Chapter Text
Another day, Another funeral. How long would something so trivial need to take?
Shadow Milk Cookie as always insisted on the funerals held for the… Toys… that resided within his Country of Truth and Deceit. A kingdom where fantasy and reality cannot be told apart and where comfortable lies can become the truth for all cookies that reside there!
...Just don’t question the greatest entertainer in all of Earth-bread or try to escape or you’ll turn to one of the many, many puppets and toys that reside within his spire of Deceit...
Who was the funeral for this time? A grandfather cookie who recently was turned into a toy train after telling off Candy Apple Cookie to pay up for the damages made to his shop. He kept begging for the sweet release of being crumbled, to reunite with his wife in death after being so mercilessly judged by Shadow Milk Cookie. Candy Apple Cookie was supposed to simply break his limbs and leave it in the forest to be chewed on by the viscous wolves that resided in the forest but atlas, her lollipop simply two-inches too close to the doll’s head, and now it laid buried beneath the ground along with the other buried cookies and toys the trio had created.
Candy Apple Cookie now led the funeral with tears streaking down her cheeks, as Black Sapphire stood beside her, patted her shoulder with a false sense of pity. Shadow Milk stood tall with a mock-sorrowful expression, using a handkerchief (with his own face stitched on it of course) pulled from his long sleeves to wipe away the tears descending down his sharp features. Truthless Recluse only stood there watching with a vacant expression, praying internally for this ceremony to end already. He wasn’t sure how long he could take of Candy Apple’s constant weeping.
She spoke through her tears, with snot and tears . “And…” she sniffed, “he was so fun to play with too!” She continued to wail hysterically, then with a force to be reckoned with—slammed her lollipop hard against the coffin, nearly breaking it in half.
The crowd let out a mix of cries and gasps in shock when the corpse nearly tumbled out of the coffin, until they transformed into a form of cursed laughter pitted against the other. Black Sapphire gave her a stern glare, letting out a displeased huff, “you idiot! Don’t kill him again, he’s already dead!” He placed his hands on his hips as he stared at the remaining pieces of the casket, his microphone still clutched like a lifeline between his fingers.
“You better clean up this mess, or else Scheele green Cookie is gonna kill you for messing up her stage!” Shadow Milk snickered at the comment, only something Truthless Recluse could find the effort to roll his eyes at, Scheele Green Cookie's concerts were obnoxious and full of noise that was apparently considered music around here.
“What!?” She made a gagging noise at the thought of it, her expression of sorrow suddenly cleared as she pointed at her tongue, "why me! that’s gross. I’m not touching dead stuff!" She whined, kicking and throwing her fists in a tantrum, Black Sapphire sneered at her.
Truthless Recluse groaned at the incoming argument.
“Because you’re the one who killed him remember!? And because I said so, so do it!” He replied, hovering above her as he enforced his authority as the eldest sibling, leaning into his mic to make his voice boom. Candy Apple Cookie cared little for his authority for she stuck out her tongue and opened her mouth to make another retort when Truthless Recluse jumped in, his voice cold and piercing through the air. “You’re both so annoying. Just bury the stupid toy already and get it over with, I have better places to be.” He replied with an resigned expression.
The crowd let out a gasp, a range of voices cried out:
“he’s so cruel!”
“who the hell invited this guy!?”
“what is wrong with him?”
or any other sort of useless insults Truthless Recluse could care less about. Black Sapphire Cookie and Candy Apple Cookie turned to glare at Truthless Recluse, both letting out a collective groan. “Shut up! Nobody asked you to be here, Truthless bastard!” Candy Apple Cookie shouted as she stuck her tongue at him, Black Sapphire nodded with her. “Exactly! Shut your trap for once and mind your business! Ugly healer!” He retorted with her, as they both put down their thumbs and stuck their tongues out at him, making all kinds of jeering noises when the crowd decided to join in alongside the two, throwing all kinds of insults and gestures at the Truthless Recluse.
“You savage!”
“Bald old man!”
“Idiot cookie!”
“Dumb face!”
“Stupid hat!”
The insults kept coming and coming, an endless barrage that surrounded Truthless Recluse. Usually he didn’t care, and he still didn’t. But a few too many comments about his ‘stupid looking hat’ were starting to creep under his skin. How dare these simple cookies question his intellect? Calling him bald when he clearly had shoulder-length gorgeous blond locks (that Shadow Milk Cookie is oh-so comfortable with caressing every chance he gets) under his cool looking triangular hat, and why is the nice elderly lady who usually listened in on his lectures joining with them? Idiot cookies… He couldn’t believe they were actually starting to piss him off.
“Fools…” He mumbled under his breath, gripping his staff tightly. He looked down where he found his hand reaching out to grasp on his hat self-consciously before forcing it down to his side. There was no way that he actually cared about their comments, they simply didn’t know any better. And he knew better than to actually care about these hopeless idiots that chose to live out their lives in oppression under the guise of sweet lies. It was pathetic.
“Woah! Woah! Woah! Easy on the insults my friends!” Shadow Milk Cookie laughed as he flew infront of the grumbling Truthless Recluse, facing the crowd with an easygoing smile. The cookies and toys cheered as he made his appearance, laughing joyously and repeated his name in praise as he bowed down towards the attention. Truthless Recluse rolled his eyes as Black Sapphire and Candy Apple joined in with them. It was ridiculous.
Shadow Milk blew out kisses to the crowd, eagerly swallowing up all the attention he was receiving. He looked ridiculous like that, eagerly taking in the cookie’s praise as if they were his salvation, as if they offered anything of importance. They were all worthless.
“Thank you–thank you!” He laughed once more, “how sweet you all are! I apologize on the behalf of my dearest recluse here<3” If Truthless Recluse were half as dramatic as Shadow Milk’s minions were he would have made a gagging sound, instead he retained his dignity and instead scoffed, turning away from the damn jester who only snickered at his reaction.
“I know he can be insensitive! And a bit of a loser—”
“excuse me?” Truthless Recluse turned back to him with narrowed eyes.
he ignored Truthless Recluse’s interruption as he continued on with his speech, “but I hope you can find it within your kind hearts to forgive him! He doesn’t know any better and he is a shadow of my other half after all,” Truthless Recluse was already walking off the stage when he let out an undignified squeak whilst Shadow Milk Cookie pulled him closer to the front of the crowd alongside him. Wrapping his disgusting and revolting arms around his shoulders, showing him off like some kind of trophy to the crowd, pressing his face to his with a manic glee in his smile. “...Right, my dear?” He smirked when he turned towards the Recluse, the cookie could only scowl right back at him, he refused to play the part of his beloved in whatever twisted game the jester had going on in his mind.
So he rejected him the same way he always did.
“Ew. Gross. Die.”
The reaction was almost immediate, gasps and shouts came from the group as they hurled further insults at the recluse, he saw from the corner of his eyes how Black Sapphire and Candy Apple cookie joining with them, with the eldest having to physically hold back the younger cookie as she attempted to run at him with her lollipop. Useless.
But Shadow Milk Cookie didn’t seem to mind, instead his grin grew impossibly wider. A terrible blush spreading throughout his cheeks. Disgusting. Revolting. Horrible. Ridiculous. What a ridiculous man. Truthless Recluse absolutely hated him.
“See? He always says the same thing but he never means it!” He turned to laugh at the crowd who reluctantly joined with him, Truthless recluse resisted the urge to spit as Shadow Milk slapped his shoulder half-heartedly, continuing to laugh even when the crowd grew more hostile towards the Recluse. “Now—settle down every toy and cookie! This is a funeral isn’t it? Lets be respectful!” Shadow Milk announced as he stood up tall, throwing confetti across the entire stage as bunnies hopped across the platform dancing and singing songs.
Truthless Recluse let out a shout as his bare feet were stepped on forcefully by the jester, he grabbed his bare feet trying to massage the pain when he heard snickers coming from behind him and he turned to give the two a dirty look, they only continued to make mocking sounds and stupid faces at his expense.
As Shadow Milk Cookie cleared his throat to continue on with the ceremony, commanding the audience to pay attention to his greatness, Truthless Recluse took his chance and escaped from the other man’s arms. The crowd still jeered and booed at him as they started to throw trash at him. Whatever, it didn’t matter. He didn’t care about them, they were crumbling fools anyway. This is what the recluse repeated to himself as he returned to the spire, ignoring any of the servants that attempted to followed him and the loud songs that played from behind him as the funeral quickly turned into another game show, he easily escaped their whispers and grasps before he finally arrived at his room. Pure silence welcomed him in.
He was pleased to find that the jester had not been waiting for him, and he almost let out a sigh of relief if it weren’t for the sheer amount of noise that could be heard from his window. He organized his room, He glared at the plushie the jester made, a replica of himself. He never touched the damn thing, keeping it as far away as he possibly could. How big does one ego have to be to have plushies of himself?
He turned towards the window, peering down in annoyance as he heard the excited shouts of the cookies and toys from the event outside. Candy Apple Cookie's screams ringing the loudest throughout the distorted tower as she hyped up the show and answered the questions in excitement. His eyes twitched and slammed the curtains shut as if it was supposed to muffle the sounds of laughter invading his window, he wished they would all just shut up already. How the cookies here could so easily forget the loss of their friend and just laugh at whatever nonsense Shadow Milk Cookie forced them in was utterly lost on him. As if the cookie they all knew didn't even matter, or hardly existed at all in the first place.
He remembered stumbling upon the graveyard during one of his strolls where he discovered how broken toys would end up when scrapped by their owners, how many of those were simply toys or cookies whose shadows had been taken away from them and forced into servitude? He clenched his teeth at the thought, and chose to focus on something else more pleasant.
Instead he carefully made his bedsheets, roaming his fingers across the silk in comfort, usually he never had the time to fix them as he would be quickly dragged away from his comfort into another dreadful game Shadow Milk had prepared for the day. Another foolish attempt to get into his mind and break him as if he hadn’t already. But from every game he was forced into, the more Truthless Recluse found himself beginning to understand more and more of the foolish jester, how he absolutely preened from the attention given to him from almost anyone.
How fragile his ego was when so easily diminished by himself, usually at least. How endearingly pathetic and obvious how the other man pinned for him, letting him get away with just about anything he wanted as long as he stayed with him. How Ridiculous. Indeed despite the jester priding himself in being a master of deceit and a king of games, the beast was almost ridiculously easy to read as soon as he let go of his previous compassion. Letting himself read the man entirely for what he was.
A lonely Jester who craved so desperately for understanding, and a want to make others cookies laugh and live with comfortable lies, including himself.
When the Recluse had awoken the next day, once again the outside world was covered with laughter and dance and songs that would echo through the entire forest. It was as if the funeral hadn't happened last night. The cookies and toys still had misguided joy and laughter within their hearts, playing games and taking turns in dancing. Of course it would not matter, time was only a mere concept here and death was a mere joke, for the very next day the toy’s spirit could be seen driving down the streets late at night laughing and playing along with other spirits.
How ridiculous.