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stupid prizes

Summary:

Luka giggled. “Whatever you say, Mei. But now that I know… there’s no keeping my mouth shut, is there, huh? Plus, it’s never as fun to drink alone~!”

“Are you blackmailing me?” MEIKO smirked, mildly impressed. “If I’m not drinking this, neither of us are.”

 

Or: MEIKO gets a little birthday gift, and for some godforsaken reason she lets Luka come along to pick it up with her. In which MEIKO is gruff but affectionate, Luka is a little gremlin in all senses of the word, and KAITO is fed up with everyone. Also nobody knows how to swim. Play stupid games... well. You know.

This fic is a gift for one of my good friends! Everyone say happy birthday Waff! <3

Notes:

HI EVERYONE!!! i am here with some sillies! i haven't written in agessss ngl i've been doing some touch ups on tcom here and there but other than that it's been radio silence, so if this is a little rougher than usual that's probably why. thank u to waff for the request & the very helpful insight on the niigo VS characterisation!!!

alsoooo on that note: this one goes out to one of my fav readers and now, i'm happy to say, one of my fav friends. WAFF!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!!!!! i honestly don't remember how we got in closer contact beyond ao3 comments but i'm so glad we did. i'm always amazed by just how much you have to SAY. it's like whatever i throw at you, you can reply. and besides that— you're always so silly and kind when you do so. you have so many good viewpoints that you never seem shy to discuss, and it makes talking to you so much FUN. just. so unbelievably enjoyable to trade ideas and opinions and bounce off each other. i love the way we complement each other, yk? i love how every conversation we have feels just... so smooth? and easy? i've never felt like i can't say something to u or you'll judge me for it. and i really value you for that, yk? you're INCREDIBLY smart, unbelievably so, and it seems like your creativity has no limits— if it does, i haven't managed to find it yet. i'm just really glad to have you! and i'm lucky you let me into ur life. here's to many more years of nonsense together! and maybe even that picnic one day :)

anyway this fic is kinda fun i think! not much in terms of plot but i think they're silly and that's enough. just a little nonsense oneshot to hold y'all over before we go back to haruka losing her everloving shit.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Luka, remember, you have to stay quiet ,” MEIKO scolded, gesturing for Luka to move a little faster. Luka nodded, but her eyes shimmered as she peered up at MEIKO, scampering up to MEIKO’s heels. “What’s that look for?”

Luka shrugged, smiling innocently up at MEIKO. “You never told me why. And you know I don’t like to follow stupid rules.”

MEIKO sighed. “I’ll show you stupid,” she mumbled, trying to figure out how to explain the situation to Luka without giving her any even worse ideas. Luka wasn’t even supposed to be here, but MEIKO had learned a while ago that the best way to get Luka to shut up was to give her what she wanted and pray it satisfied her. As far as she knew, Luka had never quite been to the crossroads— she’d seen Miku and KAITO leave and come back, heard the hushed conversations between MEIKO and KAITO during quiet moments, seen Miku come back with a few fewer strands of hair after Vivi-MEIKO had gotten her hands on her… but Luka had never been herself. And MEIKO was pretty sure Luka didn’t even know where she was going regardless.

“Fine. Listen to me.” MEIKO stopped short, leaning closer to Luka, fighting a smile at the sight of Luka’s eager eyes. “I’m headed to get… a gift, of sorts, from somebody. Something to… spice things up a bit, now that I’m an old woman.”

“Uh-huh,” Luka nodded, barely breathing. MEIKO scoffed under her breath, slightly annoyed at the way Luka hadn’t even blinked at her referral to herself as old, but…

“The thing is…” She smiled now, pulling back with what she hoped was close enough to dramatic flair. “We can’t tell KAITO.”

Luka grinned wider. “You can count on me.”



Luka peered over MEIKO’s shoulder. “What even is that?”

MEIKO shrugged, moving faster. “A birthday gift. From Miichan.”

“A drink?” Luka scurried closer, reaching out for the neck of the greenish bottle tucked under MEIKO’s arm. “Ooohhh. Fun.”

MEIKO held the bottle out to Luka, letting her take it and run her fingertips down its still-chilled side. Miichan had been worried about the bottle getting too warm— not spoiling exactly, but certainly becoming less enjoyable— but SEKAI was cold enough that Kanade needed a blanket anytime she came by for more than a few minutes, so MEIKO figured it would probably be fine. Especially if she buried it in the lake. “I don’t know if it’ll… work, exactly, on us, but there’s only one way to find out.” 

She realised too late that us implied Luka would be sharing the bottle with her, but was that really a problem? Rin and Len were practically children, and Miku was far too stern, and KAITO… well, if KAITO would lose his head at MEIKO having a drink, seeing Luka take it from her and take a swig would probably make him implode right then and there. MEIKO glanced quickly at Luka. From the look on her face, MEIKO was pretty sure she’d caught on to the exact same idea.

“I mean, even if it doesn’t, we’ll still enjoy it, right?” Luka stared at the label like it held the secrets to fixing Ena’s home life. “It’s gotta taste good or people wouldn’t be drinking it all the time. Wait! How does Miichan even have this? We don’t have any good food except the pies Kanade brings us!”

MEIKO stared at Luka, unimpressed. “They live in a restaurant.”

“Right.”

They walked in relative silence for a while, their steps echoing while Luka held the bottle of sake like it was her firstborn child. Luka piped up once in a while, asking MEIKO if she’d ever had anything like this before (she hadn’t), whether KAITO had had anything like this before (almost certainly not), and what they were going to do with it when they got back (probably nothing good), but MEIKO didn’t even spare her a glance. She didn’t have any clue what she wanted to do with it. She’d never admit it to anyone, especially not Luka, but she wasn’t exactly thrilled about the idea of getting drunk. Even Kanade’s pie was enough to get her feeling warm, and that was probably just the sugar content, so… alcohol? Potentially not the best idea. Still, Miichan had insisted that MEIKO deserved something less ‘boring’ for her birthday, so like it or not, there was a bottle of sake in her possession now. And now that Luka had gotten her hands on it, MEIKO was pretty sure there was no hope of keeping it full.

“Luka,” MEIKO hummed, gently wrapping a hand around the top of the bottle in Luka’s arms, “what if we set this aside for a little while? Just until…” Just until what? Nothing happens around here! “Uh…”

Luka grinned devilishly, jumping away from MEIKO and holding the sake tight to her chest. “What is it, Mei-chan?” she teased. “Afraid of a little alcohol?”

MEIKO huffed, rolling her eyes as nonchalantly as she could manage. “No,” she replied coldly, grabbing the bottle tight and ripping it away from Luka. “We’re almost back to SEKAI.”

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Luka fluttered around the edges of MEIKO’s vision, far too proud of herself. MEIKO narrowed her eyes, picking up speed, sharp footsteps echoing into the fog. “You didn’t answer my question~”

“No, I’m not afraid of the alcohol.” MEIKO sighed, trying her best to make it seem like that was a completely ridiculous idea, as far from the truth as it could be. “This isn’t for you, anyway. I told you before it wouldn’t work. There’s no point.”

Luka giggled. “Whatever you say, Mei. But now that I know… there’s no keeping my mouth shut, is there, huh? Plus, it’s never as fun to drink alone~!”

“Are you blackmailing me?” MEIKO smirked, mildly impressed. “If I’m not drinking this, neither of us are.”

“The obvious best option to that dilemma is to have both of us enjoy it, then,” Luka countered, reaching for the bottle. MEIKO turned her back to Luka, holding the bottle above her head, which would’ve been a great idea if Luka wasn’t nearly her height. Rin or Len would’ve obliged her, backing down, but— well, Rin or Len wouldn’t be doing this in the first place, but if they were they would’ve dropped it by now. Luka, though?

Luka didn’t even have to jump, stretching onto her tiptoes and easily wrapping her hand around the base of the bottle, pulling it out of MEIKO’s unsteady grasp. She stood there for a second, meeting MEIKO’s eyes with a wide grin and raised eyebrows, before opening the lid, throwing it somewhere behind her, and taking a huge swig.

“GAH! Ugh! I mean…” Luka swayed on her feet a bit, clearly startled by something, before smacking her lips and giving MEIKO a crooked smile. “Tasty! Wah. It’s sweet!” She held the open bottle out to MEIKO. “Wanna have some?”

“Might as well,” MEIKO grumbled, taking back the bottle. “Stay close to me, though. If you run off drunk off your tail everyone’s gonna kill me.”

“We can’t get drunk,” Luka giggled, grabbing at the bottle’s neck. “C’monnnn.”

MEIKO took a hesitant sip, tipping her head back and letting it fall down her throat. Luka was right, it was pretty sweet. She didn’t know much about alcohol— obviously none of the girls had ever brought any by, and her meetings with any other SINGERS were few and far between since the other MEIKO kicked Miku’s ass— but it seemed good enough. Sorta. “Fruity.”

“Whuh?” Luka snatched the sake. “I didn’t taste any fruity. Gimme that back.”

MEIKO watched her take a second gulp, just as carelessly as the first. “Probably because you’re inhaling it like an animal. It tastes like melon to me.”

“Wooooah. Yeah.”

“You’re not drunk,” MEIKO muttered, but she kept her eyes fixed on Luka’s face. “We’re sorta robots, or something. We don’t get drunk.”

Luka giggled, sipping the sake and letting it drip down her chin. “Whatever you sayyyy, Mei-channnn. Are you scaaaared?”

MEIKO sighed, wrestling the bottle from Luka’s hands and briefly glancing around for the cap. “I’ve about had enough of you. At least come somewhere else with me.” Somewhere KAITO won’t pull my wiring out.

“Hehe… a date with Mei-chan?”

MEIKO grabbed Luka by the hand, tugging her firmly along towards the lake. “You wish.”

“Have you ever tried getting drunk before?” Luka asked as MEIKO dragged her. MEIKO barely spared her a glance over the shoulder. 

“Not particularly, no.”

“So how do you know it doesn’t work then?”

MEIKO groaned, contemplating the ethics of dropping her and leaving her right then and there. “It’s basic common sense, Luka.” She wasn’t sure how, she just knew. Someone probably told her. Someone she didn’t remember. Unless… “Hey. How come you’re so eager to get drunk anyway?”

“Cause you’re not,” Luka giggled. “Gotta do enough for the two of us.”

“Idiot,” MEIKO sighed, taking another swallow of the sake as she pulled Luka to a cave by an edge of the lake. “Here. Sit and don’t do anything stupid.” 

“It is kinda like melon,” Luka murmured, licking her lips and studying the bottle. “Do you think it’s good?”

“What do you mean? Course I do.” MEIKO tossed a pebble into the water, watching it ripple. “Good how?”

“Like… do you think it’s high-quality?” 

MEIKO hadn’t really considered that. She wasn’t sure what high-quality alcohol was even supposed to taste like. Still, she figured if anyone was going to know anything about food, it would be the group from Street SEKAI, considering how pretentious the other MEIKO was about coffee. “I hope so,” she mumbled. “Better be.”

“You didn’t pay for it,” Luka teased. “Maybe all Miichan could spare was the worst of the worst.”

“Mm.” MEIKO shrugged, sniffing inside the bottle before taking another sip. “Tastes pretty good to me.”

Luka dipped her fingers into the lake and flicked water at MEIKO, shimmering drops landing in her hair. “You’re hogging it.”

MEIKO rolled her eyes and set the bottle down, splashing water over Luka’s ankles. “That was rude.”

“Hey!” Luka giggled, splashing MEIKO back. “My socks!”

“Boo-hoo,” MEIKO teased, rubbing one of her cheeks with her sleeve. “Shouldn’t have stolen my birthday gift, huh?” It wasn’t really doing anything, not that MEIKO could tell, but it was fresh and sweet and that was good enough for her.

Luka was quiet for a moment, staring into the horizon like MEIKO had accidentally sent her a million years off into dreamland. “Uh… Luka?” MEIKO hesitantly set the bottle on the stone floor and leaned forward, peering into Luka’s empty eyes. “What are you… thinking about?”

Slowly, Luka turned to her, a mischievous smile forming at her lips. “Has anyone ever gone swimming before?”



MEIKO stood on the shore, cradling her forehead in one hand, peering at Luka between strands of her bangs. “Luka, no.”

“Why not?” Luka shouted, edging closer to the edge of the stone she was standing on. “It looks fun!”

“Luka, it’s freezing,” MEIKO muttered, knowing that wouldn’t get Luka to even bat an eye. “What if you drown or something?”

Luka shrugged, smiling even wider as she gazed into the water in front of her. “It looks shiny.”

“That’s the sky, Luka,” MEIKO called back, voice thick with exasperation. “Are you sure you’re sober?”

“Never said I was!” Luka yelled, crouching and dragging her fingertips through the water. “Mmm… feels nice…”

“Luka.” MEIKO groaned. At this point there were two options— Luka wasn’t going to back down, certainly not now that MEIKO had gotten her so riled up about it, so she could either jump across the stones and try to hold her down, or let her jump in and face her own consequences. MEIKO was leaning towards the latter. Seemed like less work, at the very least. “Fine. Whatever. See if I care.”

“You love me,” Luka taunted, swaying as she tried to stand. “I mean— GAH!”

Straight-faced, MEIKO watched Luka topple sideways into the lake and flounder for a few seconds, frantically paddling before dragging herself halfway onto the stone she’d been standing on. Her hair was everywhere, sticking to her face at all types of unflattering angles. “Enjoying your swim?” MEIKO asked.

“Shut the—” Luka dragged a hand across her face, messily relocating her sopping wet bangs. “Ugh.”

“Don’t make me say I told you so,” MEIKO shrugged, smiling now, leaning back and crossing her legs while Luka struggled in the water. “Dork.”

“You’re the—” Luka stuttered, losing her grip on the slick rock and sliding disgracefully back into the lake. “You’re the dork!” she called, splashing to keep her face above water. 

“Hey, I’m relaxing with a drink in my hand,” MEIKO replied, taking another swig of the sake just to watch Luka fume. “You’re out there trying not to die. Speaking of— do you need help?”

Luka paused her paddling for a moment, almost immediately losing what self-sustenance she had and disappearing below the water. “MAYBE!” she shouted back, flailing farther from the rock with every desperate kick.

“Shit,” MEIKO mumbled. “Okay, hang on.” MEIKO set the bottle down and hopped up, only stopping a second to consider the best path of action before setting off across the stones, jumping across gaps that seemed to grow wider and wider. The last thing Luka needed was both of them dying a watery death with nobody but the sake bottle as their witness. She had to be analytical about this. Smart. Serious. She could come up with a genius plan no problem.

“Um,” MEIKO said, crouching at the edge of the island Luka seemed closest to. “Can you come to me?”

Luka nodded— MEIKO was pretty sure that was a nod— before turning and feebly paddling in MEIKO’s direction, making very little progress. “We’re both going to die in the time it takes you to get here,” MEIKO grumbled. “Here.” Luka stared at her, confused, while she untied the ribbon around her waist and folded it in half, throwing the folded end into the water. “Grab this and I’m going to pull you in.”

“Mei-chan, that seems like—” Luka shook her head, trying to clear her mouth of water. “That seems like a bad plan.”

“You got any ideas, genius?” MEIKO snapped. “Grab it and get over here.”

Luka reached for the ribbon and MEIKO gritted her teeth, wrapping both her hands around it and pulling as hard as she could. “Luka, could you—”

“What are you girls doing?”

“KAITO,” MEIKO huffed, too focused to say much more. From the water, Luka groaned dramatically, so focused on making her disdain clear that she stopped kicking for a moment. “Luka!” MEIKO snapped. “KAITO, thank you, I’m trying to make sure this idiot doesn’t die.”

“How did this even happen?” KAITO asked, strolling up behind MEIKO and wrapping one of his hands over her knuckles. 

“Uhh…” MEIKO glanced at Luka, who was too busy trying to breathe to help her out. “You think I know? Never a dull moment with Luka around.”

“You got that right,” KAITO grumbled. “You’re lucky we’re here,” he huffed in Luka’s direction. Her only reply was an incomprehensible whine, muffled by the water. “Yeah, thought so. Keep holding her.”

MEIKO nodded, wrapping the rope once around her wrist for more security while KAITO bent over and reached for Luka, hooking her underneath the shoulders and hauling her, sopping wet, onto the ground. He held her in a strange sort of half-seated position, steadying her against his legs while she coughed.

“Thank you, KAI,” Luka gasped, hair cloaking her face in dripping clumps. “And—”

“No more swimming,” KAITO interrupted, dropping Luka before turning to leave. “MEIKO, keep a closer eye on her next time.”

“Wha—?” MEIKO glared at the back of KAITO’s head, then down at the puddle steadily growing beneath Luka. “Whatever.”

“Thank you for not letting me drown,” Luka mumbled, leaning her head against MEIKO’s knee. MEIKO stiffened, hesitantly reaching down to pat Luka once on the head.

“Anytime,” she said. “The rest of the sake is mine, though.”

Notes:

if luka was able to get into all that sober imagine what would've happened if the sake actually worked