Chapter Text
Anna
She can't fall asleep from all the anxiety she's feeling, she had also tried so hard to sleep last night but couldn't. Luke came inside her room in the morning to bring her breakfast and informed her that he was able to call Steve last night. And for the first time since they got here, she started having hope. She knows he had told her not to expect anything of him, but a part of her knew he was going to do it. If he had already risked it to sedate her in front of everyone during the third phase, then he would have done this. She just doesn't understand what the hell he's doing with Hydra.
She has no idea what will happen after they take Bucky. If they do it without his consent—which will definitely be the case—he won't just be angry, he will be enraged and furious, but all of that can be resolved later on. What can't be resolved is Bucky getting tortured again, or killing someone one more time. He won't be able to get back from that, she already thinks there are lots of things he won't be able to recover or come back from.
But Anna isn't stupid, she knows that if Hydra killed her, Bucky might not be able to get back from that either. The guilt would eat him alive, and she knows he is already feeling guilty for everything that happened. But the likelihood of Hydra killing her immediately afterwards is very low. The possibility of them hurting her or torturing her to bring Bucky back is what's likely to happen, and she is fine with that happening, just as long as he isn't here.
After what Bucky had gone through, she doesn't think anything would hurt her more than what she had already witnessed.
But she also knows that Steve and Sam will probably plan something to get her out, she doesn't know how long that will take, but she hopes that at least for now, all their priority will be fixed on getting Bucky away from Hydra and keeping him under control.
Her thoughts stop when Luke enters the room. It's an unusual time for him, because he already brought her breakfast a few hours ago, and she has come to recognize the general timings of his visits by now, even without a watch or clock, but she has a rough estimate of the time in between each one. Her heart jumps in her chest when she sees him, hoping he might have an update.
"Please tell me they took him," she desperately says.
He has a bottle of water and a small paper cup in his hand. "Take this first," he tells her, handing her the paper cup. "They are watching the security camera to make sure you take it. It's for the fever you had."
She looks inside the cup and finds a pill. "But I am better now. I don't have a fever.".
"Just take it, Anna. You have been extremely tired lately, I guess it will help with all the exhaustion."
She doesn't comment on how stupid and absurd he sounds in light of everything happening and swallows it with the bottle of water he hands her. "So?" she asks.
"I don't have any updates," he replies. "I think he's still at his therapist. If I know anything, I will let you know, if I can."
She sighs. "Okay."
When Luke leaves, she gets up and starts walking around the room. The nervousness she is feeling in her stomach won't let her sit still any longer. She needs to hear that Bucky escaped. She needs to know that he's not coming back here. And maybe then, finally, her heart will stop aching.
After a little while, a wave of lightheadedness hits her, forcing her to stop pacing. She is not able to keep walking anymore and has to sit down, so she sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for the room to stop feeling like it's spinning. She rests her elbows on her knees and covers her face with her hands, hoping it will pass quickly.
But it gets worse, and she is not even able to keep sitting. She lies on her back, still on the bed, unable to get to the floor. Then she hears the door opening, but she is not able to see who it is.
"Anna?" she hears Luke asking.
"Y-yes," she replies. She wants to ask him if he has an update but she is not sure if he is alone. "Sorry, I can't open my eyes. I am so dizzy, I think my blood pressure is low."
She hears his footsteps getting closer to the bed, so she fights the dizziness and opens her eyes, and finds that it's only him. "Did you know anything?"
But Luke looks sad for some reason, almost guilty. "I am sorry, Anna," he tells her. "They couldn't take him."
The despair she feels at this moment is worse than anything she has felt these last couple of days. She shuts her eyes, unable to keep them open because the room keeps swaying. "Why?"
"I didn't know this was going to happen," he says, his voice low. "I am so sorry."
"What...are you—you talking about?" she asks, forcing each word out.
He doesn't reply, and she is not able to open her eyes to see if he's still there. "Luke?" she asks.
She tries to get up from the bed but he forces her to stay back. "What—what is..." she tries to ask, but the words slip from her mouth, and then everything turns black.
—
Steve
Bucky is crying, shaking, and trembling in Steve's arms. And all he can think about right now is how he had known Bucky since they were children, and how Bucky had only cried in Steve's arms once.
It was the first time he stayed over with him when he got back from Wakanda. His very first day back, and it was the first time Steve saw Bucky having a nightmare. He remembers how horrifying it had felt. He had stayed frozen for a while, his mind unable to comprehend that the person who was letting out guttural, heart-wrenching screams in his sleep was actually Bucky. His Bucky. His best friend.
It was one thing to see the reports and know what happened to him, and it was another to see the aftermath of it all, to know how it changed him, to see his best friend, who had been full of life, become someone almost unrecognizable from the weight of everything he went through.
And he had gone through this shock at the beginning of course, when they first found out that Bucky was the Winter Soldier and when he knew Bucky was alive, but this was different. Shuri had told him that he has horrible nightmares. He had known. But to see it, to hear the sounds coming out of him, was something else entirely. He had almost felt like maybe he was dreaming as well, like it was a nightmare of his. A nightmare where his heart would just keep breaking and breaking, where his mind would keep repeating: This is Bucky. This is Bucky. This is Bucky. Even if it made no sense, even if it was against all versions of Bucky he had seen in his lifetime.
Steve couldn't wake Bucky up that day. He couldn't do anything until Bucky woke up on his own. When the gasps tore through his heavy breathing, Steve had finally moved, hurrying over to him.
"Hey, Buck," he quietly said, his voice shaking as well, barely able to hold his tears. He gently placed his arm on his shoulder.
But Bucky couldn't even recognize him. He looked at him in horror, pushed his arm away, and kept pushing himself back against the wall, looking around Steve's apartment, unable to recognize his surroundings. Steve held him by his shoulders firmly, and Bucky's gaze turned to him, still terrified. "Bucky, it's Steve," he said. "I am Steve, buddy. You are safe, I promise."
Bucky's breath hitched in his throat. "S-steve?" he asked, confused, his voice was hollowed out by the hoarseness from his screaming.
"Yes."
He placed his hands on Steve's arms, like he was making sure he was real. "Steve," he said, his voice shocked.
"It's me, pal. It's me," he told him, almost whispering the words. "It's okay. You are okay."
"Oh, God. Steve," this time, he said it with relief. Relief that tore Steve from the inside. Relief he knew Bucky had been waiting to feel for so long. "Steve," he choked, before breaking into sobs in Steve's arms.
Steve remembers how he had broken down, how he held Bucky through it, and how he cried along with him. Because sometimes, Steve felt like he was equally responsible as Hydra, although he knows that there was no way to know that Bucky would survive the fall, because he couldn't have known that Hydra's experiments on him had succeeded and Bucky never said anything, but he also knew that Bucky, for the longest time, had hoped that Steve would get him out of there.
Bucky never cried like this with Steve again, even if he had worse nightmares and panic attacks. He would usually distance himself and deal with it on his own. So right now, Steve knows in his heart that something awful has happened. Bucky never would have broken down like this unless he really couldn't bear it anymore, and he knows that Bucky has been trying to keep it under control ever since they saw him.
They also probably stressed him out badly while trying to convince him to come with them and by not allowing him to leave, but what can he possibly do? He is terrified of making the same mistakes again, of letting Bucky go like he did before, and the outcome of what that would be.
So as he sits holding Bucky while he breaks down, he knows he really can't let him go. They did something to him, he just has no damn idea what it is, and it seems like Bucky isn't going to tell them anything at the moment.
"I am sorry, Bucky," he tells him, because he has nothing else to say. "I am so sorry."
He looks at Sam, who is now sitting opposite to them, looking terrified. And the glance they silently exchange acknowledges that something horrible happened, that they can't let him leave, even if they have to use the sedative. He doesn't even know for how long that sedative would work, but according to Tony, it may only last for ten minutes.
He will hate them, but it's better to hate them than leave him to Hydra.
He pulls himself away from Steve and tries to calm down. When he's finally able to talk without crying, he tells them that he will go, and that they have to let him leave.
“Bucky—“ he starts, but his phone rings right when he is about to try and convince him one last time. "One second," he tells him.
He immediately feels nervous when he finds that the person who is calling is the one who gave him the call yesterday about Bucky. "Yes?" he answers.
"Listen to me, I don't have much time, but I—I think you have to let Barnes come back. You shouldn't take him," he anxiously says. "They are doing something to her, some operation. I still don't understand what's happening, but that was their plan all along. There's a doctor from Syberia who came here to do whatever it is they are going to do."
Steve's heart almost stops. "What?!"
"I think whatever they will do will allow them to control her—or him...through her, when she leaves. They will let her go after those two weeks, I am sure of it. But they will have control—"
"What do you mean—"
"I said I don't have time," he says, his voice tense. "Don't ask me how, I still don't understand. They are operating on her at the moment. If you had a plan to attack the base and get her out, which I think you must have planned, then you are not going to be able to take her. Do you understand?"
"Fine. Fine," Steve nervously says. The man hangs up the phone, and Steve sits there, feeling shocked and frightened from what he just heard.
"What is it?” Bucky asks, looking nervous.
Steve looks at Bucky and feels immense grief and sadness. He's going to let his best friend go again. How is he going to live with himself after this? How does he keep failing in protecting the one person who means the world to him— the person who has truly been through enough and doesn't deserve this to happen to him?
Bucky is still looking at him, waiting for an answer, and he can't let him know about what he just learned. If Bucky knew, he wouldn't be able to control himself or his anger, and they would know that there's someone from the inside they have been in contact with. It crushes Steve to just think about it, but he knows Bucky has to be shocked in front of them when he learns about what happened. He can't tell him anything.
So Steve tries to hold back his tears and tells Bucky the one thing he never thought he would say today.
“Go, Bucky.”
—
Sam
Sam knows from the look on Steve's face that he just learned something terrible. He watches Bucky walking out of the room and stays frozen in his place, unable to stop him or do anything. They are letting him go again. How the fuck are they letting him go again?
He swallows the knot in his throat. "What happened, Steve?" he asks, his voice unsteady from all the nervousness. "Who called?"
Steve drops back to the floor, looking like he is on the verge of crying. "Something horrible is happening," he replies. "The man who called me yesterday—that's the person who called. He said they're operating on Anna, they're doing something to her...he doesn't know what it is, but he said it will allow them to be in control afterwards."
Sam's heart drops. "Jesus," he mutters, feeling horrified. "What do you mean they will be in control?"
"He doesn't know—I don't know," he replies. "He said if we had planned to attack the base and get her out, we wouldn't be able to take her because they are operating on her now."
Sam's knees buckle, so he sits in the chair and faces Steve. "That's why they will let her go after two weeks?"
"I think so, yes," Steve quietly replies. "He said he is sure they will let her go."
Sam's initial thought when he first learned about what happened in the very beginning was thinking about how Bucky is going to blame himself, how it's going to kill him, and that was just because Anna got kidnapped because of him. But how is Bucky going to survive knowing about this? How is he going to survive knowing that they have operated on her? And they won't even be there to help him through everything he is going to be feeling, he will be all by himself.
It makes it even more heart breaking knowing that Bucky was already always blaming himself for being with Anna. He was happy with her, he loved her, and she made him better in so many ways, but he knows the guilt Bucky felt while being with her never went away. He remembers how one time, Bucky almost left her because of all the guilt he was feeling towards her, and because he was terrified he would end up hurting her.
"Are you going to say what the hell is wrong with you?" Sam asked Bucky, handing him a bottle of beer.
He was sitting on the porch of Sam’s house in Delacroix, gazing ahead of him, looking wearily lost in his thoughts. Sam had known there was something burdening him since they got here, and he also had a feeling it was why he wanted to come to Louisiana.
Bucky smiled faintly and took it. "What the hell is wrong with me?"
"You tell me. I waited for several days, hoping you might actually say anything," he told him, taking a seat beside him. "But of course you didn't."
He glanced down at the bottle in his hand. "A part of me was hoping I could actually fix whatever it is I am feeling and never have to speak of it."
"Well, it seems you didn't fix it. So talk."
Bucky breathed heavily, then turned his gaze to the view in front of him. "I think I should leave Anna."
Sam expected many answers, but that was definitely not one of them.
"What?" he asked, a little too loudly.
"What am I doing, Sam?" he asked, turning his head to the side to look at him. "I took things very slow with her because I thought I needed time to get my shit together. It's been over seven months, and I am still a fucking mess. I still can't stay over at her place or actually sleep when we're together because of the damn nightmares,” he paused, taking a sip from the bottle of beer.
"We were in California recently, she was visiting some friends, and we—we passed by an area that had someone's house I killed before. He was an ex-Hydra agent. I think he had threatened them that he would release some stuff, and they had given me the order to make the kill slow. You have a full day to make it as slow as you possibly can, then burn the house, they said. And I—I did exactly that. I just remembered everything clearly—way too clearly and I couldn't. I was literally seeing blood everywhere and incapacitated body parts, hearing screams....and then I looked by my side and saw Anna, and I felt so stupid and selfish. Because really, what the fuck am I doing?"
"Shit," Sam said, unable to hide how shocking it was to hear what Bucky said.
"Yeah, shit," he murmured. "It gets even worse....I left her. I told I have to go, and I am sorry, and I just left, because I couldn't look at her and it was all too damn much."
"When was that?" Sam asked.
"Last week," Bucky replied.
"And let me guess, you haven't talked to her since."
Bucky glanced down, his eyes filled with so much guilt and sadness. He swallowed. "No."
"That's why you wanted to come here, you wanted to escape," Sam said, because Bucky was the one who suggested they come here.
"Maybe?" he said. "I know running away from our problems is unhealthy now, apparently. Dr. Raynor tells me all the time."
Sam actually laughed at that. "I wasn't going to say that," he told him. "Bucky, you do realize you love Anna, right? That's not exactly something you can escape from."
He started grazing his fingers around the bottle of beer, avoiding Sam's eyes and looking a little bit nervous. "I know," he quietly said. "Otherwise, I would have left her long ago. It would have been a lot easier. But—but maybe it's time I do, Sam, before she starts feeling the same."
Sam looked at Bucky like he was insane. "You are joking, right?"
"What?"
"She's in love with you, Bucky. Don't you see the way she looks at you, man?"
Bucky tried to object. "That doesn't mean..."
"Do you know when I realized it?"
Bucky sighed. “When?"
"When Steve showed her the pictures he had of you guys when you were young and she cried," he told him, smiling. "I know we all laughed then, but that's when I knew. Any blind person would have known."
Bucky smiled sadly, but didn't say anything.
"So that should actually make you happy," Sam teased. "I don't know why you look like I said she wanted to break up with you."
“Because that makes it harder. I should have never been in a relationship when I was—and still am, so messed up. But she made me feel so normal, Sam. And what does that say about me? Doesn't that make me a selfish, greedy person?" he asked. "I don't want to hurt her. I have already hurt so many people. I would rather be all alone than hurt anyone else."
"What are you thinking about?" Steve asks Sam, bringing him back to reality.
Sam doesn't want to burden Steve with his own heavy and overwhelming thoughts. He knows what's happening is more than enough.
"Nothing, just thinking," he replies. "So that's it? We are not going to be able to do anything?"
Steve inhales and exhales, looking like he's about to panic. "Something is wrong with him. They did something."
"Yeah," Sam quietly says. "He—he knew he wouldn’t be able to fight us, Steve. I saw how he looked. He would try to hit you and then he would look like he was going to faint afterwards. He was pale and shivering...he threw up for God’s sake. What could they have possibly done?"
And it terrifies him, knowing that they let him get out of here, and that he would probably be getting back to whatever it is they were doing to him. How are they even supposed to continue living? What are they supposed to do? It feels like they should be turning the world upside down, instead, they are sitting here, helpless and unaware of what's actually happening to Bucky.
"Do you think it could be medical tests? For the serum?" Steve asks.
"But he didn't tell us that," Sam says. "He said they just want him back, he never said anything about recreating the serum."
Steve drops his head back on the wall. "Maybe he didn't want to tell us because he knew how we would react....I don't know, I am tired of trying to guess what's happening. I just want to attack the damn base and get them both out of there."
Sam sighs in exhaustion. "Are we just going to wait for Anna to get out then?" he asks, feeling his heart sinking.
"It's going to kill us, but I don't think we have any other option," Steve replies. "We are going to wait, and we have to figure out how we're going to survive until then."
—
Bucky
He should be nervous, he should be worried and he should think about what actually made Steve let him leave. But he is so incredibly tired, and he can't bear the stinging fire in his back, so he falls asleep the moment he rests his head on the car's window. He sleeps the whole way back to D.C. and doesn't even wake up once.
When they arrive, he nearly asks them to remain in the car a little longer. He is still so exhausted that he could easily sleep here for another five hours, but he pushes himself to leave, leaving the quietness and the brief peace he had during the ride.
They place the electric shock collar back on his neck when they reach the base, and he is so tired he doesn't even feel anything when they put it back on. Instead, he thinks about how great it is that they are letting him keep his shirt and jacket on, because he's still cold.
They don't take him back to the medical exam room where he was staying, or the other room they usually leave him in. They lead him to a room guarded by the man who is assigned to Anna, and Bucky feels certain that this is the person who called Steve. Their eyes meet for a moment, before he opens the door of the room, revealing Anna inside.
She is sitting on a bed, her head resting against its headboard, her eyes closed and her legs stretched out beneath the duvet. She's wearing a hospital gown, he realizes. Why the hell would they let Anna wear that?
He looks at the guard by his side. "Why—why is she wearing that?"
She opens her eyes at the sound of his voice. He thought she was asleep, but it looks like she isn’t. "Bucky," she almost gasps. She looks like she's been crying, her eyes are bloodshot and her skin is a bit pale. "I—I told you not to come back."
And then Rumlow walks inside the room, passing by Bucky. He stands next to her bed. "Not come back?" he asks. "He let us fuck him—literally, so nothing would happen to you, Anna. You thought he would leave you?"
Bucky clenches his jaw, fighting against the shudders of disgust crawling up through him. "What's happening, Anna? Are you okay?" he asks Anna.
"Oh, she is fine. This is the room she has been staying in by the way, do you see how she is well taken care of? She even has her own bathroom. She just gives us trouble about the bed and always wants to stay on the floor instead. She feels guilty, I think, because she gets all this comfort and you get tortured. Did I get the reasoning right, Anna?" he asks her, but she doesn't look at him. She keeps her gaze on the edge of the bed, and she looks so devastated, even more than she did yesterday.
"Anyway, we couldn't let her sleep on the floor today," he says, turning his gaze to Bucky. He walks closer to him and stops by the edge of the bed, his hands in his pockets. "She had a very small, quick surgery this morning."
Bucky feels a sudden violent jolt in his heart. "W-what?"
"Do you remember the other super soldiers, Barnes? The ones that got injected with Howard Stark's serum?" Rumlow asks.
Bucky's head hurts. He is confused and terrified, and he doesn't understand how Rumlow's question is relevant to Anna at all. "What is wrong with her?" he asks, his voice shaky.
"Patience, we will get there," Rumlow replies. "They were a bunch of unstable individuals, weren't they? You would know that more than me, I only got the debriefings and the reports. They had tried to come up with a few solutions to keep them under control, things like chips in the brain or neural implants. The most practical solution, however, was a small little device that gets implanted above the heart....this small," he pauses, demonstrating with his fingers its size.
"The doctors explained it to me, they said it works like a pacemaker or an ICD, except instead of regulating the heart or shocking the heart back when it stops, it does the exact opposite. It can send shocks in the chest—excruciating ones, that almost mimic a cardiac arrest. Use it many times in a row and it won't just make the man drop to his knees, it could kill him. And it doesn't stop here," he adds with a smile, "there's also a failsafe. One click, and the heart just....stops."
Bucky's head feels like it's swimming. "Why are you telling me this?" he asks, hearing his loud heartbeats in his ear.
Rumlow continues and doesn't answer Bucky's question. "That device was actually very successful. It was going to get implanted on all of them, even you, but then, as you know, they paused the whole project. But, you see, we couldn't use the device that was made for them, because they were super soldiers, so the doctors in Siberia made one just for your Anna, one that would work for a normal human being," he told him, his eyes flickering with amusement. "We implanted it earlier today. It was a small surgery, really. She is all fine now."
"No," is all that comes out of Bucky's mouth. The world is spinning and the air is leaving his lungs. "This is—it's a sick joke, right? This can't be—"
"Show him, Anna," he cuts him off.
Anna takes a shaky breath and pulls down her medical gown. And Bucky sees it, he sees a fresh scar beneath her left collarbone, and the small bulge underneath her skin, where the device sits. She lifts her head and looks at Rumlow, even though his back is to her. "You know I can kill myself, right?" she asks him, her voice quiet and detached.
The ringing in Bucky's ears is so loud it feels like his head might shatter completely. He is on the verge of collapse, barely holding onto what's left of his sanity.
Rumlow laughs, turning to face her. "Do it, Anna. It will be a fun experiment to see how his mind deals with that," he tells her. "You know, I actually thought about this, and I think the only solution both of you would bear is if you both agree on dying—a Romeo and Juliet kind of scenario, but you both love each other so damn much to agree on letting the other person die, don't you?"
All reason abandons Bucky's mind. His head is on his fire. He's losing control, and he wants to kill them all.
They operated on her.
They opened her up.
They put a device inside her.
A device that can torture her. That can kill her.
Bucky lunges at Rumlow, but the guards instantly hold him back, and before he can fight them, he feels the electricity surging through his body, bringing him down to the floor. He tries to fight it, tries to claw at the collar with his metal hand, but the voltage only increases. Blood fills his mouth and he feels the pain tearing through every nerve in his body. His back burns even more with every movement, and he feels the nausea and the dizziness he had been feeling when he was with Steve and Sam again.
It finally stops, and he breathes loudly, hissing in pain as he tries to clear his vision.
"His back is already a fucking mess," he hears Anna say, her voice trembling, but she is not screaming or shouting. "What else do you want to do?"
"Right now, I really don't want to do anything, Anna. I just need him to be obedient," Rumlow replies.
He keeps breathing heavily as he sits with his knees bent beneath him. He has to take the damn collar off. He has to take it off. So he quickly lifts his left hand to the collar, but doesn't even get a chance to try because he is back on the floor, grunting loudly in pain. His back is being torn open again. And his head, which was already hurting him badly, now feels like it's going to explode. He knows the intensity of all the pain he is feeling should make him unconscious, but he keeps fighting it. He blinks furiously, dragging himself back from the edge of the darkness, refusing to give in to the unbearable pain he is feeling.
It takes him a few seconds to realize that the electricity stopped, because the pain is everywhere. The aftermath of it is so horrible this time, he thinks it's going to take him a very long while to be able to get up from the floor, but he gives himself a couple of seconds to breathe, then tries to get up. The rage he is feeling will kill him if he doesn't do anything. So he rests his arms on the ground, breathes deeply, and tries with any power left in him to stand.
He hears Rumlow’s footsteps approaching him, and tries to use his metal arm to push himself up faster, but then Rumlow pushes his combat boot on Bucky's back, forcing him to lie on the ground, his face pressed to the floor. He tries to force his mouth shut to hold his scream, but it comes out anyway, an awful sound that slips past his clenched teeth.
"Stay there," Rumlow says, his boot still on Bucky's back. "We weren't supposed to implant it now, Barnes. It was supposed to happen by the end of the two-week period. The plan was to break you, then control you. But then you had to do what you did yesterday, and I realized that everything we did still wasn't enough to get you to comply. And I told you you would regret it, didn't I? So we thought...why not install it now, before we start the three phases punishment again before Anna leaves? That way, we have more fun, and you also get to see what your non-compliance going forward will do to her.”
Bucky still tries to use his arms to lift himself up, even though he probably won’t be able to, but Rumlow presses his leg even harder into his back, resting his weight down, until Bucky’s fists clench and a loud, strangled groan bursts from his throat.
“I said stay there,” Rumlow calmly says. “Look at the bright side, at least she gets to leave soon, right? We might even make her leave a little early because we have already implanted it now."
He removes his leg, and Bucky lets out a painful exhale, finally releasing his held breath. His body trembles, and he knows he won't be able to get up from the floor again.
"But just so you know how serious the situation is, because what you just did made me realize you are probably in denial and haven't taken in what I actually said. Let's give it a quick try. Hold him up," he says to the guards.
They push him from each side, holding him by his arms, and Bucky gasps in pain, unable to hold in any sounds escaping him anymore. He stays on his knees as they hold him upright, and he fights to keep his eyes open.
"Are you ready?" Rumlow asks.
And then Anna screams, before the sound shifts into sharp, horrifying gasps.
"No, n-no, stop," he tries to say, but he doesn't think anyone can hear him. He wants to cover his ears, but he can't even do that because they are holding his arms. This is the worst sound he has ever heard, and he thinks about how this must be what Anna was feeling when he was getting tortured, and realizes that this is worse than all the torture that was done to him. "Stop—fucking stop," he tries to loudly say. "Stop!" he hoarsely shouts this time.
Her screams stop, and he feels like he can actually breathe now. His vision is still blurry, but he sees Anna bent forward, her hair falling over her face. Her chest is rising in harsh, quick breaths with her hand clutching at it.
Rumlow stands in front of him and tilts his face up so he looks at him."Did it sink in now?" he asks. "That will happen every time you don't comply. Even when she leaves. We have been merciful, you must know that. We could have kept her imprisoned here, for as long as we wanted…we could have actually tortured her, Barnes, but we did not do that. When we thought about it, we realized that this would be the most effective solution, because we need you to know that you are giving yourself up for something valuable, not to just prevent harm from happening. She will actually get to live. She can go back to her job and she can continue having a normal life, and we’ll be able to monitor the device wherever she is."
He lets go of Bucky's face and turns to Anna. "And of course, Anna, if you so much as tamper with the device or allow someone to get near it, the internal sensors will register an interference and transmit an alert right back to us," he gestures with the touchpad in his hand, which has several data displayed on it but Bucky is not able to read what it says. Rumlow glances at it, then turns his gaze to Anna. "Your heart rate is 150, Anna. Are you feeling alright?"
"Stop talking, stop," she snaps, her voice exhausted and furious. "I am fucking tired of hearing your voice. Get out."
"Whoa, Anna. You are acting like this is really your room. Maybe we should extend your stay then," he says, smiling. "But I will let it go. You just had surgery and you must be tired, so no hard feelings."
He is back in Bucky's face again. "As long as you do what is asked of you, and as long as you're a good boy, all will be well, Barnes. Don't worry," he tells him, slapping Bucky's face lightly. "God, you look like shit. Take him back to the exam room and send for the doctor, she's going to give me a fucking headache about his back now," he says before he leaves the room.
Bucky tries to stand up but ends up falling back to the floor, so they drag him to the exam room while he is still on his knees. He shuts his eyes, unable to look at Anna again.
He had previously thought that everything that happened was the worst that could ever happen to them, but now, he thinks this must be it. They will be trapped in this endless cycle of torment. Anna will be stuck with a twisted device in her body, and he will be stuck here, back under Hydra's control.
So he buries his anger deep inside him, because he won't be able to control himself otherwise. He had been feeling like he was struggling to breathe and drowning ever since the third phase happened, but he's not suffocating anymore. He has hit the bottom, where endless despair closes in around him. It engulfs him, leaves him hollow and empties him, with no energy left to make plans, to hope, or to fight. He gives in. He finally surrenders.
And now he knows that he will do whatever they want, without hesitation. He won't fight. He will comply. He will be obedient.
He will be their Winter Fucking Soldier.