Work Text:
Yuuta grew up in an affectionate household.
His parents were young, inexperienced, but lovingly, nonetheless. As a child he was quickly habituated to long hugs, hair ruffled with affection, and squishing his dad’s face between his small chubby hands so he would make funny faces during their playful squabbles.
It was easy to be happy, even because he got spoiled a bit more than necessary, and it wasn’t really hard to make friends at that age. All in all, he was always surrounded by people and showered with affection – his loving family, playing tag and handholding with his classmates and neighbors.
Then his little sister was born and, contrary to his parents’ worry about his eventual ‘jealousy’, things only got better with the addition of a little bundle of laughter and joy who followed him around the house providing him with even more hugs and affection.
Then he got sick. Things got sidetracked for a bit because of that, with him being more in the hospital than at home, but it could have been worse – he met and become friends with Rika, and his family was visiting him whenever possible, even sometimes bringing along some of their neighbors and classmates.
He felt a little lonely, and the doctors scared him a little, but Rika was there, and she still was when they both got out of the hospital. Quickly, he became familiar with the feeling of Rika’s hand in his own.
Then Rika died. And… It all stopped.
That very day and the days after he was terrified. Not only because the concept of death was yet something not yet completely understood by his young mind, but mainly because of that floaty enormous monster that kept following him muttering his name. It scared him endlessly, and it was threatening every person who got too close resulting into him straight up refusing any kind of comfort which of course did nothing but alarm his parents and pretty much everyone who was around him – but for a good reason.
He vaguely remembers seeing a therapist that was trying to convince him that there was no way Rika could harm anyone trying to console him, only to be proven awfully wrong, making Yuuta wait up the remaining time sitting extremely still in a room with a body cramped into a ball and blood splattered everywhere.
After that, no one else tried to comfort him, and refrained from doing so, even when the urge got too much.
For six long years nothing but static filled his ears. He was lonely and cold, missing the warmth of his family more than anything else.
That’s why the sudden change with his entrance in Jujutsu High had literally thrown his life upside down. It was a bumpy road, right at the start, but it got better immediately. His new classmates, who were just got beat up by Rika, didn’t avoid him like the plague.
It takes a couple of months, but he manages to get closer to all of them, with the Night Parade of one hundred demons only being a catalyst to bring them further closer together.
Honestly, it didn’t surprise none of them that they all started to sleep together after that event, all huddled up in the common room, injured and patched up and trying to make best of the little space they had.
His favorite memory up until know is when he woke up to Toge still sleeping peacefully tucked into his side, Maki on the cursed speech user’s lap, and Panda sprawled near their thighs. Yuuta, in that moment had started to slowly, truly realizes he’s allowed to be clingy again, that he’s allowed to enjoy this moments – and he’s taking in it well, he notices. He sleeps easier.
At some point, to which none of them could really tell when it started, sleeping alone had become quite the rare occurrence, then the second year students, and everyone else came back, so they unofficially ended it there, even if that still happens some day during the weekends with even the upperclassmen joining in.
That’s the same period in which Yuuta starts to really pay attention to little things – he realizes that Panda’s soft paws on his shoulders are becoming something safe and familiar, Maki’s playful shoving him around, feet tripping him, fist bumps are anchoring and reassuring, and Toge…
Toge has also a weird relationship with touches, the kind of pull and push away. He’s gotten better at it, but there still are some instances in which the cursed speech user feels the need to let out a shuddered breath to balance himself, and yet.
Toge’s shoulder bumping into his as they sat together, hair slightly tickling his neck when his head rests, their fingers brushing closely, are definitely something else that leaves his skin tingling, aching in a way that would later bring Yuuta to approach him again, stammering unsurely as he asks for a hug that makes him feel like he can finally breath again.
He just wants to stay close to him and the occasional two or three movie nights where they always end up in a cuddle pie on the couch isn't enough, and ever since Toge had told him (blushing and covering his face in his gym uniform on Yuuta's bed) that he just has to ask, he stopped shying away and trying to find any stupid excuses just to be close enough to touch.
That’s why Yuuta had easily started to sneak out from his room to go to Toge's, way past the nightmares and the fear of an unknown place, just so he could see the cursed speech user a little more, basking in the warmth of how close they got.
Yuuta loves to wake up to a smaller back pressing close to his chest, his own longer legs perfectly curling around shorter ones, and his warm breath and nose buried in messy, soft light hair. So when it happens, now definitely more often than before, that he wakes up before Toge he just curls his toes slightly, stretches a little and breathes in Toge's scent, bringing him even closer.
It’s the best feeling in the world, and it never fails to decompress his anxiety, maybe not even that different from the relief of an anxiety settling down in his guts right before a mission, or during a surprise exam from Gojo, or when he has to speak up alone to the cashier, or – …
Well, it might just be another thing entirely.
It's like the first weeks in which he was absolutely scared shitless to even stand next to the cursed speech user, but at the same time it's a completely different thing, because, despite the uncomfortableness, it's... Never mind, he just can’t wrap his head around that certain word.
But he knows he wants to be that close, and it’s like his stomach aches to get closer when he’s apart for too long or when something prevents him from getting closer.
Like right now – Yuuta is back home very late in the evening from a long three days mission, since Ijichi decided it would be better to optimize time and travel during the night so they could properly rest back home, which would be now.
But Yuuta’s plan of silently sneaking into Toge's room and slip in under the covers with him had been absolutely destroyed by the sight he stumbled upon in the common room.
He knew for a fact that pretty much everyone was out on missions in these days, so it wasn't really surprising to see just Toge and Kirara sleeping on the couch probably in the aftermath of a movie night.
Kirara was sitting on one end of the couch, leaning on the armrest, while on her legs lay Toge's head with his messy spikes (and Kirara's hand between them), his face half covered with a couple of blankets he was engulfed with.
It's still... Weird, to see them like that. To see Toge being close to someone else, especially since the cursed speech user wasn’t the type to initiate contact – even with Yuuta, Maki and Panda, definitely the closest friends of his, he barely just started to reciprocate the mundane affection gestures. Yuuta’s used to see Toge with them, though, but with the senpais, on the other hand…
Toge’s definitely close with them too, and it makes sense since they knew him longer, noticeable in the way Kirara calls Toge ‘pumpkin’ and ruffles his hair. Sure, her and Kinji pampers all of them first year students endlessly with gifts and surprise dinner takeouts, but there always seemed to be a particular attention towards Toge that made Yuuta feel weird and on edge.
Last time he felt like that, he had basically whisked away Toge from their senpais to refuge in his room, but that’s not an option, right now – he’s sleeping, rather peacefully. Both of them are.
Toge did encourage him to sneak him into his bed even when he’s asleep, and Yuuta had become brave enough to even go close to him and steal a hug or an affectionate touch when he felt like it, since Toge never said no.
So, maybe, he can just... Sneak in slowly at the other end of the sofa, rest his head on Toge's curled legs and call it a day, hoping to not wake up sore all over, but between his bed (alone) and a possibly uncomfortable nap (with Toge) the choice is pretty obvious.
And that's what he does, instantly relaxing as he lays down, even though having miscalculated the available space he ended up tucking his face on Toge's side and putting his arms around the shorter's legs over the blankets, which he discovered was a very comfy hugging pillow.
He's finally home, sleeping right where he wanted to, next to people he trusts and that exist outside his own head. With that thought in mind, Yuuta peacefully fell asleep.
After what felt like a mere five minutes, he's woken up by a finger probing his cheek, and a very familiar singing voice.
"Yuuta, Yuuta-chan~"
Yuuta feels so groggy and sleepy that he has to struggle not to whine in protest like a child, burying his face on the warm and soft fabric in front of him and try his best to ignore the wake up call.
"Welcome back home, Yuu-chan." The finger came back restlessly, and he tried to lazily swat it away.
"Toge missed you, you know?" Kirara insisted, knowing quite well what buttons to pry to obtain what she wants.
In fact, at that, navy-blue eyes finally opened with a soft grumble, his head peeking from behind Toge's back, earning a soft giggle from the girl that only prompted a small 'what' with a voice still rough from sleep and a half glare for being disrupted from such a comfortable sleep.
"I'm going out on a mission, okay? Toge-chan was feeling a little sick, so look out for him."
"Yeah." Yuuta answered hastily, lightly rubbing his eyes. "Of course." He adds, now definitely waking up.
"Say hi from me when he wakes up, and try to not catch a cold, too." She waved him off with a wink.
"Will do." Yuuta assured her as he slowly stretched his legs and arms, before curling again over Toge’s back and carefully sliding his arm under the cursed speech user’s head to make him more comfortable.
While adjusting their position, now that they had the whole couch for them, Yuuta gently sneaked an hand on Toge’s forehead, softly clicking his tongue in disapproval when he found it way warmer then his own hand. The cursed speech user looked pale, but for not at least he didn’t breath too raggedly and was sleeping rather peaceful, so Yuuta simply tucked the blanket a little tighter around them and carefully laid on his back, letting the other boy curl up at his side.
Lazily watching his own feet moving around over the armrest, Yuuta pondered. Toge might be getting sick... That means he probably won't be able to prepare breakfast or meals, even though knowing him Toge would try to, and Yuuta will stop him despite earning to eat whatever he would cook for three days ago when he went on the mission.
Honestly, he's just fine like that - holding him close and waiting for Toge to sleep a possible fever off and maybe even get more sleep himself.
Another half an hour passes before Toge eventually starts to shift from where he was pressed into his side, head rolling around just enough so that sleepily lilac eyes could peek at him, and Yuuta notices the drowsy and slightly teary look that normally accompanies a fever.
Yuuta's about to ask him how he feels but as Toge closes his eyes again and lazily drags his arm over his chest Yuuta zips his mouth shut and remains as still as possible while Toge even nuzzles closer, enjoying the feeling and engraving in his mind this small moment. Sure, he's sad that Toge’s actually starting to run a fever, but if a sick Toge is a cuddlier Toge...
“Toge.” Gently, Yuuta poked the boy’s cheek, smiling affectionately when Toge lightly scrunched up his nose in response before opening his eyes again.
“How are you feeling?” He asked with sympathy, seeing the other even struggle to keep his eyes open, lazily rubbing them.
.
.
.
.
.
Toge hated being sick. It made him weak, especially during his sleep, where far pushed back memories come back to taunt his mind. Even if they are all fuzzy, mixed up and confused with one another in dreams he often struggles to remember clearly, they leave him unsettled, nonetheless.
The only clear crystal memory is – a small hand circling around his ankle, reassuring, and then screams and yells of a girl begging, he gets thrown on the ground, then he opens his mouth and dares to speak to try to save his sister but –
He can’t speak, he can’t, because something burning his skin, his sigils, but he can’t rip them off.
Usually that makes Toge wakes up with a jolt, his breath caught in an inhale, only to immediately try to quieten down his own breath because he can’t give himself the opportunity to slip up. Yet this time, he felt like his worse recurring nightmare had been interrupted and quickly washed away to the back of his mind, further being put back by the pressing incoming headache.
It’s still there, but – waking up to see Yuuta, helps Toge a lot. Even if he feels all drowsy and tired, he feels surrounded by something safe and familiar, more than Kirara-senpai’s or anyone else’s presence and touches.
Yuuta gently probs his cheek again, and Toge realizes he’s been asked a question, but he also remembers that Yuuta probably just got back from the mission he went on, so the information kinds of overrides his brain and answers with a question of his own.
“Takana?” Toge mentally grimaced at the sound of his voice, barely above a whisper, and closes his eyes feeling relieved when a cool hand brushes over his forehead.
“It was easy enough, thankfully.” Yuuta tells him gently, keeping his hand there, and since Toge still had his eyebrows still slightly frowned, he added. “I didn’t get hurt at all this time.”
Yuuta smiles when Toge relaxes his frown, exhaling slowly and inching closer to the palm of his hand. Noticing the other falling back asleep, he muttered mostly to himself, absently brushing some rebellious strands with his fingers. “You’re not feeling good at all, are you…”
He continues his ministrations for a while, until he’s sure the other’s fast asleep. Toge’s fever doesn’t look like will lower anytime soon, quite on the contrary it seemed like it was spiking up, so Yuuta decides to prepare for breakfast, maybe quickly see Shoko to get some medicine.
Carefully and slowly, Yuuta detaches himself from the sleeping boy, making sure he stays cocooned in a nest of blankets and placing a small pillow behind his back, hoping it would still give Toge a sense of something warm and comforting pressing into him.
Soon enough, Yuuta was cutting some bread, preparing Toge’s favorite breakfast and hoping he would still be asleep to make a surprise, so, it wasn’t intended when he focused a little too much on the knife he was holding, some blurred memories passing through in a blur.
He half expected Rika to come out and dislodge his wrist in order to twist the knife in his hand and make it unusable. Only that, of course, this time nothing happened.
It was a bittersweet memory, one that brought him back to his parents’ house, consequentially making him wonder how are they, how much his little sister has grown in this half year they haven’t seen each other… Not that they were hanging out that much, since he was stuck with Rika and made it an horror house.
Yuuta wonders if he’ll ever be able to see them again. If they wanted to see him again.
Being in Jujutsu High up until now, he’s never heard someone talk about vacancy or returning home for the festivities. If Christmas hadn’t end up as disaster as it did, would they have been granted the opportunity to go back to their families for a few days?
Well, Panda’s family technically was the school’s faculty, so he doesn’t count. Maki definitely didn’t want to go back to her family. And Toge…? Now that he think about it, no one as ever mentioned his family, not even Toge himself.
That makes him wonder…
“Yuuta…?”
Yuuta’s heart skip a bit, for a totally unrelated reason connected to his memories and thoughts. He turns and stare at Toge, somehow up on his feet, definitely looking sick.
Forgetting all behind the knife and the half prepared breakfast, Yuuta turns to him and goes to envelope him into a hug, following the urge of feeling him close added to the protectiveness of seeing him looking so out of shape.
“What’re you doing up, Toge? You should rest.” He tells him once he’s got the shorter one secured between his arms.
“Okaka…” The cursed speech user lamented weakly, nuzzling into his shoulder.
“I wasn’t going to leave you alone for long, I wanted to make you breakfast.” Yuuta quickly reassured, absently brushing the other’s hair.
“Tuna, okaka.” Toge lightly poked his arm. “Takana…”
“Well, you’re tired and sick, so…” The other chuckled, unbelievable at the cursed speech user’s stubbornness. “Do you want breakfast?”
“Okaka…” Toge weakly refused, and Yuuta hummed worriedly, but didn’t insist as he went to feel the other’s forehead.
“C’mon, you’re burning up… Here, let’s get you to bed...”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
‘…’
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
'I...'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Toge remembers the first thought he came up on his own after a very long time, feet bare over the fresh snow with the cold cruelly biting his skin, but still a better kind of pain than what he’s used to endure through.
He has never been allowed to do that, to just sit there at the porch and do nothing, staring up at the seemingly cloudless sky.
For as long as the moment could last, a chilly breeze filling up his lungs, he could either forget about everything else, or think about that.
Honestly, he prefers the former. Otherwise, his hands would twitch on the cold wooden porch, aching to rip apart the talisman over his mouth.
It would be easier, too much easier, to rip it off and tell everyone he sees to die, until he's left alone or until he's the only one left.
Yeah, it would be really easy. In a mere half an hour, maybe, everything could change.
Toge tries not to think about it.
He can't feel his feet anymore.
Still, no one came to search for him. He's not needed yet, so he doesn't move, and he doesn't have to exist (as an object, as a weapon).
He's just there, breathing.
And his fingers twitch.
Yet he doesn't move.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
‘I can't do this anymore.'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Too much time has passed, and no one came to call him out yet.
It’s weird. Toge absently wondered if that meant punishment would be harsher.
He finally brings himself to pull out the feet up from the snow, the aching numbness making it difficult to bring his knees up, but he manages to do it anyway and hugs them near his chest.
Only just then, footsteps reach his ears, but they're not familiar. It's not the sound of traditional shoes clanking against the tatami, and maybe that's what makes him turn his head in mild curiosity.
He's definitely not from the family. Too tall, hair too white, and eyes hidden behind sunglasses.
'Whoever you are.'
Toge pleads in his mind, as the stranger got closer.
'Kill me.'
He doesn't. Of course not.
He just stops and look at him.
Nothing ever went as Toge wanted.
"Inumaki Toge, is it."
It wasn't even a question, but he nodded anyway, and a large grin reached to him.
"Come with me and become a sorcerer."
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yuuta walked slowly into the large kitchen, yawning into his hand and lazily dragging his feet onto the wooden door.
It was starting to get really cold, and the temptation of laying just another minute under the covers in his bed was getting harder to fight.
Rubbing his eyes to waver off the last remaining of his sleep, he looked around to see the space empty. Looked like everyone else had started to have trouble getting out of bed, and Yuuta, holding down a sigh of displeasure, walked further into the kitchen only to notice a gush of cold wind gently brushing his skin.
He could see it, behind the table and the chair across the counter, one of the wooden doors was open to let in the cold breeze brought by the snow.
Weird, Yuuta thought as he slowly made its way over to close it, no one ever forgets to close a door or a window - especially during winter.
As he got closer and circled around the table, Yuuta soon got an answer in the form of a very familiar head of messy, silver like spiky hair emerging from a blanket.
The cursed speech user was sitting idly on the steps with a blanket barely hanging over his lean shoulders. Whatever Yuuta's mind was conjuring as a meeting died down somewhere on the way up his throat as he catches glimpse of Toge's lilac eyes, strangely spent, distant, as he looked at the endless carpet of snow ahead of him. Without a mask on, it was easier to read his face, but...
He didn't look sad - nor angry even, but there was something wrong about this kind of calmness that irked something in Yuuta's brain.
"Good morning..." He said, finally, and like a spell was broken the cursed speech user turned to him with a slight hint of surprise. "... Toge."
Yuuta concluded, feeling the name rolling off his tongue naturally than he expected and sizing himself up reading to see the other's reaction.
Understandably, Toge looked surprised, owlish blink at him, before his face finally relaxed into a sweet smile as he tilted his head in greeting, his nose and cheeks getting reddish from a mix of cold and something else.
Seeing the positive response, Yuuta got a little more confident and smiled happily, striding to close the gap and sit next to the cursed speech user, who offered him a side of the blanket which Yuuta gratefully took, scooting closer to share it alongside the body heat.
Now letting his gaze drift outside, Yuuta noticed something amiss – Toge's bare feet.
"Aren't you cold? Wait, here, take my slippers..." Yuuta immediately leaned forward to take them off himself and pushing them into Toge's hands, who looked halfway to say something in protest.
Then, he simply relents and put them on, slightly bumping his head on Yuuta's shoulder as a thanks, who was surely wondering why Toge was putting himself to have to bear the cold this way.
Whatever he was thinking, Yuuta's eyes inevitably fell on the bandages on Toge's neck, enveloping his throat and hiding away awful bruises and livid.
Toge, of course, noticed that – and noticed also where Yuuta's head was going, so he lightly flicked his nose making the special grade yelp offended, shaking his head with a reassuring smile when dark blue eyes focused back on his face.
Yuuta was now the one left blinking for a moment, before his lips curled down in a pout.
"I can't help but worry, you've been hurt bad." Toge interrupted him, poking his finger into his arm and giving him a worried look, which Yuuta was happy to find he hadn't trouble decoding.
"I know that, but Maki and Panda are fine now, and..." Yuuta briefly bit down on his own lips, diverting his eyes and sizing the opportunity to slip in what he meant to say to the cursed speech user ever since he woke up after the night parade.
He took a shaky breath in, and Toge's concerned eyes were on him.
"It's just... Seeing you lying there, not moving... Really, really scared me, and then you called my name, and I..." Yuuta stopped, hesitating, but blue eyes finally find the way again to look up in lilac ones.
“For the first time in my life, I wasn’t just scared, but I was angry too.” Those dark blue eyes were shimmering brightly. “So thank you, I don’t think I would have been able to defeat Geto-san without that.”
Toge was left a little taken aback, not really thinking he alone could have had such an impact on the fight. Nonetheless, he was please, and a little embarrassed too, so he smiles easily and nods to the other boy.
Yuuta’s smile was still there, but it came back in a little more awkward, shy, expectant – in a way only Yuuta could manage, really.
"I’ve also been thinking… We’ve been friends for a while now, and I’m really glad this mess brought us all closer together.” The boy was back in his shy self, scratching the nape of his neck out of nervousness.
“So, that's why... I hope it's not weird if I start calling you by your first name, too."
Toge grinned and nodded, how could he not honestly, and soon enough the kitchen filled in with more people, as Panda and Maki greeted them, inadvertently ending that small, sweet moment that managed to make Toge associate Yuuta with the snow.
“Yo, good morning. Watcha talking about?”
Yuuta eyed him, as if asking permission, and Toge nodded eagerly in return.
“Well, back during the Night Parade Toge called my name, so – ”
“What – Did he?!”
“Wait a moment, Toge, we’ve known you longer! It’s not fair!” Maki threatened, her hand propped on her hips threateningly. "Say my name."
"No fair, I know him even longer! Mine first!" Panda was quick to chime in.
"Okaka."
"What?!”
“Why?!”
Toge, the little shit he is, ignored their friends’ protests and turned back to Yuuta.
"Tuna mayo, Yuuta!"
The dark haired boy beamed at him like a puppy, and it was worth all the screeching and yelling going on in the background as Yuuta surprisingly joined in the joke, even if so sweetly.
“Yeah, let’s have breakfast, Toge.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Toge wakes up slowly, memories still lingering at the back of his mind.
There’s a soft, steady chest beneath him, the quiet humming of a heartbeat near his ear, and a scent which he instantly recognizes. That silly, silly boy is going to let himself get sick just so that Toge could use him as a pillow, yet he couldn’t bring himself to move away.
If Yuuta does end up getting sick, well, he’ll repay the favor.
That’s the kind of mentality that eventually results in both of them sick, Toge knows.
… Maybe Kinji-senpai will give them his Xbox just like last time.
That wouldn’t be bad, after all.
.
.
.
.
.
And it happened. Getting the Xbox and being sick, that is.
Only that they’re suffering the consequences.
Maki scolded them for being like kids in kindergarten but still showered them with blankets and medicine and anything they could entertain themselves with, just like everyone else. Even Gojo-sensei would occasionally drop off to gift them with weird dessert that would totally make their already sick stomach more nauseas.
With the excuse of wanting to play with the console, their friends and senpais kept them company during the evenings. When they were eventually left alone again to rest, Yuuta commented positively on the friendly banter they get to witness and Toge easily agreed.
Usually, they would be part of it, but there was something nice in being huddled up together under the blankets watching Maki threatened Kinji-senpai to rip his hair off.
Toge still had it worse, resulting in him napping most of the days away, but the worst part were during nighttime when the fever would shoot up and leave him exhausted, pained and unable to fall back asleep even if he tucked himself as close as possible to Yuuta’s side.
Yuuta, on his hand, seemed to manage to better deal with it, that’s why on the third day, when he was finally able to walk around without swaying and just demonstrating a little cold, Shoko-sensei ordered him to go back to sleep in his own room.
It made sense, for the fact that even if Yuuta was better, could still have the virus in his body, and that wouldn’t help Toge get back into health faster.
Yuuta looked like a sad, beaten-up puppy, but he resolved to let Toge’s immune system fight off the fever in peace, having witnessed how bad it could get. Still, he promised to have Rika keep an eye on him, so he could know if Toge needed to be checked on.
For some reason, this time the fact that they wouldn’t sleep together again heaved strongly.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
For a long time, Yuuta has been focused on his own mental turmoil, with an almost literal inner demon to fight. Luckily for how he is he's never lost sight of the possibilities that others had their own inner demons to battle with.
That doesn't mean he is always capable of getting ahold of just how deep someone's pain could be. How much there is that he still doesn't know.
Such an impotent feeling becomes much obvious in moments just like this. Rika had come to wake him up, whining sadly, and Yuuta naturally expected Toge’s fever to have gotten bad.
He pressed his lips together in a thin line, putting aside that thought as he carefully reached out to touch the boy’s arm. Toge was curled up tightly, hands up to his head as if wanting to protect his ears and there were tears slowly spilling out even from his scrunched eyes.
"Toge..." Yuuta calls him softly, afraid to startle him, but firm enough to hopefully tear him away from whatever nightmare was playing on the cursed speech user’s mind.
Lightly shaking his shoulder, Yuuta climbs on the bed, mumbling worriedly. “Wake up, c’mon...”
Brushing his knuckles again his forehead, he calls him again, until lilac eyes slowly flutters open with tears still spilling over.
Yuuta’s glad that Toge doesn’t seem to have trouble assessing his surroundings as he immediately sat up, albeit shakily and trembling, so he could reach to him and huff a breath against his chest.
“Hey, you’re okay.” Yuuta tells him gently, bringing him closer to his side and helping him staying upright, but Toge weakly shakes his head against the fabric of his shirt as he clings to him.
“Toge…” He continues worriedly as he watches him detaches just enough to wipe at his face with his own sleeve, and Yuuta aids him by wiping of some tears with his fingers.
As most of the snot and tears were cleaned away, Toge turned towards the nightstand, seemingly looking for something, and Yuuta immediately understands and reach for the cursed speech user’s phone to give it to him.
It was really rare for Toge to communicate through texts, especially with Yuuta who understood him effortlessly. Probably Toge doesn’t trust his own voice at the moment, and that thought made Yuuta’s heart clench even more, so he tightens his hold on him.
Toge adjusts himself to sit properly, pressing to Yuuta’s side so he could see the screen as he typed on the app note.
'My clan had always tapped my mouth shut with sigils’
Yuuta read attentively, mind already running wild but letting him write.
‘they said I needed to learn to always keep silent no matter what happened to me'
Toge stopped, torturing his lip, and Yuuta pressed close to him. He watched carefully as Toge’s fingers started to hover shakily over the screen, seemingly lost the courage ha had built up until now, or maybe not knowing how to proceed from there.
'so they made sure'
This time Toge stopped writing abruptly and Yuuta's eyes shot up to him in alarm as the other brought his hands up to cover his face.
"Toge, Toge, come here." Struggling briefly to get under the covers, Yuuta brings him into a hug, settling them down and reassuringly stroking Toge’s back even if the boy had already calmed down immensely. He hears him sniffle, and he let him stay hidden between his arms.
“I’m here now.” Yuuta reassures softly, brushing through messy hair. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Toge exhales shakily and nuzzles closer, and Yuuta is contempt like that, waiting for the other to fall back asleep before turning the small nightlamp off.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yuuta knows he has become overly protective of his friends. But with Toge, it hits differently. He can’t help it.
Ever since Toge told him bits of his life back in the Inumaki clan, the cursed speech user had become extremely affectionate, and Yuuta had eagerly reciprocated.
Eagerly was an understatement. He finally didn’t feel that kind of guilt in searching for his touch or whisking him away from their friends and appreciating him more when Toge easily tag along. They need to head somewhere, during missions or even simply on campus? He takes ahold of Toge’s hand and drags him along.
Panda decided to sit on the couch during movie nights and there weren’t any more seats left? Yuuta would pull him into his lap, arms around the slim waist, and no one bait an eye. Actually, he’s pretty sure Gojo-sensei shamelessly took a picture, but he decided to ignore that.
That progressive growing showers of affection had made Toge’s absence stronger than ever.
Toge has been away on a mission for five days and counting, and Yuuta, he was worrying his mind out and on the top of that, he couldn’t really sleep particularly well lately and that meant his anxiety slipped more easily out of his control.
And today just has to be the day that the book laying in front of him – mockingly so, Yuuta might add – presented to him the statistics of common folks dying accidently by a curse (he knows that he knows that too well!) and sorcerers dying rate yearly both while in and off missions (and what if Toge adds to that numbers?).
“Yuuta! It’s the fourth pen you break this morning, get a grip on yourself!” Maki’s loud accusation made him jump into his seat and almost drop what remained of the pen from his hands, before he automatically squirmed and apologized – to her or to the pen, he doesn’t even know, before Panda thankfully intercepted.
“Psst! Maki, Maki!”
The girl decided to indulge her animal classmate and turned around with a glare and a quick response already on the tip of her tongue because “At this rate we’re going to run out of pens, Panda, and you know it!”
“It is pretty normal though he’s worrying, though. He doesn’t shove down his worry and hide it until it explodes like you do.”
“Hah?!”
"Besides, Toge has left what was, four or five days ago? We know some missions get longer, but the more a sorcerer is away the higher the probability that they’re getting longer to complete the mission because they’re injured. If someone gets hurt, then Yuuta worries which is already pretty normal, because he worries all the time. But if it is about Toge –”
“K-konbu.”
“Yes, about you – ”
Panda continued effortlessly, Maki nodded as a matter of fact and Yuuta promptly shrinker in his seat, pretending to not listen as his classmate shamelessly points to him.
“You get really worried, and if you worry too much then Toge gets worried, and if Toge gets worried then Maki freaks out, but she tries to hide it, but Toge easily notices and then he worries even more and then I get worried because they're all worried and we're really a mess, so-”
Panda stopped to take breath, metaphorically speaking, and turning toward his friend.
“So, Toge, please don't get hurt during your mission or it'll be downhill from there."
A couple of seconds passed before everyone jumping out of his skin, realizing Toge was actually there.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yuuta didn't know what came over him. Actually, he might have a clue. He missed Toge, and he came back pretty bandaged up from his mission, so.
They were both curled up under the covers, facing each other and their hands closed but not quite touching. While Toge was quick to slow down his breath and close his eyes ready to sleep, Yuuta had taken the time to simply admire him, tracing the snake and fangs seal on the boy’s cheek.
He felt a sudden wave of affection wash over him, and they were so close already that it didn’t take that much effort for Yuuta to lean forward and leave a peck on Toge’s cheek.
It was a quick gesture, and when Yuuta pulled away Toge had already opened his vibrant violet eyes to stare at him.
Just as Yuuta's mind was about to start spiraling down, Toge’s hands came up to cup his cheeks and squished them before pressing his lips on the tip of his nose.
Something tugs painfully at Yuuta’s heartstrings, urging him to get closer, and their forehead presses together as sleep quietly claimed them.
Not so strangely as he lazily sneaks his arms around the other’s waist Yuuta quickly draws a conclusion, connecting the dots and thoughts.
It was that kind of overthinking he got in when he thought about Toge being affectionate with the senpais, only this time accompanied with so much more warmth than just jealousy.
He should find a way to explain that to Toge…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yuuta doesn’t think of himself as a romantic. Or well, he would like to be but doesn’t think he can do it.
However, sleeping it off had made something became clearer and clearer in his own mind – he wants to try. That’s why he fessed up the courage to ask the cursed speech user if he wanted to stargaze a little bit before going to bed, that evening.
And that’s how they found themselves sitting on the porch, their bare feet grazing over the grass in the night breeze.
They were sitting close, but not close enough. Maybe Toge’s noticed something strange, or Yuuta’s just spiraling again, but either way he tentatively reaches out to poke Toge’s fingers with his own.
Their fingers effortlessly slide together, connecting over the wooden floor, and Yuuta finally build up enough courage to divert his gaze from the sky.
“Toge.” He starts, prompting the other to turn to him and dark blue met lilac. “I…”
Toge slightly tugged at their intertwined fingers and Yuuta smiled at how shy the boy looked, cheeks and ears red even though he’s sure not looking much better.
Yuuta felt kind of silly for trying to explain how he felt. It’s Toge, after all. Both of them don’t need any words at all.
There’s another sudden urge trying to take over Yuuta as he locked his eyes on the cursed speech user’s lips that now he knew to be soft.
He leans forward, and Toge scoots closer. For some reason, now Yuuta’s heart chose to start thumping loudly inside his chest in anticipation.
A part of him that must be really impatient makes him tug on their joined fingers, his other hand already halfway to place itself on the other’s hip, while Toge’s free hand digs weakly on his arm that somehow elicited a shiver down his back.
Toge’s hand goes up to rest on his shoulder and Yuuta almost forgot what he wanted to do in the first place, and he goes in to connect their lips, but –
The cursed speech user suddenly leaned back, startled and gaining a confused sound from Yuuta, who quickly caught on and followed Toge’s gaze somewhere behind him.
Panda was shamelessly watching them with his big head held by his paws and Maki was eating some chips. Gojo-sensei, standing up behind them, was taking picture with his phone, indicated by the flash going off at every tap of his finger.
"Y-You, what...!" Yuuta sputtered out as he instinctively moved to shield Toge, who still held on to his shirt as he glared sharply at their noisy friends. “Okaka!”
Still trying to process his next words, Yuuta got distracted by the sound of footsteps approaching from behind the little group, horrifyingly watching as Shoko-sensei emerged from the darkness, taking a puff of smoke out of cigarette before she asked. "Did I miss it?"
"We were just getting there, come on, go on, go on!" Gojo cheekily answered, leaving both Toge and Yuuta a spluttered mess.
“Sooner than I expected.” Panda commented halfheartedly.
“Want some?” Maki offered some food at their sensei as she stood closely behind her.
"Were you spying on us the whole time?!" Yuuta sputtered out baffled, receiving a wide range of responses and voices mixing and overlapping each other’s.
“We suffered – !”
“Blah blah – ”
“ – watching you pine for – !”
“ – blah, young love, blah blah – ”
“ – then Hakari-kun, he put a bet – ”
“ – blah, something, something – ”
“ – studying humans relationships is – ”
“ – one and only – ”
“ – freaking nightmare!”
"You creeps..." He mumbled out as he mindlessly took hold of Toge’s hands with his own.
The smaller hands trembled slightly prompting him to open his eyes and watch Toge laughing silently, showing that beautiful smile that made Yuuta fall in love all over again.
As the boy recovered, he gently pulled Yuuta closer and pressed his lips against his cheek in a mock blueberry, making the special grade laugh out of surprise and pure glee as he heard little cheers from their friends and teachers.
.
.
.
.
.
"I can't believe them, honestly..." Yuuta commented halfheartedly, still baffled by earlier events, while he tightened the blankets around him.
"Shake." Toge replied amused, from where he was folding his clean clothes.
"I mean..." The other continued, shifting to lay on his back, before leaving the phrase hanging and turning his head towards the cursed speech user. "You sure you don't want help?"
"Okaka, takana." Toge gently replied, patting his hand on the pile of neatly folded clothes to show he was finished, before getting up from his knees and moving to climb on the bed next to the other boy, who greeted him with a soft smile, and they slowly shifted to fit next to each other, and nothing was really different.
… Well, more or less, Toge noted as he pulled his pajama up to cover his face, shy, and Yuuta tried to look away.
“You know, I think I want to do this everyday.” Yuuta told him, as he was pulling up the blankets to cover them both, before clarifying. “Waking up next to you.”
Toge’s smile, as he wraps his arms around Yuuta’s neck, was more than an answer.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Toge was on his knees, a trail of blood rushing down his mouth, as he grasps tightly the sigil in his hand, crumpling it. Yuuta needs some seconds to put it together, as they’ve just reunited Somewhere off to his right one of Kyoto’s students was asking him something, but he couldn't care less.
Yuuta was only focused on the cursed speech user, memories still fresh overlapping.
He instinctively tightened his katana, Rika promptingly to come out, her scratchy and booming voice whispering out to their enemy 'how dare you hurt Toge!'.
He doesn't care who the guy is, nor what he asked.
He just knows that he hurt Toge.
And Toge was lying in blood, and it reminded Yuuta of that awful, awful Christmas Eve even though Yuuta swore he would never let him get hurt so much –
‘Yuuta…’
Navy blue eyes widened as the scene played again in his head like a broken record.
Toge laying in a pool of blood, progressively getting bigger.
Unfocused violet eyes.
Bloody lips opening to speak.
‘Run awa – ’
"Don’t move!"
Both Yuuta and his muscular adversary froze up, obeying the cursed speech’s command. Dark blue eyes slowly came back into focus, his grip on the katana slightly trembling as he breaths hard through his nose and realized why Toge had stopped him too – Yuuta was going for the kill.
“Yuuta…”
Toge's soft, concerned voice was a great contrast to the strained, weak tone that still plagued Yuuta's nightmares and the image of him being restricted again by one of those awful pieces of paper.
"Takana..."
The cursed speech user repeated softly, concern flickering in lilac eyes.
Yuuta studied him for a moment, before hurriedly raising one arm that wasn't being held by Toge to wipe off blood from the cursed speech user's left side of his face and forehead not minding the way his white uniform quickly got covered in crimson.
“Yuuta.”
“Yeah… Yeah, I know.”
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Yuuta jolts awake, the lingering memory of Toge telling him about his clan, tears staining his shirt and the reveal of a sigil just over his mouth.
“Yuuta…” He instantly releases the breath he was holding, dark blue eyes finally focusing on the boy laying right next to him.
There’s a small shift in the bed as Toge moves himself up to press his lips on Yuuta’s forehead, an hand warm and reassuring over the latter’s chest.
Yuuta exhales quietly, his arm sneaking around Toge’s waist to bring him to half lay on top of him, his weight a sweet reassurance only won over by gentle hands cradling his face and soft lips leaving more chaste kisses on the tip of his nose, and then in the space between his eyes which fluttered close.
Toge doesn’t say or ask anything, he doesn’t need to. As he nuzzles closer to Yuuta’s cheek, the latter already know the quiet question lingering in the air.
“Yeah, better.” He says easily, voice still low with sleep, and he slightly adjust himself just to feel Toge’s lips against his cheek.
For a while, they just basked in warmth and silence, hands lazily caressing one another as Yuuta worked his mind to completely push away the imaginary of nightmares.
“I love waking up like this.”
Yuuta feels a smile pressed into his cheek as slim finger brush through his hair. He tightens his hold on him, so that another silent thought could pass through him.
‘I love waking up to you.’