The Mysterious Case of the Petrification

by Insertaname

Summary:

The wizards are too dumb to solve the mystery behind the chamber of secrets themselves, so they reluctantly go to the muggles for help. Well not the muggles, a certain group of muggles, with a certain world's best detective.

Sent as a transfer student after being aged down by magic, and dragging his totally just a rival along with him, and his emotional support raccoon (of course), they go to investigate this mystery. Or just to cause shenanigans and get magical candy.

Safe to say Honeydukes has a new favorite customer.

Chapter 1: The New Case

Notes:

The characters belong to the original authors

Speaking of which I do not support jkr or her views, she sucks

Sorry if any of the characters are ooc

Ranpo only took on this job because Fukuzawa had asked him to, and maybe also that he had told him about all the cool candy they had over there. Yea no that was the only reason. But apparently Fukuzawa had an old friend he had met like once or twice a few years back from England and now they needed help solving some weird mystery in a school somewhere. Honestly Ranpo didn't really pay attention after he heard about the candy.

So that's how Ranpo ended up on a plane away from Yokohama. But that wasn't the reason he ended up on a private plane away from Yokohama.

Fukuzawa knew he couldn't have gone alone, I mean to Ranpo the trains were the most complex annoying thing and he just couldn't figure them out, so he normally gave up, and air travel, much the same. But this was still not how the private plane came into the story. Fukuzawa asked him to bring someone with him, so he wouldn't get stuck somewhere because busses were too complicated and couldn't find anyone around to give him a piggy ride back instead, so Ranpo had of course chosen to drag along his anti-social, racoon loving boyfriend, which is how the private plane got involved.

Edgar Allen Poe couldn’t do crowds, and of course was somehow really rich in an unspecified amount, so he couldn't deal with the people on a normal plane, and naturally had gotten them a private one instead.

Which led them to now, with Ranpo watching movies on the plane while eating his favorite snacks, and Poe writing some new book with his beloved pet on his shoulder.

The plane had only been in the air for about 10 minutes when Ranpo had of course needed to ask,

“Are we there yet?”

It was a 14 hour flight.

He did this continuously in those 10 minute intervals, constantly breaking Poe's concentration and had almost made the pilot want to crash the plane on multiple occasions. Until they were in fact there yet.

-

Now in London the two men and one raccoon took a taxi to where they were staying, which was apparently some old looking bar called the Leaky Cauldron. They were only staying there for a day, and then would head to the school they would be going undercover in.

They got their room and mostly stayed there, exhausted from the flight; neither of them did much besides resting.

The next morning they would be meeting with the headmaster of the school and be taken to the school. Ranpo and Poe were told by Fukuzawa before leaving that they were going to magically age down to 12 years olds in order to not bring too much attention, or as little attention as Ranpo could possibly manage, to solve the case. Fukuzawa knew the not standing out part would last a mere few seconds but it had been what the wizards insisted on so he didn’t mention it to said wizards.

When Ranpo had been informed of this job Fukuzawa had called him into his office. It had been a fairly normal day at the armed detective agency, Dazai slacking off, Kunikida trying to get him to work, Atsushi trying to help everyone, Yosano menacingly telling Kunikida that if he got hurt fighting Dazai she could take a look at his injury, the usual. So Ranpo had thought nothing of the president's request, I mean Fukuzawa was basically his dad at this point.

“Ranpo, do you know why I called you here?” He had asked

“Uh obviously, you have a job for me that you want me to do” Ranpo said, “its not boring is it, I don’t do boring jobs”

“No, I’m sure you will find this case quite interesting” Fukuzawa had said before handing over a file to Ranpo

“Is this a joke?” Ranpo said in all seriousness

“No, of course it is not”
“But magic, it shouldn't exist, it so illogical” Ranpo stated matter of factly

“Yet it does,”

“Whatever, seems fun, I’m in” Ranpo then said

“I knew you would agree, after all wizards do have magic candy along with their separate world”

“REALLY!!!” Ranpo said, even more on board now

“Yes, anyhow as you saw you will be going to a prominent wizard school, Hogwarts, to investigate the petrifications and solve the case” Fukuzawa said

Ranpo eagerly nodded, and of course hadn't super paid attention, though Fukuzawa knew he would figure it out fast, he always did, especially when candy was on the line. But that had been before they left, and now they were there in Britain. So they changed into clothes for the night and then went to bed to await the following day.

Notes:

For clarification, the ability users are not technically wizards but due to the abilities they can use magic

Thanks so much for reading!

Chapter 2: Bootleg Gandalf

It was the following morning and the day that Fukuzawa’s friend was going to pick them up to go to the school. Poe got dressed in his nice formal clothes, as was his usual, Karl in nothing, as he was a racoon, and Ranpo put on his clothes from yesterday. Fukuzawa had made the mistake of letting Ranpo pack his own luggage and so it was made up of only Ranpo’s favorite snacks.

Once they were ready for the day the two men and one racoon headed downstairs luggage in hand. Downstairs they dropped off the key to their room with the barkeeper and looked around to try and find who was there to get the three of them.

It only took a few seconds for Ranpo to pinpoint the man there to get them. He was an oddly dressed old man who practically screamed Gandalf rip off. He was standing by the door waiting for them. Ranpo walked over to him, dragging Poe and Karl with him, and stopped in front of the man.

“You look weird old guy” Ranpo said oh so eloquently

“That is not the first time I have heard that” Bootleg Gandalaf said

“I know!” Ranpo answered with a smile

“So, when will we be leaving?” Poe interjected

“Well soon I should hope,” replied offbrand Gandalf, “however we must first get some supplies for you two, for your stay at Hogwarts”

“Didn’t Fukuzawa say that you had already purchased our supplies for us?” Poe asked

“And that we did, yet we need to get you a supply we cannot get without you, your wand” knockoff Gandalf replied

“But we’re not wizards” Poe mentioned

“And yet you can use magic, as can all ability users like yourself,” not quite Gandalf said, “as well we need you to have them so that you two can blend in as students.”

“Hey old guy, what's your name?” Ranpo said after seemingly tuning out of the other parts of the conversation

“Why Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore of course” he said

“What a stupid name” Ranpo remarked
“Fukuzawa did say you were quite blunt” Dumbledore commented, “what might your names be?”

“I am the world's best detective Edogawa Ranpo!” Ranpo said

“And your friend?”

“Not friend, rival” Poe stated, “and my name is of course Edgar Allan Poe”

“Well then now that we are acquainted, we should head out or well miss out the feast at Hogwarts tonight” Dumbledore said

“What about our luggage?” Poe asked

“Yes of course” Dumbledore said as he waved his wand and made their luggage and made it go away with a poof

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY PRECIOUS SNACKS” Ranpo lamented as he saw his luggage disappear

“Don’t worry child it is only in my office at Hogwarts” Dumbledore reassured him

“I’m not a child, old man!” Ranpo said in annoyance

To that Dumbledore only chuckled as he led the three to the back of the Leaky Cauldron and the brick wall that led to Diagon Alley. He taped some bricks with his wand and the wall moved to reveal the bustling street of the shopping center.

As they walked Ranpo asked,

“So old guy, when are you gonna magic us younger?”

“Ranpo! You're not supposed to ask about that in public!” Poe told him anxiously

“My bad” Ranpo offhandedly said

“When we are back at the castle I will” Dumbledore answered him

He led them to a shop called Olivanders, the wand shop. When they entered the walls were lined with boxes of wands and the floor was also littered with said boxes. The whole store was dimly lit and after a few seconds Ranpo spotted Olivander, the shopowner, amongst the boxes. It was a wonder the man hadn’t tripped over the boxes and gotten injured by now. Or he had and magically healed, Ranpo couldn't tell and didn't care.

“Hello Dumbledore, how odd is it to see you here, your wand hasn't broken has it?” the man joked

“Oh no,” Dumbledore replied, “I’m here to get these two men a wand”

The two men in question were of course Poe, who was trying to get Karl to stop going through the wand boxes and chewing at them, and Ranpo who of course was eating candy from who knows where, honestly Dumbledore could have sworn that was the bag he had brung with him of his favorite muggle candy.

“So which one of you wants to go first?” the two were asked

“OH! OH! ME! ME! ME!” Ranpo excitedly said

After that Ranpo was measured for some reason and asked for his dominant hand. After that Olivader sat there for a bit in thought before going up to grab a wand from the top of one of his many shelves. When he came back with a wand he said,

“Try this one”

Ranpo tried the wand dramatically, but nothing happened. Not even bad magic, just nothing. He looked dejected after that.

“Don’t fret,” Olivander says, “the first wand is usually not the correct one, the wand does chose the wizard after all”

Ranpo tried wand after want, hell he'd even tried saying, “ACBRCADABRA!!!” but still nothing at all happened.

“How curious” Olivander noted, completely stumped

Ranpo ended up going through literally every single wand in the store, and they had been at it for a long time. In the meantime Poe was trying to not get Karl to climb up Dumbledore. Once he had gotten Karl back onto his shoulders he said,

“Ranpo perhaps if you attempt to use your ability, ultra deduction, you may be able to deduct which wand is meant to be yours”

“What a wonderful idea” Olivander said because at this point Ranpo had wholeheartedly stumped him, it was as if the boy had not a drop of magic in him

So Ranpo took his glasses out from his capelet and dramatically put them on and activated ultra deduction. Poe was giddy with excitement while he watched Ranpo use his ability, he always was whenever Ranpo did.

As soon as Ranpo put on the glasses he started to think, he knew exactly why the magic wasn't working, of course he did, just as the fog that had turned ability users’ abilities against them, it did not affect him because he wasn't an ability user. But he did not tell that to Poe, nor Dumbledore, Nor olivander, he literally just ended up picking the coolest wand he could find and said,

“I deduct it is this one!”

“How fitting, a dog wood wand with a phoenix feather core, befitting of someone as energetic as yourself” said Olivander

Poe clapped excitedly for his boyfriend.

“Your turn now Poe” Ranpo said

Poe walked over to Ovilander awkwardly with Karl. He got his measurements taken and asked his dominant hand, same as Ranpo, and Olivander went to find wands for him to try. Safe to say Poe took a lot shorter to find a wand than Ranpo did, and this time the wands actually responded to his attempts. He landed on a pine wand with a dragonheartstring core.

Once Poe got his wand Dumbledore paid for the two wands and led them out, thanking Olivander for his time.

‘How odd’ Olivander thought, ‘That was the first time no magic had responded at all to someone’

Elsewhere back with Ranpo, Poe, Karl, and Dumbledore, Dumbledore mentioned,

“It is common for our students to bring pets with them, I see you have one Poe, but Ranpo would you like one as well?”

“Nah too much work,” Ranpo stated

“Well then off to Hogwarts we go” said Dumbledore

He led them out of Diagon Alley and the Leaky Cauldron and to an alley. He then appareated all of them to his office in the school.

Notes:

I ended up looking up what different wands different people got to decide what Ranpo and Poe's wands would be so here the gist

Ranpo:
- dogwood usually is drawn to people who are energetic and mischievous
- phoenix feather the pickiest wands, I just thought that was funny

Poe:
- pine is drawn to more creative and mysterious people
- dragon heartstring is easiest to turn to the dark side and also flamboyant

I didn't really care about length so its unspecified lol

Thanks for reading!

Chapter 3: Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss

Apparition sucked. It was worse than trains in Ranpo’s opinion. Like who would want to travel while getting sick. When they got there Ranpo fell over, Poe and Karl seemed to be just fine, and his dearest Poe helped Ranpo up.

They had appeared into Dumbledore's office as promised and their bags were there as promised as well. Ranpo went to his bag to check his snacks and sighed with relief when he saw they were all there, grabbing some to eat at the moment.

“So now that we are back at Hogwarts I suppose I should age you down for the school year” Dumbledore said, “so do stay still as I cast the spell”

He made a movement with his wand and muttered the spell. The two men were turned into twelve year olds, shrinking as their height grew shorter and their clothes grew larger. They looked mostly the same other than the height and now their clothes were much too large.

“Well now your aged down we should sort you two into a house, normally students are sorted at the begging of year feast but as you are transferring shortly after the year started you will be sorted now,” Dumbledore said

He continued pointing to an ugly witch hat on his desk,

“This is the sorting hat, put it on and it will sort you into your house”

Suddenly the hat came to life, its wrinkles turning into its face. Ranpo put it on and his eyes shot open for a split second, seeming shocked for once that it was speaking into his head, his face returned to its normal state a split second after.

‘Edogawa Ranpo, world's best detective, you are smart no doubt but how could I sort you, after all you are no wizard’ the sorting hat started

‘Yea but I’m an ability user’ Ranpo replied

‘But you aren't

‘But I am’

‘Your thoughts clearly tell me otherwise’

‘Well if your so knowledgeable explain my ultra deduction to me, because that's clearly my ability’

‘Well I can see your thoughts, your just incredibly smart’

‘No, everyone else are just idiots’

It went on like this in Ranpos head for a while until the sorting hat relented and just gave up on how Ranpo had no magic and shouted,

“RAVENCLAW”

Ranpo took off the hat with a silly little grin on his face and handed it to Poe.

‘An writer huh, and a fascinating ability you have, yet so scared of other people’

Poe didn't really respond in the same way Ranpo had and mostly just let the sorting hat do it’s thing,

‘You could find a place in many houses, save for Grifffindor,’ the sorting hat continued, ‘your loyal, which would do you well in Hufflepuff, your cunning could bring you success in slytherin, and yet there is only one house that would truly be suited to you,’

Shortly after the hat yelled, “RAVENCLAW” for the second time, the two men boys looked at each other and smiled, happy to be kept together.

“Well I would expect no less from detectives like yourselves” Dumbledore said once the sorting had finished

“So uh, old guy, when are you gonna tell us about the case?” Ranpo said

Dumbledore chuckled at the question before saying,

“Recently in the school we've had a bit of a conundrum. Around the school petrifications have started to happen, similar to that of 50 years ago when it ended in a girls death, the staff at hogwarts and I want to prevent another death like that”

“Wow boss wasn’t lying when he said you guys were incompetent" Ranpo said

“My dear Ranpo need you be so blunt-” Poe interjected

“As of right now all we need from you is to integrate into the student body and investigate the case for us, however outside of us three, no one else knows why you two are really here, that includes the other staff members” Dumbledore said ignoring Poe's comment, “So we shall do that starting tonight, I shall introduce the two of you at the feast tonight and give you your schedules in the morning, do try to attempt school and act like you are actually students.”

“Meh only if I’m intrested” Ranpo said

Dumbledore seemed to find this amusing as well, Ranpo could tell he was hiding a lot of information behind his act. Dumbledore then said,

“While not a typical pet, as those tend to be owls, cats, or toads, a racoon, he can stay in your dorms whenever you go to class and elsewhere”

“Oh no,” Poe said his face starting to turn worried, “Karl never leaves my side, he worries me so whenever he does”

“In non-Poe speak he means he needs him to be with him or hell burst in to a blubbering hole of anxiety" Ranpo translated between his munches of chips

“Ah, I see, well if he does not interrupt others, I suppose he could stay with you” Dumbledore said

Poe seemed relieved and his facial expression went back to its normal state of probably scheming some sort of murder plot to try and stump Ranpo, or something.

Dumbledore then magiced their luggage once more, this time to their dorm in Ravenclaw, again to Ranpo's lament of his snacks disappearing before his eyes. Since they were transferring they would be getting a small dorm in Ravenclaw just for the two of them, which would also be convenient for their investigation.

“Well then, I suppose we should be off to the feast now” Dumbledore said, leading the way as he walked out of his office and down the stairs.

Poe and Ranpo finally started to get a glimpse of Hogwarts. It was enormous, I mean it was a castle so of course it was so. But at the same time it was still interesting to see such an enormous place from the inside with all its halls and stairs that moved and rooms and whatnot. And due to the size of the place it took all four of them a while before they had gotten to the doors of the great hall.

All the other students seemed to have gone in already and Dumbledore left and told them to wait until he introduced them before entering the great hall. So now Poe, Ranpo and Karl were all alone for the first time since the morning.

“Dumbldore seems as if he is hiding a lot from us” Poe mentioned

Ranpo nodded acknowledging or dismissing what the other had said. Ranpo almost said something back to Poe a little later but was then cut off by the Headmaster of the school introducing the two new transfer students who will be in Ravenclaw, and thus the two boys and one raccoon walked into the great hall.

Notes:

Is Ranpo just going to gaslight everyone to make it seem as if he has magic?

maybe~

Anyways thanks for reading!

Chapter 4: The Newcomers

Hermionie found it odd. It had only been a day or two since the attack on Mrs. Norris, yet here the headmaster was introducing two new transfers. She would bet on them somehow being involved in the whole chamber of secrets mess, but that was speculation for another time.

Shortly after the headmaster had arrived at the great hall, he stood to speak as if to give a speech like it was the beginning of the year.

“Dearest students,” he started, “I know that events as of recent have shaken us all up, and I assure you, us staff have it all under control, there is nothing to worry about”

That reassured many, but Hermione knew better, Harry and Ron also knew better by the looks on their faces.

Dumbledore continued, “On another better note, I am happy to announce that today we will be welcoming Hogwarts first two transfer students to join us here!”

This caused the whole great hall to erupt in murmuring. Not only had this never happened at Hogwarts before, it was partway through the school year. It was too suspicious for Hermionie to let up, but the rest of the student body didn't seem to think too much of it.

“The two students will be joining the second years in Ravenclaw, so without further adieu I introduce you to Edogawa Ranpo and Edgar Allen Poe!” Dumbledore finished

When he finished the doors to the great hall swung open and revealed two boys. As stated they were the same age as Hermionie was. They were odd, one was a shorter boy with black hair walking casually with his hands behind his head, the other a taller boy who seemed shy with his hair covering his eyes and a raccoon on his shoulders???

The shorter one looked around with wonder, just like everyone the first time they saw it, the other just seemed nervous. Everyone in the hall clapped, jumpscaring the taller one. Then the two made their way to the Ravenclaw table taking two empty seats. Shortly after the feast began.

“It’s odd don’t you think?” Hermionie asked her friends

“Whats odd?” Ron replied

“The new transfers, obviously, what else would I be speaking of?” She said

“I mean to be fair we did see a message of blood on the walls the other day” Harry mentioned between bites of food

“Yes but that makes it more odd” Hermionie said

“What are you trying to say, that one of them is the Heir of Slytherin?” Ron asked

“No, I’m only saying they are related to this somehow, they must be” she answered

Harry looked over to look at the two at the Ravenclaw table, the shorter one was happily eating and talking to the taller one, it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, it just seemed like any other student, but he had to agree the timing was odd. Perhaps later he could talk to them and try and figure that out, but for now there was dinner.

-

Draco was watching Potter, definitely not because he liked Potter, no no he was only gazing at Potter because they were enemies and rivals, yes definitely that. Moments later he was snapped out of his gazing by his friends in Slytherin.

“So what do you think of the new students Draco?” Pansy asked him

“I don’t really care, I mean they're just Ravenclaws, would've been a different story had they been in Gryffindor” He offhandedly said

He in truth was extremely curious about them. Of course they were both in his year, Ravenclaw or not, which intrigued him. But not only that, with the whole Chamber of Secrets debacle, the timing was odd, as if they were connected. He didn’t bother bringing this up to the other Slytherins though, I mean he was Draco Malfoy, what should it matter to him if there were two new transfers.

While he ate however he did look over to see the new transfers, as did seemingly a lot of the school, along with Potter and friends. They seemed mostly normal, save for the raccoon, which perplexed Draco, why did they have a racoon? He would probably try and figure out more about them at a later time but for now it shouldn’t have mattered to him, and so he went back to eating and talking with his friends like he normally did, pushing the transfers to the back of his mind.

-

Soon after Ranpo and Poe sat down the food appeared. Of course this hadn’t shocked Ranpo but it of course gave the already on edge Poe another jumpscare. Poe already got anxiety when Ranpo invited him to small events at the armed detective agency, now he was in a hall of hundreds of people, oh how Poe longed for his mansion in America again. The presence of Ranpo and Karl helped him but it still felt awful.

He picked at the food on his plate, giving Karl some to eat as well, next to him Ranpo tore through the food on his. Poe hoped it wouldn’t be like this all the time, though he knew it probably would. Across from them there was another girl, no one seemed to talk to her as if they avoided her. She turned to Poe,

“Is that a raccoon? He's very cute, is it a he? May I pet him?” The girl asked

Poe noted her wavy blonde hair and wide eyes but didn’t know how to respond, he was awful with social situations, they scared him. The girl waited for him to respond, which took a while, until he finally spoke,

“This is um uh Karl, he is a raccoon-” he stuttered out

“May I pet him?” she asked again

Poe took a bit before he responded, so long that Karl just hopped off his shoulders and across the table to her to let her pet him. She started to pet Karl.

‘How ever could Karl betray me?’ Poe lamented dramatically in his head, although he did feel a bit better about the girl. If Karl liked her then he felt more at ease, everyone else still bothered him though.

The girl stopped petting Karl and let him walk back to his owner, that being Poe. Ranpo of course found the whole interaction amusing,

“Oh I should probably introduce myself, you're supposed to do that when you meet new people, I’m Luna, Luna Lovegood, not Looney, some people think that, but it’s Luna”

“I’m Edgar Allen Poe” He managed to say in response

“And I'm Edogawa Ranpo, world's best detective!” Interjected Ranpo proving Fukuzawa’s the covers gonna only last a few seconds theory

“Oh a detective, how fun!” Luna responded, “Are you also a detective Edgar?”

“No he's a mystery writer” Ranpo said

They continued to talk to Luna for the rest of the meal and on the way back to the Ravenclaw common room, she had shown them the way there. Ranpo seemed to like her, so did Karl, so Poe seemed more comfortable around her. She had mentioned some magazine called the Quibbler, that was how Ranpo got a subscription to a wizarding magazine.

They finally got to the room the two of them shared together, to Ranpo's relief again as he saw his luggage again. The two got changed for the night again, Poe got into his bed for the night only for Ranpo to ignore his own bed and flop onto Poe’s next to him, He snuggled next to Poe and fell asleep shortly after.

Notes:

Ranpo as he enters the great hall: Leave me alone I’m doing my standard anime elbows up pose

Thanks a lot for reading!

Chapter 5: The Crime Scene

The next day as promised they were given their schedules by the head of Ravenclaw, Professor Flitwick. Although they were told that since they came late there was no more room in the classes with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, so they would be taking classes with the Slytherin and Gryffindor students.

Ranpo hated school. He was smarter than everyone there, as always, and he could easily figure out everything. But that was for normal school, this was magic school. He was still smarter than everyone, of course, but this time it was different. Yeah he knew that he had always been different than everyone else, that fact had shaped his life up to now, and of course this was no different. Well it was but that was only because now he was the one at a disadvantage. It wasn’t that different from being the only one without an ability (not that he would ever admit he didn’t have one), but now rather than only a few people having abilities, but everyone here had magic.

The teachers at the school did not make it any easier. Well some of them were neutral in Ranpos eyes, but there were definitely a great amount of them that made the annoyance of school even more annoying.

Minerva Mcgonagall was strict, he hated that, though she did seem rather like Kunikida with all his ideals and wants for productivity, though Kunikida was a lot more animated than she was. Even so, ideals and rules weren’t to Ranpo's liking, and he just knew this class was going to give him the most trouble, on the academics side of things at least.

Severus Snape didn’t pay Ranpo and Poe too much attention, I mean elsewhere in their class he had the Griffindors to hate and Slytherins to love, there wasn't much room for the neutral party of Ravenclaw in his brain, so Ranpo didn’t really care about him too much.

Filius Flitwick was one of the teachers Ranpo felt neutral on, compared to the rest he just seemed like a normal enthusiastic teacher, and as the head of Ravenclaw he seemed to favor them two, at least in their first class, but Ranpo predicted that would stay the same throughout the year.

Cuthbert Binns, Ranpo didn’t have many thoughts on him, how could he, after all like most of his classmates he had fallen asleep rather quickly in his first class with him.

Pomona Sprout was nice, but Ranpo hated gardening, magic or no. Of course if he were here Kenji would've loved this class, same with care of magical creatures (though that was third years and above and Ranpo was glad). Sprout even reminded him of Kenji a bit, minus the superstrength, but a kind person with plants, they would've gotten along great but as was obvious, Ranpo was not Kenji.

And Gildoroy Lockheart, don't get Ranpo started on him. He was so clearly a phoney, he was genuinely shocked that even with other people being dumb they still didn't see it. I mean his only redeeming quality was his skill at writing, but even the narcissistic words with obvious plots he published made Ranpo appreciate his boyfriend's works even more, after all even the wizarding world's best selling author could never rival Poe’s work.

After just the first day of his classes he had the strong urge to skip, but Fukuzawa had insisted on blending in to catch the person responsible, so much so he promised Ranpo more treats and praise if he actually tried to do the school part, so he was stuck there, well at least until class ended.

-

Ranpo and Poe stood at the scene of the crime, of course the petrification victim, a cat he was told, had been removed. Watching over the scene was a man, Ranpo deduced that this was the owner of the cat and the school's caretaker. As Ranpo looked over the crime scene the man walked up to him and asked,

“What are you doing here, come to ogle at where my dear cat was petrified?” he said

“Yep!” Ranpo said cheerfully

The man seemed to dislike that greatly. Poe wanting to come to his dearest Ranpos defense said,

“He only means we're here to try and help, afterall if my dearest Karl were to ever get petrified I wouldn't know what to do,”

Then he picked up Karl off his shoulders and held him in front of his face and said,

“Don’t ever get petrified, I wouldn’t be able to survive without you, it would worry me so,”

Then he turned back to the man and asked,

“Anyways who might you be?”

“The caretaker of Hogwarts, Argus Filch" he spat out as if the position had done him a personal wrong

Ranpo then burst out laughing as he noticed the magic cleaner labeled, Mrs. Shower’s All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover.

“What’s so funny?” Filch sharply asked

“Your cleaner, I mean why are you trying to use a remover for a magical mess on just chicken blood?”

“Just chicken blood?” Filch asked

“Yea I though it would've been obvious the message is chicken blood, I mean look at it”

“It looks like blood, I can’t see a difference” Filch shot back

“Right right sorry, I forgot other people are idiots” Ranpo said

“IDIOT??!!!” Filch cried

“Please don’t mind him” Poe said to Ranpos defense again, “he doesn't mean it rudely, to him it's simply a fact, just like any other"

“No matter, that deems you two worthy of detention for rudeness”

“But-” Poe started

“If I tell you what cleaner gets chicken blood off walls would you let us off the hook~” Ranpo said

Filch contemplated that for a moment before agreeing, I mean if it would cost him less time cleaning he would be willing to let the kid off the hook this one time.

Then Ranpo went into a 10 minute long spiel about muggle cleaning products, he definitely wasn't reciting an old infomercial he had seen once, definitely not. Anyhow Filch seemed oddly excited about the wide range of muggle cleaning products on the market, avidly taking notes on everything Ranpo recited to him. Although he lamented the loss of not being able to use an army of roombas around hogwarts to clean the floors (he mentally cursed the fact that magic made technology malfunction as he lamented them), he at least now could cut his cleaning time in half if the boy’s infomercial like speech was worth anything.

Ranpo then finished and then left the crime scene dragging Poe with him, the victim was gone so there wasn't much else to figure out there and no need to use ultra deduction.

Notes:

completely unrelated to the chapter but for future context (not that it will be very relevant lol) I like to think Karl is also named after an author (Karl Marx of course)

Thanks a ton for reading!

Chapter 6: Attempts at Friendship

It had been a day since the new students arrived. Harry was a little shocked they were taking classes not with the Ravenclaws but rather with them, but it wasn’t like the second years had different curriculums based on the house they were in. But he had to admit it made it way more convenient for him and his friends to try and get closer to the two, because as Hermione brought up, the timing was extremely suspicious.

He sighed as the school day came to a close, it felt like every day was a drag but at least he had his friends. The good news was that there was a quidditch game coming up soon, that always did cheered him up.

He offhandedly played with his hair, it always felt like it was too short to him but whenever he tried to grow it longer the Dursleys would cut it too short, and yeah it magically grew back but never to the length it should be, as if to protect him from getting it cut again. He sighed again.

“Mate you doing okay?” Ron asked when he saw his friend looking down

“I’m fine” he answered automatically

“If you say so” Ron said skeptically

He got up off the ledge he was sitting on in the hallway and motioned to his two friends and said,

“I think it's time we try and find the new kids,”

“I agree, we should get closer to them, it may help us figure out the chamber” Hermionie agreed

The three of them walked down the hallway away from the place they had been sitting. The two transfer students had seemingly disappeared after their last class, so they didn't really know where to start looking, so they ended up just wandering in search of them.

They ended up where the Mrs. Norris incident had happened, except now it had been mostly cleaned up, even the blood message on the wall was gone now. No one was around now, not even Filch, so they continued to wander.

Eventually they did run into the two of them, after a while of searching, the taller one with the raccoon was sitting and writing something in a notebook while the shorter one was slumped on top of him eating some sort of candy while talking to the other about something.

The three of them approached, when the two noticed them, the shorter one lifted his head off the other's shoulder and turned in their direction.

Once they were next to the transfers the shorter one said,

“Took you three long enough,”

“Excuse me?” Harry said

“Oh I thought it was obvious, you guys so clearly wanted to talk with us, were you trying to be secretive?”

“You’re quite perceptive” Hermionie said

“Again, I’m only noting the obvious” he grumbled as if he often got remarks like that

The raccoon on the other kid's shoulders moved and walked over to the shorter ones shoulders, then the taller one looked up from his writing as if he'd only just noticed there were other people there.

“I’m Harry Potter” he said

“Yea I know, again its obvious” the boy said bored

“That’s not what im getting at-” Harry replied

“He’s introducing himself” Ron butted in

“Well I can see that” the boy responded as if he really wanted them to get to the point

“Well then you should see that we're trying to ask to hang out with you guys!” Ron replied frustrated

“Hang out? With us?” the taller one said as if that was scarier than the worst horror story

“You guys wanna know why we're here right? Oh also, no we didn't cause the petrification that’s a stupid illogical idea” the boy said

“We not thinking that-” Ron said

“Uh yeah you were, suspicion is practically written all over you”

“That’s not the point, nor is that a prevalent theory anymore” Hermionie said, “Again as Ron said we simply want to become friends”

“I mean I’m good at chess, if you want to play that some time?” Ron tried

“Meh, chess is a Dazai thing” the boy said

“A Dazai thing?” Harry asked

“He’s a friend back home” the boy said

While the conversation happened the other boy continued writing with his quill in his book, again seemingly oblivious to the rest of them. Ron, dejected at his failed attempt to make a friend, just ended up watching the boy write.

“I could help you study?” Hermionie offered

“But I dont wanna do school, its too easy” he whined

Hermione didn't know how to respond to that so she ended up just like Ron, watching the other boys writing.

“I could give you recommendations of candy from around here?” Harry tried cautiously

Apparently that had worked because the boy's eyes snapped open and he looked towards Harry.

“So you wanted to be friends?” he asked seriously

“Yeah” Harry said

The boy then smiled widely and said,

“I’m Edogawa Ranpo, the world's best detective, this is my boyfriend Poe and his racoon Karl”

“Boyfriend and rival” mumbled Poe who then finished writing and without looking towards them handed Edogawa the book he had been writing in as if he was trying to avoid joining further into the conversation. Edogawa tucked the book into his robes as if he was expecting him to give his work to him.

“As I said before, I'm Harry,” Harry started

“And I’m his best friend Ron Weasley" Ron continued

“I’m Hermione Granger” Hermionie concluded

Then the Edogawa Ranpo stood up and started walking away waving and saying,

“Well, see you around” as he went

Then Poe and Karl followed him down the hallway leaving the three of them standing there alone again.

Notes:

And thus our sets of main characters finally meet,

Thanks for reading!!!