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Zak was wearing his high-neck leather sleeveless crop top with the mesh panel in the front and Hawks couldn’t keep his hands off him. Paired with some biker shorts, it seemed to accentuate Zak’s long torso even more than when he wore it with his cargo pants. Hawks was a little bewildered at how an outfit could somehow make Zak even sexier — make Hawks fantasize about what was underneath it even though he’d seen Zak naked a fair portion of the time they had together. The magic of fashion, he supposed.
As for Hawks, he was wearing a racer-back tank top that he’d stolen from Zak. He’d borrowed it during laundry day once, and Zak had made the fatal error of complimenting how good it made Hawks’s shoulders and arms look. Hawks immediately claimed it and never gave it back, much to Zak’s annoyance. He complained about it now and again, but never made a move to take it back.
Either way, things had gone from flirty to fighty, and Hawks was riled up. It started off typically enough, but Zak seemed off tonight. He was a little sluggish and kept missing blocks and getting cuffed in the head with Hawks’s wings. Eventually, Zak stopped in the middle of battle, drooped his wings, slouched, and whined. Hawks was still feeling spicy, though, so worked him up against the wall, albeit more gently than usual.
“What’s the matter, Devil Wings? Don’t you want to fight?” Hawks asked. He was still throwing jabs and combinations into Zak’s belly, but they were just soft little taps.
“I don’t know. I thought I did, but I guess I don’t?” Zak sighed and dropped his forehead against Hawks’s shoulder. “I don’t knooooow what I want!”
Zak made no move to block the punches, so Hawks pulled him into a hug instead.
“Do you want me to cuddle you?” He asked. He felt Zak’s chest heave a sigh against him.
“No, I’m too antsy.” He said.
“I guess that means a nap is out.” Hawks said, wrapping his wings around Zak.
Zak wriggled his wings underneath Hawks’s and hugged him back. He made a noncommittal grumble and repositioned his head over Hawks’s shoulder. Hawks rocked him a little bit, and they fell into a sort of simple slow dance.
“Do you need another way to get energy out?” Hawks asked, “Maybe we could go flying?”
Zak was quiet for a moment, and Hawks saw the end of his tail flick.
“No, I don’t want to,” Zak said eventually. He sighed again, “But I don’t know why I don’t want to. I can’t explain it!”
“It’s okay. If you don’t want to do it you don’t want to do it. You don’t have to explain why.”
Hawks paused.
“Do you want to be left alone for a bit?” He offered.
“No!” Zak said, hastily coiling his tail around Hawks’s leg and tightening his wings. Hawks laughed and squeezed him back.
“I just feel so wiggly and it’s driving me crazy!” Zak groaned, “I wish I could just be still.”
Hawks perked his wings and his eyes flashed. He turned his head so he could look Zak in the eye.
“Do you want me to tie you up?”
Zak’s face instantly brightened and he lifted his tail, curling up the end.
“Yeah!!”
Hawks laughed and spun Zak around a few times before depositing him on the couch. The two of them had started taking rope classes earlier in the summer at a sex-positive community organization, and had really taken to it. Hawks loved the artistry of the ties, and was a bit embarrassed that he never knew about the Japanese origins of Shibari.
“Alright then, Devil Wings,” he said, “what are you feeling? Playful? Mean? Meditative?”
He was already cycling through different ties in his head.
“Hmmm,” Zak looked at the ceiling, “I want to feel restrained. I want to feel completely helpless.”
Hawks paused his mental inventory on a few ties that would work well. He could already imagine Zak bound up on the floor and it was making his feathers fluff.
“Do you want to roleplay? Or just stay quiet?”
“Let’s stay quiet,” said Zak, “maybe occasionally say something intense to remind me of my plight, but I think I mostly want quiet and domineering. I want to feel trapped.”
“I can do that. What about your tail? Should I bind it?”
Zak repositioned on the couch and put his chin in his hand.
“Don’t tie it, but I would like you to hold onto it firmly.”
“Can I pull you around by it?”
“A little, but don’t make it the “thing” if that makes sense?”
“It does.”
“What do you want out of it?” Zak asked. Hawks pondered a moment.
“I want to do an artsy tie, the one I didn’t get to last time. Maybe can I suspend you with my feathers?”
“Yeah I’m down for that.”
“Can I take a picture?” Hawks asked, imagining how pretty the tie might end up.
“Yeah! Wait…” Zak flicked his tail in thought, “Maybe. Ask first.”
“Of course,” Hawks said, “Do you want me to push you around or hit you?”
“Nah,” Zak shifted so he was leaning against the arm of the couch, “I think you’ve pummeled me enough today.”
“What!” Hawks bristled his feathers, “those were barely taps!”
“Pummeled!” Zak said, dramatically throwing an arm across his forehead and leaning back over the arm of the couch. The action bared his tummy, which Hawks admitted looked temptingly punchable. Instead, he sent a feather to swipe across Zak’s torso.
Zak shrieked and curled up and smacked Hawks with a wing.
“No tickling!” He glared, but was smiling.
Hawks raised his hands defensively and they both laughed.
Then Zak went quiet for a moment.
“I might cry.” he said eventually.
Hawks frowned and tilted his head. Zak looked at him.
“There’s something bottled up inside me that’s trying to wiggle its way out. But I don’t know exactly what it is. So I might cry. But I don’t want you to stop if I do.”
“Really?” Hawk crossed his legs and leaned back against his own couch arm.
“Yeah,” Zak nodded, “I feel like I might need it. I want you to keep going. Keep going until I cry myself out. Or if I safeword out.”
Hawks twitched his wings. It was a new request, and Zak had never wanted to intentionally go up to the safeword before. He thought about it more deeply.
“I’ll do that, but I might need extra care afterwards if that happens,” he said, “I think standing there and doing nothing to comfort you while you break down might mess with me.”
“Okay,” said Zak, “I can give you extra assurances that you did what I needed. I can do it while you build the nest.”
Hawks nodded, then took one of Zak’s wings by its finger and stroked it.
“I’ll want to fuss over you more than usual. Can I groom your wings?”
“Yeah! After cuddles and belly rubs though.”
“Of course.”
“Also…I might NOT cry, I’m not sure,” Zak said, tapping the finger of his wing on Hawks’s knee, “I might just get really horny instead.”
Hawks smirked and felt a little tingle swirl up in his belly.
“Can I fuck you when you’re tied up?” he asked, adding an…”edge” to how he stroked Zak’s wing. Zak grinned, then thought.
“Hmmm…no, untie me first.”
Hawks readjusted his mental fantasy.
“Okay but I’m going to tease you if so,” he grinned and leaned in, “I’ll go really slow. Make you beg for it.”
Zak leaned in as well until their noses were almost touching.
“Sounds delicious, Angel Wings.”
Then Hawks snapped forward and snuck in a little smooch. Zak fell back and laughed.
“Anything else?” Hawks asked. His feathers were starting to twitch.
Zak tilted his head this way and that, swaying his tail in thought.
“I think that’s everything!” he said “Are you sure you’re okay with the crying thing?”
“Yes,” Hawks nodded, “and if it gets to be too much I’ll just safeword out.”
“Good,” Zak nodded back, then smirked, “and it might not happen, you know. I don’t know yet.
Hawks smiled at Zak. This relationship was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It was freeing and adventurous, and at the same time, so very safe. Hawks had never felt this safe.
With that, Hawks leapt up off the couch.
“Alright, I’ll throw towels in the dryer for you!” He said.
“I’ll get the rope!” Zak flapped his wings and ambled over the back of the couch, swishing his tail like an excited cat.
“And PEE before we start this time!” Hawks called.
“Yeah yeah." Zak laughed, and ran to fetch the rope.