the walls are closing in (help me find myself again)

by jess3ontop

Summary:

"I am seven now, and I like to look at the stars. They are pretty, like umma."

"Umma says that the bigger ones are dying."

"How is she..." Mira starts, just as Zoey says, "That's kind of sad.."

Or:

The world is far from small, but one girl's journal might just bring the past crawling back into frame anyway.

Notes:

forgive me if any of the translations are wrong for the Korean; I spent too long trying to find the correct translations!

Chapter 1: a life laid bare

It starts off innocent, as it often does.

Zoey and Mira are unsupervised in Rumi's bedroom, as they often are, chatting absently about turtles and TikTok trends. Rumi herself is about thirty minutes away at the local grocery outlet, having promised to make them dinner tonight, and having forgotten until the last moment. It prompted a round of panicked apologies and then the older girl bolted out of the penthouse before either of them could say it was okay.

"I'm bored," Mira groans, flopping onto her back. Zoey snickers at a video she's watching on her phone and holds it up so that Mira can watch. The two of them devolve into a short fit of laughter.

"Same," Zoey says, once she's calmed down. "Rumi won't be back for at least another hour, though."

"Uuugh..."

Another few minutes pass in silence before Mira catches Zoey scanning the room with a familiar look in her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Right now? I'm trying to decide where Rumi would hide things."

Mira blinks and sits up, scanning the room curiously. "Why would she hide anything?"

Zoey shrugs. "I'm not saying it's nefarious, but I mean.. everyone's got a hidey hole for stuff they don't want stolen, right?"

Mira blinks again and thinks back to a conversation she had with her therapist. Then she thinks about Rumi, and how cagey she can be, and decides it makes sense. "True. This is Rumi we're talking about, though. She wouldn't make it obvious."

"Well duh," Zoey says, like it's obvious. "But.. there's not many places to hide anything in here."

She's not wrong. Rumi's bedroom is the definition of orderly. The bed is made (or it was, before they came in), the desk is neatly organized, and there isn't much in the way of personalization. Mira isn't counting the HUNTR/X poster above the bed, though. That would be borderline weird, if it were anyone in the group but Rumi. She was almost more excited for performances than their own fans.

Zoey clicks her tongue and stands. She runs her hands over the sides of the desk, as though looking for a hidden compartment, and then shrugs. "Maybe she just doesn't hide anything in here."

Mira rolls her eyes. "Didn't think you were the type to give up so easily."

Zoey scoffs. "I didn't say I was giving up. I was just talking out loud!"

"Mhhhm. You were totally gonna give up and watch more turtle videos."

Zoey crosses her arms and pouts. Cute. "Was not!"

Mira looks over at the closet. "Why don't you check in there? I bet you'd fit."

Zoey sputters. "Mira!"

Mira grins. "Sorry, couldn't help myself. Seriously, though, you should check."

Zoey groans as she walks over to the closet and pulls it open. It's a decently sized space filled almost entirely with different colored hoodies, which Mira is quick to point out looks like a rainbow.

"Gay," Zoey quips, tipping her head up to look at the shelf above her head. "Ugh, my mortal enemy."

Mira snickers. "Need some help there, babe?"

Zoey huffs and raises herself as high as possible on the balls of her feet. Mira watches this spectacle with amusement, phone forgotten beside her.

"I think I see something," Zoey says, her voice strained. "But I can't reach it."

Intrigued, Mira shifts off the bed and pads up behind Zoey. She places a hand on her shoulder and leans forward.

Zoey points to the corner of the shelf and Mira lets out a soft hum as she reaches over and grabs what she sees, immediately holding it down so Zoey can take it.

"A notebook?" Zoey asks curiously, looking the old notebook over.

"Guess so."

Zoey opens it with her thumb, skimming through the pages in a blur to confirm that there were, in fact, words inside. She giggles a little, clearly excited by this newfound development, and then spins around and smacks right into Mira, who... had not moved.

"Oh, hello there," Mira laughs. "Are you comfortable there?"

"I'm thinking about my life choices," Zoey says, voice muffled through Mira's shirt.

Mira laughs, a plan already forming in her mind. "There are a lot of those, babe, and besides, we have more important things to do."

Slowly but surely, Mira wraps her arms around Zoey. She waits for her to start talking, "Like wh–", and then shifts to pick her up. Zoey yelps, legs wrapping around Mira's middle on instinct. "M-Mira!"

"Oops. I saw this really cute girl and just had to pick her up," Mira grins.

"That is not what that means!" Zoey shouts, face flushed red.

Mira laughs and carries her, gently depositing her onto the bed. Zoey retaliates by grabbing Mira's arm and dragging her onto the bed, and then the two of them are tangled up and the only thing that stops Mira from escalating this into a wrestling match is her girlfriend waving the notebook like a white flag.

Mira sits up and Zoey climbs into her lap. It's adorable, but Mira will address that some other time. Now, she watches as her girl opens the notebook to the first page.

"My name is 루미 (Rumi). I am 여섯 (six). I like to 독서 (read)."

"Awww," Zoey coos. Mira cracks a smile.

(The line is repeated several times before changing into a collection of Hangul syllables.)

Zoey flips the page and gasps softly.

"My name is Rumi, and I am six years old. I like to read, and I like it when my 엄마 (mother) 브러쉬 (brushes) my hair."

"She learns fast," Mira says. Zoey hums and flips through the next few pages. They are all some combination of the same sentence. Eventually, though, it shifts.

"Umma says I can keep this notebook."

Mira blinks, even as she continues to read.

"I am seven now, and I like to look at the stars. They are pretty, like umma."

"Umma says that the bigger ones are dying."

"How is she..." Mira starts, just as Zoey says, "That's kind of sad.."

Mira hums, letting her sentence go unfinished. The question 'How is she learning so fast' goes unanswered.

"I still think they are pretty."

(The page ends abruptly, as though Rumi had nothing else to add.)

"Ever the optimist," Mira mutters quietly.

Zoey leans back into Mira as they continue reading.

"Umma took me to see her friend today. I don't think she likes me, but that's okay. I made sure to keep myself covered."

"Covered?" Zoey frowns. "What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure," Mira admits.

"Umma seemed sad after we got home, but she doesn't like hugs. I'm going to make her some tea."

"That's nice of her," Zoey says, just as Mira asks, "Isn't she a little young to be making tea?"

"I tried to give it to her and she told me to go away. Did I do something wrong?"

"Umma Celine told me to stop calling her Umma."

Mira tenses, ever-so-slightly, at the proclamation. Zoey flips the page, seemingly unbothered by the declaration. She goes through several more pages full of mundane day to day activities, the two of them reading in comfortable silence. Mira taps the pages to let her know when she's finished reading, not wanting to disturb the calm atmosphere.

"The Honmoon is loud tonight. Um Celine says it is because there are no hunters right now. There is nobody to stop demons from hurting people."

"She knew about the Honmoon this early?" Zoey asks softly, like she's trying to keep the moment light when she knows it isn't.

"Demons, too, apparently," Mira points out.

"She doesn't say it, but I think–"

(The sentence, though legible, has several lines over it, as though Rumi hesitated at the last moment but couldn't erase it. The next sentence is complete mundanity, and implies it was written the next morning.)

"Should we skip ahead?" Zoey asks, sounding a little unsure.

Mira wraps her arms around Zoey and kisses the back of her head. "Go ahead."

(By now, neither of them are sure they should be reading this, but the decision was made, and well... Zoey always goes 100%, right?)

Zoey hums and skips forward until the sentences turn into paragraphs.

"Training was difficult today, but it's always that way. I don't know if I'm just not understanding what Celine tells me to do, or if she's going too fast, but I keep messing up and she keeps getting upset. It's not like I want to mess up, but my body still aches from dance practice. Every movement felt like being stabbed."

"There is some good news, though! Celine found them, the two girls I'm supposed to fight with and sing alongside. Their names are Mira and Zoey, and though I haven't met them yet, I already feel a connection growing. It's nice."

"I hope they don't hate me."

Mira squints and leans forward. "Does that say what I think it does?"

"Yeah," Zoey says quietly.

"Why would she think that?" Mira feels her defensive barriers raise at the idea that someone would automatically assume the worst of her. "She didn't even know us."

Zoey doesn't respond right away, her thumb resting over the words. "She could've just been anxious. I was like that when I was younger."

Mira frowns at that. "Sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay," Zoey assures her. "I know you didn't mean it that way. Come on, let's keep reading."

Zoey flips the page and freezes.

"I messed up I messed up i messed up–" (this continues across two pages, barely legible in some places and horribly clear in others).

Mira's heart hurts as Zoey immediately flips away from the sight. She's a little surprised that Zoey didn't toss the journal (because it is a journal, they are reading Rumi's journal) across the room, but she supposed the restraint was impressive.

"i didn't mean to i swear I didn't mean to. it was an accident. he scared me. i thought he was a demon. i'm sorry im sorry im sorry—"

"my name is rumi my name is rumi my name is RUMI. R-U-M-I."

And below that,

"i am thirteen, i am thirteen and it was an accident, i didn't mean to hurt him, i didn't mean to let him see."

"I like the stars, and reading, and I miss when Celine used to brush my hair but she will not touch me anymore, she cannot even look at me and it was an ACCIDENT ACCIDENT ACCIDENT—"

Mira carefully pries the journal out of Zoey's hands when she hears the first stifled sob. She closes it and places it down, holding Zoey close. "Shh, it's okay.."

"I-I'm fine," Zoey struggles to get the words out. "Mira, I just, she's never scared like that. She–she's never told us about anything like that.."

"I know," Mira says, her voice portraying a sense of calm she doesn't feel. This was supposed to be a fun little experience, maybe they'd find a silly confession or something, not... not this. "I know."

"I want to keep reading," Zoey's voice shakes, and Mira wants to tell her no. She wants to, so badly, because Zoey's voice isn't the only thing shaking, and they're invading Rumi's privacy.

She doesn't, though, and somehow Zoey has the journal back in her hands and she's flipping to the page just after the one they were on.

"Celine says I have to learn how to hide it better before Mira and Zoey get here. I don't know how. What am I supposed to do? There are no instructions on how to deal with being a de mistake."

Mira is half a second from snapping about where Rumi got the notion that she's a mistake, but then a shaky hand points to a few lines down and everything stills.

"Stupid Honmoon just had to choose me. Stupid Honmoon just had to pick the mistake. Don't you see what I am? How can you still CHOOSE ME?"

(The line "Your faults and fears must never be seen," is repeated several times with aggressive underlines on each one, like Rumi is reminding herself.)

"She talks about herself like she's not even human," Zoey whispers.

Mira hums, most of her energy dedicated to remaining calm. Zoey is right, Rumi does talk about herself like she's not human, but worse, Mira is already starting to see her habits in a new light.

The constant long sleeves ("I just run cold"), her avoidance of the bathhouse ("Maybe next time").

(The next several pages are filled with nothing but affirmations. It would be a breath of fresh air, if there weren't notes off to the side like ’shedneversaythat’ and 'wrong'.)

"Celine wouldn't train with me today."

"Celine won't look at me again."

"I can't control it, why can't I control it?"

"I fell during dance practice and one of the girls laughed at me."

"Everything aches. They wont stop spreading."

"please I just want one day of rest."

"Fuck," Zoey whispers hoarsely.

"Celine says I wont be whole until the Honmoon is sealed."

"What she really means is I will be a mistake until it is sealed."

"I can accept that. I can live like this until then."

. . .

"Jesus," Mira mutters, blinking rapidly to will away the tears forming in her eyes. "We should—"

"..Why would the Honmoon being sealed fix her?" Zoey whispers, and Mira's mind stutters to a stop.

She re-reads the sentence once, twice, three times.

"Celine says I wont be whole until the Honmoon is sealed."

Anger flares deep in her chest. Celine said what? What did that even mean? Rumi isn't a fucking demon, she's a human being, so what would the Honmoon have to do with anything?

"What she really means is I will be a mistake until it is sealed."

Rumi is not a mistake, she is the farthest thing from a mistake you can get. How could anyone ever think that Rumi is anything short of incredible?

"I can accept that. I can live like this until then."

And she just accepted it?! What else did Celine tell her that made this so easy to accept? What the fuck does any of this mean?!

"I apologized to him today. I didn't even think, I just ran. My feet hurt."

"He is too kind. I don't deserve it. I hurt him."

"He tells me that I'm not a mistake, but I know I am."

"I want to believe him."

(The next several pages are full of black and white doodles of claws and fangs. Neither girl knew that Rumi could draw, but the drawings are intricate, as though she is looking at a reference.)

"What if sealing the Honmoon takes me with it? Is that what you would want?"

"Umma, I am scared to die, but I will do it for you. For this world you left me behind in."

"Will you be waiting? Or will I go the other way? Will I see Appa?"

Zoey says "wait.." in the same moment that Mira says "what?"

Zoey frantically flips through page after page, reading at a speed that Mira can't keep up with. She misses a lot of what's written, but then Zoey seems to find what she's looking for because she lets out a gasp and all but freezes.

It's lyrics from Takedown, clearly having been written recently. It's not the only thing on the page; there are several alternate iterations written in the margins.

"How can you sleep or live with yourself? A broken soul trapped in the nastiest shell."

"A demon with no feelings don't deserve to live, it's so obvious."

"How do I tell them that I can't sing these lyrics?"

"I'd be singing about myself."

The girls are halfway through processing what those words could mean when everything comes crashing down.

"Hey guys, I'm ba..."

Mira's gaze snaps to the doorway.

A grocery bag slips through Rumi's fingers and hits the ground with a soft thud. "W-What are you.."

Zoey, still frozen, scans the words over and over like something will change. Mira slowly slides off the bed.

"Mira?" Rumi whispers, taking an unconscious step back. "Mira, why does Zoey have my—"

"What are you?" Mira whispers harshly. She almost regrets it when Rumi flinches and shuts her eyes as if Mira will strike her, but then she opens them again and her eyes are amber. Mira's eyes widen, and she summons her Gokdo on instinct.

"No," Rumi's voice cracks, and Mira's heart hurts. Her heart hurts because it makes sense. "No, nonono, Mira, please, you didn't.."

Mira points the Gokdo at her. "You're a demon?"

"Please, Mira, I can explain," Rumi takes a step forward, and Mira shifts the Gokdo forward defensively. Rumi freezes, eyes locked on the celestial weapon for a long moment. "You weren't supposed to know, I was going to fix it," She grips the side of the doorframe, and Mira watches, terrified, as Rumi's hand transforms into a claw.

"You're a demon," Mira repeats, and this time it's not a question. "You're a...you're a demon."

"Half," Rumi whispers, sounding so beside herself with guilt that Mira almost falters. Almost. "I'm only half, I just have to... I have to seal the Honmoon, and then I'll be normal, I swear I'll be normal.."

Mira is reminded of the word 'mistake' written so prominently in Rumi's journal, and then she is reminded of long sleeves and her avoidance of the bathhouse. She was tricking them, the whole time. The whole time. "How dare you," Mira breathes. "How dare you do this to us.."

"Mira.." Rumi's eyes widen with fear, and her claws dig into the wooden frame. "Mira, I didn't, I'm not..."

Mira takes another step forward, and Rumi's eyes dart to Zoey. "Don't look at her," Mira growls. "She's mine."

Zoey finally breaks out of her trance and looks up. She gasps softly. "Rumi?"

"Zoey," Rumi's voice wavers. "Zoey, Mira, this wasn't supposed to, you were never supposed to–" her eyes dart between her two best friends and then back at the Gokdo pointed in her direction.

“I'm sorry,” She whispers, letting out a noise dangerously close to a sob before she turns, disappearing from the doorway and running away from her room.

Mira hesitates for only a moment before running after her, exiting the bedroom just in time to hear the penthouse door slam open, the sound of nails against wood, and frantic footsteps moving further away. She makes it to the main room and stops in her tracks, staring at the open door and the claw marks that run across it, like Rumi didn't have enough time to move her clawed hand away when she threw it open.

Zoey steps into the room hesitantly with two Shin-kal in one hand and the journal in the other. For a long moment, nobody says anything.

They just stand there, in a penthouse made for three.

Mira thinks about the fact that a demon has been masquerading as her best friend for who knows how long. Had she always been a demon? Did she get turned and they didn't notice? How could she not notice?

Zoey thinks about the line "Umma, I am scared to die, but I will do it for you," and wonders how that could ever equate to a demon with no feelings.

The moment is broken when Mira slams her Gokdo into the ground with a violence that makes Zoey flinch.

"Fuck!" Mira repeats, over and over again. Her voice cracks each time until she can no longer find the syllables.

Zoey stands frozen in fear. Her Shin-kal clatters to the ground and Mira spins around.

"Zoey–"

"Mira," Zoey breathes, sounding terrified. "Mira, what did you do..."

Mira flinches back. "What?"

"You... you were going to hurt Rumi," Zoey's voice shakes and she takes a step back. "Why would you.."

Mira's eyes widen and she shakes her head. "No, no, I would never hurt Rumi! It–that was a demon, Zo, a demon pretending to be—" her voice cracks as she takes in Zoey's terrified expression. "Zo, she was, it was pretending–"

"She was... she was so scared, Mira!" Zoey's shaking now, one hand gripping Rumi's journal. "Demons don't get scared—"

"Celine says I have to learn how to hide it better before Mira and Zoey get here."

"Demons don't have to learn how to hide!" Zoey screams. There's a split second of tense silence before Zoey breaks down, the journal finally slipping out of her fingers and dropping to the floor.

Zoey's words hit Mira with violence. She glances over at her Gokdo, abandoned where she'd slammed the sharp end into the ground, and realizes that her first choice, when confronted, was violence.

"She was–it wasn't—that wasn't–" Mira's voice is frantic as she tries to explain away her actions, but every word is accompanied by a flash of the absolute fear that crossed Rumi's features.

Rumi had walked into that room a human, and it was only Mira's words, Mira's actions, that changed Rumi into the demonic form that fled. "Oh god," Mira whispers, voice harsh even to herself. "Oh god, what did I do—"

Zoey crashes into Mira and holds onto her like a lifeline.

"Zoey, Zo, what did I—"

"I should've stopped you," Zoey says through a sob. "I was just so–so scared.."

Mira feels the world crash down around her.

Rumi is a demon.

Mira was going to kill a demon.

Mira almost killed Rumi.

"Mira," Zoey whispers, and Mira doesn't hear her. "Mira," she tries again, this time more insistent. "Mira, I don't know what to do."

Mira snaps out of her reverie and holds Zoey tighter. "I–I don't know either."

Zoey sobs into her chest and Mira just barely holds herself back from doing the same.

This is her fault. If she'd just let Rumi explain, if she hadn't chased her away, this wouldn't be happening. None of this would be happening.

"Call Bobby," Mira whispers hoarsely, almost unaware of her own words. Zoey sniffles and nods, but when she tries to pull away, Mira's arms stop her.

"Phone's in... the other room," Zoey whispers, and Mira finally lets go.

Zoey disappears out of view and Mira is left to contemplate everything.

Chapter 2: a man with a mission

Bobby has received many calls from Mira, Zoey and Rumi in his time as the manager of HUNTR/X. It's practically half of his job as their manager.

Sure, half of the time the answer to their questions could be easily satisfied by a google search, but Bobby never told them as much. If they needed someone to tell them something, if they needed him to tell them, then who was he to refuse?

Okay, so he's a bit of a people pleaser. Sue him.

Rumi called the least often, on account of the fact that if she actually needed something from him, she'd just... appear at his door at some ungodly hour of the night. It was a routine built off of years of trust, and while the idea of the younger girl showing up at his home once bothered him greatly, his opinions changed after realizing the kinds of things she'd show up for.

The first time Rumi shows up at Bobby's doorstep, it’s raining. She stands at the door soaked to the bone and mutters the same apology over and over, eyes glued to the ground. Bobby is, admittedly, scared. It's been months, but he still has the occasional nightmare about the way that Rumi lunged at him with fangs and claws.

He hesitates upon realizing that he should let her in. It's raining, for one, but more concerningly, Rumi isn't wearing socks or shoes. It ends up that he has to coax her inside like a spooked deer.

Once she's safely inside and wrapped up in a towel, he tells her that he's going to call Celine and inform her of the situation. This notion of trust backfires spectacularly when the mere mention of his boss sends the girl spiraling again. He spends far too long talking her out of a panic attack, and once she is calm again, he tells her that he won't call Celine if she tells him why.

He doesn't get much, and yet the words 'she will be mad', uttered so quietly that he almost didn't hear her, sets off the first distant alarm bell. He decides that, just this once, he'll bend his morals and drive Rumi back to the estate. It is, after all, his job now.

Rumi doesn't say anything as she gets out of the car. She turns and looks at him, and one of her eyes glows amber in the darkness.

Bobby still manages to wave goodbye before pulling away, heart slamming against his chest.

After that first night, Bobby spent a long time researching demonic heritage. Most of the information he found was either entirely fictitious or theoretical, but there were a few historical legends that dated back a few hundred years that seemed to accurately describe at least some of what she was experiencing.

He'll admit to the fact that, at first, he was learning so he could protect himself. Even back then, he felt guilty as he read through forum threads that painted the young girl as nothing more than something to be... culled. The girl he was getting to know (disregarding their initial meeting) was nothing short of kind, so seeing words like 'manipulative' and 'psychopathic' attributed to her like an absolute is... well, it was heartbreaking, and he may have cried.

Okay, he cried a lot.

(After reading an article that described a ritual to banish a demon that was straight up torture, he almost couldn't stand to look her in the eyes without feeling bile rise at the back of his throat. Why would he ever want to do something like that? Why would anyone?)

The second time she shows up at his door, he's been working for Sunlight Entertainment for just under a year. He's on the couch doing last-minute cramming for an exam when he hears an almost inaudible thud against his door. Presuming the noise to be wind, he doesn't react initially, only getting up after he hears the noise twice more and decides to investigate.

He opens the door and feels his heart drop. Rumi is standing there, one arm limp to her side. The panic is instantaneous, as he asks what happened and pulls her inside. She sputters something that absolutely isn't the truth, but Bobby is too busy panicking to notice and accepts it without resistance.

He tells her that they need to go to a hospital and Rumi's eyes widen with panic. He has half a second to react before she's trying to bolt out of the door, and he's just barely able to stop her from running out into the night with a broken arm.

Rumi is crying as she tells him that it will heal, that she doesn't need a doctor, and that they can't see her patterns. Bobby gently reminds her that most people can't see them unless she wants them to, but she's too far gone to accept it and he is once more stuck with a difficult decision.

He tells Rumi to sit on the couch while he gets the first aid kit, and when he returns Rumi is holding up his study notes with her free hand, skimming the pages with curiosity. He smiles slightly at the sight before focusing on the task at hand.

Rumi argues with him about taking off her hoodie, but Bobby knows about the patterns and Rumi can't find any argument that doesn't include them. He tells her that she can say no anyway, that they can go back to the estate and bring in a personal doctor, but she shakes her head and tells him that she wants him to do it.

It's dangerously close to 'I trust you'. He helps Rumi pull the hoodie up and over her head, a feat that she would've been unable to do with one arm limp at her side. It's only then that he sees the various bruises and scratches across her arms, like she'd gotten into a brawl with an angry raccoon and lost.

Bobby knows that he could be misreading this. The bruises could be from falling during dance practice, but he knows for a fact that Rumi isn't scheduled until three days from now, and that leaves him scrambling for another entirely normal reason for the bruising. He can't find one.

He's reminded of Rumi's arm and realizes that regardless of the answer, there is no teacher or mentor that would let her leave dance practice with a broken arm.

In that moment, he finds that he is no longer scared of Rumi, but for Rumi.

Rumi hisses as he tends to the scratches and cuts on her arms. Bobby starts to ramble to fill the silence. He talks about the classes he's in, the exam he'll be taking tomorrow, how he doesn't really like his teacher, how the classroom is cramped and he wishes they could just take the exam in a field instead...

She laugh as he says that last part and Bobby realizes he's never heard Rumi laugh before.

The thought is sobering.

Before he knows it, he's done all he can. Rumi's arm is still limp at her side, but she's no longer crying and even asked him a few questions about the notes in her hand. He answers her questions, and then he makes her promise that she's not lying about the fact that her arm will heal faster.

He drives her back to the estate and Rumi waves as he goes to drive away. He waves back with a smile.

He goes back to those forums sometimes, just to argue. He's heard enough vitriol about demons from Celine that sometimes he needed to tell somebody they were wrong. It might be slightly immature, but Bobby is protective. Sue him.

No, seriously. Try it. He has an entire firm at his back now, and he will gladly play the long game.

. . .

Mira calls him sometimes, but only for emergencies. Her definition of an emergency varies depending on the day, but if she thinks it's an emergency, Bobby agrees easily. He has helped her out of uncomfortable family situations just as much as he's helped her remember which limited time flavor of ramyeon Rumi and Zoey like best.

The third time, Bobby knows she's coming. He's just gotten off the phone with an angry-sounding Celine, and now he's sitting outside waiting for Rumi. He reflects on the phone call and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and listening to the alarms, now blaring, in his head.

He already has a few of her favorite snacks at the ready. Celine, in no uncertain terms, had just told Bobby that Rumi isn't allowed back at the estate until she figures out how to get rid of, or at least hide, her demonic features. He planned on letting her stay a few days past that point, if she wanted to. They had at least another month before the two girls set to be her idol partners showed up, and Bobby knew that once that time came, things would get a lot more difficult for Rumi.

Rumi is almost fourteen now, but her training regimen is comparable to an established idol. Bobby suspects that it is based off of Celine's own regimen, a fact that would send him into another fit of anger if he didn't see Rumi out of the corner of his eye.

He stands and freezes.

Bobby has seen Rumi with purple hands and claws. He has seen her with both one eye and both eyes glowing a deep amber. He has seen the fangs.

He has not seen this before.

He's up and moving before he can think twice about it. The neighborhood is quiet, and he knows nobody else can see the things he can, but that does not change a thing as he closes the distance and wraps his arms around her as carefully as he can, avoiding the tail shifting anxiously behind her.

Celine's anger makes more sense now. She most definitely cannot ignore this.

It takes almost an entire month for Rumi to confidently control her new-found appendage. Bobby does his best to make her visit as comfortable as possible. He knows he succeeded when he comes back from class one day to Rumi passed out on the couch, hoodie discarded carelessly to the side.

Zoey calls the most, for lots of reasons. Sometimes it's just to tell Bobby about the newest trend on social media or ramble about turtles when the other two girls are unavailable for her lecture about how "leatherback turtles can swim at up to 35 km/h!". Other times it's because she's gotten herself lost or separated, and it's only Bobby's calm and insistent directions that keep her from panicking.

He smiles at the distant reminder that he once wished for children, before his career was suddenly upended by a teenager with fangs and claws.

Bobby thinks this might be enough.

Big or small, Bobby is always there for his girls. It's just what he does, it's who he is, and Celine can go fuck herself if she thinks he'll approve another one of her stupid updated schedules. These girls already work too much. He grumbles and writes a far more professional response in the margins.

His phone buzzes once. Bobby decides he'll get it in a moment, once he's done filling out this paperwork.

It buzzes again.

And again.

And—

Bobby picks up the phone and watches as his screen fills with a myriad of text messages from Zoey. It's almost all entirely incoherent, a fact that has him pressing the call button before Zoey can send another 'help'.

It rings once and goes quiet.

"Bobby—" Zoey's strained voice filters through the phone. Bobby is already standing, paperwork forgotten.

"Zoey? What's going on?"

"Bobby, she just, she just ran,"

He stumbles around a pizza box and grabs his coat. "Who ran?"

"We messed up, Bobby, we messed up,"

"Zoey, I need you to tell me what is going on."

The sound of fabric against the microphone momentarily deafens him.

"Hello? Bobby?"

"Mira? What's going on?"

"Fuck, I can't believe this, I can't believe this is happening—"

"Mira! Focus, please. Are you safe? What is going on? Why do you both sound so panicked?"

"It's Rumi, she–we fucked up, Bobby, we found something we shouldn't have and she saw us—"

Bobby's heart sinks and he moves to grab his keys. "Hey, do me a favor and take a deep breath, Mira. You sound like you're going to pass out."

The line goes quiet and Bobby waits until he hears the shaky inhale and exhale. "Okay, good. Now, you said you found something? What did you find?"

"Her–her journal, we found her journal, Bobby,"

Shit. He didn't know she still had one. It's been years since she last mentioned it.

"Bobby?"

"I'm sorry–I said that out loud. You said she ran? Do you know which way?" The keys feel heavy in his hands. He lets them drop back onto the table.

"No, no she just fucking ran, fuck I can't believe... I can't believe she's... why the hell would she lie to us?!"

Bobby frowns. "What are you talking about, Mira?"

"She lied to us, Bobby! About everything!"

The line goes quiet again and he hears a stuttering breath before the phone is being passed off to someone else.

"Bobby, it's–it's Zoey again, Mira is...she's mad,"

"Okay, hey, it's okay.. We're gonna figure this out, alright?"

"I–I don't know if...she lied, she lied and now she ran, and oh God what if she never comes back, Bobby what if she never comes—"

"Woah, woah, woah! Zoey, slow down, breathe! Rumi isn't going anywhere, okay? She does this sometimes when she's overwhelmed."

"D-Does this? What...what do you mean?"

Bobby tosses his coat back on the rack and kicks the pizza box out of the way as he returns to the couch. "She runs. It's okay, I think I know where she's going. She's gonna be safe, alright?"

Zoey sniffles and Bobby feels a tug at his heartstrings. Fuck. This is not what he expected tonight would look like.

"O-Okay...Mira, Bobby says she'll be safe...mhm...I know, I know she didn't tell us, I'm...I'm upset about it too, okay! But we messed up, we shouldn't have...we shouldn't have read that without her permission...and...and..."

He stays quiet, but his mind is running a marathon. Rumi ran because of something in her journal. He knows she likes to write, but what sort of thing would she write abou...

"She's probably scared of us, Mir! We're–we're supposed to...she's a...we're..."

What are they talking about?

"Zoey, are you still there? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah..."

"Why would she be scared of you?"

The silence is deafening. Bobby feels non-existent hackles raising at the idea that Rumi would be scared of either of these girls. "Zoey. Are you still there?"

"Uhm… I don't know if I can.."

"Zoey, I need to know. She's likely going to show up at my door."

There's a sharp inhale.

"Why would she..."

"She runs. I've known this since she was thirteen. Zoey, please. I know you're scared, but please tell me."

"Did he just say what I think he did?! What...what the fuck!" Mira shouts in the background.

"H-He's a family friend, of course he...of course he knew her then!" Zoey attempts to placate her.

Bobby looks over at the door. Rumi should be here by now.

"Do you think he's the one she—"

"I don't know! How is...how is any of this helpful, Mira?!"

"That would mean he knows!"

Rumi should be here, but she's not. There's a distinct feeling of dread that rises with every second that the door doesn't open.

"Are you two talking about me? What do I know?"

"U-Uhm...Mira, hey, hold o—"

The phone is wrenched from Zoey's hands.

"Do you know what a demon is?"

"Yes? I'm sorry, what does this have to do wi..." Bobby trails off as he comes to a realization. "Oh."

Oh.

"Do you know what Rumi is?"

Bobby feels a familiar anger rise to the surface at Mira's scathing tone. He's heard it many times from Celine, but he loathes the fact that he's hearing it from one of his girls. "I know who Rumi is. Don't talk about her like she's a thing, Mira."

"I–you know she's a demon?!"

He forces himself to take a deep breath. He's still their manager. He still remembers Mira calling him and quietly asking for him to pick her up from the middle of nowhere. He still remembers. His girls are kind, and they did not know that Rumi is a half-demon, but why is Mira so angry? "I'm missing something here. I thought you two knew about this."

"Fuck no, we didn't! We're–fuck, what do you know?! Can I even tell you this?!"

Bobby has, and always will, believe the best of his girls. "Tell me, Mira."

His voice is steady. Calm. It betrays everything that he is feeling.

"We're–we're demon hunters, Bobby. I know it sounds insane, but it's—"

(He recalls a day when Celine slipped and mentioned something off-handedly about 'hunters'. He thought it sort of made sense; if there were demons cropping up, someone needed to deal with them. He just hadn't thought...)

"I believe you. I'm sorry that I snapped at you."

(He hadn't thought that it would be anyone near Rumi. That someone close to her could hurt her.)

"Would you ever hurt Rumi?"

Mira inhales like she's been slapped. Bobby is holding his phone so tightly that he might break it.

"N-No, I don't–I don't know, I don't think so.."

He has to keep this conversation moving.

"Zoey?"

"No way! I could...I could never hurt my Rumi!"

The way her voice gets louder and quieter indicates that Zoey is pacing right now. He can imagine the way she's anxiously tugging at her hair. It's why he also knows that Mira is in a similar position to him, with a vice grip on her phone. "Mira, let go of the phone and stop Zoey from tearing her hair out, please."

He hears Mira gasp. The phone is abandoned.

"Zo, let go, c'mon,"

"I–I–he knew, he knew!"

"I know. C'mon baby, here, let me see your hands,"

Bobby listens, but his eyes are on the door. The door that still hasn't opened.

Demon hunters.

He almost can't imagine saying the words. He thinks about the way that Celine seemed almost disgusted by Rumi whenever she displayed any of her demonic features, and it makes a sickening amount of sense. Is Celine a demon hunter, too? Or is it just the girls? Is Rumi a demon hunter? Is that why she was always so scared of herself?

Oh god, it makes too much sense.

He stands with a sense of renewed urgency and tries to think about where Rumi would go if she didn't feel safe enough to come here. He puts the phone on speaker and abandons it on the bed as he grabs clothes that will better suit the weather. In the background, he hears Mira and Zoey's voices going back and fourth, but he's not really paying attention to what they are saying.

"Okay, Bobby.. where would she go, where would she go..."

He scoops up his phone and finds it suspiciously quiet on the other end. He checks that he's still in the call. "Girls? You there?"

"Shit, forgot about him..."

He hears Mira grumbling incoherently as she gets closer.

"Bobby, where did she go?"

"I don't know," Bobby admits as he pulls the door closed behind him. "I thought she'd come here, but your penthouse is only about, what, thirty minutes from here? She has wings, she could've made that distance in five."

"She has fucking wings?!"

Bobby slides into the driver seat and puts the phone on a stand. "Yes, but the point is that she's not here."

"What the fuck. Do you....do you want us to look for her?"

He starts the car and thinks about the question for a moment. On one hand, Rumi is likely to flee if she sees either of the two girls. On the other hand, they can cover more ground if they look together... "If you can promise to wait for me if you find her, yes."

"Okay...fine, I guess. She's a fucking....demon....so I guess we'll check where the Honmoon is weakest."

"Where the what is what? Also, she's not a demon, she's Rumi."

"The Hon–ugh, nevermind. One of us will call you if we find her."

Bobby reverses out of his parking spot. "Mira?"

"Yea?"

"Stay safe. I don't...she can get..." Bobby hesitates. "She can get defensive if she's scared. I learned that the hard way."

"She's my best friend, of course I...whatever Bobby, bye."

The call goes dead and Bobby drives in unnerving silence.

Please be okay.

Chapter 3: a demon with no feelings

Rumi doesn't know how long she's been running for. Every breath comes with increasing panic that threatens to strangle her, but her feet keep moving even as she hyperventilates.

There are wings on her back and she knows she could use them, but the idea of it only adds to her spiral as she is violently bombarded by intrusive thoughts.

Just give up. You're nothing without them, why are you still running?

Rumi tries to ignore it.

You've always known this would happen. Why are you avoiding it now? You fucked up, take some responsibility for your mistakes.

She tries to ignore it. The voice in her head is not her own, even if it sounds just like her.

You know you're a mistake, but you won't fix it, will you?

Rumi grits her teeth and runs.

. . .

The first time Rumi is told to hide herself, she is six years old and sitting in front of her mother's grave. The memory is bittersweet, a testament to a time when Celine's touch could be just as soft as her voice. She remembers how her aunt combed through her hair gently, as though she refused to cause any pain to her.

"We are hunters, voices strong..."

She'd been curious, as all children are. She asked questions about her mother and got plenty of answers she wouldn't remember. What she does remember is how Celine's voice went a little colder when Rumi asked about her patterns. 'Cover those up,' she'd said, as though it were obvious. Like she wasn't condemning Rumi to a lifetime of self-loathing with three simple words.

After that, Celine never fails to remind her that she must remain hidden until the Honmoon is sealed and her patterns are gone. She is a child and does what she's told, never questioning her openly.

"Slaying demons with our song..."

She starts to write down her thoughts in the margins of a notebook given to her by Celine. She's cautious, at first, as though someone might find it and learn her secrets, but eventually she writes without any fear at all. It's only Celine and Rumi in the old house, and she'd told Rumi to keep the notebooks, after all.

This turns out to be a mistake. Celine finds one of the journals in her room and forces Rumi to burn it. The experience teaches her to keep the remaining one hidden, and she begins to hide other things too. Small things, like a bag of chips or her favorite spoon. She doesn't really question why she's doing it, she only knows that she doesn't want those things to disappear.

"Fix the world and make it right..."

The first time she lashes out at another human, she's in the courtyard practicing a dance routine. Each step sends a fresh surge of pain through her body, and she's likely seconds from collapsing, but Celine said she wasn't progressing fast enough and Rumi takes the words to heart.

She doesn't hear him approach, too busy listening to the imagined music in her head and dancing in step with the choreography she'd been shown two dozen times. He reaches out and touches her shoulder from behind, instinct takes over, and she sees red. Rumi doesn't remember how it happens, or how feral she must have looked. All she knows is that one moment she was dancing, and the next she was standing in front of a man holding his bleeding shoulder, and Rumi had claws.

It is during Celine's third lecture of the hour that Rumi learns his name. He's receiving medical attention from their private doctor to avoid suspicion, and between her aunt's scathing words about how reckless she'd been, Rumi learns that Bobby has been forced into a contract with Sunlight Entertainment to contain the possibility of a leak.

Rumi is filled with immense guilt as she realizes she's just ruined Bobby's life. She knows that he's learning to do what Celine hired him for, but she suspects he isn't even done with schooling yet, and if his schedule is anything like Rumi's... Bobby will have no time for anything. She begs Celine to reconsider, but it's already too late.

(She doesn't know this, but Bobby's life gets considerably better. He no longer has to work a dead-end delivery service job just to make ends meet and moves into a house paid for by the company that is only fifteen minutes from the estate. He also has a room in the estate if he ever wishes to stay close. He has, for all intensive purposes, become a part of the family. Whether he wants to be or not.)

"When darkness finally meets the light..."

Rumi turns the corner and gasps at the sight ahead of her.

The first time Bobby sees a demon that isn't Rumi, he freezes up and watches as Rumi grabs it by the throat and bashes it into a wall, muttering something about how 'nobody is allowed to hurt my...'

He questions how she can be so calm when faced with danger, and Rumi shrugs and says that it's as normal to her as breathing. Bobby accepts it, but the image of Rumi violently slamming a creature into a wall doesn't leave him for a while.

There are so many demons in the streets. She watches in horror as they turn to look at her and the bodies of men and women alike disappear in smoke as their souls are consumed.

She summons her Saingeom and immediately hisses in pain. It clatters to the ground and she looks at her hand, her clawed hand, and discovers that it's been burnt.

The second time he sees a demon that isn't Rumi, he hits it over the head with a discarded trash lid before Rumi can react. It's far more effective than it has any right to be. He says something about how Rumi shouldn't have to defend herself alone like this, but his voice trembles and he avoids that path to their dance studio for a while after that.

Rumi can't help the way she laughs at the irony that her own celestial weapon harms her. She summons it back into the hand that still clings to humanity, tail swishing anxiously behind her. She tries to will away the wings sat uncomfortably on her back and finds herself unable.

"Woah, it's okay! Rumi, don't cry, it's okay. You didn't mean to."

"I hurt you again!"

"You smacked me with your tail, it's hardly the end of the world."

"But it's–it's not normal, Bobby! I'm not normal!"

"Five minutes ago you were dancing in my living-room with a spoon for a microphone. I'm pretty sure that's not normal either, and yet you don't see me running in fear."

"Wha–but I'm a dem—"

"All thirteen year old girls are demons, Rumi. The internet made that clear."

"Bobbbby..."

"Oh god don't cry, I don't know what to do when you cry—"

"I just want them to go away!"

"..Your tail?"

"All of it.. I don't want to be a demon..."

"I think it's pretty cool that you're a half-demon, Rumi."

"What?"

"You can see better at night, and you've got these instincts that tell you when your friends are in danger. Sure, it comes with sharp teeth, claws and sometimes a tail, but that doesn't make you any less of a person."

It's almost too easy, the way she pushes her wings into a more comfortable position and scans the area. There are too many of them here, but that might be because they just finished... feeding. The smaller ones are looking for scraps.

She rushes at the group of demons closest to her, violently slashing at them without another moments hesitation.

"I am a demon hunter, I am a demon hunter, your faults and fears must never be seen, your faults and fears must never be seen—"

"Maybe they'll understand..."

"No, Rumi. Nothing can change until your patterns are gone."

Rumi laughs cruelly at her own naivety as another demon disappears in a puff of smoke. Understand? No, they could never understand. Celine was right. She's always right.

"You're not a mistake, Rumi. Please don't say that about yourself."

Rumi falters. A demon sinks its teeth into her shoulder. She screams and lashes out, grabbing it with her clawed hand and tossing it down the street like a ragdoll. She's momentarily surprised by her own strength, but it dims quickly at the realization that it's just another part of her meant to be suppressed.

It was stupid of her to let Bobby's inexperience with demons sway her to believe that she could be anything more than a mistake. Half-demon or otherwise, demons were made to cause pain and nothing more. She knows, as she tears into demons that attempt to flee, that she is the best at doing what she loathes.

Hatred flows through her bloodstream, and she cannot fix herself.

Rumi's sword is abandoned and she raises her fist to greet a demon head-on.

She will cause pain to the people she loves most—she knows this to be true, because she already has—and she will lose herself in the process.

Sometimes, Rumi hurts herself. She doesn't know when it started, only that she'd started to purposefully slam into things to remind herself that she can feel, even when the only thing she hears are the whispers telling her that she'll never be good enough.

Over time it becomes habitual. Rumi is elegance and grace when she's on-stage or practicing, but Zoey and Mira tease her endlessly about her clumsiness at home, and Rumi nods and laughs along like she hasn't made her pain into a joke people can laugh at.

She brings her fist down once, twice, six times, and when she pulls back her knuckles are bruised and bloodied. The demon she was pummeling is still alive, unphased by the pain, and immediately lunges and sends her stumbling backwards.

Bobby notices.

"Rumi, you've walked right into the couch three times now. Is everything okay?"

"It's nothing, Bobby. I'm just tired."

Rumi lies. It's all she's good for. Lies and deceit.

The demon bares its teeth and growls, and she bares her fangs and growls back. It's deeply animalistic in a way that she's never let herself be, and a rush of excitement courses through her veins as she gives in to baser instincts.

The demon doesn't startle, not really, but there's a moments hesitation as a realization crosses its nearly non-existent mind. 'You're fighting one of your own.'

Rumi summons the Saingeom back to her hand and strikes the demon down. She doesn't know why she is allowed to hold this sword, and perhaps she isn't; her burned hand speaks to the idea that perhaps the Honmoon is already rejecting her. Maybe there is no hope for her.

Maybe there never was.

"Wow, Rumi! Your Saingeom is so pretty! How come yours is so much brighter than my Shin-kal?"

Rumi has nothing to lash out at. Any remaining demons fled at the sight of the hunter's overwhelming violence, opting to wait for another day to strike.

"Pfft, probably because she's the golden child. It's still not as cool as my Gokdo."

Rumi stands in the middle of an empty street. The poor people here never stood a chance.

You'd kill, too, if you knew how it felt.

The thought comes to her unbidden and she flinches violently. It sounds even less like her this time, but it's also louder. She can't ignore it anymore.

Do you not wish for power? For someone to see you and tremble at your feet?

Rumi shakes her head at the thought. The power coursing through her veins is not her own, and she has already seen people tremble in fear at her presence. She wants neither.

What do you wish for, then?

She wants to be loved despite it all. She wants people to see her patterns and not turn away in disgust. She wants people to stop lashing out at her with the intention of harm whenever they see her.

Rumi wants to be more than her heritage, more than the things she cannot control.

Rumi wants to be wanted.

Oh, Rumi... you can't have that.

. . .

But you could have so much more.

Rumi hears the distant rumbling of a car. She's hyperaware of how she must look, wild and frenzied, but she cannot bring herself to move. Her legs feel as though they are locked in place, a familiar fear taking hold of her.

Rumi knows she could have more. She has spent countless nights in bed listening to the voice in her head tell her just that.

You could have it all. Let me show you.

She has ignored it before, and she can ignore it now. Giving in is not an option.

It's really not so bad.

Being a demon is not so bad? Rumi scoffs at the idea.

She's a demon hunter. She can't give in.

You were a demon first.

That doesn't matter. She promised to seal the Honmoon, and she intends to hold up her end of the agreement.

I think you're lying to yourself.

She's not. She will make the Honmoon gold, even if it kills her.

You know... your friends will kill you when they find you. You can't make the Honmoon gold if you're dead.

Rumi falters momentarily. They probably aren't looking, and if they are...

If they aren't, then who is that in the car behind you? They broke through the barrier.

Rumi tenses as a pair of headlights fall over her figure from behind.

They've come for you, and now you have a choice.

A choice?

You were always meant to be strong, Rumi. Let me show you that you are not a mistake, but a work of art.

It's too good to be true.

Is it? Or have the people around you made you believe that?

I don't...

Rumi.

What do you have to lose?

. . .

Rumi finds that she cannot give an answer.

She gives in just as the driver-side door to a car slams open.

Finally.

Chapter 4: an empty street, a quiet death

Notes:

thanks for the support everyone! it means a lot

Bobby doesn't understand the feeling that roars to life in his chest after twenty minutes of aimless driving. A primordial sense of fear grips him as he violently turns corners and drives far beyond the speed limit towards a destination he's not entirely aware of.

'Where the Honmoon is weakest.'

He pulls onto a normally busy street and watches as an already dark night turns pitch black.

He turns on his high beams and his mouth drops open. There are cars abandoned on the road, and several parked vehicles are half on the sidewalk. It looks like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie.

And then Bobby sees her.

Rumi was standing in the middle of the street with her back to him. Her hoodie is torn to shreds, and he can see her patterns glowing bright red against exposed skin.

(He doesn't know why, but the sight makes him reach over and send a location ping to a newly created group chat.)

(If he'd waited even a moment longer before tossing it onto the seat beside him, he'd know there were about twenty frantic messages from Zoey asking whether he was in danger before simply saying 'were coming.')

He leaves the car on as he steps out. It feels like walking into one of those sensory deprivation chambers people in America are so fascinated by. He doesn't hear a single thing beyond the rumble of the engine, his footsteps, and the sound of Rumi's frantic breathing.

It's like stepping into a moment suspended in time.

Rumi's tail smacks into just about everything as she's walking around the apartment. She apologizes endlessly, and Bobby tells her that it's fine every time, because it's not her fault, and really, he didn't need that cup anyway.

"Rumi?" He calls out, voice tentative. Something about her stance sets him on edge, a slight twitch in her movements that makes him hesitate.

She doesn't react to his call, and Bobby takes another careful step forward, trying to assess her for wounds from a distance. It isn't easy with her wings in the way.

He starts being more purposeful about where he puts things. Rumi stops knocking things off of open surfaces with her tail, but she also starts smacking into just about everything else. He initially assumes it's a balance issue, but it keeps happening even after she's figured out how to hide her tail. Rumi shuts down when he asks and says she's just tired, but Bobby doesn't believe it. Not for a second.

"Rumi, can you hear me?" In her younger years, Rumi was prone to panic and shut down at even the slightest of things. It scared Bobby so much the first time it happened that he called an old, estranged friend just to be sure she didn't need medical attention.

"What do you mean, 'what is dissociation?' Bobby, you're a manager for the largest idol group in Korea, and you don't know what dissociation means? Christ, and you wonder why I don't talk to you anymore."

Bobby pays out of pocket for a few mental health-based classes after learning just how inadequate his training is. It doesn't leave a dent in his paycheck, but he thinks he would've done it a year prior, when he was living off of ramyeon and pizza just as easily. His former partner's words don't sting the way they used to, but he also recognizes them as the truth.

Rumi glances over her shoulder, and Bobby doesn't freeze, not anymore, when he sees amber instead of hazel in her eyes. He just gives what he hopes is a reassuring smile and takes another step forward. It seems like she can hear him, at least.

"Rumi, I heard about what happened," Bobby starts, and he doesn't miss the way that Rumi flinches, even if she tries to play it off. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Rumi turns to look at him fully, and Bobby's heart skips a beat at the wounds on her arms and stomach. He stays still as she assesses him quietly, even though instinct demands that he run forward and embrace her before she collapses.

Her calculating gaze doesn't bother him. He knows Rumi's habits around studying the people in her life and assessing threat levels, the habit likely stemming from having to live with Celine, whose mood depends on Rumi's willingness to pretend.

Bobby played the same games, if on a vastly different level, with his boss. It took careful words and assurances to get her to agree to rescheduling a fan meet-up, or, god forbid, give the girls more time off.

If not for the situation, Bobby might ask Rumi for the tenth time if she wants him to formulate plans for HUNTR/X to go independent.

The plans are ready, but he refuses to coerce Rumi into making another decision in her life without thinking it through. Not when so much of her life has been dictated by another person's selfish beliefs and desires.

Rumi's demonic hand flexes at her side, and Bobby thinks it's a little odd that she hasn't said anything yet. "Rumi?"

Rumi growls instead of saying anything, and Bobby swallows down the instinctual fear that rises to the surface. He refuses to be scared of Rumi, the girl who showed up at his house every few weeks after a fight with a demon went south, and she didn't want to tend to her wounds alone.

(She never goes to Celine anymore, not if she can help it. Bobby is incredibly proud of her for setting that boundary and sticking to it, even if it meant he had to learn more than basic first-aid.)

Bobby always assumed that it was some sort of grudge Rumi held against demons that had her going out late at night to hunt them down, and not the literal universe pushing her into the role.

He's not sure why it never crossed his mind that she could be hiding her demonic heritage from the girls, but knowing what he does now about demon hunters, it makes a lot more sense.

God, Rumi probably thought they would kill her. He wishes he could use his newly acquired martial arts skills on his boss. He'd lose, spectacularly, but he's sure he could get one good hit in while yelling about how hiding a part of yourself from the two people closest in your life never ends well.

"Rumi?" He tries again. He's not sure what to expect anymore, but she bares her fangs and he finds himself taking a small step back. Something is wrong; he can sense it, but he doesn't know what. "Rumi, it's Bobby, can you.."

Rumi lunges, and Bobby is moving before he can think twice about it.

"Bobby, give it back!"

"You've had enough candy for the day, Rumi!"

"It's emotional support!"

"Rumi.. fine, you can have one more, but that's it!"

"Yes! You're the best, Bobby!"

She gets close enough that Bobby can see the anger in her eyes, and then he's dodging to the side in one swift movement, watching as she stumbles forward from the uncoordinated attack.

"Rumi, you're safe, I'm not going to hurt you," He says, trying to keep his voice steady even as Rumi spins around and glares at him. He tries to remind himself that she's not fully here right now, but it does little to ease his panic. "Rumi, slow down, we can talk about—"

Rumi charges at him and he stumbles, slamming into an open car door and cursing before narrowly avoiding a clawed hand that lodges itself into metal. Rumi pulls the clawed hand towards herself instead of up and away, and Bobby cringes at the way it rattles in his skull.

Fuck, fuck, this is insane.

"Rumi? Are you..."

"...Can you hear me?"

"I'm... oh god, what do I do..."

"Okay, Bobby, calm down.. She's just staring blankly at a wall, no big deal..!"

Bobby could probably dodge for another few minutes before he's out of breath, but Rumi is liable to switch it up when she realizes that. He finds himself analyzing her movements again, the subtle tremor and the way she opens and closes her non-dominant hand. Her human hand.

"Rumi, are you still in there?" Bobby asks, and he's rewarded when her insistent tremor stills for half a second. "Okay, I'm not mad at you, kiddo," She tenses again, and Bobby would curse himself for letting that slip if the situation were even slightly different. "I'm not mad, I know this is scary for you. Your friends—"

Rumi growls and charges at him again. "I don't have friends."

Bobby feels a claw nick the side of his arm as he slides across the roof of a car to avoid her. Jesus Christ, he's never been more glad for those extra classes in his life. "What? Of course you do, Rumi! Zoey and Mi—"

"They hate me," Rumi grinds out, standing on the other side of the car. "I am a demon. They hate demons, they hate me."

She says it with a conviction that makes Bobby's heart hurt. "No, Rumi, listen to me. They don't hate you! That's not even close to the truth."

Bobby catches a flicker of emotion on her face. "Rumi, they called me as soon as they realized. They didn't know what to do, they were panicked and scared—"

"They should be!" Rumi shouts, but she follows it up with a quieter, "Mira raised her Gok-do at me.."

Fuck, Mira didn't mention that. "She shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry—"

"Stop defending them!" Rumi all but screams. "They... if all they see is a demon, then... I'll give them what they see."

Bobby watches as Rumi's body goes slack, like she's finally giving in to something unseen. Her eyes glaze over like she's turned off the part of her brain that's screaming, and between one moment and the next, Rumi is there and then she is not.

"Rumi—" Bobby calls, and his voice is shaking, but he can't will it away anymore. He's not scared of Rumi, the teenager who dances around his apartment with a spoon for a microphone and cries when she doesn't get chocolate. He's not scared of the young adult who holds every problem and responsibility on her shoulders like it isn't that big of a deal, but shows up at his house when she's scared.

He's not scared, and yet he stands frozen on the sidewalk, because Bobby knows that what looks back at him is not entirely Rumi. He knows this, and yet he doesn't move when she launches herself over the car to meet him on the sidewalk.

He watches as she stalks forward. Her insistent tremor is gone, and her patterns glow a violent red, and there is nothing human about the way she looks at him, but Bobby refuses to let this image of his girl replace the one he knows.

Even if it means accepting what may surely be his death.

A clawed hand wraps around his neck, and Bobby stiffens but doesn't pull away. It's not like it would do him any good. He just gives his best reassuring smile and whispers, feather-light, "It's okay, Rumi. It's okay."

And what stares back at him isn't Rumi, not really, but he sees the part that is. He looks into amber eyes full of hurt and confusion and anger, and he remembers the times he held her while she cried herself to sleep because Celine just wouldn't look at her.

"I see you, okay?" Bobby's voice cracks. "I see you, Rumi. All of you."

Claws dig into his neck and he gasps softly. "I know you're scared," Bobby struggles out. "It's okay to be scared, but your friends... care about you... and I care about you. I care about you, Rumi. Please don't give in."

Something flickers in her gaze. Rumi's voice comes out deep, guttural almost. "You care?"

"How could I not?" Bobby asks quietly. Genuinely.

How could this girl ever believe that he didn't care? Where has he gone wrong? Can he fix it? Is there still time?

Rumi opens her mouth to respond, but familiar voices sound off in the distance and Bobby looks behind her in confusion. Her grip tightens on his neck and he chokes against the pressure.

"Liar," Rumi whispers harshly, eyes narrowing into slits. "You brought them here to kill me."

Bobby tries to shake his head. "I would...never.."

"Liar!" Rumi says, louder this time. Bobby starts to see stars in his vision.

"I'm..not.." Bobby gasps out. "Rumi—"

Rumi's eyes widen and her hand falls away with urgency. Bobby coughs and wheezes, stumbling as he tries to pull in a breath.

"B-Bobby...?"

"It's–it's okay, Rumi, you just—damn, you've got a strong grip!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.."

"It's not your fault. I really should've learned after the first time. You startle like a fuuuuc.....like a deer!"

"...Are you okay?"

"Yup! Do you still want ice cream?"

"Huh..? I mean, yeah.."

"Let's go, then! I'll race you to the car!"

"Don't!" Rumi shouts as Bobby takes a step forward, one clawed hand pointed at him defensively. "Don't.. don't get any closer! I don't want... I want to..." Her breathing gets more and more erratic and Bobby watches in horror as she stabs into her thigh with her claws. "I want to hurt—but I don't—but..."

"Rumi," Bobby's voice is hoarse, but he needs her to pay attention to him, not whatever else is running through her mind right now. "Rumi, you're having a panic attack—"

Rumi's eyes dart up to look at him. "I just tried to hurt you! I just tried to—"

"You did, and that's–we can talk about that later, but I'm okay!" Bobby assures her, hands up placatingly as he takes a step forward. "I'm okay, Rumi, and I'm not upset, and I really, really need you to calm down!"

“I just tried to kill you!”

Bobby flinches at the volume. Her chest heaves up and down like she can't catch a breath and she freezes as the girls finally make it down the road.

Fuck.

"Rumi–" "Bobby–" Mira and Zoey talk over each other and for a moment, everything goes quiet, save for Rumi's frantic breathing.

"No," Rumi whispers. "Nonono..."

"Rumi—" Bobby starts, only to get cut off by an inhuman growl. Rumi's head snaps in his direction and he watches as her eyes flicker with barely concealed rage. He has half a second to react, to dodge, when she launches herself forward with disconcerting speed.

"BOBBY!"

Bobby slams into the wall and gasps as Rumi rounds on him again. He readies himself to dodge when she suddenly stumbles and rears back like she's been stabbed.

And then he sees a Shin-kal lodged in her shoulder.

"Don't fucking hurt her!" Bobby screams, all attention removed from Rumi as he turns and looks towards the girls. Zoey is holding a single Shin-kal in her hand, and Mira has the aforementioned Gok-do poised and ready.

"Bobby, she's—" Mira tries.

"I don't care!" Bobby growls, all prior reservations tossed out the window. "Put your weapons away or I will make you."

Both girls look at him like he's grown a second head. He doesn't care. He takes a step forward and both girls take an involuntary step back.

Zoey's shin-kal vanishes first. Mira hesitates for a long moment before following suit. He watches them for a long moment, waiting for them to try something, and only once he's satisfied does he turn back to look at Rumi.

Rumi, whose hand hovers over the Shin-kal in her shoulder. Rumi, whose face crumples as she stares at her friend, who'd just stabbed her, and doesn't lunge.

She doesn't lunge, and somehow that is worse. She lets out a shaky breath and stumbles in place before dropping involuntarily to her knees. Bobby's eyes widen as a sword of pure light forms in her clawed hand and she hisses in pain.

She holds it out in offering and the world holds its breath.

"Please," Rumi whispers, and she sounds so small. "Bobby, fix it, please, dad," her voice cracks and he feels his heart drop into his stomach.

"Rumi," Bobby wills his voice to remain steady. "What are you asking me to do?"

Someone chokes and Bobby glances over to see Zoey holding a hand to her mouth. Mira's eyes widen and he can see the beginnings of tears forming in her eyes.

"Dad," Rumi whispers, and Bobby turns back to her. "I can't—it's so loud—I don't want to hurt anyone.." she trails off and whimpers quietly. "Please..."

Bobby takes a step forward and kneels in front of her. "That's not an answer, Rumi."

Rumi tips her head up to look at him. He waits patiently as she opens and closes her mouth like a fish out of water. She looks away and mutters something under her breath.

"What was that?"

Rumi closes her eyes. "Stop me, please."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me," Bobby says quietly.

Rumi inhales shakily and opens her eyes. He resists the urge to reach out and wipe away the tears that have begun to fall. "I'm...I'm a demon, Bobby. Do what—do what you've seen me do to demons."

Bobby inhales sharply and slowly, carefully, reaches out to grab the hilt of the Saingeom. Rumi's hand goes slack and she allows him to take it away, her eyes closing again as she stifles a sob.

He hears shuffling behind him and knows that the girls are approaching.

And then he sighs quietly. "No."

Rumi's eyes shoot open and she watches Bobby toss the sword to the side. He hears twin sighs of relief from behind him as he carefully reaches out and wraps his hand around the Shin-kal still lodged in her shoulder.

Medical procedure dictates that he should leave it there, but Rumi isn't human and so medical procedure can be damned. He pulls it out and throws the dagger aside, muttering a quiet apology when she flinches.

"Why?" Rumi's voice cracks and she looks so confused.

'Because you have already asked me to do this,' he doesn't say. 'Because we both know I could never.'

"Because you're not a demon. You're Rumi," Bobby says instead. "I would kill for you, but that sentiment does not include you."

Bobby doesn't know how long he stands there in shock. He's never felt as helpless as he does now, watching as this child, this young girl, asks something he cannot fathom. She doesn't even realize where she is, her gaze distant and unseeing, and yet the words, her question, is entirely coherent.

The worst part? She's not even asking him. She's asking someone who isn't even here.

She's asking Celine to kill her, and it sounds as if this isn't the first time.

He has never felt so helpless, listening as Rumi recalls all of the various ways Celine has told her that she is not enough. That she is a mistake. That her lineage has defined her, that she will never be anything more than a demon.

Rumi's body goes slack and she tips forward. Bobby catches her and holds her as she breaks.

"I've got you," Bobby murmurs, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

(The Honmoon shimmers, and he does not see it, but two girls do. They feel the way it wraps around the area, finally releasing it from the demon's hold. The street returns to light as overhead lights flicker to life. As it reaches a girl and her father in all but blood, it eases around them carefully and takes the Saingeom with it.)

"I've got you.”

Chapter 5: a lull in the chaos

Notes:

this got away from me a little bit so I apologize to those of you who thought this would be the happy part... we'll get there eventually!

"We should.... we should get her out of here, Bobby," Mira's voice is uncharacteristically soft. Bobby grunts in affirmation but makes no clear indication of moving.

"Help me carry her? She's... heavy with the wings," He remembers being so sure he could handle carrying her from the couch to the spare room, only to wake her up because he could barely lift her. It's such a soft memory, jarring in comparison to the bleeding, passed-out form in his arms.

Zoey steps beside him and traces the outline of Rumi's wings with her palm, never daring to touch. She's never seen anything so... violently beautiful. This was a part of Rumi, a part of her that she'd hidden away out of fear, and that fear had been... valid, hadn't it?

Zoey forces back another bout of tears at the realization that they hurt Rumi, and yet they were the ones reacting as though they had been burned.

"...Yeah, of course," Zoey whispers, willing her voice to remain steady. It only sort of works.

"How do we get her in the car?" Mira asks from a few paces away. It's not that she doesn't want to approach.. she just isn't sure how to. She isn't sure she wants to break this bubble of protection, because she sure as hell doesn't belong in it.

"They fold. I'll show you how, just... be careful."

'I'm still upset with you,' goes unsaid, and yet both girls hear it.

. . .

In the end, recovery is long and arduous. Many apologies are given, promises are made, and above all else, everything finally comes to light.

Meetings are postponed, events are rescheduled, and Bobby does it all without leaving the comfort of his house. It helps that Rumi sticks around for the most part, almost unwilling to leave.

Mira and Zoey don't go no-contact, but they only stop by once or twice a week as Rumi grapples with everything she went through.

Bobby doesn't hide his disdain for the other girls at first, but Rumi catches him glaring at Mira and he ends up being the one lectured. He doesn't like a lot of the words that come out of her mouth, about how she deserved it and how it only made sense, but he also knows that Rumi loves those girls more than life itself.

He still asks her to start seeing a therapist, and after a week of pushback, she finally relents on the condition that he also sees a therapist, because apparently having your daughter in all but blood ask you to kill them is 'traumatic' or something.

He accepts these conditions, although he rolls his eyes privately at her reasoning. He's perfectly fine, thank you very much.

(And if he cries later that night thinking about how sure she'd been that he would do it... Well, the walls are thin, neither of them can sleep, and impromptu rom-com binge sessions are good for the soul.)

So yeah, recovery is long and arduous, but everything is okay. Things have calmed down, Rumi feels comfortable around the girls again, and Bobby is three seconds from forging adoption papers after Rumi whispers 'I love you, Dad,' one night when she thought he was asleep on the couch.

Everything is okay.

. . .

Everything is not okay.

Bobby is two seconds from popping a blood vessel. He thought Mira and Zoey were stopping by today, but no, his life could never be so easy. Peace and quiet? A daughter who can stand to look at herself in the mirror?

Fuck.

"Celine," Bobby greets her, forcing his voice to remain steady. He hears a commotion behind him and a door shutting and wills himself not to react, standing guard at the imaginary barrier that is his front door.

"Bobby," Celine regards him carefully. "It's been a while."

'Not long enough,' he doesn't say.

"It has," Bobby says instead. "I wasn't expecting you today."

"I meant to call," Celine says, and they both know that's a lie. "I wanted to speak to you about some of the changes to the girls' schedule."

"Of course," Bobby steps aside. "Apologies for the mess. I wasn't expecting visitors."

I wasn't expecting you.

"It's alright. This won't take long."

Bobby cringes at the stack of pizza boxes beside the couch. It's not the worst thing in the room by far; the aforementioned rom-com binge session had lasted approximately 36 hours before Mira and Zoey showed up to them passed out on the couch. The evidence of two people being in the house is abundantly clear, and Bobby isn't sure whether he should be stalling for time or trying to get Celine out of the house as fast as possible.

Rumi had mentioned his boss exactly one time, and all she'd said was 'Celine can't find out'.

He'd gone to great lengths to ensure exactly that. He wants to believe that Zoey and Mira wouldn't have told her, but his trust in them is still shaky at best.

"So!" Bobby claps his hands together and Celine turns to regard him. "What did you want to talk about? Is it the budget for the—"

"Are we alone?" Celine cuts him off, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Well—"

"No, you're not."

Celine doesn't startle, but it's a close thing. Bobby can see the way she plays it off as she turns to regard Rumi, who'd stepped into the room while she wasn't looking. "Rumi! I wasn't expecting you to be here."

With Celine's attention off of him, he has time to process the fact that Rumi has gone and grabbed a hoodie out of his closet.

"I stopped by to ask him about a brand deal," Rumi shrugs. "They were complaining about our lack of media presence."

Bobby is surprised at how easily Rumi slips into her idol persona.

"That makes sense," Celine says with a nod. "I was worried you girls were taking some sort of extended break."

"Of course not," Rumi smiles. "It's just been a slow few weeks," She tips her head to the side to regard him. "Something about it being more difficult than usual to schedule?"

Bobby nods quickly. "Usually, we've got just about everyone hounding us to schedule you girls, but I guess something else has their attention. It's not uncommon; it'll clear up soon."

Celine hums approvingly. "Sounds like you two have it figured out, then."

He thinks that might be the end of it. That she might walk out of here without this escalating.

"Actually... could we speak in private, Rumi? I have something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

Rumi nods slowly. "Yeah, of course."

. . .

Everything finally comes to light.

Rumi hears the words 'I have something I've been meaning to talk to you about,' and she knows.

Celine is a good actor, but even the best actor slips up, and she is not the best.

She sees Celine pretend to flinch and knows that Celine isn't here for Bobby. Every word spoken is calculated. Brand deal. Media presence. She pretends it's second nature and Celine does the same, and they dance around each other like a predator stalking its prey.

Rumi is familiar with these games, and that is why she knows that Celine knows.

When she hears the words 'Could we speak in private,' she tenses and has to stop herself from looking over at Bobby. He would stop her from leaving if he knew, but he doesn't, and Rumi cannot bring herself to tell him.

Not when he has already done so much.

So she reminds herself that she's wearing his hoodie, the one set aside for when she ripped her clothes to shreds fighting demons, and tells herself that she's ready for whatever comes next.

"I'll be okay," she whispers to Bobby after Celine has stepped outside. "I'll call you later."

. . .

Bobby watches as Celine steps outside and Rumi follows her. He closes the door behind them and wonders what this feeling in his chest is.

Fear? Confusion? He's not sure entirely, and yet he knows he's felt it before.

The first time Myung comes home late from work, Bobby is waiting for him on the couch. Myung sets his coat on the hangar and toes off his shoes before joining him, and the two of them fall asleep in each other's arms. It is nice. Domestic, even.

It happens several more times before Bobby brings it up, and Myung lies to him every time. He gets this feeling in his chest every time, like their souls were entwined and the threads that kept them together were being frayed.

It is months later that Myung comes home with alcohol on his breath and finally tells the truth. Bobby already knows. He'd felt it earlier that night; the final thread being carefully untangled.

He thinks about Rumi's assurance, and then he thinks about how, as soon as she thought he wasn't looking, her smile faded like it was never there to begin with.

Myung leaves and doesn't come back, and Bobby wonders if there was anything he could have done to change his mind as he stands alone in an apartment built for two.

Bobby opens the group chat with Zoey and Mira and scrolls through a barrage of turtle videos.

B: Hey girls, Rumi had to step out for the day.

The response is instantaneous.

Z: is she okay???

M: Did something happen?

B: Celine stopped by to talk to me about some things.

Z: oh, did she want to talk to rumi?

B: Yeah.

Z: she doesn't know, right?

B: I didn't tell her.

M: We didn't either.

Z: probably just idol stuff then...

He hesitates and thinks about the feeling in his chest.

B: I have a question about the hunter stuff. Can I talk about that in here?

M: You're the one who encrypts our chats.

B: Oh. Right.

Z: what kind of question?

B: Do you guys have a connection to each other?

Z: well duh

M: Depends. What kind of connection?

B: Like... a spiritual one, I guess. Can you tell when something is wrong with the other?

M: Yes.

Z: actually i swear i just felt something...

M: ???

M: My room. Now.

B: Okay. Thanks.

M: Why did you want to know that?

M: Bobby?

B: Celine is a hunter too, right?

M: Yes.

A few minutes go by as Bobby tries to process this information.

Z: bobby? you still there?

B: Yes, sorry. I think I'm just being paranoid.

M: Paranoid about what?

B: It's nothing.

It doesn't feel like nothing. It feels like he's missing something vital.

Three months later, Myung gets into an accident on the way to work, and Bobby learns that the feeling hasn't gone away entirely. He feels the pain in his chest, and before he knows what he's doing, he's sprinting to the hospital on foot.

Myung doesn't want to see him, but that's fine. The important part is that he's able to say as much. That he's not..

Bobby thinks about the way he found Rumi. How he'd been driving aimlessly one second, and the next he was turning corners like he was possessed.

Why is Rumi scared of Celine finding out? Celine is a demon hunter, but she raised Rumi.

Why? Is it because Rumi is also a hunter? Is there some sort of obligation he's missing?

M: What is it?

Why would she show up now, of all times? It's almost evening, and she lied about wanting to call before showing up... like she wanted the element of surprise.

B: I don't know. I just feel strange.

He picks up the stack of pizza boxes and brings them out to the trash, folding them down flat as his mind races. Why can't he calm down?

B: I must just be tired.

He shifts the coffee table back into place. Rumi must've bumped into it when she got up.

Bobby doesn't like Celine. She talks about demons being vile creatures in front of Rumi like it's nothing, but more generally, he just really doesn't like her personality.

It always seemed fake to him, but she also never slipped up and acted any differently. He assumed she must just be that type of person, but something about the conversation between Rumi and Celine felt... different.

Z: maybe you need some sleep?

Zoey makes a good point. His thoughts are getting all sorts of mixed up, and surely that's not helping this panicked state he's found himself in.

More likely than not, he's just stressed out because Rumi hasn't been out of his sight in a while. His new therapist would probably tell him that's normal after a traumatic event.

B: I think I will. Thank you for answering my questions.

He looks over at the couch one last time. The empty space where Rumi usually sits makes his chest hurt in the same way as before, but he just shakes his head and frowns before returning to his room.

Everything is okay. He's just tired.

M: No problem. I'll let you know if we hear from Rumi before you do.

Everything is okay.

It is only days later, in the silence of his apartment, that Bobby realizes he'd known instinctually which hospital to go to. Worse still, he realizes that he's always felt this way. He always goes where he's needed, even at the expense of himself.

He doesn't dwell on it for long.

Someone's at the door.

Notes:

sorry ya'll, i couldn't resist making this worse

Chapter 6: the past repeats

Notes:

once again, thank you for all of your support!! this chapter is a little shorter than id like but I think the vibes make up for it

Rumi has walked the path between Bobby's house and the main estate enough times to know that it takes the average person about fifteen minutes to get from point A to point B.

It has been thirty minutes, and they are still walking.

Rumi doesn't recognize the path they are on, and a part of her wonders if they are even going to the estate at all. Celine seems familiar, so at least they aren't walking aimlessly.

At some point, she'd instinctively made herself as small as possible, putting space between the two of them and letting Celine lead from a few feet ahead. The silence was deafening, yet she heard the scathing tone in her mind, as if it were being shouted through a megaphone directly into her ear.

Celine knows about her losing control. The thought almost sends her spiraling again, but she wills herself to remain calm. She can handle a lecture, and surely Celine doesn't know the whole story.. She can still fix this.

"The strangest thing happened the other night."

Rumi nearly jumps out of her skin as Celine breaks the silence. "Y-Yeah?"

"Mm. I was having dinner, and all of a sudden it felt like someone punched a hole clean through my soul."

A bird chirps, and for a long moment, Rumi's mouth hangs open, but nothing comes out. She searches for the words and fails, clicking her mouth shut as she processes.

The path gives way to a clearing and Rumi realizes where they are. The Seonangdang tree stands tall, linen cloth hanging from the branches. It's exceptionally windy tonight.

Rumi wonders if it'll rain.

"I assumed someone would inform me of what happened," Celine says, breaking Rumi out of her reverie. She turns to look at her, the words 'I assumed you would say something', although unspoken, are clear as day.

Rumi swallows the lump in her throat but says nothing as Celine navigates the stone towers surrounding the tree.

She turns around to look at Rumi and she's struck by the realization that Celine looks tired.

"Nobody told me anything," Celine asks so quietly that the wind almost overtakes her voice. "Why?"

Oh.

She really doesn't know.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rumi says resolutely. She regrets her words almost immediately, watching Celine filter through emotions she usually keeps hidden. Rumi thinks she sees tears begin to form in her mentor's eyes before she blinks them away.

"I don't know what you did," Celine's voice turns accusatory as she takes a step forward. "But you need to fix it."

Rumi takes a cautious step back, eyes widening. "I don't know what you're—"

"You need to fix it!" Celine screams, and Rumi flinches back like she's been shot. "I can't feel it, Rumi. What did you do?"

Something is very, very wrong.

"What are you talking about?" Rumi asks meekly, already fearing the answer.

"The Honmoon," Celine's voice cracks and Rumi doesn't know how to react to the vulnerability in her mentor's voice. "I can't feel the Honmoon anymore."

Rumi freezes.

Celine can't feel the Honmoon anymore?

What does that mean?

Is that even possible?

"Can you... can you see it?"

Celine shakes her head and Rumi thinks she might be sick.

"I don't understand," Rumi mutters helplessly. "What does that mean?"

"You did something," Celine sounds so sure of herself, and Rumi...

Rumi isn't sure she's wrong.

She can hardly remember what happened that night. She remembers seeing Zoey holding her journal, a voice in her head getting louder and louder... and then there was a shin-kal in her shoulder.

Rumi swallows harshly. What did she do?

"I don't... I don't know," Rumi's voice cracks and she wraps her arms around herself protectively. "I don't know what I did, I don't remember.."

Celine inhales sharply and Rumi closes her eyes when she takes another step forward. She's shaking by the time Celine's hands are on her shoulders.

"Rumi, look at me," Celine says softly.

Rumi shakes her head. She doesn't want to.

"Rumi."

"I'm sorry," Rumi chokes out. "I don't–"

"Look at me," Celine's voice isn't soft anymore. Rumi isn't sure what scares her more.

She opens her eyes and Celine is looking at her with nothing but disappointment.

"You need to fix this."

Tears begin to well in her eyes as she croaks, "How?"

Celine doesn't say anything for a long moment and Rumi thinks it's because she doesn't know the answer.

Neither of them do. They just know it's wrong and needs to be fixed.

"Give me your sword."

Rumi exhales shakily and tries to take a step back, but Celine holds her in place.

"Rumi."

"I don't..." Rumi takes a more conscious step back, pulling away from Celine's grip and stumbling. Her voice trembles as she asks, "Why do you want my sword?"

"I just want to try something," Celine assures her, but Rumi doesn't like her tone at all.

She shakes her head and steps away. "No."

"Rumi," Celine tries again, taking a step forward. Rumi takes another step back and nearly trips over her own feet. "Rumi, we need to fix this."

"How," Rumi hesitates, trying to find the words. "How would my sword fix this?"

Don't you already know the answer to that question?

Rumi flinches, her vision narrowing for a split second before returning.

"You're already starting to lose control," Celine murmurs and puts her hands out in some facsimile of surrender. "Rumi, please. Let me help you."

She just wants to help herself.

Rumi's eyes narrow. "Help me?"

Selfish, just like you.

"Yes, of course!" Celine takes another step forward and Rumi doesn't move this time. "I just want to help you."

Liarliarliarliarliarliar.

Like mother, like daughter.

"Okay," Rumi responds shakily. "Okay, how...how can you help me?"

"Just.. let me see your Saingeom," Celine holds her hand out and Rumi looks at it for a long moment before summoning her sword.

She hesitates for a moment before holding it out in offering.

LIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIAR.

You know you're a mistake, but you won't fix it, will you?

Rumi exhales shakily and watches Celine wrap her hand around the hilt. She doesn't know why, but she holds her breath and lets her grip go slack.

The moment stretches as Celine finally, finally looks at her.

Is she looking?

And then the sharp end of a sword is pressed against her neck and Rumi's breath hitches.

Or is she just deciding how best to deal with you?

"Celine?" Rumi squeaks, cringing at the sound of her voice.

"I could still feel her," Celine whispers harshly. "And now she's gone."

"I-I don't...." Tears prick at the corners of her vision and she finds herself unable to move. "What are you—"

"Once wasn't enough?" Celine growls, pressing hard enough to draw blood. "You had to take her from me a second time?"

"I don't know what you mean," Rumi gasps, heart hammering in her chest. "Celine, please—"

There's a faint sizzling noise, but Rumi can't hear it over the sound of her heartbeat. It burns and burns and burns, and yet Celine refuses to let go of the weapon in her hand, even as it rejects her wholeheartedly a second time.

STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP.

The first drops of rain hit the ground as they stand there, one frozen in fear and the other frozen in rage. Rumi's breaths are shallow and uneven as she tries to reconcile with what's happening. Celine's are slow and steady, like she's thought about this for far too long.

The first time Rumi asks, she hadn't meant to say it out loud. Celine goes stock-still, regarding the trembling form in front of her, and the sword held out in offering. For a long moment, she thinks she must be dreaming.

And then she says it again—whispers it like a prayer—and Celine realizes that this is real.

Rumi looks at her with eyes begging for relief, and Celine scoffs and walks away before she can let herself choose.

The wind picks up, and with it comes the sound of leaves rustling against each other, a cacophony of noise as the world seems to tremble in fear anticipation.

"I never meant to—" Celine's voice cracks and she squeezes her eyes shut against a different memory. "I never meant to hurt her."

Celine turns the corner and watches in horror as Mi-Yeong reaches out to cup the side of a man's face with gentle insistence. They whisper words to each other that she can't hear and something terrible snakes its way into her heart and whispers, 'He's stealing her.'

She sees red. Celine doesn't remember how it happens. All she knows is that one moment she's watching as the man demon adjusts something in his arms, and the next she has a weapon in her hands and she's standing in front of Mi-Yeong.

Except, she's no longer holding her weapon.

It's lodged in Mi-Yeong's chest.

"Hurt who?" Rumi whispers. She can't tell if she's crying or if it's just the rain. Maybe it's both.

Lightning strikes overhead and the tree is bathed in an almost otherworldly white light. Rumi's eyes shift up to the linen cloths strung across its limbs, shifting violently with the wind. She swears she sees a shadowed figure standing among them for a split second before her gaze returns to Celine.

"Mi-Yeong?! Oh my god—"

"Celine?" Rumi's voice trembles. She's shaking much like the leaves on the tree. "Who did you hurt?"

"Celine...is that...you?"

"I didn't..." Celine's eyes snap open and she glares at Rumi. "This is your fault."

"Don't–don't move, Mi-Yeong... I'll fix this, I'll fix this—"

A baby cries, and Celine's head snaps up to see a man demon standing there looking shell-shocked. Her heart drops as she hears the baby cry again and realizes it's coming from the bundle in his arms.

"No, Mi-Yeong, you didn't.. this is what you were hiding?"

"I'm sorry—" Rumi chokes, not understanding what she is apologizing for.

"M'sorry...knew you'd...be mad..."

Lightning strikes, and this time, neither of them sees it. The sword presses further into Rumi's neck and she gasps against the pain, but she can't seem to pull away.

You know you can't get away from this.

runhidescaredrunrunrunrunrunrun

She shivers and absently wonders if it's from the cold bite of her blade against skin or the sudden downpour. She closes her eyes, no longer willing to watch as Celine reconciles with whatever image she's seeing. She just knows it's not her.

But you can still be free.

"Don't... don't tell me it's..."

"...It's ours."

Celine's head snaps up once more, and she regards the demon standing in front of her with nothing but hostility. She doesn't stand, because she's too busy putting pressure around a fatal wound, but she glares at him with every ounce of emotion she can muster.

"This is your fault."

runhidefightfightfightfightfight

It's strange. Only two weeks ago, she'd lost control and fought tooth and nail to stop herself from hurting the people she loved.

She remembers that now. She remembers giving in to the voice in her head, and yet...

"I'm...I'm a demon, Bobby. Do what—do what you've seen me do to demons."

"Do you think I'm a demon?" Rumi whispers. She has no idea if Celine can hear her. "Is that what you see when you look at me?"

And years later, while braiding the hair of a young child, Celine will see the first glimpse of the demon that resides in Rumi's blood. She will see it, and she will tell Rumi to hide it and never let anyone see. It is mercy disguised as condemnation, because if Celine saw those patterns again...

Rumi feels the pressure release from against her neck and gasps, but she does not open her eyes.

RUNHIDEFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT

She thinks about home. She imagines a penthouse and two girls she wishes she could be honest with just one more time. She imagines a living room with pizza boxes stacked high; it had become a game of theirs after Rumi joked that Bobby was probably more pizza than human.

She recalls that she's wearing his hoodie, and then she remembers twin bracelets on her wrist, one pink and one black, and realizes that she has a part of each of them here.

The shimmer of starlight breaks through her reverie and she knows she should run. Rumi could make it to the estate in a minute, and there's no way that Celine would catch her in this weather. She could hide away and use the phone in her pocket to call someone, anyone.

Rumi could fight, but she's tired.

She was tired of hiding, and then of being seen, and now she's just tired. It's an ache that never seems to go away, and some days it overpowers even the voices in her head.

Taking a deep breath, she exhales softly through her nose and focuses on the way the rain drenches her clothing. She feels how the dirt beneath her feet has turned to mud, unintentionally trapping her in place. She distantly recalls there being something else beneath her feet, but the thought is gone before she can recall it fully.

(So her final truth is this.)

(Rumi has never been scared to die. She's expected it since she was a child, clung to the idea that she could have it whenever she wanted if she just asked the right way. She's a demon, after all, and demons are supposed to die. There aren't supposed to be exceptions to such a thing.)

(Over the last few weeks, she's realized that she is far more scared of living. She's scared of the feeling that blooms in her chest whenever Zoey hugs her from behind and whispers something just a little too soft. She's scared of the way her heart pounds when Mira looks at her like she's seeing something Rumi can't.)

(She's scared of how much Bobby cares and how easily she lets him fill the role of a father she never had. She's scared of the idea that someone could look at her and see anything less than a monster. She's scared of everything and nothing all at once, and that feeling strangles her from the inside until all she can feel is the pain.)

For the first time in her life, Rumi realizes she doesn't want to die.

All of those years chasing death, begging and pleading to the one person who knew why, and she finally gets it when she doesn't want it anymore.

Selfish.

Survive.

Notes:

man, i love cliffhangers!

Chapter 7: an evolution of fear

Notes:

hope this makes up for last chapter! (it wont)

Bobby has been in bed for all of forty-five minutes when the feeling erupts in his chest. He's half-asleep when it happens, launching up and out of bed and stumbling right into the wall with a curse word slipping free as he holds his palm against his chest. He gasps and chokes, leaning against the wall for only a moment before he stumbles out of his room to follow the thin blue line that's always guided him.

And then he screams, because half of a fucking tiger is looking at him from inside of his floorboards. He screams and grabs the first thing he sees, tossing the heavy-duty stress ball Rumi used when she couldn't get her claws to retract with all of his strength. It bounces harmlessly off of its nose, and he watches with horror as its eyes slowly track the ball and...

It slowly reaches out and pads the ball. It doesn't really roll, because it doesn't have traction like that, but the tiger doesn't seem bothered by the fact that it's not moving much. Bobby's mouth drops open at the spectacle, but then the feeling in his chest flares up and suddenly the tiger in his living room isn't the biggest problem by far.

"Okay, tiger, nice to meet you, but I have to—"

Bobby screams again, stumbling back and nearly tripping over his own feet, as a bird swoops down in front of his face. It flies around the room and lands on top of the tiger, who has finally stopped pawing helplessly at the toy. It's wide eyes look at Bobby with a distinct lack of cognition as the rest of its form floats up and out of the ground.

The bird chirps and it suddenly has several more eyes, all staring at him with too much cognition. Bobby's mind reels as he tries to figure out what the fuck is happening, and that's when he starts to recall the existence of spirit animals. The tiger is a zodiac animal, but the bird...

He decides it doesn't matter. The feeling in his chest is shifting into something closer to pain, and the last time he felt this way was...

He pulls onto a normally busy street and watches as an already dark night turns pitch black.

He feels the pain in his chest and before he knows what he's doing, he's sprinting to the hospital on foot.

Appa looks at him and Bobby doesn't understand, he doesn't, but he knows that something is wrong. He feels it in his chest. It hurts.

Bobby launches into action, moving around the tiger and magpie like they're nothing more than a permanent fixture he has to avoid. He grabs his coat, his keys, and just before he sprints out the door, he looks back at the creatures in his house.

"It's bad, isn't it?" He looks at the bird when he asks. It's almost instinctual, like he knows that there's understanding behind those beady eyes.

The magpie takes flight and darts out of the front door like a bullet and Bobby follows it out, watching as it waits for him before flying off towards the estate.

Fear grips him as he turns to get into his car, only to yell out in surprise when the tiger is... lying on top of it. He drops his keys when it slinks off the roof like it's boneless and smacks its head into his chest.

The magpie reappears and lands on the tiger's back, and Bobby must have lost his mind, because why does it seem like they want him to get on the tiger's back?

The magpie screeches and Bobby doesn't hesitate any further. He hesitantly climbs onto its back and has half a second to react before the tiger launches itself up into the air and starts to float.

"What the fuck is my life?" Bobby whispers hoarsely as he holds on for dear life.

---

Zoey and Mira are lounging on the couch, watching a new K-drama, when the feeling strikes them both. Zoey reacts first, dropping the popcorn bowl she'd been holding and doubling over like she'd been stabbed. Mira chokes on the feeling like it's suffocating her, reaching out and grabbing at a pillow like it'll hold her steady.

"What the fuck was that," Zoey gasps, instinctively reaching for her shin-kal and stopping herself at the last moment.

"Hurts," Mira whispers like it's the only word she can get out. She claws at her neck with her free hand and Zoey notices, immediately launching into action even as pain surges in her own chest. She grabs her partner's wrist and pulls it aside, pinning her arm against the couch. She looks into Mira's eyes and sees the same fear she feels reflected in her gaze.

"Something is—" Zoey starts, just as Mira says, "wrong."

They look at each other for a long moment before finally making the connection. As if to say 'finally', the Honmoon flickers violently, a wave of red running through the penthouse and down into the streets of Seoul.

They're out the door before either of them can make the realization that they've never felt a stabbingchokingwrongwrongwrong tear in the Honmoon before the barrier could react visually.

---

It shouldn't be raining tonight. That's what they all think as they make their various ways towards the estate.

Zoey and Mira sprint across rooftops, each movement calculated against newly slippery surfaces. One wrong move and they'll fall, and the feeling in their chest is only getting worse. They don't have time to fall.

Bobby hides beneath his coat like armor, the rain striking him long before it can reach anyone else. He can hardly see the outline of the estate through the fog, but what he can see is the violent red streaks of color that move through the entire area. He's never seen anything like it, but he knows instinctually that it's wrong.

It shouldn't be raining tonight.

---

Mira realizes where they're headed first. She slips and sends herself flying off a several-story building when she does. Her Gok-do slams into a wall, and she launches herself back up like it was intentional, but her mind is reeling.

The moment that Zoey stops hearing a twin set of footsteps beside her, she makes the same realization and pushes herself to go faster. The two of them reach the edge of the city in half the time it would have otherwise.

They look at each other and know they still won’t be fast enough.

---

Rumi's eyes snap open as the command echoes in her skull. The sword arches forward and she disappears in a cloud of red smoke, reappearing behind her attacker like she's done it a thousand times. She resists the urge to kick forward and knock her mentor over, instead holding herself steady as Celine whips around to face her.

Which, of course, gives her enough time to catch up to the fact that she just teleported. She nearly has a panic attack right then and there, the keyword being 'nearly', because then she sees something that has her panicking for entirely different reasons.

"Are you burning?!" Rumi blurts out, cringing at the slightly demonic timbre her voice has taken on... because apparently that's more important than the fact that she was nearly killed.

Celine doesn't deign her with a response, her eyes distant yet furious, and Rumi yelps in surprise as she lunges forward. Her mentor's form is sloppy and unfocused. If she could think beyond the command rattling around in her brain, she'd probably find that strange. Celine is, by default, the most skilled out of all of them, and Rumi only matches her because of intensive training and a demonic lineage that refuses to let her fall behind.

A training staff connects with her stomach and Rumi chokes as the air is knocked clean out of her lungs. She topples over and screams, the sound of bones snapping echoing throughout the courtyard. The staff slips out of Celine's hands as she drops to her knees beside her charge.

Survive.

The command rings out again as she side-steps a sloppy swing, grabbing Celine's wrist and twisting hard in the hopes of her dropping the weapon. Celine screams and elbows Rumi in the nose instead, Rumi's grip falling slack as she stumbles back in pain.

She doesn't have to check to know her nose is bleeding. She also doesn't have time. The next attack comes faster and with more precision, a combination of flurries and strikes that leaves her dizzy and gasping for breath as her feet struggle for purchase in the mud.

"Tell me where it hurts," Celine says sternly. Rumi whimpers and opens her mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a groan of pain. She rolls onto her side and Celine inhales sharply.

She trips over a rock and slams into the ground with a sickening crunch. She bites her tongue on impact, unintentionally smothering the scream that built at the back of her throat. What comes out instead is a pitiful whimper.

"Come on, let's get you up," Celine's voice is soft, but the scream that drags itself out of Rumi's throat when she's touched is decidedly not.

Her Saingeom hits the ground beside her as she rolls out of the way, biting back another agonizing scream as she puts pressure on her newly broken arm. She reaches out, grabs onto a stone tower with her working arm, and pulls herself up.

Celine's hands hover as she sobs and curls into the closest approximation of a ball as she can without moving her arm.

"Celine, stop!" Rumi shouts brokenly. Her plea is ignored and she stumbles out of the way of another surely fatal attack.

Rumi can barely dodge anymore. Her thoughts are a jumble of survivesurvive and whatishappeningwhywontshestop. She can't breathe, the downpour is only getting worse, and she's one slip-up away from finding out just how much damage her sword can do against a half-demon.

She stumbles again and again and again until her back is pressed up against the Seonangdang tree. Celine looks almost feral, hair sticking to her face, and maybe she's seeing things, but she swears her eyes are glowing unnaturally bright against the darkness.

She doesn't know how long she lies there, curled up in agony, but by the time she stands, Celine is gone. She looks around in confusion before walking away in what she knows to be the right direction.

"Please—" Rumi's voice cracks as the sword stabs into the tree beside her head. Her vision blurs, and she sways in place for a long moment before her knees buckle and she drops once more.

Pathetic.

Survive.

Some hunter you are.

You're so close.

You should let her do it.

Don't give up.

It's what you want.

By the time Bobby's house is in view, she has an excuse ready. Everything hurts, but he'll help. He always helps.

"You're not a mistake, Rumi. Please don't say that about yourself."

"It's okay to be scared, but your friends...care about you...and I care about you. I care about you, Rumi. Please don't give in."

"Don't fucking hurt her!" Bobby screams.

"Because you're not a demon. You're Rumi," Bobby says.

"I've got you," Bobby murmurs, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "I've got you."

"Get the hell AWAY FROM HER!"

Lightning strikes and, bathed in light, the scene shifts. Bobby launches off the tiger before it's touched the ground, one hand reaching out for something unseen. The Honmoon hums in anticipation recognition as Celine hesitates, turning to face the new variable.

She opens her mouth to say something, but Bobby is already reeling back his fist. His fist connects with her nose and she stumbles back, the Saingeom finally dropping out of her hand and sinking into the mud.

He brings up his other hand on instinct and poises himself between Rumi and Celine with something long and pointed, several other sharp points jutting out of the shaft like a silent threat. There is nothing but fury in his eyes as he wields the Nangseon like it's always been there, like summoning weapons was just a part of his ever-expanding repertoire.

Celine sputters and takes a step forward. "You don't know what you're doing."

There is venom in every word, but Bobby is familiar with poison. He's worked in the idol industry since before he was legally allowed to, all for the sake of this woman's interests. He was a leak waiting to happen, the one person who could tear down the Sunlight Sisters' legacy with talk of a half-demon monstrosity living under her care.

Every terrible word he's ever had the displeasure of hearing drips off the pointed edges of his Nangseon in the form of very real, very potent poison. "Take another step forward and it'll be your last."

Celine, in a moment of clarity, does not take another step forward. She stands there, mouth slightly agape, and regards a man she always knew could be a threat. That's why she kept him around, kept him close, controlled his pay and movement and made him sign enough NDA's to make the devil cry. She thought she'd contained the problem.

She never realized the problem could evolve.

"...Bobby?" Rumi slurs, the word laced with confusion.

"You're gonna be alright," Bobby assures her without looking. He wants to stop everything he's doing, but he knows he can't. Not until the threat is dealt with. "Just stay awake for me, okay?"

"..Mmnkay..." Rumi mutters, exhaling softly. She sounds like she's going to do the exact opposite.

Celine laughs, and Bobby nearly impales her right there and then. She's not even looking at him anymore, despite the pointed edge of a spear being close enough to draw blood if she so much as moved the wrong way.

Bobby has never felt this much pure, unadulterated rage before. It's constricting and yet the most free he's ever felt, and he revels in the way Celine's eyes snap back to him when he takes a step forward.

"I never liked you," Bobby says, and he surprises himself with how calm he sounds. "But I didn't think you were a monster."

"The only monster here," she points at Rumi, "is that thing."

Bobby's eye twitches. "She's not a thing. She is a human being, and you know that as well as I do."

"Well, she sure doesn't act like it," Celine spits. "She's lost control how many times since you met her? How many times have you had to hide the fact that she hurt you because she'd cry to make you feel bad?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Venom slips into his voice, and yet he doesn't fix it. Not this time. "Are you insane? Do you hear yourself?!"

"She lies about everything!" Celine argues.

"Because you made her!" Bobby roars. "You told her to lie to her friends, to the public, to me, and you have the nerve to complain about it?!"

"Well, if she hadn't been born a mista—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Bobby growls. "Rumi is incredible, and anyone with half a brain-cell knows it. She is kind, and she cares so much for the people around her, and she does it all while you make her believe that she's nothing more than a demon."

"She is a demon!" Celine argues.

"She is my daughter, and you would do well to remember that."

(And if lightning strikes again, neither party notices the figure standing up in the tree. They do not notice, but Rumi does, having propped herself against the tree and tipped her head up to keep herself awake. She notices the man standing there, hand poised at his side like he was waiting for a reason to strike. The man's gaze drops to hers and for a moment the world stills.)

(And then the world is bathed in darkness, and Rumi slips into unconsciousness before she can question what she saw.)

"Oh?" Celine snickers and it sounds wrong. "She's your daughter? Fine then, you can have her. She's more trouble than she's worth."

Someone shouts his name and Bobby turns in confusion to see Mira and Zoey sprinting through the rain towards them. He shouts for them to be careful and turns back to Celine.

The space where she once stood is empty.

. . .

“Fuck.”

Chapter 8: dear ex-lover, it's been a while

Notes:

bobby lore?! in my fic?! more likely than you'd think!

(Pride roars in his chest, but it is not his own.)

Bobby stands frozen, eyes locked on the place where Celine stood only a moment prior. Where had she gone? How had she moved so quickly? The curse slips before he can stop himself, and then everything hits him all at once.

The Nangseon slips out of his hands and before it can even hit the ground, it vanishes into starlight. His eyes shift down towards the very present Saingeom, its blue hue nearly gone, and then spins on his heel with enough force to make him nauseous.

"Rumi–" he breathes, closing the distance and dropping to his knees in front of his charge. He doesn't see any immediate signs of breathing and a new kind of fear grips him.

"No, not like that. A little lower. Do you feel it?"

"Yeah... isn't it a little... fast?"

"Only because you're looking at me like that."

Bobby blinks away the memory and places two fingers against her trachea, searching for a pulse. His throat constricts in fear when fifteen seconds go by and he doesn't feel anything. He switches to the other side and counts the seconds in his head.

Ten, eleven... there. It's weak enough that anyone else would've missed it, but undeniably real. Bobby presses his forehead to Rumi's for just a moment as relief floods him, a quiet 'thankyouthankyouthankyou' falling from his lips like a prayer, and then he forces himself back into action.

"Girls! Get over here!"

As if on cue, either side of him is flanked by two members of Huntr/x. He doesn't have to look to know they're terrified, but he also doesn't have time to placate them.

"We need to get her home," Bobby all but demands. He glances over to where the tiger had landed and finds them gone. "Please tell me you didn't run the whole way."

"No," Zoey gasps, sounding entirely too out of breath for that to be true. "We kind of... stole your car."

Bobby processes the words and somehow, he's never been more relieved at the idea of these girls driving. "Is it still operational?"

Mira scoffs, but there's fear hidden beneath it that Bobby will address later. "I'm not that bad at driving."

"You nearly drove us off a bridge one time," Zoey quips in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"The GPS told me to! I didn't realize there was construction!" Mira defends, more on instinct than anything else.

"Well, maybe if you were—"

"Girls!" Bobby snaps, his patience boiling over.

They simultaneously apologize and Bobby shakes his head, shifting to pick up Rumi. He puts one arm under her legs and the other at her back.

"This'll only work if they're very light, or..." Bobby yelps as he's suddenly lifted. "You're very strong."

She's too light. Has she been eating enough? Shit, he hasn't been paying enough attention. "Where'd you leave the car?"

"By the estate," Mira answers, and Bobby is thankful that she's not letting the panic cloud her thoughts. "Not far."

"You didn't leave it running, did you?" Mira shakes her head and Bobby nods. "Okay."

The three of them start towards the estate, Zoey still holding onto her shin-kal like there might be a threat behind every shadow. Bobby doesn't blame her.

"You can feel the Honmoon," Mira states bluntly.

"More than that, it seems. I didn't know until just now, if that helps."

She mutters something that sounds suspiciously like 'not really' and he resists the urge to roll his eyes. He has bigger problems to deal with than Mira being dramatic about something. That's practically her default, even if she likes to pretend she doesn't care at all.

"The rain is slowing down," Zoey observes, and she's right. The rain has slowed down substantially. He's almost mad about it, because of course it would only stop pummeling them after the danger has passed. "That's good, right?"

"Yes," Bobby answers shortly. He doesn't mention that Rumi has been out here for longer than all of them, or that he can barely feel her pulse, or how Celine had been seconds from swinging a sword into Rumi's neck like some sort of executioner.

He just walks, and the girls walk with him.

"So.. where were you last night?"

"Work went late, I'm sorry."

"Right. I just missed you."

"How can I make it up to you?"

"..Just come here, please."

"Someone get my phone out of my pocket," Bobby asks suddenly. "Please."

"Which pocket?" Zoey asks, already in the process of doing what he'd asked.

"Left."

He feels Zoey pull something out of his jacket pocket and silently hopes that his phone didn't get damaged by the rain.

"What's your passcode?"

"Hmmm.. you're the sentimental type, so.. is it our anniversary?"

"Myung! Don't look at tha–"

"..Bobby, what is this?"

"The huntr/x debut," Bobby responds absently, his mind elsewhere.

"I can explain.."

"Is this why you've been hiding me whenever we go out? Because... because of them?"

"I...I'm sorry. I've just been so...scared."

"Do you think I'm not? That I don't worry we'll get jumped if the wrong person sees us holding hands?"

"Myung.."

"Bobby, we go to places where we can be safe and you still pretend I'm not yours."

"Aw, Bobby!" Zoey beams, and she's probably grinning, but he's not really looking.

"I've been trying to be better about it, I swear! I just.."

"I didn't know telling your dad we aren't dating anymore counted as trying."

"..by? What did you want your phone for?" Bobby blinks, and the world comes back into focus. The estate is finally coming into view. He shifts Rumi in his arms, feeling a faint breath against his neck that assures him that she's still breathing.

"If you open my contact list, there's... the contact at the top, the one in my favorites. Can you call them for me?"

Zoey frowns in confusion but does as she's told. "Do you want it on speaker?"

"That's fine," Bobby replies, voice clipped. This is probably a terrible idea, but...

The phone rings once, twice, and then three times. Each sequential ring feels like a punch to the gut, but not one he doesn't deserve. He just... needs him to pick up.

"...Do you hear that?" Mira mutters. Bobby shakes his head. All he can hear is the phone ringi...

"Look, you can set custom ringtones now."

"Really? What did you put for mine?"

"Stereo Hearts, since you're so into American music."

"...How original."

The song reaches his ears and he nearly freezes. He forces himself to keep walking. Why can he hear another phone? Why is it playing that song? It's a coincidence, surely. He has no reason to be here..

'I only pray you'll never leave me behind, because good music can be so hard to find..'

"Myung... I've never really told you much about my dad, have I?"

"No, you haven't."

"...He's not a good person."

'I take your hand and hold it closer to mine.. thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind.'

"Like, uh.. really not good. He doesn't like people like us."

"People like us?"

"..You know. Gay people."

"Oh. Well, that's not surprising. Not a lot of people... like us."

"He just got out of prison."

"...What?"

"He... he killed someone, Myung."

"Bobby? We're almost to the car."

Bobby blinks against a sudden pressure in his eyes. "Can you... Can you carry her, please?"

Mira wordlessly steps in front of him, and he transfers Rumi into her arms. He turns to Zoey, holds out his hand, and she looks confused for a moment before realizing what he wants. She deposits his phone into his open hand and gives a small, if slightly confused, smile.

He looks down. There's a new crack across the screen, but that's not what he's looking at.

The call failed. Myung didn't answer. He taps the 'call again' button and waits.

His phone rings once, twice..

'My heart's a stereo—'

"Girls, go start the car and get the heat going. There's a blanket in the trunk. Make sure you take off her hoodie."

"Seriously? Where are you going that's more important than this?" Mira asks angrily.

"Mira..." Zoey whispers hesitantly.

"He's a paramedic," Bobby mutters, turning and breaking into a jog towards the estate before either girl can respond.

"What the fuck," Mira spits, anger flaring up as she holds Rumi close.

"Let's just... get her to the car, okay? I'm sure Bobby knows what he's doing," Zoey says in an attempt to placate. Mira doesn't respond, simply turning and walking towards the car that sits only a few meters away.

---

Bobby doesn't know what he's doing, but really, that's nothing new. He likes to control the variables, likes to make himself seem put together and on top of everything, but the truth is, Bobby never knows what the hell he's doing.

He didn't know what he was doing when he followed the first blue line in the middle of the night, and he didn't know what he was doing when he found a man trying to help someone bleeding out in the middle of the street and ran up to help. He had no fucking clue what he was doing when the man started barking out instructions, but he held pressure on a wound that he'd later learn should have been fatal, and then he learns his name.

Bing Myung.

After that fateful night, they ran into each other everywhere. He sees Myung at a coffee shop, and then at the market, and then among a group of prospective trainees for an idol group. By the time he finally works up the nerve to re-introduce himself, Myung has flunked out of idol school and is drifting aimlessly just like Bobby. The connection snaps into place as they fall into each other's orbit, fully aware that they could just let this fizzle out, but too stubborn to let it.

He breaks into a sprint when he sees someone pacing in the courtyard. They shout angrily, and Bobby doesn't flinch at the demonic timbre that accompanies it.

Wait.

The what?

Bobby gets close enough to see who's in front of the estate and his heart nearly leaps out of his chest and right into a ditch. He has the same wild purple hair styled like he was ten years behind on the trend and didn't give a flying fuck, rings adorning almost every finger for when he inevitably got into a street fight, and not because he thought they were cool.

"Myung?!"

The stranger Myung turns and his bright amber eyes widen in surprise. Bobby's breath catches in his throat and he stumbles to a stop only a few feet away from his ex-lover... or someone who'd look a hell of a lot like him, if their skin wasn't a demonic shade of purple.

"Bobby? Where's Rumi? What happened? Is she okay?!" The words fly out one after the other and Bobby recognizes the panicked lilt in his voice. He forces himself to close the distance and puts his hands on Myung's shoulders.

"Myung, breathe!"

Myung's eyes narrow into slits as he takes an exaggerated breath in, holds it, and then exhales softly. He looks into Bobby's eyes, scanning for something, but he can't find it. "You're not... scared of me?"

Bobby shakes his head. They don't have time for this. "Why did you say Rumi's name? Why are you here?"

'It's been twenty-two years', he doesn't say.

'You never changed my ringtone,' he doesn't say.

'You're a demon,' he doesn't say.

"I'll kill her," Myung's voice shakes with rage. "I'll kill that woman. I swear I will, Bobby."

"Who?" Bobby asks, even though he already knows the answer.

"Celine," Myung says her name with venom and Bobby would agree if the situation were any different.

"We don't have time for that," Bobby snaps instead. "I don't–she seemed okay when I left her, but—"

"Why would you leave her alone?!" Myung shouts, cutting him off with something close to fear in his voice. "What if Celine finds her?"

"Her friends are with her," Bobby assures him. "They're fully capable of defending her if it comes to that. Myung, what is going on? Please, I need to know I can trust you right now."

Myung inhales sharply. "You want my help? Even... even after—"

"I don't care about any of that right now! I need you with me to make sure she lives, Myung."

They both know what he's talking about. The synergy that flowed between them on that first night, Bobby's life-force practically dragging itself out of him to ensure a stranger didn't die. It never worked the same with anyone else, he hadn't even known what he'd done at first, but the connection...

Well, Bobby told himself it'd been severed, but he's also practiced at lying to himself. It was easier as the years went by without any indication that it remained. Twenty-two years is a long time to get over someone, after all.

"Okay," Myung nods and he takes a step back, composing himself before suddenly shifting back into a fully human form. "Okay, Bobby. Lead the way."

Bobby doesn't hesitate this time.

He just runs.

Notes:

a few songs inspired this one but most notably:

'Stereo Hearts' by Gym Class Heroes; "Just keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune. You know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you."

'Still Into You' by Paramore; "Let 'em wonder how we got this far, 'cause I don't really need to wonder at all."

'What Have They Done To Us' from Arcane season 2; "This story was over, I ripped out the end. Tell me, who are you, then?" ("Don't make me go through this again.")

and an honorary mention to 'I Can't Hear It Now' from Arcane season 2; "And there is a silence so soft, it's only memory. Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me."

. . .

(god they're so gay.)

Chapter 9: if i start to sink, would you reach for me?

Notes:

longer chapter1!! woo!!!
chapter title is from the song 'Suffocate' by Nathan Wagner. highly recommend his songs, a lot of my ideas come from his music.

Rumi opens her eyes to the edge of a familiar high-rise building. She screams in frustration and rage and the Honmoon reacts, a violent wave of red chased by a mediatory purple flooding the streets of Seoul.

She looks down and thinks about it. Really, really thinks about it. The voices get louder and louder until she can't think anymore, and then she tips forward and the momentum knocks the air clean out of her lungs when she crashes into the ground, or rather, through it.

"Get up."

Rumi forces herself up on instinct. Celine's cold, calculating gaze makes her feel small, but... She is small, isn't she? She looks down at her hands, yet unmarred by calluses from years of training, and finds her Saingeom resting there. She offers it to Celine like a reward. Kill the demon. Kill me.

"I'm not going to do that."

She hears herself plead, her voice small and childish. "Why?! Why won't you do it?!"

She receives no response. She never does.

Celine disappears in a cloud of smoke and Rumi is suddenly on the stage of an empty venue. Her feet move without her permission, the instrumentals for their work-in-progress single Takedown playing out of a nearby speaker. She stumbles as she's pushed from the side, her eyes darting to the side and finding Mira grinning at her. Someone shoves her from the other side and she already knows that it's Zoey.

Their voices ring out like nails on a chalkboard. They repeat the things she already knows about (demon-mistake-never should have been-), and then they tell her about things they shouldn't know.

Zoey is entirely too excited to tell her that she's pathetic for not even being able to die right.

She chokes back a sob and sprints off-stage, running through corridors before stumbling into... Zoey and Mira again?

They raise their weapons and Rumi doesn't react in time to avoid the shin-kal that comes flying at her and hits her in the shoulder. She turns and runs again, and this time they give chase. The corridors shift and morph as she rounds corners, and she can tell that they're gaining on her.

'Don't you want this?' The voice asks her, and she would hesitate, but she isn't moving of her own volition anymore. 'You always hoped it would be them. You didn't want it to be Bobby because he didn't understand. At least Zoey and Mira would know that they were just putting down another demon. A mistake. Bobby looked at you and all he saw was the child he never had, and that made him soft. We both know you don't kill a demon with kindness.'

"I know," she whispers. I know. I know that. It's all I've thought about for years, all I've thought about since Celine taught them to hate demons—to hate me. I am an imposter, an idol with a legacy I don't deserve, a demon with no feelings. Bobby looks at me like I'm human and it made me soft, it made me forget, but... I want to forget. I want to believe. Why can't I have this? If all I'm good for is being selfish and manipulative, let me continue to convince these people that I can be more than just a demon. Let me lie and tell them how much I love them, let me revel in a spotlight that never should have been mine, let me believe that I can be alive.

'And what would I get in return? What would I get for your deception?'

"Whatever you want," she croaks, and then she’s falling falling fallin—

Hands reach out into the void and she is ripped away from her fate a mere moment from certain death. She slams into the ground and waits for the next reimagined memory or brutally honest nightmare. The silence that follows is decidedly worse.

She feels entirely alone, unwilling to move lest she find that worse things are waiting just ahead. She squeezes her eyes shut, presses her forehead to the ground, and wills herself to remain calm.

This place is the underworld, or something adjacent. She is sure of this fact. The final threads of her life are desperately scrambling to keep her tethered to the mortal plane, and so she finds herself here, in some sort of space in-between.

Her dreams had been pleasant, at first. She recalled the way Celine braided her hair, or how she'd chide her gently for trying to touch the flame of a candle. She'd remember giving thanks to the Honmoon before every training session and after every meal.

She floated in those memories, her spirit light and her hopes high, but it hadn't taken long for them to twist into something sinister. Celine tugging at her hair in frustration because she won't sit still. Her hand being pulled forcefully towards the flame 'since you're so curious.'

Celine's cold glare as Rumi tries and fails to summon her Saingeom. Long training sessions that left her alone and in agony more often than not. Family dinners that disappeared, her thanks whispered into a cup of ramyeon from the safety of her room instead. The Honmoon rejecting her.

By the time the memories twisted into something unrecognizable, Rumi was already lost in her grief. Her shame. Now she's here, and the silence is deafening.

"Come on, get up."

Rumi doesn't recognize the voice, but that doesn't stop her from standing. The demon in front of her is tall enough that she has to tip her head to make eye contact. Rather, she would have to do that if it wasn't covering its eyes with hair like some sort of knock-off emo.

She waits for the demon to attack her in some way. To spit vitriol or make her feel small, maybe beat her until she can't do anything but ask for salvation that won't come.

They do none of these things. They just look (or she thinks they do, it's difficult to tell), and Rumi lets them. She lets them observe the way she holds herself, how she stands tall despite imminent danger. If she's to be tortured for the rest of eternity in this place, she will hold on to what dignity she still has between these episodes of torment.

"You're strong."

Rumi blinks in confusion. "What?"

"I don't know. He told me to say that," The demon says with a shrug, flashing a cheeky grin before continuing. "I've been sent to get you."

Rumi swallows harshly. "Did Gwi-ma send you?"

He shakes his head and smiles like he's realized something. "No. He's much more forceful when he wants something, which I'm sure you've noticed from the..." He looks over her shoulder at the abyss. "Whoa, is that a memory pool? He really doesn't like you."

Rumi turns and looks at the abyss she'd just been pulled out of. "A what-now?"

"A memory pool," He repeats. "You know... Takes your memories and twists them until you can't tell which ones are real anymore? He uses it when the voices aren't enough, but... damn, I pulled you out of one of those and lived? Jinu is gonna be pissed."

Rumi turns back to the demon. "I don't know about any of that. I'm not... what is happening?"

He shrugs again. Rumi gets the impression that he does that a lot. "I know about as much as you. Jinu sent me to get you. I'm just the best at tracking."

"Who is Jinu?" Rumi asks, her confusion palpable. "Better question, why haven't you attacked me yet?"

"Uh," He tilts his head like a dog and she blinks at that realization. "Well, Jinu is my boyfriend. He'd probably kill me if I attacked you, so..."

"Your... boyfriend?" Rumi mutters. "Demons can date?"

"Most demons aren't conscious enough for it," He admits, seeming unbothered by Rumi's bold line of questioning. "But my group is a little... different."

This is a trap, right? Rumi doesn't see any other explanation. "What does Jinu want?"

"Something about owing someone a favor? Jinu is pretty good about his deals. It's gotten us out of some tough situations."

"Why are you being so... honest?" Rumi didn't mean to say that out loud. Fuck.

"Any friend of Jinu's is a friend of mine," At this, the man does a short, dramatic bow. "I'm Mystery, by the way."

Rumi blinks at the spectacle. What in the world is wrong with this guy?

"Plenty," He responds in a deadpan. Rumi realizes she's still talking out loud.

"Sorry!" Rumi shouts on instinct. Her previously confident stature coils in on itself as her vision narrows. This is the part where everything goes wrong, she'd let her guard down, how stupid could she be—

"Whoa. Are you okay?"

Rumi nearly jumps out of her skin as her vision returns to the sight of the demon Mystery standing directly in front of her. She freezes and slowly tips her head up to look at him, and then he smiles and it's so intimidating—

"Still think I'm a threat, huh?" Mystery raises his hand and she resists the urge to flinch. He pushes the hair out from in front of his eyes and she expects to find amber hues glimmering with malice...

He smiles and his light brown eyes crinkle a little around the edges. "Sorry. I know I can be intimidating. I'm not here to hurt you."

Rumi exhales shakily as she stares into very human eyes. "How do you have..."

"Everyone in the group was human at one point," Mystery answers, somehow already knowing what she was going to ask. He takes a step back and lets his hair fall. "It took us a long time, but we've been slowly regaining our human forms. Jinu says that's because we're getting closer to escaping."

"..Escaping?" Rumi's mind is reeling. Some demons want to escape? Well, of course they do, but... "To capture more souls?"

"No," Mystery responds blandly. "We just want to live again."

Right. Right. Because demons want to live. That's a thing.. that they want to do...

Let me believe I can be alive.

Rumi clears her throat and nods. "Okay. Where are we going?"

Maybe this is all another elaborate trick, but Rumi is willing to suspend her disbelief if there's any chance at figuring out how to escape.

Mystery holds out his hand and Rumi stares in confusion. "What? You've never teleported before?"

She shakes her head. "No."

Something about it strikes her as wrong, but she's not sure why.

"Damn. You really are weird. A demon that doesn't teleport."

Rumi opens her mouth, the retort of 'im not a demon' dying in her throat. She frowns and decides to take his hand instead.

"Apologies, but it's about to get very loud."

---

Rumi opens her eyes to the sight of one demon tackling another into some sort of makeshift pillow fort. It topples over along with both of them, and there are several curse words slipped into the mix.

She's never felt more simultaneously comforted and alienated.

"Baby! Quit causing fights, we've got a guest!" Mystery barks. No, like, he finishes his sentence and then actually barks. Like a dog. Or a wolf? Or something related.

Rumi is terrified in a... decidedly not world-ending way. She's just overwhelmed. Or, she thinks she is. It's hard to tell. Her emotions feel like they've been diluted or shoved deep underwater. Is that an after-effect of teleporting?

"You won't hear his voice in here," Mystery says quietly. Rumi startles and nearly knocks over a... It's probably supposed to be a vase of some kind.

She can't hear his voice in here? That's...

A thought blossoms and places itself gently at the forefront of her mind.

How many of my emotions were being controlled by Gwi-ma's influence?

"Uhm. Okay. That's ok....good. That's good."

It's not good. She's having an existential crisis. How many of her reactions to things were built upon a basis of fear? How much of it was Gwi-ma's influence, and how much of it was her own? Does she actually love the girls? Does she love Bobby? Were all of her emotions being manipulated to serve the demon lord's purpose? Was she just a pawn all along?

Rumi blinks away tears and finds several people staring at her. She shrinks under their collective gazes, breath catching in her throat at the realization that she's five against one.

Five demons. One hunter.

The one with blue hair and piercings speaks first. "Sup. You always look like you're gonna cry?"

The buff one with short pink hair smacks him across the back of the head. "Show some damn respect."

"Nice to meet you," The one with a heart-shaped pendant around his neck says. He smiles and it's.. sort of charming? Rumi shrugs off the thought.

The last one steps forward, and Rumi gets the sense that he's the leader of... whatever this group is. "Hi. I'm Jinu."

That's it. Just hi.

Rumi is going to short-circuit. This is not how demons act. They're hostile and violent, not... whatever this is! The blue-haired one looks the closest to a demon's level of mischief, and that's only because he's trying to steal something out of the other one's hands.

"Hands off, B! You can't have it!"

"Dude, it's literally mine."

"Not anymore!"

"Sorry about them," Jinu mutters apologetically.

She does her best to play it off with a shrug. "It's... fine."

"Since none of them remembered they had names..." He points out each of the members.

B ("He doesn't remember his full name.")

Ro-mance ("He calls himself Romance, but I refuse. I think he says it just to get on my nerves. Look at the necklace and tell me he's being subtle.")

Abby ("Yes, he has abs. It's a terrible pun.").

"You've already met Myst," Jinu looks at him fondly for half a second before it drops. "Who probably introduced himself as Mystery because I showed him one TikTok and he decided to become an edgelord."

"It's funny!" Mystery protests weakly. Nobody says anything and his shoulders sag in defeat. "Whatever! You're all the worst."

B rolls his eyes. "You love us."

"Right..." Rumi says lightly. "An.. eclectic group for sure."

A walking disaster. Oh my god, why are they all so useless? They all look at each other with fucking puppy eyes. Is that how she looks when she's watching Mira and Zoey?

"I'm choosing not to see that as a jab," Jinu says. "Because otherwise I'd have to kill you."

Rumi stills and her hand twitches at her side like she's trying to summon her..

"Please—" Rumi's voice cracks as the sword stabs into the tree beside her head.

Her hand falls limp at her side. None of them looks ready to jump her. B is literally climbing onto Romance's back like a koala.

"Bad joke," Jinu winces. "Sorry."

"It's fine," Is her clipped response. She watches as Romance shifts effortlessly to hold B. Abby is watching, and Myst and Jinu are having a quiet conversation off to the side.

It's weirdly domestic, if overly chaotic. It's like seeing the boy-band equivalent of Huntr/x with two additional members.

"The only monster here is that thing."

Rumi flinches. What is she hearing? Mystery said that Gwi-ma's voice couldn't reach her here.

"Oh? She's your daughter? Fine then, you can have her. She's more trouble than she's worth."

Rumi looks around and notes that nobody is paying attention to her anymore. She slowly lowers herself to the ground, planting her back against the wall. She forces herself to take a steadying breath.

She closes her eyes and focuses on the chaos around her. A few minutes go by before she hears something shift to her side.

"It's a lot, huh?" Jinu asks quietly. Rumi looks over at him and nods wordlessly. "I was alone for a long time before I found Myst. At some point, I got so used to it that when Gwi-ma summoned me in front of people... well, I wasn't very good at hiding how scared I was back then."

Rumi tries to imagine it, but she finds a different image instead. It's not Gwi-ma's eternal flames that summon her. It's Celine. They met once a week at the estate under the guise of talking about the band, but... that's rarely what happened.

She shuts her eyes and inhales sharply. "Yeah. I get that."

"It gets easier, but..." His gaze shifts between the boys. B is writing something down in an old notebook, muttering like he's singing something. Rumi realizes that he probably is. He looks just like Zoey does when she's focused on songwriting. Romance is tapping his foot absently against the floor, a soft rhythm that's likely meant to work in tandem with B. Myst walks over and grabs Ro's hand, dragging him along until the two of them are dancing around each other to music that isn't there. "I want them to have a better chance."

"And you?" Rumi asks softly. She doesn't know why she says it, but something about the way he phrased it was far too familiar.

"I..." Jinu hesitates, and Rumi opens her eyes. "I'll do whatever it takes to make them happy."

"I think they'd be happy as long as you're there," Rumi responds immediately, seeing the way that Jinu's face twists in apprehension. She ignores the voice that whispers 'you should take your own advice'. It sounds too unlike her usual voice for her to listen.

"...You think?" Jinu whispers.

"Yeah."

Silence falls between them as they listen to Myst laugh and watch Romance spin him around. B hasn't looked up from his notebook, but there's a soft, barely-there smile on his face. Her eyes slip closed again, and without knowing that she's doing it, Rumi begins to hum a familiar tune. It's been ingrained in her memory for as long as she can remember, and really, it's no surprise that it's what her brain falls back on. She doesn't sing, letting the words echo in her mind instead.

‘We are hunters, voices strong....’

‘Slaying demons with our song…’

‘Fix the world and make it right..’

‘When darkness finally meets the light.’

Something in her soul settles, and the threads that have been fighting so desperately to keep her tied to the mortal plane finally grab hold of her voice and pull.

She opens her eyes and turns to see four sets of eyes staring back at her, all in various levels of shock. Realization settles into her bones and she moves to stand up, only for Jinu to hold out his arm and stop her.

"She's a hunter?" Romance whispers, sounding horrified.

"But she's a demon..." B mutters, watching her with suspicion.

"You brought a hunter into our house?" Abby asks angrily.

"...Oh. That's why he doesn't like you," Mystery mutters, seeming to put two and two together.

Her throat constricts and she can do nothing but watch.

"Relax," Jinu whispers. "It's fine. You're okay."

"Really?" Rumi whispers back harshly. "I don't feel safe."

Jinu stands and steps in front of her. This is her chance. She could bolt right now.

"She's not a threat," Jinu starts, and there are various levels of outrage at this. "And even if she were, she's under my protection."

"Why are you protecting a hunter?!" Abby growls, getting up in Jinu's face. "You gone soft on us?"

Jinu doesn't even flinch. "Does it seem like she was planning to hurt any of you? I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been having a panic attack for the last ten minutes."

She was having a... panic attack? Is that what that was? That makes… sense.

"She could be pretending," Abby argues, but it falls flat against the evidence of a distraught and panicking Rumi.

"I don't trust her, but I trust you, Jinu," B says, his voice a little strained but otherwise confident.

"She was stuck in a memory pool," Mystery admits. "And she's got patterns. She's more than just a hunter."

"She was in a memory pool?!" Jinu sounds surprised by this. "And she got out?"

"I kind of had to pull her out," Mystery admits, and Jinu looks horrified. "I don't know. I got there and there was this feeling in my chest and I just reached out and grabbed."

"Shit," Romance mutters. "Are you okay? You're not feeling weird or anything, right?"

Mystery shrugs. “I feel fine.”

Abby narrows his eyes at Jinu and then looks down at Rumi. She does her best to avoid his gaze.

"Fine," he spits, walking away without another word. The other three look at each other and shrug before returning to what they were doing. The tension in the room fades, but not entirely.

Jinu turns and offers his hand. Rumi takes it hesitantly.

"See? I told you it'd be okay."

Rumi exhales shakily. "Why...why am I here, Jinu?"

Jinu blinks. "Oh. I guess I never told you."

She shakes her head and braces herself against the wall for what’s to come.

. . .

"Your old man sent me."

Notes:

haha hi guys, you're probably wondering what the fuck is going on. i have no answers for you :D

song inspiration for this chapter:
aforementioned 'Suffocate' by Nathan Wagner.
'Lonely' by Nathan Wagner.
(all of the songs by Nathan Wagner.)
'Let Down' by Radiohead, although I've been listening to the cover by Mack Lorén. (this one is more prevalent in later chapters.)

Chapter 10: if you saw my darkest parts

It's been five minutes since Bobby ran off. There's a subtle rumble coming from the engine. The sound of heat running through the enclosed space. The two's unsteady breathing, stark in contrast to the lack of anything coming from Rumi.

"Mira. Mira," Zoey gasps like she's choking on air. "I don't... she's not breathing, Mira."

Rumi is being held up between the two girls as they try to assess her wounds in the back seat. Her hoodie is gone, discarded in the trunk, and the blanket is at their feet. The smell of copper is permeating the space from various wounds strewn across Rumi's body, blood oozing sluggishly like it has all the time in the world. It feels like intentional cruelty.

"What?" Mira frantically presses her fingers to Rumi's wrist. "No, nonono.."

It's hot in the car. Too hot. Mira had cranked it up as high as it could go, all thoughts of whether that was safe vanishing amidst the panic.

Rumi's skin, by comparison, is ice cold.

The panic doesn't settle in like it's been invited. It kicks down the door and shouts at them to get the fuck down, and the girls react simultaneously. Zoey starts to cry, and Mira tries and fails to recall the class she'd taken on medical intervention—on what to do if someone isn't breathing. Zoey's hands roam as she barely stops herself from shaking Rumi and shouting at her to wake up.

The driver-side and passenger door open simultaneously, and Mira is the only one coherent enough to react immediately. She looks up to see a stranger in the driver's seat, and a cold sense of dread washes over her.

Then she hears the shimmer of the Honmoon, and there's a shin-kal pressed against the man's neck from behind. Zoey. She looks terrified as she reaches up and wipes away her tears, but there's also a quiet sort of rage simmering just beneath the surface.

Bobby gets into the passenger seat and turns to see this. "Zoey, he's a friend!"

Zoey lets out a shaky breath and the shin-kal vanishes. She turns back towards Rumi. "She's not breathing," She chokes out.

"What?!" Bobby would cross into the backseat if he could, but he's interrupted by the steady voice of Myung.

"Are her patterns still lighting up?"

Bobby answers before the girls can. "Yeah, they're... they're red."

Myung exhales softly. "Then we still have time. She's not dead."

The car shifts into gear and Mira holds Rumi in place as they descend the hill. Zoey quickly buckles the seatbelt across Rumi's waist.

"What do you mean?" Mira whispers, her fingers still pressed to Rumi's wrist like she's waiting for her pulse to return. Like this is just a fluke. "How do you know?"

The silence stretches.

Bobby turns. "Myung?"

Myung's eyes remain on the road. "Her soul is in the underworld right now."

The way he says it isn't calm or steady. It's breaking around the edges, like he's trying to remain steady and losing the battle inch by inch. Bobby reaches over and offers his hand, and Myung hesitates for only a moment before taking it.

Bobby squeezes his hand. "She's a fighter. Always has been."

Myung laughs, brittle and defeated. "Yeah. She won't be alone, though. I made sure of it."

Zoey sniffles and presses herself into Rumi's side. Mira's fingers finally shift away from her wrist and move to interlace their fingers.

The rest of the drive is spent in silence.

---

Rumi steps out of the makeshift hut and braces for an explosion of some kind. She expects the voices to come back full-force, to scream at her until she can't breathe. She braces and then she looks like an idiot when the rest of the group trails out behind her and nothing immediately distressing happens.

There you are.

After composing herself, she takes the time to look around. She's not sure what she's expecting to see, but a barren, slightly charred ground with absolutely nothing in the way of structures or society is... well. It's unnerving, if a bit too accurate to the depictions from past hunters.

She wonders if they got information from the source.

Turning to the makeshift hut, she notes that it's fairly normal-looking, if also slightly charred. Kind of.. too normal?

"There used to be a town here," Jinu says quietly. "Gwi-ma got mad. It was a long time ago."

Rumi digests this information and tries to reconcile it with what she knows. It doesn't quite land. "You have towns?"

"We have a lot of places," Myst says as he steps beside her. "But it's all closer to the center. We stay here because it's far away."

Rumi hums softly. "That makes sense."

She hears someone mutter under their breath and pointedly ignores it.

---

Bobby has seen a lot of things. A lot of terrible, fucked up things.

This is by far the worst.

Rumi is lying on the couch. No blanket, no medical entourage trying to resuscitate her. Only blind trust in his ex-boyfriend, who also happens to be a demon. She's not breathing, and he just has to sit here and hope.

The girls are traumatized. They've been standing in the corner muttering to each other since Myung demanded they give her space. Bobby hasn't left her side, and neither has Myung. He's watching the patterns intently, tracking every subtle shift in coloration and writing it down in a notebook that Bobby did not give him.

Bobby is watching her wounds heal in real-time. Her arm was badly broken when she was in the car, but the bone is already shifting to put itself back together. The sound makes him want to throw up. Zoey already has. It's the only time she left the corner, and it was to grab a bin.

"Yellow..." Myung mutters and writes something down. "Green... How many emotions does she filter through in twenty seconds..."

Bobby taps his shoulder and Myung nearly jumps out of his skin. "Wha... oh. Hi. Forgot you were here."

"I noticed." Bobby levels him with a flat look. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Myung returns to writing. "I'm tracking her patterns."

"You know that's not what I meant."

The tension is palpable, only further extenuating everyone's stress levels. Mira looks like she's three seconds from spontaneously combusting, and poor Zoey is still heaving.

"I don't know what to tell you," Myung confesses quietly. "I didn't think this would happen."

"You didn't think what would happen?" Bobby asks, annoyedly. "What, you didn't think you'd see me again?"

Myung's hand stills as he finally looks over. "No. This isn't..."

"Isn't what?" Bobby snaps. He frowns as he realizes that he's letting himself get worked up. "Forget I asked anything."

Myung opens his mouth to say something, but then a bright orange light fills the space and he jolts in place, eyes darting over to Rumi.

"Orange," He breathes, writing it down and putting a note beside it that says 'Unease'.

---

Rumi isn't sure how long they've been walking. A few minutes? A few hours? Time seems almost imperceptible here.

There's a small, imp-like demon staring at them in the distance. Rumi's hand twitches at her side instinctively as they get closer, and then they... walk by?

The demon doesn't leap at her or any of the other demons. Only one of those things makes sense.

"Uh. Is that normal?" Rumi mutters.

"Nope."

"Great. I love that for me," She drawls, prompting a snicker from someone in the group. She's not sure who. She doesn't look.

She just keeps walking.

. . .

There are more demons now. The landscape is beginning to shift from charred stone into something else entirely. Grass, almost? But it feels weird under her feet; it gives too easily. Some sort of quicksand? But she's not falling.

None of them moves to attack. They just... watch.

Even the other guys are starting to get unnerved. B starts glaring at the demons as they walk by. Abby is standing at his full height and trying to look intimidating. To be fair to him, it'd probably work on most people. Just not demons.

"This is starting to freak me out," Rumi admits. "Why are they just watching?"

Nobody says anything and she slows to a stop. When she turns, she finds that they've all stopped dead in their tracks. "Guys?"

'Let's play a game, since you're in my domain.'

Rumi flinches at the volume and then at the insinuation. "What?" She responds out loud. "What do you mean?"

'What was it your precious Honmoon said? Oh, right...'

Rumi turns to the dozens of demons that have come out of seemingly nowhere and takes a shaky breath.

'Survive.'

(Orange shifts to green shifts to blue shifts to yellow shifts to purple shifts to red red red.)

(The Honmoon slams against its barrier, unable to reach the hunter on the other side.)

(The hunter's soul is tornsplitdivided lost, but she is not alone. There is an item forged with the Honmoon's essence somewhere nearby. How. It recalls no such item. This is not a gift from the Honmoon. Not directly.)

(Hope is not lost.)

---

Zoey and Mira cling to each other. Bobby stands stock still, unable to comprehend what he's seeing. Myung is similarly stunned.

They all watched as Rumi's wounds healed. Now they watch as new ones form. The kind that demons make. Scratches and bites and deep gashes that the average person would never survive.

They watch as it heals again, as it scars over. Zoey chokes on her spit at the realization that Rumi has never scarred before. Mira holds her tighter in response.

And then they watch old scars come into view, and Myung comes to a realization.

"She's fighting," Myung sputters. "I've never seen this before."

Bobby swallows harshly. "Fighting what?"

"Demons," Myung whispers.

Demons. She's fighting demons. That's... she does that plenty. Bobby has patched her up after many such brawls. He looks at the wounds closer and has to stop himself from spiraling when the old ones start to appear. He doesn't recognize some of these.

...No. He doesn't recognize a lot of these.

This feels wrong. It feels like Rumi's life is being painted right in front of them, yet they can't look away. Not even when Mira spots the thin, symmetrical lines running down Rumi's exposed arm.

Not when Zoey realizes just how little she knows about her best friend.

Not when Bobby feels his heart start to crack into pieces.

Not as Myung continues to grieve another person he couldn't protect.

He breaks first.

Myung drops to his knees in front of Rumi, head bowed, and whispers soft enough that you can only make out pieces. It's a lot of 'sorry'. The others are left confused. What is he sorry for? What had he done?

Was he responsible for this?

And then they hear it.

"Your mother would be so proud of you."

That's when all hell breaks loose.

Notes:

Sorry Rumi, you must suffer for the people's entertainment. Oh, and for plot. I totally have one of those.

'Innocence' by Nathan Wagner, and 'Let Down' by Radiohead will be prevalent in the next few chapters. No, I will not tell you which parts. :)

Chapter 11: the wicked things inside my heart

Rumi feels herself slip before it actually happens. Everything slows as demons start to close the distance. One of them launches forward on all fours. She sees it all like a sixth sense, and before she knows what's happening—

She blinks and she's in front of the demon on all fours. She reaches out and grabs it by the neck before it can react, reeling her arm back and launching it like a softball. There's a puff of smoke at her feet as she narrows her eyes.

This isn't a trap; not by Jinu, or the other demons in his group. This is calculated. Did Gwi-ma always know where she was?

She moves again, and a demon flies past her with ungodly speed.

Focus.

She's done this before. She can do it now. Sure, now she's trapped in the underworld and being actively tormented by Gwi-ma, but that's not really new. She's known his voice since she was a child, and it's usually child's play to block it out.

And yet there's something else that wants her to stop fighting. It's also always been there. It's different from Gwi-ma's torment because it's not torment. It's just... twisted comfort.

Gwi-ma says give up. The other voice says rest.

It's deceiving. It's probably also Gwi-ma. Or maybe it's just her.

Maybe it's just what she really wants.

'Rest. Let it happen. It's okay. You've fought so hard. It's okay to give up now. Nobody will blame you. Nobody will be mad.'

'Give up. You're pathetic. You think you can win? You've already lost everyone. They all blame you. They're already mad.'

'Don't listen to him. You're tired. It's okay to be tired. Don't you remember what your friends said? It's okay to be sad. It's okay to have bad days. You can rest. Just rest.'

'You're not tired, you're useless. You weigh everyone down and make excuses. We all know the truth. You're broken. You don't want to be here. Why are you still fighting?'

There's a demon in front of her. She sloppily dispatches it, but not before it gets a few good swings in. Another shirt ruined. Oh well.

'Your friends will help. They can help. Let them help.'

They aren't her friends. Half of them hate her.

'Your friends will help.'

They aren't friends. She isn't friends with demons. Especially not ones she just met.

'Let them help. You can't do this without them.'

No.

Rumi shifts into a fighting stance just as the horde reaches her.

She'll do this alone.

. . .

Rumi is used to doing things alone. As she fights a seemingly endless horde of demonic creatures, she quietly wishes she had help. Never mind the five likely capable fighters behind her. She doesn't even acknowledge them.

Maybe it's because she's not asking for that kind of help. She's not asking for someone to fight alongside. She's had that since Zoey and Mira showed up on that fateful day. She's not even asking for someone to fight for her. Bobby does that. He fights for her even when she doesn't want him to. The girls do that, even when they don't realize it.

She just wants help. No, she needs help. It's all getting too loud.

'You're tired. You've spent your entire life trying to be someone you're not, but that doesn't make you a fraud. It makes you a survivor.'

'You manipulate everyone around you into believing this version of you. You're still holding back.'

'It's okay to be scared of what you feel.'

'You're scared of your potential.'

'You're scared of yourself.'

Rumi lunges at a demon and throws it to the ground, ignoring the three more that pile onto her back. She reels back her fist and finds claws instead. She doesn't hesitate to tear the demon to ribbons.

"Get the fuck off me!" Rumi screams, thrashing helplessly. Her claws sink into one of the demons on her back, and she pulls, screaming out in a different type of agony when its claws dig into her skin.

There are too many. She's losing control of the situation. Of herself.

'Just let it happen.'

'Show everyone why they should be afraid of you.'

Something snaps. A demon howls in agony.

Rumi curls in on herself at the agony searing through her brain. Focus is lost, and yet...

The horde does not advance.

---

"What the fuck?"

It's not clear who spoke. It's even less clear if it's in response to Myung's words or how Rumi is starting to light up like a Christmas tree, a kaleidoscope of emotions running through her patterns.

Her arms are a warzone. There's no telling which scars are new and which are old anymore. They cross over each other in ways that should have been painful. That likely were painful.

Bobby knows in his heart that the rest of her body tells a similar story. His heart snaps in two, and he struggles to put it back together.

Mira steps forward, finally breaking the bubble of protection to drop beside Myung. She grabs Rumi's hand and kisses it gently. "This changes nothing," She whispers. "We still love you. I promise we still love you."

Zoey chokes and then breaks, stumbling forward and joining Mira in those quiet reassurances. "Please come back to us, Rumi."

"What the fuck?" Bobby whispers again, voice hoarse. "Myung, you're... did you know her mother?"

Myung slowly moves out of the way of the girls, looking over at Bobby with something close to grief in his eyes. He stares at Bobby for a long moment; his eyes are glistening with tears. He's trying so hard to hold back. Bobby has always been the strong one, the rock in their relationship, and this will break him. Surely it will. But the man is already broken, and Myung is tired of lying.

"How old is Rumi?" Myung asks, but it's not really a question. Bobby's nose scrunches in confusion, not because he doesn't know the answer, but because it holds no perceived relevance.

"Almost twenty-two..." He watches as Bobby's eyes widen. He looks over at Rumi, at the girls who are lost in their grief, and for a moment, Myung isn't sure how he's going to react.

Bobby sniffles, and then he laughs. It's not bitter like Myung expected. Bobby finally loses the battle against his emotions, and the tears start to fall, but there's a lopsided grin on his face.

"Shit," Bobby rasps, raising an arm to wipe away traitorous tears. "We had a kid together after all, huh?"

Surprised, Myung lets out a bark of laughter. Needless to say, that was not what he expected Bobby to say. "You're... not mad?"

"Oh no, I'm furious," Bobby says, sounding amused and angry in the same breath. "But I'm not mad that she's here. I could never be mad about that."

Myung sighs in relief.

---

Rumi screams and it echoes. She pulls herself up like an animatronic righting itself, and she watches as a demon flinches. She hates this. Hates what she looks like.

Hates how right it feels.

She's supposed to suppress this. She's not supposed to let it consume her. But she is one against many, and the voices in her head are screaming the same words in different phrases, and she just wants them all to shut. up.

She extends her wings to their full length and it feels like heaven. The constant ache from having to keep them hidden is relieved by one simple motion.

"Holy shit," Someone says. She doesn't look. She doesn't care.

Rumi takes a step forward and the ground shakes.

'See? I'm just trying to help you.'

She's realized what the other voice is now. It's not just another level of mockery. It's the reassuring voices of Bobby, of Mira and Zoey, interspersed with the calculated violence of her mentor.

She can rest, but that means she's giving up. She can fight, but that means showing a part of her that's disgusting. She can win, but she will lose herself in the process.

"I want to go home," Rumi's voice trembles. "And you're in my way."

Someone approaches from behind and she spins around. Jinu jumps back just in time to avoid the pointed edges of her wings. "Whoa!"

"What do you want?" Rumi asks, eyes narrowing.

Jinu reaches into his pocket and holds something out in offering.

A bracelet.

"It's from your father," Jinu says. Rumi frowns and takes a step forward. "It was a gift to him from your mother."

Rumi blinks and she's in front of Jinu. She grabs it out of his hand and stares at it for a long moment. There's a Dongsimgyeol knot tied into it.

Love. Loyalty. Luck.

She exhales softly. "My father... is he here?"

Jinu shakes his head. "No. He was going to help us get out, but something went wrong and he vanished."

"I can't remember how I got here," Rumi admits quietly. "I don't think I actually am."

Jinu nods like he already knew that. "You've been leading us to where your body is."

"My... body?" Rumi mutters. She carefully puts the bracelet on her wrist, and something settles within her soul. "If I'm here, and my body is there..."

"You're gonna be alright. Just stay awake for me, okay?"

"Bobby!" Rumi realizes with a start. She spins on her heel.

"Control your damn wings!" Jinu yelps, avoiding being skewered once more.

Rumi pays him no mind. She has demons to kill and a family to return to. "Help me fight or stay out of my way."

Jinu grins and cracks his knuckles. "Thought you'd never ask."

He jumps into the fray, and like a tether, the others fall into step. All of them have spent a fair amount of time in some form of combat; this is a cakewalk by comparison.

Rumi looks damn-near feral. She's ripping apart demons like it's a pastime, and to be fair to her, it kind of is. She's still a hunter. This is still what she does. It's just that she usually uses a blade gifted to her by the Honmoon instead of her built-in ones.

This feels ten times better. It's invigorating, tearing through mindless creatures with nothing but home ringing out in her mind. The voices are gone, but she doesn't even notice. She's too busy enjoying the thrill of the hunt.

Jinu shouts at her to duck, and she does so on instinct. He catches a demon mid-lunge and tosses it over her head. Abby is beating down demons like it's entertaining. B is dancing around them like it's some sort of game. Myst is teleporting every other second, confusing and disorienting his targets. Romance is mimicking them all like he can't decide whose attack style he loves the most.

It's a trainwreck moving in real-time. It's not elegant, and it's not nearly as coordinated as if Zoey and Mira were here, but it's undeniably real.

Rumi has never felt more alive.

Chapter 12: heart of glass, mind of stone

Notes:

thanks again for all of your support! it really motivates me to continue writing :)

Twenty-two years is a long time to get over someone. Bobby reminds himself of that fact as he looks at Rumi. Twenty-two years is a long time to get over someone.

Nine months. It takes nine months. Bobby didn't think he'd been unfaithful for that long. He thought it was a fling. Myung left, and he never bothered to find out who it was or why. He was too lost in the pain of heartbreak.

It hurts all over again. The drunken night when he confessed to sleeping with someone else. He didn't know the details, just that it was a woman. He thought Myung was confessing to sleeping with someone that night.

What he was really confessing to was that he'd been hiding a fucking pregnancy from him.

Bobby excuses himself from the room. Once he's in the comfort of his room, he grabs the lamp beside his bed and tosses it into the wall with as much force as possible. "FUCK!"

Nobody asks him if he's okay. He doesn't think he could handle it if they did.

Rumi is Myung's daughter. Rumi, his Rumi, the girl he raised like his own, is Myung's child. The irony isn't lost on him. He wants to be angry at her, but she didn't know. She didn't know, and he doesn't think he could be angry at her even if she did.

He is, however, furious at Myung, because Bobby knows just how much hell Rumi went through as a teenager. Where the fuck was Myung when Rumi was sobbing on his couch? Where was he when Celine was drilling it into her brain that her patterns were disgusting and should be hidden?

Where was he?!

Bobby's fist meets the wall and he screams.

---

Jinu isn't sure he's ever seen such carnal levels of violence. It's impressive for a girl her size, and suddenly, his mentor's request to remind her that she's strong makes a lot more sense. This girl has more scars than any of them, and yet she's chosen to fight alongside the very thing she's been taught to hate.

Abby would be more impressed if it weren't coming from a hunter. She seems slightly unfamiliar with her demonic features, which makes sense. She probably wasn't allowed to use them. He wonders if her other group members are aware of the fact that she's a demon. Or.. half-demon? She still seems human to him. He's not jealous. Mostly.

Romance is not falling in love, because he's got four boys and that's plenty. He does, however, find the way that Rumi moves very alluring. She's a bit clumsy; her wings are a cause for concern with how easy it is for the imps to grab onto them, but she has this sort of unhinged violence to her that Romance can get behind. He'll never tell anyone, but that's exactly the kind of woman he had when he was alive.

Myst thinks there's something unspoken in the way that Rumi fights. He didn't tell anyone, but he saw glimpses of the memories she was dealing with when he pulled her out, and Rumi has seen a lot of violence, but she has also seen a lot of love in these past few weeks. He can see the way it intercepts; her conversation with Jinu was calm in comparison to how she's fighting. His boys are working around her rather than with her. She's a force all on her own. They're just along for the ride.

B knows this kind of violence. It's written in his DNA from street fights and underground fighting rings. However she usually fights, this isn't it. She's pulling out all of the stops to make this oppressively violent, and B sort of loves it. He'd write a song about this girl if he could, but he'll settle for watching her in action. He can write the song in his head.

Rumi has never felt more alive, and it's starting to weigh on her. She'd usually feel guilty for being this violent. She's the anchor; the voice of reason to Zoey's crazy ideas and Mira's sudden bouts of anger. She can't help but wonder if this is what Gwi-ma wants.

She's never transformed this far. Her mutations are typically one-at-a-time; she'll have a tail, or wings, but never both at the same time. It was hard for her to stay tethered to her humanity otherwise. Yet she feels no loss of control as she fights, and before she knows it, the horde has become nothing more than a distant memory.

"Damn girl!" Jinu laughs breathlessly. "Your father didn't tell me you were insane!"

"That was kind of hot," Romance admits.

Rumi flinches, and Myst notices. He doesn't mention it.

"You did fine," Abby mutters, trying and failing to look annoyed.

"Where'd you learn to fight like that?" B asks, curiosity overpowering rationality.

Rumi shrugs and takes a deep breath. She must look insane right now. Normal demons look like, well, demons, but even her full transformation doesn't stop her from looking like a hybrid. Her skin is a dull pink in comparison to a demon's purple, and only one of her eyes is animalistic with an amber hue...

"You look cool," B admits, dragging her out of her spiral. "Like, I'd definitely freak out if someone choreographed that look into a Huntr/x music video."

Rumi blinks in surprise. "What?"

"Uh. I mean. I don't listen to your music or anything..." B mutters, looking away from Abby.

"Seriously?" Abby hisses. "Them? They are trained to kill us!"

"Their music is good!" B snaps back. "Zoey is inspirational."

Rumi can't help it. She laughs. "Oh my god. You're a fanboy."

"I'm not!" B shouts indignantly.

Rumi levels with him with a look and he nearly withers away. "Okay, okay! But only a little..."

Jinu shrugs like it doesn't surprise him. "B is the youngest. He was probably around for your debut."

"Huh. Wait. That was only like... a few years ago?"

"Yeah?" Myst chimes in. "What, did you think Gwi-ma stopped making deals?"

Rumi frowns. "No, I just... you all look young."

"We look how we did when we died, minus the clothes. We can change those," Romance offers helpfully.

It does not help. "Do you become a demon when you make the deal?"

Abby snorts. "Nope. I asked for fame, and then I got shot in a back alley after my first concert. Woke up here."

"Sort of?" Jinu admits carefully. "I had patterns after I made my deal, but I couldn't control my form."

Myst frowns and stays quiet. Rumi doesn't press. "B? If you're comfortable sharing?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I wanted to be a rapper, but I was an orphan in Seoul, and I didn't have the time to practice. My deal made it easier for the words to flow together, but I forgot the part about an audience."

"I'm sorry," Rumi says quietly.

"I was able to see your debut concert before I died," B says with a shrug. "Seeing Zoey up there made me feel like I could make it. Course, I had to die in a street fight a week later, but it's... whatever. The boys listen to me rap sometimes."

"He's really good," Myst chimes in. "I bet he could keep up with Zoey."

B shakes his head vehemently. "That girl learned how to rap in America. I'm never going to be able to keep up with her."

Jinu ruffles B's hair. "I think you could do it, babe."

"I think he gets a lot of people with love," Romance says quietly. "I was... desperate."

Abby opens his arms in invitation, and Ro falls into his arms like it's home. Maybe it is.

The conversation continues from there, and at some point, Rumi forgets that she's surrounded by demons. It feels entirely too human, the way they banter back and forth, the way they love. Is it wrong that she wants to help them? Is she betraying everything she knows if she lets them step onto the mortal plane and doesn't draw her blade to send them right back?

She stares at her hand, still demonic in nature, and then she concentrates on her wings and tail. If they can't go, then she has no right to be there either. That has to mean something. If she's allowed to live, then why can't they? Just because they made a deal with a manipulative demon lord hellbent on destruction?

The question slips before she can think it through.

"How old were you guys when you made your deals?"

"I was eighteen," Jinu says.

"Twenty-three," Abby mutters.

Romance hesitates. "..Sixteen."

Rumi feels like she's been struck, but before she can respond..

"I was thirteen," B mutters.

"Oh," Rumi responds, voice thick. "Oh, you were just..."

"We all had our own reasons," Myst says quietly. He reaches over and squeezes B's hand in silent reassurance. "But we were all adults when we died. Maybe Gwi-ma can't take our souls until then?"

Rumi shakes her head. "Still. Every time I think I can't hate him more..."

"Don't act like you care about us," Abby scoffs.

Rumi frowns. He's right. She shouldn't care.

And yet...

"What was my father's plan?"

---

Bobby returns to the living room, nursing his knuckles with an ice pack. Nobody comments on it. Myung doesn't even look in his direction.

The tension is palpable.

"She stopped getting injured," Myung states to nobody in particular. "About two minutes ago."

Zoey and Mira are still by her side, although they've stopped whispering reassurances. Not because they don't have more, but because they'd like to save them for when Rumi is awake.

"Do you think that these will stay?" Zoey asks, grazing her fingers over Rumi's exposed arms. She stops just short of the symmetrical lines lining her wrist, and her face twists like she's trying not to cry again.

"I'm... not sure."

It's unclear if the girls were listening in on the earlier conversation. Honestly, neither man is sure that they heard the lamp break in the other room.

"I can't decide if I want them to go away," Mira admits quietly. "She'll just go back into hiding if they do."

The admission lingers as Rumi's patterns flare yellow, followed by a deep, unwavering blue.

"What do the colors mean?" Zoey inquires softly, glancing over at Myung.

He sighs before responding. "They can mean a lot of things, but yellow is usually some kind of unease, and blue is usually sadness. Grief will make them turn purple."

The color starts to shift again, and they all watch as it stops on a light green. Zoey tips her head curiously. "What's green?"

"A lot of things. It depends on the context. Could be happiness, could be determination..." He trails off at the sight of Mira staring at him. "What?"

Mira shakes her head. "Nothing."

Myung raises an eyebrow but doesn't press the issue. There are more important things to pay attention to.

---

Rumi raises an eyebrow. "So he was winging it?"

Jinu winces. "It's not like there's a manual on how to escape the underworld."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Why can't anything ever be easy?"

Jinu makes a choked noise. "Uhm. Rumi?"

"Yeah?"

"Your bracelet is glowing."

Rumi opens her eyes and moves her hand away. Sure enough, her mother's bracelet is glowing on her wrist. "Huh. That looks a lot like..."

Experimentally, she concentrates on the Honmoon and tries to summon her sword. It feels strange, like she's pulling power from something that isn't nearly as infinite, but...

"Holy shit," Jinu steps back on instinct. The others do the same.

It's not her Saingeom that ends up in her hands. She can't gather enough energy for that.

She twirls the shin-kal between her fingers and grins.

"Let's get out of here."

Notes:

guys were finally getting there!!! im sure nothing is unresolved at all!

Chapter 13: hysterical and useless

The room is quiet, save for the light scratching of a pencil against paper. Rumi's patterns haven't changed from green, so it's unclear what he's writing. Bobby flexes his hand and hisses quietly before placing the ice pack on his knuckles again.

The Honmoon shimmers and sends its warning throughout Seoul, a burst of red and purple and... green?

Mira and Zoey stand on instinct, their gazes turning towards the door before looking back at Rumi.

"What now?!" Mira growls, hand flexing at her side.

Zoey runs to the door and throws it open. She gasps and instinctively summons her shin-kal.

"It's here!" Zoey shouts in surprise. Mira moves to stand behind her. "Why is it here?!"

Bobby watches, but makes no move to join them. Why would he?

Myung swallows harshly and hopes that this isn't an ambush.

---

Rumi slices clean through the air, and the portal opens without resistance. Jinu's mouth drops open in surprise. B's excitement is clear as he all but cheers. Myst grins. Ro leans into Abby's side with a smile, and Abby groans and tries to pretend that he's not just as excited as the rest of them.

She turns and points her shin-kal at them all, a glint of something terrifying in her human eye. They simultaneously flinch. "If I find out that any of you are stealing souls, I will personally spend the rest of my life hunting you."

Jinu shivers like he's been cursed. B nods emphatically, stopping himself from asking if he could maybe meet Zoey sometime?

Myst shrugs, hands deep in the pockets of his jeans.

Abby rolls his eyes at the dramatics.

Romance does a mock salute and grins.

Rumi steps to the side and smiles like she didn't just threaten them. "Okay, go ahead."

Jinu raises an eyebrow. "You're not going first?"

"Abby would probably say that it was an ambush," Rumi says with a shrug.

Abby makes an offended noise. "Fuck you! I would not!"

"You totally would," B cackles.

Rumi shakes her head and smiles fondly at their antics. She twirls the shin-kal through her fingers absently and waits as they each walk through the portal into the overworld.

Jinu is the last one to exit. He stands there for a moment, quietly appraising Rumi's calm demeanor. "Thank you."

Rumi hums absently. "Just don't make me regret it."

---

Zoey and Mira watch in horror as five very human-looking men walk through the tear in the Honmoon. They look around and find each other's gazes, and suddenly they're laughing and collapsing into each other's arms like they haven't seen each other in a millennium.

"What the hell?" Mira mutters. Both of them step out onto the patio. She plants herself in front of Zoey on instinct, Gok-do poised at her side.

The shortest member of the group looks over and sees Zoey. The girls swear they see his eyes sparkle with excitement. "Oh my god, I didn't think I'd actually get to meet you—"

Zoey blinks, caught off-guard. "What?"

The taller one finally untangles himself and takes a step towards the house. "Hi. I'm Jinu."

The one with hair covering his face nearly facepalms. "You are so bad at this."

"Why are they introducing themselves?" Zoey leans over to whisper to Mira.

"I don't know," Mira whispers, tipping her head down to meet her.

"Do we attack them?" Zoey mutters.

"I still don't know," Mira groans.

The one wearing a... Hawaiian shirt? groans. "Not more hunters."

"More hunters?" Mira zeroes in on him. "What do you mean?"

"Your girl is a hell of a fighter," Emo-boy drones. Mira tenses.

"What'd you do to her?!" Zoey growls.

Emo-boy raises his hands placatingly. "We didn't do anything."

Mira's eyes narrow as she steps off the patio. "You're demons."

"So is she," Jinu states bluntly. "What's your point?"

Jinu doesn't flinch when the Gok-do is pointed at his chest. The others look at each other as though they're unsure if they should fight.

"Where is she?" Mira growls.

Jinu juts his thumb back towards the portal. "She said we could go first."

"She what?"

---

Rumi takes a step back and looks at the portal. She should go. She wants to see her family. She wants to see Bobby and Mira and Zoey...

She wants to see them so much that it hurts, but do they... do they want to see her? She can't remember. All of the memories feel so distant.

The realization startles her. Rumi is scared.

She doesn't belong here. She feels it, even now. The way her soul screams. It's going to hurt, isn't it?

Why must it always hurt?

Rumi takes a deep breath and focuses. The wings slowly fold in on themselves and vanish. The tail shrinks until it's nothing but a distant memory. She glances down at her hand and watches as it returns to its human form, except... There are scars now. Thin raised lines from kitchen accidents and mishandling her sword.

That's... fine. They'll disappear when she goes through.

...Probably.

---

The portal closes, and nobody moves for a long moment. It's a stand-off that none of the boys want to be in, and Mira wants nothing more than to be given a reason to send them back to where they belong.

Someone screams, and the moment shatters. Jinu's eyes widen as Zoey spins on her heel and runs back into the house. Mira takes a few steps back, immediately on the defensive, but her heart is so loud she can't hear anything else. What the hell was that?

And then the moment shatters again. "RUMI!"

Mira's heart drops, and she does something impulsive; she lets her guard down and turns. It looks like there's a fucking rave going on in there. Her fingers twitch against her weapon as she turns back and sees that none of the boys has made any move to attack her while she was vulnerable.

"Don't fucking move," She snarls, and then she sprints towards the house.

The sight of Rumi, her Rumi, panicked and disoriented in the middle of the living room, drags her right back to that night on the street. The look in her eyes, the way she didn't seem to know what the hell was happening..

Bobby is the one to be the voice of reason. "Rumi, it's me, it's Bobby—"

They all watch in real time as the light finds her eyes and reality seeps back in. Rumi's face crumples as her legs give out. Bobby moves, but he doesn't move faster than a demon with teleportation. Myung appears in front of his daughter and catches her before she can reach the ground. She wraps her arms around him instinctively as he carefully shifts until they're both on the couch.

"Dad, I can't—" Rumi gasps, and her patterns shift into a violent red. Myung holds her closer as she gasps and chokes, words lost to a sea of emotions Rumi had forgotten right up until she woke up and found herself whole again.

"I know," Myung whispers, voice thick with emotion. "I know, baby, I know.. It's okay, you're safe now, I promise. I won't let her take you from me again..."

The words fall from his lips, and it's the first time he's been able to say them to her in person; the first time the words aren't being whispered into the empty expanse of the underworld. He tells her how much he missed her, and he does not tell her how he has failed, not now, while she is nothing but a shaking form in his arms, but he has failed, irreparably, and perhaps he does not deserve redemption, but he also knows that is not his choice.

The others watch (and yes, more than three people are watching now, because this girl had saved them, whether they wanted her to or not, and that is Jinu's mentor cradling her in his arms) silently, in understanding and grief and everything in between.

Her scars are still there, bare to the world right alongside her patterns, and yet she cries, and it is the most human thing that these boys have seen since they died. Even through the love and the loss, none of them ever quite found their humanity until the moment this half-demon hunter walked into their tiny shack and, despite everything, decided to save them from the fates they'd brought upon themselves.

(And oh, isn't that the strongest thing a person can do? To come face to face with the enemy and try to understand?)

So they watch as she loses control, as her nails become claws and she digs into Myung's skin, and he does nothing but take it. The patterns pulse across his skin at the pain, but he doesn't try to stop her, not when he is built the same as her, scars never forming on skin and control ebbing and flowing like the ocean's waves. He has spent years trying to understand his physiology, how he can be alive but remain a demon all the same.

And he doesn't know it, but...

She wants to be loved despite it all. She wants people to see her patterns and not turn away in disgust. She wants people to stop lashing out at her with the intention of harm whenever they see her.

They both want the same things.

"I want to be loved unconditionally."

Only one of them was strong enough to resist the deal, in the end.

Notes:

is the pacing atrocious? yup! do i care? nope! hope you guys enjoyed it anyway!

Chapter 14: a little bit of everything, all of the time

Notes:

had to make sure i paid rent or something idk

anyway new chapter!

If anyone were to ask Rumi what happened the moment she stepped through the portal, she would say everything. Every moment in her life flashing by in the blink of an eye, ending with the image of Celine pointing a Saingeom at her with glowing eyes and Bobby telling her to stay awake.

The guilt had overwhelmed her so thoroughly that the moment she woke, she launched herself at the first person she saw and called out for her father. She didn't hear the words spoken in response, and she certainly didn't know that the person holding her wasn't Bobby.

Yet, as she slowly succumbed to exhaustion once more, she felt oddly safe in the stranger's arms. The way they carded their fingers through her hair like it was something they'd done before, soothing words falling from their lips and lulling her into a sense of safety that couldn't be anything but real.

So she let herself slip, and when she woke again from a blissfully dreamless slumber, she was still in their arms.

Still safe.

The first thing that hits her when she wakes up is the scent. They smell like the ocean, like the beach Zoey begged them to visit when they were on tour in America. It's a strange thing to notice, and yet it feels right as she grumbles and presses into the stranger's chest.

This is, of course, when everything starts to crumble and fade. The memories of her adventures on the shores of Los Angeles fade as she begins recalling more recent memories: the way the air smelled, and how she wondered if it was going to rain.

It had rained. Rumi remembers that now. It had been a freak storm; one moment there was nothing, and the next she was tripping over a rock and slamming into the ground with a sickening crunch.

There had been a storm brewing in her mentor's eyes. What was the tipping point? She'd said something about... "—all of a sudden it felt like someone punched a hole clean through my soul."

Rumi sniffles, and someone runs their hand across her back in smooth, repetitive motions.

"Once wasn't enough? You had to take her from me a second time?"

What had Rumi done? Why can't she remember?

"Sshh.. It's okay."

Rumi tenses at the unfamiliar voice.

"I can't feel the Honmoon anymore."

Oh. There's the tipping point.

The memories come back like a flood, and suddenly she can't breathe. She thinks she might be crying, but she can't tell over the din of agony piercing her skull. Every word, every attack, every moment drags her further and further until she's not even sure she's conscious anymore.

She hears herself speak. "It hurts."

Hears the response. "I know. I'm so sorry."

And then the world comes back into focus once again, slow at first and then dizzyingly fast, and she inhales sharply at the sudden change. It feels like her mind and body are going through a blender as she finally wills herself to pull away from the stranger's grasp.

She looks around the room and blinks several times in rapid succession. This... isn't Bobby's house.

Someone comes out of the kitchen holding a mug and freezes when he sees her. Rumi's brows furrow. "Jinu?"

She cringes at how raspy her voice sounds. He gives an awkward, lilted smile, but it seems genuine. "Hey."

Someone grumbles beside her, and she finally turns to look at the stranger who'd been holding her. Which she now realizes is weird.

"Hey, kid. Welcome back."

Rumi blinks. "Who are you?"

Someone sputters, and she looks over to see Jinu struggling to stay upright. She watches, a little amused, as he barely holds onto the mug in his hands. What was that reaction for?

She turns back to the stranger. "I'm a friend of Bobby's."

"Oh," Rumi responds dumbly. That makes... sense. "Where is he?"

As if on cue, Bobby rounds the corner and slams right into Jinu, sending him toppling to the ground. He doesn't even look back, just shouts "Sorry, Jinu!" and then appears in front of her.

Rumi closes her eyes and exhales softly, trying and failing to hold in a small laugh. "Solid entrance, Dad. I'd give that one a seven."

"Only a seven?!" Bobby scoffs like he's offended. "I even made Jinu into a bowling pin!"

Rumi nods in assent. "That's true. An eight, then."

Bobby grins and does a fist pump in celebration. She watches as his expression changes into something soft, his eyes scanning her in the way he always does when he's trying to figure out how she's feeling. "...How are you feeling?"

The hesitance is new, though. Rumi shrugs. "I feel like I just went through a blender."

Bobby nods solemnly. "You had us all scared for a second there."

Rumi... doesn't know what to say to that. She looks down, and her breath catches when she sees her exposed arm. Her patterns begin to glow a deep purple as she sees the scars lining her previously untouched skin.

Well. Not untouched. She's just never... never been able to scar. She shifts uncomfortably in place. "Uhm... can I... hoodie.."

"Of course," Bobby says softly. "I'll be just a minute. Do you want the girls out here?"

Rumi nods so quickly that she makes herself dizzy. Bobby disappears, presumably to get a hoodie out of her room, because they are in the penthouse, a fact that is only now settling into her mind.

The stranger clears his throat. "Are you... Do the scars bother you?"

She once again finds herself wondering who this man is. Even worse, she's already opening her mouth to respond. "I don't know."

Yes, she doesn't say. I could say I was born with the patterns. I can't spin this. I can't lie. Everyone can tell that I'm broken now.

Halfway into another spiral, the stranger reaches out and places his hand on her shoulder. She tenses at first, but strangely, after a moment... Rumi almost feels at ease. She looks over and finds him watching her with the same kind of look Bobby just had. Soft. Protective.

"Who are you?" She asks again, softer this time.

He smiles again, but his eyes are swimming with an emotion she can't name. "Just a friend."

"What's your name?" Rumi tries. "At least tell me that much."

"Myung," He offers.

"...Thank you, Myung."

She doesn't know what she's thanking him for. She has no time to think about it when someone launches themselves over the back of the couch and crashes into her. Zoey.

"Ohmygodyoureawake—" Rumi barely catches a word of what she says. Zoey lets out something dangerously close to a sob and then continues her word vomit. Rumi resigns herself to this position and looks up to see Mira standing there with a hoodie in her hands.

Rumi peels away from Zoey without a second thought and grabs it, putting it on with the expertise of someone whose closet is 90% hoodie and 10% other.

It's at this point that she realizes Zoey isn't talking anymore. She turns and sees that Zoey has created some distance between them. She can almost see the cogs turning in her head. "You're not being too much. Come here."

Zoey crashes into her again, and Rumi pats the space beside her in silent invitation. Mira huffs and drops onto the couch with absolutely zero grace. The three of them quickly entangle themselves in ways that are mostly comfortable.

Jinu finally picks himself up and collects the mug from where he'd just put it down. He takes a sip and looks over at the three of them, and Rumi silently dares him to say anything stupid, and then she questions why she's doing that. It's not like he's said anything stupid...

"Gay," Jinu says in a complete deadpan.

Nevermind.

"That's rich coming from you."

Jinu grins. "You didn't deny it, though."

"I should've left you in the underworld," Rumi grumbles.

"I'm too pretty for that," Jinu says with a wink. Rumi looks for something to throw at him, but by the time she looks back, he's already disappeared around the corner.

Neither girl says anything in response to the interaction. Not because they don't want to; they just don't know the boundaries anymore. Neither of them expected her to be this coherent, let alone this expressive, and neither of them likes it much. It's suspicious. They share a look that says exactly that.

Rumi turns and places her chin on Mira's shoulder. "Missed you."

Mira does her best not to react. Zoey watches in real time as Mira nearly spontaneously combusts.

"Missed you too," Mira does not squeak out. Her voice was perfectly even, thank you very much.

"What about me?" Zoey pouts, curling further into Rumi's side.

"I missed you, too," Rumi admits quietly. "A lot. I missed you both a lot. I didn't know if..." She inhales softly and holds it for far too long. By the time she exhales, the initial words have died in her throat. "How long was I... gone?"

Zoey chokes and burrows her face into Rumi's side like she never wants to let go. Mira goes entirely still. "Guys? How long was I unconscious...?"

Myung is the one to respond. "You weren't unconscious, Rumi."

Rumi blinks, confused. "What do you mean? I was... Celine was... and then..."

Slowly, but surely...

"Oh."

It's barely even a word. Hardly a syllable. Yet it hits her all the same.

"Oh," She mutters, like a record repeating itself.

She didn't fall asleep, did she? Bobby told her not to fall asleep, and she... she hadn't fallen asleep, because she...

"I died," Rumi says quietly, and all three girls feel the Honmoon react; a soft pang in their chests as the metaphorical bullet finally dislodges itself and falls from her chest. "Celine killed me? How am I..."

Rumi startles herself with how easily the next thought comes.

Why did you fight?

She doesn't speak it out loud.

"I'm sorry," She says instead. "I didn't..."

"Don't you dare apologize!" Mira snaps, and the moment snaps right along with her. Rumi startles, trying to pull away, only to remember that she's trapped between her girls. "There's—you did nothing wrong, Rumi, do you understand me?"

Didn't I?

"It's not your fault, Rumi," Zoey sniffles, and Rumi feels her heart plummet into her chest. "It's—it's her fault!"

"I..." Rumi doesn't understand. "I'm..." What do they mean it's not her fault? "But I..."

"Don't," Mira growls, turning and forcing Rumi to shift away. The words vanish when she sees the fury in Mira's eyes. "Don't you dare try to blame yourself."

"I..." Rumi swallows harshly. "Okay," She whispers. "I won't..."

Liar.

You're just sparing them the trouble.

Rumi exhales shakily and pushes the voices back as far as she can. She's... mostly successful.

Don't let them notice.

"Uhm, well, now that we've got that out of the way..." Rumi's stomach rumbles. "Do we have any food?"

"Oh," Zoey clears her throat and sits up. "Yeah, I think the Sajas are making a buffet to thank you?"

"The Saja's?" Rumi echoes.

"The five demons?" Zoey responds, confused. "They introduced themselves as the Saja Boys."

"Oh," Rumi blinks. "Wait."

. . .

"What do you mean they're making a buffet?!"

Notes:

putting rumi through emotional whiplash, episode 23904723987

Chapter 15: what if i cant get up and stand tall?

Rumi honestly isn't sure what she expected when she walked into the kitchen, but this... wasn't it.

Jinu sprints past her with a pan, except whatever's in the pan is on fire. B is watching from the corner, as if he's scared to interject, having somehow acquired a phone. A glance tells her that he's already trying to figure out what they can order instead. Keyword being trying, because clearly he's never fathomed spending the amount of money plastered across the total screen, and she thinks he might be having a panic attack.

Abby is the only one who seems to have any idea what he's doing in the kitchen. Myst is... trying to help, but Romance seems to be making it his job to terrorize the man with affection, which means the vegetables Abby asked him to chop are still untouched.

Rumi walks over to B and waves a hand in front of his face. He jumps and looks over, and she watches as his face floods with relief. "Oh, thank god, someone who knows what's happening. They—those monsters just left us in here to fend for ourselves! Jinu doesn't even know how to use a burner!"

"I know how to use a burner!" Jinu snaps, not even looking in their direction. "I just... it's just like... pyrokinesis, right?!"

Their voices fade into the background as she motions for B to hand over the phone. He does so without hesitation. She allows herself to slip into familiar territory, asking each of them what their favorite foods are. From there, it's easy enough to narrow it down to three different places, all of which deliver in large quantities. Usually not a requirement, but there are... nine people in the penthouse right now. Ten, if she includes herself.

(She's not including herself.)

With all of the precision of someone who's chased Zoey out of the kitchen several times before she could start another fire, she corrals the five Saja Boys out into the living room. A quick group vote later, and she's placing the order, unwilling to acknowledge the date on the phone.

She wasn't asleep for that long. His phone must be messed up from being in the underworld.

. . .

Rumi didn't think about the fact that there was nowhere for nine people to eat. They end up dragging just about every available surface out into the lounge, which isn't a big deal, but her annoyance increases when every attempt at helping is shot down. They don't say it out loud, but they act like she's weak. Like she can't do anything just because she... what, took a fucking nap?

You died.

Whatever. They have a sort of table in the lounge now, and nobody is arguing. She half expects Mira to lunge at any moment, but so far it's only been mildly chaotic. Bobby keeps side-eying Myung, though. She's not sure what that's about. Didn't Myung say he's a friend?

"Soooo..." Zoey leans forward, eyeing up the food sprawled across the table like it's heaven. "Who's the oldest here?"

Jinu groans. "We're demons, we don't care about etiquette!"

"I care," Bobby crosses his arms and does his best impression of a glare. "Demon or not, we should respect—"

Someone throws a loaf of bread at him. An entire loaf of bread. Rumi reacts on instinct and leans over the table to catch it before it can hit him square in the face.

Bobby is halfway through thanking her when she lobs it back at the perpetrator, Ro, with surprising speed.

"Rumi!" Bobby shouts, exasperated.

Romance catches the loaf easily and considers his targets.

"Alright, that's eno—" Myung is promptly smacked in the face.

Rumi sinks into her chair, trying desperately not to laugh as Myung picks up the offending loaf. He watches as Rumi sinks lower and lower and waits until he can see nothing but her head, and then lobs it right back at her.

She squeaks and ducks under the table. The loaf hits the back of her chair with a thud, and everyone watches as a clawed hand reaches up to grab it. There's a tense moment where they aren't sure if Rumi even knows her hand has changed.

Slowly easing herself back into view, Rumi stares mournfully at the loaf of bread that has now been sliced twelve ways to Sunday by her claws. She huffs and carefully removes each piece. "Still not used to that," She mutters.

Rumi shrugs, and her hand returns to normal. "Right, so... how about we just eat? Because I haven't done that in... a while."

The living participants at the table react like they've been burned. Bobby slams his knee under the table, Mira winces, and Zoey pouts before putting on a brave face.

"Let's eat then!" Zoey chirps. She makes no move to grab anything off the table.

They are waiting for you.

Rumi cautiously grabs a piece of torn-up bread and places it in her mouth. She chews slowly and gives a thumbs-up.

There's a split second of calm, and then chaos erupts as everyone reaches for their desired food. The demons are piling over one another, Bobby is fighting Mira for a plate of japchae even though there's plenty for the entire table...

Nobody notices that Rumi is still trying to chew the same piece of bread. Nobody sees how she screws her eyes shut and exhales shakily as she struggles to keep it in her mouth. It's just a piece of bread. Why would she struggle with a piece of bread?

Well. Someone notices, but her eyes are closed. She doesn't notice that he's looking. By the time she forces herself to swallow and opens her eyes again, everyone is digging into their food and entirely unfocused on her.

She considers slipping away, but it wouldn't go unnoticed. Not with this many people. Well, maybe it would if she teleported, but she doesn't even know how—

The world tips, and she crashes into the couch with a yelp. She hears the sound of a chair scratching against the floor, and then someone comes into view from the other side of the couch.

Myung.

"You okay?" Myung asks, brows furrowed.

Rumi gives a thumbs up and groans. "I didn't even do anything."

"Happens to the best of us," Myung chuckles. "Come on, before Bobby has a heart attack."

Rumi groans again and drags herself off the couch. They return to the table and resume eating.

Or... Myung does, anyway. Rumi is still reeling from the fact that she teleported. Again.

The sword arches forward and she disappears in a cloud of red smoke, re-appearing behind her attacker like she's done it a thousand times.

She should... eat. If the date on B's phone is correct, it's been almost two days since she walked out of Bobby's house with Celine... and she can't remember if she ate before that. Probably not.

Don't waste your energy eating.

It's not like she eats a lot anyway. Well, she does while they're on tour, but that's just because of how physically taxing it is. It's... probably fine if she doesn't eat much on a day-to-day basis.

Your friends are hungry. Let them eat first.

...Yeah. That sounds like a good plan.

Rumi doesn't realize that she's been staring absently at her plate until someone clears their throat and the room settles into silence again. She blinks out of her reverie and finds that there's... a lot less food than she remembers.

How long did she zone out for?

See? They needed it more than you.

Of course they did. Why wouldn't they?

"You okay, Rumi?" Bobby asks softly. He's not the only one looking at her with concern. It's suffocating; how many eyes are on her. It feels like she's being judged.

Well, you didn't touch the food at all. They probably think you're ungrateful.

Rumi carefully places some pre-cut Gimbap on her plate and starts to eat. It's entirely too rich for her stomach to handle, but she tries her best to ignore the nausea. She doesn't want to be disrespectful. Not when they are all here for... her.

Now you're just trying too hard.

She chokes midway through another slice of Gimbap and has to forcibly swallow it before she suffocates. She carefully places the chopsticks down on her plate and stands, pointedly avoiding anyone's gaze. "I'll... I'll be right back."

She turns and walks away before anyone can say anything, disappearing down the hall and into the master bathroom. The moment she locks the door, she gags and all but collapses against the sink, all semblance of control disappearing as she holds herself against the sink and tries not to throw up.

Pull yourself together.

"Shut up," She mutters through gritted teeth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

Look at yourself.

Almost against her will, her head tips up and she looks at herself in the mirror. The reflection that looks back at her is familiar, and yet... it doesn't feel like her at all.

This is what everyone sees.

Rumi chokes back a sob and tears her eyes away from the mirror. She can't let anyone see her like this. Not now that she knows. Why had she let her guard down? She'd felt so at home that she'd forgotten her training. How—

—pathetic.

She staggers and crashes into the wall, her hands flying up to cover her ears. Nonono, not now—

I could make it all go away.

"Shut up!" Rumi growls, and she feels fangs press against her gums. She hisses in pain as they draw blood, her mouth opening slightly to make space for the canines.

I grow tired of your insolence.

The words pierce through her skull, and she barely chokes back the scream as she drags herself down to the ground. She can't hear anything, can't feel anything, except for his voice. Why is it so loud? Why now?

She hears something crash and screws her eyes shut. Her body spikes with adrenaline, and instead of fight or flight, she chooses freeze. She lies there, huddled up on the ground, as the door is kicked in.

Someone grabs at her wrists, and she struggles against them, but it's a futile effort. Her hands are wrenched away from her ears, and she thinks she does scream when claws catch on her scalp. For a moment, all she can think of is the words I can make it all go away, and she subconsciously reaches for it—

Everything goes terrifyingly silent. All at once, she hears someone breathing heavily beside her, and several conversations going on somewhere nearby, and it's all too much, but it's also real and she latches onto it, reaching out and grabbing without opening her eyes. Her fingers catch on cloth, and she holds onto it for dear life.

"I got you, don't worry, it's okay," Bobby. Bobby is here. He can—he can fix it. He always knows how to fix it. "There's nothing to fix. You're perfect, kiddo, you're my girl."

The words sink in, and Rumi feels herself go slack, the adrenaline dissipating and leaving her hollow. "Dad," Her voice cracks. "I don't... I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Nothing is wrong with you," Bobby responds with all the certainty in the world. Rumi is about to argue when he continues. "You're hurting, but I'm right here. I'm always right here, remember? We can get through this together, but you have to let us help you."

She finally opens her eyes and looks at Bobby. There's a single tear sliding down his cheek, and she reaches out to wipe it away. Her arm protests the movement, but she manages it, albeit slowly. "Us?" She whispers.

Bobby meets her gaze, and there's a quiet fire burning in his eyes. Unwavering love and determination. For what? She doesn't quite know, but it's there, and unmistakable. "Us," He repeats, and then he names them all off.

Mira and Zoey. The two halves of her world. Is this all too much for them? She wouldn't blame them if it were.

"We're not going anywhere," Mira assures her.

"Never," Zoey chokes out.

She assumes that must be what 'us' means, but then he keeps going. He names off the Saja boys one by one.

She chokes out a quiet, "Why?"

His response is, "You gave them a second chance at life. They want to repay the favor."

Then there's the one unknown. Myung. He's been here since Rumi woke up, and yet that is the one answer that Bobby can't give her.

All he says is, "He's not going anywhere."

. . .

Rumi has to believe him.

Notes:

the healing starts after this i swear.... don't mind the fact that she still doesn't know who myung is, that's entirely irrelevant!

Chapter 16: im promising that im not afraid

Notes:

so apparently juggling 3 fics at the same time is difficult. who knew? anyway I'm back!

Healing, as it turns out, is far from linear. In the aftermath of the girls finding out about her patterns, it had been somewhat difficult to let herself be at peace with the situation; she'd spent her entire life being told that her patterns were something to hide, to be ashamed of, and she was supposed to just... throw all of that out the window?

Now, with the knowledge of her death and subsequent revival always floating around in her head, she wishes it were that simple. She tries not to think about Celine, but again, her mentor's teachings are the only thing she knows. Bobby tried his best to keep her from the worst of it in her teenage years, but... the damage was done long before he showed up.

The penthouse is quiet, and yet Rumi knows she's not entirely alone. The last week has been a whirlwind for everyone but her, it seems. The boys have moved a few floors down into one of the spare suites, which means they've all been down there trying to make sure the boys don't set the place on fire.

Bobby hasn't had a chance to breathe all week. Phone calls and emails and meetings; all from the comfort of the couch, of course, but still. He's doing so much for her, for Huntr/x as a whole, to make sure that they all have time to process.

Mira and Zoey are trying their best not to be clingy, which... Rumi would be grateful for, if she didn't want them within half a foot of her at all times. She does her best to inch her way into their space whenever she thinks they aren't paying attention; maybe they don't want to be around her.

She reminds herself that her girls want to be here, and the voice fades.

The topic of a therapist comes up at some point, and Rumi doesn't outright deny it, but she does bring up that her demonic features will be hard to hide when emotions run high. Bobby simply nods and says "I'm on it”. Rumi has no idea what that means, but he looks very serious, so she lets him be.

...Which turns out to be a mistake? Of some kind. A miscalculation, maybe. Bobby knows other people who are aware of the existence of hunters and demons? She asks about it, and all he says is "the blue light guided me to them!" and she has to resist the urge to groan, because what does that mean?!

Rumi knows that he can access the Honmoon now, but the how is something that only Celine could answer, and apparently, Rumi isn't allowed to talk to her. Or be around her. Ever. She's pretty sure that none of them have heard from or spoken to Celine since that day, which... oddly enough, doesn't make her as nervous as it should. Her mentor might be missing and she almost feels.. content?

Maybe she'll bring it up with her new therapist, since she has one of those now.

. . .

Rumi doesn't bring it up, or anything of substance, a fact that doesn't seem to bother him at all. They sit in the room together for an hour after they exchange necessary pleasantries, and every time Jae tries to ask a question, her brain almost... locks up, and she forgets what she was going to say or what she was thinking about.

Jae says that's normal. Rumi doesn't think any of this is normal. She asks about his affiliation with the hunters, and he says he has none; same with demons. He's just always known they existed. Bobby showed up on his doorstep and asked if he was willing to take on a new client who might exhibit a few... unique traits, and he accepted without hesitation. Why wouldn't he put his schooling to good use?

Rumi extends her claws and holds them up for him to see, and she watches him try very hard not to be excited about the revelation. It's strange. Most people would be terrified, but he seems giddy. Like she's confirming something that everyone else called him crazy for thinking.

Huh.

Maybe they have.

The session ends, and she's left with more questions than answers. For one, how many people can see the Honmoon without being hunters? Are there people who can see demons but don't know about the Honmoon? Trauma be damned; this is worth a deep dive on the internet.

. . .

Rumi isn't sure what she expects to find when she looks up 'are demons real'. She knows what popular media depicts demons as, so she's not exactly surprised to see religious fanatics talking about how she should be... well. Needless to say, she's not surprised.

What does surprise her are the comments on these old threads. Some of them are over ten years old now, and he clearly wasn't trying very hard to conceal his identity, or maybe he had? The name almost seems to flicker and change between some sort of burner name and Bobby. Maybe it's the Honmoon's doing.

All she knows is that she starts to cry after reading a fucking essay he left in the comments. It's a post about exorcism, about how to properly kill a demon. Even back then, he never thought twice about protecting her.

Bobby finds her like that, on the couch with her laptop open to the side. He only has to read a few words before it all comes rushing back to him.

'It's honestly embarrassing that you would allow popular media to twist your professional opinion like this. For a so-called doctor, you aren't doing a very good job at keeping people alive. What happens when someone with religious delusions reads this? You're going to get someone killed all because you didn't mark this post as 'satire', because this IS satire, right? You don't believe this.'

He closes the laptop and sits down next to her. Wordlessly, Rumi shifts into his arms, and the two of them stay like that until she falls asleep. Only then does he move, carefully picking her up and walking to her room before the sun can rise. He isn't surprised to find the girls there; Zoey has already passed out on the far end, and Mira is staring up at him blearily. She shifts towards the middle, and Bobby deposits Rumi onto the bed, watching fondly as Mira immediately turns and wraps her arms around his girl.

He whispers goodnight and carefully closes the door behind him, returning to the living room and propping the lid of Rumi's laptop up again. If she'd scrolled just a little further...

'I'm entirely serious about this. Your words are not appreciated, and so I have to assume you're one of them.'

Bobby sighs. He hasn't looked at one of these forum posts in years. He didn't need to. The couch dips, and he looks over to find a pair of glowing eyes staring back at him. "Myung? What are you doing here?"

Myung turns away and closes his eyes. "Do you want the real answer?"

"Yes."

"...I felt pain. From Rumi, and then from you. I thought something happened," Myung admits quietly.

Bobby hesitates for a long moment, fighting the ingrained urge to comfort his ex-lover. "She found some old forum posts."

"Oh," Myung turns to look at the laptop, and Bobby realizes that his eyes have returned to normal. "Is she okay?"

"I... Hope so," Bobby mutters softly. "Some of these comments are mine. I think she figured it out."

Myung hums. "I mean, it's not difficult to figure out. You posted it under your name."

Bobby's brows furrow, and he looks at the name on the screen. "No, I didn't? I didn't want Ce—" He stops himself and rephrases. "I didn't want my boss to find out about my internet activity."

Myung frowns and points at the laptop. Bobby looks and watches as his post-name flickers. "It must... must be the Honmoon? Do you see it flickering?"

"Sort of?" Myung mutters, leaning over to look closer. Bobby's breath catches at the proximity. "Oh yeah, I see it now.."

Bobby wants to kiss him. Why the hell does he want to kiss him? This is your ex, Bobby! Get it together! He cheated on you with Rumi's mother! By the gods, why is his life so complicated?!

"Are you okay?" Myung asks, and Bobby startles. The laptop nearly falls off his lap, but Myung catches it before it can and puts it aside. "Bobby?"

"Why haven't you told her?" Bobby blurts out.

Myung tenses and shifts away. "I..."

"I just... she deserves to know," Bobby continues. "And she... she used to talk about you, sometimes. She always said she wished she could meet her parents—said that... maybe her life would've been better if they were around. I tried to fill that void, but I don't know, it never feels like I'm doing enough—"

A hand is pressed against his mouth, and Bobby's eyes widen as he looks over at Myung. "Stop."

Bobby reaches up and grabs his wrist, prying the hand away. "What the hell, Myung?"

"You were spiraling," Myung frowns. "I'm sure you were three seconds from listing off every way you think you failed."

He was? He didn't notice. "Oh."

"So let me just set the record straight," Myung bulldozes through his thoughts, looking at Bobby with an intensity that would make his knees go weak in any other situation. "You are doing more than enough. I see the way she looks at you, the way she talks to you... You are everything a father should be, and I am so, so grateful that you were there for her."

"Myung..." Bobby breathes. "Why weren't you there?"

It's a question he's been avoiding for a while, and yet it comes out all the same. Myung doesn't flinch or tense. His body goes slack, and he looks almost defeated. "I would've been there, but I..."

"This is your fault."

Myung takes a step back as Celine stands, abandoning her futile efforts to save her best friend. She stalks towards him like a predator, and Myung can't do anything. Not with a baby in his arms. He backs up until he hits a wall.

"Does she know you're a demon?"

"She... she didn't. Not until the baby was—"

The kusarigama in Mi-Yeong's chest dissipates, and the chain reappears in Celine's hand and whips out to restrain him. The sickle is pressed against his throat, and Myung thinks this might be it—he will die here, with his secret lover and child. A fitting end, he thinks.

Rumi cries in his arms, and Celine's gaze drops. She inhales sharply, and Myung watches as she reconciles with something in her mind. "I should kill you both," She mutters. "I should..."

Myung realizes that he can't let his child die. Not like this. "Please... don't hurt her. She did nothing wrong."

"She has patterns," Celine snaps. "She's a demon."

"She's human too," Myung insists. "You wouldn't kill a child, would you? Kill me all you like, but spare her life. If not for me, then... then for Mi-Yeong."

"Don't speak her name," Celine growls, and the sickle draws first blood against his neck. He hisses in pain but finds himself unable to move. "You tricked her. She brought this... this..."

"She brought a child into this world," Myung gasps. "And now Rumi is all that's left of her!"

"...Rumi?" Celine murmurs, and there's an edge of softness in her voice, like she's grappling with the idea that the child of a demon is named after beauty.

"But what?" Bobby asks, tone light. "What happened?"

In one swift movement, Celine pulls at the chain and sends Myung tumbling to the side. Rumi, his Rumi, falls out of his arms and into Celine's. He gasps as he slams into the wall, vision going blurry for a long moment. When it returns...

All that remains is Mi-Yeong's cold, lifeless body on the concrete.

"Celine took her from me," Myung gasps out. "And I lost it, Bobby. I tore through the streets looking for her, and then the shame overwhelmed me and I..."

Bobby almost doesn't want to believe it. He really, really wants to blame this man, but he can't. The blame once more lies with a woman he'd always despised secretly, whom he'd been forced to cooperate with. He remembers the many nights when he brought Rumi back to that damned estate, thinking that it was safer there. That Celine would know what to do.

"Fuck," Bobby whispers, one hand flying up to tug at his hair. "Fuck, why the hell didn't I realize—"

Myung reaches over and grabs his wrist to stop him from pulling his hair out. He doesn't say anything as Bobby grapples with this information, and he doesn't stop Bobby when he leans over unconsciously and rests his head on Myung's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Myung. I thought you'd... abandoned her."

"Never," Myung whispers with conviction. "I didn't have a choice then, but I do now."

"You should tell her..." Bobby murmurs, eyes slipping closed.

Myung hums and holds him closer. "When things calm down, I will."

"..M'mkay.."

Myung stifles a laugh. Bobby has been overworking himself all week; it's no wonder that he falls asleep right then and there. He shifts to get more comfortable and rests his head on his ex-lover's.

Maybe he should ask Bobby which classes he took to get into the industry. Myung knew about the idol part of it... he could help. Myung has no intention of leaving, so it's only right that he find something productive to do with his time.

...He'll ask tomorrow. For now, he's content to bask in the warmth.

. . .

"He... he killed someone, Myung."

"What?! Who? When?"

"...My brother. I was... barely four years old."

(I never met him.)

Notes:

the kusarigama is technically japanese, but its the closest thing I can find to the sickle she had during rumi's confrontation; I'm also aware that this probably isn't her spiritual (honmoon) weapon, but I like the idea that it is and this is MY lore damnit! (lmao)

Chapter 17: ill be your protector

Notes:

you guys want polytrix, right??? well too bad, have gay saja boys' instead (we'll get there I swear)

"Hey, Kwan?" He calls.

Kwan tips his head to look over. "Hm?"

"Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we... didn't have to hide?" He asks curiously, his eyes sparking with something close to hope.

"...Not really," Kwan responds, shifting to rest against the headboard and motioning for him to follow.

"Why not?" He mutters, burying his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck.

"Hiding keeps us safe. I don't think it's a good idea to get lost in hypotheticals like that," Kwan says carefully. It's not harsh, just... real.

"Oh. I guess..."

"We're gonna be alright," Kwan says, his voice dipping into something softer as he looks at his boyfriend. "I'll protect us."

. . .

He inhales softly, reveling in the way that the air reaches his lungs. He holds it for a few long seconds before exhaling. This is all so new to him, a fact that would usually scare him, but for once...

Myst is right where he wants to be.

. . .

"Kwan! They're coming!" He shouts from down at the far end of the alleyway.

"Shit. Okay, up the ladder!" Kwan barks out the command as he sprints down the alley, leaping up and onto the rungs of the ladder just after his partner.

"Ow! Fuck!" He shouts, something red soaking through his pants.

"Don't give up, keep climbing!" Kwan shouts, willing him not to look.

"I'm trying, damnit!"

. . .

Life was so different back then. He knows that the others have struggled in similar ways, but...

It's hard not to be envious.

. . .

"Kwan... I don't know if I can do this anymore," He whispers in the safety of their hotel room.

Kwan rolls over to look at him. "...Don't talk like that. It's gonna be alright, remember?"

"No.. I don't think it will," He admits, and there are tears in his eyes as Kwan pulls him closer.

. . .

The memories have been coming back in flashes since they emerged from the underworld. He can't tell if it's Gwi-ma trying to retain control, or if it's the familiar surroundings dredging them up, but he wishes they would be quiet for once.

He mourns the loss of their small sanctuary in the underworld. He still doesn't understand how Jinu was able to block out Gwi-ma's voice in there.

. . .

"I love you, Kwan," He murmurs, the two of them dancing slowly in a crowd of people doing the same. They can't hold hands, but they look into each other's eyes, and that has to be enough.

"I know," Kwan responds, reaching out and hesitating at the last moment as someone's gaze falls on them. He smiles as a woman approaches and offers her hand, taking it and spinning her around.

He is left alone.

. . .

Some of the memories are happy. He remembers those fondly, a smile playing on his lips as he smokes what might be his sixth cigarette of the night. He's not keeping track. What is there to lose?

It's not like he's alive.

. . .

"You always do this!" He shouts, his voice cracking at its peak. "You always fucking run away when it gets hard! What happened to... what happened to everything being alright?!"

"Fuck!" Kwan kicks over the small trash bin beside the desk, and piles of crumpled-up papers tumble onto the floor. He crouches and picks one up, unfolding it and reading the words written. "Kwan, you are my everything, and I wish that... Jesus Christ, you can't write stuff like this! What if someone sees?!"

"I don't want to hide my love for you!" He argues, frustration boiling over as he grips the blankets. "I don't want to hide!"

"Your father will KILL US!" Kwan crumples the paper and tosses it at him. He flinches as it lands on the ground in front of him. "Society would beat us down until we gave in!"

"Seems like they already got to you," He scoffs, looking away. "I saw how you looked at her."

Kwan closes the distance and grabs him by the chin, dragging him into a searing kiss that pushes him back into the bed.

. . .

No, he's not alive. He hasn't been in a long time. Perhaps his biggest regret is that he ran away from home.

That he never got to meet him.

. . .

"Kwan?! Kwan?! Where are you?!" He shouts in a panic. He rounds the corner and slams right into someone. He reels back and his eyes widen.

"..Father, I wasn't... how are you.." He takes a step back, panic morphing into fear.

"I want you to come home. You have a brother now; you have obligations to fulfill. Not... whatever the hell it is you were doing with Kwan," He spits the name like venom.

"What'd you do to him?" He asks, terrified. A smug grin plays on his father's face, and he feels his heart drop. "Dad, what the fuck did you do to him?!"

"Watch your tone, boy," He warns, taking a step forward. "Kwan isn't going to be an issue anymore. That's all."

"Did you..." His head spins as panic sets in. "Did you hurt him, Appa? Appa, you didn't hurt him, please, I love him, you didn't—"

"You loved him?" Something unrecognizable passes over his father's face, and he finds himself frozen in place. Oh god, he's never said that out loud. He's never admitted it. "You didn't love that man. You... men don't like men, Min."

Min shakes his head vehemently. "No, I love him, I love him so much that it hurts. I love him like you love Umma—" His head goes sideways as he's slapped hard across the face. The shock is immediate, whatever words he had ready disappearing as his eyes widen in shock.

"That's enough," He says. "I... should've disciplined you better, if you truly believe that. Let's go."

"No," Min whispers. "No, I'm not.. I'm not coming home with you."

"Do you want to end up like Kwan?" He asks, and then he looks down the alleyway beside him. Min follows his gaze, and his heart drops for a second time. He's moving before he knows what's happening, one foot in front of the other as he sprints down the alleyway and drops to his knees.

"No, no, no, no," Min repeats, over and over again. His hands hover over Kwan's body, but there's so much blood that he can't tell what's worse. He finally starts to tug away the hoodie that Kwan is wearing, and he lets out a hiccup that drags out into a sob as he realizes what's happened. "Kwan, Kwan, wake up, hey Kwan, wake UP!"

He doesn't hear him approach from behind, too lost in the moment. He doesn't hear it, but he feels it. The way it slides between his shoulder blades like butter. He sputters as the pain hits, his vision whiting out as he tips forward onto Kwan's chest.

He gasps when the knife is pulled out just as abruptly. Min thinks he hears someone, thinks that words are being spoken, but he can't hear them over the blood rushing in his ears. His arms move sluggishly, pain lacing through his entire body at such a simple movement, until they are wrapped around Kwan's body in some semblance of a hug.

The realization that he will die pierces his mind first. The realization that Kwan is already dead hits second. He sobs into Kwan's chest as his vision blurs, the realization of his impending doom overshadowed by the cold, dead eyes of his lover.

The third realization hits him in the final moments. Min has a brother.

He says a silent prayer to someone, anyone, to protect his brother from the world's violence. Two entities react, one offering a deal and one offering protection.

His life is already over. He sends the protection away without realizing that he's doing it. It dances and shifts through the streets, following Min's final request as it wraps itself around a toddler and says, 'I will protect you, and you will protect what is mine.'

. . .

Myst Min stares at the patterns that line his arm and traces them with gentle insistence. He isn't mad that Gwi-ma got to him first. He's proud of what his brother has done with his life. Truly.

Knowing now that his father spent most of his early childhood locked behind bars helps to ease the hurt. Knowing that he's free again... less so. Min should do something about that, shouldn't he? He's a demon, after all. Killing people isn't exactly unheard of.

He won't, if only because he knows his father will have the time of his life in the underworld. Hurting people is what he does best, and so Min would rather him stay in the land of the living for as long as possible.

...It wouldn't hurt to visit him, though. Perhaps once he's on his deathbed. He could make it all dramatic, like the ghosts of his past coming back to haunt him. It would be funny.

It's also morbid. Oh well.

Min finishes another cigarette and drops it into the tray, leaning over the balcony and watching people walk around down below. They aren't bothered by the nighttime ambiance; he remembers being terrified of walking around at night, but in this district... that's not a problem.

Something settles in his chest and he turns to go back inside, jumping a little when he finds Jinu standing in the doorway.

"Sorry," Jinu says quietly. "I didn't mean to scare you. You just looked... peaceful."

Min laughs bitterly. "Just reminiscing."

"Yeah?" Jinu steps out onto the balcony and motions to the box of cigarettes sitting beside the tray. "Is that why you're smoking again?"

"It's not like it'll hurt me," Min mutters.

"I guess not," Jinu concedes. "But you told me you only smoke when you're stressed."

"I am stressed. I... I'm in the same room as him half of the time, and he doesn't even know! He doesn't recognize me because he never..." Min trails off, and Jinu opens his arms in invitation.

Min lets out a stuttering breath and all but falls into Jinu's arms. He doesn't cry, but it's a close thing. At some point, Jinu starts to sway them back and forth, humming a soft tune under his breath. The tension bleeds out of his shoulders as Jinu's humming turns into words, and then he's singing quietly to an audience of one.

"I love you," Min whispers, and Jinu stops singing in surprise.

Jinu leans back to look him in the eyes. "I love you too."

Min's eyes go blurry as he realizes how much he's missed those words. He presses his forehead into the crook of Jinu's neck and cries quietly, and Jinu resumes his serenade like it's nothing out of the ordinary.

"My name is Min," He admits softly, once the tears have run dry. Jinu hums and holds him tighter.

"Min," Jinu repeats, like he's tasting how the name feels on his tongue. "I love you, Min."

Min inhales sharply and then finds that the tears have returned with a vengeance. Rather than hiding away again, he shifts away and then leans in to kiss Jinu.

It starts soft, tender, like Jinu is afraid to push too far. Min has always kept everyone at arm's length; willing to be a part of the dynamic, but unwilling to do a lot of the things the others did.

Min presses forward, and Jinu makes a noise of surprise as he chases after the love he's left to fester. One of Jinu's hands shifts to rest against the back of Min's head as the two of them lose themselves in each other.

Jinu is the one to pull away with a gasp, and Min makes a pathetic sound in the back of his throat at the sudden loss before Jinu tips his head towards the door.

Min allows Jinu to guide him inside.

. . .

"How do I even tell him? Oh, hey, by the way.. I'm your brother," Min muses quietly, looking up at the ceiling.

Jinu laughs, and the vibrations go through Min's chest, causing him to shiver. "I think that would be a good start, yes. We wouldn't want you to end up like Myung. That man needs to grow a pair and admit that he's Rumi's father before she figures it out for herself."

"..Good point," Min mutters. "Where did you say you found him, again?"

"He just appeared one day. Knew my name and everything," Jinu lets out an amused breath. "I think Gwi-ma sent him at first. That's how I found most of you."

"Makes sense."

"...Goodnight, Jinu," Min says after a few minutes of silence.

"Goodnight, Min," Jinu mutters softly, already half-asleep. "Love you."

Min's heart soars. He falls asleep with love in his heart and shame the furthest thing from his mind.

Notes:

this was interesting to write, idk if you can tell but this fic has evolved into a lot more than just "rumi has a diary" lmao, but I hope yall are enjoying it... we're almost to the polytrix I swear

Chapter 18: finding myself

Jae sits in his office and goes over his session notes. Rumi is an interesting client. Never mind the obvious differences, she's dealing with a lot all at once, and Jae needs to figure out where best to start.

He left their last session with a little bit of homework. Nothing difficult, because she's still actively recovering from... dying? He's still a little foggy on the details of that, but it sounds concerning enough to keep things gentle.

She's spoken to him about how she used to write, and he encouraged her to continue doing that. He didn't fail to notice the way she grimaced at the idea, like there was something she was leaving out, but... writing is an important tool, especially if you've already been doing it for long enough that it comes naturally.

So the homework is simple, but perhaps mentally taxing. He asks her to write down at least one thing she's grateful for each day. It could be a warm meal, or a friend, but it has to be something you have now. Of course, if she wants to write down things she used to have, he's not going to stop her; it might give him some insight, since she's such a usually closed-off individual.

He underlines 'closed-off' and puts a question mark next to it. Is she naturally closed off, or is this a product of trauma? He'll need to pay more attention next session, or... No, that would be weird. Just because he resides in the same building doesn't mean he should go out of his way to observe, even if his curiosity about her half-demon lineage is rather potent.

Rumi will open up to him when she feels comfortable doing so. He's perfectly content to wait.

. . .

'Day 1 - Bobby'

The words are scribbled into the margins of a journal. She doesn't attempt to hide it; if the girls are going to break her trust again, she'd like to know about it. Rumi... doesn't think they will, but the paranoia is still there, and sometimes she wonders if maybe she deserves it.

She shakes her head and fiddles absently with the bracelet on her wrist. Rumi didn't realize it, but coming back through the portal had returned it to Jinu's pocket. That's why the voices... came back. Only after her breakdown in the bathroom did anyone notice, and she hasn't taken it off since that night.

'Bobby is the greatest best . . . Bobby is a good father.'

'Day 1 - Jinu?'

Rumi hasn't told him that she's grateful yet. Actually, she hasn't told any of the Sajas that she's grateful for them. It's strange, feeling that way towards demons, but she's... Rumi is a demon, at least partially, so perhaps it's not supposed to be. Maybe her discomfort stems from being raised to kill them.

She tries not to think about the fact that she falls into that category.

'He's nice. I don't know what to think about nice demons.'

'Are there people like me out there?'

'Day 1 - Mira and Zoey'

She writes down their names and ends up staring for far too long. She is grateful for them, but she can't tell if this is a 'past' or 'present' feeling. The girls have been distant yet close, always holding themselves at arm's length when they're around each other. Yet they fall asleep together in the same bed. It's disorienting and confusing, the whiplash leaving Rumi's heart with so many questions and not enough answers. Do they truly care? Are they just helping her recover? Or is there... some other reason?

'I love them, but I don't know if I can trust them again. Not yet. Mira is an amazing cook. Sometimes I wake up to breakfast in bed, and we laugh and joke like nothing is wrong. Zoey has given me twelve new stuffed animals since I got back. They have names. I'm not sure I chose them.'

'I don't know if they love me back. I wouldn't blame them if they didn't.'

'Day 1 - Myung???'

'I still have no idea who he is, but he held me through panic attacks episodes. I think I might've clawed him at some point? He doesn't scar because he's a demon. I don't know if he knows that I know that. I do know that there was blood on my claws, and it wasn't my own this time.'

Rumi closes the journal and leaves it on her desk. That's enough writing for now.

. . .

'Day 6 - My dad'

'I don't know what I'd do without him.'

. . .

'I remember how angry she sounded. How my sword burned her hand. How the rain hit the ground and how the leaves shook from the wind. How the blood rushed in my ears. I don't remember what I said. I only remember feeling so desperate for survival that it almost didn't feel like me at all.'

'Did I want to survive that night, or did something else?'

. . .

Rumi can hear the television from her place on the bed. It's movie night, isn't it? Did the girls not want her there... or did they just give up on inviting her after she turned them down so many times?

She sighs and pulls herself to her feet, padding into the lounge and taking in the scene. It's so... domestic. Rumi knows they're dating; how could she not? The walls aren't exactly thick, but... There are certain things she avoids seeing. Like the way Mira is carding her hand through Zoey's hair like it's commonplace. The way Zoey hums contentedly and presses closer.

Rumi isn't sure where she belongs anymore. Is she still the leader? Is Huntr/x still... okay? They're on hiatus, having skipped the idol awards this year because of everything going on, but sometimes she feels like she's the only one still thinking about the Honmoon.

She could still fix herself. She could. They just need to get the golden Honmoon, and... and Rumi would be fixed. That's what Celine wants, isn't it?

Rumi doesn't realize she's crying until the girls both turn in surprise to look at her. They stand in unison, rushing to her side with words of concern falling from their lips, but Rumi just shakes her head because she can't hear them.

She doesn't need Gwi-ma's voice in her head to tear her down. Her own voice is plenty.

They somehow end up on the couch, a fact that Rumi will question later when she's not sobbing into Zoey's shoulder. Mira's hand is on her back, moving in soothing circular motions, and in that moment, Rumi feels safe.

Her friend's words pierce through the darkness, and Rumi almost starts to cry all over again when she finally hears them. Between the encouragement, the two of them share a quiet conversation full of concern for her.

Of course, they care; how could she ever think they didn't?

"Sorry," Rumi whispers, surprising herself with her voice. Mira's hand stills on her back and then moves away as Rumi carefully rights herself, her eyes scanning Zoey's expression. "Sorry, you just looked so... happy, and I didn't know..." She sniffles and considers not finishing her sentence, but Zoey is looking at her with such concern. "I didn't know if I'd ruin it by being here."

Zoey's mouth twists into a frown, and then she's reaching out, her thumb brushing against Rumi's cheek. "You don't ruin things," She says softly.

"We want you here," Mira chimes in from behind her. Rumi exhales shakily and blinks away a fresh wave of tears.

"Why?" Rumi's voice cracks. "Why do you... still want me?"

Why do you want me like this? Why haven't you already left? You know what I am, you've seen my damage, my scars, and you're still—

There's a look shared over Rumi's shoulder that she doesn't catch before Zoey responds. "Because we love you, Rumi."

She lets out a short, unbelieving laugh. "Me?" She breathes. "How?"

'I don't know if they love me back. I wouldn't blame them if they didn't. How could anyone love me like this?'

"It's like breathing," Zoey answers softly. "You don't think about it. You just do."

Rumi's eyes flutter closed as Zoey's thumb continues to brush over her cheek in careful, soothing motions.

You don't think about it. You just do.

Zoey's other hand starts to trace the patterns on her arm, stopping over scars and making sure that they receive the same care. "You're beautiful," Zoey whispers reverently.

"I'm wrong," Rumi chokes out. "Everything about me... is wrong."

Mira's arms wrap around her from behind, and Rumi tenses for a moment before relaxing into her arms. "No," Mira says, and there is no hesitance in her voice. No hidden, lingering doubt about Rumi's lineage, despite her initial outburst all those weeks ago. "You're perfect just as you are. I'm sorry we ever made you feel like that wasn't true."

They haven't had time to talk about it. Not when everything went sideways so quickly and left them floundering for something stable to hold onto. There had been brief conversations, of course, but most of them were just the same apology over and over again. The words meant a lot at the time, but there was never any time to prove it with action.

"I won't let you leave this time," Mira whispers, her voice suddenly thick with emotion. "I won't let you fight this alone."

Another sob bubbles up and out of her chest, and Rumi loses herself to it all. She doesn't know when or how, but she must pass out at some point, because when she opens her eyes, she's no longer in the living room.

The bed is warm, though, and her girls are here. Mira's arms are curled around her almost possessively, and Zoey is pressed up against her chest. Rumi carefully reaches up and brushes a stray strand of hair out of her face. She looks beautiful like this.

Is she allowed to think things like that?

..She'll ask later.

For now, she lets her eyes flutter closed, her insecurities far away in the face of the overwhelming comfort of being seen by the two people she loves most.

Even if they don't know it yet.

Chapter 19: secrets unfold

Notes:

hiii, sorry for the delay

shout-out to Medynaunt, this chapter is for you

Rumi isn't quite sure what to make of the situation she's found herself in. It almost doesn't seem real. She tries to blink it away, though, and the scene doesn't shift.

She just walked in on the aftermath of a food fight. Not just a loaf of bread this time, either; there is damage. If someone told her this was the scene of a domestic violence incident, she'd believe it. There are shattered remnants of plates on the kitchen floor, a knife lodged in the fridge, and so many ingredients tossed haphazardly that she doesn't even know what kind of meal was being prepared before chaos broke out.

The culprits of said food fight are currently in the lounge, all feeling various levels of guilt. A quick interrogation reveals that Jinu started it, of course he did, and everyone else just followed his lead. Follow the leader, or whatever.

"You couldn't have done this in your kitchen?" Rumi asks from the doorway, arms crossed like a disappointed parent. "We're gonna have to get a new fridge."

Abby rolls his eyes. "You're rich. That's hardly an inconvenience."

Min smacks him across the back of the head. "Shut up," He hisses. Abby goes to say something else, and Min grabs him by the chin and pulls him into a searing kiss. That shuts him up.

Rumi sighs and walks into the lounge, letting her arms fall to her side. "I think you guys need something to do."

"No kidding," B snarks from the corner, not even looking up from his phone. "But it's not like we can go outside. The press caught us on the cameras, and now we're stuck here."

"We can't even teleport," Jinu says dejectedly. "It's so annoying."

The elevator dings, and the boys look over. "I have good news, then!" Bobby says with a grin, holding up five lanyards.

"No way," Romance says, already halfway out of his seat. His jaw drops when he sees the photos on the lanyards. "That's why you had us take selfies?!"

Bobby holds out a lanyard to Romance. "Congratulations, Roman. You are now a Korean-American who moved here by invitation from Sunlight Entertainment."

"No fucking way!" Jinu shouts, his excitement palpable. "You're serious?!"

Bobby nods and tosses another lanyard his way. "I didn't change your name. That's too much work, and you already have a cover identity from last time you were here."

Jinu stares for a long moment before realization dawns on him. "Oh my god! I went on a date with you!"

Rumi nearly falls over in shock, choking on her spit. She smacks a hand against her chest. "I'm sorry, what?!"

"You went on a date with me and then you ghosted me," Bobby corrects. "Which hurt, by the way."

Jinu grins sheepishly. "I kind of broke the rules going on that date... Gwi-ma wasn't very happy with me."

Rumi feels like her entire world has shattered. "I think I need to lie down," She mutters, despite making no move to do so.

Bobby waves his hand like he's absolving Jinu of his sins. "I've already got enough issues with Myung. I'm not going to hold a grudge over one date."

The rest of the lanyards are passed out to the remaining Saja Boys. Well, everyone except for Min.

B becomes Bon-Hwa, and Abby, perhaps unsurprisingly, keeps his name. Jinu groans in annoyance, and Abby snickers.

Bobby stares at the final lanyard in his hand for long enough that Rumi gets concerned. "Bobby? You okay?"

Blinking out of his reverie, Bobby holds the last lanyard out to Min. "Yeah! Sorry, I just got lost in my thoughts for a moment."

"Thanks, bro," Min whispers, his voice feather-light. He walks past Bobby before he can see his reaction, but the way Bobby stiffens is telling enough. The elevator dings, and Bobby's eyes widen comically.

"Okay, well! You guys are free to do... whatever! Just don't get in legal trouble, please," Bobby says the words so quickly that half of them overlap each other, and then he's spinning on his heel. "Min! Wait up!"

Rumi blinks in confusion as Bobby sprints towards the elevator. Min's hand reaches out and holds the elevator open for long enough that Bobby can slide in. "Oh my god," Jinu snorts.

"I'm..." Rumi watches as the elevator doors close and then looks back at Jinu. "Are they a... thing?"

Jinu's eyes widen imperceptibly, and then he's laughing so hard that he's clutching his sides. "Oh my god, no! That's... that's so illegal!"

"Illegal...?" Rumi mutters under her breath. "Is Min a minor?! That's—I thought you were all of age?!"

The panic is clear on her face. Bon-Hwa cackles in the corner. "Holy shit, this is golden."

Jinu shakes his head violently. "That's his brother, Rumi!"

"O-Oh," Rumi mutters, the panic disappearing for only a moment before it comes back with a vengeance. "Wait, what?! Like... like, his actual brother? Like, the... dead one?" She looks back at the elevator like she'll find answers there. "Is that why he covers his face with his hair?"

"No, he's just weird," Abby responds casually, like Rumi's understanding of the world isn't fracturing into pieces. Rumi braces herself against the wall, her gaze on the floor but her eyes tracking back and forth like she's reading something behind her eyes.

"Jinu went on a date with my dad," Jinu chokes, and she ignores him. "And my dad has a dead brother who is a Saja who is now technically an idol-in-training," She says sagely, blinking slow enough that she could be mistaken for a cat. "I... what is my life?" She whispers. "You know what? I need my girls."

"Hah!" Roman points an accusatory finger at Rumi. "You finally admit that they are your girls!"

Rumi finally looks up and looks at Roman in confusion before her brain catches up to her words. Her face goes so impossibly red that Bon-Hwa gets concerned. "Is she okay?" He asks, peeking at her from over his phone screen.

"I–I don't—" Rumi sputters and looks away. "I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Sure you don't," Roman teases, but it's good-natured. "I get the feeling. These are my boys," He rolls his eyes and motions towards the elevator. "Even Min, who has abandoned us for a family reunion."

"Don't worry," Abby drawls slowly. "You'll get your own family reunion soon."

Rumi blinks once. Then twice, turning towards a very smug-looking Abby. Jinu smacks him across the back of the head, but the damage is already done.

"What?!" Rumi shouts, and the Honmoon reacts.

---

Hundreds of miles away, in an old sanctuary, a woman sits and reads through a stack of old, unlabeled books, the spines blank and thick layers of dust coating the pages. She pores through each book end-to-end in her attempts to understand what is happening to her.

She didn't make a deal with Gwi-ma. She didn't, so how in the Honmoon's name did she teleport? How did she end up here, hundreds of miles away from the nearest civilization? She hasn't eaten or had access to water in days, and yet she remains unaffected by the effects of starvation and dehydration.

It makes no sense.

Her eyes skim over the next page, and she's about to flip the page when something catches her eye. A small, hand-written note has fallen loose from her frantic motions, fluttering softly onto the ground. She picks it up, hesitance coloring her motion, and unfolds it slowly.

'——things have changed in the past few years. Demons are coming through the portals that claim to want to live. I would call it preposterous, but then I'm reminded of our mantra. When darkness finally meets the light. Have we been going about this all wrong? Is it possible for a demon to find redemption and reclaim their soul?'

She reaches out for the Honmoon and finds it as unresponsive as before. She'd compare this to a temper tantrum, but then, she's sure that would only make it angrier. She withdraws her hand and continues to read.

'Sun-Hi told me that she's being courted by a demon today. I did not know what to say, so I said nothing. It's not my place to judge her, not when everything I have learned is coming undone at the seams. Perhaps this will be a good thing, but only time will tell.'

The paper is old and crumbling around the edges. She knows this is from the early days of the hunter's society, but that doesn't make her any less angry. She balls up the paper in her fist and tosses it away. Demons courting humans. How ridiculous is that? She huffs an exasperated breath before closing the book in her lap, the sound echoing out like an omen.

She needs to stretch her legs.

---

Min walks down the road with Bobby at his side. Neither of them has said a word since they got into the elevator, all confidence disappearing the moment it was real. Bobby keeps stealing glances in his direction, and Min can imagine the confusion on his face.

The lanyard around his neck is unfamiliar, but not unwelcome. The pink badge attached to it, Saja Boys printed along the bottom with the logo of a tiger... well, it makes his soul feel whole in a way he hasn't in years. He raises his hand and runs his thumb across the plastic card holder absently.

The selfie used is one of him holding a peace sign up to the camera, eyes obscured behind his hair. He looks stupid. It's oddly perfect. He can imagine that the boys are having a party back at the penthouse; maybe Jinu started another food fight in his excitement. He gets like that sometimes.

Jinu likes to pretend to be the most level-headed in the group, but the truth is, they are all unhinged in slightly different ways. B—he mentally corrects himself to Bon-Hwa—is the quiet kind of chaotic. He'll pull a prank and let everyone blame each other while he stands innocently in the corner. Ro—Roman, he reminds himself—certainly lives up to his name as the lover-boy, always invading personal space and draping himself across each of them like a cat. Abby likes to pretend that he's tough, but he's Roman's number one target for affection, and Abby not-so-secretly adores it.

Apparently, Min's level of unhinged is randomly dropping that you're someone's brother in the middle of a conversation and then walking away like it was nothing important. Who would've thought?

Bobby steps in front of him and starts to guide them somewhere, heads down to avoid anyone recognizing the manager of Huntr/x. Is Bobby his manager now? Is that nepotism? Huh. He'll have to ask once they get wherever they're going.

They step inside a quaint little cafe, and Min tries to pretend that he's not shocked at how nice the place looks. He's not used to comfortable or quaint, he's used to hole-in-the-wall ramen shops and back-alley fire pits.

Still, Bobby leads him to a table and they sit down across from each other. A younger girl, maybe seventeen, comes up to take their order, and Bobby asks for water. Min asks for a black coffee.

Bobby looks at him strangely, and Min feels oddly exposed. "What?"

His younger brother purses his lips and shakes his head. "I'm just trying to wrap my head around this."

Min leans forward, arms resting against the table. "I didn't mean to tell you like this."

"You died," Bobby says, matter-of-factly. "And then... you became a demon?"

"I made a deal," Min says with a nod. "Right before I... died."

A glass of water and a cup of hot coffee are placed on the table. Bobby thanks her before turning back to Min. "What was your deal?"

"Straight to the point, huh?" Min smiles fondly. "I asked for your protection."

Bobby stills, hand loose around the glass. "...You what?"

Min takes a long sip of coffee and revels in the bitterness, leaving Bobby in suspense for only a moment. "I think I was praying more than anything. It felt strange, like two entities were reaching out at the same time. Gwi-ma got to me first, and I sent the other one..."

"To me," Bobby says at barely a whisper. "You sent the Honmoon to me."

"I didn't know until Rumi helped us cross back over," Min says softly. "I just knew you were alive. I told Jinu to check on you, and he took that to mean 'go on a date with my boyfriend's brother'," Min rolls his eyes, but it's fond. "He's ridiculous."

"Admittedly a little weird," Bobby mutters. "But not the weirdest thing to happen to me, considering I was dating a demon and didn't know."

"Yeah..." Min cringes at the reminder. "Myung needs to get his shit together."

Bobby opens his mouth, likely about to agree with the sentiment, when his eyes catch on a ripple of energy. The Honmoon. He's up and out of his seat before he knows what he's doing, Min following after him. "Bobby? Bobby, what's wrong?!"

Bobby sprints down the road, weaving through the crowd effortlessly. Min, unable to do the same, ends up having to duck into an alleyway and catch his breath. "So much for a normal conversation," He mutters, his mind spinning as he tries to figure out what could've caused Bobby to panic like this.

His eyes widen in realization, and he focuses on the image of the penthouse, disappearing in a bright red cloud of smoke.

Rumi.

Chapter 20: a father's mistakes

Notes:

hiii, this took me a second but also its a little longer than usual so there's that! hope you enjoy :)

Bobby runs into the lobby of the Huntr/x tower and completely bypasses the elevator, not seeing the looks of confusion painted on the people around him as he sprints for the stairs and goes up, up, up. His lungs are screaming by the time he makes it, each subsequent breath a wheeze, but he does not stop moving, not even for a second. Not when the Honmoon reacted, not when he felt that pain in his chest that always signaled danger.

He slams the door open, and several things happen at once. The elevator dings, for one, and the doors slide open to a panicked Mira and Zoey coming from only a few floors down. Two flashes of smoke appear in the room as Min apparates into the room at the same time as Myung.

Bobby notices none of this. All he sees is Rumi, one hand on her chest, but otherwise... uninjured? He closes the distance anyway, eyes scanning for injuries he might not be seeing, and it's only when Rumi holds him in place by the shoulders that he stops. "Dad, Dad, I'm okay!" Rumi assures, and Bobby could cry, because she's okay. He pulls her into his arms, and her eyes widen slightly in surprise before she's all but melting into the embrace.

In the back of his mind, the words she's okay, she's okay, she's okay repeat on an endless loop. It's only after she mutters something about needing to breathe that he backs away, habitually giving her a once-over before changing course entirely. "What's wrong?" Bobby asks, glancing over at the Saja Boys and startling slightly when he sees Min among them. "Did someone do something?"

"Um," Rumi starts. Bobby raises an eyebrow, and she continues. "Abby said something about how I was going to get a family reunion too, and I... don't know why, but that made me panic. Still panicking, actually, because my mom is dead which only leaves my dad, and I'm just now realizing that could be anyone in this room," Rumi glances towards the Sajas, and they all collectively shake their heads as if to say nope, not me. "Besides, I already have you," Rumi adds casually. "Why would I need to meet my biological dad? It's not like he was around."

Bobby blinks. His mouth opens and then closes like a fish out of water as the realization settles in that he hasn't heard Rumi ramble in... how long has it been? Months? She hasn’t rambled in months, and somehow the first thing she does is accidentally diss his ex-boyfriend. "Rumi, you know I love you, but please slow down."

Rumi sputters indignantly. "I'm just saying! He could be in the room right now and I definitely wouldn't care! He abandoned Mom! He abandoned me—"

"You don't know th—"

"—And if he's in the room right now, he's being a coward by not admitting it!" Bobby cringes, but he hardly has time to dwell on it when Rumi is clearly mid-spiral. "He can't just waltz back into my life like he didn't walk out of it first!"

"Rumi!" Bobby shouts, a little louder than intended. Rumi stiffens, her mouth snapping shut with an audible click. "I agree with you, okay? If he really abandoned you, he would have no right to show up one day and pretend everything is okay. I would never let it happen."

"I know you wouldn't," Rumi says quietly. "But if he didn't abandon me, that means both of my parents were taken from me, and I don't..." She trails off and shakes her head.

Bobby inhales sharply. "Rumi..."

"He saved me, you know?" Rumi says suddenly. "I was... so close to giving up, but he told Jinu to find me, and that's the only... I don't understand why he saved me. If he abandoned me, then why would he..."

"Because he loves you," Jinu chimes in. Rumi turns to look at him fully, the beginnings of tears in her eyes. She wipes them away and catches a glimpse of the bracelet on her wrist. "When he first found me, your name was brought up in almost every conversation. He was so sure you were still alive."

"Still... alive?" Rumi mutters. "What do you mean?"

Jinu purses his lips and shakes his head. "That's... not my story to tell."

Rumi's patterns flare a deep orange, her irritation clear. "If you know the answer, why won't you just tell me? It's not like he's here to stop you!"

"Honor...?" Jinu tries, laughing nervously.

Rumi frowns and crosses her arms. "You put a knife in my fridge not even an hour ago. You clearly don't have any honor, let alone morals."

"He what?!" Mira gawks, immediately heading for the kitchen. A moment later, she starts to shout, and Zoey immediately goes on damage control, also heading for the kitchen and trusting that Bobby will handle... whatever is happening here. Rumi barely acknowledges their presence beyond the beginnings of a smile from hearing their voices, but it's enough.

Jinu puts a hand on his chest. "Me? Lacking honor? How dare you!" He says with exasperation. "I'll have you know that I am the most honorable demon you'll ever have the pleasure of meeting!"

Rumi stares, clearly unimpressed. Jinu's shoulders sag, and he drops the act. "I can't tell you because he wants to tell you himself," He admits. She sighs and looks towards the other Sajas.

"Well? Do any of you want to tell me?" She looks rather pointedly at Abby. "You were all so eager to share before!"

Bobby finally looks over at Myung, standing frozen in place just out of sight. He keeps looking at each of the boys with a sense of urgency–or maybe it's panic. Bobby gives him a look and motions for him to do something, but Myung just shakes his head frantically before Rumi gives up on the Sajas and looks at Bobby. "What are you—" She follows his gaze and stops when she sees Myung hiding in the shadows. "Myung? What are you doing over there?"

Myung disappears in a cloud of smoke—or rather, he tries to disappear in a cloud of smoke. Bobby appears beside him and grabs his arm before he can. "You are not pulling another disappearance act," Bobby all but growls, dragging him out of the shadows like a petulant child. "She deserves answers, don't you think?"

Rumi's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What are you..." Her voice trails off as she watches the two of them bicker back and forth, Bobby holding his arm with a vice-grip and Myung attempting to pull out of his hold without much luck. "...doing?"

She watches, frankly bewildered, as Myung and Bobby whisper and grow increasingly closer to each other. It gets to the point that they're close enough that she wonders if they're even fighting anymore.

"Are you guys fighting, or is it just foreplay at this point?" Abby snorts, causing both men to freeze. Rumi sputters and looks away, the sheer idea causing her distress. Enough distress that the Honmoon reacts again, this time in a dark green that matches her patterns.

Mira and Zoey rush back into the room to Rumi, staring at her arms, the dark green shifting into a yellow, and then blue, and then bright, bright red. It stays there for a long time, Rumi trembling as the two men disentangle themselves and look at her with concern. "Rumi? Rumi, hey, what's wrong?" Mira asks, slowly approaching.

"Am I—" Rumi swallows and lets out a shaky breath. "Am I hurting the Honmoon? I—Celine said that I took it from her. What am I doing to the Honmoon?"

Everybody in the room tenses at the name-drop. Rumi hasn't said her name since the day she came back through that portal, hasn't so much as brought up what happened that night before Bobby got there. There had been a picture painted in bruises and blood across Rumi's skin that night, but nothing to prove that Celine was the one to paint it. Not that anyone needed proof; Bobby told them what he'd seen.

"Get the hell AWAY FROM HER!"

Lightning strikes and, bathed in light, the scene shifts. Bobby launches off the tiger before it ever touches the ground, his legs moving before his mind can catch up to the fact that his body is unprepared for the sudden escalation. Surprisingly, though, his body does not give out. In fact, it almost feels as though a sudden surge of energy curls up through his arms, his legs, and his spine, cushioning him and allowing him to rush forward when he hits the ground.

Celine turns to look at him, but before she does, he gets the full picture. He sees the way she has the Saingeom poised at Rumi's neck like she was a second from decapitating her. His girl, his beautiful daughter, is drenched from the rain and blood in so many places that he can't possibly discern where the injuries are. Rage takes over as Celine turns to look at him, her gaze suddenly impassive. He closes the distance, and it's with pure satisfaction that he reels back his fist and punches her in the nose. He's never punched anyone before, never even wanted to, but the way his hand moved spoke of knowledge he didn't think he had. She stumbles back in surprise, and Bobby takes the time to glance down at Rumi again. Rumi, who is still staring at the ground, seems unaware of what's happening around her. Rumi, with blood pouring down her face and into her eyes from what must be a head wound.

The Nangseon comes to him naturally, then. It is only later that he will question how he pulled a weapon out of thin air. It is only later that he will question Celine's words, because his only priority in the moment is Rumi. His Rumi, his girl, his daughter. Not Celine's. Never her daughter. Celine didn't spend hours patching Rumi up after back-alley brawls with demons went awry. She didn't help her through panic attacks or teach her first aid. She certainly didn't spend time watching Rumi's favorite rom-coms, and she certainly didn't hear the whispered admissions that sometimes Rumi wished she could have a life as simple as her favorite characters. No, Celine never did any of those things, because she knew Rumi would just come to him.

Myung recounted the other half of the story. The parts that Bobby didn't see. The way that Celine teleported away the moment that Bobby stopped looking at her, and the way that Myung lost control of his anger and chased after her, because how dare she complain about Rumi being a demon when she very clearly made a deal with Gwi-ma?

Celine never came to the door of the estate, and Myung admits that she may not have ever been there. That is why Bobby found him there. The sheer terror and desperation had caused their connection to drag Bobby into frame, willingly or otherwise. That's why Bobby left Rumi in the girl's arms and ran off without a second thought, that is why he doesn't remember half of what happened that night.

Bobby may have been protected by the Honmoon before that night in the rain, but he truly became its protector when he rushed into the rain with his fist poised and the thought 'I will kill this woman to protect Rumi' repeating over and over again like a mantra. Bobby, a pacifist by nature, willing to kill? Well, the Honmoon can't deny him that, and besides, it needed a reason to get rid of a hunter whose hypocrisy could very well be the end of her.

"No, Jagiya," The term of endearment jolts Rumi back to reality, her patterns slowly shifting from red to a hesitant orange. "You're not hurting the Honmoon."

"H-How do you know?" Rumi asks, reaching out to hold Mira's offered hands. Anything to ground her to the moment.

"I just do," Mira shrugs, entwining their fingers together and holding their hands up. "There are six demons in the room who would tell us if the Honmoon was being damaged."

"I think your patterns are linked to the Honmoon!" Zoey adds, a little more cheerfully than anyone expected. Rumi turns to look at her, and Zoey smiles sheepishly. "Uhm. It's just a theory, but you know, since you're a hunter, and the Honmoon chose you, it stands to reason that it knew about your patterns, right? It knew you were a half-demon, and it still chose you. Why would it choose someone that could hurt it?"

"Because of my mother..?" Rumi tips her head in confusion. "I always thought it was a... legacy thing."

"I don't have any relatives who were hunters," Mira reminds her. Rumi's eyes widen a little, and she whispers a soft 'oh'.

"I do," Zoey admits nervously, gaze momentarily averted. "But that's not important! What's important is that you're not hurting the Honmoon, Rumi! I think it just understands your emotions better now, and so it's reacting when you're sad, or anxious, or panicking, because it knows we'll see it!"

"So I'm not hurting the Honmoon...?" Rumi mutters, tentatively letting go of Mira's hands and reaching for the Honmoon. Everyone holds their breath as she carefully places her hand around the hilt of her Saingeom and pauses. She lets it fall back into the Honmoon before it fully forms, and the room takes a collective deep breath. She looks around at everyone in confusion. "What?"

"You haven't summoned your sword since..." Mira doesn't finish her sentence, but Rumi flinches anyway.

"Oh," Rumi says, a little light-headed. "That makes sense. I guess I just haven't... needed it," She glances over at the demons sitting on her couch, and then at the demon standing beside Bobby, and then at her own arms again. "Isn't it weird that there haven't been any new tears in the Honmoon?"

"That's because I've been dealing with them," Rumi startles and looks over at Myung.

"What does that mean?" Rumi asks in the same breath that Bobby does.

Myung shrugs. "I used to... I have an innate understanding of how a tear is formed. I was studying it to help the boys get out, which means I tend to notice it before a hunter would."

"Gods, you're just like Rumi," Bobby mutters, pinching his nose in annoyance. "Did I tell you she was running around at fifteen, fighting off demons? Alone?"

Rumi laughs nervously but says nothing. Mira and Zoey both look at her with concern, and she pointedly avoids their gazes.

"She was what?" Myung growls. Rumi feels a deeply primal urge to hide. "That woman didn't give a damn, did she?" Bobby frowns and shakes his head. Myung grumbles something under his breath.

Rumi's urge to hide is overshadowed by a sudden annoyance. "No offense, but why do you care?" Myung flinches, and even Bobby winces. "What? Listen, I'm glad that my dad has friends or whatever, but you keep talking like I'm your responsibility, and it's making me uncomfortable. I don't even know you."

Myung rubs the back of his head nervously. "Well... you certainly have your mother's attitude."

Rumi's gaze darkens. "What does that mean?"

"That's not a bad thing!" Myung shouts, attempting immediate damage control. "I'm... honestly, Rumi, I'm not sure how to do any of this. I never planned to have children, and—and honestly? I thought I was gay until I met your mother, and well, I kind of screwed that up too, so I guess I just don't want to mess this up, but you've already got your own ideas about me, and I just—"

"Stop," Rumi growls.

The room falls silent.

"Stop," Rumi repeats, softer this time. "Stop talking," Her voice cracks, and she closes her eyes in frustration. When she opens them again, her eyes have taken on their demonic hue. "I'm so stupid," She mutters, and several people go to tell her she's wrong, but she's not done talking yet. "How did I not realize? You kept accidentally responding when I said Appa. You ramble like me. Or I ramble like you? Is rambling a genetic trait? Oh gods, I can't believe you gave me the fucking rambling gene out of all things—"

Bobby recognizes the spiral before anyone else, but honestly? This isn't his job right now.

"Rumi—"

"—And honestly, I've got a few other things to complain about, but first, will you stop being a coward and just say it? Say you're my father, since you decided everyone else in the room needed to know before me. I guess I got that from you, too. The constant deflections. The lying."

Myung's shoulders drop. "I'm sorry, Rumi. I really am. I was... scared."

"You were scared?" Rumi growls, more literally this time. Mira and Zoey blink before looking at each other. "You were scared? Celine used to tell me horror stories about you to stop me from seeking you out. Is any of it true? Did you kill my mother? Did you try to kill Celine? Was your love all a ploy to get close enough to kill them?"

Myung shakes his head, desperation in his eyes. "Absolutely not! I—I swear I loved her. I loved her as much as I loved—" His voice cracks, and he looks over at Bobby, who shrugs and looks away. "I loved her as much as I love you," Myung says, turning back to Rumi. "I held you in my arms right up until Celine stole you from me, and I told myself you were alive for the many years I was trapped in the underworld. You were my reason for trying to escape. Not the boys, not some misguided need for redemption. It was always you, Rumi. It has always been you."

"I thought you'd try to kill me if we ever met," Rumi admits in a low whisper. Everyone hears it. "I'd accepted it. It wasn't until I... until I was in the underworld that I realized I might be wrong."

"I would never try to hurt you," Myung assures her, and the conviction in his voice is enough to bring him to tears. "I will tell you that every day if it helps. I will never try to hurt you."

Rumi laughs brokenly, wiping away a stray tear with her sleeve. "Who said I want you here?"

"Rumi..." It's Bobby who speaks up this time. Rumi simply shakes her head.

"I need... I need to think," Rumi mutters, closing her eyes. "I'll be back."

"Rumi, wai—"

Mira lunges forward and stumbles through the cloud of smoke where Rumi once stood. Zoey inhales softly. "She hasn't left the penthouse in weeks..." Zoey whispers.

Bobby runs a hand through his hair and takes a deep breath, his eyes slipping closed. "That was a disaster, and that's a high bar. I work in public relations."

Mira and Zoey don't even have the wherewithal to be offended. "She always runs," Mira says, having recovered from her near-fall. "Rumi isn't... she's not going to do anything, right?"

"Maybe I should try to find her," Myung says, already following their connection.

"No," Bobby says, turning to Myung. "She needs time to think, and she isn't going to get that here with everyone hovering. We need to give her space."

"The last time we gave her space, Celine nearly killed her," Mira snaps, bitterness in her tone.

Bobby swallows. "I know. I never should've let her leave. That’s my fault."

"What?" Zoey asks, genuine confusion. "No, Bobby. Nobody is blaming you for that. Celine was her guardian; of course you'd let her leave."

Bobby shakes his head. "I knew what Celine was like. I knew how hard she was on Celine. You know, she'd lose control of a new demonic feature, and Celine would just tell her to come right to me? She wouldn't even look at Rumi until she figured out how to hide them."

"New plan," Myung growls. "While she gets some air, I'm going to go find Celine and kill her."

"I want in on this plan," Mira chimes in. Zoey nods in assent.

"I should've killed her that night," Bobby mutters darkly. "I don't know where she went. She hasn't been seen in weeks."

"We'll find her," Jinu offers, and the other boys look at each other before shrugging. "Now that we've got access to the city, we can start scouring the city for any hint of where she might be."

"I don't think she's in the city," Bobby admits. "But it would be good for you to get your faces out there. You five need to start planning for your debut."

Zoey hums and pulls out her phone, sending a series of rapid-fire texts to Mira, whose phone buzzes in her pocket. Mira raises an eyebrow and pulls her phone out, reading the text messages. Her eyes widen slightly. "You think?" Mira asks, and Zoey nods. "Also, why are you texting this to me?"

"Uh. Demons in the room?" Zoey offers.

"Good demons, Zoey," Mira responds with exasperation. "What are they going to do with the sanctuary location?"

"The sanctuary?" Bobby echoes. "I don't think there's anything in the property records about a sanctuary."

"That's because it's not a company property," Zoey answers.

"Tell me where," Myung all but demands. Mira and Zoey both shake their heads in tandem. "Why not?!"

"You might be good demons, but there's also a knife in my fridge that tells me you don't care about property damage. The sanctuary is sacred, and besides, you don't want to ruin Rumi's favorite place, do you?" Mira says, watching as Myung's anger fizzles out. "That's what I thought. Zoey and I will go see if she's there, and if she is, we'll let you know. How about that?"

"Aren't you forgetting the part where she almost killed Rumi?" Bobby says. "What if she tries to kill you?"

Mira reaches out, and her Gok-do forms in her hand. "Then we'll deal with it."

"Uhm. Mira?" Mira turns to look at Zoey, and she smiles a little nervously. "I hate to be that person, but... Rumi would be mad at us if we went alone."

Mira makes a conflicted noise and lets her Gok-do fade back into the Honmoon. "Fuck. We keep making decisions for her."

"Yeah," Zoey says softly. "What if she doesn't want Celine to die? What if she wants her to... I don't know, what if she wants legal justice or something?"

"She won't want us to do anything," Bobby says with a defeated sigh. "She'll say that Celine wasn't thinking clearly and try to make excuses."

Myung groans. "She sounds just like her mother."

"That's stupid," Mira snarls. "Celine might not have tried to kill her until now, but we all remember what happened on that street. Rumi wanted to die long before Celine decided to give it to her."

"What are you talking about?" Myung asks, his voice tense. "What do you mean she wanted to die? What happened?"

Mira tenses, and it's in this moment that the three of them realize that they've never recounted what happened that night. "It was my fault," Mira starts, but Zoey cuts her off.

"Absolutely not!" Zoey snaps. "I'm the one who went snooping through her room, Mira. It was my fault."

"I raised my weapon at her!" Mira snaps back, and the tension rises with every word. "There are still claw marks in the door because she ran away from me!"

Zoey shakes her head and doubles down. "I stabbed her, Mira. She can't even look at my weapons anymore without flinching."

"Enough!" Bobby shouts, and the Honmoon reacts. A shimmering golden wave that flows through the barrier. This is your protector, it says without words. Listen to him.

Both girls fall silent. The silence permeates for a few long seconds before Bobby sighs softly. "You're both responsible. You have apologized, and she has accepted your apology. Are you really doing her any good by rehashing this now? Do you think she'd want to stand here and watch you go at each other's throats over this?"

"No," The girls mutter dejectedly.

"Then stop," Bobby says softly, the subtle command in his voice dissipating like it was never there. "Go get something to eat and drink, sit down, and relax. She doesn't need to come back to another problem that needs to be solved."

The two nod and disappear back into the kitchen. Mira shouts about the knife in the fridge again and then... silence.

"Okay, I was trying to find a way to be an asshole again, but you're kind of good at this whole parenting thing," Abby admits. Bobby glares at him, and he grins. "What? It's the truth. I'm pretty sure you're a better dad than any of us ever knew."

Min chokes on air. "Certainly... better than our dad."

Bobby throws his hands up in exasperation. "I'm ordering food because there's no way Mira isn't about to burn the kitchen down. Someone get the fold-out tables we ordered."

Jinu jumps at the opportunity, and the rest of the Saja's follow like it's their life's mission, leaving Myung and Bobby in the room alone.

"This is what happens when you don't tell the truth to the people you love," Bobby says bitterly, his back turned to Myung. "People get hurt."

Bobby disappears into the kitchen, and Myung stands there, defeated, for a solid three minutes before muttering a response under his breath.

"Yeah. I know."

Notes:

hi again, how are we feeling? (personally, my current status is: 1K KUDOS??? THANK YOU SO MUCH????)

a little authors update because I'm feeling generous: I'm okay! no writers block here, actually quite the opposite. I just have too many ideas?

I've got a college AU, a forgotten AU, I'm still working on Rumi's fic for the Legacy series (my bias is showing there, I have almost 9k words so far).

I'm still working on suffocating & confined and to be loved is to be seen (and i have never let myself be seen), although the writing on the latter is quite slow. I've got the ideas, they just aren't translating to the words right now lol

I really appreciate the support on all of my works, and I hope that you continue to enjoy them :) It feels great to see you guys so invested in my silly stories. Hope you all have a great day/night!!!!