Freaks and Geeks

by Paradigm_Lost

Summary:

Megan is prepared to spend her Junior year unnoticed as just another clarinetist in the marching band until a new student arrives and changes all of her plans.

Chapter 1

High school was made up of power dynamics, crushes, extracurriculars, shitty lunches, and classes - in that order. Mean Girls had been satire but it had also been accurate, especially for those who were deeply ingrained in high school politics by choice or otherwise.

Megan lived on the island that was marching band. The ones who spent their summers burning in the sun, their autumns and winters freezing in the night, and carried their instruments from school to home and back just like their backpacks. Band was a lifestyle, especially marching band.

Most students didn’t think of band kids enough to have an opinion on them, and that was just how Megan liked it. Probably a few people thought some band kids were losers or cool, but those opinions usually had nothing to do with them being in band. Her childhood friend Lara Rajagopalan played the piano in jazz band and everyone loved her mainly because she had her own popular YouTube channel for music and production. She was also hot and confident. A popular band kid, but it really had nothing to do with jazz band.

Megan was the kind of attractive that people would only start to notice in college or beyond. The genetics were there, but the effort wasn’t. She wore no makeup, she didn’t accessorize extensively, she was in marching band for god’s sake. She was satisfied with being an invisible dork who only spoke with three people outside of band.

Until she wasn’t.

Band kids and cheerleaders were closely connected yet so far removed from each other in a way that could only be accomplished by teenagers. Both of their “jobs” were to support the football team. Cheerleaders with their athleticism and cheers; the marching band with their formations and instruments. They spent 10 hours on the same field or gym each day, five days a week in the summer and went to the same home and away football games every one to two Fridays in the Fall Semester. Despite this, Megan could count on one hand the number of friendships there were between a cheerleader and a marching band kid.

Teenagers and their social taboos.

Today, Megan began her Junior year of high school, her sixth year of playing the clarinet, and her third year of marching band. A day otherwise known as the bittersweet Wednesday morning in August when school started back.

Megan drove to school with Lara in the passenger seat. They’d both gotten their licenses over the summer, but Lara was the only one who could afford a car. Two months of part-time work at Panera Bread did not equate to 50k YouTube subscribers and 731 subs on Twitch.

“...and so I told him ‘school hasn’t even started yet, I’m not committing to Prom with you’!” Lara had her phone in one hand, scrolling through some social media feed, and her other hand was waving around with irritation. “He told me that I wasn’t taking our relationship seriously and he wanted to break up and I said fine.”

Megan wordlessly glanced at her from the corner of her eye before turning back to the road. Lara was someone who had plenty of dating options both at school and outside of school, and Megan believed there was such a thing as too many choices. She never stuck with anyone for longer than a couple of months and there would always be someone to fill that empty space for her immediately.

“You told Jamar, your current boyfriend -”

“At the time.”

“- that you didn’t want to go to Prom with him.” Megan finished with an unamused expression. “How would it make you feel if your partner did that to you?”

Lara hesitated, opened her mouth and closed it. “I would be hurt. If I liked them.”

“So you didn’t like him.”

Lara gave her an droll look. “We’re teenagers. Do we actually like anyone at this point?”

“Uh yeah. That’s why you date people.”

This back and forth had been going on since puberty. Where puberty had hit Lara like a truck, it’d hit Megan with an neurotic urge to read fanfic and repeatedly watch Twilight for both Edward and Alice Cullen (the baseball scene still had a chokehold on her). She’d had crushes, but she was silent where Lara acted. Social anxiety had gotten a hold of her early in middle school and her fragile self-image could not handle rejection at this point in time.

“When you find your person, you’ll know,” Megan said.

“The inexperienced relationship guru has spoken.” Lara’s smile was frustrated around the edges. “Maybe this year one of the cheerleaders will come out and I’ll have a shot.”

Megan snorted. In high school? “Good luck with that.”

Megan and Lara’s dating pools were hypothetically bigger due to them both being openly bisexual, but they were two of the eight students in their grade who were out. Four of the others were guys, and then there were two girls who had been dating each other since freshman year. If there were any others, Megan didn’t know about it. Lara had only dated girls who didn’t go to their school and Megan didn’t date.

“I just want one conversation with one of the Big Three before they graduate.”

“You did have that one conversation with Sophia last year.”

“You mean the one where she told me that she followed my channel, I said ‘thanks, you’re pretty’, and then she laughed at me?”

“When you acted it out, it sounded more like an amused giggle.”

“And you sound like you’re gaslighting me.”

The Big Three was something of a colloquialism Lara used for three of the most popular girls in school: Sophia Laforteza, Manon Bannerman, and Daniela Avanzini. All of them Seniors, all of them friends, all of them cheerleaders. Lara was convinced that she had a miniscule shot with one of them, but Dani has had a boyfriend since her sophomore year, which was practically unheard of, so that was one option down. Besides that well-known fact, it was hard to determine what happened in the popular jock circle. They seemed to date inside of their own friend group, which did not seem healthy, but what did she know?

The conversation was forgotten as Forest Grove Academy in all of its gated, private school glory and glaring wealth disparity appeared on the horizon when Megan took a turn onto its campus. Uniforms were required everyday except for Fridays and some students were sitting around the campus lawn with their navy blazers tossed beside them in the warm morning air. Megan had gotten them to school at eight-thirty with thirty minutes to spare before classes began. This also gave her time to put away her clarinet in the band room and find homeroom before the rush.

As Megan secured an amazing front row parking space near the entrance, she could see Lara’s dark gaze scanning the scene in front of the school steps. Megan knew exactly what she was doing.

“Looking for new prey already?”

“I’ve got to know who I’m working with this year, babes.” She sighed pointedly, looking into a hand mirror at her eyeliner, “But my type doesn’t arrive thirty minutes before classes start.”

Megan rolled her eyes, pointing through the windshield at a group of cheerleaders sitting on and around a table at the edge of the gate. “Isn’t that Sophia, Dani, and Manon at a table over there?” The hand mirror snapped shut and Lara craned her head out of the window, staring. Staring for so long, Megan grabbed the back of her blazer and yanked her into the car. “Stop! You’re embarrassing me.”

“My god, it’s only been three months and they’ve all gotten hotter. Women.”

Considering that the cheerleaders were at least forty feet away from them, Megan could not see how she came to this conclusion given they looked like 480p spots of humans. She shrugged and tossed Lara the keys as she got out to grab her instrument case out of the car.

“Whatever dude. Better make a move before they find their boyfriend for the year.”

“Waittt,” Lara was out of the car now, but still staring across the field at the cheerleader table. “Shit, Megan! There’s a new one. You didn’t tell me there was a new cheerleader!”

Megan frowned, squinting over the top of the car at the group. “Because there wasn't one at camp.” She couldn’t see clearly from this distance, but there was an unfamiliar dark-haired girl sitting next to Sophia at the table. “She can’t be a cheerleader; you have to do camp.”

“We have to scope her out.”

“We actually do not have to do that.”

“She could be the Bella to your Edward, Megan.”

Megan threw her a dirty look. “I’m going to the band room.”

“Girl. I swear you’re being such an op right now.”

Lara looked at Megan with puppy dog eyes. Megan looked at Lara with exasperation. She sighed heavily. “One lap around the lawn.”

The resulting mischievous grin from Lara made her nervous, but also intrigued her. Her unhinged nature was one of the reasons she liked her.

Lara and Megan slung their backpacks over their shoulders, Megan grabbed her case, and they set out at a leisurely, inconspicuous pace around the campus grounds. The main campus’ perimeter would take at least twenty minutes to walk around at this pace, but Lara promised to speed it up once they passed the table of cheerleaders.

They weren’t the only students walking about this early, but most were either the new faces of freshman or football players who had finished up with practice. A few guys that Megan recognized from the summer either nodded at her or ignored her completely. The majority of them did say actual words to Lara, either complimenting her music or general ‘welcome back’ greetings. Lara was always ready with her easy smile and breezy flattery, but she could tell that these people were not her top priority.

Top priority was getting closer by the second and Megan had to admit that Lara was right. The Big Three had gotten prettier somehow. A mixture of different makeup styles or maybe that glow Seniors had as they were ready to transition from adolescence to adulthood. But Megan wasn’t particularly focused on them.

The new girl was sitting at the end of the table and she was neither speaking or emoting like the others around her. Her skin was tanned like Sophia’s but it was apparent her ethnicity was different. Black hair hung like curtains on either side of a face that was serious but eye-catchingly cute.

As they came closer she saw that the girl had on what must be the khaki shorts option advertised to the male students, belted tight at the waist and hanging just past her knees, white socks and tennis shoes, and the white cotton button-down with only one tail haphazardly tucked in. There was no rule preventing the girls from wearing the khaki shorts, but they were only in the boys’ catalogue and Megan had never seen a girl wear them like this. It was bold, androgynous. Attractive even.

Oh, no.

Lara hummed approvingly as she apparently clocked the exact same thing. “Her style - it’s giving.”

She felt heat creeping up her neck and muttered, “I do not need another unattainable crush, Lara.”

“Come on Megan, you could get anyone you wanted if you tried hard enough.” Lara glanced at her and smirked. “We should say hi.”

“I will hate you forever if you -”

“Ladies, hi!”

 

Chapter 2

Megan had never felt like more of a massive dweeb than in this moment standing in front of the cheerleader table with: her hair in a high ponytail meant specifically for function over style, her navy polo tucked into her khaki pants like a grandpa, and her leather clarinet case’s handle clasped tightly in one hand as if that was her only anchor to reality. In a way, it was. She was disassociating a little bit.

“Lara! Megan! Hi!” Sophia was the first to address them with a beaming smile. Megan knew distantly that yes, of course she would know their names at this point, but hearing it come from her mouth was still uncanny. “You never come to say hi.”

There were about eight girls staring at them - seven cheerleaders and the new girl - and half of them did not look like they enjoyed being interrupted from whatever they were talking about. Megan found that she kept glancing at the new girl whose dark eyes finally flickered over to hers and caught her staring. She raised a singular eyebrow. Megan swallowed and looked away.

In the meantime, Lara was engaging her rizz at eight-forty in the morning. “I had to come say hi. You’re graduating this year and I’d be so sad if I didn’t have at least one conversation with the prettiest women in school.”

Megan’s soul yearned to escape her body. Yes, they were out and no one seemed to care, but to flirt so publicly with cheerleaders nonetheless was crazy even for Lara.

The table was silent for what felt like forever, but it was likely three seconds. And then Manon snorted, eyeing Lara with an amused expression. “It took you three years to work up the nerve to say that, huh?”

Sophia laughed and whatever tension or awkwardness seemed to dispel at the table. “I was not expecting this today, but I think we can all appreciate the compliment. Especially from rising YouTube sensation Lara Raj.”

Sophia was very likely the nicest teenager that Megan had ever met and Lara was obviously very pleased at the praise.

“Yeah,” Dani said as she engaged in the conversation, “I listen to your remixes at home. Tell me you’re DJing Prom this year.”

Lara grinned, “If the powers that be pay me for it. I don’t work for free.”

Everyone laughed, except for the new girl that Megan was pointedly not looking at. Her face was a bit scrunched as if she were concentrating.

“Actually you two coming up today was perfect!” Sophia turned and clasped the new girl on the shoulder, “This is Yoonchae! She moved in next door to me this summer and she’s a Junior like you two.”

Yoonchae didn’t smile but she did lift a hand and said, “Hi.”

Megan, feeling like this was her chance to finally say something, said, “Hi!” in a voice that squeaked with way too much enthusiasm. Yoonchae made eye contact again and Megan wanted to pass away immediately.

“Would you two mind showing her around?”

Yoonchae gave Sophia serious side-eye. “I can show myself.” Megan noticed that her soft voice was clipped with a slight accent.

“I know you can, baby, but I’m trying to help you make friends who aren’t about to graduate,” Sophia urged in a truly motherly fashion.

Megan did not see them becoming friends. Not with Yoonchae already having a foothold in the popular cheerleader crowd. Yoonchae also appeared unconvinced and her gaze flicked between Megan and Lara without particular interest.

“You know, your outfit is eating, Yoonchae.” Lara said amicably.

The girl’s brow furrowed slightly. “But it’s…not eating?”

“No, like she means your outfit is cute.” Megan corrected and cursed herself for even talking as she once again garnered everyone’s attention. “It’s slang. Unless, you knew that already.”

“Oh.” She nodded once. “English isn’t my first language, so thanks."

Megan smiled, “I get it. English is my first language and I can barely read it!” She restrained herself from a dyslexic joke, not wanting to confuse her any further, but the joke was for naught as Yoonchae did not even smile. Instead she appeared mildly concerned by this.

And before Megan could panic and take everything back, Lara said coolly, “We were about to head inside if you want to come with us, Yoonchae. The nerd needs to take her instrument to the band room before she combusts.”

Yoonchae's lips quirked at that joke and Megan glowered at Lara. “You’re also in band.”

“Ehh, but the cool one though.”

“I will come so I can talk to people my age,” Yoonchae said, pointedly looking at Sophia.

“And I am so proud of you.”

Manon pointed a stern finger at both of them. “Take care of our baby Yoonchae. I know where you live Megan.”

Megan raised her free hand in surrender. “We’ll get her to homeroom on time, I promise.”

Lara gestured to her, “Yeah, Megan’s my accountability partner too, so if Yoonchae ends up on the six o’clock news, it’s her fault.”

Dani said, “Uh, what?”

Lara was pretty cracked on an average day, but the things that came out of her mouth when she was talking to anyone pretty were just downright insane sometimes.

“She’s kidding!” Megan announced to no one in particular.

Yoonchae, amazingly unperturbed by Lara’s comment, grabbed her backpack to stand with the two of them. “Let’s go now.”

Yoonchae walked in between the two of them without further comment as they U-turned to go back to the front of the school. She smelled good; a sharp perfume tickled Megan’s nose that wasn’t flowery or overbearing but was definitely expensive. Unconsciously, Megan sniffed in that direction and Lara threw her an amused look behind Yoonchae’s back and mouthed: pervert.

Out loud she said, “Are your allergies acting up today or what?”

Megan discreetly presented Lara with her middle finger. “So, Yoonchae, how are you adjusting to California?”

“It is…hot and unfamiliar.” She seemed to consider, “But there are some good parts.”

“Like meeting us today?” Lara asked.

Yoonchae gave Lara a sincere look of confusion. “But I don’t know you.”

“She’s being facetious.”

“She’s being facetious.” Lara mocked. “Please Megan, I don’t even know what the word means.”

It means to stop embarrassing me in front of pretty girls, Megan thought bitterly and glared at her, hoping to convey the message.

The Creative Arts Hall was in the opposite direction of the cheerleaders’ table and on the left side of the main building. It housed the band rooms, choir room, private rooms, and the art studio. The private rooms were open for practicing from noon to 8pm for those who had the band or choral student IDs. While meant for practicing, teenagers were very creative with their time and spaces and, since the doors didn’t lock, Megan had definitely learned to knock before entering any closed door.

“So, you play the clarinet?” Yoonchae asked as Megan scanned her ID for the side door closest to the concert band room. For the first time, her eyes were focused and interested.

Megan paused briefly, both surprised she knew the instrument by only her case and shocked that she cared enough to ask. “Uh, yeah. I do concert and marching band.”

“Cool.”

Lara leaned against the wall beside the door and said, “I’ll wait outside while you two go in. I need to answer some Facebook comments,” which was actually code for Lara doing Megan a solid for once this morning. There was no way in hell Lara was on Facebook. She waggled her eyebrows as Megan held the door open for Yoonchae.

Stop, Megan mouthed and let the door close on Lara’s giggling.

The cold air conditioning hit her as she stepped inside and she shivered at the stark difference from the warm outside air. The door they’d entered was at the end of the band hallway and the band locker room was directly to their left, requiring another swipe from Megan’s keycard. Technically, only band students were allowed in this locker room, but Megan didn’t see anyone after a quick glance around, so she quickly ushered Yoonchae inside.

Yoonchae was smiling which Megan was very into, but it was concerning that she didn’t know why. “What?”

“You’re acting like this is spy movie or something.”

“Huh?”

“You were all like-” she gripped the end of one of the lockers and craned her neck around the corner of it, looking both ways “-before coming inside. So suspicious.” She laughed.

Megan felt her cheeks burning but grinned. “I - I mean, it’s just that only band students are allowed in the locker room. I don’t want you to get in trouble on your first day.”

Yoonchae’s eyes were crinkled at the corners as she laughed more. “You’re funny, Megan.”

This Megan had been told before, but it was particularly pleasant coming from her. She tried not to become disappointed that this was likely their first and last conversation. The new girl was extremely pretty, friends with the cheerleaders - Megan was already internally running a list of boys that would ask her out by the end of the month.

A moment too late, she realized that she was staring at Yoonchae who had stopped laughing, instead frowning and tilting her head at her. “Are you okay?”

Megan sighed, turning away from her to look for the smaller lockers on the other side of the room. “Yep, I just zone out sometimes.”

“‘Zone out’.” Yoonchae made a thoughtful humming noise. “Yes. I do that too sometimes.”

Despite herself, Megan smiled as she crouched at her locker. “You’re cute.”

It was meant to be light-hearted teasing, but it perhaps came out a bit more seriously than Megan had wanted to say it and the silence after was deafening. Shit.

Glancing over her shoulder, Yoonchae’s expression was that of the ‘woman calculating math’ meme and Megan began damage control. “When I say ‘cute’, I mean-”

“I know what ‘cute’ means.” Yoonchae’s tone was short and straightforward. She seemed to think about this. “You’re flirting with me?”

Megan laughed and it came out too loud and sounded too painful to her ears. “Um, no! I was just teasing you!”

Yoonchae didn’t look convinced. Honestly, she had meant it both ways and it was rare a girl would catch on to the lowkey-flirting side of it. The fact that Yoonchae had clocked it could mean a few different things and Megan wanted to see if she’d do anything with this information.

As nonchalantly as she could, Megan went back to putting in her locker combination and sliding her case inside. Yoonchae said nothing else on the matter and she felt simultaneously relieved and disappointed. Lara was so much better at these things.

“Alright,” Megan stood up with a sigh. She didn’t have the guts to try anything else. “Who’s your homeroom teacher?” 

 

Chapter 3

Lara and Yoonchae had the same homeroom, but Megan was cast off to another classroom filled with a mixture of marching band, football, and JROTC Juniors. It didn’t really matter. Homeroom was only a half-hour block that lasted the first three days of classes - something about making friends and developing a teacher-student relationship. The only thing that happened was: students catching up on sleep, students reading SparkNotes summaries for the summer reading, or students gossiping.

Today’s topic of gossip: Yoonchae Jeong.

Forest Grove didn’t get a lot of newcomers after the ninth grade. Either their parents committed to private school tuition or they didn’t. More often than not, they would lose a student or two whose socioeconomic situations changed or whose grades dropped. Even rarer was there a foreign student.

“She’s so cute!” True.

“Where’s she from?”

“Tokyo, I think.” That didn’t seem correct.

“Ten out of ten, would bang.”

Megan looked up from her notebook at the last comment and saw that it belonged to none other than Bradford Baker, an absolute asshole. The absolute asshole of the Forest Grove Junior class. Varsity football running back in the fall, varsity rugby centre in the spring, but being an entitled douchebag was apparently a year-round position.

A bully of scholarship students, a toxic alpha male to his teammates, and a disrespecter of women everywhere. But he was 6’3 and had abs, so fuck personality right?

“I dunno, man. You know how Sophia feels when you mess with her friends.” Carter, a friend of Bradford’s but slightly less obnoxious, was saying.

“Sophia can bitch all she wants. I can’t help chicks want me.”

“Even the innocent ones.”

“Especially the innocent ones.”

Megan could feel her body getting warm with anger and she forced herself to ignore their conversation. She couldn’t see Yoonchae giving these guys the time of day. But then again, she didn’t really know her. Some girls bought into these types of guys and that was why Bradford was as cocky as he was. He got women.

From Calculus to Gothic Literature to AP World History, Yoonchae kept invading her thoughts. Was she making new friends? Was she being flirted with? Were people making fun of her? Did she already have a boyfriend?

Megan was trying very hard not to care. She was trying to focus in class but she’d always had an issue with nagging and intrusive thoughts, and this morning she’d had a long and somewhat normal interaction with a pretty girl that wasn’t Lara and that tiny notion of hope was consuming her. Maybe Yoonchae didn’t think she was weird for liking girls and maybe Yoonchae could like her. But why like her when there were so many others who were more attractive and more popular than she was?

By the time it was her lunch block, Megan was upset at the world. She just wanted to sit with Lara and consume copious amounts of loaded fries - the only edible thing on the menu today - and forget about how she would be single forever. This felt like a good idea. This felt healthy.

Megan shoved her textbook into her locker and slammed it closed a bit harder than necessary. The girl whose locker was next to hers jumped and dropped the notebooks she was carrying on to the ground.

“Shit!” Megan dropped to her knees at the same time the girl did, scooping up the loose papers. It was a sophomore she recognized from passing her in the Creative Arts Hall. “Sorry Katie, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She laughed, grabbing her notebooks. “Did someone piss in your cereal this morning, Megan?”

“Uh…metaphorically yes, but also no.” Megan grinned apologetically and extended the loose papers she’d gathered to her. “One of those days, you know?”

“Hm.” She was maintaining eye contact with Megan for an extensive time, her eyes were nearly the color of snow slush. She finally grabbed the papers from her, brushing her fingertips as she did. Her mouth tilted into a teasing smirk. “I do hope you’re in a better mood next time I see you.”

Megan stared from her crouch on the ground as Katie kicked her locker shut and walked away as if nothing just happened. What the hell had happened? It wasn’t as if no one had ever flirted with her before, but never a female schoolmate. Why now? And a sophomore of all people.

“Megan?” White tennis shoes and tanned legs stopped in front of her still-squatting position on the floor. She looked up and saw Yoonchae towering over her with her brow furrowed.

“Yoonchae, hi! How’s the weather up there?” Megan craned her head up forcing a smile.

Why did the universe hate her so much? Why did she have to say so many words when “hi” would have been perfectly fine? She could stand up like a normal person too, but she was still crouching. She couldn’t feel her legs.

Yoonchae, probably not knowing what to say to that, said nothing at all. This was fine and definitely not completely embarrassing.

And then Yoonchae sighed and bent down on her knees so that she was eye-level with her, right on the side of the busy hallway. A couple of students were looking at them, but Yoonchae didn’t even seem to notice. She was looking at Megan and Megan was looking back. And Megan was scared of hope.

“So…uh. I saw you in the hallway and wanted to see if you had lunch next. Then you were talking to that girl and -” Yoonchae’s lips tightened. “-I didn’t want to enter?”

“Interrupt?” Megan offered.

“Yes, interrupt. Is she like…?” Yoonchae hesitated and then shook her head. “You know, never mind.”

Megan wasn’t entirely sure what she was trying to ask, but to completely clarify (because there was no way in hell she was fumbling whatever this was) she said, “That’s Katie. I don’t really know her, I was just helping her pick up stuff.”

Yoonchae’s neutral expression didn’t change, but Megan did notice her shoulders relaxed. “I wasn’t, like, really asking.”

Megan scoffed. “You totally were!”

Her eyes narrowed and her mouth turned down. “Lunch or no, Megan?”

There was no way she was cuter when she was frustrated. Her cheeks had darkened and she was pushing her hair back with irritation. Megan wanted to tease her more, but considered that she may actually get mad at some point.

“You actually want to eat lunch with me?”

Yoonchae looked offended. “Why not?”

Megan didn’t exactly know how to answer that question. It seemed obvious to her all of the reasons why someone like Yoonchae would have better options than hanging out with her.

“Well, because I’m lame?” She laughed awkwardly and there was no real humor behind it.

Yoonchae's expression was displeased and she got back onto her feet, extending a hand down to her. “You are the most nice person I have met today, Megan. That’s not lame.”

Megan’s smile died on the spot and she suddenly felt very stupid. She was even evaluating hers and other students’ worth based on popularity and appearance because that’s what she had become accustomed to. It didn’t make it right and it didn’t mean that Yoonchae had to buy into it because she was pretty and friends with Sophia.

But it was only day one. Popular kids could be nice too.

“Uh, thanks.” Megan grabbed her hand, ignoring how soft it was, and stood up. “I’m sorry people haven’t been nice.”

“It’s not that they are not nice. The others - they ask…too much questions.” They began walking to the cafeteria. “Just like: where I am from, if I am single, speak in Korean, if I was an idol trainee.”

Megan made a face. “People can be so cringe sometimes.”

The cafeteria was already bustling with students when they arrived at the double doors. Only Seniors were allowed off-campus for lunch, so the other students were grabbing from the buffet line or the grab-and-go lunches.

It was the last lunch block and Advanced Concert Band was a two-period block at the end of the school day. Since band fulfilled the recreation requirement, it took up the PE spot, and God bless for that. Having only band class after lunch was the best schedule arrangement she could ask for.

Yoonchae’s eyes were wide as she looked around the cafeteria in naive wonder. The cafe did look impressive at first glance, but the food did not live up to the hype. After scanning the tables for a minute, Megan found Lara sitting at a corner table with their band friends. She made eye contact with her and saw her smirk from across the room. Not a moment later, her phone buzzed with a text.

 

Number 1 Opp Lara Raj

Taking your girlfriend to lunch? Cuteee

 

Obviously, she lived up to her contact name. Megan pointedly sent her a look that meant “shut up”.

“Have any idea what you want for lunch?” She asked Yoonchae. “There are a lot of options, very few of them are good though.”

“What do you eat?”

“Today,” Megan guided her over to the hot foods line and pointed past the long line of students to the main event, “is loaded fries day. A masterpiece of crinkle fries, cheddar cheese, bacon pieces, sour cream, with a side of ranch only served once a month.” Her mouth was watering from the smell.

Yoonchae smiled crookedly at her. “That good?”

“Not to be dramatic, but I would die for those fries.” She grinned cheekily, “My doctor literally says they’re killing me.”

“Ooh. I wanted salad, but you make a good point. Sort of.” She pointed over to the salad line. “If I get salad, we could -” she made a chopping motion with one hand “-split?”

“Half-and-half?” If Megan was honest, she would have said no to anyone else who suggested taking half of her loaded fries, but there was something about Yoonchae asking that made it sound like a great suggestion. “I don’t split my loaded fries easily Yoonchae Jeong, but I will for you.”

She was half-teasing again, but Yoonchae had a way of seeming like she was looking through her and the teasing. Like she saw the underlying truth that Megan was being the world’s biggest simp right now.

After a moment, Yoonchae said, “Cool. I’ll sit at the table with Lara.”

Megan released a breath she didn’t know that she was holding and nodded.

She felt tense, as if waiting for Yoonchae to realize that she was gay or weird or something, and shun her. It’s not like it hadn’t happened before.

 

Megan and Yoonchae ended up a couple of seats down from Lara at the popular band student table. A rather niche circle of jazz band kids with actual careers outside of school, a rock band of Seniors named Five Skin unassociated with the school, Megan, and now Yoonchae.

Megan introduced Yoonchae to the table, and everyone was nice and completely normal about a new foreign student, which she greatly appreciated. At least she could count on her friends to not be weird.

Yoonchae had opted for caesar salad, which Megan was now thinking she should have warned her about because their dressing was pretty rank, but Yoonchae was digging into it like it was actually good. Godspeed, Yoonchae. Godspeed.

Lunch was going nicely. Megan and Yoonchae were picking bites of food out of each other’s plates and listening to Isak from Five Skin talk about the bar tour they were setting up for when they turned 18, when their table suddenly gained two more people. Megan glanced up and then scowled.

Bradford and Carter leaned against the table opposing her and Yoonchae, and she could have sworn both of their shirts were buttoned up a lot more when she saw them in homeroom.

Carter smiled crookedly at Yoonchae. “Hey, Yoonchae.”

“YC, baby,” Bradford grinned, bending to put his elbows on the table and Megan could see all of the way down his shirt. Definitely on purpose. “I’ve been looking for you all day.”

YC? Baby? Megan glanced over at Yoonchae who was smiling politely at them. There was recognition in her eyes and Megan assumed they must have met sometime over the summer.

“I was in class.” Yoonchae said simply and he chuckled like a douchebag.

“Yeah, I know. I was just missing you. Sophia was hiding you away from me this summer.”

Was this guy for real? Neither of them had bothered to even look at Megan, let alone anyone else at their table who had turned to watch whatever this.

Yoonchae tilted her head. “You…missed me?”

Bradford’s smile was blinding. “Sure did, baby. Carter, tell her what’s going down this Friday.”

“This Friday, we're having a back-to-school party at my house and Bradford specifically wanted you there.” Carter said, only addressing Yoonchae.

Megan wanted to barf. She also wanted to shake Yoonchae and tell her not to trust these guys. She also wanted to go somewhere quiet and spiral. Instead, she sat there quietly and listened in disbelief.

“Oh. Party?” Yoonchae caught her eye and Megan shrugged. “Are Megan and Lara invited also?”

“Who?”

Megan, horrified, subtly shook her head at her but Yoonchae pointed at her adamantly. “Megan.” She pointed down the table to where Lara was staring down at them in awe. “Lara.”

The guys looked at Megan as if seeing her for the first time in their lives, analyzing her face and likely calculating whether inviting Yoonchae was worth inviting her. She didn’t want the invite and she didn’t know why Yoonchae was sticking her neck out for them.

Bradford looked genuinely confused. “You want us to invite the band queers?”

Wow. He didn’t say “band queers” with particular vehemence but simply as if this was a normal and correct title to call her and Lara, and she didn’t know which was worse to be honest. Megan shared a glance with Lara who was grinning like this was the funniest thing she’d seen all day.

“You hear that, Megan? We’re the band queers!”

Megan didn’t laugh. The entire table was quiet and uncomfortable at this point and Carter nudged him, “Dude, you can’t say that to their faces.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say it at all.” Megan said sharply.

Bradford’s smile was rancid and unapologetic. “I’m so sorry. Where are my manners? I would love for Lara and Megan to come to our party.” His too-white teeth glinted as he grinned at Megan and she glared back. “I really hope to see you there.”

“Only because you asked so nicely!” Lara called out, beaming at him.

Bradford rolled his eyes before addressing Yoonchae again. “Manon will text you the address. And, uh, be careful who you hang out with around here. You don’t want people getting the wrong impression of you.”

“Wrong impression?” Yoonchae muttered, but the two guys had already left.

Megan made eye contact with Lara, who was no longer smiling. She knew that the bravado was just for show, but she didn’t expect her to look this pissed. “We’re fucking going, Megan. Just for Bitchford.”

Megan didn’t respond, just poked around her half-eaten plate and fumed. Everyone can be civil until you make them mad and then their true colors come out. It was embarrassing and infuriating and she hated that she was embarrassed because she had no reason to be. This was on him.

Yoonchae’s knee nudged hers gently. “What did it mean?”

Megan glanced at Yoonchae whose eyebrows were furrowed. “What?”

“He called you and Lara something and you got mad.”

“Oh, ‘queers’?” She rolled her eyes. “Since we like girls and guys romantically, some people want to be dicks about it. It’s not always derogatory - or, like, mean - but he meant it that way.”

“Oh.” Yoonchae looked more upset about it than Megan felt.

Megan, a bit surprised at the dismal reaction from her, elbowed her arm gently, “It’s fine. I’ve been called worse.”

“It’s not fine.” Megan knew that but was still grateful to hear her say it anyway. “You don’t have to go to the party.”

“Oh, I’m definitely going now.” She forced a smile. “Exposure therapy. Right Lara?”

Lara was scrolling on her phone. “Girl, I’m already picking out my outfit.”

“We’ve learned coping skills early in life. You know, being who we are, looking how we do and whatever.”

“It sucks but it’s life, babes.” Lara shrugged. “I had a conversation with Sophia today; the cafeteria had loaded fries; I’m thriving. Bitchford can choke.” Megan smiled. It was just like Lara to roll with the punches.

Yoonchae didn’t say much more for the rest of the lunch block. She didn’t even laugh at Lara’s grossly overexaggerated recap of their conversation with the cheerleaders that morning. But she hadn’t left their table either.

Megan still felt her knee lightly pressed against her own beneath the table and she didn’t even know if Yoonchae was doing it on purpose, but the pressure was like a grounding presence. A silent affirmation that said, I know you’re a ‘band queer’ but I’m still here. 

 

Chapter 4

Yoonchae left before the bell sounded for lunch to end with a quick goodbye, speedwalking her way out of the cafeteria before Megan could even say anything back.

Lara watched her go almost pitifully as took the seat that Yoonchae had left. “Poor girl is in Bradford’s sights and there are no winners coming out of any interaction with that guy.”

It was true. If you turned him down, you were trash to him. If you didn’t turn him down, you were discarded after he got what he wanted and were, very likely, still trash to him. Moral of the story, he took the Vine quote “If she breathes, she’s a thot” way too seriously.

“I don’t know what to tell her.”

“You don’t tell her anything.” Lara said simply. “She seems smart. Trust she can figure out he’s a snake.”

Megan glanced from her plate at Lara and muttered quietly, “But I think I like her.”

“Of course you do. She’s cute and nice and she talks to you. That’s your type.”

“You forgot ‘straight’.”

“TBD, Megan. You never really know these things.”

Lara wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t the point. Megan didn’t want a new crush. She just wanted to get through high school with her dignity and her self-esteem (or whatever was left of it) intact. She’d managed to convince herself that dating in high school was both overrated and doomed to fail miserably. And also that Yoonchae would never date her. That was the important bit.

“I think I’ll just repress my emotions until college, have a full-blown meltdown in my twenties, and be ready to thrive by thirty.”

“So you’ve got a full thirteen years of bullshit all planned out?”

Megan scoffed. “Rude.”

Lara was studying her in that dry, observative way that she sometimes did. It was as if she were reading a book entitled Megan’s Super Ineffective Way of Using Humor to Avoid Difficult Topics and was casually flipping through its pages because she had read this book too many times before.

Fortunately, the bell sounded before they could delve deeper into whatever Lara was thinking about saying, and Megan stood up immediately in relief.

“Enjoy jazz band, Elton John.”

Lara sighed, rolling her eyes but smiling. “Enjoy concert band, Squidward.”

“Low blow! I’m so much more talented!” Megan retorted as she walked off.

Megan was by no means an extraordinary clarinetist, but she also wasn’t a bad one. This mediocrity led to her usually being given the second part out of the three iterations of clarinet song compositions. It did happen to be her least favorite part. First part got the solos and the airy trills, third part utilized the low timbre of the clarinet which she found the most beautiful, and second part was right in the middle being basic. She was still trying to determine whether she wanted to get better at clarinet and actually practice, or just play worse and move down a couple of chairs.

Entering the band locker room once more, Megan said her greetings to a couple of her fellow bandmates and grabbed her clarinet from its locker. Even though it’d been a few months since she last played in the concert band, marching band practice had ruled over the better part of her summer. She knew her 13 scales by heart and had an epic tan line that would keep her away from skirts and tank tops for a couple of weeks.

Every year she wondered if it was worth it and every year she came crawling back to the marching band. The highs were high, the lows were low. There was little in between. It was an unrecognized class 4 drug.

There was a door at the far side of the locker room that led directly into the front of the concert band room, just so you can properly distract the class and be shamed if you ever come in late, and Megan took that way.

It was still early, so most of the chairs were empty as Megan glanced around for faces she knew. Then she paused. Eyes catching on a silhouette in the back of the classroom that was growing increasingly familiar to her. She hesitated. Blinked.

What the hell?

Megan eased around the chairs towards the back of the room. Past the percussion section and tucked into the corner at the cubby section where students kept their backpacks was Yoonchae. She was typing into her phone with intent focus and her backpack was tucked beside her.

Megan slowed to a stop a few feet away and watched her tapping her screen with a furrowed brow and her bottom lip between her teeth. Belatedly, she realized she was being pretty freaking creepy.

“What’re you doing in the band room, stranger?”

Yoonchae’s head snapped up at Megan’s voice and she blurted something low and surprised in what Megan assumed was Korean. Her eyes were wide, pupils dilated. “Megan! You scared me.”

“Sorry! Sorry.” Megan came closer and sat crisscrossed in front of her. “To be honest, I thought you were a ghost. Like, what’re you doing in the band room?”

Yoonchae tapped something else on her phone and then turned it off. “Oh,” she tilted her head side to side as if looking around, “This is band room? I thought this is art room.”

“Oh.” Megan gestured pointedly to the percussion instruments and the students walking around. “No. This is the band room.”

Yoonchae’s lips were twitching and Megan was entirely confused. “Oh no. Silly me. I guess I will have to stay here and play this.”

And then she slowly, grandiosely, unzipped her backpack, reaching inside and pulling out the smallest instrument case Megan had ever seen.

Megan’s eyebrows shot up and her jaw dropped. “No way!”

Yoonchae unlatched the case with a tiny smirk and displayed its contents to her. Inside, tucked into its velvety red cushion was a piccolo. A Yamaha wooden black piccolo with shining but slightly tarnished silver keys, the mouthpiece and body resting side-by-side. Easily one of the more expensive models that would cost thousands of dollars.

“Oh my god, that is a very sexy instrument.” Megan said quietly.

Yoonchae was watching her reaction carefully up until she heard that and then she laughed. “Sexy? My instrument?”

“Uh, yes.” Megan deadpanned. Was it weird to find an attractive instrument sexy? She’d definitely seen many a sexy instrument in her days as a band student. There was something about a woodwind or a cello. “Also, what the hell are you doing in band?!”

She blinked and said seriously, “I play piccolo.”

“But you didn’t even say anything! I nearly aged thirty years sneaking you into the locker room this morning and you actually belonged in there!”

“You’re so dramatic, Megan.”

Megan stared at her. This still was very shocking information. “I can’t believe I thought you were a total jock.”

“Jock?”

“A student who plays sports. Maybe a cheerleader even.”

Yoonchae snorted. Actually snorted. And Megan could feel her heart thudding in her chest. “Why would you think that?”

“You’re very pretty,” she blurted.

Her head tilted and her brown eyes bore into hers curiously. She smiled radiantly. “But you’re pretty and also in band.”

Megan froze. Both her body and mind stuttered to a stop as an attempt was made to reconcile that compliment with that smile and accept that this was actually happening in reality. It was just a well-meaning compliment and yet her cheeks were burning and her stomach was doing somersaults inside of her. She was experiencing a complex feeling of being happy she was alive and also wanting to die a horrible death this very second.

“I mean, I’m not saying there aren’t pretty people in band,” Megan said quickly, glossing over the compliment for own sanity, “it’s just, you know…” She slowly tapered off. She didn’t have a good reason. Inherently, she believed cheerleaders equaled hot and band kids equaled average. Seeing a hot person in the wild did not make her consider if they played the timpani or the oboe. “I’m just dumb, don't mind me.”

Yoonchae was still smiling at her, eyes bright and amused like she knew every little embarrassing thing going on in her head. Megan fumbled with the case on her lap and unlatched it to give herself something else to look at. She unwrapped a fresh reed for her clarinet and placed the flat end into her mouth to soften it while she fit the five parts of her instrument together.

“Does it taste good?”

Megan just about spat out her reed and glanced sideways at Yoonchae’s innocent expression. Too innocent even. She swore she was doing this on purpose or her mind was past saving at the point. She took the reed out of her mouth, “Um, kinda good. It's woody and slightly sweet from the coating.”

Yoonchae looked at Megan.

Megan looked at Yoonchae.

I could give you a taste. She thought and immediately discarded it as trash. Holy shit. Get a grip, pervert.

She pulled an unopened reed from her case. “Wanna try one?” Saved.

“Um, no. I don’t want to…waste.” Yoonchae glanced towards the front of the classroom. “I’m going to sit.”

She left quickly, as Megan was noticing that she tended to do, and sat on the right-hand end of the first row, where the flutes sat. It’d appeared Dr. Myers had given her the chair that usually belonged to the first-chair flutist. Val, the previous first-chair flutist, was in the second seat from the right already and looked Yoonchae up and down before giving her a polite yet stiff smile. Yoonchae must have usurped her position as first-chair during auditions. Piccolo wasn’t necessarily a flute, but also it kinda was where it mattered. There had just never been a piccolo player in their band to contest with so it was going to be a novel experience.

Megan found her seat on the first row, three seats from the left. She’d moved up one chair after a Senior from last year had graduated, but she was yet to discover if that meant she’d be receiving the first part for the song compositions. Coty, second chair clarinetist, was to her left and Jeremy, their one oboist, was to her right.

Coty was an abundantly freckled redhead who always wore straight dark trousers and a black or navy tie to school, consistently impeccably dressed like a little businessman. She’d known him since the seventh grade and he would irritatingly side-eye her if she missed a note. Otherwise, she liked him. He was like an obnoxious younger brother who was the exact same age as her.

“Welcome back Megan. It’s been a minute since you’ve sat next to me in the concert band.”

“It’s because I don’t practice, Coty.”

His voice was dry. “Are you saying that you don’t live, laugh, love concert band?”

Jeremy with his curly black hair and slightly gapped front teeth leaned forward to address Coty, “Dude, you know she has marching band brain. Concert band’s just a hobby for them.”

Megan shrugged. “I have devoted my life to the marching band gods and I love it here.”

“Blink twice if you need help, Megan!” Jeremy exclaimed loud enough that Yoonchae glanced over in concern.

Megan caught her eye and smiled apologetically before elbowing Jeremy hard in the ribs. “Stop embarrassing me.”

“Uh, ow!”

Coty was smirking as he applied an excessive amount of cork lubricant to his clarinet. “First day of school and she has another crush.”

Megan cut her eyes at him, surprised and irritated. “What? How do you even know that?”

“Megan. Megan. Megan.” He said slyly, rubbing his fingers on the cork of his clarinet to the tune of her name in a way that was just wrong. “It’s really just a small tell. You simply openly stare at and blush around the person you like in the most apparent way possible.”

She scoffed. “Oh c’mon.”

“You are the most obvious person I have ever met in my life and it’s cute, but also a little sad.”

Megan glanced at Jeremy who shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I don’t really pay attention to you.”

“Okay, but surely I’m not that -” Megan fullstopped as Dr. Myers came walking out of her office.

Not wanting to be a target of the band teacher’s wrath today, she quickly attached her reed to her mouthpiece with her ligature and waited for instruction.

“Alright, enough talking!” Dr. Myers yelled at the approximately zero students talking and hit her baton on the music stand in front of her. “We’re starting the year with the C major scale which, being in Advanced Concert Band, you should all know. If you don’t know, kindly leave the room, go to the front office, and change your schedule to Beginner Band now. I don’t want to see you again.” Megan's lips twitched around her mouthpiece as she saw Yoonchae in the corner of her eye staring wide-eyed and horrified at the professor. She truly loved that classic band teacher charm. “The rest of you listen when you play to make sure you’re in tune. Contrary to popular belief, we don't play scales for fun. Now, 1 and 2 and-”

—

After a grueling two hours of concert band, the first day of school was officially over. Yoonchae was, unsurprisingly, superb at the piccolo and Dr. Myers had even smiled at her once when she properly did the G Major scale alongside about 10% of the rest of the band. Megan felt proud.

They were dismissed with new sheet music and a request to practice said music for two hours this evening which Megan gave a resounding hell no. Band teachers liked to pretend that band was the only class that mattered in school and Dr. Myers was also the only teacher that had given her actual homework on the first day of school.

Why was she in concert band again?

She was taking her clarinet apart when Coty leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Listen Megs, I will give you first shot at the new girl since you have dibs and I’m your buddy. But when you find out she’s straight, I will be swooping in like a majestic eagle to catch my damsel. She is glorious and performs the piccolo like a goddess.”

Megan smiled and leaned over to whisper back, “This is why you are single, Peterman. Also, I’m not into her and this is not a competition.”

“Denial is a river, Megan. You’re drowning in it.”

God, band kids were lame.

Even so, Megan couldn’t stop herself from craning her head over at said Korean girl who had already left her chair and was packing her case back into her backpack.

Coty chuckled and echoed, “Drowning in it, Megan.”

She ignored him and went back to putting away her own instrument. Not being weird, not staring at pretty girls who were somehow in the band alongside the loser who sat beside her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Coty,” she said, snapping her case closed. “Try to be less annoying then.”

“No promises!”

As much as Megan wanted to talk to Yoonchae again, classes ended at four and she had an obligation to get Lara home before five, and she still needed to stop at her main locker to get her backpack. Lara, who didn’t have an instrument to pack or a band teacher who taught until the last second of class, would likely be waiting at the car. She considered putting her clarinet in its locker but knew that Dr. Myers sometimes would check lockers and dock points for anyone who didn’t take their instrument home after being told to practice.

She used the covered walkway between CAH and the main hall. The campus was quieter at 4:10. There were no afterschool practices on the first day, no exams to study for at the study hall, and little reason to lollygag on campus after the last bell. The campus was still open until 9pm, but there were off-campus spots nearby people liked to frequent.

Megan heard a set of footsteps quickly approaching behind her and edged over to the side of the hall, not wanting to be shoulder-checked into next week by a student in a rush, but the steps slowed down next to her. Pleasantly enough, it was Yoonchae.

“Hi again, Yoonchae!”

The girl appeared hesitant. “I’m not following you.”

Megan nearly laughed at the absurdity, but stopped herself at her serious expression. “Oh. No I didn’t think you were. Do you need something?” Yoonchae didn’t say anything for a long time and Megan internally kicked herself. It was the girl’s first day of school in a foreign country and Megan was probably the closest thing she had to a friend. “I didn’t mean to leave you in the band room, it’s just I carpool with Lara and she streams at six on Wednesdays, so I am trying to hurry.”

Yoonchae gave an awkward smile, pushing her hair out of her face. “It’s okay! You play well. In, uh, the band.”

Megan snorted, stopping at her locker and working on the combination. “Please, I am mediocre at best. You, on the other hand, were absolutely stellar. Dr. Myers was definitely impressed; my seatmate said you were a goddess and - don’t tell him I said this but - I agree. You are beautiful…at the piccolo.” Saved.

She really needed to work on her brain-to-mouth filter. But then again, Yoonchae’s cheeks were flushed with pride or pleasure and Megan considered that maybe a person could use an unfiltered line of compliments once in awhile.

Yoonchae bowed her head slightly and avoided her eyes. “Thank you. But the band teacher - she is so…mean sometimes.”

“We prefer to call it passionate here,” Megan smiled. “I’ve never had a band teacher who wasn’t a little crazy.” She grabbed her backpack and nudged the locker closed with her foot. “So, are you riding home with Sophia?”

“Yes. Today I am.”

“Sweet. I am also headed to the parking lot, so I will accompany you if you like.”

Yoonchae made eye contact with her for a brief moment as if searching for something and then looked away. “I would like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course, Megan.”

Notes:

Yes, I was a band kid if you couldn’t tell from the excessive instrument descriptions. And yes, my clarinet was sexy if you were wondering.

Chapter 5

Megan had never actually been to a legitimate high school party before. There was Jeremy’s bar mitzvah (this didn’t necessary count as it was in middle school and his parents forced him to have one so no one was having fun), Lara’s sweet 16 that’d been on a cruise (a week of sleep deprivation and a surprisingly lax staff that’d served them cocktails on more than one occasion), a couple of Dave & Buster’s birthdays (fun but…was that actually a party?), and Coty’s most recent Star Wars themed birthday party at Disneyland (he’d walked all day in the Californian summer heat dressed as a Sith lord, God bless).

But today, Megan was going to an honest-to-god, popular-kid high school party at Carter’s mansion. She’d only had movies as a reference of what to expect, but she was expecting alcohol, weed brownies, loud music, and a sweltering amount of teenage horniness. However, this was also a rich kid party, so she was prepared for many out-of-the-box worst-case scenarios. She planned to go into this party assuming that everything was spiked and no one could be trusted. Lara, who’d been to many of these kinds of events, believed she was overreacting.

Fair. But someone had to be responsible and someone had to be the designated driver. She was going to be both.

Currently, Megan sat cross-legged on Lara’s bed, waiting for her to be finished in the bathroom. The party was beach-themed. A lazy excuse for everyone in attendance to wear as little clothing as possible. Megan had opted for a cropped shirt and a flowy flower skirt that was long enough to hide her shorts tan. Lara had been unimpressed by said outfit choice.

“It’s giving 40-year-old aunt,” she’d said.

“Well, you’re giving Spring Breakers.” Megan had retorted lamely. It wasn’t an insult.

Lara was always impeccably dressed or, in this case, barely dressed and extremely hot. She wore a black bikini today. Megan found that most bikinis had very little variation, but this black bikini fully covered her tits and cheeks because “these boys didn’t deserve to see more”. Lara’s words.

She’d had a bikini ready for Megan who had declined on the basis of her marching band tan lines. It wasn’t a fake excuse, Megan had little qualms about wearing such outfits, but this felt like neither the time nor place to wear such a thing. This wasn’t about to be a house party full of people she liked or felt comfortable around.

And so, Megan had done her makeup light and let her black hair out of its strict, marching band ponytail into a more freeing half-up, half-down style. She felt festive enough. No one there would really care.

Lara exited the bathroom with a sheer shawl and her phone in hand. On her face was an expression of self-satisfaction. “Sophia dm’ed me Carter’s address. And she says Yoonchae says hi. To you specifically. It says: ‘tell Megan that Yoonchae says hi’.”

Megan felt her cheeks burning even as she fought back a smile. “Stop looking so smug. She’s just saying hi.”

“It means she’s thinking about you.”

“You’re making it sound romantic when it’s not.”

“I’m just saying, she didn’t say hi to me. Sophia did though, ay-yo.”

They were only three days into their Junior year, but so much was already different from the years before. It was like she was in High School Musical where there was no status quo. Lara had been dm-ing Sophia on Insta (under the pretense of the party, but still), Yoonchae had been eating lunch with the two of them, and she walked with Yoonchae from the band room to the parking lot every day this week. The afternoon would be different with marching band and cheerleading practices beginning back next week, but Megan liked to think that lunch and their free days might be the same.

Lara plopped down on the bed next to her looking up the address on Maps. “Damn, I know most of our school has money, but I forgot Carter’s parents are rich-rich. This is literally a mansion. I can see their pool on the map.”

“I’m going to get lost and murdered,” Megan muttered.

“Girl. Are you sure you want to go to this party?”

She’d been asking herself that same question for the past two days. The short answer was no. The longer answer was that Yoonchae had basically invited the two of them to go and also she would be there, in the wild and outside of the bounds of their school’s campus.

She ignored the rising anxiety. “No, I’m going.”

“Just take the car when you want to dip like I said. I promise you I will find a ride.”

Megan side-eyed her. “So I shouldn’t wait for you?”

“What do you think?” Lara’s mouth quirked in a manner that was nothing but devious and her toned, mahogany body stretched along the bed languidly like a cat.

Megan blinked. “Dude, stop trying to seduce me.”

Lara laughed quietly, “I’m not trying to do anything. Stop being so fruity.”

“No. I think not.”

—

The gated driveway was approximately half the length of a football field and nearly filled completely with vehicles as Megan pulled up thirty minutes after nine. The thumping music and flashing lights reached them from at the end of the property and Megan exchanged a look with Lara. She felt the tight clench of anxiety in her chest at the sheer amount of people who were going to be inside.

“I don’t think I’m going to stay for long.”

Lara patted her shoulder, “C’mon. I’m like fifty percent sure it won’t be as bad as you’re thinking.”

“Wow. When you say it like that, I feel really comforted. Thanks.”

The hike up the driveway was almost pleasant, the pavement was lined with well-manicured bushes and intricate flower displays at complete odds with the reverberating bass and intoxicated yelling in the distance. There was a guy she didn’t recognize asleep underneath one of the bushes in only his boxer shorts at about the midway point which was impressive because the party had only begun half an hour ago.

Lara was scanning the entire property and the few random stragglers loitering on the landscape with cold observation. “So far, I’m seeing no one from Forest Grove. This is good. I have options here.”

Lara made smart decisions and rarely got involved romantically with anyone at their school. Megan was potentially less smart and definitely more antisocial and developed long-lived yet unattainable crushes that she never acted on and had the hardest time getting rid of. It was great. Life definitely wasn’t just unrequited love and suffering.

“I don’t understand how people have social circles this big.”

“Money makes ‘friends’.” Lara said sardonically.

They’d finally made it to the double front doors which were at least two Megans tall and thrown wide to expose a large open area sparsely furnished and containing at least twenty people. The back wall directly opposite them was composed entirely of glass and she could see out into the pool area where there were even more people. There was exposed flesh everywhere that she looked and her head was full with the pounding of the bass. In this open area she was beginning to see students she recognized.

To the right was catered food and bowls of liquids that she couldn’t be a hundred percent sure were simply fruit punch. There were stacks of canned beers and sodas, tables of various liquors, a keg stand, and drink garnishes. There even was a woman of indiscernibly young age behind the alcohol table acting as a bartender.

“This is wild!” Megan yelled in slight concern at Lara whose expression betrayed nothing but mild intrigue as they wandered further into the room. “I feel like I need an adult.”

Lara’s eyes locked on something in the far corner of the room as they passed by a clumped up group of students and she smirked. “If you need an adult, I think your girlfriend needs a save.”

Megan felt the excited lurch in her chest at the mention of her not-girlfriend and followed Lara’s gaze to a sitting area at the back of the large room with Forest Grove students. Sandwiched in between Bradford and Sophia on a couch, with a glazed expression that looked off into another dimension, was Yoonchae.

Yoonchae who was absolutely beautiful with her glossy black hair and her knee-length jorts and her sleeveless graphic tee. And yet, uncontrollably, Megan felt her gaze draw back to Bradford who had managed to grab her attention out of nothing except complete shock.

“Lara. What the actual fuck is Bradford wearing?”

She gave a long-suffering sigh beside her. “Speedo briefs, babe.”

Megan made eye contact with the bulge. And the bulge looked back.

Megan was of the mind that Speedo swim briefs were for competitive swimmers and competitive swimmers only. The sheer audacity and undeserved confidence of this man to wear swim briefs to flaunt around his body at a house party - so close to Yoonchae’s face no less - was astounding.

“There’s no way his dick is that big.”

“It’s definitely stuffed,” Lara agreed. She was also making eye contact with the bulge and Megan had the belated thought that they were likely engaging in exactly the activity that Bradford wanted.

“Should we say hi?”

“To his penis? Totally.”

“Talking about Yoonchae and Sophia now.”

“Let’s say hi to all three.”

It took more maneuvering around distracted teenagers and random, though expensive-looking, pedestals of art in order to reach the back corner of the gigantic front room that Megan still wasn’t sure whether to call a display room, a parlor, or some combination of both.

The music was marginally quieter in the back, but Bradford, all bronzed skin and gleaming teeth, was still yelling over the music at the group gathered around the sofa about football. Despite being in the marching band going on three years now and having to go to all of the school’s football games, Megan knew and cared so little about the actual sport that it was probably impressive.

Sophia, who’d had a thousand-yard stare to match Yoonchae’s, finally blinked as Megan and Lara walked up to the group. She nudged Yoonchae, who startled as if she’d been woken up from sleeping with her eyes closed, and gestured at them.

Megan smiled and lifted her hand a bit awkwardly as Yoonchae glanced over. Her face broke into a radiant grin that crinkled her eyes and Megan had the hardest time believing that Yoonchae was smiling that hard because of her. But she was.

“Megan!” Yoonchae said excitedly, standing up and cutting off whatever Bradford had been ranting about. Megan felt more than heard the group go silent and watchful, but Yoonchae didn’t seem to notice. “I’m glad you came!” She glanced over. “And Lara!”

Lara snorted. “Yeah, hi Yoonchae.”

Bradford was glowering at Megan. She could feel his amber-eyed gaze burning into the side of her face. And yet, despite the mortification from all of the attention crawling underneath her skin, she liked the way she pissed him off just by taking the attention away from him. She liked the way that Yoonchae was smiling at her and not him, despite his Speedo bulge.

“I’m glad you invited us.” Megan pointedly addressed Yoonchae.

“Honestly, didn’t think you two’d come,” Bradford said loudly. His easy grin was back as if it’d never gone.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Lara’s tone was as easy as his smile, but there was no humor in her dark eyes. “We were invited.”

Bradford seemed like he had something to say about said invite, but Sophia beat him to the punch. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.” She stood up. “Me and Yoonchae were just about to take a walk around the pool and would like you to join us. Right, Yoonchae?”

“Yes!” Yoonchae looked relieved. “Yes. Now, please.”

Bradford made to stand up, “I can come -”

“No. You can sit and stay.” Sophia said firmly and without room for argument. She crooked a finger at Megan and Lara. “You two can come with us.”

As they followed Sophia and Yoonchae away from Bradford’s scowling face, Megan exchanged a surprised look with Lara who mouthed: mommy. It wasn’t possible to disagree with that sentiment.

“What does it make me if I want Sophia to command me like a dog?” Lara muttered just loud enough so Megan could catch it.

A surprised guffaw escaped her before she could stop it and Yoonchae and Sophia both turned to look at them. Megan coughed. “So, uh, you really told Bradford off, Sophia.”

She rolled her eyes before turning back around. “He doesn’t understand subtly, so I don’t bother.”

Megan glanced at Lara, but she only had eyes for Sophia. She had a fixed, intense gaze on the back of her head like an arrow honed to its target. It was her textbook down-bad expression, and Megan had the feeling both of them were going to be unavoidably disappointed by their crushes this year.

She examined Yoonchae’s side profile as she laughed about something Sophia was saying to her and felt the inexplicable urge to distance herself from her. The longer they hung out, the more Yoonchae smiled at her like she wanted to be around her, the more it would hurt when she didn’t anymore. Maybe it was dumb, but it was persistent. And if a thought was persistent enough, it might as well have been true.

Suddenly, the students felt too close and the music too loud.

Megan reached out to pinch the skin of Lara’s elbow and gently wiggled it. A little odd, but Lara knew the nonverbal code for spiraling immediately as she looked over for a brief second in concern. Megan’s face was only a blank mask, nothing hinting at the turmoil beneath the surface.

“You wanna go home?” Lara asked quietly, but Megan shook her head. It was just so damn loud and chaotic everywhere here. As if reading her mind, Lara said louder, “Instead of the pool, is there anywhere in this house that isn’t noisy as hell?”

They were finally back at the front of the room with the refreshments. It’d appeared that pizzas had arrived and a hoard of people were digging through the boxes with animalistic ferocity.

“Um,” Sophia hesitated, glancing from the pool to Yoonchae to Lara to the pizza as if a million things were running through her head. Megan could feel Yoonchae looking at her, but couldn’t bring herself to look back. “Carter’s basement, I guess. His screen room is soundproof and I think they’re starting the movies at midnight so you have time.”

“You guys can go ahead to the pool!” Megan managed to put a smile onto her face. “I just need a moment.”

She’d already clocked the staircase on the opposite corner of the room they were in and headed that way immediately without waiting for a reaction. Honestly, she’d wanted to leave but they had literally just got here and something about leaving now made her feel as if Bradford was winning. Which was dumb because who cared what he thought?

And yet, she cared a little too much about what everyone thought. It was human and it was extremely annoying.

She hated that she was so full of want. Wants that conflicted with each other or were simply impossible. She wanted space. She wanted comfort. She wanted acceptance. She wanted Bradford to choke. She wanted Yoonchae. She wanted world peace. She wanted a cat. She wanted her brain to fucking work properly.

Want was simply a craving for something she didn’t have, but sometimes she felt like she didn’t have much of anything to begin with.

 

Notes:

I am but a chasm of angst, milord.

Chapter 6

Megan felt a bit self-conscious sitting alone on what appeared to be a casting couch in the back corner of Carter’s empty screening room. It was quiet and dim here, about half of the size of a traditional movie theater and equipped with a popcorn machine and a soda fountain in the corner. In its current state, it was a nice thinking spot. If only she liked her thoughts.

She’d wished she grabbed a pizza slice or knew how to work the popcorn machine down here. She planned on being here for a while and hadn’t considered becoming hungry.

Her phone buzzed in her skirt pocket and knew it’d be Lara. She wanted to ignore it, but that would only make her come seek her out, so she checked it.

 

Number 1 Opp Lara Raj

So

R u ok

Ur grlfrnd is worried

Also me

 

What does “ok” even mean really? What was emotion and feeling when it came down to it?

Megan texted back ‘yep :)’ with the complete amount of authenticity that she felt, which was little to none. Truthfully, she wasn’t that bad. Just some strange combination of overstimulation and frustration that culminated into a brief self-pity spiral. Now that she was away from it all, it felt like a dumb overreaction even if it was justifiable in the moment.

But what was she even doing here? These parties were for socialites who thrived off of social interaction and kids who wanted to live in the moment and drink themselves into oblivion. That was all well and good, but she didn’t want to party with these people.

The door to the screening room clicked as it opened. Megan warily watched the doorway, waiting for some horny couple to come in thinking that the room was empty, but no. It was a tall, Korean girl who stood in the doorway, backlit by the lights in the hallway and holding a pizza plate and two canned drinks. She scanned the entire room before her gaze landed on Megan tucked away into the back corner. She frowned.

“Hi, Yoonchae.” Megan managed a small, embarrassed smile. “I was just about to find you guys.” That was a lie. She was likely going to stay down there until people began trickling in around midnight, but it didn’t matter one way or the other.

Yoonchae was hesitating in the doorway as if she didn’t know whether to come in or not. “You seemed…sad.” She seemed to be searching for the right word and ended up settling on one she wasn’t satisfied with.

She looked concerned, which made Megan feel even worse. Yoonchae probably did like her in some way. She’d always been nice to her and spoke with her when she saw her. Maybe it was the fact that she was so friendly that was throwing Megan off. Was she this cynical that she couldn’t trust friendliness?

“I brought pizza.” She slightly lifted the plate she was holding. “Cheese?”

Megan's smile was genuine this time. “I love cheese pizza. Gimme!”

Yoonchae came and sat on the couch, placing the pizza plate and two sodas in the space between them. One slice already had a bite taken out of it and Megan chose that one to bite into.

Yoonchae glanced at Megan’s mouth and then away quickly. “That was my slice.”

“Oh.” Megan extended the pizza to her and smirked, “You want it back?”

“No.” She scoffed but her cheeks had darkened. “You just want me to, like, eat after you.”

“Guilty!” Megan sing-songed in a way that left it up to interpretation whether she was serious or not. It was a failsafe she was beginning to realize she used more than she thought. “I already have your saliva in my mouth, you might as well put -” Stop talking Megan. She stuffed her mouth with another bite of pizza.

Yoonchae had a way of looking at Megan like she was one of the strangest people she’d ever met, brows v’ed in concern, but she didn’t appear to be turned off by it. Just perplexed.

“I think you came here - to this party - for me.” Yoonchae focused on the blank screen at the front of the room.

Megan prematurely swallowed the bite of pizza she had in her mouth and it felt like lead dragging down her throat. She coughed. “Um. I mean. Sort of.”

Where exactly was this going? Yoonchae was more observant than Megan wanted to give her credit for and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She’d never been great at hiding her feelings, but most people never cared to look for them to start with.

“Are you upset at me?”

“What?” Megan was surprised at the turn in conversation. “No. Why would I be mad at you?”

She fiddled with her hands. “You don’t like Bradford.”

“Yeah, because he sucks.”

“But you came here because of me.”

Megan wasn’t understanding what she was getting at. “You invited me, so I came.”

“Why?”

Oh. She was hitting her with the ‘why’.

She thought about being honest. For a brief moment, she considered what would happen if she’d simply said: I think you’re quite nice and extremely hot and I’m very attracted to you. That’d be crazy work. But she played with the idea in her mind for longer than she expected of herself.

Instead of that, Megan leaned her back against the wall and said quietly, “I like hanging out with you.” And it was as honest as she could be right now, but it also felt right.

Yoonchae’s throat bobbed, still looking ahead. “I feel bad. I feel like after Bradford said that… that mean thing to you and Lara, I should have not come. But I come and so did you and now you’re sad.”

Megan didn’t know what to say to that. The fact that she thought Bradford’s shit was at all her fault was frustrating, but the fact that she’d had the compassion to even consider her feelings to such an extent made something in her heart warm and ache.

There’d been a point in her life where she had truly disliked and mistrusted most people, and perhaps it still lingered, but Yoonchae was really trying to disprove her philosophy.

She reached the distance between them and placed her clean hand on Yoonchae’s shoulder for a second before dropping it self-consciously. “Dude, it’s not even a little bit your fault. I’m not freaking out because of Bradford, I’ve just got my own shit. I swear, I’m fine.”

Yoonchae finally looked at her, searching her eyes like she’d find a lie there. “English is so hard. I don’t know if you understand…”

“I understand you perfectly, Yoonchae. And I really appreciate your concern. Truly.” Megan said as earnestly as she could convey. “I’ve never been to a house party, so it’s not your fault I’m trying new things.”

“I wasn’t really enjoying until you came.” She shrugged sheepishly. “It’s not my thing but Bradford is nice to me. But it’s hard, because he’s not to you.”

He’s nice because he’s trying to get in your pants, Megan thought bitterly.

“So,” Megan made her voice as nonchalant as she could, “I mean, do you like him?”

Her head tilted. “Like how?”

She could feel her palms sweating and occupied herself with nibbling pizza again, “Like romantically. He totally likes you.”

Yoonchae smiled crookedly. “That’s funny Megan.”

“You actually don’t think he likes you?”

“Why would he like me?”

“Why would he-?” Megan couldn’t tell if she was being facetious or if she wasn’t picking up on Bradford’s indiscrete flirting when she could read her like a book. “Probably because you’re pretty.”

Her smile grew slowly. “Am I?”

Megan gaped at her. “No way you just wanted me to call you pretty. I’m asking you a serious question and you’re fishing for compliments!”

Yoonchae smirked. “Because your face - it gets so red.”

“You notice all of this about me, but can’t tell that Bradford likes you.”

She sighed sharply. “I don’t care about Bradford, babo.”

That shut Megan up. She didn’t know what that last word meant, but the implication was clear and her question had been answered, so she didn’t inquire further.

Yoonchae had become invested in her new slice of pizza and her hair was blocking her face from view. Megan didn’t know why her heart was racing - it wasn’t like she’d confessed her love or something - but this conversation had meant something and she was afraid of ruining whatever it was.

The screen room was quiet once again but Megan’s thoughts were anything but. She didn’t have much experience flirting with girls or knowing if a girl was flirting with her. Boys were easier and hardly ever subtle. Megan had the suspicion that if she asked Yoonchae if she was flirting with her, she would tell her. But Megan didn’t know if she wanted the answer.

She fiddled with the tab of a Pepsi can. “You’re more than just pretty, you know? A lot of people don’t give weird, gay band kids a chance.”

“We may be more like each other than you think.”

“Are you also weird?”

Yoonchae tucked her hair behind her ear and huffed in amusement. “For sure, Megan.”

Megan smiled. “You know, ‘queer’ - that word Bradford called me and Lara - it also can mean weird.” Yoonchae’s expression was unreadable and Megan didn’t know why she was talking, but she felt the need. “It’s been more associated with being LGBTQ but when I first learned that word, it was just another word that meant being something different than what people called normal. Even before I knew I liked girls, I knew I was a queer person. It’s kinda funny.”

It was also complicated. By now, she’d surrounded herself with people who supported and accepted her, but one couldn’t ignore that there would always be people who would never support her. She would always remember the friends she’d lost simply by sharing a part of herself they didn’t want to understand.

Yoonchae didn’t say anything for a long time. So long that Megan began to wonder if she didn’t understand or didn’t care. She simply chewed her pizza and gazed at the blank projection screen like there was something playing.

“Am I talking too much?”

“No. I like to listen.”

“You know, people say that to be nice.”

Yoonchae side-eyed her. “You do not trust people.”

Megan cocked an eyebrow. This girl was blunt, but she liked it. “Do you?”

The door to the theater crashed open and a group of particularly boisterous students walked inside the room. No one she recognized, and they glanced in their direction before likely discarding Yoonchae and Megan as uninteresting.

The time on her phone read 10:45 and she had a text from Lara saying that she was going to the pool with Sophia about half an hour ago. She’d lasted at the party longer than she’d expected, but she’d also been keeping Yoonchae from the fun as well.

“Our hideout’s been taken over. Wanna go back upstairs?”

A couple of the students that had come in were messing with the projector as the others chatted in the front row of the room. Yoonchae was watching them curiously as they managed to turn on the screen and began flicking through various streaming services.

“Or maybe you want to watch a movie?” Megan added.

She sighed, glancing at her phone. “No, I promise Bradford I would see - watch him play football.”

Bradford. Again. “Tonight?”

“Ten minutes.”

“You know, you don’t have to go.”

“I do. I promised.”

Megan shouldn’t be irritated at that. Yoonchae was simply keeping a promise she’d made before they’d even had a proper conversation about Bradford, but there was something so annoying about imagining Yoonchae watching some gross mating ritual performed by sweaty, half-naked boys. It wasn’t just Bradford who wanted her. Jealousy was tight in her chest and she hated that she felt this way in the first place.

Yoonchae did that little questioning head tilt, dark eyes glinting almost mischievously. “You want all my attention, Megan?”

Megan, who could only take so much teasing in one night, said challengingly, “Is that a problem?”

Yoonchae startled as if she hadn’t expected that but, before Megan could regret all of life choices that led to her saying that, she smirked. A sharp, dangerous twist of the lips that was gone as soon as it came. Megan could have easily been gaslighted to believe it was never there to begin with.

“Can’t trust. Can’t share.” Yoonchae slowly ticked her fingers. “I learned so much about you tonight.”

“Wowww.” Megan couldn’t even be offended. “I do have good qualities.”

“Good qualities?”

“Yep. I’m nice. I’m funny. I’m pretty. You’ve said so yourself.”

She looked amused. “You remember all I said.”

“Of course I remember.”

Someone laughed loudly at the front of the room and Megan flinched. For a moment, she’d forgotten other people had come into the screening room and had a paranoid suspicion that someone could have been eavesdropping even though they’d turned on Finding Dory. Megan also had a suspicion they may have been high.

“I have to meet Sophia.” Yoonchae stood up and stretched. “Do you want to talk after?”

“I think I’m going to head home.” Yoonchae frowned at her in disappointment and Megan smiled up at her brazenly. “But I’ll gladly take your number so you don’t have to keep asking Sophia to tell me hi.”

“That was one time!” Her flustered expression was cute. She looked like she wanted to punch Megan in the face, but instead she stoically pulled out her phone. “Give it to me.”

Megan smirked. Gladly.

 

Notes:

Apparently, I am trafficking Solarz on my Meichae Minecraft server. And gladly so. But also, wanting someone to order you around like a dog isn’t that deep when you think about it.

Chapter 7

Yoonchae hadn’t texted her.

Yes, it was 8am the Saturday morning after the party. No, that definitely wasn’t relevant.

Yes, she’d been replaying their conversation in her head on repeat since she’d woken up thirty minutes ago. No, she was not completely sure if she’d had pizza stuck in her teeth the entire time they’d been talking or not.

This was definitely a valid use of her morning. Why sleep when you could ruminate?

Then again, why ruminate when you could just jump off of a bridge and be done with it?

Megan twisted onto her side and stared at the congo line of comfort posters that hung on the wall opposite her window to distract her. Twilight (classic), Bottoms (new cult classic), Sofia Falcone (mother?), Joaquin Phoenix in Her (father?), Justin Bieber in his Believe era (purely ironic), Panic! At the Disco album covers (sans the last five years), and countless other pop culture artefacts she’d obtained either naturally over time or from depressed millennials on eBay.

Megan had the horrible realization that she was probably PJ and not Josie in Bottoms. And then she wondered if Yoonchae had ever even heard of such a gay movie. And then she said “Stop thinking about her” out loud like that was supposed to help.

The thing was: she was supposed to have forcefully removed herself from the obsessive preteen Megan phase. 17-year-old Megan had normal crushes that operated on a 9-5 weekdays-only schedule and did not involve waking up and thinking about how soft Yoonchae’s hands were or how good her perfume smelled or the way she seemed to look right through Megan and not baulk at what she saw.

She sighed. There would be no more sleep this morning.

Megan grabbed her phone from its place on the end table. It’d been thirty minutes since she’d woken and she hadn’t even glanced at it yet. There were multiple messages from Lara from around 2:47am.

 

Number 1 Opp Lara Raj

no worry got a ride from sophia and yoonchae

took me home and we ashnikko slumber partied iykyk

jk we didnt :(

u missed out

yoonchae was asleep backseat

sophia said i could take a pic and shes basically her legal guardian so

also wnt my cat back thief

*car

 

Attached was a photo.

It was dark in the car, but she could see the figure of her. Yoonchae’s head was upturned against the headrest of Sophia’s leather seats, strands of dark hair plastered to her forehead, mouth parted just so, eyelids gently shuttered shut, hands neatly folded in her lap.

Objectively, it was a pretty normal photo of a girl sleeping. And yet, because it was Yoonchae, Megan found herself staring at it thinking it was perhaps the cutest photo she’d ever seen. Thinking that maybe she should have stayed at the party just so she could have watched her sleep in real time like a freak. No. Like Edward Cullen in Twilight.

So like a hot freak.

Her finger hovered over the save button, but considered the fact that that was possibly not the best idea. If Yoonchae would text her, she’d gladly make that her contact photo. It was definitely less creepy that way. Right? Probably.

Megan groaned, sat up in bed, and stared at nothing. It was too early to do anything substantial. Waking up anytime before 10am on a Saturday was probably an insult to teenagers everywhere and it was particularly exhausting to herself, because she only woke up early when her brain refused to sleep. She should have stayed at the party.

What was she going to do now? Jog around the neighborhood like those health nuts who look like they have their lives together? Maybe go to a cafe, sip coffee pretentiously, write a memoir, and get hit on by the local barista? Or maybe even…practice her clarinet?

Megan snorted to herself at the last one. Yeah, right. Even less believable than the memoir.

Gradually, she swung both legs out of bed and pressed her feet against the carpet. She decided on doing her morning routine first. This involved: using the toilet; brushing her teeth and washing her face; applying acne cream that didn’t work; glaring at every blemish that marked her face because acne creams were a lie and puberty was real; combing her hair while thinking she could use a haircut; getting distracted by another new pimple; forgetting she needed a haircut; taking half a second to throw together leggings and a shirt, not caring if they matched; briefly considering maybe she could try caring about the things she wore in public; settling on not caring; going back to the bathroom mirror to determine her self-confidence for the day in the reflection.

Keen dark eyes, gently-rounded jawline, olive-toned and symmetrical face, random and persistent blemishes.

That was her.

Megan knew that she was objectively attractive because people told her regularly outside of school. Everyone and their mother must feel the inescapable urge to let a woman know when she’s pretty. Most people assumed teenage girls had low self-esteem - which isn’t inaccurate, high school is rough buddy - but every guy she knew definitely had low self-esteem and being called ‘pretty’ wasn’t some magic fix for girls. Neither was being told to smile more, to wear more makeup, to wear less makeup, or to ignore the haters.

Being a teen was to suffer. Being queer was to suffer. Being a woman was to suffer. Being not completely white was to suffer. Being alive was to suffer.

And maybe the adults should learn to fix the shit they perpetuate first before trying to fix her problems by calling her pretty and telling her to smile more.

Megan’s lips twisted up in the mirror but it wasn’t quite a smile. Internal mini-rants in the mirror usually did not spell out a successful and happy day, but life was full of surprises. It was only nearing 9am and she’d hang with Lara later even if Yoonchae never texted her back and last night was some fever dream she’d conjured up out of pure thirst.

She grabbed a navy blue baseball cap from her closet and pulled the brim low over her forehead, tucking her black hair behind her ears. She couldn’t be in her room anymore. It wouldn’t be unbearably hot outside yet, so she’d jog around the neighborhood and pretend she had her life together. That was a very adult thing to do, wasn’t it?

And so, she jogged.

Band camp actually had the perk of being good for the body - except for maybe a higher risk of skin cancer or something. Megan naturally had a slight build, but she was toned and had marching band kid stamina so the suburbs were no match for her.

Megan lived in the same upper middle-class suburbia complex as Lara. Cookie-cutter two-story houses that came with privacy fences, HOA fees, and neighborhood watch signs. Everyone knew a little too much about everyone else which meant idle gossip. It also meant that the community came together when Mr. Morrison was fighting cancer and helped take care of Mrs. Morrison and their kids. So, it wasn’t the worst place to live.

And jogging was a success. Her heart was pumping hard in her chest, her calves were pleasantly fatigued, and she felt like she’d taken an hour and accomplished something. She’d only thought of Yoonchae once when she’d ran past a storefront mirror, caught a glimpse of her flushed red face and pitstains, and wondered if Yoonchae could ever find that image attractive. If she were a guy, it'd probably be totally hot. Which led to her thinking about Yoonchae watching Bradford play Speedo football and getting triggered all over again.

Then her leg started cramping and she lost her train of thought.

Maybe there was something to the early morning joggers’ masochism.

Back inside her house, she resolved herself to shower before checking her phone again. She could be away from her phone. She didn’t have to check her messages right away. Self-control was an attribute that she had.

So she showered and she listened to mindless indie rock and she pretended that she was not thinking about her phone. And she dried off and wrapped herself in a towel and walked back into her bedroom because patience was a virtue she had little of.

Megan flipped her phone over on her nightstand and tensed, preparing herself for disappointment, but she had a singular notification on her home screen. She broke into a grin at the message.

 

Maybe Yoonchae

This is Yoonchae. Is this Megan?

 

She’d texted her at 10am on the dot. Had she planned this? Why was she using punctuation? Did she secretly hate her? Correct punctuation meant absolute disdain, right?

She added Yoonchae’s contact and, after little hesitation, set her contact picture as the sleeping one that Lara had sent. She responded:

 

Megan

It’s Megan! Thought you lost my number!

Yoonchae

It is 10am.

 

Megan felt her cheeks warm as she texted back.

 

Megan

I’m clingy

 

Bubbles came up. Disappeared. Came up again.

 

Yoonchae

Okay.

Sophia, Manon, Dani invite you to movie night. They want to meet you.

Sophia is saying that Lara can come.

 

Megan blinked at the text because they already knew her, didn’t they? Or, at least, of her. Also, why did they want to meet her?

 

Megan

Did they say why?

 

Yoonchae didn’t respond for several minutes. Megan didn’t know whether she was asking them or just didn’t want to answer the question.

 

Yoonchae

They did not tell me.

Sophia says her house at 7pm.

Sophia is telling me that this is an invitation and not a demand and to stop using periods aggressively.

 

Megan smiled at that.

Two get-togethers in one weekend and Megan was still recovering from the first. Is this what people with friend groups do? Hang out and party all of the time like social batteries don’t exist?

 

Megan

The periods are very you

Demand or invite, i’ll go if you’re asking

 

She threw her phone across her bed after the last text because why the fuck did she send that? Obviously Sophia was in the same room at least, likely reading over her shoulder. Even in text she talked too much.

Megan watched the phone, waited for that damning buzz, and dove onto her bed to grab it when it came.

 

Yoonchae

Then I do not ask. Come.

 

Dear god. Megan stared at the text and found that her hands were trembling a bit. She read it again. “Shittt.”

She was definitely feeling some things right now. Like, when was it safe to assume you were being flirted with? Girls could be confusing but this was different. She considered that Yoonchae could just be blunt. She probably didn’t even understand the double entendre that text suggested, but Megan sure as hell did.

Megan paced her room for a moment, thinking before responding. Whatever this was required more of her than anxiety-fueled texts. Being too much could scare her off, but she also had to balance appearing interested.

She could always call Lara. Lara pulled men and women like it wasn’t a challenge because of her beauty and confidence. And yet, Yoonchae wasn’t texting Lara. She was texting her.

This was on her.

 

Megan

I’ve got to go to the library

I’ll go to movie thing if you come with me

I mean I’ll do the movie thing anyway actually

I just want you to come

 

The response came quickly.

 

Yoonchae

Okay. Where do you live?

 

Megan made sure that she was reading the text right. No games, no teasing, just yes.

It was a relief because she was stressed.

—

The local library was only a 10 minute walk from Megan’s house and she frequently visited for their wide array of audiobooks and their arts & crafts events. There was also something about the calm air of a library with the scent of worn books that she had difficulty reading but still enjoyed looking at. There was a small cafe set up in the back where she’d sat for hours, drinking a coffee and being transported to another world through an audiobook. It was a comfort place and she was excited to share it with Yoonchae.

Yoonchae had arrived at her house on foot about half an hour after Megan texted her address to her dressed in baggy cargo pants and a cropped top that showed a sliver of smooth tanned skin. She had a beige cap pulled low over her eyes like Megan, the top half of her face shadowed in the midday sun. She stood in front of the porch Megan was waiting on with her hands stuffed in her pockets.

“You look nice,” Megan, who had made sure her jeans and t-shirt were neat and matched this time, commented as she walked down her front steps with her audiobook cartridge tucked underneath one arm.

Yoonchae looked down at what she was wearing and her mouth pulled down with confusion. “This is nice?”

“Yeah, your style is nice. You didn’t have to walk far, did you? I could’ve picked you up.”

She shook her head and pointed down the street in the opposite way they’d be walking. “I live, like, five minute walk that way. Not far.”

Megan grinned. “That’s great! You can visit me as much as you want then.”

She huffed a laugh. “What if - what if I come everyday?”

Megan thought about that as they walked side by side down the sidewalk, arms swinging close but not enough to brush. “I think my mom would like you. She’d definitely just set up the guest room for you.”

There was a faint smile beneath the brim of her hat, but Yoonchae didn’t say anything. Megan had the familiar urge to fill the gap in conversation, but it wasn’t awkward so she just let it sit. There were just some things that Yoonchae didn’t feel the need to respond to and Megan was slowly starting to understand that.

“You borrowed what book from the library?” Yoonchae asked after a minute of quiet, breaking Megan from an internal freak-out on whether she’d remembered to re-apply deodorant after her shower.

“Um, book? Yeah, I got -” she flipped the cover towards Yoonchae, “-We Are the Ants.”

“What’s it about?”

“Uh…like…depression? But also, like, meaning and purpose around living?” Megan studied the book in her hand. “But it’s pretty freaking depressing.”

“Depressing meaning…sad?”

“Yeah, but that deep feeling that goes into despair territory, worse than sadness. Empty hopelessness.”

“Why read a book about that?”

Megan shrugged. “I guess, why watch sad movies or listen to sad songs? It’s human emotion. Most depressing books like this have a lining of hope to them and I like to see where each author finds meaning in life.”

Yoonchae was glancing at her face carefully as they walked and she was feeling thoroughly examined.

“Life’s meaning. Do you have your meaning?”

“Asking about my life’s meaning? Take me on a date first.” Yoonchae’s mouth opened and then closed. Megan laughed awkwardly. “Just kidding!”

“You don’t joke as much as you say that you do.”

Megan looked at her under the brim of her hat. Really looked at her and nearly crashed her shoulder into a lamppost. Walking sort of required looking straight ahead. “You sound like Lara.”

“I like Lara.”

“Most people like Lara. She’s pretty great.”

“She taught me an English phrase last night.”

Oh god. “What did she teach you?”

Yoonchae’s smirk was a level above diabolical as she said: “Type shit.”

Megan guffawed. Fucking Lara. She was probably proud of herself too.

“Lara would teach you that, wouldn’t she?”

“I like it.” She smiled at Megan. “Type shit.”

In her accent it was endearing despite how off-the-wall the phrase was coming out of her mouth.

“So you’re on your American slang type shit?”

Yoonchae nodded soberly. “Type shit.”

Forest Grove Public Library appeared on the next street corner they turned onto. A square brick building at the end of the street that was only one branch of many in a bigger library system for their county. Megan opened the front door for Yoonchae and a blast of air conditioning ruffled her clothes.

The circulation desk was directly in front of the entrance and she dropped her audiobook in the dropbox. It was quiet and there weren’t many patrons around at this time of day, just as Megan liked it.

“So,” Megan muttered, lowering her voice to match the environment, “this is maybe my favorite place in town.”

Yoonchae’s head was moving slightly as she took in the place. The computer lab, cafe, and fiction shelves were on the first floor and upstairs were genealogy and archival records, nonfiction bookshelves, study rooms, and lounge areas. It was well-kept, smelled like coffee and worn books, and had an atmosphere of community. The library definitely benefited from Forest Grove taxpayer money, but it was available to anyone who needed a computer or a quiet space to be.

“It’s calm.”

“Yeah, it really is.” Megan led her around the first floor towards the fiction shelves, “I won’t be long, I already know what I want.”

“I am going to…look around,” Yoonchae said. “Will you be here?”

“Yeah, probably. I can give you a tour -”

“No, it’s fine.” Yoonchae took off quickly in the opposite direction and disappeared in between the shelves.

“Oh. Kay?”

That was disappointing. Megan knew that she didn’t own the library, but wasn’t there something romantic about showing a pretty girl around the local public library? It was only a hypothetical, but she had thought about this many times over the years. But alas, Yoonchae had a way of disappearing quickly when she wanted to.

She combed the audiobook shelves for a few minutes until she found what she was looking for: a beige cassette with a simple black cat on the cover, If Cats Disappeared from the World. Another book on her depressingly hopeful novels reading list was in her hands and Yoonchae had not returned from wherever she had gone.

She’d told her she’d be here when she came back, so she walked along the rows of physical books that she would have enjoyed reading if it wasn’t so damn hard. It was unfortunate because there were many books in the library that were only available in paper form.

Megan meandered into the sci-fi aisle and saw Yoonchae, one shoulder leaned against the wooden shelves and an iced coffee in each hand. Megan steps faltered. Had she just been posed and waiting there?

“You got me coffee?”

Yoonchae’s easy smile was visible beneath her cap as she thrust out the cup in her left hand. “I guessed what you may like.”

Megan stared at her and then at the coffee outstretched between the two of them. “You got me coffee?” She repeated, because her brain couldn’t actually get past the simple fact that she’d snuck away from her just to do something kind.

Yoonchae waggled the cup at her. “It’s brown sugar latte. Take it.”

A brown sugar latte sounded suspiciously like something that would have cinnamon in it, but Megan could not bring herself to care. She took the cup from Yoonchae’s cold fingers. “Thank you. Seriously.”

“It’s just coffee,” Yoonchae said lightly, but her smile had faltered. “For last night.”

“Yoonchae-”

“Just let me be nice, Megan.” She smiled again. “You’re going to have to deal with movie night, so you’ll need it.”

Megan paused in the middle of a sip - no cinnamon thankfully. “Yeah, how random that they invited me and Lara.”

“They are -” Yoonchae struggled for a word, “like… prying?”

“Oh. Like being nosy?” She snorted. “Why do they care about us?”

“I don’t know.” She sipped her coffee. It was nearly impossible to see the upper-half of her face underneath her hat, but she could’ve sworn her cheeks were darkening. “Do not listen to what they say.”

Megan squinted at her. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Good.” Yoonchae lifted her head, eyes wide in warning. “For Dani and Manon, you should be afraid.”

 

Notes:

A nice little pop culture chapter. Also, I have no idea if teenagers still hang up posters but I'm just going to assume yes.

Chapter 8

Lara must have woken up around 3pm because that was when she’d answered Megan’s text about movie night with a slew of responses that were dubiously horny but in the affirmative that, yes, she would definitely be attending the event. Megan had no doubt about that. She would stream early or not at all if it meant being in the same room as the Big Three.

This would be a fun night for Lara, but Megan was not as convinced for herself. Yoonchae’s warning was playing in her mind and she had the strangest idea that she was walking into an intervention or an interrogation. Neither made sense unless Yoonchae knew something that she didn’t.

Megan parked at the end of Sophia’s driveway which was much shorter and wider than Carter’s mansion. Her home was a brick, two-story construction with tasteful ivy along the walls and marble sculptures along the cobbled walkway.

“I’ve driven past this house before and I was like: ‘what pretentious asshole lives here’?” Lara said as they walked along the rocky path towards the front door. “It’s so rustic European, giving Bridgerton even.”

“I think everyone who lives in our suburbia kind of counts as pretentious, but I guess the asshole part is optional.”

The front door was not particularly rustic. There was a smart lock reminiscent of a car’s push-to-start button instead of a keyhole and a Ring-type doorcam lit up as they walked up the door.

“The guests of honor have arrived!” Sophia’s cheery voice came through its speaker and there was a whirring sound as the door unlocked remotely. Lara and Megan exchanged a look before the latter turned the handle and stepped inside.

Sophia Laforteza’s house was sophisticated in that old-money way that suggested wealth in quality and class rather than flashy or showy fixtures. Luxury was saturated throughout every portrait, rug, and piece of furniture; it was in the patterned wallpaper, grandiose rugs, and grand piano in the parlor area. It felt as if neither the home nor the family residing in it had ever known anything except for prosperity.

Megan delicately hung her backpack on the wooden coat rack as if she might sully anything she touched. Lara simply placed her bag on the floor next to the rack, half distracted as she took in just the entrance of the Laforteza home.

“She’s like a three-minute drive from my house, but I feel like I’ve moved up two tax brackets.” Lara muttered.

Megan breathed in through her nose. Even the smell of the house was expensive and clean as if dust was illegal past the front door. “It smells like spring. How does a house smell like spring?”

“It smells like Sophia.”

That comment got her a side-eye from Megan, but apparently Lara didn’t realize how down bad she sounded.

“Riiight. Where is everyone?”

The front door had placed them at the end of a long hallway, the parlor with the piano to the right and another sitting area further to the left that Megan could only see inside partially. She couldn’t tell if she was paranoid or if this was actually about to be an ambush.

And then the door to the sitting room slowly opened more and a curly-haired, brown face peeked out at the two of them. This was followed by another face, lighter but still with curly hair, staring at them from behind the cracked door.

“Uh. Hi?” Megan offered, throwing up a hand awkwardly.

Manon flashed a bright white smile at them before throwing the door wide open. “Dani? Do you remember ordering strippers?”

Dani didn’t even blink. “Nope, must have slipped my mind.”

Lara was smiling distantly, goodhumoredly, but she was also staring. The door opening had revealed Dani’s impossibly short shorts and camisole combo and Manon’s simple oversized t-shirt that barely reached midthigh.

Where Lara could easily handle being attracted to multiple people, Megan found that even her crushes were monogamous. She acknowledged the two cheerleaders as being absurdly hot and discarded that information as she scanned the room behind them for Yoonchae but disappointedly saw no sign of her. Lara on the other hand…

“Oh my god.” She heard Lara’s small, frantic voice in her ear. “Why are they dressed like this?”

“Dude, why are you whispering to me when they are standing right there?”

“Come join us. We’re having movie night in the basement, but we were chilling up here while we waited for our guests.” Manon’s eye contact was pinning Megan in place and she didn’t know whether this was just what it was like to be under her stare, or if it was layered with something else. Because she also felt like Dani was looking at her, but every time she glanced over, she was looking somewhere else.

Megan was on edge. She felt like she was being examined as she stood uncertainly at the edge of the hallway.

“Actually Lara,” Dani said casually. Too casually. “Sophia’s all alone in the kitchen and she said that she needed help with the snacks.”

“Done. Point me to the kitchen.”

Megan had a bad feeling. “Lara…”

Dani pointed down the long hallway. “That way. Make a right at the end.”

Megan watched Lara - unawares of the tension that she was feeling - slide down the hallway in her socks and then turned back to Dani and Manon who were both now looking at her. Dani with a stern, unreadable expression; Manon with eyes that were bright with mischievousness.

Damn it. So this was a trap.

The two girls gravitated towards her in the corridor in a way that was lowkey blocking her from leaving. Megan smiled awkwardly. “You know, I think I can help with popcorn too…”

Manon’s grin was sharp and radiant as leaned against the wall next to her. “So, you and Yoonchae, huh?”

“Um, what?!” Megan said a bit too loudly, startled by the question and her voice echoing down the hall. She spoke lower, “What?”

“You two made quick friends.” Her voice was innocent but that expression on her face was anything but.

“...sure?”

“Today, it was so weird, we were going to go to brunch and suddenly she said she couldn’t come because Megan wanted to go to the library.” Dani’s gaze was penetrating as she stood directly in front of her.

“Yoonchae loves brunch.” Manon deadpanned. “So imagine our confusion when she bailed for the library.”

“But the library is hella cool.” Megan said a bit offended.

Their faces were incredulous.

“Whatever. This isn’t about the library. This is about you.” Dani jabbed a finger in her direction in a way that would be comical if not for her deadly serious scowl. “What’re your intentions with Yoonchae?”

Radio static was playing in her brain. “I’m sorry? Intentions?”

“We’re not dealing with another weirdo with an Asian kink.”

Megan’s mouth hung agape for a moment. “Guys, what? You know I’m half-Chinese, right?”

Dani and Manon exchanged a long look where words were being spoken through raised eyebrows and shrugs only. They glanced at Megan and then at each other.

Manon's mouth twitched like she was about to laugh, “Yeah, Dani. How’d you not know that?”

“Manon, I swear.”

“Also,” Megan added, as she felt the irrepressible need to, “we’re just friends.”

“Uh huh. She’s definitely been talking about you a lot.” Dani said.

Megan felt her something in her chest flutter. “All good things I hope?”

Manon was still smiling as she said, “If they weren’t good things, I would’ve fucked you.”

“I’m sorry?!”

Dani side-eyed her. “You mean fuck her up.”

“No, Dani. I said I would’ve fuck her.” She gestured at Megan offhandedly, “Don’t be rude. She’s got the hot band geek thing going.”

What the hell is going on? Megan had a weird sensation of entering the Twilight Zone and that there was no way that these were the two of the three most popular girls in her school.

Megan looked to Dani who had an expression of patient exhaustion, like this was not the craziest thing Manon had said today.

“Do you want Yoonchae to kill you, Manon? Is that what you want?”

“Please. She doesn’t have the guts.” She laughed at whatever was written over Megan’s disbelieving face. “I’m kidding though. I’m not trying to get with you.”

“That’s…a relief?”

“But we know you’ve got a wittle crush on Yoonchae.” Megan opened her mouth to refute this, but Manon held up a finger. “Don’t deny it. We aren’t dumb.”

“What makes you different from every other person with a crush on Yoonchae is that she actually gives you the time of day. For some reason.” Dani said bluntly, analyzing her like she could find the answer why in her face. “You must know by now: this isn’t a movie night; this is a vetting process.”

This was a lot of information that Megan wasn’t sure what to do with. “I mean - what are you saying? Yoonchae likes me?”

Immediately, Manon lifted her hands, guarding herself from the apparent evil of that statement. “Whoa! We are not saying that! Are you trying to get us killed?”

“We don’t know her sexuality, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Dani added.

Megan pushed down that disappointment and gestured between the two of them. “Okay, so what’s all this for? She doesn't even like me like that.”

“My sweet summer child, if we don’t know what’s going on in Yoonchae’s head, you probably don’t either.” Manon placed a gentle hand on Megan’s shoulder. “Chin up dear, you’re probably hotter than you think.”

Megan had a suspicion that Manon was unhinged, like giving Lara a run for her money kind of unhinged, but it wasn’t an unkind thing for her to say. Even if it was odd.

“Think of tonight as a background check,” Dani said. “If you don’t pass, we’re putting you in the trash with Bradford.”

“If you think that I’m anything like Bradford, I will actually be so offended.”

The front door quietly opening caught Megan’s attention and her breath did a little hitch as Yoonchae walked in the door wearing loose gray sweats and a massive hoodie that swallowed her frame. She paused as she took in Megan, cornered and sweating in the hallway, and sighed heavily.

“Guys,” Yoonchae’s voice was raised in a partially pleading whine that Megan had not heard from her before, “we talked about this.”

Manon and Dani turned at the sound of her voice, one looking as if caught doing something wrong, the other cheesing like the cat who caught the mouse.

“Yoonch!” Manon exclaimed. “We were just talking about you!”

Her gaze softened as she made eye contact with Megan. “Are they bothering you?”

The two cheerleaders had carefully neutral expressions as they waited for Megan’s response. She had half the mind to rat them out and see if they were rightfully scared that Yoonchae would kill them. However, she also didn’t want this night to be awkward because Yoonchae (probably) didn’t know that she had an embarrassingly large crush on her and Megan unanimously decided this would be the worst way for her to find out.

“No, they’re cool. We were just…chatting.” Megan tried for a smile, but Yoonchae’s eyes only narrowed in suspicion.

“About me.” She flicked her gaze over to Manon and Dani. “What about me?”

Manon opened her mouth, but Dani quickly cut her off. “We were asking about your trip to the library.”

Not entirely a lie. However that very brief part of the conversation had happened a long time ago and Megan didn’t feel great about the omission.

Yoonchae dropped the bag that she was holding onto the floor, glaring at all three of them before she walked past and towards the kitchen without another word.

“I think she’s mad,” Manon muttered.

“I didn’t lie!” Dani protested.

Megan just stood in place feeling equal parts like shit due to lying by omission and frustrated that she had to take the fall alongside these two when she’d done nothing wrong.

“So, is this really a background check or is it sabotage?” Megan snapped as soon as she was sure Yoonchae was gone. “Because this isn’t some kind of game to me.”

“Relax, Megan,” Manon pushed herself off of the wall, “she’s not mad at you.”

“You do realize that’s not better, right?” Dani and Manon were nonverbally communicating again and Megan was sick of it. “I’m not some pervert, I don’t have a kink, and I sure as hell am not Bradford. So can we just not be weird about this?”

She hadn’t expected to go on a miniature rant and, judging from the two cheerleaders' faces, neither did they.

Manon sighed. “Yeah, alright. I’ll be the first to admit we’re overcompensating a bit.”

“But she also doesn’t know all of the shit we’ve dealt with this summer,” Dani was scowling, arms crossed over her chest. “People see Yoonchae and they want to take advantage of her.”

Now they were unsettling her. Megan looked between the two of them. “Did something happen this summer?” A million dark thoughts were swirling inside of her mind. “Did Bradford do something?”

“Nothing to worry about,” Manon answered after a quick glance at Dani. “We’ve got shit handled.”

“That’s not answering my fucking question.”

“God. No, Megan. Nothing happened. It doesn’t mean we don’t hear the shit people say about her. We’re looking out for our girl so nothing does happen. Understand?”

Megan felt like she was burning with anger. She remembered the way Bradford talked about Yoonchae on the first day of school - the disrespect and the entitlement. Of course he wouldn’t be the only one. Of course people were shit. Because, of course, seeing a young girl in a new country would make one immediately think innocent and vulnerable.

She gripped the collar of her t-shirt and aired herself out. Her pits were sweaty, her face was probably flushed. “Yeah, I get it.”

It was an awkward end to the conversation. Dani sort of nodded, turned, and left as fast as humanly possible. Manon moonwalked down the hallway while shooting finger guns in her direction before disappearing to the left.

These girls were strange and invasive, but they likely meant well. Megan was really trying not to be irritated with them. She was the one who’d recently gotten to know Yoonchae, not them.

She stood in the hallway a minute longer and considered whether she should try to find Yoonchae. It didn’t sit right with her if she was upset, but Manon might have had a point. She might not even be mad at her.

Megan decided to venture further down the hallway, past the parlor and sitting room and half-bathroom to where it diverged. Left or right.

She could hear Sophia’s laugh somewhere down to the right and Lara was saying something that she couldn’t make out. To the left was another long hallway, but there was an open door with a set of stairs leading down. The basement. Might as well find a good seat before the movie began.

As Megan descended the stairs, she saw that only Manon was in the basement, sprawled out on a floor pallet of blankets that was bracketed by two opposing armchairs and a three-seater couch.

She twisted her head away from her phone and took in Megan. “Yo, I know we just had our first fight like five minutes ago, but we’re good, right?”

“Our first fight?” Megan couldn’t help but laugh at the wording as she carefully stepped her way over to sit on the end of the couch, sinking into the cushion near her head. “It wasn’t a fight.”

Manon raised her shoulders to her ears, resuming her scrolling, “Disagreement, misunderstanding, whatever. Honestly, I’m cool with you. Marching band kids think cheerleaders don’t notice them but some of us do.”

“Oh?” Megan wasn’t sure what to make of being noticed throughout the years by Manon or Sophia or any other possible cheerleader she may have had a crush on over the years.

“Yeah, you were cute and you always held the door open for everyone. I noticed you.” Her smile was coy. “And so does Yoonchae apparently.”

“I’ll be honest, I can’t tell if you’re flirting with me right now.”

She laughed, “Innocently. I don’t mean anything by it, but I plan on doing it for the rest of tonight. Fair warning.”

Megan raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Science.”

“Science?”

“Scientific hypothesis, babe.”

Manon had a carefree way of speaking that made her plan - or lack thereof - sound perfectly reasonable, no big deal. And yet.

“Okay,” Megan said cautiously, “but what theory are you trying to prove?”

“Alright guys! Let’s get this party started!” Sophia’s voice rang out from just above their heads.

There was the thudding of several pairs of footsteps on the basement stairs and Manon simply winked at her before opening her phone again. Sophia came down the stairs first with two bowls of popcorn, Lara behind her with her arms loaded with sparkling juice and soda bottles, Dani with cups and candy, and finally Yoonchae with more blankets.

Yoonchae wasn’t looking at her even as Megan tried to catch her eye. She shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

Sophia thrusted a bowl of popcorn onto Megan’s lap as she passed by her and Lara slipped a bottle of sparkling apple juice next to her.

“Wow,” she mused, “the service here is crazy.”

“Guests get special treatment,” Dani said and her smile suggested the double meaning behind the words.

The four of them dumped the hoard of supplies next to Manon on the blanket pallet who reached out and grabbed a box of Skittles. Yoonchae kept one blanket and sat stiffly on the couch next to Megan without a word or a glance, obviously sulking.

Megan couldn’t help the smile creeping up her mouth. She’d still sat next to her, even if the inches of space between them felt like a chasm. She elbowed Yoonchae gently.

“Hi. I missed you earlier.”

Yoonchae didn’t look at her. “You seemed busy.”

“I was being…gently interrogated.” When she didn’t respond, Megan guiltily whispered, “We can talk about it later, promise.”

Yoonchae finally looked at her for only a moment, brown eyes searching her face before she reached into the bowl in Megan’s lap and dug out a handful of popcorn. “Whatever,” she muttered. But her pout was gone.

Conversation was going on around them, but Megan could feel the attention just like earlier. She was positive it wasn't a coincidence when suddenly Sophia piped up, “A little birdie told me that Megan’s favorite movie is Twilight, so that’s what we’re watching tonight.”

“No way! I love Twilight!” Manon grinned and gestured towards Megan, “You picked a good one, Yoonch.”

If looks could kill, Manon would’ve been twice dead this evening. “I - I picked? I didn’t pick anything!” Yoonchae spluttered.

“Sounds like Lara’s been telling all of my business,” Megan said pointedly, giving her a pseudo glare to her friend on the other side of Yoonchae.

“You love Twilight, Manon loves Twilight. It was perfect.” Lara said without a hint of remorse.

“We’re like soulmates.” Manon glanced back at Megan with a small, conspiratorial grin. Megan rolled her eyes at her. What was she trying to prove here? “Let’s say the hottest character together to prove it. One, two…Emmet!”

“Alice!”

“Oh.” Manon pursed her lips. “Your rawr xd ass would say Alice.”

“Okay? But literally who gives a fuck about Emmet?”

“Um, me? I would give a fuck so many times.”

“Foul!” Dani exclaimed from the armchair on the other side of the room. “Absolutely no.”

“Manon…” Sophia said from the other armchair with the weary exhaustion of a single mother.

Megan was trying and failing to hold back a laugh. So, Manon was definitely weird, but she was funny.

Yoonchae held a handful of popcorn halfway between her mouth and the bowl, looking between the two of them uneasily. “What is happening?”

Lara snickered as she reached over to Sophia’s popcorn bowl. “I dunno Yoonchae, but I’m here for it.”

 

Notes:

I have the most disorganized, neurotic writing process. I’m over here cranking out one sentence every 10 minutes, but it is done. I'm chilling *smile*