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So, he wasn’t planning for this to happen, not really.
You see, Gojo has always struggled with his own identity. Not with the identity itself, but rather how it appeared to others. It’s stupid, really. He doesn’t know how to explain it. He enjoys being a man, tall, masculine, rough around the edges, all sharp angles and shit. Typical man stuff.
He enjoys being that. Messy short hair, big eyes and a big mouth that spits out all kinds of bullshit. Sometimes it makes girls swoon over him, and other times it earns him a slap on the face and blocked numbers. Again, typical man stuff. Nobody ever suspects anything, not from how he looks or acts, not even his best friend, Geto.
Which is why Gojo has never told him anything about it. It’s just unnecessary, like, why does he need to know? Gojo is a man and he doesn’t owe anybody a ‘coming out’ or whatever and it wouldn’t change anything and that’s totally the reason Gojo has never come out to his best friend of five years and isn’t planning to any time soon. Not because he’s like, scared, or anything. What a funny thought. He’s not scared of Geto’s reaction. He trusts his best friend not to be a bigot, obviously, so, he’s not scared that maybe Geto won’t take that small piece of information very well and he’s not scared his best friend might give him that long, uncomfortable stare that he’s received from certain individuals, and that he might, like, start to distance himself from Gojo or something like that and ask to be moved to a different dorm room and then, fucking, stop greeting him when he sees him on campus, and then blocks his number the moment they graduate and cuts him off just like, just because Gojo is like that.
He’s not scared. He’s not.
And Gojo chooses to keep his chest covered up at all times when Geto is around, and only changes his clothes when Geto isn’t around, and makes sure to keep the bathroom door locked when he’s using it, and avoids the gym showers like the plague only because he’s simply more comfortable that way. Not that that comfort has anything to do with Geto not knowing, no. That would be ridiculous. Because Gojo is proud of his identity and doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion of him, or what’s in his pants and everyone can go fuck themselves if they have a problem with it and it’s just, Geto doesn’t need to know, okay? It doesn’t matter how many times Gojo has fantasized about telling him, and relieving that tight, nervous coil he feels in his stomach whenever Geto is around (often) and the thought of his identity is in the back of his mind (often).
That doesn’t mean anything. And his head’s start to hurt.
“You good, dude?” Geto asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he looks down at Gojo from where he’s perched up on his bed, voice gentle and quiet and for some reason Gojo is able to hear it over the yelling coming out from his laptop from a random movie playing at full volume Geto wanted to watch with him.
“Huh? Sure.” Gojo’s voice is muffled, mouth stuffed with popcorn.
“Well…” Geto trails off, face still scrunched up as he looks over Gojo, recognizing the familiar way in which Gojo starts slightly squinting whenever he’s thinking hard about something and his head starts to hurt, “you don’t look okay, we can change the movie if you want, or turn it off–“
“I’m okay, dude,” Gojo says, visibly not okay, and gets up from where he’s sitting on the floor to slide under the covers of Geto’s bed, adjusting the laptop on his lap so they can both see clearly. “Now shut up, we’re gonna miss this part.”
Geto only seems to be half convinced, but he keeps quiet and turns his attention back to the movie, grabbing a handful of popcorn and settling closer to Gojo.
See, Geto is so sweet and caring, and he would never reject Gojo like that, so Gojo has nothing to worry about, really. Geto doesn’t have to know. He muches on his popcorn and sighs through his nose, leaning into Geto’s side and focusing on the movie and forgetting what he was worried about in the first place.
–
So, Gojo continues his day to day life as usual, waking Geto up every morning by throwing his entire weight onto Geto’s peaceful sleeping figure because he doesn’t wake up to an alarm like a normal person and listening to him grumble complaints as if his academic career doesn’t depend on Gojo forcing him out of sleep every day, thank you.
Gojo doesn’t really mind. Most of the time he’s more focused on the gorgeous planes of tan skin that are revealed when Geto pushes his blankets out of the way and he takes that as an apology so it’s whatever.
They get ready together, Gojo getting changed abnormally fast as his roommate uses the bathroom but he’s used to it by now so he thinks it’s just how Gojo is, really, so he never questions anything and then they part ways and go to their respective classes.
Everything is normal and Gojo doesn’t think about anything awful, like his best friend possibly hating him, and he goes back to their dorm as soon as he’s done because he knows Geto gets out later today.
All is well, he’s on his back on his bed, switch in hand, tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration as he plays when he hears his phone go off.
It’s a text from Geto saying he’s not coming home until later tonight because his friend has invited him out to drink and tomorrow’s a weekend and although it makes Gojo a bit miffy he types out a simple ‘have fun, dude.’ He receives another message and ignores it, going back to the game he was playing instead.
After losing almost instantly, he lets out a frustrated huff and throws his switch to the side, rolling over onto his stomach as he tries to think of ways to pass the time when his eyes land on the laptop peeking out of his bag and. Ah.
Smiling to himself, Gojo pulls out the laptop and onto his bed, adjusting to sit against the headboard and types out one of his favourite porn websites that always come in handy when killing time. Because what’s a better use of Geto’s absence than jerking off, right?
He sneaks his hand under his sweatpants as he scrolls, not really doing anything, just cupping himself through his underwear. He settles on a video of two buff dudes and presses play, kicking down his pants and shoving them onto the floor. He rubs over his folds slowly as the guys start to make out. One of them has long dark hair and grabs the other one by the jaw, angling his head to shove his tongue down his throat. Gojo is only starting to feel slightly aroused, licking his lips and focusing on the way Dark Hair pushes Other Guy onto the bed, forcing him to open his mouth and spitting into it. It makes Gojo hum, and he can feel himself getting wetter when he pauses the video, getting out of bed.
Now, Gojo enjoys his masculinity, enjoys his manly boxers and wife beaters and baggy T–shirts and straight jeans and whatever. He also enjoys other, more delicate items of clothing. Enjoys the aesthetic, the feel of the fabric under his fingers. Intricate lacey designs, smooth silk, simple soft cotton. He keeps the collection of panties in a box in the back of his closet, buried under bags and obscured by the items he keeps hanging. He pulls it out on special occasions, like right now, when Geto isn’t coming home any time soon and he’s feeling a bit fancy about masturbation.
Can you have a panty kink when you’re the one wearing them and you also have a pussy? He doesn’t know. But he knows that it heightens his arousal, makes him feel just a tad bit more desperate, gets him just a little extra wet.
He rummages for the box and opens it, staring for a minute and then deciding on one of his favourites, a small, black, pretty little lacy thing.
Gojo takes off his boxers, pulling the lacy underwear over his long legs and settling them comfortably on his hips. He smiles to himself, putting the box away and walking back over to his bed, sitting down on his knees with his thighs spread, presses play again.
Dark Hair is rubbing Other Guy through his boxers, and fuck, Gojo starts doing it too, rubbing down his folds through the lace, biting his lips to hold back a groan. He hums, swaying his hips a little, humping his own hand as Dark Hair gets his fingers on Other Guy and he can feel himself soak through his panties, imagining rough calloused fingers pulling his panties to the side and touching him directly, imagining a groan in his ear, strands of hair tickling the back of his neck.
When Dark Hair lubes up his fingers and has Other Guy’s bare ass in the air in front of him, Gojo shifts, laying down on his stomach and pushing his own hips up, his favourite position. He imitates Dark Hair’s moves, panties pushed to the side as he circles his middle finger around his wet, twitching hole, slipping the tip in and out, teasing himself. Dark Hair decides to finally show some mercy and pushes his entire finger in, Gojo doing the same to himself and his mouth goes slack. He shoves his face into a pillow and moans as he pumps the finger in and out of his hole, then moves his face to the side again to watch.
He takes the fingers out, shivering as he rubs his pussy with two fingers now, drool slipping past his lips and onto the pillow and he groans when he presses both fingers in. He tries to take a steadying breath and his thighs shake a little, panting as he starts to properly finger fuck himself now.
“Fuck,” he moans, rubbing his clit through the lace with his other hand, feeling the fabric thoroughly soak and he pushes his hips back to meet his own fingers.
He momentarily forgets about the video playing, closing his eyes and imagining his favourite warm brown eyes instead. He imagines Geto behind him, singing praises in his ear as he shoves his cock inside Gojo, imagines Geto pressing on his back to make him arch and pulls on his hair and smacks his ass and fuck.
“Fuck,” he hears, and it takes him a second to realize that that was not his voice.
“Fuck,” Gojo whispers, actually him this time and his heart drops to his stomach, or goes up, really, considering his current position but–
He’s trembling, not from pleasure but from absolute, pure fear because Geto is standing right there, in the doorway, and Gojo is fucking his own pussy in panties. How long has he been there for? How much did he see? What did he hea–
A loud moan goes off from his laptop and Gojo curses, slamming it shut and sitting up finally, pulling his shirt down to cover his crotch as Geto does absolutely nothing, just stands there with his mouth dumbly open and eyes wide. Well.
“Well,” Gojo says, sounding too casual for how nervous he actually is and rubs a hand down his face. “Look–“ he starts, having no idea what to say, “–i can explain–“
“You don’t have to explain anything!” His best friend interrupts, voice sounding scratchy. Gojo frowns and open his mouth but before he can say anything Geto is taking a step back, “I’ll, uh, I, I’m sorry? For interrupting?” He asks? And then the door slams shut and Gojo needs a minute to figure out what just happened.
He rubs at his eyes with his palms and grimaces, feeling the stickiness of his underwear as he shifts on the bed to get up. He groans, peeling off the panties and putting his boxers and sweatpants back on.
Well shit. Geto saw. He saw Gojo’s pussy. Gojo who is a boy and and Geto saw his vagina. But it can’t be that bad, right? Geto won’t say anything bad, right?
Gojo can’t explain why he feels overcome with dread, why his face pales and his hands get sweaty and shake and why he has to stop his teeth from chattering. He can’t explain this feeling of pure fear when he has never expected his friend to be anything but kind and accepting if he ever decided to come out.
So he pulls on his jacket and pockets his phone and leaves the room, ignoring Geto’s calls for him down the hallway and rushes down and out of the building.
He decides a walk will do him good. He stops by a vending machine to buy a chocolate bar and heads to a park near the college campus. It’s only a bit chilly and and the park is empty as expected on a Friday night. He lets the chocolate melt on his tongue, really savouring the sweetness, and closes his eyes and tries to relax. This wasn’t supposed to happen, fuck. He’s clueless, has no idea what he’s gonna say. What’s he even supposed to say to Geto? Hey, buddy, um, I’m actually transgender sorry I didn’t tell you all these five years? (Actually sounds pretty neat.)
He sighs, pulls out his phone. He sees the message Geto sent him an hour ago after he said he’ll be out for the night, sees that Geto told him he’ll pass by the dorms for a quick change of clothes. Fucking hell. Gojo closes his eyes, takes in a deep breath, and takes another bite from the chocolate bar. He’s so fucking stupid, he thinks. This could’ve been avoided easily. He also thinks it’s inevitable that Geto finds out some day.
He feels angry with himself, for reasons he can’t quite put into words. It’s just–
He feels bad about worrying, about being scared, about doubting his best friend. He needs to trust Geto with this, because he trusts the man with every single other thing in his life so why can’t he just– get over himself? Just take the leap and be fucking honest, for once?
He sighs again, throws the empty wrapper in a nearby trashcan, settles on a bench and puts his head in his hands and groans. Fuck this, he thinks.
His phone goes off and he pulls it out. It’s Geto. ‘When will you be home?’
Sweet, sweet Geto.
Gojo groans again, doesn’t reply. He puts his phone back in his pocket and stands up. Fuck this. He’s a man. He can handle this.
–
When he closes the door after himself he sheds off his shoes, takes off his jacket and throws it onto his bed, pretending not to see Geto sitting on the edge of his own bed staring at him seriously. Well. He can deal with this.
He takes in a deep breath and turns around finally, looking back at his friend.
“Hi,” he says, casually. He sits down.
“Hi, Satoru,” Geto replies, offering Gojo a small smile. He smiles back. Can’t help it.
He clears his throat, “Suguru,” he says seriously, “I– well, obviously,” he gestures vaguely with his hand, looks off to the side, “as you see, I’m not very cisgender.” What the fuck? Who says that? Anyway,
“I’ve been meaning to– nope, that’s a lie, i never actually wanted you to know. Ever. I’m sorry.”
He looks back at Geto, notices how his eyes look a little sad, “opinions?” He asks, scratching the back of his neck.
“Satoru?” He tilts his head.
“Hm?”
“I’m sorry.”
“What?” Gojo frowns, confused.
“I’m sorry you had to come out to me this way. And thank you, it must’ve been hard, right?” Geto’s voice is quiet and gentle, and he sounds genuinely apologetic.
“Oh.” Gojo lets out.
Oh.
This is Geto. Sweet, sweet Geto. Of course.
“Satoru?” His voice is a lot closer now, he can’t really see, his eyes are blurry. Geto’s hands are on his face and he’s wiping away his tears and oh, he’s crying.
“Suguru,” he tries to say but his voice comes out all wobbly and he sniffles, leaning into Geto’s touch and he feels soft lips pressed to his forehead and has to stop himself from crying harder.
Geto wraps his arms around Gojo and pulls him to his chest, rubbing a soothing hand across his back and running his other hand through the hairs on the back of Gojo’s head. He presses more soft kisses to his forehead and whispers praises into his ear.
“I’m so proud of you, Satoru. You did a good job, that must’ve been scary, hm?” Gojo nods and Geto kisses his skin, “so brave.”
–
When things settle after that Geto orders them a pizza and they cuddle on Gojo’s bed. They don’t really…talk about it. Gojo is more silent than usual and Geto tells him they can talk another time, so they opt for watching a movie instead.
Gojo, bless him, opens his laptop and immediately regrets it. There it is. The gay porn he was watching before this whole thing happened. He freezes, noticing the way Geto stills besides him for just a second before he huffs out a chuckle.
“I didn’t think you’d be into such vanilla sex, Satoru,” he says and Gojo scoffs, eyebrows raised in disbelief, “What–“
“Well, considering those–“ he gestures over to the black laced panties Gojo threw onto a chair in a hurry before he left, “–i just thought you’d be into something more kink–“
“You WHAT–“
“I mean I already knew you liked those, anyway…”
Gojo sputters, eyes wide open in shock and Geto worries they might fall out of their sockets for a second, before he also notices the way Gojo’s face turns bright red and smirks.
“How did you…” Gojo whispers, hiding his burning face in his hands and groans.
“Well, I noticed the way you’re always shoving something to the back of your closet and i got a little curious…” Geto looks away, suddenly looking shy, “I know I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry, but you know there’s nothing wrong with that i mean it’s actually kind of cute–“
He yelps as Gojo covers his mouth with both hands and his eyes curl up in amusement. He licks Gojo’s hand and Gojo pulls flinches back in disgust.
“Gross, dude, what the hell?”
Geto laughs, loud, “You’re so cute, ‘toru.”
“Shut up.”
“Will you show me?”
Gojo stills, looks back at Geto and expects him to laugh more and say kidding! but instead he’s met with hungry eyes and a suggestive smirk and he feels hot in his stomach.
“What?”
“Will you show me what you keep in there?”
Gojo gets up, shuffles over to the closet and takes out the damn box, bringing it over and throwing it onto the bed with a huff and a blush.
He sits, opens the box and pushes it over to Geto but doesn’t look up and Geto chuckles.
Gojo sees those large tan fingers run over the collection of panties, feeling the different fabrics, and well, Gojo relates to that fascination, but it’s still so, so embarrassing and he sighs in resignation.
Geto seems to be especially interested in one of the pairs and he takes it out, holding it up with both hands, humming as if he’s thinking really really hard and Gojo gulps, noticing how small the underwear looks in Geto’s hold. It’s another one he likes, baby blue, lacey, his favourite type, with a little satin bow in the front, on the thin waist band and Gojo can’t help but look up again.
Geto’s already staring at him, an evil, dangerous look in his eyes and he goes, “they match your eyes, Satoru, i like them,” and Gojo nearly scoffs before he goes, “put them on for me, please?”
Fucking hell.
Gojo wasn’t expecting this turn of events, but he nods and gets up on shaky legs, taking the panties and holding them between his front teeth as he pulls down and steps put of his pants and boxers, looking to the side shyly as he slides on the baby blue pair and almost shivers when he looks back at Geto and sees the look in his eyes.
“They’re so pretty on you, ‘toru, come here,” he manoeuvres to the edge of the bed and spreads his legs, pulling Gojo closer to stand in between them and looks up at him with a smile. He tugs on Gojo’s shirt, then places his hands on Gojo’s hips.
“Take this off for me?”
Gojo sighs, taking the shirt off and tossing it somewhere behind him and there’s a pretty pink blush spreading down his neck and chest already and Geto hums, pleased.
“So gorgeous, baby.”
Baby.
Gojo barely stops himself from whimpering and grabs onto Geto’s shoulders for support. He bites his lips, look down at himself then to Geto, “yeah?”
“Yeah.” Geto breathes, running his hands down the back of Gojo’s thighs and presses his face to his stomach, trailing his lips over the soft skin and Gojo moans.
“Suguru…”
“Hm?” Geto looks up at him with half lidded eyes and there's a blush high on his cheekbones, the pervert.
“I wanna kiss you?” Gojo mumbles in a small voice and Geto chuckles, nuzzling his stomach then looking back up at him, “Go ahead, baby.”
Gojo lets out a breath and leans down, eyes closed, and oh, fuck yeah. Geto tightens his grip on his waist and pulls him down onto his lap, not giving him a chance to adjust as he grabs him by the face and attacks his lips fiercely, moaning unapologetically into his mouth.
“Fuck, baby,” Geto pulls away and manhandles Gojo’s legs over his thighs, making Gojo straddle him and before Gojo can get a word out he pulls him back into another kiss, one of his hands running up and down his thigh and the other gripping his nape.
Gojo squirms on top of him, Geto’s rough touches making him arch his back and lean further into the other man. He parts his lips and Geto’s tongue is already on his before he can register it and he’s moaning, squeezing his thighs together and fuck, he can feel Geto under him. Can feel his hardness pressing against the mound of his pussy and he moans, pulling back for air.
“Fuck, Suguru,” but Suguru’s long gone, kissing over his jaw and dragging his tongue down his neck and Gojo rolls his hips, seeking friction, whining.
“I interrupted you earlier, didn’t i?” Geto says into his skin, biting it and making Gojo yelp, “you didn’t get to cum, hm?” He bites Gojo’s collarbone before lifting back up and giving him a short kiss on the lips. “Let me make it up to you?”
Fuck it, why not. Gojo nods and Geto smiles at him sweetly, pressing a kiss to his cheek and Gojo’s fucking gone.
He doesn’t remember how he got into this position but he’s sitting with his back pressed to Geto’s broad, naked chest on the bed, legs bent and spread wide open, clothed pussy facing the room. Geto groans against his ear as his fingers trail along the waistband of his panties, teasingly dipping underneath then back up. Fucking Geto.
“Suguruuu,” Gojo whines and the other man chuckles deeply, rubbing his mound over the panties in a soothing motion.
“I’ve got you, ‘toru, don’t worry, baby,” his voice is devilish and teasing but he presses one finger down his lips all the way to his cunt, making Gojo gasp, and chuckles.
“Mnmm,” Gojo’s eyes roll back as Geto gets two fingers above his clit and circles it through the lace, head falling back against the other man’s shoulder and Geto moans as if he’s the one being touched.
“You like how the panties feel, ‘toru?” He asks and Gojo nods, “uh huh.”
“Such a pervert,” but before Gojo can argue he rubs the tip of his clit just right and Gojo fucking squeakes , thighs trembling violently from how turned on he is.
Geto chuckles, moving his fingers down again towards his hole, pressing wet kisses to Gojo’s ear.
“Want me to touch you here, baby?” He asks in that disgustingly sweet voice and Gojo nods without really realizing it, too lost in pleasure to form any coherent words right now.
Geto hums, using two fingers to pull the panties up and to the side as he runs the thirds into and through his folds, rubbing up and down the wetness there.
“You’re soaked, ‘toru. Feeling good, hm?” But Geto sounds like he’s feeling even better and it makes Gojo’s chest flutter.
Geto circles his hole with a finger, gathering the wetness and spreading it all over Gojo’s pussy and up to his clit, using the tip of his finger to poke it, making Gojo shiver.
“Suguru, stop teasing,” he gets out and squirms in Geto’s hold, but the other man presses him down with a palm against his stomach.
“I can’t help it, baby, you’re so cute. Look at you,” he says in awe and rubs Gojo’s clit more firmly now, moaning to himself then dragging the finger back down to his hole, pressing in.
“Relax for me, baby, I can’t go in if you’re so tense,” and he presses soothing kisses to Gojo’s cheek and then to his mouth as he uses his middle finger to massage his hole slightly, and when the man relaxes he pushes in again.
“Ah–“ Gojo gasps against his lips and it feels so, so, good. Geto’s finger is a lot thicker than his own, and he feels full already as the other man penetrates him deeper.
“There you go. You’re doing so good, ‘toru.” Gojo keens and leans in for another sloppy kiss and it makes Geto moan against him, makes his finger falter in its rhythm.
“Fuck, Satoru,” Geto licks into his mouth, sucking on Gojo’s tongue as he curles his finger inside slightly and uses his other hand to run his clit and Gojo’s body spasms before he knows what’s going on.
He squeezes his legs together and moans loudly against Geto’s mouth and oh, it’s the best orgasm he’s had in a long while. His vision is blurry and his ears are ringing and he can’t think of anything for a minute but when he finally comes to he can feel Geto’s strong arms pressing him close against his chest and kissing his face and whispering praises in his ear.
“There you go, baby. You did so well. Fuck, ‘toru, you did so good.”
Gojo swallows and turns his head to the side, grabbing Geto’s face and pulling him into a deep kiss, moaning into his mouth.
And maybe this wasn’t such a bad coming out after all.