Chapter Text
[The sound of a tape recorder starting is heard]
GFS: Ok, the tape recorder seems to be working, that’s good. The current date is October 22nd of 2011 and the time is 12 AM. I’m Gordon Fritz Sheldon from the Daily Bugle and today I'll be interviewing one of the many immortals living on this planet.
‘JB’: Greetings, Mr. Sheldon. Quite an honor to be interviewed, not going to lie. I suppose you have many questions for me & my interesting life, yes?
GFS: Guess you could say so, I'm really curious to know more. So, John Barker was it? It’s one of your current names that you’re holding right now, correct?
‘JB’: Yes, It’s one of many that I’ve gone by as time passes for me.
GFS: May I ask what other names have you also gone by before choosing your current one?
[Silence fills in the room.]
GFS: Mr. Barker? Are you, uh, okay?
‘JB’: Hm? Oh yes, I'm fine, just trying to remember the names I had over the years. From the top of my mind there's Harry Ellis, Steve Fetcher, George Katz, Jeff Leon, and a few more that I can think of off the top of my head.
GFS: And as for the other names?
‘JB’: Well when you have a head full of memories of past experiences throughout history it can be quite hard to remember every single one of them and I do tend to forget most of them.
GFS: Must be hard to track them all I assume.
‘JB’: Oh indeed, I'm like a forgetful old man trying to remember something.
[The two laughed lightly]
GFS: Anyways, what era were you born in and when exactly did you become immortal?
‘JB’: The Bedrock Era, a time where cavemen like me and dinosaurs lived mostly in harmony, though I do recall some conflicts amongst them, and as for when I became immortal, well if I can recall correctly, it was when I hid out in a cave while fleeing from my civilization’s destruction from that ungodly beast and saw a faint glow in the distance. When I walked over there I discovered it was a pool of a glowing liquid of some kind.
GFS: Are you referring to one of the so-called ‘lazarus pits’ that people used for immortality years ago?
‘JB’: I believed that’s what it was, yes, and when I bathed in it, I felt…calm, relaxed even. It almost feels like I was being born again as a new person. That’s how I would describe the experience.
GFS: Following this, did you manage to survive and adapt to the new eras following your acquisition of immortality?
‘JB’: Ohohoho, don’t be silly, of course I did! It wasn’t so easy at first, having to survive the aftermath of a destroyed society while trying to bear the icy, cold weather of the Ice Age & settling into the city of Atlantis during the Thurian Age before it eventually fell. Then came the Hyborian Era, a time where magic was at its peak and tales of sword & sorcery came alive during that period.
GFS: Speaking of that era, did you by any chance encounter Conan in that era or any other notable people as well?
‘JB’: Disappointingly, no, but as for Conan? While not really much of an encounter I did see him in one of his many battles while I watched in awe. Other than that, I mostly heard stories about the barbarian himself. I would've loved to meet him.
GFS: Sure you would’ve, he’s a real interesting guy during his lifetime. Besides him, have you actually met any other notable figures in your lifetime?
‘JB’: On the top of my head there’s Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins, Pharaoh Tut, Moses, Brian Cohen, King Arturus, Merlin, and a few others I've met in my lifetime. These encounters were either unexpected or accidental to me. I didn’t intend on meeting these people, but they were more or less interesting fellows to be with.
GFS: Not a whole lot of important figures I assume?
[John chuckles a bit]
‘JB’: I’m not like Orlando or any other immortal who just so happened to meet every historical figure throughout their livelihoods. No offense to any of them, I'm just someone who’s trying to get by in this world.
GFS: I suppose some of the other immortals got disappointed when they found out you haven’t met every historical figure, yeah?
‘JB’: Indeed. I only learned more about them through either conversations, books, or even news about them. It gives them an idea of who they are to me at least.
GFS: I see that. Anyways, since you happened to mention Bilbo & Frodo, who are part of a non-human race known as Hobbits, did you also happen to have encounters with non-humans in your lifetime? Talking about elves, dwarfs, orcs, vampires, goblins, that sort of stuff.
‘JB’: I did. I met all kinds of non-humans throughout my livelihood, from the most friendly to the..not-so-friendly.
GFS: Any notable encounters with them?
‘JB’: I met with one of the Tribes of the Moon, quite nice people if I do say so myself and that encounter led me to meet with the other tribes as well and learned more about them. Did you know that the god they worship is a demon?
GFS: Wait, really? Get out of here are you kidding me?
‘JB’: Not kidding around Mr. Sheldon.
GFS: Which demon was it?
‘JB’: Baphomet if you’re curious.
GFS: The same one worshipped by the Templars?
‘JB’: Yes, though I do have to correct you that it was the Knights of the Apocalypse that worshiped them, not the entire Templar.
GFS: Huh, the more you know everyday.
‘JB’: Indeed.
GFS: Anyways, right around the time when humanity became more aggressive with the tribes, straining their relationship further, did you happen to side with them and protect them as much as you could before being driven underground? Did you also happen to have a few human allies in there as well that also sided with the tribes before presumably dying?
[Silence fills in the room once more]
GFS: Uh, Barker? You okay? Do need some, uh, time to think-
‘JB’: Can we not dwell on the topic any further? I’m already having bad memories thinking about it.
GFS: Shit, i’m sorry, I-I didn’t know it was traumatic to you-
‘JB’: It’s fine, you- …you didn’t know.
GFS: Right, my bad Barker.
‘JB’: Can we go to the next topic please?
GFS: I will, I will, no worries. Did you learn how to defend yourself through various weapons throughout your history?
‘JB’: Yes I did. From weapon marksmanship to swordsmanship, I've learned how to use them through either experts who know how to handle these before or through self-learning.
GFS: On the latter, was it hard at first when you had to learn these by yourself?
‘JB’: It was, yes, but I managed to learn how to use them all by myself.
GFS: What about magic? You probably must’ve learned about it as well.
‘JB’: I only learned fire & ice magic. Disappointingly I didn’t have the time to learn about the other types of magics, but I think what I have is enough for me.
GFS: That’s cool. Moving on to the present day, do you think Earth is heading towards the right direction as the planet begins to heal itself following the aftermath of the Blazing Invasion in the previous year?
‘JB’: I think so, yes. Even after what the planet has been through following that event, they’ve managed to get back up on their feet with the help of both the supernatural communities and the metahuman communities. Both of them really helped humanity out both during & after the Blazing Invasion, plus they’re slowly repairing their relationship with the once-hidden communities as they fix the planet back up. So I'd say that’s a good sign.
GFS: What about the concerns regarding the future of this world? Questions have been raised regarding the possibility of new threats taking advantage of the current situation in the wake of Blazing Invasion, that & the rise of hate groups targeted towards those they deem as ‘inferior’ to them. There are also questions raised about the possibility of people being too reliant on superheroes as well as war slowly becoming a profitable business. Do you think these concerns are valid in some way?
‘JB’: I’d say yes regarding those concerns, but I do hope they can take care of these problems plaguing this world whether it be setting up new laws or taking action against hate groups and terrorists.
GFS: Oh, and, uh, on another note. Did you happen to meet with one of the Tribes of the Moon again?
‘JB’: Yes. Yes I did. It was like meeting with an old friend again after so many years.
[‘John’ softly cries]
GFS: Oh my god are you okay-
‘JB’: Y-yes, i’m fine, n-no worries. I just- …finally met them again after my last encounter.
GFS: Tearful reunion I suppose?
‘JB’: It was. I was just so happy that I got to meet with the Tribes after many years…
GFS: Glad to hear, glad to hear. Oh, and before we close out on our interview, do you have anything else to say?
‘JB’: Cliche as it sounds, but live your life to the fullest no matter what obstacles get in your way. It’s been said before yes, but it still rings true.
GFS: I think the same could be said for any other quotes considered life-changing or inspirational.
‘JB’: True, very much so. I’m glad that we had this interview with you. I hope we can meet each other again.
GFS: You’re welcome man, and yeah I do hope to see you again sometime soon.
‘JB’: I hope so.
[Barker gets up and footsteps are heard as he goes towards the door before stopping]
‘JB’: By the way, your name..almost reminds me of a certain journalist I knew once.
GFS: Who? Phil Sheldon? Heh, yeah. My mom named me after the reporter himself since she was a journalist herself and he was a huge inspiration to her. She happens to own a copy of his book. We used to take turns reading it when I was a teenager until I got my own copy of Marvels later in my life.
‘JB’: That’s good to hear. I think he would’ve been delighted to hear that. He was a friendly fellow when I met him.
[‘John’ then opens the apartment door and exits it leaving Gordon alone in his room]
GFS: Oh, is this still on? Let me just go ahead and-
[The clicking of a tape recorder is heard as it begins to turn off]
“Life is infinitely stranger than anything the mind of man could invent.” -Arthur Conan Doyle
Chapter 2: References
Chapter Text
Daily Bugle - Fictional tabloid newspaper from Marvel Comics.
The Bedrock Era - Refers to the era established by masteroftheuniverse on the An Extraordinary Worldbuilding thread. Named after the town from the Flintstones cartoon.
Ungodly beast - Refers to King Ghidorah, the Kaiju that destroyed the civilizations during that era.
pool of a glowing liquid of some kind - Lazarus Pit from DC Comics.
Atlantis - The doomed island nation from Plato's Timaeus & Critias where it has been used in several works of fiction since.
Thurian Era & Hyborian Era - Fictional historical era from Robert E. Howard's works.
Conan - The barbarian hero from Robert E. Howard's Conan stories.
Bilbo Baggins, Frodo Baggins - Two characters from Tolkien's Middle-Earth setting.
Pharoah Tut - Refers to Tutankhensetamun from the Tutenstein cartoon. Serves as this world's Tut here.
Moses - The biblical version of him seen in the Bible.
Brian Cohen - The main character who is mistaken to be the messiah in Life of Brian.
King Arturus - The legendary monarch from Arthurian mythology. While he is mostly known as King Arthur, his real name is that of Arturus whose name came from Arturus from World of Darkness, who may have inspired the myths surrounding King Arthur in that universe.
Merlin - Another character from Arthurian mythology. Serves as this universe's version of Ambrosius Aurelianus and is the one & the same with Myrddin Wyltt here.
Orlando - The immortal from Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic book series.
Hobbits - Fictional race from Tolkien's Middle-Earth works.
Tribes of the Moon - Various groups of monsters from Clive Barker's Cabal & Nightbreed.
Baphomet - A figure that appeared in traditions related to the occult & esotercism and would be depicted as a demon in pop culture.
Knights of the Apocalypse - Splinter group of the Templar Knights from Robin of Sherwood: The Knights of the Apocalypse. They are fused with the renegade Templars from the John Sinclair novels here.
Blazing Invasion - The event shown in Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Tempest and the one that fully broke down the masquerade here.
Phil Sheldon - The journalist character from Marvels.
Marvels - Phil Sheldon's book from Marvels.