Chapter Text
The man was tanned and strong. His muscles rippled though the thin material of his t-shirt as his lips tranced down Seungkwan’s body. Seungkwan moaned, threading his hands through the man’s thick dark brown hair. The man unbuckled Seungkwan’s belt and pulled down his dress pants with ease before looking up at him with big blue eyes.
“I love you,” he said, taking Seungkwan in his mouth. Seungkwan whined, whined louder and louder until BEEP BEEP BEEP.
No.
BEEP BEEP BEEP.
Seungkwan opened his eyes, seeing the grey of his ceiling lit by the grey of the sky.
“No,” he groaned, in a distinctly unsexy way. It always ended when it got to the good bit. He was hard and going to be late for work if he didn’t get out of bed in the next two minutes. “Pathetic,” he muttered to himself before pulling back the duvet and heading to the shower.
In the shower, he tried to continue the fantasy that had started in his dream. The brown haired man had him in his mouth, soft dark brown hair, big blue eyes, yes. Yes, like that.
“You know, you’re as beautiful as the day we met, even better,” the man said.
“Yeah? Even though I’ve gained weight?” Seungkwan moaned.
“I hadn’t noticed,” the man said. Seungkwan smiled. He’d only met him - how long ago now? Six? Seven? Ten? Twelve months ago?
Seungkwan stopped, snapping his eyes open. He hadn’t got laid in twelve months. The shower felt like needles against his skin. He washed and dried himself quickly, unsure what to do with that information.
Had it really been twelve months since he’d met that beautiful man that looked like superman at that dusty little bar in central?
The rest of the morning passed in a stupor as he autopilotted his way through coffee; getting dressed and catching the bus to work.
He was going to die alone. He knew it. He was twenty-seven years old and his longest relationship had lasted only six months. He thought he was going to be married by now. Or at least engaged, with a mortgage on a house in some residential little town that had good schools and no knife crime. His sister’s warnings of dying a lonely whore came back to him and he cringed at the fact he wasn’t even a whore. He hadn’t got laid in a year!
“You’re looking chipper,” Jeonghan, his editor, said as he arrived at work.
“Am I?” Seungkwan said.
“No, you look awful. But anyway, you better be ready for the photo shoot. I’ll see you later.”
Seungkwan nodded. He’d worked at the magazine for three months now, after a friend managed to wrangle him an internship. The job was fine but he hated it. More precisely it just made him realise his own inadequacies every single day. The only thing that had stopped him quitting was—
“Seungkwan! Baby have I missed you, guess what I did this weekend?” Seokmin, his best friend, bounced over to him.
“Was it Joshua?”
Seokmin stopped mid bound, looking him up and down. “What’s up with you on this fine day?”
Seungkwan sighed. “Nothing, just a bit...”
Seokmin eyed him, waiting for him to continue and clearly not moving until he did.
“Okay, I realised I haven’t had sex in…” he trailed off.
“What was that?”
“In twelve months!” he said it louder than perhaps necessary. Seokmin clutched his imaginary pearls.
“Oh my, I thought something was actually wrong,” he said.
“Shut up, I’ve just realised I’m gonna die alone.”
“Yeah, I expect so with that attitude.”
Seungkwan shot daggers at him with his glare.
“I joke, I jest,” Seokmin took a couple of steps back. “You’re only twenty-seven, it’s a bit premature to give up on love quite yet.”
“Give up on love? Love is far gone - I’ve given up on even primal carnal desire! Nobody wants me.”
Seokmin rolled his eyes. “I can set you up with people, if you want to get laid.”
“Joshua’s friends?” Seungkwan asked, turning to his computer to check his emails.
“Well they’re all horny models, so yeah?” his best friend said.
“It’s not what I want,” he muttered. Seokmin didn’t speak, confirming, in Seungkwan’s eyes, that no one would ever love him. It was fine.
“Seungkwan!” Jeonghan called across the open plan office space. “Photoshoot has moved up, we’re going now. Come on.”
The intern sighed, it was going to be a long day.
They were shooting on location in a flower meadow just outside the city and Seungkwan arrived feeling sick - mainly from Jeonghan’s driving and maybe the three iced americanos he’d drunk that morning. Maybe he should give up coffee? Don’t be daft, he scolded himself internally. He trudged behind his boss, carrying all the heavy bags, while Jeonghan briefed him on the shoot.
“So it’s called City Boy Gone Country. We’re showcasing a stripping back from modern life with clothes inspired by more traditional garments but still with a chic edge. The first thing I’ll need you to do is get the coffees.”
“The coffees?” Seungkwan looked up to see the base camp consisting of four tents and around thirty people rushing around.
“There’s a coffee machine in that tent, hurry. The model doesn’t have all day.”
For the next hour Seungkwan hurried around the camp asking all the incredibly busy people if they’d like a coffee. Most people were delighted with the offer, a few were rather annoyed to be interrupted and every single person had a specific milk, shot and temperature requirement. Then he went to find the smallest and slowest coffee machine in the world and thanked goodness that he worked as a barista throughout university and could make coffee in his sleep. Still after thirty coffees, made and delivered, his intention to give up caffeine came back with a vengeance and he cursed the fool that first discovered a coffee bean.
“Excuse me,” a voice said behind Seungkwan.
“What?” Seungkwan said, frothing the milk for another oat cappuccino.
“Are you the person to ask for a coffee?”
Seungkwan slammed the milk down and turned to the speaker.
“What does it look like?” he snapped. The man gave him an awkward smile. He was pretty, with wide brown eyes and features that had clearly been carved by God (or a very good surgeon) - and he had clips holding his hair in place and a coverall over his clothes. He was the model.
Now I have to deal with some demanding model? Seungkwan thought, barely containing an eye roll and forcing on a smile. “What can I get you? An iced skinny latte with only half a shot? Or a decaf almond cappuccino with two sweeteners and strawberry syrup? Or perhaps a quadruple shot of espresso, extra hot?”
The model maintained his awkward smile as he listened to Seungkwan, nodding slightly as he went on.
“I can make my own, it’s okay,” he said once the intern had stopped for breath. Seungkwan stared at him before finishing his final order.
“Be my guest,” he finally said, breezing past him with the coffee, delivering it before locking himself in the toilet trailer.
“I’m quitting,” he said, having got Seokmin on the phone.
“Next time you tell me that I’m gonna draft your resignation letter myself.”
“Do it, I can’t take this anymore.”
“What did they get you to do?” his long suffering best friend sighed down the phone.
“I had to make like thirty coffees on this tiny coffee machine,” Seungkwan groaned.
“God forbid. So you’re going to quit and then do what? Oh yeah, get a job as a barista cause it’s the only experience you have. And then you can make even more coffee.” Seungkwan regretted calling him.
“I just don’t feel… useful.”
“Well go be useful instead of hiding in the toilets whining to me.”
“I actually hate you - how did you know I was in the toilet?”
“Goodbye Kwannie,” Seokmin said, hanging up the phone. Seungkwan sighed, knowing he was right and he needed to stop being a little bitch. He needed this job - it paid well, or at least better than his last one, and after all he had rent to pay and iced americanos to buy.
He wandered back towards the centre of the camp, trying to appreciate the beauty of the surroundings and the warmth of the sun. It was only for a couple of hours and then he’d be at home.
“Seungkwan!” A very angry Jeonghan was marching over to him as a cloud covered the sun. “I thought I told you to make coffee?”
“I did? I made so many,“ he retorted.
“Then why has Vernon managed to burn his hand on the coffee machine, making his own coffee?” Jeonghan crossed his arms, his long blonde hair fluttering menacingly over his eyes.
“Vernon?”
“The model.”
“Fuck sake,” Seungkwan mumbled. Jeonghan continued looking at him expectantly. “I’ll tell him sorry.”
“You’ll do more than that, you’re first aid trained. Go.” His boss gestured to one of the tents.
“Isn’t anyone else?”
“Yes but we’re all rather busy, go. We start shooting in five minutes.”
It was the fastest he moved all day, a pervading sense of dread and guilt coming over him. Of course the model burnt himself, he’d probably never made coffee for himself once in his life. Seungkwan grabbed the first aid kit and headed to Vernon who was sitting in the makeup chair scrolling on his phone - the scene was not quite as dramatic as he expected.
“I’ve come to give you first aid,” he said, holding out the bag, as if to prove it.
Vernon looked up at him.
“I’m genuinely ok, they’re just making a fuss,” he said, turning his attention back to his phone. Seungkwan sighed. This wouldn’t do.
“Show me the hand, I’ll just have a look,” he said, kneeling beside Vernon’s chair. After a moment, Vernon presented his burnt hand. It wasn’t too bad, a little red and hot but no blistering or broken skin.
“Okay, so I’m going to recommend running it under cold water for twenty minutes,” he looked around the tent, spotting a stainless steel sink set up in the corner. “Here.” Seungkwan pulled on the model’s arm but the other man resisted.
“It’s fine.”
“No it isn’t. “
“Isn’t there any burn gel? Or an ice pack?” Vernon shook off Seungkwan grip, his burnt hand brushing the chair and causing him to wince in pain.
“You need to run it under cold water.”
Vernon reached for the first aid kit and began rummaging around inside. Seungkwan’s eyes widened and before he knew what he was doing he snatched the bag right out of Vernon’s hands.
“No you can’t use burn gel, it’ll cool the burn briefly and then wear off and the burn will heat up again and start to hurt again. And no you can’t use an ice pack because that would cause ice burns - the temperature difference is too much and your skin is already sensitive because of the burn. Run it under cold water!”
They both just stared at each other, Vernon’s mouth slightly agape. Seungkwan tried reading his expression, to see if he was going to get him fired. A moment later Vernon stood up and walked over to the sink, turning it on and placing his hand underneath it. A slight feeling of pride came upon Seungkwan as he watched. He joined Vernon at the sink, starting a timer on his phone for twenty minutes.
“Do we even have enough time for this?” the model asked.
“Jeonghan said the shoot would start in five minutes so I reckon we’ve got at least thirty,” Seungkwan said, garnering a chuckle from Vernon. They stood in silence for a little longer. Seungkwan took in the other boy; he was slightly taller than himself and slender. He’d bet Vernon would look good in a potato sack. Perfect model material.
“Have you worked for the magazine long?” Vernon asked, meeting Seungkwan’s eyes.
“Just three months,” the intern replied, casting his gaze back to Vernon’s hand in the sink. God, even his hands were gorgeous.
“You must be a fast learner.”
Seungkwan laughed before realising Vernon was being genuine. “What about you? How long have you been modelling?”
Vernon thought for a moment, “Since I was eight years old, so for almost twenty years now.”
“Fair, no wonder…” Seungkwan began.
“No wonder what?”
“That you can’t make your own coffee,” the intern shrugged.
“Hey,” Vernon nudged him but was smiling. “I’m not especially… gifted in that area.”
“That area?”
“Kitchen stuff.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Seungkwan watched as Vernon grinned. His teeth were perfect too. Memories of that morning and the crushing knowledge that he was going to die alone overcame him again. He didn’t have perfect hands or a smile to die for - who was going to want him?
They spent the remainder of the twenty minutes chatting about work or the shoot - Seungkwan finding it surprisingly easy to make Vernon laugh. Afterwards the shoot commenced and the intern watched from the sidelines as Vernon posed effortlessly and everyone fawned over him.
Seungkwan was packing up the car afterwards when the model walked up to him.
“Thank you again,” the taller man said.
“That’s alright, is it hurting anymore?” he replied, struggling to close a box of props.
“Not at all,” Vernon said, looking at his hand.
“Well then, I did my job.” He finally closed the lid and shoved it into a space in the boot of the car only causing a cascade of other items to tumble out. Vernon started helping him pick them up. “You don’t have to.”
“I don’t mind.” He helped Seungkwan stack everything in a way that was at least semi-secure.
“Seungkwan! Are you ready to go?” Jeonghan yelled from across the field. The intern replied with a thumbs up.
“Well it was lovely to meet you Vernon, if the burn starts to hurt again run it under more cold water yeah?” Seungkwan moved around to the car door.
“Um, could I perhaps get your number?” Vernon said. Seungkwan spun around.
“Did they not give you follow up details for the next shoot?” the intern frowned. Vernon’s eyes widened.
“Umm, I don’t know?” he said.
“Your agent has Jeonghan’s details for sure, he’ll be the best person to message. I really don’t know anything. Like I said, I’m just an intern.” Seungkwan smiled, slipping into the car and wondering how a model twenty years in the game wouldn’t know how to get in contact with the editor? Well he couldn’t make coffee either, Seungkwan thought, and put it from his mind as he waved at Vernon slowly walking away. What an odd kid.