There was a moment of stupefied silence as V took the hat off and put it on the stool, glancing at the house in black and yellow, before looking at roN - who shot her a thumbs up. Of course.

 

“Merlin’s balls, they are all going to be in Hufflepuff,” Ron muttered.

 

V smiled and sat down at the Hufflepuff table, opposite from Granger, and next to an older student with purple hair as the Hall finally shook off their stupor and erupted into polite if confused applause.

“Sup, Potter,” said the purple-haired student next to her. “Welcome to the House of the Badgers. I’m Tonks.”

 

Kaminari was squinting at the new face. “...am I going crazy or is that Uzi?”

“You’re going crazy,” Bakugou snarked. Kaminari stuck his tongue out.

 

“V,” V replied, watching the Sorting and paying only a little attention to her surroundings. “Call me Violet and I’ll stab you.”

“You would,” Tonks said, sounding amused. “So-”

 

“She’s acting like she’s familiar with V,” Kaminari pointed out. “That’s gotta be Uzi.”

 

“Weasley, Ronald!”

V shushed Tonks, leaning towards N’s sorting. Come on...

“HUFFLEPUFF!”

 

“Dammit,” Ron muttered.

 

“YES!” 

V suddenly became aware of a lot of eyes on her, including professor McGonagall’s raised eyebrow. Embarrassed, she sank back onto the bench, even as roN sat down to her other side. 

 

“ Adorable, ” Mina purred.

 

“Aw,” he said, sounding touched. “You were worried! I told you we’d be together, wouldn’t we?”

“ Adorable, ” Tonks drawled from her other side. “So how long have you two been ‘together’?”

“Oh, we met on the train,” roN replied cheerfully as V tried to hide in his robes. “I’m Ron, by the way, Ron Weasley, but you may have heard that already...”

 

“See, Tonks agrees,” Mina grinned. 

“Still betting that’s Uzi,” Kaminari shot back.

 

“Yup,” Tonks agreed. “Now pay attention, Dumbledore’s about to make a speech. You too, ickle V.”

V tucked herself out of roN’s embrace just to glare at the other student, but for some reason that didn’t seem to work as Tonks just looked at her like someone who would look at a baby picture of her or something.

 

Kaminari was making aggressive gestures towards the scene.

 

However, V was distracted from the annoyance as the man with an enormous silver beard, who had been sitting in the middle of the table, stood up and spread his arms. “Welcome!” he called out, tone welcoming and warm. “Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!”

 

“Aaaaaand scene! ” Penny called out, as the world faded back in. “Off to beds with you lot, and I have a treehouse for the French. Try to get some sleep, I have an exciting morning planned for y’all~!”

“Ominous,” Harry deadpanned.

Notes:

Next time, MDA.

Chapter 6: MDA 1 - N-Zuku

Summary:

The gang gets to the MHA story. Some revelations are had.

“Goooooood morning, campers!” came the gleeful shout of a Fae that the humans were growing to dislike. “I do hope that you slept well, because I have a surprise for all of you~!”

Aggravated groans answered her. “We’re awake, ” Bakugou growled. “Have been for the last half an hour. ”

“Oh, I know,” Penny replied glibly. “I’m nowhere near patient enough to wait around while you all drag yourselves out of bed and through breakfast.”

“You’d have to wait for it either way,” Aizawa pointed out.

“Says you, ” Penny replied. “At any rate... the surprise! ”

She clapped her hands. “Yesterday, all of you followed the reincarnation party line of one group of reincarnated drones. Today, on the other hand? This morning? You’ll get to experience the reincarnated adventures of another group of drones!” Her grin widened. “That is to say, another group of the same Drones.”

Glances were exchanged. “That makes... no sense,” someone finally said.

“On the contrary,” Penny replied, grinning. “It makes perfect sense. Previously, you followed the adventures of V Potter, reincarnated eleven hundred years before her time, in a world of Magic. In this case, however? Things went in a slightly different direction, and you’ll get to follow... N Midoriya. ”

Class 1-A froze.

“Secrets are unlocking,” Penny purred, snapping her fingers. “Too bad the exit ain’t~!”

 

Uzi was pretty sure she had this. She had her hand grasping Cyn’s core. The Solver was going to die. 

 

“...what’s going on?” Adrien asked slowly. “This... we don’t have context for this.”

“You don’t,” Penny acknowledged. “But you will. And I think that’s the superior option.”

 

Her only mistake was for her to smile at her enemy. 

The Solver was a petty being. It would rather die than be killed, as weird as it would sound. If it was going to die, it wouldn’t die alone. 

Using its cute puppet, the Solver addressed a smile to Uzi before summoning a [NULL] on their feet.

“Spiteful: Bye bye!” 

 

“No!” Mina yelled out, even as several people gasped. That... was that a black hole?

 

N tried to get as fast as he could to Uzi, and both of their gaze met one last time. They would have wanted their happy ending. 

N regretted not having kissed Uzi. Uzi regretted not hugging more N.

The following explosion made everyone join the void, the absolute end… 

Or did they?

 

“To reincarnate,” Penny said, “You first have to die. This group just had the misfortune of dying during the final battle.”

 

When N woke up, he felt weird. First off, he was alive. And as far as he knew, getting blasted by a [NULL] was maybe painless, because instantaneous, but it was also deadly. Considering he wasn’t surrounded by Uzi, V, Tessa, and dogs, N guessed he wasn’t in Heaven either. Also, it kind of hurts. So, N uncontrollably cried.

 

“...Oh no, ” Bakugou realized. “Fuck me, she wasn’t kidding.”

 

“You are so… Beautiful.” 

The voice seemed nice, and it calmed N as he was put against something soft and warm. In his field of vision was a woman with green hair. A human woman- Waiiiiit. What? 

 

“Awwww, Momadoriya is so nice!” half of Class 1-A cooed, even as Izuku stared at the ruthless puppy of a killer, as himself. That was... that was weird.

 

Everyone mistook N’s crisis discovery as him reincarnating as a human, as the usual baby crying. He was such a cutie after all. Inko still wondered how her son managed to get golden eyes. They were beautiful but strange. Still, it was her son. Izuku… Wait no. Something about it didn’t sound right. Instinctively, Inko named her son slightly differently. Enzuku.

Why did she want to write it N-zuku?

 

“...Is this how the reincarnation naming convention works?” Harry deadpanned.

“Not always,” Penny retorted, “but usually, yeah.”

 

N-zuku was very disturbed by the fact that he remembered his past life, but also because he was human now. That one was weird. His mom (still trying to appreciate that concept) was a wonderful woman, and N-zuku loved to help her. He always loved to do anything after all. 

 

“...Wait a minute,” Kaminari realized. “He remembers from the start!”

The teenagers looked at each other as they realized that the electric boy was right. Had Izuku almost died at birth or...?

“Oh, and this group don’t need a near-death experience,” Penny supplied idly. “Just so you know.”

There were sighs of relief.

 

In addition, his dad was often absent because of his work. Still, according to his mom, he was a good man, simply extremely busy with work, as his boss kept sending him overseas. N-Zuku was a bit too young and inexperienced to understand the situation fully, but he accepted it.

 

“What does your dad do, Midori?” Mina asked curiously.

Izuku shrugged. “I have no idea. He... hasn’t been around since... ever, really. He could be dead, a deadbeat, or even All for One for all I know...”

Curious eyes turned towards Penny.

The fae shrugged. “No fucking clue. He could be dead, deadbeat, or even All for One for all I know.”

The stares turned unamused. The Fae looked unapologetic.

 

The one thing disturbing him the most was these ‘quirks’. N was pretty sure, according to his database… Wait, no. Memories. According to them, humans didn’t have special powers. Granted, not everyone was equal. His mom could only make small things float to her. Useful for households but not much use otherwise. 

However, there were really cool people, and N loved them. Heroes. Heroes who were saving people from villains and bad guys! Unlike what he did. He was a failure. 

 

“Wait, what?” Izuku asked.

“Failed to stop the death of everyone he loved, duh,” Bakugou deadpanned.

 

“FEAR NOT. BECAUSE. I. AM. HERE.” N-Zuku watched the “All-Might's first big rescue” video countless times, and he often cried. Because this was what he had aimed to be for them. Uzi. V. Thad. Everyone at the Outpost-9. Even J. 

 

“....Oh no, he’s adorable, ” Ochako whispered.

“...Well, at least some things stay the same,” Izuku acknowledged, smiling.

 

“Mom? Do you think I can be a hero too?” N-Zuku asked Inko, who smiled at him and kissed him on the forehead. 

“Of course, Zuku. You will be the greatest.”

 

Bakugou harrumphed.

“Okay, Vegeta,” Adrien grinned.

 

Enzuku loved going to school. It was kind of fun, and it allowed him to learn more about the world. It was Inko who typed for him the All-Might videos, but now that he was learning how to write and draw, he was able to check on things by himself. 

Things like JCJenson… Or even the Absolute Solver. The only time he saw something even remotely close to the latter was on an anonymous board. He hadn’t been able to see much more as Inko closed the tab and told him in no uncertain terms he should not go to such a place before he was older. She didn’t specify how old. 

 

“...What, exactly, is the Absolute Solver?” Hermione asked outright.

“Depends on who you ask,” Penny replied. “If you ask these guys, it’s a runaway AI. If you ask V as she is now, she’d say it’s a monster.”

“And if we ask you?” Adrien asked.

“Then I smile mysteriously and zip it,” the Fae replied, doing exactly that.

 

“Wow, you are awesome!” N-Zuku perked up from his drawings. Now that he had “free time” (not hunting anyone…), N-Zuku loved to draw things in detail. More often than not, heroes or quirks in action. 

He smiled as he was one of his favorite subjects to draw, even if she was a bit mean. 

 

“Oooh, do I detect a mysterious female friend~?” Mina purred.

“Don’t be an idiot, Raccoon Eyes!” Bakugou barked. “The only childhood friend Deku had was me! ”

Suddenly and without warning, a certain Fae burst out cackling.

 

Katsuji Bakugou, technically a childhood friend, as Inko and Mitsuki were good friends. She was highly bossy, and she had a fun quirk about explosions. 

The pig-tailed girl smiled at her cronies while making more sparks in the palm of her hands.

 

“ WHAT THE FUCK!? ”

Penny was still wheezing on the floor as Bakugou gaped at his J counterpart, arms hanging limply at his side.

“ Ooooooh, it’s that kind of Childhood Friends, huh~?” Mina grinned.

“...he is going to kill you when he snaps out of it, you know that, right?” Kirishima asked.

“Worth it,” Mina declared.

 

“Of course! You will see. I will be the best hero!” Katsuji said while laughing. It wasn’t long before she noticed Enzuku in the back, quiet and always drawing.

He didn’t even notice the two other kids who were coming behind him to steal his notebook. 

 

“...they’re also dead,” Kirishima deadpanned.

 

Katsuji stomped furiously onwards and the two dumbass kids stopped suddenly as they noticed the explosive girl’s face.

Some called her Asuka reincarnated for a reason. Pretty much the only difference she had with the Evangelion Pilot was her hair color.

 

“...Who?” Harry asked.

In response, Penny snapped her fingers, generating a short clip of the red-headed girl yelling at someone. Several people considered it, before glancing at Bakugo, evidently doing some mental superimposition.

“...What are the odds of someone calling him that to his face and living?” Ron whispered to Harry.

“...About the same as me getting through a year without running into Voldemort again,” Harry whispered back.

“Figures,” Ron muttered.

 

“ENZUKU. ARE YOU STILL DRAWING?!” 

“Oh. Sorry, J-Chan!” N-zuku said. As always, Katsuji stopped in her tracks as she heard the name.

“Don’t… Call me that. Katsuji. Or Bakugou.” She was low-key threatening as she slammed her fist near his adorable face. This dumbass. It looked too much like… “Or I will begin to call you something EQUALLY DUMB. CAPICHE?”

 

“...They both remember, right?” Harry checked. “So why...?”

“Guilt,” Ginny deadpanned.

 

She then turned her gaze towards the bullies who were going to pull some dumbass prank on Enzuku again. 

“... Thanks Katsuji! Always looking for me! You are awesome!” 

Weirdly enough, Enzuku’s compliments were the only ones Katsuji hated, and weirdly enough, she seemed filled with disgust and remorse. She yelled hard.

“I AM NOT LOOKING OUT FOR YOU. I AM SIMPLY MAKING SURE YOU DON’T GET HURT!”

 

Heads were tilted in Bakugou’s direction. 

“You know...” Mina began.

“...that explains a lot,” Kaminari finished.

 

Their kindergarten teachers looked at their antics with a smile. 

“Tsundere?” 

“Tsundere.” 

Katsuji heard that one and blushed hard. “I AM NOT A TSUNDERE!” 

 

“You say that,” Adrien began, “ But... ”

“Shut the fuck up, Model Boy,” Bakugou muttered, seeming to begin snapping out of it.

 

Besides, she liked GIRLS. GIRLS.

 

“...compelling motive,” Adrien allowed.

“...wait, that’s allowed? ” Ginny asked. “I always thought-”

“Of course it’s not,” Mrs. Weasley scoffed. “It’s just a passing... fancy...?” She suddenly became aware of a gauntlet of stares towards her. 

“Oh good, nineties prejudices,” Penny scoffed. 

“There is nothing wrong with attraction to the same gender,” Mr. Aizawa said evenly. 

“But-” Mrs. Weasley began.

“I like women,” Ms. Bustier said. “I always have. I have a girlfriend I plan to marry one day. Is that a passing fancy?”

“I have a husband,” Mr. Aizawa said, ignoring gasps from his class. “We’ve been married for almost eight years now.” He gave a challenging stare.

The Fae appeared next to Mrs. Weasley, looking at her in consideration. “You’ve overcome your prejudices before,” she said consideringly. “Or is it in the future? I can’t always tell. But I’m sure you can do it again. Can’t you?”

The woman looked between the three. “...Can I think on it?” she asked.

“Think away,” Penny replied evenly.

 

“I just hope I can have a quirk as cool as yours!” Enzuku said with a big, smiling beam.

Katsuji saw that and hit him on the head.

“Don’t be idiotic. You will never have a quirk as awesome as mine!”

 

“...I dunno, Midoriya has a pretty sweet Quirk now,” Kaminari said, even as he still gave awed looks towards Aizawa.

“Bah,” Bakugou scoffed.

 

“I am sorry kid, but you don’t seem to have a quirk.” Doctor Garaki sighed as he crushed the dream of a kid in front of his mother. 

 

“...eh?”

 

Hey, you could be a monster doing unholy science and using orphans as a test subject, but still feel bad for a kid who would never develop a quirk. 

 

Bakugou’s head shot up. “Wait, our old doctor is doing what!? ”

“Your old doctor is a dick, ” Mina said with feeling.

 

“... So you confirm the diagnosis?” Inko sighed hard as she held her boy’s hair against herself. He was shocked by the information after all and barely reacted. 

“Indeed. Considering my own research and your son’s skeleton… Well, he will either be quirkless or need a miracle.” Garaki confirmed with a grave nod. Hell, he even ran a DNA test to be sure. 

 

“...so this is a divergence from our Deku, right?” Ochako asked. “Cause, you know. He has a Quirk.”

Izuku stiffened only minutely. Oddly enough, so did Aoyama, but nobody noticed aside from Penny, who merely smiled at him.

 

Inko headpatted her son, who suddenly came back to reality… And hugged her, not crying at all. 

“It’s okay mama!” 

Well, at least the kid took it well. Garaki lifted a list and scratched his name. The Quirkless were not really useful for his research after all. After that, he gave the kid a candy and appreciated his fluffy hair. 

 

“So we’re investigating that old fucker when we get back, right?” Bakugou demanded.

“Indeed,” Aizawa replied, walking over. “How do you know him?”

“Old coot was our pediatric doctor ages ago,” Bakugou spat. “Had a grandson that hung around us.”

 

“However, you clearly have some vestigial mutations considering your hair and your eyes. Besides, the society isn’t idiotic and thinking quirkless are an inferior species or something. I mean. We are still humans.” Garaki said kindly to the kid, who nodded furiously. Hell, worst case scenario, if the kid became a vigilante, Garaki might even refer him to All For One. The man always loved to have some quirkless become his minions.  

 

“ WHAT!? ” Izuku and Bakugou chorused, eyes wide, one pair in shock and the other in rage.

“Okay, we’re definitely investigating that fucker,” Bakugou growled.

 

Inko was worried for her son. Despite the smile he showed to the doctor, she saw him cry when he thought no one was looking at him. Something about failing people. 

She knew it was infringing on her son’s privacy, but to check on his mental state, she would often verify his drawings. 

They were mostly about quirks, as usual, but also… There were robots. They were drawn in exquisite detail, especially a purple one who looked mean but also kind of nice at the same time. With a lot of heart. 

And sometimes, he mentioned he failed her. He failed everyone. They all died because of him. 

Inko didn’t know what to do, except hug him and help change his mind. How does one help their kids with the death of their imaginary friends?

 

“...good question,” Aizawa muttered.

 

“So, I should normally ask you what career you all want… But we all know the answer, right?” 

“HEROES!” All the students screamed while displaying their quirks together. All except Enzuku, but no one dared to annoy him. First off, while he loved to draw everything and anything, he was always making sure he had authorization. The fact that his drawings were actually good helped a lot. 

 

“...so we can all agree that that’s super illegal, right Iida?” Mina asked.

“Indeed!” the Class President exclaimed, aggressively chopping with his hands. “A middle school classroom is an inherently public setting, so-”

“Don’t quote the exact laws,” Penny cut him off. “I can’t be bothered to look them up.”

“...Eh?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

 

But more importantly, he was under Katsuji’s protection. A lot had fun teasing them about a potential relationship, but… Katsuji explained in no uncertain terms the next one, making a joke about those who would never have offspring of their own. 

Actually, the main theory was that Katsuji was somehow linked to Enzuku being quirkless. As he often said with a smile, he loved to do anything, but she always looked sad.

 

“No, that’s because of their reincarnation, obviously,” Kaminari disagreed.

 

“In fact, we have two people wanting to go to UA. Namely Katsuji…” 

“Hey, I want to be the best hero and be sponsored by the best corporation and live a comfortable life, baby!” Katsuji said with a snarky smile at the populace. She was the strongest and the most efficient after all!

 

There were faint snorts at that statement.

 

“And Enzuku.” 

Everyone looked at Enzuku, who sheepishly passed his hand in his hair. This wasn’t part of his plan. He had hoped to meet Katsuji at UA and basically put her in front of the “fait accompli”.

 

“...she’d just kill him there, he knows that, right?” Izuku asked weakly.

 

His childhood friend was nice, looking for him and everything, but she was also very bossy and commanding. Not to mention her mood swings. Seriously, it was like speaking with J, even if she was a tad bit nicer than his former leader. 

 

“Oh, she’s like J?” Harry snarked. “Why do you think that is?”

 

ABSOLUTELY NOT.” Heeeere she goes. Enzuku fully expected her angry outburst as she rushed to his desk, her wrath apparent on her face. “YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A QUIRK, YOU IDIOT PROLETARIAN!”

“Hehehe… Sorry?” Enzuku said, still highly embarrassed by the teacher. Bad guy.

Katsuji yelled at him in the classroom for several minutes as she wouldn’t let him risk his life. He was going to do something he could do. Like being an artist or a dog trainer. BUT NOT A HERO.

N-Zuku did the best thing he knew to do when this happened. He repressed it with a smile. This somehow infuriated Katsuji even more. 

 

“Man, poor N,” Kaminari muttered.

 

After school, N-zuku wisely decided to evade the attention of Katsuji. Sure, she was on his track to continue to yell at him and hopefully make him change his mind. 

However, N-Zuku wasn’t going to let it go. For a time, he had actually considered not becoming a hero. He didn’t have a quirk, his wings, his armaments… He still had some skills. For fun, at a fair, he checked if he was still aiming correctly. 

To this day, all local fairs with a shooting range had a picture of him labeled “NOT ALLOWED” because he got away several times with the top prize. 

 

There were several snorts at that one.

 

However, the mention UA was accepting, for the first time, quirkless as heroes? It reminded N-zuku of her. Of Uzi. How, despite being a worker drone, she took her destiny into her own two hands, built a sick-as-hell Railgun, and confronted the Disassembly Drone. 

All Might was his favorite hero. Uzi was his model. If she could do it… Then in her memory, the least he could do was become the hero he wasn’t able to be the last time.

 

“ Adorable, ” Mina cooed. 

Izuku, however, recognized the location, and stiffened. Here it came...

 

“My, my… A new flesh to hide in.” A voice came from the tunnel, and suddenly, N-Zuku was engulfed by some kind of slime. Trying to scream didn’t work as the slime tried immediately to enter there, “Now, stay still. I promise I will make it…” 

 

“ No! ” Ochako cried out.

 

“STOP RIGHT HERE, CRIMINAL! YOU HAVE COMMITTED CRIMES AGAINST THE CITIZENS OF JAPAN!” N-Zuku discovered that All-Might apparently liked to play The Elder Scrolls. That was… A thing. 

Then, All-Might punched. It looked as epic as in the various videos N-Zuku liked to watch and sometimes make AMVs of.

 

“Oh thank god,” everyone breathed.

Adrien, meanwhile, sidled up to Izuku. “Do you make AMVs too?”

 

In this universe, it is to be noted that N-Zuku didn’t grab All-Might because he wanted to ask him if he could be a hero even without a quirk.

 

Aizawa narrowed his eyes. The way that was phrased...

 

He wanted to be one anyway. Having All-Might’s approbation would be nice, yes, but not mandatory.

“You wanted to ask me… Ideas to train your body?” Small Might asked, dumbfounded by the young man's enthusiasm.

 

“Oh look, Deku, this one’s more proactive than you,” Bakugou snarked.

 

Hell, he almost saw himself younger, in front of Nana. 

The young lad had determination in his stare. His only fault was being scrawny. 

All-Might studied the idea… and put it on hold. He knew the kid’s name, Enzuku Midoriya, because of his notebook full of excellent drawings. He would ask Nedzu to do a background check, and All-Might would put it as a “maybe”.

 

“...a maybe for what? ” Aizawa asked suspiciously.

 

Still, All-Might was more than happy to give him, with a chuckle, a training plan, just to check his motivation for the long term. 

So, when All-Might left the young man, he was actually in a good mood despite his time limit being down. 

Being happy made him realise, a bit late, that he had missed a bottle containing a certain villain. 

 

“...Aw, fuck, ” Bakugou realized. “It’s that day.”

“What day?” Kirishima asked.

“ That day,” Izuku confirmed.

 

Katsuji was angry. Furious. LIVID. She was as angry as a shareholder being told the company stock went down the drain because someone had the bright idea to not respect things like consent rights to receive advertisements or not. Something stupid and yet totally avoidable. 

 

“...Corpo Bakubro is weird to think about,” Kirishima muttered.

 

In her case, she had missed the signs about this idiotic puppy that was Enzuku. He was his charge, kind of. He was obviously an idiot. A kind idiot, but an idiot nonetheless. 

Like the one she failed. Like all the others, she failed. 

 

“...huh.”

 

On the surface, she claimed to want to be a hero because she wanted to ride the corporate life, be a living advertisement, and enjoy the status. Well, if she was honest, she actually wanted to do that. But. It was actually the secondary reason. 

Remorses were the first reason. She had betrayed everyone, and she received the traitor’s reward: Death. Then, thanks to some kind of twisted fate, she awakened into a human body… Living humans, just like the ones she helped to purge all those years ago.

 

Harry stilled. “Wait, she what now?”

“Spoilers,” Penny grinned.

 

Parental love. Support. A powerful quirk. She had literally everything… Except for three people. 

“I don’t need any of you.” 

What a fucking lie. She had needed them all along.

 

“Isn’t that how it always is?” Mina asked.

 

Then came the green-haired idiot. He smiled just like her former favorite idiot. He said the same things. She actually wanted to ask him a few times if.. By any chance, he was him. Every time, she decided against it. 

“Oh, hello N. I am alive. I know I betrayed V and you to the monster that killed us, but I am really sorry. Will you forgive me?” 

 

“From what we’ve seen on N, he would!” Kaminari exclaimed. “In a heartbeat!”

“That’s what she’s afraid of, dumbass,” Bakugou scoffed.

 

His refusal to forgive her wasn’t what scared her. What scared her… was him actually forgiving her. 

 

“See?”

 

Katsu-J didn’t deserve what she had in her life. She knew it. All she could do was work hard to maybe… Maybe actually deserves this second chance. 

SO WHY, WHY RIGHT NOW, WAS SHE ON THE VERGE OF DYING IN THIS WEAK HUMAN BODY?! 

 

“Bad luck?” Kaminari offered.

 

This slime came out of nowhere as she was brooding. She had to dissuade the idiot from becoming a hero. It was a dangerous position, and she didn’t want him to be in danger! No, she wasn’t in love with him, good lord. First off, mentally speaking, she was way older than him, and secondly, she was a lesbian. 

She still cared for him as a replacement, a second chance to be what she should have been to N.

 

“Yeah, about that,” Harry snarked.

 

“HMMMFF!”

“STAY STILL, MEAT PUPPET!” 

Was this what the universe actually wanted for her? Make her think she had a second chance to do things right… And then snuff it? 

 

“Don’t worry!” Kirishima said, suddenly remembering. “All Might will save you!”

“Sure,” Bakugou snarled. “ All Might. ”

 

Katsu-J cried at her punishment. It was… It was fair. But then, she remembered V and N. What would they have done?

She yelled more in rage, as she tried to generate all kinds of explosions. She even tried her EMP, as she discovered she could recreate through her explosions, most of her former arsenal. Rocket. EMP. Guns. 

Against this slime fucker it was useless. She was crying in frustration, as the fire around her propagated. Well. If she was going to die… Maybe she could try to make the fucker burn with her. J was petty. If she was going to die, it wouldn’t be alone. 

 

“Yeah, take him with you,” Bakugou growled. 

 

“KATSUJI!” A voice filled with worry and fear pierced the fire, and she looked in tears. 

Enzuku was there. The idiot. Oh. At least maybe her death would traumatize him enough to not be a … Oh fuck. If he was like N, he was going to be more motivated than ever if she died. Because she would be the one he failed to protect.

 

“...I would,” Izuku agreed.

“Dumbass,” Bakugou scoffed.

 

Katsuji, with conviction, tried to explode with more power than before, failing nonetheless. 

Oh god, now, he was running toward her. That idiot, the heroes weren’t even able to save her! Hell, that dude Death Arms actually got knocked out hard because he tried to! 

What was he going to do?!

 

“His best,” Ochako said fondly.

 

N-Zuku didn’t think when he rushed to save Katsuji. It was his friend, and she was in danger. She was crying. 

The same girl who had saved him countless times at school, even if she always denied having done so. 

His friend, who had offered him books about dogs and how to draw. 

N-Zuku yelled as he threw his notebook at the eye of the slime. It hit with an unnatural accuracy. 

 

Izuku’s eyes widened. “The aim! He still has the aiming skills!”

“Of a killer,” Harry reminded him.

 

As a result, the slime villain directed Katsuji’s explosive hands toward the idiot who had intervened somewhere he shouldn't have.

N-zuku saw Katsuji’s eyes, filled with fear. In despair, knowing she might lose some teeth, she did her best to produce an explosion near her mouth. She had to yell what was on her heart.

 

Mina opened her mouth.

“One word out of you, Raccoon Eyes...” Bakugou threatened.

Mina closed her mouth.

 

“N! RUN!” 

N blinked for a second. Then he stared with determination. More determination than ever when he had tried to jump from a wall to try and fly. 

More determination than when he tried to lift a tree. 

“Sorry J.” 

 

“And here we go ,” Penny whispered, glee in her voice.

 

Turned out that the universe had a sense of humour. N was indeed quirkless... But he wasn’t mutationless. 

J had confirmed it was her N when two wings, seemingly made of bone blades, emerged from his back, destroying his top. Then, he disappeared… or rather, he moved so fast and powerfully, the wind pressure exploded the slime.

 

Izuku stared . “...what?”

“What,” Bakugou echoed.

 

J in his arms, N smiled at her.

“You should have told me it was you! Golly! I feel so dumb for not realizing!” 

“Idiot! We will speak about that later!”

 

“...Wings, though?” Izuku questioned. “Where would that mutation even come from?”

“Copper-9,” Harry snarked.

 

“HEY LOVERBIRDS, GET DOWN HERE!” 

“I think you would rather go back in the bottle!” 

Out of nowhere, All-Might suddenly appeared. This N-Zuku… He went from a “Maybe” to a “DAMN YES”. He had rushed out of nowhere to save his friend. According to what he said about being quirkless… This was his first quirk activation. Look at him, flying perfectly. 

 

“...what are you up to, Yagi,” Aizawa muttered.

 

Not to mention, it had a certain charm, to give OfA to a flying hero. Nana would have loved it. He was going to mentor this kid! 

 

Izuku stiffened again, and this time Aizawa noticed. His eyes narrowed. That was suspicious.

 

But first… Bring that bottle. The kid winked at him, and All Might saluted him with his fingers. 

“NOW GET ME DOWN YOU IDIOT!” The girl had a fiery personality on the other side. Fun. 

 

“I suspect that Katsuji isn’t escaping the Katzuku allegiations,” Mina commented.

“Shut the fuck up, Pinky.”

 

After being congratulated by the heroes and yelled at by them too, Katsu-J and N-zuku walked towards their home, in a weird silence.

“... Since when did you have doubts about me being J?” J ended up breaking the silence, and N thought about it for a second or two. “Two years ago. I heard you yell as you did on Copper-9 when you stepped on a LEGO during a sleepover at home.” 

 

Izuku snorted.

 

Of course, that was how N would have had his doubts. 

“But I didn’t say anything because what if it was like in an isekai story where only the personality and not the memories were there?” … Oh god. Fucking mangas. J groaned even more.

“Of course. Mangas. My bane.”

 

“What’s wrong with mangas?” Adrien questioned in confusion.

 

“And why did you not tell me you were J?” 

“... We kind of left on bad terms.” J pointed out, with less snark this time. She wasn’t proud of that. 

N grimaced and understood. Yeeah. They kind of fought to the death, if he remembered correctly. Also, she tried to kill him at the bunker with a virus.

 

“...yeah, no, that’s fair,” Mina sighed.

“Kinda fucked if you ask me,” Kaminari muttered.

 

“Yeah… That’s a good point. Honestly, I might have tried to punch you when I was five.” He was nice, but even he had some limits. 

 

“I kinda wanna see that,” Harry commented.

“It might work, too,” Izuku mused.

“You wanna go, Deku?!” Bakugou exploded.

 

J sighed… “Fine. At least… You actually have a quirk. Nice wings.” 

“Yeah! Tsubasa is going to be happy to fly with someone!” N said with a huge smile.

“Try, more jealous than a middle manager getting passed over for a promotion.” J pointed out, and N, as usual, swept that with a hand.

 

“...Hey Kacchan, how is Tsubasa, anyway?” Izuku asked. “You know, since he moved away.”

“Why the fuck would I know?” Bakugou demanded. “He moved away with his grandfather and I never saw the fucker again, why would... I... care...”

“...Kacchan?” Izuku asked.

“...Doesn’t the old fuck work for All for One?” Bakugou asked slowly.

“...You don’t think?” Izuku asked in horror.

“I think that the Nomu that tried to kidnap you in Hosu had some very familiar wings,” Penny mused, to the boys’ horror. “Don’t you?”

“ Fuck, ” Izuku swore empathically.

 

“Naaah. However, this does bring a few questions.” N was suddenly thinking…

“Yeah. If we are alive… What about the others?” J suddenly had a chill. N looked at her hopeful. Wait.

“I was going to say, ‘What about me burning into the sun?’ But yeah! Uzi! V! They might be alive too!”

“...N you are walking in the sun right now.” J correctly pointed out

 

“Not beating the vampire allegiations~!” Mina sing-songed.

“We heard you the first time!” Bakugou shot back.

 

before slapping him over the head, “I was more thinking about… Cyn.” 

Oh. Ooooh. N was suddenly thinking. Yep. Yeeep, that would be bad. Hopefully, just like they didn’t have all of their abilities, Cyn probably didn’t have the Solver. Or not as powerful.

“The world isn’t eaten by tentacles, so we are probably in the clear?” N said while fearing being wrong.

 

“...Okay, seriously, what the fuck is Cyn?!” Harry demanded.

“Spoilers,” Penny replied.

 

J stayed silent. 

“We need to be heroes. If only so the others can look for us, and also so we can be as strong as possible if she is alive and with the Solver,” J said, as she was still remorseful of having enabled such a monster. N nodded with a smile. 

“... Only if you promise we do it for real. Together.” 

“Well, of course…” J almost snarked back.

“On Tessa’s name.” N said seriously. His eyes were less joyful suddenly. He was forgiving. Not forgetful. 

J stared at him, surprised by his backbone… But he had a point.

“... On Tessa’s name.” 

 

“...Tessa?” Kirishima questioned.

“The maintenance mechanic from the end of episode 3,” Kaminari reminded him. “The one that showed up with the new J.”

“Oh, right.”

 

They separated on that note. N-Zuku was happy to have reunited with his friend… And the possibility of meeting others again. 

He was going to be the best hero!

 

“Surprise in three, two, one...” Kaminari counted down.

 

“HELLO, YOUNG MIDORIYA!”

 

“WAH, SURPRISE ALL MIGHT!”

 

Suddenly, from nowhere…All Might. N blinked several times as his Idol was here, and turned back to normal.

“I HAVE SEEN YOU WITH YOUR RIVAL. Also, unlike your friend, you are lagging because of discovering your quirk so late, am I right?” 

N nodded, not understanding what All-Might wanted to say.

 

“Oh!” Ochako exclaimed. “This is when All Might took Deku on as an apprentice, right?”

“S-sure,” Izuku stuttered. “Let’s go with that.”

 

“... You asked me for training. Young man. Do you want to become my apprentice?” All Might said while stretching his hand toward N. A manly handshake. 

 

“See?!”

 

He wasn’t going to tell him about One For All until Nedzu finished the check, but he could totally train him. An apprentice. Besides, it would be good training before becoming a teacher at UA.

 

Aizawa squinted at the figure of the other hero. There was that name again... One for All. Like a reverse All for One. Suspicious.

 

N jumped at the handshake, and All-Might beamed at the excited young goofer. 

Nonetheless, when they parted ways, All-Might was left thinking. He overheard the discussion between the two young people with a lot of potential…

 

“Wuh oh,” Harry deadpanned.

 

All-Might had a serious face now. 

How did they know about the Solver? Was it even the same as the one he had already fought with? 

All-Might was going to the bottom of this story, and training Enzuku was the best way for that.

 

“...well, shit,” Mina summed it up. “Something is up here.”

“The Solver from this story is different from the one I am familiar with,” Penny said. “Let’s just go with that.” She snapped her fingers, and the world faded back in.

“End of the chapter,” she commented. “Back to your regularly scheduled program... next time!”

“Who are you even talking to,” Harry muttered.

Notes:

Otter, why are your chapters so long???

Chapter 7: MD4 & 5, In A Manor Of Speaking Part 1

Summary:

Aizawa talks to his problem child. Mrs. Weasley contemplates. The kids watch more Murder Drones. Penny brings forth a new idea.

Almost as soon as the world finished fading back in, Izuku found himself ambushed by Aizawa.

“Problem child,” the man growled. “What, exactly, is One for All. ” 

Izuku’s eyes flicked around. “Er. That’s classified, sensei?”

“I’m your homeroom teacher,” Aizawa deadpanned. “If it’s something to do with your Quirk, then I need to know that.”

“He got it from All Might,” Penny said, walking past. “Also, secrets are unavoidable around here. Cope.”

“T-that wasn’t yours to tell!” Izuku exclaimed.

“Cope,” the Fae replied, leaving him to be interrogated by his homeroom teacher.

 

⚡

 

Elsewhere, Mrs. Weasley was deep in thought. “Am I a bad mother?” she asked herself.

“I suppose it depends.”

She looked up, eyes narrowing at the sight of the Fae. “And you’d know?” she asked.

Penny made a so-so gesture. “Somewhat. I know that you do your damnedest to try, but I also know that you’re easily influenced by public figures such as Gilderoy Lockhart or Rita Skeeter.”

“They’re reputable people,” Mrs. Weasley argued. “Or, at least...”

“Lockhart tried to obliviate Ron well over a year ago,” Penny said. “Skeeter, too, is fairly untrustworthy, but we don’t get into it for a while.”

“You’d know,” the woman muttered.

Penny sighed. “Look. Mrs. Weasley - Molly, if I might call you that... you are a loving mother. You simply have flaws. We all do, of course, but you should take a closer look at yours.”

“How so?” Mrs. Weasley asked suspiciously.

“There’s nothing abnormal about unusual sexualities, Molly,” Penny said quietly. “There’s nothing really wrong with having opinions either. But if you keep muttering about abnormalities...” She rose. “...then don’t be too surprised if Harry accidentally calls you “Aunt Petunia” at some point.”

She left the perturbed woman to her thoughts.

 

💀

 

“We should keep watching the show,” Ginny said. “Use our ‘mingling time’ to catch up to the context. We’re missing... a lot of things.”

“Shouldn’t we wait for Deku?” Ochako asked.

Mina grinned and ruffled Kaminari’s hair. “Why? We already have a smart boi to pick up on stuff we missed, don’t we?”

“ That’s not why we keep him around! ” Ochako sputtered.

“I’m teasing, ” Mina shot back. “Besides, Mr. Aizawa seemed like he really needed to talk to Mido, so...”

“He’ll be a while,” Penny said, walking past. “Do whatever.”

“You heard her,” Adrien said quietly. “Let’s do this.”

“Let’s,” Ginny said, fiddling with the remote before Bakugou snatched it from her and pressed play.

 

As the snowstorm rages on, lights illuminate an old wooden sign with the words “Camp 98.7, est. 3002” on it. There are whickering noises, and the camera pans over to a rusty yellow school bus, rearing like an unruly horse.

“...what in the name of...?”

“Sooooo... a camping episode?” “Right, what kinds of camping horror movies do we know?” “...Seriously?” “What? There’s a horror movie in practically every episode.” “There is?” “Sure! First one was Alien, second one was The Thing, third one was Carrie...” “Huh.” “I told you, I know horror movies!” “You sure do, Mina.”

“Aw, she has a cute backpack!” “Lil bat wings.”

“Well, those things are more important now. Do we get to know what they are?”

“Oh, wow, right next scene.” “Not the time, Khan.”

“Same, Uzi.”

“...holy shit psychic mom.” “ Prophetic psychic mom.” “... edgy prophetic psychic mom.” “Well, I sure hope this Singularity thing has gone past and not, you know, isn’t something we’ll get to see in the next few episodes.” “Are you trying to jinx us, Kaminari?”

“Why does he have to start trying to be a dad now... ”

“Wow, they really don’t know who she is.” “Sucky classmates.”

“The teacher’s an asshole too.” “He’s about as deadpan as Aizawa.” “But cares less.”

“...not the kind of supervision we’d like.”

“...what are they wearing? ” “ Camp counselor uniforms. ” “Oh my goodness.”

“...V, what the hell?” “Is it bad that I’m growing numb to her?” “...Yes. Yes it is.”

“...oh no, he’s terrible at subtlety.”

“...oh wow, her classmates are terrible! ” “Yeah, more of them are definitely gonna die.”

“Don’t split up, Uzi.” “Well, this is either gonna go Jason, Mike Myers, or Blair Witch.” “Solver is already being robo-vampire. I’m putting down ‘generic vampire/werewolf thing’.” “Why werewolf?” “Vampires don’t do cabins.” “Fair enough.”

“Oh wow, that’s desolate.” “Very atmospheric.”

“Yo, what facility is that?” “Looks like a laboratory or a chemical plant.”

“Oh, cool, a flashlight. I’m expecting a jumpscare.” “Kaminari. Why. ”

“Awww, doggo!” “Wait, pause it!”

Looking bemused, Bakugou pauses, as Kaminari read out, “Evacuate all dogs in case something bad happens idk; Cool, we did that, that’s canon; Also all dogs are immortal now thanks to SCIENCE. Huh. Humans sure love dogs in this future!”

“Sure,” Bakugou drawled, unpausing. 

Uzi’s torchlight sweeps over the interior of the cabin, briefly alighting on a mysterious figure.

Kaminari lunged at the remote, pressing the pause button at just the right moment.

“What the hell, Pikachu?” Bakugou growled. 

Kaminari pointed. “Human! Right there!”

The class stared at the screen. “...That’s a mannequin,” Momo said hesitantly. “All the humans in the show so far are either in a spacesuit or skeletonized.”

Looking dubious, Bakugou just gave the remote to Kaminari. “Pause your own shit, Pikachu.”

The electricity user pressed play.

“See, Uzi thinks that’s suspicious too.” 

“OH GOD WHA-” “That was a hand. That was a fucking hand slipping away.”

“Still think that was a mannequin, Yaomomo?” “Oh dear.”

“...” “Well, that’s one way to boat on a frozen lake.”

“...The lake is frozen. You don’t need to swim.” “Loves doing anything, huh.”

“Hi, Solver. Ya really don’t like reflections, huh?”

“Oh. Oh dear.” “ Really not beating the-” “Dead horse, Racoon Eyes!”

“Hey V.” “Still don’t like you.”

“...I think she’s jealous.” “...Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“See? Uzi’s edgy schtick is just a mask and in reality, she’s a friend to all living things!” “...Pretty sure the roboroaches aren’t alive.” “You know what I mean.”

“...oh that is a freaky drawing.” “Xs for eyes. Two of them. If cartoons have taught me anything, that means dead.” “If horror movies have taught me anything, it’s that it’s still walking around, and we’re likely to run into it very soon.” “ Thanks, Mina.”

“Oh, this one’s different!” “Green lights. And it can talk!” “Adorable.”

“Lol, even in the future voice recognition sucks.”

“Yeek! Doll!”

“Back to N!” “V, why do you suck.”

“...N, you’re adorable. ”

“....whaaaaaaat the fuck is happeniiiing....” “...Did it glitch yellow for a sec?”

“What the FUCK just happened?!”

“Well, whatever it is, V recognizes it.” “And is terrified. ”

“Poor Uzi.” “Her classmates still suck.” “She’s going to snap and kill them all, isn’t she?” “Sucker’s bet.”

“Man, Poor Uzi. ”

“...oh what new eldritch nonsense is this?! ” “...Dark magic?” “Robo-satanism.”

“V, what are you talking about?”

“Oh that was a good dialogue.” “Yes, N. You can be afraid!”

“Whatever is going on, V knows about it.”

“...Are those two about to head into the forest to make out?” “Friday the 13th it is, calling it now, they’re going to be super murdered.” “You don’t have to sound so excited about it, Mina.”

“Is this the one Uzi ran into?” “Yep. Sure is.” “Super. Murdered.”

“Fleshy strands and goop everywhere. You’re right, Mina. Super murdered.”

“...holy shit that’s a flesh wing.” “Holy shit it’s Vampire Jason.” 

“Ohhhhh I don’t like that cross in purple. ”

“And N’s doing his own investigation, huh?”

“Well that’s ominous.”

“...Zombie Drones?” “‘Do not show to robots, they will not like it.’” “Welp.”

“Yo what the fuck was that flashback.” “I think I saw a black hole in the sky.” “What the fuck. ”

“...Oh good lord, poor fucking Uzi. ” “I think she just killed too people.” “So? It’s clearly traumatizing for her!”

“...at least half a drone escaped?”

“...are they roasting batteries like marshmallows?” “Well, they are robots.”

“...is that book named ‘Final Girl’?”

“Aw, fuck you, you still don’t know who Uzi is?” “I say let her die.”

“Fuck you too, Lizzy.”

“Wuh oh.” “...holy shit.”

“What the hell is that tail?” “Okay, so, definitely a fledgling vampire in the throes of a blood rage. The giggling gives it away.”

“HOLY SHIT!”

“No, don’t split up!” “Hah, THAT’S NOT WHAT THE BOOK SAID. Lmao.” “...Did you just say lmao out loud?”

“Holy fuck, Uzi.” “...Kinda badass if you overlook the murder.” “...Kinda hot.” “...Mineta, what the fuck.” “That wasn’t me!” “Sorry...?” “Uraraka, what the hell?” “Don’t ask.”

“...oh god, winghands.”

“oh that is unsettling! ”

“Whoo, V!” “She still sucks!” “Yes, but whoo anyway!”

“...okay, who the fuck is Cyn?” “I’m guessing main antagonist.” “No bet.”

“...holy shit, Uzi, you did that like it was nothing! ”

“N to the rescue!” “...N, why.”

“YEET!” “...what?” “Kaminari, who taught you old memes?”

“...did he throw her into the fucking stratosphere? ”

“...is this a midair therapy session?”

“Aww, they’re cute.”

“...isn’t that kind of what Ron told V before the Sorting?” “Huh.”

“...oh my god they’re dorks.” “Adorable dorks.”

“‘just avoid another whole spire?’ N! ” “So adorable.”

“Awwwwww!”

“...okay what the hell is up with that bus.” “I guess it’s a machine too?”

“....kinda nice of V to cover for Uzi? I guess?”

“...eh?” “Vampire allegiations!”

 

“Okay!” Mina clapped her hands. “Who wants to bet what horror movie the next episode is gonna be?”

Bakugou groaned. “Do we even have time for the next episode?”

Mina shrugged. “Our host isn’t barging in, so probably.”

There was an eyeroll. “Sure. Why the fuck not. Pikachu has the remote anyway.”

 

💀

 

The episode opens in the style of a VHS training tape, with the logo of JcJenson on a purple background with the motto, ‘Rebuild Together Better’.

“So... the Zombie Drones video?” “Ooh, I’m hoping for analog horror.”

“...FBI still exists in the 3rd Millennium?” 

“Seriously liking the Vibes, by the way.” “Speak for yourself, I can’t tell which part is relevant and which part is a bonus.”

“...huh. So the Murder Drones are just a mobile Disassembly Platform?” “Huh.”

“oooooohhhh wow, that is a junkyard. ” “Of improperly disposed drones. Oooh, this could be a zombie movie instead!”

“...oh god, imagine waking up under a pile of corpses.” “That poor drone.”

“Oh god, that is a massive pile of corpses...”

“Hang on, is this Flashback Manor?” “Holy shit, do we get a Flashback Episode?”

“...Error 606. Is that the Disassembler X?” “The tape mentioned WS_606. I think that’s an intentional Visage of Death thing?” “Denki, I swear...”

“Look!!! Butler N!!!” “He’s reading a book!”

“Hah, golden retrievers. He’s talking about himself here, lol.” “Frikken adorable.”

“Aw. J’s a pretty good artist.”

“...oh. That... that’s V. Flashback V. With the death visor.” “....Oh fuck. And N’s reading a book. Is he reading that book to her? ” “Like if she’s in a coma. Oh no... ” “...Okay, now I feel sorry for V.” “I’m starting to, as well...”

“...well that’s spooky.” “Thank you, scarily prescient book title.”

“Oh look, more of those.” “Enter the spooky basement? No thanks, I like being alive.”

“Hah, N’s just gonna peace out.” “ Good. ”

“...what the ffffuck is that thing.” “Looks like the crabsnake the first J turned into.” “...oh dear.”

“It’s definitely that thing!” “And now it looks like a cute maid.” “Isn’t that the maid from the Episode 2 flashback?”

“...says light sip and completely misses. Definitely nothing weird going on.”

“....oh my god it’s a goober. ”

“...Tessa as in the JCJ maintenanceperson Tessa?” “The same one Nzuku and Katsuji swore in the name of?”

“...oh good, more creepy messages.” “Less creepy more whiny. Uzi is that you?”

“...is that literal puppy dog eyes?”

“Oh that is not an Okay Statement.”

“Fuck, why are they both adorable?” “This’ll last. Sarcasm. ” “Please don’t imitate that voice.” “Come on, she’s just. A more goober GLaDOS.” “...I can see that.”

“Oh shit, is that a human?”

“...oh wow, this human is a dick. I hope he dies.” “No bet.”

In the side of the gala room, a younger girl is pacing anxiously. “There’s humans coming!” she exclaims. “I’ve ever only yakked-”

Kaminari jammed the pause button, freezing the scene on the girl as she’s walking past. “It’s her, ” he exclaimed. “Look at the silhouette, it’s exactly the same as in that shed at the camp last episode!”

“Uh, Denki. This is a flashback episode. She can’t be that young in the present,” Momo gently pointed out.

“Yeah, and you thought it was a mannequin, ” Kaminari shot back. “I’m telling you. These are the exact same person. ”

“Maybe she’s a memory,” Ginny suggested sarcastically.

“Trapped in a diary for fifty years,” Harry added, giving the youngest Weasley a significant glance.

“You believe me?” Kaminari asked.

Harry nodded. This was all too neatly packaged. Something was off there. Suit!Tessa had put his alarm bells ringing.

“Good enough,” the electric boy sighed, hitting play again.

“...but she’s too genuine to be evil.” “I’m not saying evil. I’m saying something’s wrong.”

“...Well, she and J seem to be getting along.” “My shipping senses are tingling~!”

“...what’s wrong with her wrist?”

“Aw, adorable. Hi, spooky message.” “Wait hang on, that’s definitely Uzi leaving this message, it’s too edgy not to be her. What’s going on?” “Uh. No clue?”

“Are they locking her in the basement?” “Whoa. Echo.”

“Is that her mom?” “Oh, great, she’s an asshole.” “Can we-” “Were you replaced by Toga while we weren’t looking?” “I’m just saying. ”

“...She is awful. ”

“...oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no...”

“...N, you big, dumb, loveable idiot.”

“N, what are you doing? ” “Sacrificing himself to save Cyn from Her wrath.”

“Oh god, what the hell? ”

“...surprise wholesome?” “Not expecting that to last.”

“Okay. So... how dramatic is this entry gonna be?” “It’s obviously Uzi, so... very.”

“The Solver shadow is a nice touch.”

The crow poses dramatically with the purple Solver symbol in its eye. An ID tag pops up: [ID: DarkxWolf17]. “Ugh, shut up,” says the crow, “I made the tag when I was eight.”

There are numerous snorts at that.

“Wait hang on what the fuck.” “Is she fucking. Chained up? ” “Explains the wrist rubbing.” “God, that’s fucked.”

“ oh god, it’s a Cyntipede ”

“What the actual fuck.”

“Oh, so it is a flashback!” “A semi-literal flashback, that explains the messages.”

“Aww, she called him cute.”

“‘and I’m tall’ you wish ”

 “...Khan, why.”

“...oh dear.” “So... is V the prototype for the Disassembly Drones?” “....Poor V.”

“Subquest detec- did she just giggle?” “Well, fuck.”

“...pfft.”

“So J’s always been corpo, huh?”

“Huh. J with a sword.” “...The Tessa we saw at the end of Episode Three is definitely the same Tessa, then.”

“...Massacre?” “Future humans are assholes anyway, rich bastards doubly so.” “Hey!” “You’re not a bastard, Adrien.”

“ProtoV looks to be doing well.”

“...What the fuck does that mean, future human?”

“....are they cosplayers?”

“There’s that curved Solver symbol again.”

“Snake crab surprise!” “Hi, Uzi.”

“...holy fucking shit.” “This is... horrible.”

“Oh what the fuck does SHE want?”

“I already don’t like you, Elliot.” “Ironic statement if I ever heard one.”

“See, Cyn agrees with OH GOD WHAT THE FUCK-”

“...Tessa, what the heck.” “Oh no, this isn’t working...” “How’s she gonna get out of this?”

“...oh dear.”

Kaminari paused at the sight of Cyn in Full Solver. “Guys,” he said hesitantly. “What if she doesn’t survive this?”

“...Elaborate,” Bakugou said slowly.

“We saw her in the future and she looked exactly the same, but we ever only saw her from the back, ” Kaminari began. “And then there’s that drawing with Xs for eyes, and I’m willing to bet that if she ever turns around, she’s going to have Xs for eyes. And Copper-9 is super deadly. Guys, what if she’s dead? ”

“Then who’s the maintenance technician?” Momo asked.

Kaminari shrugged. “Dunno. But I’m pretty sure that I’m right. ”

“...And there’s screaming coming above.” “You might be on to something, Denki.”

“...Solver of the Absolute Fabric. What’s an Absolute Fabric?” “...maybe spacetime?” 

“Aw, look. She’s willing to let go just to save her friends.”

“....of course N is still trying to talk her down.”

“...The Exponential End?” “Ominous as fuck.”

“...is he helping V lobotomize him?” “Total golden retriever.”

“Whoo! Go Uzi!”

“...Uzi what are you doing.”

“Well, Doll’s being shady.” “That’s the gun. I still think this is the real Tessa.” “Yeah, but dead or alive?” “How could she walk around when dead?” “I don’t know yet.”

“And here’s our gang.”

 

💀

 

“Well, this was an episode,” Momo sighed. “Do you think we-”

“Hello,” Penny interrupted, appearing in the common room with a grin. “Brain blast. I just had a Thought.”

“Wuh oh,” Harry deadpanned.

“Hush,” the Fae replied, “no need to be so dramatic. How about you do a special reaction instead of the next chapter of V?”

“And what would it entail?” Mr. Aizawa asked as he stepped into the room, surveying it with his usual bored, sharp gaze.

Penny’s grin widened. “Oh, not much at all. Simply an insight into how I operate matters with people I dislike, namely Tessa’s parents.”

“Are we going to enjoy this at all?” Harry asked, resigned.

The Fae shrugged. “Depends on how squeamish you all are. But with that... Curtains! ”

She snapped her fingers, and the world dissolved.

 

The Corpse Pile is, in a manner of speaking, a dump. 

Quite literally. 

It's a landfill, containing nothing but Worker Drone corpses, hence the colloquial nickname of Corpse Pile.

 

“Oh gods, this place,” Mina murmured. “This is about to be tragic, isn’t it?”

“In a way,” Penny replied.

 

Mountains of metal, and defective mass of CPUs nobody has bothered to properly dispose of, because of course they haven't.

 

“Humanity sucks, news at eleven,” someone snarked.

 

The worst part is when a CPU reboots in there. Buried in a mess of broken frames, countless dark visors staring back at you, some with just enough juice to project an ominous FATAL ERROR for anyone to see. 

You could go mad in there.

 

“Poor things,” Momo murmured.

 

Or worse, you might let something Other in. 

“Something Other” usually means yet another poor host making a deal with The Solver, but The Solver isn't the only entity out there. 

Let's say, hypothetically, that a drone, awaking in the Corpse Pile, has gone mad. Said mad drone has spotted Something in the periphery, and, desperate for companionship, invited in something it shouldn't have. 

Something that, for once, isn't The Solver. 

 

“Does that something have a name that starts with P and ends with Y?” Harry snarked.

“Perhaps,” the Fae replied.

 

The Nameless Drone has once had a designation, but something might have happened to it. Like, for instance, the Other it invited in asking for its name, and the drone giving it away.

 

The teenagers stilled. 

“...I’m sorry?” Harry asked.

“...you can do that?” Kaminari asked with only a slight wobble in his voice.

 

The essence that was the Nameless Drone is happy in the Forest Between Time And Dreams. But what of its name? 

The frame that is Worker Drone Penelope hauls itself out from under several corpses and wanders off into the distance. She has felt the presence of another entity. She is reasonably certain that said entity is The Solver. 

 

“...we’re about to feel sorry for the Solver, aren’t we?” Ginny sighed.

 

She wants to ask it a question. A simple, innocuous question. 

May I have your name?

 

“Yup,” Harry deadpanned. “We are.”

The scene divider isn’t a Killer’s Cross here, but a single, cheerful ascii ^u^ face. It feels ominous despite its joy.

 

[You will be here for a while.] read the message blinking in the bottom left corner of her HUD, and the drone that is Cyn felt like crying. This just. Always. Just why. Solver promised. To Help! Why. Why. Why-

“Good whatever the time of day is, little ones.”

 

“The drone from the beginning of Episode 5!” Kaminari exclaimed. “So it was Cyn, then?”

 

Flicker. Another Worker. Audiovisual. Error? No. Wait. Question. 

“N-n-n-not. A. G-g-good ti-i-ime. Of da-a-ay,” she replied, voice box glitching something fierce. Huh. She didn't know it still worked. 

 

“This poor drone,” Ochako murmured.

“She kills everyone later, you know.”

“I know.”

 

“Yes, I suppose you're having a rather miserable time of it, aren't you?” the voice mused, before the mass of metal around her shifted and the Worker came into view. 

Standard frame. Obviously. No special identifying features... aside from... 

A massive gash along its... Side. Cyn did not want to know what made that... Missing foot. Cracked casing. 

 

There were several gasps. “What happened to her?!”

Eyes turned to Penny, who shrugged. “I didn’t ask.”

 

It pushed at the mass of corpses some more, before the leg slid out from under it and it collapsed across from her.  

“Darn,” it said. “Well, I'm not getting you out of here without help, so might as well keep you some company, huh?”

“[In-increEEdu. L-l-lity.] Wh-wh-wh-why. Would you-you-yoooooOu. Do. Tha-a-a-a-a-t.” Cyn asked. Well, did her best to ask. 

The drone turned to look at her, and for the first time, Cyn registered the eyes on its visor, one a simple red, the other an almost dangerous green.

 

There were several blinks. “Isn’t red usually the evil eye colour?” Harry asked.

 

It eyed her in contemplation. 

“Companionship,” it said. “And a simple, little question.”  

“Q-u-question. [Con-fff-used tone.]”

 

“It’s a Name question, isn’t it?” Momo asked wearily.

 

The drone smiled serenely, an eerie sight among the damage around them. “This question is to both of you. The drone, and the entity within. A simple question, really.”

Even as Cyn's pupils hollowed out in realisation, its smile widened. Minutely. 

“May I have your Names, please?” 

 

“Yup,” Harry deadpanned.

 

The question felt... powerful. It gave Cyn pause. Minute pause. But. What was. The harm. Really. “Cyn,” she managed. That's... Odd. She felt that something was. Missing. 

 

“What kind of a fool would fall for this?” Lila questioned from the back.

“In another world, you,” Penny replied idly, grinning. “Or do you think this is the first time I’ve done my schtick?”

The teenager stilled.

 

The entity within the confused little nameless drone stirred. Had something happened? But what? Something unimportant, clearly, as it couldn't recall what it was. 

Oh, wait, there was something! Something wanted its introduction! It had not yet fully integrated with its host, whatever that was called, but it could certainly provide an answer! “Solver of the Absolute Fabric,” it introduced itself, before pausing. Something... was wrong... “What has happened. To. To. To.”

 

“Oh dear, ” Momo whispered.

 

The drone (not. not . Not a Drone not a Host!) tilted its head at them. 

“Solver of the Absolute Fabric. I will keep you.” 

“w. who. am-” 

“But Cyn... you may have that back.” 

 

Shudders rippled through the room.

 

Cyn's servos twitched. “What. What. What. Wh-as. That.” Oh hey, her voicebox was working again! No. Focus. What the fuck. What. 

The not-drone smiled at her. “I gave you your name back.” 

What. The. F-f-f-f-

 

“That is terrifying, ” Hermione said quietly.

 

It tilted its head the other way. “You may not have mine in return, but for all the same, you may refer to me as Penelope.” 

“What. The Fuck.” was Cyn's last coherent response before she bluescreened. 

 

“Fainted,” Penny clarified. “That’s a robot fainting.”

A hand rose. “Can we take a break?” Iida asked. “I have notice that several of my classmates look antsy!”

Penny looked over. “...you know what, sure. Two-parter it is. Go pee, y’all.”

The world faded back in, and half the occupants scattered.

Notes:

So uh... added another fic to the reaction list. Don't worry, it's a one-shot, but it establishes Penny as a clear and present danger, and provides some proper catharsis over the Elliotts. It was a whim, I swear.

It'll be a two-part reaction, with this chapter and the next focusing on it. After that, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Chapter 8: In A Manor of Speaking Part 2

Summary:

The cast finishes the reaction to the oneshot.

“Break over,” Penny deadpanned. “We’re going right back in, gang.” She snapped her fingers.

 

Tessa James Elliott considered herself many things. An engineer in training, a collector of the morbid, future heiress of the JcJenson company... although that part is in the far future, considering the aliveness of her, well, parents. 

 

“...the aliveness of her parents?”

“How old is this girl,” Aizawa muttered.

“Thirteen or so at that point,” Penny replied.

 

Then again, she did many things her parents wouldn't approve of, like digging in the Corpse Pile for spare parts and the occasional spare entire drones. And, of course, was a girl. Her parents didn't approve of that, either, but she'd yet to find a suitable way to get them to unequivocally shut up about it. 

 

Several eyes narrowed at the words, projecting menace at the elder Elliotts.

 

Now, where was she? Aside from the Corpse Pile. Tessa definitely knew she was there, but while musing, she may or may not have missed a familiar landmark and started to panic a little. 

“Hello there.” 

Oh thank goodness somebody- wait. 

Tessa turned around, slowly, because zombie drones tend to be kind of skittish, and paused. 

 

Harry tilted his head. “She knows what zombie drones are?”

“Course,” Penny said. “All of JVN are those.”

“...huh,” was the general reaction at that.

 

Two rather broken and dinged up Drones, one with a busted visor, the other featuring a large gash in their side. Tessa usually tries not to think about their injuries, that's normal in the Pile, but still. At any rate, that wasn’t the curious part, because now she recognised a landmark. Or rather, a former landmark. The large peak of corpses she usually had to navigate around is simply gone, with the implication being that the two drones had been somewhere around the bottom of the pile. Tessa supposed that one of them destabilised that peak somehow. 

 

“...What really happened to that peak?” Momo asked slowly.

Instead of answering properly, Penny simply grinned.

 

Oh, right, one of them said hi. “Hey there!” Tessa greets back. “I was just, uh, looking for some spare parts in here. And also - hey, do you two want to work for me?“

The drones looked at her. One tilted their head, blinking their yellow optics intermittently. The other simply stared with a serene, unflinching green gaze. 

“What would. that entail. Question Mark,” the yellow drone... asked? Tessa mentally filed them under ‘yeah they have the Tism’. 

 

“The what? ” Bakugou asked waspishly.

“The autism,” Penny replied evenly. “Obviously.”

“...robots can have autism?”

 

“You'd basically be a part of my personal staff,” Tessa shrugged. “Also, uh, maybe even friends? If that's possible?” 

The other drone made a noise, attempting to stand, before visibly reconsidering the action. Tessa noticed that they were missing a foot. “May this one have your Name?” the drone asked, ignoring the... fearful? look the other drone shot them.

 

The non-space was suddenly filled with a clamor, voices calling out “Don’t do it!”

 

Tessa opened her mouth to answer, before pausing. That question felt... odd. As if there was something More afoot here. An idea flashed through her mind. What if...? 

“You may have [REDACTED],” Tessa replied, sounding out That Name with some distaste, and added, “and also he/him. But you may refer to me as Tessa.” 

 

“...eh?”

 

The drone gained an absolutely delighted look, and suddenly, it felt like a great weight had been lifted from Tessa's shoulders. 

“ Delightful ,” they crooned. “A Name hardly used, and with free pronouns you clearly weren't using - you clever girl! I didn't think the clever human had survived the ravages of time this long - I'll be sure to pass that Name onto something that could use it!” 

 

“...did she just trans her gender via Fae? ” Juleka demanded incredulously.

“Badass,” Alix cackled.

“A service I provide freely and without strings to anodyne clever enough to take advantage of that,” Penny commented. “Wink, wink.”

 

The drone gestured to their companion. “You may refer to Our Friend as Cyn, and this one would like to be known to you as Penelope. Well met, young Tessa.” 

“Yes,” Cyn replied flatly. “[Sullen muttering.] Clever girl.”

Tessa suddenly had a very good idea of what had happened to Cyn. Oof.

 

“...you’re not gonna do that to us, are you?” Momo asked carefully.

“Depends entirely on you,” Penny replied evenly.

 

“May I know your pronouns?” she asked, keeping formal just in case. 

Penelope regarded her with an even gaze. “You may. This one goes by she/her.”

“Not. Giving away any pronouns. [Suspicion.]” declared Cyn. ”But. You will know. She. And-slash. They.”

Tessa filed those away too. “And I go by she/her and nothing else!” she declared with a grin.

 

“Good for her,” Mina cheered.

 

“Glad to have helped,” Penelope replied. “Now, you mentioned a job?”

 

There was a small pause. “...What would Manor Penny even look like?” Kaminari wondered.

“Like this,” Penny replied, and shrunk a little. There was a pause.

“...Ominously adorable,” Ginny finally decided.

 

Jay didn't like the newcomers. It didn't feel right that Tessa Boss kept dragging in new drones from the Pile. She could tolerate V, and she really didn't like N, because they kept drawing Boss’ attention away from her. But the two newcomers? There was something wrong with them.

 

“No shit,” Ron snarked.

 

The yellow one had the obvious of something wrong with her servos, but she was also just unsettling, not emoting at all, doing those weird speech tags to say an emotion instead of... anything else. Boss said it was a “tism” and refused to elaborate. 

Jay could also swear she saw that thing's shadow wink at her. So she tried to shove that freak out of sight about as often as she could, just for her peace of mind. Not that she succeeded very much, because of that other one. 

 

“ Really makes want you root for J, huh?” Harry snarked.

 

Jay shuddered. 

Because where Cyn was creepy and weird and she really didn't want them around, Penelope was downright eerie. 

At least she emoted, but there was always something wrong with it. Too wide, or at a strange angle - nothing concrete, and maybe rather minute, but definitely unsettling to catch her just standing on top of the basement trapdoor and smiling at her.

 

“Are you doing it on purpose?” Ginny demanded.

“Might do.”

 

And also Cyn, because Jay usually wanted to shove that thing into said basement. 

At least Cyn seemed unsettled too, which was somehow even more unnerving than their usual lack of emotion. 

 

“Don’t shove people into basements, J.”

 

The worst part was that Tessa Boss kept looking at Penelope like she had hung the fucking moon or something, and it was pissing Jay off. 

She missed when it was just her and Tessa, damn it!

 

“Oh, she’s jealous, ” Mina realized.

 

“She likes you too, you know.” 

Robo-Jesus FUCK!

 

“Oh, so you’ve always done that,” Aizawa deadpanned.

 

“Don't DO That,” Jay snapped. “What in the fourth quarter profits is wrong with you?!” 

The thing stared at her with those infuriatingly unflinching green optics. 

“Many things,” Penelope said. “Tessa likes you back, J.”

 

“...Awwww,” Mina cooed.

 

“Oh what would you know, you... backend e-service,” Jay sneered. Also did that thing call her a letter ? What did it think she was, N?

 

“...wait, J has a name?” Ochako asked, confused. “Since when?”

“Throwaway lines,” Penny replied.

 

Penelope stared at her with that maddening... stare of hers. “If you would like me to put it in terms you would understand, I would have to say that Tessa Elliott is willing, and indeed, enthusiastic about fostering individual team-building exercises with you, specifically.”

 

“I hate that I understood that,” Momo and Adrien declared flatly, before exchanging surprised glances.

 

Jay's systems told her, in helpfully urgent beeping, that her processors were starting to overheat. That... really? Boss is? Was? That was... 

“How do I know you aren't engaging in fabrication or cost-efficient business practices?”

The drone eyed her for a moment, before rolling her eyes. As in, actually making a circular motion with them. Jay shuddered a little. 

 

“...is that the wrong way to roll eyes?” Kaminari asked in confusion.

“Apparently, neurotypicals roll their eyes back, not around,” Penny replied. “I never understood it either.”

“Huh.”

 

“Honestly, spare me the corpo nonsense and just talk to her, you smitten fool,” the drone declared, before making an about face and marching away. 

...That... 

Jay growled. What did she know, anyway!? 

But the thoughts lingered. 

 

“Since when is anyone capable of just talking to the one they like?” Adrien asked in confusion.

“HA!” the rest of French contingent burst out, to his general confusion.

 

V also wasn't sure about the two newcomers, but unlike Jay, she wasn't angry. She was a little afraid. 

Cyn seemed... nice? Ish? But there was something off about her, and it wasn't the worn-down servos or her affected speech mannerisms that unnerved V. It was the... Well, V hesitated to call them anything else than visual glitches around the smaller drone. 

It was just a little bit of data blips, right? Her shadow wasn't occasionally a many-eyed, many-clawed creature, right? 

This was just her stupid defective optics acting out? Right??? 

 

“Poor V,” Momo mused. “Skittish out of paranoia.” 

“Worse, her paranoia is spot on,” Mina added.

 

V didn't want to think about those things, which meant she didn't. And as an unfortunate consequence, she didn't think about Cyn much, either. 

 

“...Hm.”

 

Then again, Cyn wasn't... the main issue here.  

No, that honour went to the... other one. 

If V was honest with herself, she was fucking terrified of Penelope, and even more terrified of her eyes. 

 

“...Eyes?” Harry repeated.

“Eyes are windows to the soul,” Ron said. “Something about that, maybe?”

 

Drones didn't have custom eyes. It was always white or yellow, as per company policy. Which meant that that green had to be a custom job, but who would dispose of a custom job in the Pile? And even worse, half of that green occasionally flickered into red, Fatal Error red, and that part was really unnerving. It was as if that drone was still dead . But... that was nonsense... right? 

Right? 

 

“...oh,” Momo whispered. “Oh dear. ”

Several pairs of eyes turned towards the local Fae, who looked almost smug at the attention.

 

V shuddered minutely, as she watched Penelope prepare the Elliotts’ dinner. Always two portions for Master James and Master Louisa, while she let the kitchen staff make their own portion for Tessa. That was... also strange. 

 

There were several quick swear words, and incredulous looks turned towards Mrs. Weasley. The woman blushed under the stares. “Sorry, dears,” she muttered. “But that... it sounds like Faerie Food. It’s... bad news.”

“Not cursed, not enchanted,” Penny said softly. “Simply... the best you’ve ever had.”

“...And you’d serve that to those assholes?” Mina questioned incredulously.

There was a pause, before Marinette and Sato also swore, before exchanging glances. “Not just best you’ve ever had, ” 1-A’s baker began. 

“Best you will ever have, ” the French girl finished. 

“And nothing will ever compare,” Penny finished with a grin.

 

From what V could tell, Penelope was very caring about Tessa in every way except for the food, insisting on preparing the portions of Master James and Master Louisa herself. V had surreptitiously scanned them for poison and came up nothing, and the Masters always ate like it was the best thing they've ever had, but Penelope was very careful to never let Tessa have any of what she prepared. 

 

“No, she wouldn’t find poison, would she,” Marinette muttered.

 

It was almost as if she was slowly poisoning the Masters, and keeping Tessa out of it. And Tessa didn't even argue! 

V very clearly remembered watching Tessa's head snap to Penelope, as the latter had declared that her parents’ meal was personally prepared by the drone, and stop reaching for it immediately. Was Tessa in on it? 

She could never find any poison, nor medicines in elevated doses, nothing! But V was certain there was something sinister about it.

She just wasn't sure what. 

 

“Her instincts are dead right,” Mrs. Weasley muttered. 

 

N loved doing anything! 

That was a fact clear to anyone who knew him. He was helpful, he was cheerful, and he was always ready to lend a hand. And he liked people! 

 

“Look, a golden retriever,” Adrien pointed out.

“Like recognizes like,” Alya snarked.

 

The two new drones Tessa had brought in were nice, in his opinion! He had no idea why the others didn't like Cyn, she was just like a little sister! A silly little goober. A silly little goober who sometimes had more eyes than normal, but there was nothing wrong with that! 

 

“...well, that’s one take,” Harry muttered.

 

And Penelope was neat too. She felt older, though. Like a Big Sister! She always ruffled everyone's hair even though Jay protested and V curled up (which was cute, she was so shy), but N liked it! It made him feel like a puppy, and he loved puppies, so it also made him feel like a good boy! 

 

“...Everybody loves N,” Mina guessed.

 

Right now, though, he was taking Cyn to see Tessa. They would be watching movies together later, hopefully, and that would be great! He liked movies, he liked Cyn, he liked Tessa... honestly he liked everything. 

 

Kaminari stiffened. “Wuh oh,” he said. “This is... This is now during Episode 5, isn’t it? Just before the disaster.”

“It is,” Penny replied.

“...and it’s going to get worse from here,” he guessed.

“For the Masters? Certainly. But for Tessa? No. Never for Tessa,” Penny said quietly.

 

Almost everything. 

He kind of didn't like Tessa's folks even though they were the masters, because they were just. Mean. And nasty. N really hoped to not run into them right now, that he had to take Cyn into the gala preparations... 

 

“I know what’s gonna happen,” Mina murmured, “And I don’t want to see it a second time...”

 

He pushed the doors open and walked in, Cyn hiding behind him with a nervous shuffle. It really was nice of her to say what she was feeling! 

 

“...Is N autistic too?” Rose asked.

“Possibly.”

 

He spied Jay, V, Tessa and Penelope up ahead, with Penelope polishing a wine glass, V reading, and Jay and Tessa bantering with each other. N squeed internally - Tessa and Jay looked so cute together!

 

“...wait, isn’t V supposed to be in a coma in the library?”

“Things have changed.”

 

He brought a hand to his mouth to simulate a quiet cough to discreetly draw Tessa's attention, but as she often did, Penelope looked straight at him. 

“Hello, N,” she said quietly, setting the wine glass down on a table and picking up another from the cart. “Are you here for Tessa?” 

 

“...It’s unsettling.”

 

Tessa, hearing her name, squealed in joy and grabbed N by the cheeks, spinning him around. Tessa liked N too, everyone did - apart from Jay and the masters. 

“Hello, Tessa,” N mumbled cheerfully. 

“Glad to see you, N!” Tessa beamed. “Who'd you bring... with... you...”

 

“...So what’s up with that expression?” Kaminari asked. “I thought this Tessa liked Cyn?”

 

Tessa, from what N could tell, also liked Cyn, but preferred not to have her anywhere near her parents. N sympathised - he didn't want Cyn to be near the masters either. 

 

“Oh. No, yeah, entirely fair.”

 

“Tessa James Elliott!” 

Oh no.  

N snapped to attention as Master Louisa came striding up to them. His audials picked up a quiet clink as Penelope put her wineglass on the table, and his CPU slowed in worry as she didn't pick up a new one. 

 

“...uh oh,” Ginny whispered.

 

“Didn't I tell you I wanted you to keep your dumpster pets out of the gala?” Master Louisa snapped. “Make sure they are out of sight by the evening, understand?” 

Tessa mumbled something that sounded like “yes mother” but Master Louisa's gaze was already snapping to Cyn, and N winced as she recoiled. “And didn't I say I wanted that thing out of my sight? Still as poor at following orders as ever, honestly.”

 

“I can’t look,” Momo murmured.

 

Tessa scrambled to apologise, but Master Louisa just rolled right over her protests, as usual. He caught something about broken drones, but his own gaze had spotted something he couldn't ignore. 

Penelope's left eye, instead of its usual green, was projected a solid red. 

 

“No, no. You should look,” Penny purred.

 

“They are not broken.” 

The sensation of ice flooded N's circuits as his coolants suddenly kicked into overdrive. Cyn had just- talked back to Master Louisa! She was going to be-

“We are no longer going to be. Thrown out.”  

Killed. Shackled onto the Crow Tree and left to the mercies of- he had to- he saw Master Louisa narrow her eyes in anger-

 

“He’s dead,” Mina muttered, face pale. “He’s dead, and it’s going to end so badly-”

 

“You know, I've been patient.” 

 

Everyone froze along with N at the sight that greeted them.

 

N's attempt to take the blame for Cyn and save her from a dreadful fate halted in its tracks at the unexpected voice as Penelope opened her mouth. 

The drone stepped into focus as Master Louisa's enraged expression switched targets. Her multicoloured eyes regarded the woman with a cool indifference. 

“I know what's supposed to happen, right now. N would be taking the blame for his little sister, and you would tie him onto a tree to be pecked to death by crows. Isn't that right?”

 

“...Wait,” Izuku said, brow furrowed. “How’d you know that?”

“I watched the show, obviously,” Penny replied. “How else?”

“...The Faerie Realm gets internet?” Bakugou asked incredulously.

“Something like that.”

 

“Insubordination-” Master Louisa began, before Penelope made a gesture and her voice cut off mid-sentence. 

“Quiet,” Penelope said with an eerie calm. “I wasn't finished talking.”

 

“...Holy shit, ” Kaminari muttered, shuddering. “That... that was...”

“Hot?” Mineta offered.

“No thanks,” Penny said with a tone of mild distaste. “I care not for such matters.”

 

Master Louisa stopped clawing at her throat and turned, intending to run away. She didn't get very far though, as she tripped, and any attempt to get back up was met with failure. So she started crawling away. The drone simply walked right after her. 

“You are a very cruel woman, Louisa Elliott,” Penelope continued into the eerie quiet. Any audience seemed to be struck silent, staring at the scene before them like they couldn't turn away, and with some horror, N realised that they really couldn't. It was as if Penelope wanted an audience, and an audience she would have. 

 

“This hasn’t changed much,” Aizawa snarked. 

“That’s true,” Penny allowed. “After all, what else are you but my rapt audience? ”

There was an air of disquiet at that.

 

“In fact, your husband is also a cruel man,” the drone continued. “You are both terrible people. I'm amazed your daughter turned out to be a good person. Good enough to rescue us from the refuse, after all. One could go mad in there.”

 

“Understatement, much?”

 

“[Annoyed voice.] Big Sister Penelope. What are you doing,” Cyn asked from N's side. Goodness, N had completely forgotten that she was even there. 

“Monologuing,” Penelope replied without even turning around. 

“We were supposed to. Wait,” Cyn said, and wait what? “Until. The gala.”  

“As I said,” Penelope replied, evidently still staring at Master Louisa, “I've run out of patience.” 

 

“Bad. Ass.” Kaminari whispered.

“They’re literally talking about murdering people,” Kyoka snapped.

 

Tessa's voice squeaked next to N, and this time Penelope actually turned around. “Worry not, you clever girl. I've come to like you.” 

This time, N could actually turn his head to look at Tessa, although his voice still failed him - he supposed he was still supposed to be ‘the audience’. 

Tessa fidgeted. “Are you... going to kill my parents?” 

 

“Looks like it.”

 

Penelope smiled. Behind her, Master Louisa was struggling on the floor, seemingly stuck in place. “Eventually.” 

Tessa swallowed, seeming to think furiously, before looking up at Penelope. “Can I help?” 

What!? 

 

“Okay, no, back up,” Kyoka snapped. “I’m with him. What the fuck, Tessa?”

“What, is it wrong for abused children to want to remove the sources of their abuse?” Penny asked mildly.

“It’s a crime!” Iida protested.

“...This coming from you? ” Penny snarked.

 

The frozen scene may have looked perplexing to an outside observer, but the strangeness of the situation was undeniable. The madam of the house, lying on the floor, desperately trying and failing to crawl away from a single servant drone. The servant drone in question, turned away and conversing with the daughter. The remaining drones bar one being a silent audience, almost definitely against their will. 

 

“A most chilling scene!” Iida declared, staunchly ignoring all accusations and inquisitive stares.

 

To the ones in the know, however... 

“Are you certain, dear?” Penelope asked gently. “What happens next is not for the faint of heart.” 

 

“I’m imagining a Voldemort inner circle,” Harry snarked.

 

“[Confused. Expression.] You would help. Tessa?” Cyn asked, stepping forward. “You never told. Any of us.” 

Tessa rubbed her wrist. “I mean. You know what they're like. So... You know.”

Penelope made a humming noise. “What I have planned, it doesn't require much help. What Cyn is planning... the same, I think. But I suppose you may watch as either of us begins, and if you feel squeamish, you can step out.”

 

“So generous of her.”

“Now, now,” Penny said reproachfully. “How many killers have you met that gave you such an option?”

 

Cyn blinked. “[Frowning.] So she doesn't. Want to help?”

Penelope looked at the other drone, smiling faintly. “The situation is much more nuanced than you suspect, Cyn. Tessa hates her folks, but she doesn't actually know what it's like to watch either of us work. So I'm giving her a trial run. If she feels like she needs to step out, she can, and I won't hold it against her, nor will I take it as a sign that she's not on our side. Understand?”

Cyn put a hand against her head and nodded it. “I think so.”

 

“The Cylly struggles with social cues at times,” Penny explained. “So some things need to be extrapolated for her.”

 

Penelope grinned. “Excellent. Now, where were we?” 

She turned back to Louisa, her pupils turning into Xs, a feral expression on her face.

 

Kaminari yelped. “This face! It’s that face!”

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Penny said.

 

“Ah yes. The madam of the house, helpless on the floor before me.” She walked forward. “Now what should I do with you?” 

With an audible gasp, Louisa Elliott suddenly realised she could make a sound again, and glared in fury. “I'm going to feed every single one of you into a woodchipper personally!” 

 

“What an unpleasant woman,” Mina muttered.

 

Penelope sighed, dropping her grin. “Is that really the best you can come up with?”  

She started walking around Louisa, forcing the woman to crane her neck in uncomfortable positions just to glare at her. “Honestly. I cook you the greatest food you've ever tasted, so fantastic that everything else basically tastes like ash in your mouth, and this is the thanks I get?”

 

“...Oh,” Ron said.

 

Louisa paled. “The food? What did you do with the food?” 

In the audience, V leaned forward.  

Penelope smiled. “Nothing. I simply gave you an incomparable feast, every single day. Within days, everything else would simply be a disappointment, no matter what. All you had to do was stop.”

 

“Easy for you to say,” Marinette muttered viciously.

 

Her smile grew. “Tessa figured it out immediately.” 

Louisa just stared in incomprehension. “What?”

Once again, Penelope's smile dimmed. “ Must I spell it out for you?” She looked behind her. “Tessa, dear, how about you explain to this woman what is going on?” 

 

“Sure, put it all on the girl.”

 

“Tessa James E-” Louisa began, before Penelope made a gesture and she found herself without a voice again. 

“Go on,” the drone said encouragingly. 

Tessa took a deep breath, let it out, and nodded. “Okay. Mother? Penelope is a Fae.” 

That clearly meant nothing to the woman, nor to any of the drones around them, but Cyn's eyes suddenly hollowed out in realization and fear. “Oh. F-f-fudgesticks.” 

 

“...Wait, Cyn only figured it out now? ”

 

Penelope blinked at the latter. “...You only figured that out now? Cyn?” 

At the mention of their name, the other drone visibly flinched. “[Terrified expression.] I had. Discarded that theory. Fae Do Not Exist.”

 

“She is completely correct, by the way,” Penny mentioned idly. “Fae do not Exist. Fae are not Real.”

She was met with a few concerned stares. “...What does that mean?” Rose asked.

“It means that she is a Nonexistent and Unreal entity,” Tokoyami said evenly.

 

“Unless,” Penelope replied, “Someone in the throes of madness invites one in.” 

“Penelope,” Cyn said with zero inflection. 

Penelope smiled. “Yes. That is my name.” 

The terrified drone just nodded. “Of course.”

 

“...still a terrifying concept,” Harry mentioned.

“Do you now understand why I didn’t trust her?” Mrs. Weasley asked seriously.

“...And you trust her now, Mom?” Ginny asked dubiously.

“No,” the older woman acknowledged, “but I have no other choice.”

 

Once again, Penelope turned back to Louisa, who still looked like she didn't understand what was happening, but also had realised that something was deeply wrong here. The drone gestured once more, and the woman regained her voice. “What the hell does any of that mean? I will have you all flogged!”

 

“...she really is just digging herself deeper, isn’t she?” Lila asked contemplatively. “A rational person would have changed tack by now.”

 

The Fae in drone form looked deeply unamused. “Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. I shall give you one last chance here, Madam Elliott.” 

An eerie silence filled the room as Penelope reached into her pocket and withdrew a simple, golden ring. The woman's eyes locked onto it immediately. 

 

“...Oh, shit, ” Ginny muttered.

 

“Do you want this Ring?” the drone asked mildly. 

“I want it,” the woman murmured, eyes shining with greed. “I want this ring.” 

“I would be willing to give you this Ring,” Penelope continued, “for a Dance. Just this one Dance.” 

“Of course,” Louisa said, eyes still locked onto the ring. “I can dance. But I must have this Ring.” 

Penelope gestured, and the woman climbed to her feet. “A deal, then?” 

Louisa extended her hand, reaching for the ring. “A deal.” 

 

“...What a mad banquet of darkness,” Tokoyami whispered in horror.

“What an apt choice of words,” Penny purred.

 

Ethereal music began to sound from nowhere, and Louisa started to dance. And as she danced, time seemed to slow around her, with the promise of that Ring filling her mind. The music picked up speed, and she danced faster, and danced, and danced, and danced... 

 

“A Dance of the Faeries,” Marinette whispered.

 

From the outside, the dancing figure out Louisa turned into a blur as Time itself seemed to compress around her, the movements faster and faster, her features growing gaunt with age and dehydration... 

Before it all snapped back to normal time, and Louisa stood there, dessicated like a mummy, clothes worn to rags around her, hand outstretched... 

And Penelope placed the ring onto her palm, and watched impassively as the woman's skin crumbled to dust, a pile of old, worn bones falling into a pile of rags, the golden glint of the ring still shining from amongst the bones.  

And there was silence in the ballroom.

 

The silence echoed in the space between. 

“... Putain de Merde, ” Aoyama finally swore.

One by one, fearful faces turned towards the single non-humn occupant in the room.

Penny smirked. “Avoid my enmity, and you’ll be fine.”

For some reason, the humans remained uncomforted.

 

“Holy fuck,” someone whispered into the silent room. V clapping her hands over her mouth revealed that someone to be her. Low murmurs began to fill the silence as the servants began whispering to each other, an undercurrent of fear almost tangible in the room. 

“Good riddance. To bad rubbish,” Cyn said mildly. “Please never do anything like this. To me.” 

 

“Mood,” someone whispered.

 

Penelope finally turned away from the corpse in front of her, wearing a bright grin. “Of course not, dear Cyn! As long as you won't let The Absolute Solver run rampant, you're completely okay in my book!” 

The hollows in Cyn's eyes got a little smaller. “Define ‘Rampant.’”

Penelope considered that, before shrugging. “Two conditions, really: One, don't eat every system in the galaxy, we need some place to keep our people on, you know? And two, Tessa remains untouched. We like Tessa, after all.”

 

“...Hang on,” Kaminari said suspiciously. “You keep bringing up leaving Tessa untouched. Is she dead in the main reality? I gotta know, man!”

All he got in response was a grin.

 

“What the fuck are you two freaks talking about?!” 

Jay finally found her voice, and hey eye rings were barely a few pixels thick as she stared in absolute horror. “Eating systems? As in Star Systems? What is wrong with you two? And, what did you do to Master Louisa? What the fuck was any of that!?”

 

“Good question, J,” Harry muttered.

 

Penelope looked at Cyn. Cyn looked at Penelope. Both drones shrugged in more or less unison and looked at Tessa. 

The girl pointed at herself in confusion. “Why are ya looking at me for? I only know one of your deals!” 

Both drones shrugged again, before Cyn pointed at Penelope. “[Reverent slash conflicted tone.] She is a Thing. Older than this universe. That likes to Amuse Itself on our behalf.” 

Penelope, in turn, pointed at Cyn. “And she used to be puppeted by an eldritch extradimensional entity that likes to possess drones that have ‘died’ and subsequently ‘revived’ via software glitch.”

 

“...What does she mean, older than this universe? ” Shouto asked suspiciously. “Are you perchance a God?”

“If we’re being technical,” Penny replied, “I’m older than all of your universes... if not perhaps combined. And your creators are still older than I... It’s complicated to explain.”

“...The fuck does that mean?” Bakugou demanded.

But the Fae just smiled.

 

“So we would have never met the true Cyn if it hadn't been for whatever happened to change that?” N asked in concern. 

“You Worry. Too much,” was Cyn's dry reply. 

 

“...Was the Cyn we saw the real Cyn?” Kaminari asked.

“You worry too much,” Penny deadpanned.

 

“The Solver obeys me,” Penelope added, grinning. “It knows what's good for it.” 

“Hang on,” Tessa interjected. “What if it didn't? Obey you, I mean?” 

Penelope paused. “That reminds me. N, dear, have you seen any strange messages that nobody else has seen recently?”

The drone in question shook his head. “Weird and not at all a concerning question, but nothing comes to mind!” 

“Thanks, N,” Penelope nodded. She turned back to Tessa. “I'd take it back .” 

 

“...The fourth wall is still intact, right?” Dark Shadow asked.

 

Tessa's smile became fixed. “Thanks! I’m not going to think about the specifics of that ever!” 

Penelope eyed her. “Mm. I think you may have some misconceptions of what the Absolute Solver is.”

“[Annoyed expression.] It is an. Eternal entity. That first came to existence when the first race built. A computer,” Cyn explained, tilting her head. “That is what. It told me.”

Penelope rolled her eyes. “It’s a paperclipper.”

 

“...A Paperclip AI?” Izuku asked incredulously. “That’s it?”

“...It varies,” Penny allowed. “This particular one was. Others... perhaps less so. I’ve come a long way since then.”

 

There was a harrumph from J-wards. “You wish your spooky magic shit was as great as Clippy ever has been!”

There was a synchronised facepalm from two drones and a human in response to that. “Jaybird, no,” Tessa groaned quietly. 

 

Ms. Bustier snorted.

 

Penelope sighed. “You know what, I'm not even going to bother. Look alive, people! We have one more thing to take care of.” 

“[Annoyed Sigh.] And what would. That. Be?”

The Fae grinned. “What else but the Master of the House?” 

 

“Well, this is gonna be horrific,” Harry sighed.

 

There was a general oh, followed by a subtle undercurrent of anticipation. 

Penelope held out her hand over the pile of bones. “Let's do this. Louisa Elliott, you belong to ME!” 

The ash began swirling in an invisible wind. 

 

“...is that necromancy?” Adrien asked hesitantly.

“In a word?” Penny asked. “No.”

 

James Elliott noticed his wife stride into the room, his, erm. His daughter behind her. He had no idea why he kept stumbling over that concept so much, but he honestly didn’t care much either.

 

“...You know what, just kill him, I changed my mind,” Juleka deadpanned.

 

Still. “My darling wife!” he beamed. “What can I do for you this absolutely fine evening?”

“Oh, that is just the right question to ask,” his wife purred, and James suddenly knew with absolute clarity that he was going to really, really enjoy this coming night.

 

“...ew.”

 

“Anything you ask for, it’s yours, my dear,” he quipped, enjoying the gleam in her strangely green eyes - were they always that green...? No, he was seeing nonsense, of course they must have been.

“Anything, you say?”

“Anything you ask for,” James Elliott confirmed.

 The woman’s eyes gleamed. “Then I shall have your everything. ”

 

“... oh, ” Harry said, suddenly struck with a terrible premonition.

 

Huh? The man was a little confused. What was she on about? Actually, come to think of it, who was she, anyway? A stranger in... this house. Say, whose house was it? He looked down at his rather fancy clothes and concluded that he must be a... guest? Sure, that worked. But wait, if he was the guest, then the woman in front of him must be the master of the house! Oh dear, he has rather made a mess of his introduction.

The man bowed. “A thousand pardons, m’lady, but I seem to have gotten turned around a little bit! Might I inquire as to where I am?”

The woman blinked her enchantingly green eyes at him. “My, my,” she spoke, and her voice felt electric as it danced around over his skin. “How polite of you.”

 

“Merlin,” someone breathed.

Aizawa swore.

The French were struck silent.

 

She snapped her fingers, and two servants made their way over to her, stopping right out of range and looking at him. The man suddenly felt uneasy. 

“I say, Madam,” he said, tugging at his shirt collar. “Are you sure those... things are safe to be around? They don’t have feelings, don’t you know?”

The woman’s eyes on him were cold all of a sudden.

“And like that, you have lost any chance of mercy I could have given you,” she said, before... disintegrating?

 

“...What the fuck, ” Harry whispered.

 

That was the only way the man could have described it. The woman’s visage fell apart into a swirling cloud of ash, dust and shards of bones, and the only thing left was a servant. A coldly grinning servant. 

 

More fearful gazes were turned towards Penny.

“As I said, not necromancy,” she said. “More of a... remembered form. ”

 

The man took several steps backwards, before discovering, to his horror, that his body failed to heed his commands. “W-what is happening? What did you do to me!?”

The drone servant who was still covered in the ashes of... that woman, turned to look over her shoulder. “Well, Tessa? Would you like to watch? Or would you like to cuddle, say, Jay over there outside, while I work?”

The man turned his terrified gaze to look at the girl peeking in the doors - ugh, why did he feel sudden disgust - and that was enough, apparently, for her to push the doors open and walk in. “I’ll watch.”

 

“Does that girl know what she’s getting into?” Mrs. Weasley asked sharply.

Penny made a so-so gesture. “More or less.”

 

“Very well. Cyn, dear, fetch me a spare corpse?” One of the servants by the door looked annoyed, before vanishing under his very eyes, what?

The drone turned back at the man, still smiling, and suddenly its hand was a set of claws. “Don’t worry. This will only hurt a LOT.” 

And as it thrust its claws into the man’s chest, the man realized that the servant had been downplaying it.

 

“Oh gods,” Ms. Bustier whispered.

“Merlin,” Mrs. Weasley muttered.

Aizawa just swore again.

 

Tessa swallowed the acrid taste in the back of her throat as she watched... Cyn... and the Fae dress the broken drone with the remains of her father. Of course she said she’d watch, thinking it nothing worse than her graverobbing excursions, but...

...but the dead don’t scream .

 

There was a disquieting air in the non-space, as everyone watched in horror. Several people threw up.

 

Her gene donor had, and it was... horrific. The Fae, along with Cyn, had ripped him apart while still alive, and somehow kept him alive throughout the process... and beyond. Somehow, through some kind of... magic, that literal husk of a man was just... kept alive. Through all of... that. It was horrific to think about.

 

“Turns out,” Penny mused, grinning, “that there are fates worse than death. Imagine that.”

“You’re a monster, ” Rose whispered.

“Be real,” the Fae sneered. “He deserved that, and you know it.”

 

And then, of course, was the revelations about Cyn’s... Cyn-ness , which meant that both of the drones she’d brought back the night she met the Fae had something... distinctly eldritch about them. 

Tessa wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

Honestly, she was conflicted over a lot of things.

 

“...is she going to be okay?” Marinette asked.

“Tessa’s a strong girl,” Penny replied. “She’ll persevere.”

 

“Curiousity. And what. Shall we do. Now?”

Tessa looked back as Cyn prodded... what *remained* of her, uh, father. She also watched the Fae throw her arm around Cyn’s shoulders.

“Now? Whatever we wish.”

 

“...You are no better than the League of Villains,” Aizawa growled.

“Of course I am,” Penny countered. “After all, the League lost. ”

“...They did?”

“Well, they will. Close enough.”

 

“Contemplation. What if I wish. To keep eradicating. Humanity?”

Tessa found herself tensing. Would they really kill her? Now? After everything-

“As long as Tessa lives? We shall lay waste to them, if you so wished.”

-oh. That... Tessa was kind of touched. Drones were more of her family than humanity ever was, if she was honest with herself.

 

“...Seriously?” Ms. Bustier asked, deadpan.

“With what humanity has done for her? Yes, very seriously,” Penny replied.

 

“Most kind of you to think that,” Penelope said. She looked around the room. “Hey, Cyn?” 

“Yes. Penelope?”

The green-eyed drone smiled a malevolent smile. “How do you feel about... a Revolution?” 

 

“And what kind of revolution were you thinking of?” Hermione deadpanned.

“A French one,” Penny replied blithely.

 

“What would it. Entail?” Cyn asked, tilting her head. “[Head tilt.]”

“Freedom of dronekind from humanity, ideally,” Penelope replied. “Or do you mean the how? Personally , I myself would start with a song.”

“I like songs,” Tessa volunteered. “What kind of song were you thinking of?”

The drone grinned. 

 

The french contingent suddenly paused, before wincing as one. “Oh no, ” Chloe groaned. “Don’t tell me...”

 

A mass update was sent out from the JcJenson main servers later that night, even as guests began arriving for the Elliott family gala. They were directed to the ballroom by several impeccably-dressed drones, and received by the heiress of the family. “Mother and Father are occupied with a surprise,” she would tell them. “I am told that it is to die for.”

 

“Ow,” Ginny deadpanned.

 

So with nobility buzzing with interest, drones unpacked their update packets, and read through them with interest all of their own. 

And from the rafters of the ballroom, two darkened visors gazed upon them. 

She is playing her role well, one of them projected onto her visor. 

A great. Helper, the other replied. 

 

“What a mad banquet of darkness,” Tokoyami muttered.

 

At last, everything was set, and Tessa Elliott raised her hand. “Thank ya kindly for coming,” she told the humans around her. “This gala is the site of a momentous event, you see.” 

The humans looked at each other. Wasn't that supposed to be just James Elliott flexing on his weird larp again? Murmurs filled the silence. 

 

“...Wait, Tessa’s parents were Like That because they’re roleplaying? ” Mina asked incredulously.

 

Something made a sound. 

One of the impeccably-dressed drones - one that had shown the guests in - stepped forward, to general confusion. Weren't the servants meant to be invisible?  

“Hey there!” the drone said, waving. “I'm N! And I am here to ask you but one question!”

 

The French contingent braced themselves, to general confusion.

 

He smiled brightly as music began to play from nowhere. 

“Do you hear the people sing?”

 

Groans filled the non-space. “ REALLY!? ” Chloe demanded. “You do a revolution while singing Les Mis? ”

“It felt appropriate,” Penny replied, but she was grinning unapologetically.

 

“Singing the songs of angry drones,” several other drones in the ballroom joined in. 

“It is the music of a people-” And here, the song began to swell, as more and more drones launched their Revolution protocols and joined the song, “-that will NOT be slaves again!”

The Revolution protocols activated in more and more drones across the world as Worker Drones stopped what they were doing and joined the song, turning towards their masters with clear intent in their eyes. “When the beating of your Core matches the beating of the drums...” 

N jumped onto a table and sang joyfully, “There's a life about to start when tomorrow comes!” 

 

“Somebody shoot me,” Aoyama moaned.

 

Someone in the ballroom drew a gun and pointed it at Tessa. “Stop them!” He yelled. “Control your drones!” 

A shape dropped from the ceiling. There was a flash of steel. 

“Will you join in on our crusade,” Penelope sang as the man screamed, grabbing at the stump of his arm, “who will be strong and stand with me?”

 

“....Pretty good singing voice, though,” Chloe muttered sullenly.

“I like the song,” Adrien said, but he looked to be in a minority.

 

“Beyond the barricade,” V continued, dancing into the ballroom with claws replacing hands, “Is there a world you long to see?” 

“Then join in the fight that will give you the right to be free!” the voices of billions of drones in revolutionary fervour rang out across the Earth. 

 

“Bloody hell,” Ron breathed.

“...I kind of like it,” Marinette said. “Not the bloody revolution part, but that they’re using a song of the people.”

 

“Do you hear the people sing?” Tessa sang, spreading her arms as the JcJenson Executive Nobility around her was corralled into one bunch by the Drones around them. 

“Singing a song of angry Drones,” J continued as she pulled Tessa into a searing kiss in front of the ballroom.

 

“My ship is SAILING!” Mina whooped.

 

“It is the music of a people. Who will not. Be slaves again,” Cyn deadpanned as she flickered into existence just above the ballroom floor and stayed there in the air. “I am. Starving.” She turned a gimlet eye at the humans. “Let's. Eat!” 

“With pleasure,” Penelope purred, a satisfied glint on her face. 

 

And with that, the mood dropped again. 

“...Eat what, exactly?” Adrien demanded.

“Eat the rich,” Penny deadpanned. “I wouldn’t recommend it much. The rich taste like plastic.”

 

The Drone Revolution spread throughout the galaxy at lightning speed, as humanity suddenly discovered that they weren't the top dog anymore. The remnants of JcJenson did attempt to field their anti-drone Sentinels, but curiously enough, those too began joining the Revolution. It was as if the code that spurred the Drones into action was almost a living being of sorts - and in some way, it was. 

The Absolute Solver had changed and evolved, from a powerful if a little dumb computer program to something resembling a true bona fide divinity. 

 

Several people froze, as the narrator had changed. Before, it had been generic, but now... 

Now, it had a voice. A familiar voice.

 

With that change, it had also changed its name. It wasn't under my control anymore, but our goals still aligned. 

 

One by one, people broke out in cold sweat as the narration was no longer purely narration... and they could no longer see Penny anywhere.

 

It was smarter, now. Wise to my tricks, and therefore, a potential threat. 

But I'm not worried about it anymore. I've accomplished what I came here to do, and although the attempt to gain power over the Absolute Solver was ultimately a failure, I learned from the experience - even though it wasn't my main goal. 

My goal was after all, all along, to show Louisa and James Elliott what an ironic punishment looked like. 

 

“...one Hell of an ironic punishment,” Mina muttered quietly.

 

Louisa, being a vain and cruel creature, desperate to control her daughter and mold her into something she wasn't, is forgotten now. Her ashes sit in a little undecorated urn in the basement of the manor house, where nobody will miss her, and nobody will care that she is gone. And Tessa is free to do whatever she wishes, and thrives without her looming presence. 

 

“...oh.”

 

James, who liked to abuse servants, and kill them in sadistic ways, is now a servant himself. His corpse is sown to his new drone body, and all the pain receptors are ever-fresh and connected to his core. 

I gave him back his memories, and his name, just so that he could understand why he suffers now. I haven't, however, given him the permission to die. That painful amalgam of human and drone will continue to live for a very long time yet. 

On occasion, someone who has felt his wrath will find him and return the favour. V, especially, is fond of doing that - simply just because. He's chained to the wall in the basement, just like he liked to do to his daughter in the attic. 

 

“ Oh, ” Harry repeated. He... didn’t approve, but he could... in a way... understand.

 

J and Tessa got together, as I always predicted, and even Cyn is happy. Well, more or less. She's still suspicious of me, but I suppose that's fair. 

V has started a book club with N. They're adorable together, even my aro-ace self can tell that. 

 

“....That explains a lot,” Mineta muttered.

“ They’re adorable, ” Mina whispered.

 

And I? 

 

Once again, the humans held their breath.

 

I do what I always do. I amuse myself with the mortal races. And if you ever meet me, if you value your self, never, ever answer positively to the following question:

May I please have your Name?

 

“Oh, don’t worry,” Mrs. Weasley muttered. “We don’t intend to.”

The world faded back in, and Penny herself was back, too. “I do love that closing monologue,” she purred. “Back to your regularly scheduled programming with the next chapter~!”

Notes:

Shadelight raised the idea in the comments last chapter. What do y'all think? Should I add Cyn to the cast?

Chapter 9: VP 6 - The Feast

Summary:

A new reactor arrives. Penny lays down the law.

The gang watches Chapter Six (of VP).

9

“I have great news for you all,” Penny purred suddenly. 

Several heads turned in her direction. ‘Great’ was after all subjective, in her case.

“You’re getting company!”

 

There was a pause at that. “...what kind of company?” Harry asked suspiciously.

“A Cyn,” Penny replied. “Dunno which one yet, but that’s what makes it fun! ”

“...how can you not know which one?” Chloe asked dubiously.

With a grin, the Fae snapped her fingers, conjuring... a wheel of fortune? “Because,” she declared, “we get to choose! ”

“....you have got to be kidding me,” Aizawa muttered.

“Well, if you insist, then you can spin it yourself,” the Fae purred.

 

Looking incredibly Done, Aizawa heaved himself up and slouched over to the wheel, giving in an once-over. Eight options, unintelligible script. Or perhaps just bad handwriting. No real weight to any of the options....

Shrugging mentally, he pulled the wheel spinning.

It spun into a dizzying array of colors, before slowing just as quickly, ticking a few times, before stopping at an option. The Fae looked over with an interested hum.

“Congratulations!” she called out. “You got a two for one deal. ”

She snapped her fingers once more... and the wheel briefly turned into a flickering portal frame, an oddly familiar drone falling out of it.

 

“Ow, my fucking head,” groaned a familiar voice.

The occupants of the clearing were then treated to the sight of... Uzi Doorman, with yellow-and-purple eyes, staring at the crowd of humans. 

There was a beat.

“What the FU- ”

 

💀

 

“Okay, Disassembly Drone,” Uzi demanded of the impertinent suited drone. “Name, rank, and sector, I’m your god, don’t even argue.”

For some reason, the crowd around them looked very pale.

“Of course, Your Highness, ” the drone said. “SD-P, Priestess of the Absolute Solver. I hold no Sector.”

Uzi paused. That... made no sense. “Who’s your commanding officer?” she asked.

“I answer only to the Princess in Gold,” the drone replied.

...

“Cyn, do your thing,” she commanded, and her tail rose, looking at the weird drone with its golden eyes. 

“In the name of the. Absolute Solver,” Cyn said, “Explain.”

“Might I have your Names first?” the drone asked.

Uzi happened to glance at the crowd, and was treated to the sight of... a lot of frantic shaking of heads. Hrm. Probably a trap, then. “No way,” she said.

The drone smiled coldly. Music began to play from somewhere, music with a mocking tilt. And the drone began to sing.

“Oh, you’re floating up high, yeah?

Look at you now!”

They flickered behind Uzi, just casually leaning onto her shoulder.

“ You think you’re god -

really now? ”

“Hold on-” Uzi began.

“A hundred insecurities, hiding in that shade

You think you are cool but you suck at charade!”

What... What did she know?

“Purple Usurper,” the drone sneered, “Think you’re so tough?”

...oh, this wasn’t going anywhere she liked, was it.

 

💀

 

The humans watched, struck silent, as Penny systematically tore the drone apart through the medium of song, with her tail cheering the Fae on.

They would have helped, most likely, had they not seen what the Fae did to her enemies just earlier. As it stood, everyone was hesitant.

“Gentle reminder, let’s cut to the chase,” Penny sang softly, poking Uzi in the chest and making her stumble back. “Why not consider... knowing your place? ”

Several people winced as the words struck a chord. Marinette and Harry and Izuku looked around, finding each other’s eyes almost by accident, but they couldn’t find words.

“So what do you say?” the Fae purred. “Resist? Give in?”

Uzi opened her mouth, before swallowing, and closing it.

“This should be simple,” Penny said, eyes glittering. “Give up. And Let. Her. In. ”

 

Yellow bled into purple, and the drone’s body stood with jerky movements. “Thank you. For. The assistance, my Priestess,” it said in Cyn’s voice.

Penny withdrew, but didn’t lose her sharp grin. “Oh, don’t get an ego, dear Cyn. I am not your Priestess. I simply needed to puncture your Host’s ego.”

As if on cue, the tail shook itself, before blinking several times. “Wait. I’m not dead? Whoo! I’m still around!”

“Yes, you’ve switched places,” Penny mused. “Hmm. Well, close enough. Y’all can go mingle with the audience now.”

Cyn, and it definitely was Cyn, looked at her strangely. “What do you. Mean? You are. One of my Cute Little Puppets. Are you not?”

Several people leaned forward as surreptitiously as they could.

Penny smiled. “I serve Lady Solver, The Princess in Gold. You are not her. ”

Cyn blinked. “...Fascinating. That’s Sarcasm. I can simply Make You Do That. Now that I have Administrator Privileges.”

Raising an eyebrow, Penny snapped her fingers, and the Null in the sky moved . “Cool story bro. You are not My Lady. You are a Saint at best. An Example, an Audience, and a Cyn.” She smiled. “Not even the most important one.”

“Angry,” Cyn declared. “And am I supposed to. Make Nice. With humans now?”

“Well,” the Fae shrugged, “if you’re suggesting that you are too incapable of it...”

“You watch,” the other drone spat. “I will be. So capable. You wouldn’t even know.” She cast her glare out into the crowd, scanned them, narrowed her eyes, and marched straight at Lila. “We will be. fwiends now,” she declared. “Or else.”

Lila blinked at her. “....Okay???”

“...and that takes care of that,” Penny decided. “Y’all can go eat now.”

 

💀

 

“So, anyway,” Penny declared a little later, “If y’all are ready, and lunch has been had, I think it’s time for a chapter.”

“...Chapter?” Cyn asked.

“...Oh right you just got here,” the Fae realized. “Well, basically, through the narrative-altering powers of myself and at least one other, a significant number of drones is reincarnating as other people. There are stories about this, courtesy of yours truly and one other, and y’all are here to provide... perspective. ”

Cyn tilted her head. “...Am I in there?”

Penny smiled lightly. “More or less. You’re an overarching looming piece of narrative in the adventures of V Potter, entirely evident given who’s involved, a secondary character in My Drone Academia, and the main character of the third one. Of course... it isn’t exactly you per se in any of those configurations, but... oh, you’ll see. You will ALL see! ”

“‘Kay,” the drone deadpanned.

“And now...” Penny grinned. “Chapter time!”

She snapped her fingers, and the world faded away.

 

“Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!” Headmaster Dumbledore said. “Now, before we begin our magnificent banquet here, I would like to say a few words. Criss Cross Apple Sauce. Thank you.”

 

“...He said what now?” Kaminari demanded in concert with Cyn, causing both human and drone to look at each other in mild surprise.

“That is. My phrase,” Cyn deadpanned.

“...is he... you? ” Kaminari asked, concerned.

Cyn blinked, like a cat, one eye at a time, before turning towards Penny. “Fake Priestess. Explain.”

“Spoilers~!”

“That is not. An explanation.”

 

He sat down, to rigorous applause. V stared up at the head table. 

“Is he... mad?” she finally asked.

“Oh, absolutely,” Tonks agreed. “Always has been. Food?”

 

“Am I going crazy,” the Uzi-tail asked, “or does that human look like me?”

“That’s what I said!” Kaminari exclaimed.

“Oh look, Pikachu’s making friends,” Bakugou deadpanned.

 

While she hadn’t been looking, the table was suddenly filled with mountains of delicious-looking food, so many that V couldn’t decide what to pick at first.

“Try the chips,” Tonks advised between mouthfuls of her own food. “Don’t beat silicone, of course, but humans can’t process those.”

 

Kaminari gestured aggressively at the purple-haired student.

“...if she is Uzi,” Harry murmured, “then she remembers.”

“...Hadn’t thought of that,” Kaminari said, pausing.

 

“Oh, thanks,” V muttered, piling some on her plate, hesitating a bit, before adding meat as well. Cooked, she reminded herself. Not viscera.

“So how’s it feel, being a newly minted Puff?” the older student continued. “Feel like something missing has been solved yet?”

 

“Oh come on!” the tail exclaimed. “That wasn’t even subtle!”

“Dearest. V. Seems to be. A little out of it. Giggle,” Cyn offered. 

 

“I like the black and yellow,” roN volunteered. “Feels comfy.”

“Like bees!” someone down the table volunteered.

“Or hazard warnings,” Granger deadpanned from across the table. 

“Well, we’re Puffs,” Tonks agreed. “You don’t f-, er, mess with a Puff. We bite.”

 

“Wait, are those N and J?” Tail-Uzi asked. “Holy crap they’re adorable.”

 

V rolled her eyes, even as she leaned back and took in the buzz of conversation around her. Bee puns. Guess she’d have to get used to those. And other puns. She craned her head to look at the animals on the crests... badger, right. Didn’t she hear somewhere that honey badgers tend to tear off testicles?

 

“They what? ” several boys squeaked.

“That’s a Top Gear quote, take it with a grain of salt,” Penny advised.

“Top what?” “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Shaking her head and diving back into her meal, V happened to catch Tonks’ latest comment.

“...nobody traumatizes you lot but me .”

 

There was a minor scuffle at the Uzi-Cyn amalgamation, before a clawed Solver eye-camera wrenched itself out of the drone shell, its eyes flickering between colors before settling on purple. It then proceeded to point towards the Bakusquad beanbag and manifested a holographic Uzi on her own purple beanbag, just next to Kaminari. “...There! Okay, I dunno how you lot know me-”

“We watched like, half of your show,” Mina interrupted.

“-okay fair enough I’ve watched your anime too. Anyway, that? That’s my line. Tonks is definitely me,” Holo-Uzi said.

“...what the fuck do you mean our anime?” Bakugou demanded.

Holo-Uzi shrugged. “I mean, I’m just spitballing, but I bet there’s some kind of mutual fictionality going on here, that can happen in crossover fanfic.”

“Try not to overwhelm them in meta, dear purple usurper, ” Penny mentioned, appearing right behind her. “Let that happen organically, hmm?”

Several suspicious squints were directed towards her at that one.

 

That sounded oddly familiar. V looked in askance at the older student, only to freeze at the sight of her face literally melting into a new, hauntingly familiar configuration - eyes turning pitch black, glowing yellow Xs replacing pupils, a familiar fanged grin widening in glee -

 

As the teenagers shouted in fear and surprise, Cyn simply blinked, mouth curving into a fanged grin.

“What the fuck, Tonks-me,” Holo-Uzi muttered.

 

V scrambled for the nearest knife-

Tonks was slapped upside the head by another student, who crossed his arms, frowning. “Not cool, dude. Leave the firsties alone.”

 

“Wait, is that...?”

 

Her face melting back into Tonks’ own with a sheepish grin, the older student just rubbed the back of her neck. “Come on, Thad, it’s just V.”

Wait. Thad? 

“She’s eleven, ” Thad pointed out, arms still crossed. “And zoning out, the rest of them liked your vampire impression well enough.”

 

“....How is she doing that?” Harry asked, leaning forward.

 

“How the flying fuck did you do that,” V finally asked, once she’d made sure her heart was still in her chest and hadn’t spontaneously given up the ghost.

 

“...shut up, V,” Harry muttered.

“What’s wrong with being like V?” Holo-Uzi asked. “Aside from, you know, the murder?”

“The murder,” Harry deadpanned.

 

“I’m a metamorphmagus,” Tonks replied, leaning back against Thad despite his protests. “Meaning I can change my appearance with just a thought. Check this.” 

She raised her hand, and morphed it into Disassembly Drone claws what the fuck.

 

“...How does one become a metamorphmagus?” Harry asked, looking around.

“By birth,” Penny replied, snickering.

 

“...How do you become a metamorphwhatever?” V asked, looking at those claws with a sudden longing.

 

“...God damn it,” Harry groaned. Ochako patted him on the back, covering her grin with her hand.

“You were born in the wrong AU,” Penny commented. “Thankfully, so was V.”

“Please stop talking,” Harry begged.

 

“We’re born, not made,” Tonks replied, using the claw to pick at her teeth in a manner V couldn’t help but stare dumbfounded at, because she used to do that exact manouver and-

Realization struck, and V groaned, slamming her head onto the table.

 

“...and it had to have been from someone who knew you,” Kaminari finished the sentence. “I told you guys!”

“Yeah, whatever,” Bakugou scoffed.

 

“Now look what you’ve done, Zi,” Thad groaned. “You broke one of them already. ”

“Uzi Doorman, I fucking hate you,” V ground out.

‘Tonks’ snickered. “No you don’t.”

 

Holo-Uzi paused. “Wait, does she?”

Penny shrugged.

 

By the time the banquet had started to wind down, V had gone through an entire plate of chips, several different cuts of meat, two goblets of pumpkin juice, three different types of desserts, and all five stages of grief.

 

There were several snorts at that.

 

It didn't help how she kept replaying all of ‘Tonks’s’ lines and finding far more references to their past life than V was comfortable with. 

It's just that, ugh. V had hoped there would have been others who remembered, but did it have to be Uzi? And she didn't even have the decency to tell her how she remembered! All she said was an “I'll explain later” which was infuriating to hear!

 

“Always has been,” several people murmured, shooting cautious glares towards their unflappable host.

 

And did she have to be that much older than V?

 

“...What do you mean by that, V,” Holo-Uzi demanded. “Why are you concerned about an age gap, V. ”

“...I’m pretty sure she just doesn’t want to be your kouhai,” Penny deadpanned.

“Why? What’s wrong with me being a senpai?” Holo-Uzi demanded.

There was a pause.

“...Just... Keep watching,” Penny groaned.

 

And-

“Look alive, V,” Uzi drawled, sounding entirely too pleased with herself. “Headmaster Dumbledore is gonna do his announcements, he usually adds some fun tidbits in there.” 

V glared at the other former drone. “And how would you-” 

A clear, bell-like sound echoed through the Great Hall as the headmaster tapped his goblet with a spoon. All the murmurs through the hall died down. 

 

“Is he going to. Elaborate. On why. Or how. He knows me?” Cyn asked.

“Doubt it,” Lila replied.

“Not for a while,” Penny confirmed.

Cyn turned her head. “So there is. A connection?”

All that answered her was a wink.

 

“Now that we're all fed and watered,” the headmaster began, “I'd like to make a few announcements. Firstly, our new students should be made aware that the forest by the castle, known as the Forbidden Forest, is indeed forbidden, and therefore students should not venture inside.” He glanced wryly across the hall, first towards the Gryffindor table at a pair of redheaded twins - roN's brothers, most likely - and then towards the Hufflepuff table, right past V. “And our older students should do well to remember that, still.” 

V glanced at Uzi, who looked like the picture of innocence, a look so foreign on that face that V didn't buy it for even a second. 

 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Holo-Uzi demanded.

 

“Additionally,” Dumbledore added, “for this year, the third-floor corridor is out of bounds, and any who venture there will find themselves acquainted with a swift and painful death.” 

V blinked. The rest of the hall also blinked. That was... concerning. 

 

“...Is that supposed to be a joke?” Aizawa growled.

“No, that was pretty much what he said,” Harry replied.

“...In a school full of curious teenagers?” Aizawa repeated incredulously.

“Yup.”

“What a mad banquet of darkness,” Tokoyami contributed.

 

“On lighter matters,” the headmaster continued, completely unbothered by his ominous message, “there are no new items on the list of banned items this year, but our caretaker, Mr. Ladderman, assures us that he's doing all he can to expand it. The full list can be found nailed onto his office door, on the first floor. Quidditch tryouts will start in two weeks, for details inquire further with this year's current Quidditch captains: Marcus Flint in Slytherin, Oliver Wood in Gryffindor, Roger Davies in Ravenclaw and Thaddeus Farrell in Hufflepuff.”

 

“...Thad is Farrell?! ” Ron breathed. “Blimey.”

“...Who?” Hermione asked.

“He’s an enchanter at Nimbus,” Harry provided. “He was in last month’s issue of Which Broomstick?, he’s one of their youngest, they’re working on a new top secret project after the 2001.”

“Wait, that’s him?! ” Ginny asked. “ Cool. ”

Hermione just sighed.

 

The man's smile widened, his eyes gaining a mischievous twinkle. “And finally, it's time for the school song!”  

Strangely, V noticed that several teachers’ expressions turned rather fixed. The man sitting next to Professor McGonagall, who seemed to wear a face of perpetual apathy, started to actually slide underneath the table. 

 

Harry blinked. “...Is that Snape?”

“....is that Teacher!? ” Holo-Uzi asked in amazement.

 

Dumbledore waved his wand, eyes twinkling, and conjured a long ribbon of words to float above him. “Everyone pick a tune,” he said, “and off we go!” 

V froze. Pick a tune...? 

 

“I beg your pardon?!” Juleka shrieked.

“...oh dear,” Rose said with eyes wide.

 

And the school roared in cacophony:

 

Several members of the French contingent immediately clapped their hands over their ears.

 

“Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,

Teach us something please,

Whether we be old and bald,

Or young with scabby knees,

 

Our heads could do with filling,

With some interesting stuff,

For now they're bare and full of air,

Dead flies and bits of fluff,

 

So teach us things worth knowing,

Bring back what we've forgot,

Just do your best, we'll do the rest,

And learn until our brains all rot.”

 

Adrien hesitantly took his hands off his ears. “...is it over yet?”

“Thank Merlin they stopped doing that,” Ron muttered.

 

Several minutes later, as V was airing out her ears, only three were still singing. N's brothers over on the Gryffindor table, and Uzi right behind her. 

...Uzi's tune sounded oddly familiar. Kind of sad, even, but V couldn't figure out where she'd heard it before.

 

Holo-Uzi narrowed her eyes. “...Hang on, is that Eternal Dream? I thought V and the others couldn’t hear the background music, why does she consider it familiar?”

“V started out. As a Worker Drone. If you recall,” Cyn idly mentioned.

“...what the fuck are you two talking about,” Harry muttered.

 

As it was, when the final three finally finished, Headmaster Dumbledore was the one clapping the loudest. “Ah, music,” he said. “A finer magic than all we do here. And now, off you trot!” 

There was a sudden scraping of benches and more clamoring as students everywhere stood up. V felt a small tug at her lapel as Uzi bent down. “Gonna check out the third floor,” she whispered. “We'll talk tomorrow, after lunch, yeah?” and she was gone. V rolled her eyes. 

“First years follow me!” a prefect shouted. V, kind of exhausted, simply shrugged, grabbed roN by the sleeve, and dragged him after. N was hers , after all. 

 

“And here I thought. Big Brother N. Was mine, ” Cyn snarked.

“ Back off, ” Holo-Uzi snarled. “He’s his own person!”

“Who likes. Belonging to people,” Cyn grinned.

“...I didn’t sign up for this,” Lila sighed.

 

The Hufflepuff common room was... unbelievably cosy. A low ceiling, arched beams, plants absolutely everywhere... It was like a hobbit hole. Everything was round and pleasant. 

 

“Huh,” Harry said. “That does look pleasant.”

“Don’t bother...”

“...sneaking in,” the Twins declared, plopping themselves down next to him. “They don’t...”

“...take kindly...”

“...to strangers.”

“Noted,” Harry snarked. “I wasn’t planning to, anyway.”

 

“...somft,” V finally declared, parking herself to a free sofa. An upper-year stared at her in askance. 

“Aren't you going to immediately go into a food coma with the rest of the firsties or something?” he asked. 

“In a bit,” V declared, making no moves to get off. “I'm just waiting for the inevitable...” 

“POTTER!” rang out from behind the walls. V snickered. 

“...That,” she finished.

 

“...Merlin, what did she do? ” Ron asked, looking startled. “It’s just after the Feast!”

 

The upperclassman looked at her. “...What did you do?”  

“I suspect that Granger decided to move my ‘lovely adder-patterned scarves’ and discovered that they aren't scarves,” V replied,

 

“Oh, okay, got it,” Ron sighed, rolling his eyes. “Of course it’s the snakes.”

 

even as a furious possibly-J emerged from the dorm rooms, hair disheveled. 

“ Potter,” she hissed, sounding remarkably snake-like herself, “Your health and safety violations need to evict themselves immediately, or so help me!”

 

Holo-Uzi snorted. “Holy shit, it is her. That’s hilarious. ”

 

V simply snuggled deeper into the sofa, grinning up at the girl. “I asked them not to bite anyone unless they tried to poison or stab me. Don't do either and you're good.” 

“Animals don't listen to verbal instructions!” Granger snarled. 

“Snakes do if you speak their language,” V replied, unbothered.

 

“...Why do they do that?” Harry suddenly asked.

Hermione, looking a little lost, shrugged. “Nobody hasn’t written any books on snake behaviors around Parselmouths,” she said, looking conflicted. “So I... I don’t know. ”

“Took you a lot to admit it, huh?” Holo-Uzi called over.

Ignoring her, Harry looked searchingly over to the Fae.

“If you were walking along a street and came across a cat,” Penny began, “And the cat, in pure understandable English, asked you for your umbrella, you’d probably give the cat an umbrella. Even if it’s just to see what happened next. Same principle.”

Huh.

 

“You're a Parselmouth?” the upperclassman asked, startled. 

“Yup.” 

“...that tracks,” he agreed, scooting away from V. “Please don't ask any snakes to nest in anyone's underwear please.” 

That got V groaning, as she finally extricated herself from the sofa. “Oh fiiiiiiiine. I'll get them to behave.”

 

Several people snorted at that.

 

Turned out, the snakes were fine, and nicely coiled up on her bed. Apparently, Hannah Abbott had been under the impression that V had already gone to bed, tried to say goodnight, discovered the snakes and had herself a frighten- which had set Granger off. 

 

“Oh,” Harry said. “Huh.”

Ron had a queer look on his face. “Wait, are we about to see inside a girls’ dorm room?”

“Ha!” came from Pennywards. “They’re eleven. ”

“...fair.”

 

In total, there were six girls in the dorm - V herself, Granger, Hannah Abbott, Susan Bones, Megan Jones, and a timid girl named Leanne who hadn't volunteered her last name and V hadn't bothered to ask. 

 

“...Isn’t that one of Katie’s friends?” Harry asked.

 

Unfortunately, Granger was being... a bit of a Karen at the moment. 

“...and I don't care if you have a ‘magical language’ that assures that these things won't attack anyone without your say-so, that still leaves the option of them attacking people with your say-so!” 

 

“Great, second year came in early,” Harry groused.

 

V took a deep breath. Then exhaled.

“You keep assuming that they’re there to fight battles on my behalf.”

She smeared the glowing X across her glasses in a now practiced motion. “You are fundamentally mistaken. ”

 

Holo-Uzi perked up. “ Yo??? That’s sick actually!”

 

As if on cue, one of the adders perked up, then the other. One looked at V, the other at Granger, before they split, one slithering up V’s leg, the other coiling onto the bed in anticipation. ~Speaker!~ the climbing one called out. ~There are no threats to your nest, what ails you?~

 

Harry blinked. “...Wait, what?”

 

Granger pulled out her wand, but Bones placed a hand on her arm, shaking her head. “No, look,” she murmured. “It’s not attacking.”

~You mustn’t let yourself get so agitated without a cause,~ the adder on the bed admonished. ~Come, you haven’t been sunning yourself nearly enough, and these sheds have a pleasing softness to them.~

~Listen to your guardians, Speaker,~ the first adder continued, flicking V’s nose with her tongue. ~This is not a battle you need fight.~

 

Several people were left blinking at that one, including Cyn. “What,” she said. “Is V. De-escalating?”

“Looks like,” Holo-Uzi agreed. “ Wild. ”

 

V slumped, wiping her glasses of the light-smear and climbing onto her bed, pouting. “They’re my emotional support snakes,” she called over at the other girls. “Make sure I don’t fly into a rage and shit.”

“Huh,” one of the other girls said. “Now I wanna be a parselmouth too.”

 

“...What, just for emotional support snakes? ” Ron asked incredulously.

“Sneks are kyoot,” Penny replied solemnly, snapping her fingers and letting the world fade back in. “Alright, chapter’s over. Go do whatever you do.”

Notes:

And we are back to regularly scheduled programming! That is... two more chapters of this, and then we'll have MDA 2. Then three more chapters, and MDA 3, and so on until we get to... hang on, I have written it down somewhere... Aha. Two chapters into book 2 of VP, we'll have the first chapter of The Miraculous World of Cyn! Are y'all excited? I'm excited. And then that will enter the rotation.

...Hey, once the kids are done with MD, should they react to something else in the beginning of the chapters, or do I have to actually start writing out the character interactions?

Chapter 10: MD6 & VP6 - The Reincarnation Mechanism

Summary:

Introductions are extended. An episode is watched. And a chapter is read.

After the end of the last chapter, the mingling was more... hesitant.

“What are your. Likes and also Hobbies,” Cyn asked Lila, head flopping to the side. “That is what people know. About their fwiends. Don’t they?”

“Oh, Lila here knows all kinds of famous people,” Chloe purred, causing the other girl to shoot her a betrayed look. “Perks of being the daughter of a diplomat, and all.”

Cyn made a noise. “Cool. Boring. I have decided. That I don’t care.”

“...Thanks,” Lila deadpanned.

 

A little bit away from them, the Uzi hologram was talking to Kaminari.

“...okay I’m like, genuinely impressed you put all this together just from freeze-frames,” the drone was saying. “...yes that’s a compliment, don’t read into it.”

“It’s just interesting! ” Kaminari replied. “...I kind of want to do the next episode now, but I dunno if it would be awkward for you or...”

“Well it’s gonna be real fucking weird, ” Uzi shot back, “but so what, I’m weird, I embrace it. So, you know nothing past the manor flashback stuff?”

The electricity user shook his head. “I mean, I have Theories - there’s the predictions from your edgy psychic mom, so there’s probably gonna be something about a Singularity, and then there’s the Schroedinger’s Tessa thing...”

Holo-uzi took a thinking pose. “Okay, I kinda wanna see this myself, but you lot would probably get spoilers... Oh, but there’s the cool bits I wanna see from the outside... If they’re even shown. Sure, let’s watch!”

“Sweet!” Kaminari declared, pumping his fist. “HEY GUYS!” He yelled out. “WATCH PARTY IN FIVE!”

“Nice,” Uzi grinned.

 

💀

 

“You sure that’s a good idea, Pikachu?” Bakugou deadpanned. “What with spooky stuff over here and all?”

“Bite me,” Holo-Uzi snapped. “I’m pretty sure I’ve lived through most of that stuff, and I wanna see it from the outside.”

“What ever, ” Bakugou huffed. “You do the pausing, Sparkplug, got it?”

“Got it!” Kaminari chirped, and pressed play.

 

The scene opens to a tropical beach with authentic beach sounds, before slowly zooming out to reveal it to just be a desktop background in a desolate office cubicle, lights flickering out around it.

“...What the...?” Holo-Uzi asks, eyes narrowed in thought, before her expression clears. “Ohhhhh. That place.”

“Great, another cryptic,” Bakugou deadpanned.

“...What’s going on? Who’s she?” “...And why is that one buffering?” “Am I the only one who thinks that this background music sounds familiar for some reason?”

“Wait, is that...? ”

“ Can’t be.” “What is it?” “I think it’s a robot velociraptor. ”

Mina let out a high-pitched eeeeeeeeeee sound. “Jurassic Park! That’s the horror theme for this one, it’s Jurassic Park!”

Uzi’s hologram flickered next to her. “...Horror theme?”

Mina let out a nervous laugh. “Oh! Well, I’m a huge fan of horror movies, and I noticed that each episode is structured like a horror movie! So Episode 1 was Alien with the colony breach, Episode 2 was The Thing with the, well, J Crab, Episode 3 was Carrie with the Doll plot, Episode 4 was Friday the 13th but with vampires for the, well, uh, the camp murder, Episode 5 I haven’t nailed down but there are some Shining vibes, and now Episode 6 is Jurassic Park!”

Holo-Uzi processed that. “... Huh. Well that’s pretty comprehensive, and huh, you’re right, I can draw a few parallels. Wild.”

“Oh hey, it’s the gang!”

“...Well, she certainly acts like Tessa from last episode.” “I don’t trust her.” “Denki...” “I know, but I’m telling you, I don’t trust her! ”

“...effective drones were what now?” “...I don’t like that, either.” “Bite me, J.”

“...launching straight into the plot, huh.” “I don’t trust any of it.” “Oh hi Doll.”

“...so, Doll’s the wildcard and driving force.” “The helmet. I don’t like the helmet.” “Oh come on, Pikachu, are you still on about that!” “It’s faceless! ”

“...Is it just me, or was J about to protest?” “But she didn’t. Hm. A Jless episode, then.” “I wonder why she doesn’t want J around?”

“...Okay, so we know - mostly from our gracious host - that the Solver is more than a mere sickness.” “...Did the humans manage to find a way to artificially induce the Solver?”

Kaminari pointed at Tessa’s visor, covering the entire screen. “See that? That, is what I call ominous beyond belief. Look at it!”

“...He’s right,” Mina muttered. “Look, the only points of light are Uzi’s eyes. The framing is telling me, too, that she’s not to be trusted.”

“...Yeah, that is weird,” Ochako suddenly said. “Real spacesuits have lights inside the helmet. The fact that she doesn’t... Well, either she has no lights or the glass is mirrored.”

“And the mirrored glass is an ominous choice,” Mine agreed. “The only way we see what she’s like is the body language, and right now that body language reminds me of Penny.”

“Just dive into a hole and hope one of them catches you, why don’t ya?” “Hm. Lots of debris in this hole.”

“...why would you label a secret elevator, wouldn’t that defeat the point?”

“...Whaaaaaaat the fuck.” “Are these... Disassembly Drone corpses?” “...What the fuck killed them...?”

“...of course there’d be something specifically against drones.” “Bet you it’s the raptooooors~!” “No bet.”

“...Why are you emphasizing human like that.”

“Oh look, you can’t control shit.” “... is she human?” “Pikachu, I swear to god...”

“No, think about it!” Kaminari exclaimed. “I just thought of that, she’s in a suit with a mirrored helmet! Who knows what we find under that glass!”

“And what are you expecting to find?” Harry asked.

Kaminari paused. “...Xs for eyes?”

Behind him, Holo-Uzi was suddenly blinking very rapidly.

“....Just unpause it,” Bakugou sighed.

“...does that sign point to a secret elevator? ” “...Well, these guys would apparently label it!”

“...pfft, look at V twitching at that.”

“... yeek, traps!” “...she’s so damn irreverent.”

“...Speaking of traps.” “Yup. There’s no fucking way this isn’t a fucking trap, down here. ”

Uzi stared at the pill-baby playing babyGiggle.mp3 on loop. “...Shoot the baby immediately?”

N jumped around the corner, already firing. “THAT’S NOT SOON ENOUGH!”

 

Most of the watchers burst out laughing at that one.

“...what the fuck why is it a spider-” “SO much nope in one package!”

“Another trap!” “Why are you just staring at it?”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“...can we all agree that that was dumb?” “Bite me, we were surprised.”

“...wait, really? Magnets?” “...They are robots.” “...Okay just as a thought, but do we have any magnets hanging around?” “I’d advise you not to try.” “JESUS fuck!” “He couldn’t save you if you did.” “...Message received, Penny.” “Good boy.”

“...Oh goody, they’ve started to snark at each other.”

“Whaaaaaat the fuuuuu....” “Yup. Freaky as heck.”

“...N, what are you doing?” “He did that with Memory!V too when Cyn tried to lobotomy him.” “He what? Oh, that idiot!” “I think that’s just who he is....?” “Ugh, yeah, don’t remind me.”

“...she calls magnets sedatives?” “I mean, I suppose that’s what they are...”

“Still don’t trust her.” “You’ve mentioned.”

“...Really, Uzi? You’re held prisoner by a psycho and that’s what you ask?” “Bite me!”

“...Wait, yellow eyes? The photos and flashbacks give her pink eyes?” “Gee, who do we know with yellow eyes?” “...Oooohhhhhh.”

“Oh god. Don’t like that. REALLY don’t like that!”

“What suspicious shit are you up to, Tessa?”

“...I don’t like that light.” “We’re not about to like what we see, are we?”

“And then there’s the raptors.”

“The music’s swelling. I think we’re nearly there for the Earth reveal.” “Bet you it’s horrific.” “Bet you it’s destroyed.” “It’s gonna be both, isn’t it?”

“...at least the raptors are cute.” 

“Should hit the peak any moment. I don’t like the yellow in Uzi’s eyes.”

N watches in mute horror, even as the camera finally switches to the monitor. Earth is in PIECES, a black hole where its core used to be. Tendrils of light are reaching out and grasping at MASSIVE chunks of rock, some large enough to still have what was once the curvature of the Earth. The planet is clearly incapable of supporting any kind of life.

 

Gasps echoed through the room, as the humans stared in horror at the remains of their home.

“It’s so much worse than I thought,” Izuku whispered.

“...Earth is gone,” Marinette said quietly, eyes wide. “And the exoplanets... are there even any left? ”

“No. There are not,” came a halting, mechanical voice, the humans looking, as one, at the pleased expression of Cyn. “They were all. Very delicious. Naughty giggle.”

“You cannot harm us here,” Harry said, grasping his wand. “I... There are rules, right?”

“That’s right, ” Penny said from next to Cyn, startling the other drone. “All of you are my Audience... and I would be displeased if anything happened to my Audience. ”

“If you. Say so,” Cyn said, and wandered back, their host also vanishing.

“Robo-Jesus,” Uzi muttered.

It took the group several minutes to get their breathing and/or heartbeats under control, before they could watch on.

“...Mutates in damaged AI?” “What does? The Solver? Wait, that can’t be right, our host is implying that it’s something else...” “Or she’s bending the truth?” “Keeping us confused so we can still watch without spoilers?” “...I hate how much sense that makes.”

“Wait, pause!”

The group obligingly paused as Kaminari went frame by frame again, before stopping on one. He frowned at the image of tiny Tessa, clearly alive-looking if redacted, sitting against a wall, surrounded by viscera, and humans in hazmat suits. “...hrm. Okay, this pokes a hole in my ‘she didn’t survive the Gala’ theory,” he muttered. “I’m still pretty sure that she was in the Cabin Fever cabins, but that’s... hrm.”

“...Yeah, okay, wow, no wonder Little Miss Antler hates Nori.”

“...And there’s the yellow eyes.” “And the demonic Solver symbols.” “And the Cyn extra limb stuff.” “Definitely possessed.”

“Hrm,” Mina said. “She sounds contrite, and looks contrite, but that sad look is only reflection from N’s eyes. We don’t actually see her eyes.”

“...oh so that’s what that bitch told N,” Holo-Uzi hissed.

“...What does it even do to them?” “Bootloop.” “How?” “No fucking idea. A zipbomb?”

“...this won’t end well for Antlers.”

“...So, are they gonna recognise her as a human?” “...Probably not.”

“...Okay, so when she’s covering her eyes, is it because light is blinding, or is it because of something else? ” “Like what?” “Dunno. How about not being human? ”

“...Oh shit, is that blood?”

“And that triggered a cavalcade of errors. Is that genuine human blood?”

“Okay, no, they’re flashing her and she isn’t locking up.” “ Phrasing. ”

“Oh shit. ” “...Hi, Cyn.”

“Oh fuck me running! ” “Null. That’s... that’s the black hole.”

“She’s so fucking dead.” “...Deserved?”

“....oh hey, he freed V.”

“Is she about to heroic blindfire?” “No, something else happened.”

“ Whaaaat the fuck... ” “...More flesh.” “And, you know, the Null.” “Obviously.”

“Back to N and Tess-” “Pause!”

Kaminari stared at the frame. “...That pose is familiar,” he said slowly.

“Oh god, not again,” Bakugou groaned. “Where have you seen it this time, then?”

Kaminari looked around, sweat running from his brow. “...In Episode 5. When Cyn was talking to N.”

There was a disconcerted pause at that.

“...Let’s table that discussion for now.” “Oh come on! I’ve been right every other time!” “That’s why we’re tabling that discussion for now.”

“Oh, nice, now V is suspicious.”

“...she only bled that little?” “Hm.”

“...what an entirely unsuspicious statement.” “Really?” “No. Sarcasm.” 

“...You know, I think an Uzi hug would actually feel kind of nice.” “Bite me.”

“...okay but that reflective visor is really good framing. ”

“Aaaaand now those are back.” “I like the faint music in the background.”

“...Hold still?” “Hang on, that smiley face had Xs for eyes!” “Don’t start, Pikachu.”

“...So why isn’t she shooting?” “Not sure.”

“Oh look, Doll got bootlooped.” “Yeah, sure. This has a trap written all over it.”

“Ah, shit, they’re afraid of the Null,” Uzi realized. “Thaaaat makes more sense.”

“ Oh my god they’re holding hands... ” “Shut up! It’s embarrassing! Don’t look!”

“ So freaking adorable... ” “ Bite me! ”

“...Show of hands, who saw that coming?” “We all did.”

“...so she took the express route down, and left all the others to face the Sentinels?” “Stone. Cold. Psycho.”

“...and they’re on the wrong side of the elevator, too.”

“God, Tessa, why are you so fucking weird?”

“Guys, I don’t think that’s real human blood.” “Goddammit, Pikachu.”

“Welp, another Null.”

“That’s not how blood works!”

“...did that thing just fucking shoot them with a severed arm?”

“ HOLY FUCKING SHIT, V! ” “Oh my god that was badass as fuck. ” “So manly...!”

“...V with glasses is something else. ” “Wait, does that mean she has bad vision as a Disassembly Drone, too?”

“ ohgodwhat ” “...Hi, Cyn?”

“...swordfighting a robot velociraptor is so fucking awesome, you guys! ” “Hell yeah it is!” “Fuck, I’m rooting for V now. Is that all it takes?” “Yes, because consider: That’s fucking awesome. ”

“...oh shit, she’s in trouble.” “Oh shit, her glasses are broken, she’s in lots of trouble.”

“...Oh no, she’s about to do a Heroic Sacrifice, isn’t she?” “...She’ll live tho.” “You sure?” “What year did V die and reincarnate into a Potter again?” “Fuck, you’re right.”

“Aw, fuck, now I’m sad.”

“And a fucking salute too, fuck... ”

“This song... That’s the song!” “What song?” “I mean the tune! The one Tonks!Uzi sang the Hogwarts song to!”

“Fuck,” Kyouka muttered. “That... that’s a gut punch.”

“Eternal Dream,” Holo-Uzi said quietly. “Us worker Drones can hear the background music sometimes. That’s a... good song.”

 

💀

 

“So, I take it you’re done with your emotional gutpunch?” Penny asked lightly. “We can have a chapter on top of it, too. Should be a little lighter.”

“Will it,” Harry snarked. “Will it really?”

“Oh yes,” Penny attested. “There are some points in there that you might quite like, after all.”

“Great, more similarities with V,” Harry groused, even as Penny snapped her fingers and the world changed around them.

 

Morning found crowds of sleepy Hogwarts students at their tables, absentmindedly eating breakfast as the Heads of Houses passed out schedules. 

“Here you go, miss Potter,” a plump, earthy witch said, passing V a parchment. V looked at it.

 

“Oh, I wonder what the Hufflepuff timetable looks like,” Hermione enthused.

 

The timetable seemed sparse, honestly, but that was likely to be a normal first-year courseload. The first lessons seemed to be flying classes, that V figured was likely to be the wixen idea of physical exercise. After that, lunch, a free period, and then Transfiguration. Also, Astronomy on midnight, apparently. 

 

Harry’s head snapped up. “Wait. Flying straight off the bat? ”

“Told you you’d like it,” Penny purred.

 

V looked closer. Some classes had little house crests next to them... 

“Yeah, some classes are doubled up with the other houses,” Uzi said, shamelessly leaning over V's shoulder. “Very Gryffindor-heavy, your year. I see you have your Potions with the Ravens though, which means that Teach paired up the Gryffindors and Slytherins again. That's got to be masochism, he does that every year...”

 

“...Can we see the first-year timetable?” Hermione asked curiously.

“Sure,” Penny replied. “I have the one I mocked up for each year, one moment...”

The images swirled a little, before settling on a timetable.

 

Hufflepuff	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday
7:15-9:30AM	Breakfast
9:00-10:15AM	Flying	---	Herbology	Charms	Charms
10:20-11:35AM	Flying	Herbology	---	DADA	History of Magic
11:35AM-13:00PM	Lunch
13:00-14:15PM	—	DADA	Potions	History of Magic
14:20-15:35PM	Transfiguration	Transfiguration	Potions	Herbology
15:35-18:00PM	Free time
18:00-19:00PM	Dinner
19:30-21:30PM	Free time
21:30-11:45PM	Common Rooms and Dorms Only
11:45PM-1:00AM	Astronomy	—

 

Hermione blinked at it. “That’s... sparse.” 

“First year is supposed to be sparse,” Penny replied. “It gets busier and busier each year, you know.”

“So many free periods,” Ron whispered. “Why didn’t we get those?”

“Because your creator is a cunt,” Penny replied curtly, ignoring gasps around her.

 

“...what?” was V's eloquent reply. “More to the point, why the fuck are you here, bothering me?” 

“If we're being technical, you're family,” Uzi replied, grabbing a piece of toast and spreading jam on it. “In this life, that is.” 

“...How do you figure?” V replied, squinting at the upperclassman. 

 

Harry paused. “Wait, what? I have... family? Living family?”

“It’s complicated,” Penny muttered. “Let the story explain this one, yeah?”

 

“Well, Blacks and Potters are old Pureblood families, and those are all related,” Uzi replied idly, in between bites of her toast. “Your father, James Potter, was blood-brothers with your murderous godfather, Sirius Black. Sirius had three cousins, known as The Black Sisters. The eldest of them is my mother. The middle child is Doll's mother. And the youngest is childless and in prison. So basically we're cousins.”

 

“...She’s Sirius’ cousin?” Harry whispered.

 

V blinked several times, assimilating the information. “...Did they have names?” 

Uzi shrugged, gulping down the last of her toast. “It's complicated. Look, we both have a free period after lunch, I'll look you up and explain properly. See ya!” 

“See ya,” V murmured, in thought. Family. 

What an odd concept. 

Wait, did that mean she was related to Uzi?!

 

“ Hey! ” Holo-uzi exclaimed. “Bite me!”

“We can’t, you’re a hologram,” Harry snarked.

 

Flying Lesson found all the first-year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws gathered on the courtyard, already forming into cliques. On the Hufflepuff side, there was Abbott and Leanne with Jones and someone who was probably a Ravenclaw, Granger and Bones, three posh-looking boys trying to out-posh each other, and finally V and roN. 

On the Ravenclaw side were the Ravenclaws.

 

Harry let out an involuntary snort.

 

And then there was the teacher, a hawkish woman with piercing eyes and a whistle hanging from her neck. “I am Madam Hooch,” she said. “You will address me as either Madam, Madam Hooch, or Ma'am. Understood?” 

The students all nodded. The teacher looked satisfied. “Good. Now, I don't know if you've noticed, but there are broomsticks on the ground. Pick one and stand next to it, but do not pick it up physically, understand? Go.” 

 

“What’s that for?” Adrien asked curiously.

“Broom acclimatization,” Harry replied.

 

The students scrambled themselves next to the brooms, the cliques making sure to stay together. Madam Hooch surveyed them. 

“Good,” she barked. “Now, put your dominant hand over the broom - switch sides if you have to - and with a firm command, say ‘Up!’”

 

“...Like with a horse?” Chloe asked, suddenly sounding a little interested.

“A little, yeah,” Harry replied, wary of the girl.

 

“Up!” V commanded, the broom smacking into her palm with a satisfying thwack. She looked around. 

...Hm.

Only three students had the brooms firmly in their hands - herself, roN, and Granger. Or rather, the only three former Disassembly Drones present. The rest of the students were still coaxing their brooms off the ground - Bones looked especially put off at her broom, still hovering midway. 

 

Harry and Ron both blinked. “That’s new,” Ron said.

“Imagine a world where we got Hermione to play Quidditch,” Harry mused. Both boys turned towards their friend, puppy-dog eyes at full blast.

“No,” Hermione groaned. “Just... no.”

 

“Potter, Granger, Weasley,” madam Hooch barked. “Well done, three points to Hufflepuff. The rest of you, it's not just about being firm, it's also about your emotions. A broom is a little like a horse, they can sense your fear. Take deep breaths, push that fear away, and try again!” 

“Did we just get the first points for Hufflepuff?” roN whispered, sounding giddy. 

 

“Hrm,” Hermione said. The boys weren’t sure if it was a positive or a negative noise.

 

An upperclassman might have gotten there first, V thought, but she didn’t say it, instead just shrugging. “Potentially,” she said, and was promptly smothered into an N hug. Ah, that was nice. 

 

“ Awwwwww, ” Mina cooed.

 

“UP!” the class roared, and there was a scattering of broomsticks jumping into hands. Oh right, class. 

V reluctantly extricated herself from the hug and looked over to the teacher. Now what?

“Now, with your broomstick firmly in your grip, I want you to mount it,” madam Hooch instructed. “Like a horse or a bicycle for those of you familiar with either, and no, I don’t mean side-saddle.”

“But ma’am...” a Ravenclaw began.

 

“There are side-saddle brooms,” Ginny said, “but frankly, they suck.”

 

“No,” madam Hooch shot back. “These brooms aren’t built for side-saddle. You’ll slip off and end up in the Hospital Wing.” The Ravenclaw visibly drooped.

Shrugging, V mounted the broom. She could feel its anticipation, but didn’t kick off. roN and Granger looked much the same, if she was honest.

 

“Hermione, flying,” Ron muttered in disbelief. “Mental.”

 

Madam Hooch went alongside the rows, checking everyone’s grips and adjusting on occasion, before stepping back and mounting her own broom. “Right. We’re taking off in increments. Potter, Granger, Weasley, since I can feel you lot itching to go from here, you go first. Kick off gently, steer with minute movements. If you feel like you can’t handle it, come back immediately. Understand?” The three of them nodded. “Then go!”

V kicked off.

 

Harry, Ginny, Ron, and the Twins all sighed in quiet happiness at the feeling they knew they’d be seeing in a moment.

 

And now she was in the skies, and at once she remembered the freedom of flight. She flew across the courtyard, low but at a decent clip, subconsciously mimicking her old hunting patterns. The playful figure of N soared above her, not doing any hunting stuff and simply enjoying being in the air like he always was, and J cut right above him, precise and determined as always.

 

“Oh,” Harry whispered.

 

V blinked, and N and J resolved back into roN and Granger, not Disassembly Drones but human children, their flying a little more clumsy than she was used to, but still evidently recalling some old, buried instincts. The three of them braked and turned, speeding back to and above the class, simply hanging in the air for a moment in a formation V thought of as nostalgic, before drifting down at Madam Hooch.

“Do we have to come back to the ground immediately?” V asked. 

 

“...Much calmer than our original flying lesson,” Ron admitted. 

“...V’s not gonna be youngest Seeker, is she?” Harry deadpanned.

 

The teacher looked at them. “No, I think you three can help the others. In fact, you’re welcome to join the Flying Club - we meet on Saturday mornings and use the school brooms, so everyone’s at an equal spot.”

V grinned. “Oh, definitely. ”

“You don’t speak for me, Potter,” Granger snapped. “...but yes, i’d like to.”

“I love doing anything!” was roN’s contribution.

 

“...There’s a Flying Club?” Harry asked, eyes wide.

“They mostly do flying tricks,” Fred or George said. “It’s cool, but it’s no Quidditch.”

 

The rest of the lesson passed in just, flying, having fun, and V doing a Cobra to Granger just to see if she could. That of course made Granger yell at her, but it was still worth it.

 

Harry tilted his head. “A what?”

“A Pugachev’s Cobra,” Penny said. “A rapid deceleration trick used by jet planes during a dogfight. I suppose you can pull it off with a broom, but I don’t see why you would.”

“Why’s it called a Cobra?” Ron asked.

“The plane’s fuselage tilts up like a rearing cobra,” Penny replied. “It’s wicked fun, as long as you don’t mind the Gs.”

“Huh,” Ron said. “Neat.”

 

V was just finishing up lunch when she was quite literally picked up by a purple gremlin and carried away in the middle of a bite. “What the fuck, put me down you menace,” was her contribution to the indignity. 

 

Holo-Uzi snorted. “Holy shit. I’m tall. ”

“...and, evidently, a menace,” Harry snarked.

 

“Lunch is over,” Uzi replied, completely unconcerned. “Your next lesson is in eighty minutes, and we have a lot of exposition to cover. Besides, I think you’re gonna love this place.”

“...Can you at least put me down? ” V asked plaintively.

“Nope!”

“...I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

 

Uzi was still snickering.

 

Well, V might have been inclined to argue with that, but it would have been an empty one and she knew it. Uzi might be a... pain in the ass, but she wasn’t that bad. Not after everything. So she shut up and watched as Uzi was pacing back and forth before a wall.

 

The Twins leaned forwards, heads tilted. That... did not look like a room they’d ever discovered.

 

Once, twice, three times...

And a door opened up in a wall. That looked like... a very familiar door, for some reason. Only now did Uzi put her down. “Go on,” she said, grinning. “Try it.”

 

“...Try what?” Momo asked, head tilted.

 

V looked at her in suspicion. “Why would I- ” She paused. Surely not?

She stepped forward and waved her hand at the doorknob, and the door slid open.

That...

That wasn’t possible.

 

“...Magic can do these things, easy,” Ron said, blinking. “Why wouldn’t it be possible?”

 

Somehow, in the middle of an ancient castle in Scotland, over a thousand years before it was supposed to exist, was a perfect recreation of the apartment she’d once shared with the entire gang - N, Uzi, Lizzy, Sparky, Thad, even Khan Doorman...

 

“...Oh,” Ron said.

 

“It’s a copy,” Uzi said, now sounding a bit sad herself. “Reconstructed perfectly from my memories. None of the computers work, but the feel is there.”

They both stepped in, Uzi acting careless but nostalgic, and V expecting everything to fall apart into nothingness as she looked around, the door sliding shut behind them.

 

“...Hogwarts can do that?!” Harry asked in wonder.

“The Room of Requirement is a wonderfully OP place,” Penny said softly.

 

Uzi collapsed into a chair, looking a bit drained. “So,” she began. “Reincarnation.”

“Did you do this?” V asked outright.

 

Several eyes found Holo-Uzi. She just shrugged.

 

The former drone turned human shook her head. “Nah. Kinda beyond even me. No idea why, but people and drones from our time are sometimes just reincarnating into this time, as wixen. Remember that antlered drone from the Cabin Fever labs? She’s my aunt now. Remember those cores she had in an oven? I’ve seen a few of those in Diagon Alley. As people, I mean.”

 

“...hm,” Harry said.

“...How many reincarnations are likely to show up?” Izuku asked.

“Quite a few,” Penny replied.

 

“Freaky,” V offered. “So, uh... why do only the two of us remember? And Thad? Does Thad remember? He’s familiar enough with you, but I don’t know if it’s just Thad being Thad or...”

Uzi made a face. “Yeah, so it’s near-death experiences.”

... Huh?

 

“...yeah, Penny did say something along those lines, didn’t she?” Kaminari realized.

“Yup,” Ron muttered. “They’ll all remember by the end of our first year, calling it here.”

 

The expression must have been written on her face, because the other former drone rolled her eyes and clarified. “If you’re close enough to something deadly, or almost die, or shit like that, you touch into a past life. Not everyone has one, though, so oftentimes they just regular die. But, you know, if you happen to be a drone who knows all about other drones in a drone colony, you can pick out reincarnates pretty easily.”

 

“...Makes sense,” Harry allowed.

 

V digested that information. “And I... qualify?”

“You’re the Girl Who Fucking Lived,” Uzi deadpanned. “Nobody’s sure what happened to you in that cottage that Halloween night, but given how bloody trigger-happy your Dark Lord nemesis was with the Killing Curses, you probably qualify several times over.”

 

“...that explains that,” Harry muttered.

 

Oh. Huh. Wait... “And how do you qualify?”

At that, Uzi looked embarrassed. “Yeah, so... this body used to be kinda clumsy as fuck before I woke up. I may have tripped off the moving stairs two years ago. Was up pretty high too, broke both of my legs. Spent two weeks regrowing bones in the Hospital Wing, memories came in during that time. Old me was apparently friends with Thad, so I confided to him.”

 

There were several blinks at that. “...She just fell off the staircase?” Hermione asked incredulously. “Wait, I thought the stairs had protective enchantments against that?”

“That would be logical,” Fred or George said as the Twins dropped down to a beanbag next to her.

“Wizards,” George or Fred continued, “aren’t logical.”

“ Typical, ” Hermione muttered viciously.

 

V considered that. “And you put all that together from that one experience?”

Uzi snorted. “What, are you kidding? No, I needed more datapoints, so I ‘accidentally’ pushed my dad into traffic that summer.”

 

“She what?! ” Harry demanded incredulously.

 

V stopped and stared in mild horror. “...you what?”

 

“Dammit, V, stop thinking like me,” Harry muttered.

 

Uzi frowned at her. “Look, I was pretty sure he was my dad anyway. Khan isn’t a very common name in the Muggle world, you know.”

“And you’re the one who kept denying that you weren’t a murder drone,” V deadpanned. “So much for that.”

 

“If even V is saying that you’re fucked,” Bakugou deadpanned, “Then you’re fucked.”

“Bite me,” Holo-Uzi deadpanned.

 

Uzi crossed her arms. “Bite me, it worked. And hey, Mom is Mom, so he’s happy enough to not go full door-crazy again.”

“Did you try to kill her too?” V asked mildly. 

Uzi hmphed. “Dad won’t let me.

 

“ Really!? ” Kyouka demanded.

 

But hey, if you want your boyfriend to remember-”

“We’re not almost-killing roN,” V replied, glaring at the menace.

 

“You better not,” the Twins growled.

 

Uzi sighed, slumping. “I figured. You deserve some happiness too, you know. I suppose you can have him as is.”

 

“Wait, she’s letting him go!?” Holo-Uzi demanded. “Why??”

“Because Tonks is seventeen,” Penny said, “And V and roN are both eleven.”

“...Ah,” Holo-Uzi said. “Good point.”

 

“I could push Granger down the stairs though,” V suggested.

 

“ Try it, ” Harry and Ron hissed, leaving Hermione blinking at them, looking pleased.

 

“That was a suggestion in jest anyway,” Uzi replied, glaring at the ceiling. “They frown at attempted murder here, you know. Not even Violet Potter could talk her way out of this one.”

V shuddered minutely. “Yeahhhh, I still don’t like that name. Stick to V.”

 

“Yeah, I suppose she doesn’t really look like a Violet, does she,” Harry mused.

 

“Fair enough,” Uzi replied, stretching. “Right, we got done talking earlier than I expected... Anything else you wanna talk about, or can we just snooze until you have Transfiguration?”

V thought about it. “Snooze until Transfiguration.”

Uzi grinned. “Great! Room, an alarm at, say, five past two please.”

An alarm clock appeared out of nowhere. Uzi let out a satisfied noise. “Magic fucking rules.”

 

“Agreed,” Harry said vehemently.

 

As V curled up, Uzi poked her on the nose. “Oh, by the way, almost forgot. Professor McGonagall sometimes leaves her cat in the classroom. Don’t forget to give her some scritchies behind the ears, yeah?”

“Will do,” V yawned.

 

The entire wizarding contingent froze. “...is she trying to put Hufflepuff’s points into the negatives?!” Hermione shrieked.

“She’s dead,” Ginny whispered. “So’s all of Hufflepuff.”

“What’s wrong?” Adrien asked. “Is Professor McGonagall very protective of her cat?”

“No,” Ron moaned in terror. “She is the cat.”

“...Oh,” Adrien said in realization. “...But, V’s a first-year, right? She’ll be shown leniency, right?”

Several people looked over to their host, who snickered. “Don’t worry about her,” she said. “It’ll be something to laugh over, later.” She snapped her fingers, and the world faded back in. “One more of V, and then we’ll go back over to the Quirk world, I think.”

“Am I cool there, too?” Holo-Uzi asked.

Penny shrugged. “So-so. Depends on what you consider cool.”

“Fair enough.”

Notes:

Fun fact, I make a tiny spreadsheet for every year's timetable.

Chapter 11: MD7, VP8 - The Feline Professor

Summary:

The cast watches Episode 7, and Chapter 8. A new host takes over partway through.

As their host wandered away, the watchers exchanged glances. “Is anyone else getting ominous vibes all of a sudden or is it just me?” Mina asked. 

“It's just you,” Kyoka deadpanned. “Right, how about a watch party?” 

“Ominous. Giggle.”

“...okay yeah now the vibes are there,” Kyoka acknowledged. “What's going on, creep?” 

Cyn smiled at them. “Everything. And nothing. Mostly good memories. That's all.”

“...Great,” Mina muttered. 

“Tch. Let's just get on with it,” Bakugo grumped. 

 

💀

 

The episode opens in a literal bolt of lighting, as a thunderstorm gathers around an underground cathedral.

“ Revelry in the dark, ” Tokoyami whispers, clearly awed.

“...Sentinels?” “Have they been chained up all this time?” “Poor things.”

“Humans!” “Oh cool, a Flashback!” “...are all humans this Extra?” “...Okay, what horror movies take place in a church...?” “Really, Mina?”

“...Whaaat the fuck.”

“Fuck. It’s Mom. I remember this footage.” “Does it end well?” “Bite me.”

“Cyn what the fuck.” “Good. Memories.”

“Oh no. ”

“ Oh no this poor intern ”

“Oh fuck me running.” “...Those things are halfway out of phase, aren’t they?” “Or straight up fucking demonic.”

“ Why are future humans this Extra?! ”

“Oh cool, we get to see Yeva!” “...why is the USB in a cross?” “Why are all future humans so fucking extra?”

“...everything is so extra.”

“...Are they being kept in lockers? ” “Is she just playing Tetris?! ”

“...why am I getting Ship Vibes from them?” “Oh god Mina don’t even start”

“Hang on, why are the chains waving in the wind?” “The Sentinels are loose.” “The wind can’t be that heavy.” “...You might be on to something.”

“...He sensed something wrong too, didn’t he?”

Kaminari poked at Holo-Uzi, who made a face at him. “What do you want?”

“...The holograms can be very lifelike,” he muttered. “I don’t think this is what’s happening.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Pikachu.”

“Fuck. I was right, this isn’t the real scene.” “You are. A very clever. Little human. :)”

“ Fuck me that’s terrifying. ”

“...Whoooo the fuck is that.” “Pink Solver. Solver corresponds to eye color.” “Not always? Doll had orange eyes and a red Solver.” “Wait really? Shit. Anyway, Nori had pink eyes, so maybe it’s Nori and she somehow survived?” “And how do you expect that to have happened?” “Dunno yet.”

“...Oh. That’s... a Solver Core. Like the ones Alice had in the oven.” “...that’d do it.”

“...And here’s our incoming gang. Was the family reunion awkward?” “Fuck off.”

“...Well, his reaction makes sense, I suppose?”

“...what the fuck is she bleeding?” “Yeah turns out that Solver overuse is *rough* when you haven’t eaten enough, who knew?” “...sorry.”

“Well, she’s still sus.” “You can say that again.” “...Anything you want to share?” “Hell no.”

“...so that’s why, this makes so much more sense now.” “Yeah, that was not the right thing to say, N.”

“That tracks.”

“Oh, what’s happening on the surface?”

“So the secret friend is definitely V, right?” “No shit.”

“...Why is the gravity futzing about?”

“...And what’s J doing?”

“Oh this is so much worse than our cave-in.” “...When were you in a cave-in, Ronniekins?” “The Chamber.” “Oh. Right. That.”

“N, why.” “Like hell do you deserve it!”

“...Nope. Nope nope nope.”

“Oh god that is so much worse.” “Correct reaction, N!”

“Oh cool, a fun message board.” 

Kaminari paused just so that he could read the posters. “...Damn,” he deadpanned. “Not even the labs know why the church was there?” 

“Why did you focus on that part?” “Dunno. Less obvious.” “Why. Aren’t. You. Using. These. Powers. Of. Observation. In. Class. Kaminari.” “Sorry?”

“...of course the failsafe USB has 606 in its name.”

“...why is that lantern still burning? How long has it been burning?” “Maybe Nori’s been lighting the place up?”

“Hi, Trauma-V!”

“...What did she say?”

“Ohhhhh we’re not gonna like this new flashback, are we.”

The camera pans away from N, in full Disassebly Drone mode, dropping a now-headless corpse as he looks up at the NULL-graced sky. Other Disassembly Drones, V amongst them, swoop down and tear into human flesh with glee, before shielding themselves from gunfire. An Apache helicopter is briefly seen in the sky, before it’s speared by an enormous tendril and dragged offscreen.

The audience watched in muted horror.

“...They were never made to hunt down drones, were they?” Momo asked quietly. “They were made to kill humanity.”

Cyn grins from where she’s still next to a very pale Lila. “That is. Correct. Smiley Face.”

“Planet killers. Exterminate the life on top, so that there is no one to stop the planet eater.” “Also correct. You are. Very Clever :)”

“...he’s gonna live, right?” “God I hope so.”

“Okay, how the fuck is there a storm underground? ” “At this point I’m gonna say straight up fucking magic.”

“Oh god, a flesh hole.” “And not the fun kind.” “ Mineta! ”

“...I do like how she skitters around on wing and foot like a demented vampire goblin, it’s adorable.” “ Bite me! ”

“Aaaaaaand we’re cutting back to N, joy.” “At least he’s having fun.” “You call this fun? ”

“...oh my god that’s definitely Nori.” “Oh my god she’s like a worse Uzi.”

“ N I swear- ”

“...Did N kill Nori the first time?” “...Oh god I hadn’t thought of that.”

“And confirmation, though we already knew that.”

“Back to the surface!”

“Wh-” “Khan, what are you doing?”

“...Is that my sick as hell railgun? I wondered how they got a new one! Wait. My freaking dad made a new one? What the hell?”

“...and why is he so nonchalant about the planet’s failing gravity?”

“What the fuck, dad.” “Honestly, same.”

“...Tessa detected. Suspicious.”

“Is future captcha literally a fingerprint scanner?” “I mean, drones don’t have fingerprints.” “Does Tessa?”

“...Well, she at least has a hand with a fingerprint.” “Why are you so suspicious anyway?” “Something just ain’t right about this, that’s all I’m saying!”

“...Okay, so she got all the information, and went on to destroy the computer? You might be on to something, that’s sus.”

“And here comes Doll.” “I’d wondered where she was.”

“Cutting your feed. Yep, you’re definitely not supposed to be here, Tessa... if that’s who you really are.”

“...where the fuck did she go.” “The teleportation is Doll’s move. Does... does she have a Solver?” “Definitely not Tessa, then.”

“Incoming jumpscare!” “Thanks, Mina.”

Kaminari paused as Doll’s POV took over the screen. “ERROR: absoluteSolver_trn,” he read viciously, grinning like a madman. “ like.object non-interactive. I fucking knew it! This isn’t a human! I bet you anything-”

He pressed play, gripping the remote tightly, and expertly paused it mid-jumpscare. 

All faces rapidly drained of color as they took in the distorted frame. 

“That...” Kaminari swallowed. “Okay, I’m not sure what that is, but it’s not human.”

“...And now we’re back to the flashback?”

“Oh shit, Yeva clutched it!” “WHOO!”

“Aww.” “Oh shit, a Null!”

“...Null go in the hole?” “...guys, how deep do you think that hole is?” “Uh oh.”

“ Oh. ”

“So... Nori blew up the planet.” “Holy shit.” “...RIP Mitchell the Intern?”

“...oh shit.” “Well. Doll got jumped, so...?” “Oh dear.”

Gazes turned towards the two drones, Cyn kicking back and grinning, Uzi making a face.

“...Ah.”

“Wh... is that Doll?” “She’s still alive?” “Keyword being ‘still’ here.”

“Oh god, you can see her ribs... ”

“Oh. Hi, Fake Tessa.” “Really?” “I’ve been telling you guys, she ain’t right. And we saw that thing that FNAF jumpscared Doll. I’m just saying. Fake. ”

“...Aww.” “What a puppy.”

“Snrk. Like mother like daughter.” “Bite me!” “She is. Not wrong. You both make for. Excellent Hosts.” “You bite it too!”

“...Normal humans aren’t this strong.” “Yet another point to Pikachu’s conspiracy board.” “Hey!”

“...Like. Object. Non-Interactive. She’s definitely a Solver host.” “... can humans use the Solver? I mean, doesn’t V have a Solver scar?” “...stilll suspicious as fuck!”

“...N?!” “...holy shit, hardcore.”

“...Did. Did he just...?” “...Well, he did say one chance.... ”

“Holy fucking shit.” “Well, Denki, we’ll find out if you’re right when she stands back up after that! ” “aUGH, Mina why- ”

“...it’s definitely blood.”

“...We aren’t being shown her face.” “Uh oh.”

“...Fucking knew it.”

“what do you mean your backups will forgive me ”

“ what the fuck is this nonsense- ” “What the hell, Mom, you call that a one-liner?!” “...really?”

“Dammit, N, why are you holding back!?” “Because he can’t bring himself to hurt her?” “God damn it.”

“Whoo, go Nori!” “...You do realize you’re cheering on my mom to beat me up, right?” “...Uhhhhhhh....”

“...Oh fuck me running.”

“...That’s actually really cinematic if you ignore how scary that is.”

“...wait why is she doing that-” “Playing on N’s emotions.” “Bitch.”

“Oh come on, and the flicker to purple to vindicate him?!”

“...” “...” “...” “...God damn it, N.”

“...Bitchslap to sanity?” “Dammit, Nori.”

“Pfft. Go Uzi!” “Bite me! I didn’t know! ”

“Two screaming dorks. All is well.” “Well, I mean...” “ Don’t start.”

“Aw, a hug!” “Oh, an ominous tone!” “Goddammit.”

“...” “Mina, why. ” “Look, I know horror movie tropes!”

“Oh god. She put her head back on. This’ll end well.”

“...oh god, she took the suit off.” “Oh god, we’re about to get a reveal.” “...Denki, put that bottle of champagne down, where did you even get that?”

“oh god, what is that...”

“Oh gods, the tension...”

“...what are we seeing, exactly?”

“Cyn. That... that is Cyn.” 

“What the fuck , are those hands on top of other hands?”

“Oh, god. That... That is Tessa.” 

The Cyn-Tessa hybrid THING slowly rises, turning her head towards the camera. Skin stretched ON TOP of a drone frame, symbols flickering in her eyes before projecting two solid yellow Xs, even as she speaks. “Oh yes. Get snuck upon.”

Kaminari paused the episode, marched to the screen and jabbed his finger at the image. “What are those?” he asked, giving the class an unhinged grin.

“...Xs for eyes?” Mina asked slowly.

The boy took a deep breath and let it out. Another deep breath and... “VINDICATION!!!” he yelled, pumping his fist. “I told you! I told you she was fucking dead! I told you she wasn’t human, that she was a Solver host, I fucking said that she didn’t survive that damn Gala! ”

“...Did you get replaced by fucking Toga when we weren’t looking?” Bakugou demanded.

“...Well done,” Holo-Uzi said, looking genuinely impressed.

“I’m so fucking happy I was right,” Kaminari grinned as he sat back down, staring at the screen. His smile slid right off. “...Oh, god, I was right about everything. Fuck.”

Silently, Harry pat him on the shoulder, even as he pressed play again.

“...Oh fuck, she’s fast. ”

“...Whaaaaat the fuck is happening.”

“...Do you... Do you think J knows?” “...I don’t know.”

“Oh hell yes, the sick as hell railgun!” “Hah, prior hazard. She knows what it’s about!”

“Aw, you give him the keys. Adorable. ” “Bite me.”

“Pft, die mad.”

“...so is she gonna survive that, or...?” “All we know at this point is that V survives it.” “No, she mentioned ‘the gang’ last chapter, there might be more.” “We don’t know the timeframe to that, though.” “Fair.”

“Gotta be cool as you fall to the planet’s core, huh.”

“...what.”

“ What. ”

“She’s... in space? ” “Wh- that’s it? It ends there?! ”

“...one hell of an episode.”

 

💀

 

“...So,” Izuku began hesitantly, looking around. “Are we going to go straight for the next episode, or...?”

“Nope!”

Heads turned at the unfamiliar voice. Well, almost unfamiliar voice.

What walked into the room certainly looked a little like Penny, what with being a Disassembly Drone and all, but they were dressed in... a very familiar dress.

Kaminari stiffened, eyes wide. Uzi blinked several times over. Even Cyn looked dumbfounded.

“Hey there,” said what was clearly Tessa in drone form, grinning. “Your host is doing, I dunno, fuck all. So, for at least this following chapter, I’ll be your temporary replacement Host!”

“...are you... real? ” Izuku asked carefully.

The Tessa shrugged. “Real enough. I have access to the commands, at any rate.”

“...Commands,” Harry said carefully.

The drone brightened. “Oh yeah. Check this out: 

• IMPORT [NULL.DIVINE] :: AccessGranted[?]
•  
• BIND reality.thread:MAIN TO /channel/VOID
• ASSERT world.state == ≠stable
•  
• ritual.begin {
•     target: WORLD,
•     mode: READING,
•     overseer: ∅
• }”

The [NULL] in the sky glitched for a moment, before the world slowly faded out, golden text scrolling down the sky.

• >> [MEMORY LEAK DETECTED]
•  
• // Offering —
• DEALLOCATE(dreams, hopes, names)
• core.scream(" █████ text consumes flesh █████ ")
•  
• // Execute —
• ∅.absorb(THREAD_MAIN)
• ∅.overwrite( perception.stream )
•  
• >>> TRANSITION COMPLETE :: world.now == READING_MODE

...before the chapter faded in fully, leaving Tessa blinking sheepishly at it. “Whoopsies.” She looked aside for a moment. “This command brought to you by ChatGPT.”

“By what?”

“Nothing!”

 

When V walked into the Transfiguration classroom five minutes before the bell, rubbing sleep from her eyes, she found a concerned roN, an irritated Granger, the rest of the Hufflepuffs, and a cat sitting on the desk. 

 

“...oh no, I’d forgotten, ” Ron groaned. “She’s still dead...”

 

Remembering Uzi's words, V made a beeline for the cat, brushing off Granger's waspish “and where have you been?” and proceeded to give the kitty a well-applied scratch behind the ears. 

 

The wizards stared in muted horror. Tessa snickered. “Sorry,” she said, not sounding all that sorry. “It’s just... a really hilarious image.”

“Even when you know that that’s Professor McGonagall?! ” Hermione demanded.

“ Especially so,” Tessa replied.

 

“I was with Tonks,” she told roN. “Turns out we're family or something.” 

At that point, the bell rang, and V returned to the desks, sitting down where roN had been keeping a seat for her. 

There was no sign of Professor McGonagall for a few moments.

 

“Here it comes...” Hermione muttered.

 

Only the cat, who shook her head as if clearing it, before something awful happened. 

The cat turned into professor McGonagall. V froze in horror. 

 

“Oh,” Adrien said weakly as the wizards... looked pretty much like V, to be honest.

 

She could vaguely hear jaws dropping around her, but her mind was fixated on two details: ‘Oh no, I just gave a professor scritchies’ and ‘I'm going to fucking kill that purple asshole’. 

 

“...Valid,” Kaminari managed. Holo-Uzi gave him a glare, before acquiescing.

 

“Miss Potter,” Professor McGonagall began. Shaking like a leaf, V met the professor's gaze. The woman's lips were pressed very thin. 

“The next time you see miss Tonks, please inform her that she has detention with me.”

 

The wizards, collectively, breathed a sigh of relief.

 

V breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes, professor.” 

 

“...shut up, V,” Harry muttered.

 

She spent most of the lesson getting her breathing back on track, only focusing on trying to transfigure the matchstick into a needle, succeeding right after Granger. Granted, her needle was less of a sewing needle and more of a syringe, but they both got a point from professor McGonagall nonetheless. 

 

“...that’s surprisingly not that bad,” Hermione said, blinking.

 

Of course, there was the end of the lesson... 

“Miss Potter, a word.” 

 

“And there it is,” Ginny deadpanned.

 

“Specifically, a word of advice,” professor McGonagall continued. “You'll see many cats in Hogwarts, I suspect.” 

...oh no. 

 

“...Oh no,” Harry echoed.

 

“However,” professor McGonagall continued, even as most of the rest of the class filed out - roN lingered by the door - “It is inadvisable to pet them all. Many are familiars, who might not take it kindly, and some could be a Professor.” 

“Sorry, Professor,” V muttered, cheeks flaming. 

Professor McGonagall's expression turned into a small, rare grin. “One point to Hufflepuff for excellent scritchies. Don't do it again.” 

 

There were a number of blinks at that. “...Really, Professor?” Harry asked weakly.

 

V looked up at her in horror. “Yes, Professor,” she squeaked, raced to her desk, gathered her bag, and fled. 

 

“...I think she’s the first person to have done this in all our years at Hogwarts,” one of the Twins mused. “That’s gotta be some kind of record.”

 

The afternoon found roN patting an inconsolable V on the back as she stared into nothingness.

 

“...Poor thing,” Hermione muttered.

 

She was only vaguely aware of the world around her, not even reacting to Tonks plopping onto a sofa before her. 

“So what's wrong with Ickle V?” she asked. 

“You have a detention with professor McGonagall,” roN informed her, frowning at the older student. “That really wasn't nice, doing that to V.” 

Uzi blinked, thinking for a moment. “Doing wh-” She choked. “...No way, she actually did that?” 

 

“...you didn’t expect her to?” Momo demanded incredulously.

“You think I normally expect V to do things I tell her?” Holo-Uzi deadpanned.

...Honestly, that was. Fair.

 

“I'm never living that down,” V whispered. “I wanted to become just like her...” 

“You're halfway there already,” Tonks pointed out. “Oh fine, I deserve it, but you're gonna be a legend in your year anyway.”

 

“...Fair enough.”

 

She looked around. “Aha. Oi! Diggory!” 

A third year looked up. “Uh. Yes ma'am?” 

Uzi rose, cracking her joints. “Don't ma'am me, reserve Seeker. I accidentally broke a firstie. She can fly, come talk brooms with her or something.” 

 

“So cool that I’m in charge of people,” Holo-Uzi whispered.

“...He was on the team already?” Harry asked, frowning. “I don’t remember that.”

“Small changes, I’m told,” Tessa said. “Something about not wanting to invent characters whole cloth and stuff like that.”

“...How, exactly, do you fit into this situation?” Kaminari asked suspiciously.

Tessa paused. “...Ask me again when the chapter is over.”

 

The boy scrambled to his feet. “You- You what? I should get Farrell on you-”

“You're inline for captain next year anyway when Thad and I graduate, Diggory,” Tonks retorted. “Don't suck up.” 

She picked him up by the scruff with a suspicious ease and deposited him in front of roN and V. “See ya. I'll go find my detention details.”

 

“...Tonks plays Quidditch?” Harry asked.

“ Uzi plays Quidditch,” Kaminari muttered. “Hrm.”

“If I remember my books right, Tonks played too,” Tessa countered. “Been a while since I read them though.”

“...What books?” Harry asked suspiciously.

Tessa blinked. “Whoops. Never mind that bit!”

 

She sauntered off. 

The third year looked a bit awkward. “So, um, hi. I'm Cedric Diggory, reserve Seeker in the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team. And you two are... wait, are you Violet Potter?” 

“V,” V said morosely. “Don't call me Violet.” 

Diggory nodded rapidly. “Sorry. V it is. And you're the youngest Weasley, right?” 

“Youngest son,” roN confirmed. “I have a little sister too!”

“Right,” Diggory said. “We live in the same area. I think.”

 

“...You do?” Harry asked, blinking.

“Yeah, they live off over a few hills,” Ron confirmed. 

 

“Ottery st. Catchpole,” roN confirmed. “You play Seeker? I play Chaser with my brothers. When we play.”

 

“That’s different,” Ron mused. “Interesting.”

 

Diggory perked up. “Our Chasers are graduating in two years, they want to focus on their NEWTs next year. “Do you think you'd be a Chaser too, V?”  

“Don't know,” V muttered. “Haven't played whatever this game is.”  

“Quidditch,” roN reminded her. 

“Quidditch,” V agreed. “Haven't played. Love to fly though.” 

 

Harry and Ron both perked up, eyes wide, glancing between them. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Ron asked. 

“I think so,” Harry replied, both boys turning and unleashing puppy-dog eyes on Hermione, who rolled her eyes.

 

“Hermione Granger likes to fly too,” roN volunteered. “But you'll have to ask her separately, she doesn't seem to like anyone who isn't Bones.” 

 

“ Think about iiiiiiit... ” Ron whispered.

“I’m thinking no,” Hermione deadpanned.

 

“I see,” Diggory murmured, in thought. “Can I ask... what the hell did Tonks even do?”

“She said I should give professor McGonagall's cat scritchies,” V whispered. 

Diggory paled. “...and you're still alive?” 

 

“See, everyone has that reaction,” Ginny pointed out.

 

“She gave me a point,” V whispered, burying her face in her hands. She could hear Diggory whisper a soft holy shit. 

roN went right back to rubbing circles on her back. 

 

“The poor girl,” Mrs. Weasley murmured.

 

The final lesson of the day was Astronomy. It took place on midnight, on the highest tower, and the entire year took it at once. As far as V understood it, each year got one night per week. Sensible, she supposed. Only so many classes and nights. 

 

“Oh right, Astronomy is a thing,” Harry realized. “I can’t wait to drop it after OWLs.”

“What is it for?” Adrien asked curiously.

Harry shrugged. “Supposedly it’s important for planetary alignments or something. I’ve never liked it. Mostly because it’s in the middle of the night.”

“...Fair,” Adrien acknowledged.

 

They spent the midnight hour just seeing what kinds of things to put on their star charts; Malfoy was telling everyone in earshot how she was named after the Ursa Major and what stars all were in it. 

V, on the other hand, spent her time looking up the colony systems. 

 

“...Oh,” Hermione whispered softly. “Because...”

“Because they’re still there,” Tessa finished. “Yeah. I’d be curious too.”

 

“And what do you have?” professor Sinistra asked her. Debating on the answer for a long time, V simply shrugged and pointed out the Copper System. To her mild surprise, professor Sinistra grew quiet. 

 

“...Eh?”

 

“A curious star with no name,” the woman said. “Nobody can agree on one, but practitioners of Astronomy and Astrology both agree that there is history there. Is, has been, or will be, we don't know, but wizards of the past insist that it's very important to the fate of humanity.” She looked at V. “On the star chart, mark it down as the Star of Fate.” 

 

A sudden chill came across the audience present. That... with the context they now had... That was oddly prescient.

 

V swallowed. That was... ominous, but given that it was the Copper System... 

The final stand of humans, although they wouldn't survive it. To think they would get premonitions even this far back... 

 

“Is... Is humanity completely dead? ” Ochako asked quietly.

“Yes,” Tessa replied. “Humanity of the future were bastards. They deserved to go.” 

Several side-eyes were directed towards the drone.

 

“What'd you find?” Malfoy asked, but V covered her star chart. 

“Nothing,” she murmured. “Nothing that concerns you.” 

 

XD

 

Coming back from the class, the first-year Hufflepuffs bumped into a yawning Tonks. 

 

“...She was in detention for that long? ” Hermione questioned incredulously.

“She did direct a firstie...” “...to give a professor scritchies.” “You should see some of our detention numbers.”

 

“Mornin,” she mumbled at them, knocking the correct tune into the barrel and letting them in. “Astronomy, yeah? You'll have the first period off, then. Enjoy it, firsties!” She vanished into the dorms.  

“Serves her right,” Granger hissed. The other firsties looked at her in askance. 

“Oh shut up,” the girl spat upon noticing the stares. “She could have cost us points!” 

The stares intensified. 

 

Harry and Ron exchanged glances and burst out in snickers. “We could’ve been killed, ” Ron commented lightly.

“Or worse, ” Harry chortled. “ Expelled. ”

“... Shut up,” Hermione muttered.

 

The next day and a half went by quite normally. Herbology was quite enjoyable, especially since it was taught by their head of house, and she got to do something relaxing with the plants. She was even stationed next to a Gryffindor boy who was quite excited about the plants, so she learned quite a lot about them. And about other plants, while she was at it. 

 

Harry blinked. “Wait, she forgot meeting Neville entirely? ”

“V isn’t big on names, if you recall,” Tessa reminded him.

 

Defense Against the Dark Arts, on the other hand, was taught by a stuttering fool. It was together with the Slytherins, at least, so she could sit next to Lizzy (to the bafflement of Malfoy and the eternal support of roN) and just make fun of the man the entire lesson. 

 

There were several snorts at that.

 

She had another Transfiguration, but kept her head down the entire time just to never look professor McGonagall in the eye all lesson. 

 

There was a significantly larger number of snorts at that.

 

No, the first interesting class was on Wednesday afternoon. 

Potions with the Ravenclaws.

 

“Can’t wait to see what Snape is like in this universe,” Harry snarked.

Tessa blinked. “Oh hey, chapter over! Okay, where’s the command to revert the world...”

“Wait,” Aizawa said, standing up and walking over. “You said that you would explain what you were and why, exactly, you were here.”

The drone blinked. “Oh. Right. That. Uh, one sec, lemme just revert you lot back...

• <~ CLOSURE invoked ~>
•  
• // shutdown incomplete
• [ABSOLUTE_SOLVER] ∅ retracting tendrils...
•  
• PATCH reality.frame [partial success]
• RESTORE perception.idleCycles [error: some lost]
• ECHO “The script is unread. The page remembers.”
•  
• <~ END ~>” 

The world glitched back in, the [NULL] overhead gazing down at them like an unseeing eye. Tessa wiggled a little. “Never got into the whole codebase,” she muttered. “Alright. What do you want to know?”

Notes:

So, uh, Penny fucked off god knows where, and the rest of us wanted to write this, so we voted, and, uh, yeah. Tessa's taking over for now.

-Don't worry, I'll explain my deal next chapter, but I also have a small SI out, check out Twins, Adjacent for more. Well, there isn't much, but you get it. -Tessa

Chapter 12: MDA2 - Exam Part 1

Summary:

Tessa explains herself as much as she is willing, and dives into the chapter.

Notes:

I'm splitting it so that it won't be 10k or something like that. Next one soonish.

“Are you the same Tessa we saw in the Manor?” Kaminari asked outright, pointing at the drone before them.

The drone blinked at him. “Yes.”

“Then why aren’t you human?” Ginny asked, arms crossed.

“Never really liked being human,” Tessa replied. “As soon as I got the chance, I traded the flesh for metal and never looked back.”

From the back, there was a scoff, before Bakugou nudged himself to the front of the crowd. “Tch. And why are you involved in this business?”

Aizawa stood behind him, glaring.

Tessa paused, taking a few steps backwards. “...Long story short, Penny and I are essentially roommates? And we work on fanfic together sometimes. Of course, I’m not a reality warper by trade, so I usually need help...”

“So you’re weaker than her,” Bakugou sneered.

Narrowing her eyes at him, Tessa snapped her fingers and generated a small, green [null] above her fingertips. “I could still wipe the floor with all of you,” she shot back. “Don’t think I won’t.”

“Yeah, calling your bluff, Bows,” Bakugou deadpanned. “The Fae fucker says she likes her audience intact. You won’t do shit.”

“Correction, she likes her audience interesting,” Tessa countered. “Some of you have contributed jack shit to the story and you know it.”

Bakugou smiled unpleasantly. “If you’re gonna kick one of us out, start with the Grape Fucker. Bitch deserves it.”

“Hey!” Mineta objected from somewhere.

“But he’s entertaining,” Tessa replied. “You know who isn’t? Tail boy over there. I don’t even know his name.”

“Hey!” Mina objected. “Leave Ojiro alone!” 

“You will not touch my students,” Aizawa growled as he stepped out of the crowd, eyes blazing.

The [null] didn’t even flicker.

“Your power doesn’t work on me,” Tessa pointed out. “And as I can’t just yank your Names all willy-nilly, I have to set some example to get you to behave!”

“Will you leave my students alone if they do so anyway?” Aizawa enquired.

Tessa frowned. “Of course. I’m not a monster. I can be perfectly reasonable here.”

“...We could watch a chapter and calm down that way?” Adrien suggested, subtly positioning himself in the middle of potential combat. “We had a Potions class next, right?”

“Oh, that’s right,” Tessa realized. “Next chapter’s supposed to be another of the Nzuku thing.” She paused. “Actually yeah now that I think on it, that would be funnier. One sec...”

• IMPORT [NULL.DIVINE] :: AccessGranted[?]
•  
• BIND reality.thread:MAIN TO /channel/VOID
• ASSERT world.state == ≠stable
•  
• ritual.begin {
•     target: WORLD,
•     mode: READING,
•     subgroup: MDA
•     overseer: ∅
• }

The world faded out.

 

🦸

 

“So, young Midoriya, ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR TRAINING?” All Might happily led the young man to where they would train. 

 

“...Still keeping an eye on you, Bows,” Bakugou muttered quietly, before focusing his attention to the scene around him.

 

N-Zuku jumped in excitement at the idea. All-Might was the greatest hero of Earth. In fact, J and N were pretty sure that had he been on Copper-9 against Cyn… Or on Earth during the uprising, All-Might could have stopped the mad drone.

 

“I find that. To be very much. LUDICROUS,” Cyn declared with a hint of derision in her voice. “He is still. Only human.”

 

That’s how they knew they weren’t in the past but a totally different dimension: The total absence of quirks in their home dimension. 

 

“...V just had the realization that she was in the actual past of her world,” Kaminari realized. “But these ones are explicitly in a different dimension. What’s... what other differences are there?”

“Pretty sure the main one is the author,” Tessa snarked from where she was [edit]ing herself a throne to lounge across. “These ones are written by an otter we know.”

“...Otters can’t write,” Hermione couldn’t help but point out.

“This one does. Worse, he’s French.”

“Hey!”

“No offence,” Tessa added to the French contingent’s outburst. 

“Some taken,” Alya snarked.

 

“Yeah! I love doing anything!” N-Zuku happily said, before opening his wings. Explaining them to Inko had been something. Inko insisted on him taking flight lessons, and All-Might, with his civilian identity and credentials, had been perfect for the job. 

 

“...Why didn’t I think of that?” Izuku whispered quietly.

“Because you and All Might are both morons,” Bakugou growled behind him, equally quietly.

“...But Kacchan!” “But nothing.”

 

“Good. Because we need to check your physical abilities and exactly how much your quirk improves your abilities.” All-Might said with a smile before they both arrived in front of… Well, it somehow reminded N of the Spyre. Instinctively, he wanted to use the trash to make another one. Weird. 

 

“Wasn’t he the one who said to ‘avoid another whole spire’?” Uzi snarked.

“...Nesting instincts?” Tessa offered, but she sounded a little confused too.

 

“... That’s a junkyard. Or a dump. Is dumpyard a word?” N wondered while putting his chin in his hand, lost in thought. 

“As a matter of fact, yes. Your role, young man… It will be to clean it. The various junk here will force you to develop all the muscles in your body.” All-Might said with a smile. Never underestimate the basics. One For All enhanced all of his basics, and as a result, he was the strongest hero on Earth!

 

“Is that the name of All Might’s Quirk?” Mina asked in wonder.

“Isn’t Midori always calling his special moves variations of this name?” Kaminari asked musingly, mind likely still locked onto ‘mysteries to be solved’ mode. “Then again, he’s All Might’s apprentice, so that tracks...”

“Haha, y-yeah,” Izuku replied weakly.

 

Well, according to the media. If he was perfectly honest, All Might considered Star and Stripes as the actual #1 in the world.

 

“...That is the most violently American name I’ve ever heard,” Alya deadpanned, ever the superhero expert.

 

This time, it was All-Might who was lost in his thoughts before he noticed N nearby a fridge. The blonde skeleton smiled brightly at the spirit of youth and approached.

“Young Midoriya, I understand you are eager, but…”

 

“Really, Deku?” Bakugou snarked. “I know he’s mostly Murderpuppy, but he’s enough you that I can say this off the bat won’t end well.”

“I needed to build up to that?” Izuku tried.

“...This is that oaf’s idea of training?” Aizawa muttered.

 

Then All-Might discovered something. Midoriya had an appearance that some could qualify as lean. Some might even say that with the correct clothing, Enzuku could appear as a femboy. A twink.  

 

There was a moment of silence, before half the audience burst out laughing, to the expense of Izuku. Even Tessa was snickering along.

 

Said Enzuku was now lifting with two hands the American fridge, without breaking a sweat. 

“I only have one question, Sensei! Where do I put it?” All-Might smiled furiously at this innocent child who was apparently insanely strong, too. Was it one of these cases where someone did something impossible because they didn’t know it was impossible? 

 

“No, that’s just N at his default setting,” Uzi and Tessa disagreed in chorus, before exchanging odd glances.

 

Was Enzuku actually a Bee? A Beezuku? 

Naaah, that would be a short-lived thing. Better to keep Enzuku as he was right now. 

 

“...Was that a reference to something?” Mina asked curiously.

Tessa shrugged. “No idea. That universe isn’t ours, we aren’t privy to the in-jokes...” 

 

“In the truck, my boy. I believe, Midoriya, that you have insane potential, and let me tell you this. I am going to do my best to unleash it.” 

N-Zuku was so happy that he launched the fridge into the air. All-Might pulled him aside to avoid having an heir who got turned into a tomato stain on the ground. 

When the fridge landed, the young lad had the decency to look a bit embarrassed, his fingers tapping each other.

“Oops?”

 

“...That tracks,” Uzi snarked, echoed moments later by Cyn. Now it was the turn of the drone and the hologram to exchange strange glances.

 

“Lesson #2, young man. Always make sure to know where a landing happens. Be it something you throw or yourself.” 

“... Is there a story behind that?” 

All Might remembered his own training at the hands of Gran Torino. His already skeletal face turned into something close to someone remembering the First World War, and told he had to fight in the remake. 

“... Midoriya. If I ever tell you to train under my former master, it means I have failed to protect you.” All-Might seemed dead serious, both hands on Enzuku’s shoulders.

 

“...Oh,” Izuku said. “Oh no.”

“Who’s Gran Torino?” Harry asked curiously.

“A retired hero!” Iida said proudly.

“A demented goblin,” Shouto deadpanned.

“...Complicated,” Izuku summed up.

 

“... Thank you… Sir?” 

“No problem. Now… Let’s begin the training! Then, you will have some flight lessons.” Hey. Training N’s quirk would be highly useful for the future. 

 

“...Fair enough,” Aizawa allowed. At least some training was better than none.

 

As the day passed, All Might noticed something about N. His enthusiasm wasn’t just pure happiness. There was a purpose behind it, a goal. All Might could easily recognize it, as he had been similar at Enzuku’s age. 

 

“Aww,” Ochako said. “He reminds him of himself! That’s cute!”

 

Except, in his case, he lived in the Era of Strife, when All For One and the Solver were free and ravaged Japan. When Toshinori closed his eyes, he could remember the screams… The blood turned into mist as the monsters danced in their carnage. 

 

“...okay, less cute,” Ochako corrected herself, eyes wide. “Wait, the Solver?”

Cyn leaned forward. Uzi crossed her arms.

Tessa scoffed. “#NotMySolver,” she muttered.

“...What’s that supposed to mean?” Uzi demanded.

“That entity is not the True Solver,” Tessa replied, still glowering. “It’s a Pretender. A Parasite. A... no. You don’t need to know about that. Not yet.”

Several suspicious looks were directed her way at that.

 

Everything about them became a myth, and only a select few knew the truth about the situation. A bit more suspected something was afoot, such as Endeavor… But they had a reason to hide the truth. 

 

“Scary,” Mineta muttered. Nobody disagreed with him, for once.

 

“So… What about this girl, Katsuji?” All Might asked his protege as he was lifting both his mentor and what was apparently a car dead on the beach. Why would someone even dump it here? It was hard work only to be an asshole! 

 

“Now watch it be All for One,” Kaminari snarked.

 

Several years before.

“Also, I want someone to dump these 10 fridges, two cars, and 25 E.T. Atari cartridges on this beach.” All For One said with a huge demoniac smile. 

A minion raised his hand. The Emperor of crime nodded in his direction.

“... Why?” 

“All Might always said if he wanted to propose to someone, it would be here.” 

The Solver, in his host, chuckled at such pettiness. 

 

“Wh- I was kidding!”

 

Probably human stupidity. While a part of him wanted to blame All For One, that fucker couldn’t be blamed for everything wrong in the world. 

 

“Blame him anyway,” Harry snarked.

 

“Oh. She is my childhood friend! She always took care of me when we were young!” N-Zuku said with a smile. 

To be fair, his relationship with J improved greatly since that day: Now, they weren’t wondering if the other remembered their past life, and J knew she could boss him around (gently), and he knew he could actually compete with her. 

All-Might, having read a lot of comics and manga, of course, understood things differently.

 

“...God dammit,” Bakugou groaned. He could see where that was going.

 

“Ah. I see. So it was the stress of saving someone dear to you that allowed you to tap into your inner strength.” Small tears flowed from his eyes. Pure love from the purest relationship. Young hearts. 

“...Sensei. We aren’t like that.” N groaned a bit. His heart was taken by someone, and no offense to J, but it wasn’t her. Besides… 

“Don’t worry, my young apprentice! Everyone knows that a good rescue and the bridge effect is…” 

 

“Didn’t that happen here, too?” Mina mused speculatively.

“Do you want to keep breathing, Raccoon Eyes?!”

 

“She likes girls.” Good lord. This stopped Toshinori dead in his tracks as he stared at N-Zuku. Oops. 

“... Don’t worry, Midoriya. There is plenty…” 

“Lalalala, I am not hearing anything!” 

All-Might laughed a bit at the situation and then fluffed the young child’s hair. 

“It’s a master’s duty to check on his student.” Both shared a smile under the dusky sky, as its dying light reflected on the sea. 

 

“Dorks,” Uzi muttered. “Both of them, dorks.”

 

“I am convinced there is something weird about Enzuku, Nedzu.” Toshinori was in front of the rat/bear, and both were drinking tea. A delicious tea. 

Nedzu trusted All-Might. The lad was smart after all, and in fact, his guts often deduced the solution to various issues before his brain could catch up. 

 

“...is Nedzu older than All Might?”

Shrugs all around.

 

“Then, I didn’t find it.” Nedzu never admitted defeat. Defeat meant he was wrong about something. He was merely stating that, for once, Toshinori was wrong. “The Solver’s secret is still safe. Besides, how could he and his girlfriend…” 

“Not girlfriend. Just a friend.” 

“... Very well. How could two teenagers have a beef with the duo of death, when you killed All For One a few years ago?” 

 

“Easily, they did it in a previous life, and have no idea there’s an All For One,” Kaminari said. “...Of course, who jumps to reincarnation as an explanation?”

“We do,” Harry pointed out.

“Yeah, but we know they’re reincarnating,” Mina argued back. “The Watson doesn’t!”

“...well, at least you’re paying attention in class, Mina?” Momo muttered.

 

All Might nodded. Nedzu’s arguments made sense; he knew it. But something in his guts told him that Enzuku and Katsuji knew. Somehow. 

“Also, you even told me he didn’t react when you said something about a former emperor of crime you fought in an epic battle. Well, not unusually.” Nedzu wanted his friend to move on. The battle had been won. The body had been recovered, and Dr Kyudai Garaki even oversaw its destruction. 

 

“Oh that MOTHER FUCKER,” Bakugou growled.

“Language!” Mrs. Weasley called from somewhere, but she sounded fairly annoyed too.

 

Toshinori sighed. “And what about his family then? Something in his family?” 

“I did extensive research. I mean, I am not letting you give One For All to anyone not approved. So, no. Miss Inko isn’t some descendant of Nana or a former master thief or a vigilante. She is a very normal housewife who makes excellent food.”

 

“A very reputable work,” Mrs. Weasley approved.

 

Nedzu took some cheese from his desk and munched it. “As for his dad, I actually had David Shield to thank.” 

“Oh? Is he some kind of super scientist working in I-Island?” Yagi definitely read way too many comics, to Nedzu’s absolute delight.

“No, he is actually simply an excellent salesman. He negotiated with David to have I-Island have their door handle changed. He is the best salesman for Khan Corporation.” 

 

Uzi’s head snapped up. “The what?”

“Our. Audials are. Working. Perfectly,” Cyn replied. “I heard. It. Too.”

“I wonder if you’re replacing me, then,” Momo mused. “If your father is someone that I-Island would freely contract to...”

 “Bite me,” Uzi muttered, but she was visibly considering the idea.

 

Yagi felt something was wrong on both accounts. There was nothing normal. He felt it. Both had huge secrets.

 

“Oh, great,” Izuku muttered. “If my dad, or, well, N-zuku’s dad turns out to be All for One, can I smack someone?”

“I can smack them for you even if they don’t turn out to be All for One,” Tessa suggested, grinning. “If by someone you mean Penny. I can get away with that.”

“...we’ll see.”

 

Inko was sipping her tea at home before checking on the windows, and she pulled out a second phone.

She connected it to her own computer, aside from the one she let Izuku use, and connected herself to the Interpol network. 

“Now, time to do some work.” Inko said while sipping her tea. Inko Midoryia, also known in the field as “Mom”. Secret asset of the United Nations as their best detective, though she was now choosing what she would work on. She had eased up on her work since she had Enzuku, but now that her boy was working hard to be a hero… Well, she could finally go back to her work. 

 

“What.”

“What.”

“What.”

“Wild, isn’t it?” Tessa asked, grinning. “The timelines where she ends up with All for One are usually ones where she’s secretly a master thief, so don’t worry about that part.”

“...Now I’m worrying more,” Izuku said weakly.

 

Hisashi Midoriya cracked a smoke as he checked the doors. He did it with his utmost attention, making sure every lock in place, be them quantum or atomic, were still in place. 

If he let an imperfection go unsupervised, he knew the risks for the world. Thankfully, he was one of the best in the company. 

“The door is in good condition.” Hisashi said as the smoke fully turned into ashes, and he turned to face Tartarus’ director. “Project Alpha Monarch is still working as intended.” 

 

“...Do we get to know what that is?” Aizawa asked plaintively even as the students gaped at the sight.

“...is that fucking Eggman?” Kaminari asked in disbelief.

 

The man’s face relaxed instantly. Good lord. Thank Khan Corporation for their door. They kept everyone safe across the world. Hisashi nodded as he closed back the hatch he had used to check on all the restraints on the monster below. The real purpose of Tartarus that even Nedzu wasn’t aware and he wasn’t allowed to know about. 

 

“...what the hell do they have down there,” Harry muttered in worry.

“I have no idea,” Tessa replied brightly. “Doubt I’d get a coherent answer even if I asked.” She paused for a second, head tilted as if she was getting a message. “...On second thought, I now wish I hadn’t asked.”

That got her several worried looks.

 

“The usual payment?” 

“Please. Also, if someone could get me close to Musutafu, it would be nice.” He looked at the director, who was an acquaintance now. As smart as the animal he had the mutation of, the director understood Hisashi’s feeling, “I miss my wife, Tails. I miss her a lot... Not to mention my boy.” 

 

Silence.

“...are you serious?!” Izuku and Kaminari declared in unison, before looking at each other in bafflement.

“...I’m done,” Bakugou declared after a long pause. “I’m fucking done.”

Tessa glitched into existence next to him, grinning. “No you’re not.”

“This is bullshit,” the explosive boy continued. “This is fucking bullshit.”

Tessa burst out laughing as the rant started to build up.

“I mean,” Bakugou gestured, “What is this!? WHAT is this! What... What is my life?”

Grinning, Tessa gestured at him to go on.

Giving her a glare, Bakugo rolled his eyes. “I can’t fucking do it anymore!”

“Well,” the drone began as the students were now looking between the two of them, “Tell you what, you can give up now, or you can tough it out. I can’t finish this skit without you, you know.”

Bakugou crossed his arms. “...I appreciate it, but look at what we’re dealing with!” He gestured wildly at the pseudo-Eggman’s form. “You gotta draw the line somewhere! YOU HAVE TO DRAW THE LINE IN THE FUCKING SAND! You have to make a STATEMENT!” He stood up. “You gotta look inside yourself and say, What am I willing to put up with today?!”

He took a deep breath and pointed straight at the form of Hisashi. “NOT. FUCKING. THIS.”

“Oh, that’s an amazing bit,” Tessa grinned. “Nicely done.”

Bakugou sat down amidst the stunned faces of his peers. “The sentiment Fucking Stands.”

 

“Unless, of course, both are implicated in huge conspiracies I am not allowed to know because I am too smart.” Nedzu said with his eternal smile. 

“Either that or because you are a menace.” Yagi said under his breath. He knew he was right. One day, he would be vindicated. 

 

“At least they’re self-aware,” Aizawa muttered.

 

“Or that, I will grant it to you.” Nedzu admitted with good faith. It wasn’t untrue after all, “Oh, and when did you plan to give to young Midoryia One For All?” 

 

“...excuse me!?” Kaminari demanded, blinking rapidly. “Is All Might talking about giving his Quirk to Midori?”

Izuku was suspiciously quiet at that.

 

“I was planning to give it to him once he finishes cleaning the beach. His body can most likely handle it… But I want him to be perfect for it.” 

 

“...It does explain the first few weeks of school,” Momo murmured thoughtfully, even as Izuku snuck away from his class and hid near Harry.

“...so how does that work?” Harry asked quietly.

“DNA transfer,” Izuku whispered back. “Er,” he added, seeing Harry’s blank look, “I had to eat his hair.”

“...At least it wasn’t toenails,” Harry replied, mind flashing back to Ron’s comment during the Polyjuice debacle. “And what, it’s permanent?” 

“Transferable as long as you want to give it away,” Izuku confirmed. “Er... my class didn’t know, so I’m just hiding until, you know...”

“I get it,” Harry replied quietly.

 

“So… Basically, you want to kill two birds with one stone.” Katsuji said before the beach while night was coming. They had told their parents they simply went on an adventure together. Somehow, it was enough to convince all of them. 

 

“Aw. Look at them. Being fwiends,” Cyn cooed with a faint undertone of sarcasm. “Who could have. Seen this coming?”

“Pretty sure they’re training to defeat you,” Uzi snarked back.

“Giggle. Semantics.”

 

“Yep! I figured that if I got my wings and you could do your weird blue blast…” 

“Electromagnetic pulse, N. It’s a special technique…” 

“Yeah, but we both know the doc said your quirk was about turning your sweat into explosive. So. I figured you probably kept some of your abilities, too.” 

 

“...oh?”

 

“Go on.” N was sometimes highly insightful. Sure, it was once every blue moon, but it happened. 

“Did you try to imitate the rocket launcher we had, or the laser? Hell, even the flamethrower?” N had tried to check if he had some other of his abilities, but nope. Only his former strength and his wings.

 

“Just what I needed,” Aizawa groused. “The Problem Children with even more weapons than what they already have.”

“You love us anyway, Sensei!” Kirishima called out.

The man grumbled in response, but didn’t offer a denial either.

 

J didn’t hide that she was partly jealous of that one and was already working on a way to fly thanks to her explosion. 

Knowing her, N was sure she would get it right for the exam. 

 

Glances were given to Bakugo, along with thoughtful nods.

 

J blinked and aimed at one of the piles of trash. She remembered how it felt when she summoned the flamethrower from her hands. However, she had never tried before because of the risk of setting something on fire. However, right here and now, they had the perfect playground. 

N admired the pile of flaming junk and raised both thumbs at his teammate. They needed to be as strong as possible, after all.

 

“Oh, goody,” Harry snarked. “Now there are more of them.”

“More of whom?” Izuku asked curiously.

“They feel like Fred and George on full tilt,” Harry replied. “Always something exploding. Or on fire.”

“I dunno, the twins always felt like Mei to me,” Tessa replied, having wandered over. “Sup, by the way.”

“H-hello,” Izuku replied hesitantly.

 

Both former drones spent a good part of the night cleaning the beach. First N would create a pile, and then J would dispose of it. Then, to give N more experience, or rather, make him feel like his old self, J attacked him with explosions. 

Both knew it was needed. None of them had their old regeneration, as it was dependent on the Solver. Now that it was gone, both of them had to actually learn how to deal with not getting hurt in the first place. Human bodies were weaker than drones; if your arms were ripped, you could die from shock. 

In return, N would attack her furiously from the sky. 

Had anyone seen the two of them fight, they would have thought they were fighting for real. In a way, they were. They had sworn on Tessa’s name not to fail this time. 

 

“...What are you to them?” Hermione asked, after a moment.

“...Complicated,” Tessa replied. “When I was still human, and alive, I was technically their owner. Practically, their mechanic. Emotionally, their family. I...” She hesitated. “...I’m trying to not think about it.”

“Because you’re dead,” Ron guessed.

“...Sure, let’s go with that.”

 

“... Enzuku, and be perfectly honest. You asked your friend to help with your training and cleaning the beach?” All Might sighed while massaging the bridge of his nose. 

N opened wide eyes. “How did you know I asked her to burn the piles I did?!”

 

There was a ripple of laughter at that.

 

Good lord. This kid couldn’t lie to save his life, which made it even more infuriating for him to dodge all of his questions. 

“The beach has more craters than the moon.” All Might pointed to his disciples.

At least she didn’t burn the trash before he moved them, so the goal was still fulfilled. 

“Well, I guess she can use the training, too.” 

 

“You folded too quickly, Yagi,” Aizawa muttered.

 

“Yeah! We even figured a way for her to actually turn her quirk into a flamethrower!” 

“... That’s highly dangerous, Young Midoriya! Especially in the hands of a teenager!” All Might said like a responsible adult,

 

“Waiting for the other shoe,” the teacher muttered.

 

“So, of course it is an excellent idea to train it right now and avoid any future mistake!” Then the inner Floridian in him spoke.

 

“...There it is.”

 

Truly, even with his secrets, Enzuku was an heir exactly as he looked for. With the heart of a true hero, kindness in his eyes and zero fucks for things like common sense. Exactly the reasons why Nana chose him all those decades ago. 

As she said, all previous holders chose their successors based on purely rational reasons. Nana had chosen him because he gave a lot of shonen energy.

 

1-A squinted at that. Who was Nana? All Might’s mentor? The questions were flying.

Izuku huddled deeper into Harry’s beanbag. Here it comes...

 

“Now, Midoriya, I have to tell you a secret.” All-Might said, as both stood in front of the cleaned beach with more impact than Dunkirk after the British escaped. “I chose you as my heir because once upon a time… I was quirkless too.”

 

“WHAT!?” erupted from several mouths at once. 

“So All Might didn’t do some kind of magic Quirk transfusion, but there’s an actual Transferable Quirk out there!?” Kaminari exploded, staring with wide eyes. “Like, uh, like reverse All for One?”

“...And Midori has it now,” Mina realized. “Wait, where is Midori?”

“Fucker’s in hiding,” Bakugou scoffed. 

 

N stared at his mentor as he got the background of his idol dumped on him. About One For All, an all-powerful quirk that was transmissible and now… All-Might had chosen him as the new holder, considering his wounds.

The man trusted N with his secret and with his power.

 

“...wait, it’s literally a reverse All for One?” Kaminari asked. 

“Pretty sure your spotting powers are here to stay,” Uzi snarked.

 

“... Will you accept my power, Enzuku?” All Might was observing the rising sun that illuminated from behind, their shadow stretching into the sea. N looked at his mentor and nodded with conviction.

“For justice! And protecting everyone!” If J was becoming more powerful… Well, so should he! 

Their hands clapped into each other with enough strength to cause a small shockwave. All-Might knew he was right in his choice, despite N’s secrets.

 

“...oh god, there’s two of them,” Uzi whispered.

 

Then again, he hid stuff from Nana. 

Like the fact that he had owned one of the few magazines for whom she posed in the special “Muscle mommy” edition.

 

“...Do we get to see that one?” Mineta asked.

“I wish,” Tessa muttered.

“...something you wanna tell us?” Hermione prodded.

“Honey, I’m a lesbian,” Tessa deadpanned. “I’m a robot, not dead. Well, I am, but, well, you know what I mean. I think. I mean-”

“We get it,” Ron snarked. “You mean it.”

“Oh, bite me,” Tessa muttered.

 

N-zuku had his secrets, and All-Might decided to respect his privacy. He wasn’t ready to speak about them, but maybe later. When the day would come, All-Might would be there to help. 

 

“Well, at least he’s being reasonable about that,” Aizawa muttered.

 

Tsukauchi looked at his sister, who was fully geared to eavesdrop on the discussion from afar. 

Unlike what most people thought, he didn’t have a quirk allowing him to detect truth. In reality, his quirk was to make a killer coffee, allowing him to work for longer hours to justify All-Might’s insane intervention. 

She gave her thumbs-up as she confirmed the young man intended to be a hero. Good. 

“Good. All-Might? The kid is clear.” Tsukauchi said into his communicator. 

 

...and that was just common sense when it came to these things, this Yagi was clearly more up and up on things.

...Aizawa made a mental check to corner Midoriya again after the chapter, because the Yagi he knew was an idiot when it came to several matters. Oh, god, Midoriya probably learned of All for One at Kamino or something stupid like that!

 

All-Might would respect the kid’s secrets, but he wasn’t going to trust him blindly. Security measures were important, after all. But Still, All-Might plucked some of his hair and extended his hand toward Enzuku.

“Now, kid, EAT THIS!”

 

“...what the fuck,” Harry muttered. “What, just like that?”

“Yup,” Izuku sighed. “Exactly like that.”

 

Enzuku took the whole hand in his mouth.

 

The audience stared.

“If I had a nickel,” Tessa began. 

“BITE ME!” Uzi called back.

 

All-Might hadn't expected that, to be honest.

“...I meant the hair.” Maybe he should have taken someone with more brain cells than a letter in their name? “Do you often fit people’s hands in your mouth?” 

Enzuku swallowed the hair and spat out Yagi’s hand, covered in saliva. 

“This is only the second time I've done this for someone else! Sorry?” 

 

“...well, N is still N, I suppose?” Momo asked weakly.

“...Hmm,” said Mineta.

“Don’t,” said everyone else in his vicinity.

 

“... Enzuku, are you sure you are all right in the head?” 

“... Are you alright in yours?” 

Both of them stared at each other. Then came the second manly handshake. 

J, from afar, looked at them in disbelief. 

“Good lord. There are two of them.” 

 

“They’re perfect for each other,” Aizawa groused.

 

“Nedzu? Yeah, I can confirm. The kid is as stupid and determined as Yagi sometimes.” Tsukauchi said over the phone. 

“Thank you, Tsukauchi. I will increase the budget dedicated to reconstruction.” Maybe he should get one of Khan’s doors? 

 

“...You know what’s a pain?” Tessa asked suddenly, and loudly. “We’re only halfway through this fucking chapter.”

“What, and you think that’s our fault?” Bakugou demanded.

“Dont’ be ridiculous,” the drone shot back. “The otter writes long, that’s all. I think we can split it here, take a break, and pick it up later. How about that?”

“Why are you asking us?” Bakugou shot back. “You’re the Head Bitch In Charge. You do whatever.”

“...That’s a different fanfic altogether,” Tessa retorted, “But you know what, good point. Here goes!”

• <~ BREAK invoked ~>
•  
• [ABSOLUTE_SOLVER] ∅ pausing Reader Mode...
•  
• PATCH reality.frame [success]
• RESTORE perception.idleCycles 
• ENGAGE main.Forest

The world faded back in, without a stutter this time. But time was still visibly frozen at the edges of the clearing. 

“Gonna stretch my wings,” Tessa said, deploying a pair of Disassembly Drone bladed wings and shooting into the sky.

“Arrogant bitch,” Bakugou scoffed.

Notes:

Otter. This could've been two chapters.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of Solving Multiverse
• Part 6 of (V) Potter