Work Text:
If I'm in your heart, If I really am in your heart
Wherever you are, I will follow you
Even if we're living, caught up by work
And can't see each other often
When we fall asleep drunk on one another
Don't hesitate inside your dreams,
And lean on me
We're enduring it well
So just muster up a little more strength
Even if you wake from your dreams
If I'm really in your heart
Wherever you are, I’ll be there, yeah
- Vernon, Lean on Me (2016)
Seungkwan is late for vocal practice.
For once, it's not his fault – he had tried to leave on time, before making the mistake of checking in on his boyfriend-slash-new flatmate.
Hansol had decided to stay over at Seungkwan's place temporarily while Jeonghan was away. Although a convenient arrangement for both parties involved, this decision was certainly not in the best interests of the vocal unit members.
It all starts on the first day of their cohabitation: as Seungkwan is set to leave for practice, Hansol is seated comfortably in a rolly chair, intently staring at some English words on his laptop screen that Seungkwan is too tired to read.
Seungkwan promptly wraps his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders from behind– a gesture that means more, “Give me attention before I have to leave,” than, “I wanted to see what you were up to.” – a gesture Hansol doesn’t need explanation for, given his expertise in the long list of Seungkwan’s love languages.
Seungkwan’s arms loosely lock around Hansol’s neck as he rests his forehead on the younger's shoulder. He takes in a sniff of Hansol’s scent and slumps into him completely– a stolen hug in preparation for the long day ahead. “Bye, I'm leaving for practice,” Seungkwan says, voice still drowsy from being only half-awake.
Hansol’s right hand instinctively moves from the mouse to Seungkwan’s, holding him in place. He knows Seungkwan hated leaving him when it was so tempting to simply curl into Hansol and forget the rest of the world. But both of them are too passionate about their line of work to give in to that temptation.
Every member is stressed with the responsibility of making this comeback a success, and each of them de-stresses in their own ways. But Seungkwan often wears himself thin, to the brink of exhaustion, until it takes a major toll on his health to the point where everyone worries for him.
Hansol has noticed the way Seungkwan forces a smile during morning rehearsals, coffee cup (with four shots of espresso) in hand; the way he power-naps between schedules and fixes his gaunt eyes with makeup; how he stifles a yawn while taking on yet another schedule during an already packed day, and yet– he can tell that Seungkwan is genuinely excited to be (temporarily) living with him, even if he doesn’t get to express it.
Which is why Hansol–being the good boyfriend he is–had decided to take matters into his own hands, and tried to ease Seungkwan’s life as best he could: by trusting studies and facts on stress management. (“What a nerd,” Seungkwan would’ve said.)
He came across the usual, common remedies:
“Participate in a physical activity with your partner.”
Nope. Their schedules would never match, and they can’t risk being caught on a romantic jog or walk together. He mentally filtered out all the suggestions that wouldn't suit an idol’s lifestyle and continued scrolling.
“Cook or bake with your partner.”
Another strong no from Hansol– for the sake of himself, Seungkwan, and the apartment (which, by the way, belonged to Jeonghan). Aside from their disturbingly poor kitchen skills, attempting this might only raise Seungkwan’s stress levels, considering the time it would take to prepare ingredients, follow a recipe, and end up with a sink full of dirty dishes.
He reminded himself to get takeout instead– or ask his mom to prepare some of the Korean-American fusion dishes Seungkwan had grown to love– and kept scrolling. He needed something unique. Something only he could pull off-
Bingo.
Under the “Spend time with your partner” section, he found a study that claimed, “Couples who share a six-second kiss daily have lower stress hormones.”
Hmm. Kissing for six seconds. Interesting.
That seemed doable. Wouldn’t set the apartment on fire. And it could work even amidst their crazy schedules.
Checked all of Hansol’s boxes.
The only problem was keeping track of time. How was he supposed to know when the six-second mark was up? This was serious—what if he under-kissed Seungkwan and the plan wasn’t effective? We can’t have that.
So, when Seungkwan begins to pull away from the embrace, Hansol is quick to rise from his chair and grab Seungkwan’s wrist before he moves too far.
Time to test the theory.
“Wait,” is all Hansol can manage before realizing he’s pulled Seungkwan flush against him, causing Seungkwan to place a palm on his chest and create a little distance between them.
Seungkwan’s eyes shift back and forth between Hansol’s own and the places their bodies make contact, his breath hitching and brain running haywire. It is certainly too early in the morning for this–Seungkwan is barely awake, and there’s no caffeine in his system yet.
Hansol lets go of Seungkwan’s wrist and threads his digits between Seungkwan’s slender ones, the older quickly clasping them together like clockwork. His gaze finally lands on Hansol's dark eyes, which are laser-focused on his lips.
Seungkwan, clearly having gotten the hint, tilts his chin upwards and presses his lips onto Hansol’s briefly. He pulls away before Hansol can even react, having assumed it to be a quick goodbye peck.
Much to Seungkwan's surprise, Hansol takes his right cheek into his free hand and dives back in to reconnect their lips, stirring up a swarm of butterflies low in Seungkwan's gut. His free hand springs upward, digging into the muscles in Hansol's upper arm to steady himself. Their interlocked hands tighten by a thread, and lips move more desperately against each other's by the second—
Speaking of seconds, Hansol has completely lost count. Brain too fuzzy for any coherent thoughts, he had forgotten even to start counting.
Under-kissing Seungkwan is going to be the least of his problems, he realizes.
Hansol pulls away from Seungkwan’s lips first, foreheads touching, noses brushing, chests heaving, breath mingling, and eyes remaining closed in pleasure. They're so close that Seungkwan can feel Hansol's pretty eyelashes fluttering against his skin, and he wishes for time to stretch forever if it meant sharing more of these moments with Hansol.
Hansol, on the other hand, can only think, “It has most definitely been over six seconds.” This wasn't the plan.
In Hansol's defense, it’s been a while since they’ve spent any time in private–he had wanted to devote all his free time focusing on Seungkwan during his stay, but work kept them at an arm’s distance anyway, not too far apart but not close enough for Hansol’s preference.
Though Hansol's willpower has been finely honed over the years, it’s still vulnerable to crumbling at the mere touch of Seungkwan’s lips on his. Given the opportunity to make Seungkwan feel the same, he doesn't hold back.
With Hansol’s thumb absentmindedly stroking along his jaw and cheek, Seungkwan finds himself basking in the touch, his lips curving upward on reflex. His eyelids flutter open but stay low, gaze fixed at their joined hands beside their hips.
“What was that for?” Seungkwan voices out, dazed and barely above a whisper, as if any sound a decibel louder could shatter their little bubble.
Hansol’s smile mirrors Seungkwan's when he answers softly, “Just…wanted to make your day a bit better.” He raises his head to take a good look at Seungkwan's face. “Did it work?”
Seungkwan pretends to think for a moment, "I think it's working...” he pauses, hand detaching from Hansol’s hold, only to loop around Hansol's neck, “We should keep going, though”, he finishes, cheekily. Hansol senses the playfulness in his tone, but he's not strong enough to hold back from the suggestion.
Hansol side-eyes the clock, unable to ignore the time ticking by. His mouth says, “Aren't you gonna be late for practice?” but his limbs betray him by revealing his true desire– arm gripping Seungkwan by the hip, and feet moving forwards, backing Seungkwan into the wall.
“That– seems like a problem for Future Seungkwan.” Seungkwan’s palm moves higher and higher until it winds into the tiny strands at the base of Hansol’s neck, and with each step Hansol takes forward, Seungkwan takes one backward.
Seungkwan braces himself for the impact of hitting the wall, but the back of his head is cushioned safely by the palm of Hansol's other hand. Hansol grins, shaking his head at the older’s words. “You brought this upon yourself,” is the last thing Hansol says, as his lips close in on Seungkwan's.
So maybe it was Seungkwan’s fault, after all.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The first time didn't go according to plan, Hansol recalls.
But what are trials for, if not to identify and fix errors? Error may be a strong word to use considering the lack of resistance from either side, but if they keep losing track of time like this, they might as well be buying a one-way ticket to pissing off the members on a bad day.
Well, that, and Hansol values punctuality.
Which is why, the next morning, he's back in the same spot where Seungkwan left him, trying to convert his brain into a timer set exactly for six seconds.
If only he could master the art of counting to six and discipline his body to pull away by the end of it, he solemnly swears to use this newfound power every single day, until Seungkwan forgets what stress feels like. (Definitely not to entertain any selfish desires of his own.)
Well–stress doesn't work that way, but at least it could come in handy when he has to distract Seungkwan from the countless thoughts swirling in his head, especially the ones he has no control over. Even if it means Seungkwan smiles for a split second, rests his head on Hansol's shoulder for a brief moment, or clasps their hands together and lets go hastily when he notices the cameras on them– it's enough for Hansol to make that effort.
The clock strikes 8:56, and Seungkwan walks (almost skips) into Hansol's room, particularly chipper this morning. The reason behind his joy could be the 8 hours of proper sleep after ages– six of them spent snuggling into Hansol’s side, the other two hugging his back– or the steamy shower they shared 30 minutes ago, but we'll never know, since Hansol doesn't like to toot his own horn.
Recalling events from the shower sends blood rushing to his face, so Hansol quickly stands up, begging his mind to focus on the matter at hand. He unplugs all of his music and recording equipment, sliding his MacBook and headphones into a shoulder bag. Wordlessly, he glances (stares) at Seungkwan– who is fixing a messy spot on his bed, pulling on the bedspread until it's prim and proper, humming a melody Hansol doesn't recognise.
Usually, Seungkwan nags Hansol to make his bed every morning, but today he doesn't seem so troubled, even going as far as making the bed himself. Once satisfied, he moves over to where Hansol stands, his hand already reaching out to stroke Hansol's ear. “Ready to go?” Seungkwan chirps, enjoying the way Hansol leans into his touch, the gesture all too familiar.
Hansol makes a non-committal noise, and a look of confusion furrows Seungkwan’s brows, chocolate brown eyes staring up at him. As he waits for Hansol to clarify, Seungkwan uses the same hand to fix a few stray strands from the younger’s freshly-washed, brunette mop of hair, ultimately putting them in closer proximity than necessary.
Hansol doesn't explain, but snakes an arm around Seungkwan's waist, taking full advantage of their closeness. Seungkwan catches on quickly, his lips pulled into a slight smirk. “What, the shower wasn't enough?”
Hansol smiles into Seungkwan’s mouth as a reply, shutting him up with a press of his lips onto Seungkwan's soft ones. Seungkwan’s hand buries itself into the strands of hair he just fixed, the pair tilting their heads and widening their lips to deepen the kiss. Seungkwan’s soft lips lap over his, each movement sending his heart racing into a frenzy. This time, Hansol tries his best not to get carried away and starts the count in his head.
One… Two… Three…
It proves hard to keep the count up while the feeling of Seungkwan’s lips on his does inexplicable things to his body– certainly doesn't help when his brain fogs up with the vivid memory of Seungkwan trapped between him and the shower wall mere minutes ago–kissing Hansol slow and sloppy, breathing heavy and ragged once they pull away.
Hansol wasted no time kissing his way down Seungkwan’s jaw and neck, slightly licking and sucking on the pale skin on his throat, at his Adam's apple, and above his collarbone. Head thrown back, Seungkwan let his dainty hands roam all over his shoulders and spine, while one of Hansol's palms pressed against the wall for support and the other inched dangerously close to Seungkwan’s ass. Seungkwan drew a sharp breath as he felt Hansol’s teeth grazing at the junction of his neck and shoulder—
And then he pushed Hansol away.
“No marks, Sollie. Did you forget?” Seungkwan reminded him, trying not to sound on edge. Hansol, who knew he was on the verge of freaking out anyway, nodded slightly, voice low. “Right. Sorry.” Seungkwan dropped a wet kiss on his cheek (meaning “It's okay.”) before rushing to the bathroom mirror, thoroughly examining the state of his neck.
“It's not too noticeable…right?” Seungkwan asked, doubtful. Hansol dragged him back into the shower with a gentle tug, pressing a light kiss onto Seungkwan's temple. “It's not,” Hansol reassured him. “Let's just shower, yeah?”
Four… Fi–
Seungkwan harshly tugs at his locks, causing his brain to lose its remaining thread of sanity and break the kiss. Seungkwan seems to notice that something is off, “What is it? You seem a little distracted.” Hansol, whose lips had stopped matching Seungkwan’s vigor a few seconds into counting, is just glad he didn't lose count. “Sorry, I was– couldn't help but think of this…” he confesses, finger rubbing over the spot on Seungkwan's skin, blooming a slight red under his touch. Hansol wants nothing more than to darken it.
Seungkwan pulls Hansol's fingers away, “Don't,” he warns, as if he can read Hansol's mind. He knows exactly where it would lead them, and his problem with it–aside from being late for practice– is that he's really not in the mood to reapply his concealer or change into a turtleneck in 35° weather. “Let's go,” Seungkwan beckons at him, ‘ before we do anything stupid, like skipping practice to finish this’ hangs in the air, much like the tension between them.
They leave hand in hand for the group practice session, and if anyone notices the mark on Seungkwan's skin, they don't bring it up.
So the second try ends in failure as well.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
The next day, Hansol is determined to get it just right-- No more trials, no more relying on his stupid head to act like a timer. What if he just used an actual timer instead? Genius.
Trying not to make it too obvious, he sets a six-second timer on his smartwatch, planning to feel the vibration when time’s up. And just like that, he is back at the workstation near his bed, waiting for Seungkwan to saunter in as he works on music.
This time, Seungkwan simply makes his way into the room and plops down on Hansol's lap, back facing him. He turns sideways to face Hansol, asking, “Can I see what you're working on?”
Hansol shakes his head vehemently. Usually, he would give in after a few minutes, but with this song, he really hasn't made enough progress to be proud of it. He knows Seungkwan would still think it's the greatest thing he's ever heard, but it really needs more work before anyone can hear it. Also, he's just been spacing out, thinking about the six-second kisses, so it isn't anything yet.
Seungkwan doesn't take it to heart. “Okay then, can I be the first to hear it once you're done?” Seungkwan asks, expectedly. “Of course you can,” Hansol offers a small smile, pressing his lips into a thin line. An endearing smile creeps up on Seungkwan’s face as well, and he fully turns towards Hansol’s face on his lap, palms enclosing both sides of Hansol's neck as he leans in for a sweet peck.
“Bye. I’m off to practice. Love you.” Seungkwan punctuates each sentence with a tiny kiss, hovering above his lips after the last one. Hansol can just let Seungkwan go after this, but an extra six seconds won't hurt, right? He slides one palm over Seungkwan's cheek and pulls him into another kiss, except his lips are slightly open and instantly capture Seungkwan's lower lip between his own.
Hansol’s arms loop around Seungkwan's waist, and he cracks an eye open to make sure Seungkwan doesn't catch him before he taps on the smartwatch screen to start the timer. However, he doesn't pay attention to the way Seungkwan's ears pick up the small ‘click’ sound, or how Hansol’s hands land on him right after the sound. Seungkwan brushes it off and continues to kiss Hansol, until he feels something vibrate against the skin of his back–it’s coming from Hansol's watch.
It keeps buzzing until Hansol removes his hands from Seungkwan's back to stop it, and he also chooses that exact moment to pull away from the kiss. “What was that?” Seungkwan questions, noticing something off since the start of the kiss.
Now that Seungkwan thinks of it, yesterday's goodbye kiss was kinda weird too. Even the day before– Hansol's normally not this eager to kiss Seungkwan, especially when they get to spend a lot of time together (Seungkwan internally thanks Jeonghan for this). Rather, he’s the type to prefer curling up on the couch with a good movie, or taking Seungkwan to a new restaurant he’s been meaning to try.
He does kiss Seungkwan often, but it's normally less initiated by Hansol. Seungkwan considers it to be special whenever he does, but the events of this week throw Seungkwan for a loop, as he drowns in these kisses Hansol has been offering him so generously. There has to be a reason behind it.
Seungkwan considers the change in their living situation, but Hansol's not the type to alter his behaviour simply based on their proximity. Is this how Hansol would act if they lived together every day?– Now that's a topic for Seungkwan to ponder later. Maybe he's just overthinking, and Hansol’s just being a good boyfriend. But Hansol has always been a good boyfriend, and something just doesn't sit right with him.
“It’s nothing important, don't worry about it,” Hansol plays it off, but Seungkwan doesn't let him off so easily. He grabs Hansol's arm to check his smartwatch (boyfriend privileges), only to find a timer flashing “00:00:00”. Seungkwan, audibly confused, goes, “Huh? Why do you have a timer ?”
Uh oh . Hansol, internally celebrating his victory, has failed to consider the possibility of actually being caught by Seungkwan–how’s he going to explain all this? He tries to structure the thoughts in his head, brows furrowing and lips pursed in silence.
“Okay, don't get mad,” he starts, eyes refusing to meet Seungkwan’s. “But I noticed you've been stressed about the comeback, so I… wanted to make you feel better…”
“And? Why would you need a timer for that?” Seungkwan interjects, still confused.
“Well, there's this study that claims stress levels decrease when couples kiss for six seconds a day.”
Seungkwan stays silent, his brows raised slightly in question. Hansol takes it as a cue to keep talking.
“Uhh, so I was just trying to get the exact time right, in case we don't get much time like this. In the future.”
Seungkwan remains silent, his expression unreadable.
And then he breaks into a fit of laughter, so loud it almost makes Hansol flinch.
Well, that was not the reaction he was expecting.
Within seconds, Seungkwan is laughing so hard he slides off Hansol’s lap and onto the floor, one hand on the younger’s knee to support himself. Seungkwan’s infectious laugh induces Hansol to laugh lightheartedly, his heart-shaped smile in full display.
“Seungkwan~” Hansol drags out the last vowel of his name, whining at the way the older laughs uncontrollably. He covers his face with both palms to hide the way his cheeks flush red in embarrassment. “C’mon, stop laughing~” he throws in for good measure.
Once the laughter dies down, Seungkwan, now kneeling before Hansol, reaches out to his face, prying his hands away. He coos at the sight of Vernon’s cheeks blooming beet red, the color creeping up to his ears. So endeared, Seungkwan revels in it by brushing their noses together, a habit from their trainee days.
Seungkwan shifts from an uncomfortable kneeling position to sit comfortably on the floor, his hands full of Hansol’s face, shyly smiling at him. Seungkwan ends up pulling Hansol to the ground with him unceremoniously, and Hansol scrambles to not directly fall on top of Seungkwan, landing in front of him with a slight thud.
The quiet room echoes with the sounds of their harmonious laughter again, this time over Hansol’s graceless fall. Seungkwan stops laughing and leans back against the foot of Hansol’s bed, taking Hansol’s hands into his, a wordless apology for pulling him down unannounced.
The air shifts around them, finally quieting down, only the sounds of their breathing filling the room. “Thank you,” Seungkwan’s voice comes softly. “That was very sweet of you.” He wants to crush Hansol in a hug, wants to pour his overflowing heart out– but nothing could show Hansol how much he truly means to him.
So he settles for running his fingers through Hansol’s hair instead. Hansol’s eyes close automatically, like a kitten being pet by his owner. “You don't have to worry about me so much. I like it when you do, but you don't have to go to such lengths to show it.”
Hansol’s hazel eyes stare up at him, “I know. I just wanted to help you feel better.” Seungkwan nods in understanding, “It does, but you being here with me is enough. It's the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”
Seungkwan tugs on Hansol’s arm to sit beside him, leaning his head on Hansol’s shoulder as soon as he scoots over. “And just so you know, I don't care if we cross six seconds. Just kiss me whenever you want.” Hansol nods, eyes scrunching up at the memory. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he murmurs into a spot near Seungkwan's temple, lips lingering there a moment longer than necessary.
Seungkwan feels Hansol’s fond gaze on him when he says, “You're all I’ve ever wanted, too.”
It's Seungkwan's turn to blush now, the apples of his cheeks burning red upon hearing Hansol say something so sappy and romantic to him. He loves it too much, but his eyes avoid Hansol’s, leaning down to press a small kiss to his shoulder instead.
“Stop it~ You can't just say things like that!” Seungkwan whines, burying his face into Hansol’s shoulder once again.
Hansol grins proudly, resting his head on Seungkwan's.
A moment passes before Hansol says, “Boo.”
“Hmm?”
“Don't you have to get to practice?”
“Shit! What time is it?” Seungkwan tears himself away from Hansol’s side, scrambling to his feet in sheer panic. His hands dig through his bag to retrieve his phone– four missed calls from their manager, one from Seokmin and Joshua each. Fuck.
Hansol stands up too, clearly amused at Seungkwan's misery.
Seungkwan rushes out the door, tugging on Hansol’s ear one last time.
Hansol knows he'll just blame it on the traffic again.