Some Kind Of Peace

by Jasmine_flow

Summary:

A biological BDSM verse. Regulus Black and James Potter have a seemingly perfect relationship, until Regulus grows to rely on Evan Rosier. Barty Crouch JR learns that he can push James Potter all day and will still receive love. They certainly aren't all meant to get along but love grows and who's gonna stop it.

Notes:

Please, please, please read the tags, take care of yourself. If one of the tags isn't your thing, just don't read. This is super self-indulgent, so I hope you like it! To be completely honest, this chapter is kind of just me setting the scene to make sure the world actually makes sense, so if there are any questions about that, I would be happy to answer them. I'm the type of person who reads a book and has to sit and make a family tree because I get so lost and want to understand the setting first, so hopefully I've done that and made it easy to read. enjoy xx

Chapter 1: Designation Day

The light in the tower was warm and soft. After arriving at Hogwarts, the night before, the autumn air offered a golden glow to the room. Regulus lay under the silky white sheets, unable to drift off; he had been tossing and turning all night, dreading 9 AM. The nerves were getting to him, making him want to crawl out of his skin; the itch beneath the surface couldn't be soothed, no matter how much he scratched, and was driving him mad. He just wanted this over with.

Trying desperately not to wake Barty, he finally forced himself to get up. He crept to the bathroom and tried to cover the darkness under his eyes, but it was clear to anyone that he was stressed and unsettled. He just wanted to cuddle up in bed with James, who was probably on a run right now, something that, in his opinion, was insane at 6 AM. Once he'd got ready, he still had three hours of dreading his test, so he made his way down to the great hall for some breakfast. He knew he would probably be one of the few down there at this hour, so he was looking forward to some quiet to read. He took his seat at the Slytherin table, poured himself a cup of coffee, and flipped his book open, reading the first paragraph, but his focus was drifting; he ended up reading the same line over and over. His frustration bubbled up inside him, his hands gripping his forearms and digging his nails in to try and focus on something. He took a sip of coffee and tried to focus his thoughts, all the while still gripping his skin in between his nails, applying more pressure.

James had had enough. He was sitting on the other side of the hall, trying to eat his breakfast post-workout, when Regulus walked in. He observed his tired eyes and anxious expression; it worried him that Regulus was alone at the table with no one to keep an eye on him. He watched as Regulus ignored the food, didn't add sugar or milk to his coffee, and flipped open a book. He was willing to leave him to it, after all, today would be stressful for all of them. However, when he saw the harsh grip on his forearm, he decided enough was enough. He made his way over to the table and sat down beside Regulus. He was startled, completely oblivious to the world around him. He was far too focused on trying to distract himself from the impending panic he felt. James gently placed his own hands over Regulus' and pried them off. He kissed the corner of his mouth and offered a 'Hello sweetheart, what's got you worked up?' Regulus was silent for a moment and just shrugged. His throat was burning this morning, the desire to talk was strong, but the anxiety of using words was stronger. James stroked his hair and held one of his wrists; his soft touch helped Regulus feel his presence, and he was able to rasp a quick 'Can't focus' and James knew exactly why.

Regulus had deep-rooted fears of rejection ever since his parents had told him to pack his bags when they found out he was autistic at 16. In hindsight, that fact wouldn't have mattered so much if Sirius had been a dom, but no. In their small warped world, they had two weak, broken, and needy children who they didn't want to taint their image of being the perfect family. James had promised Reg that, whatever designation he turned out to be today, even though anyone who knew Regulus could make a pretty accurate guess, he would love and take care of him. James quickly replied, 'You don't use pain to make yourself focus, Reg.' They'd had this conversation far too many times for his liking, and it would be a much easier conversation to have after the test. A lot of conversation was going to have to happen today, and James didn't know how it was all going to go, but he wasn't nearly as anxious as Regulus, who was shaking in his hold.

'Okay, sweetheart, shall we take this up to my room?' Even though they were mostly alone in the hall, James wanted Regulus to be in a safe space. The impending panic was coming, and he would rather Regulus be able to calm down in a space he knew than have to carry him up to his room. James, being house captain, had his own bedroom and a room he and Remus (headboy) shared for more intense scenes, not that he used it. He just replied with teary eyes and a small nod. He led him back up to the room and sat him down on the bed. He pulled out the weighted blanket and a stress ball to try and redirect some of Regulus' energy in a less self-destructive manner. Regulus lay on the bed, rolled up in the blanket, and James couldn't help but look with fondness at him. When Regulus couldn't talk, he usually signed to James. The lack of signing worried him. The last thing he wanted was for Reg to completely shut him out; they needed to talk about this. Their relationship would be a lot easier once Regulus had gotten his designation because it meant that he could finally give Regulus what he so desperately needed.

'Can you tell me what's going on, sweetheart?' Regulus stared at him and, in rapid BSL, replied, 'I just don't know why I'm like this.' James sighed. This was exactly what he suspected, 'you're gonna have to be a little more specific, Reg.' The loud, frustrated whine that came from Regulus made him wince. If Regulus had presented, he would have been able to calm him so much more easily, but he had to opt for alternative approaches. 'Explain to me what's going on in your head, love' Regulus found his voice and replied 'Will things change between us?' it sounded so pathetic and James heart broke 'of course things will change sweetheart, but thats good you'll finally get what you've needed for a long time, our dynamic will change, yes. The way I love you will never. Does that clear things up for you?' James was rewarded with a little smile and a quiet 'I love you'; the relief washed over him. They spent the next hour or so curled up. Regulus didn't talk; he just basked in James' warmth. When it was finally time to go for his test, he didn't feel nearly as ready to crawl out of his skin as he had hours prior.

The test went pretty smoothly for Regulus. He met Barty down there and sat beside him until their names were called, his blood was drawn and tested, they both waited for their results together, it was possibly the longest 15 minutes of his life. He knew his designation already, but just waiting for it to be confirmed was increasing his anxiety. When his name was called again, he went back into the little bay rooms, which were set up for all the nurses to draw blood. Madam Pomfrey sat in front of him with a smile on her face 'I have your results here, darling. Do you want me to call in a friend, or do you just want me to tell you?' Regulus debated asking for James; he really did, but he decided that he didn't want to bother him while he was probably helping subs who had just presented or were in distress. Madam Pomfrey eyed him with a look at his response. He knew that look well, it was the look James and Remus often gave Sirius when he was being a brat with either of them. 'Alright, love, but I will have to let one of them know after.' She handed him a small piece of card with his photo, birthday, and designation, submissive. He nearly cried right there, not from emotion, but he just felt relief that it was over. The number beside it was a 9, and he was shocked at that. Sirius was a 10, and they were so different in attitude; he thought he would be a 7 or lower. A 9 is high maintenance, and he already finds himself wanting to hide that from James and ignore it; he doesn't want to put pressure on James to take care of him all the time. She lets him read it for a minute, says congratulations, and she gives him a few handouts on what to expect, subdrop, different lifestyles, etc.

He walks out and feels a great sense of relief. He desperately wants to find James to show him just so that it's over with, but James is with Remus chatting, and he doesn't want to intrude. He tries to walk out and go up to James' room to hide under his blanket and try to feel calm again, but he doesn't get three steps towards the door before Evan catches up to him. He knew he was supposed to talk to Evan before he left, but he just felt so antsy. Evan catches him by his wrist, and he turns around to greet him in a hug, with an uttered 'Just where do you think you're going?' Evan, being the house captain, has to take note of Reg's designation before he goes because, technically, Evan needs to keep track and make sure everyone's needs are being met. He takes one look at Regulus' card and writes it down in a little leather notebook they give to all the heads.

'Are you alright, darling?' he asks. Regulus isn't able to speak right now, so he just signs, 'yeah, I was going to James' room to get my blanket.' Evan thinks for two seconds and then takes Regulus by the wrist and starts walking him over to James. 'That's alright, darling, just don't want you to be alone right now.' Regulus nods. He's at the point where he doesn't even struggle; he just weakly says, 'James has work to do, I don't want to be a bother.' Evan gives him a look, which roughly translates to 'don't be so silly'. He stops him right in front of James and hands Regulus' card to him. He takes one look and his face lights up, 'That's brilliant, sweetheart.' Evan looks to Regulus, smiles, and says, 'I thought I'd hand-deliver him to you, seeing as he was going to escape up to your room, to avoid being, as he calls himself, a bother.' James fixes him with a look and studies him. 'Okay, sweetheart, we'll talk about this later. Thank you, Evan. We are pretty much done here, so I'm going to take him upstairs.'

Remus, Evan, and James bid each other goodbye, and they make the short journey up to James' room. As soon as they enter, Regulus hops on the bed and tries to smother himself in his blanket. James had to rip it off and said, 'sweetheart, we've talked about this. I love that you find so much comfort in the blanket, but please be careful with it. Not over your head,' he replied with a whine and a small 'I'm sorry'. James knew they had to talk, preferably sooner rather than later. 'It's alright, Reg, do you think we can have a chat?' Regulus's anxiety came full force, and James instantly realised his mistake. He bundled Reg up in his blanket and held him 'It's nothing bad, I promise, love, it'll be good for us to set up some rules and boundaries and maybe make a contract, if you're alright with that. I'm sorry for panicking you.’ Regulus' relief was visible; he felt a lot better at the clarification. James thought it would be best to have a short conversation now and let regulus fill in one of the hogwarts limits sheets rather than make a contract now, a contract wasn't a huge commitment to them because they had already been together for 8 months but it would require a lot more discussion than what reg was feelng up to right now, the sooner he finished this the sooner reg could feel settled again. He placed the sheet on the table in front of Regulus to fill out before they talked, just so the boring part was over and done with. They had discussed a lot in the lead-up to Regulus' test anyway, so they didn't have too much to talk about, which James was grateful for.

Once Regulus was finished, he gave the sheet to James, and he looked over it. Regulus's few hard limits were crossed out in red, his soft limits in yellow, and his preferences were ticked in green. On the most part, they were extremely compatible, although he may need a hard dom from time to time, James could do it, but it definitely wasn't his favourite; he preferred to dote on Reg. He was a soft dom through and through. He bundled Regulus up and held him in his lap so that he could make eye contact during this conversation. It sometimes made Reg uncomfortable, but he seemed to be alright with it today. 'Okay, sweetheart, did you read the leaflets Madam Pomfrey gave you?' Regulus shook his head; he hadn't even opened them. He was too nervous about what he'd find, James suspected that, so he read them out to him in a soft voice and skimmed over the parts that Regulus definitely wouldn't be interested in. One went over the different lifestyles and what levels corresponded; some subs only needed to go into subspace twice a month, and some needed 24/7 submission. Considering he was a 9, he would probably be the latter, and James, being a level 8, was happy with that. Another leaflet mainly went over subdrop, and to be honest, that one was mostly for the doms.

'Sweetheart, I'm gonna just talk to you about the different ways I've been thinking might help settle you. Is that okay?' Regulus knew that would be something he needed, a way to be settled and put down outside of a full scene. 'Yeah, Jamie, that's okay. Can I ask questions?’ That question made James happy to go on; knowing that Regulus was happy enough to engage and talk to him made it easier. 'Of course you can. Now, I was thinking of starting with just kneeling. If you need to go down, you've done it before and you're comfortable doing it, right?' Kneeling was common practice during a punishment, no matter your designation, so yeah, Regulus had done it a couple of times when Barty got him into trouble. He'd only done it for McGonagall before, but he trusted James, and he trusted her, so it would be fine. 'Yeah, I've done it a couple of times, it's nice, makes me feel calmer, clears my head.' James shelves that information away, glad that something helps Reg that he's already familiar with. 'The next thing I want to bring up is spankings, now I know you've had them before, but these will be different depending on why you're getting one. We could also try maintenance spankings to see if those will work for you.' Regulus' sigh doesn't go unnoticed; he's begun to tightly unravel from James' lap, finding comfort in James explaining what will happen and how. 'Will they be as a punishment too?' he says in an uncertain tone, 'I've seen them work for you, sweetheart, and as long as they keep working then, yes. They will be different, though, the way they make you feel will be different, and I'll never use implements during a settling spanking. Does that make sense to you?' Regulus nods and feels comforted by the clarification. This also gives him much more clarity when looking at their relationship, to have rules, consequences, and someone taking care of him.

'Okay, sweetheart, that's us done for now unless there's anything else you need?' Regulus shakes his head; he's pretty happy now, with how everything worked out and with the confirmation that James will explain everything and that he loves him. James places him against his chest and scoots back to sit against the headboard. He plays with Regulus' hair, calming him before saying. 'I need you to come to me Reg, when you're struggling, when you're sad, angry, anything, okay? What you said earlier about being a bother, I don't ever want you to feel like that, you are my top priority always, you will never be a bother or a burden, alright?' Reg hums in response, 'I understand, I promise, I'll try.' James kisses him for a minute and then says, 'That's all I ask, as long as you try.'

Chapter 2: Settling in

Notes:

Hiya, so I know it's been a while, and I have been writing, so hopefully I will upload consistently. When I write, it flows, and then when I read it, there's just something not right, and it takes me a while to figure it out. Anyway, that's me explaining how my weird brain works. I'm back at college now, so hopefully, now that I'm on a consistent schedule, I will upload more because I do love where it's going. I just don't know how to get there quite yet.
Enjoy xx

When Barty sat next to Regulus, waiting to be called to get tested, he tried to keep it together. The stress radiating off Reg couldn't be ignored; he was doing a pretty decent job of staving off his own panic by comforting Reg. However, as soon as his name was called, that went straight out he window. Any facet of him holding it together was gone; all he felt was the bubbling terror in the pit of his stomach. When he sat on the bed, all he could feel was uncertainty.

A lot of people knew their designation before testing; all it meant to them was that they could finally act on it. For Barty, this was different; he wasn't sure, no one could really place him on either side of the spectrum, and that wasn't a comforting thought. He got through the blood draw without a snag, but all he wanted was to run away and hide in the nearest cupboard, where he was sure no one would find him for the rest of eternity. But he tried to keep it together whilst waiting with Regulus.

That all changed as soon as his name was called; he was caught in this weird limbo between running away and never coming back, or just curling up in a ball on the floor. Luckily, he made it into the little room with Madam Pomfrey until collapsing onto the bed with sobs. Madam Pomfrey was completely baffled by his display and just muttered something about going to fetch someone and that she would be back in just a moment. Barty just stayed curled into himself. He did not want those results; he knew he wouldn't be able to be a good sub for anyone, he was too chaotic, but he also knew that the pressure of being a dom would crush him. Therefore, he had no option he particularly liked, which just made this whole situation a million times worse, and he felt completely lost in his own head.

When Evan came in and stared at him for a few seconds and then rushed towards him. Evan sat down on the bed and pulled him up with him. He whispered, 'What's happened, love?' Evan had been watching him in the waiting room, and apart from appearing a little fidgety, Barty was reasonably well composed. Now, though, that had all crumbled away. 'I just, I don't want to know,' came a strangled reply.

Evan was so utterly confused, he was close to Regulus and Barty, and never once had he mentioned any sort of emotion towards designations, except surrounding his father, but they had all struggled in that regard, so it didn't cause him any concern before. But now Evan just wanted to soothe him and tell him it was all going to be okay. Madam Pomfrey had left the room a few minutes ago and told Evan to tell Barty; she knew Barty would need the comfort only someone familiar could provide. Evan just shushed him and tried to soothe the painfully sounding sobs. 'Okay, okay, love. Let's just try to calm down for a minute, alright.' Evan just held him, trying to determine the best way to go about this; he really had no choice.

Once, he told him hopefully the anxiety would go away, and then Barty could get back to normal. He thought it would be better if he just showed him the card, didn't say anything, and kept his face neutral. Hopefully, that would help. Barty calmed down after a couple of minutes, and Evan flipped over the card and showed him. A switch. Switches weren't extremely common, but there were a couple at Hogwarts already; However, most switches tended to lead into one role more easily than the other, to keep their hormones level. However, Barty was a 4 on the dominant scale and a level 6 submissive. In Evan's eyes, this allows Barty the best of both worlds, but it would be more difficult to keep him level depending on which part of his designation he was leaning into.

Barty's loud grumble forced Evan out of his thoughts as he said, 'Of course I have to be difficult.' Evan held back a groan; he'd just had a conversation with Regulus regarding the same thing. Those two might kill him one day. Evan resisted the urge to scold him. Barty probably wouldn't react well to having one of his closest friends scold him as soon as he'd gotten his designation. He was far too stressed to even think about what he was saying, so Evan just decided to leave it. 'Okay, first of all, you aren't difficult in the slightest. Secondly, I think it fits you very well, you get the best of both worlds, okay?' Evan could see the cogs turning in Barty's head and just decided to give him a minute to think. Barty's reply came quietly 'Okay, I just- how am I supposed to know?' and if Evan was completely honest, he wasn't sure, but he thought it would be better if he stayed with Barty and took him to have a conversation with Pandora.

Pandora was one of the only switches in Hogwarts and was pretty unfazed by it, so Evan brought Barty to her so they could talk about it, and he could support him. Their conversation went better than expected, with Pandora offering a lot of praise and helping Barty understand that he wasn't selfish for needing both sides of their dynamics. Once Barty had finished talking with Pandora with only a few tears shed, he felt a weight lifted off him that he hadn't even known was there.

 

—

 

James entered the Grifffindor common room, where Remus was sitting on one of the sofas in front of the fireplace, and Sirius was kneeling below him on a soft kneeling cushion. Remus was reading and occasionally bringing his hand down to rest on Sirius's head or run his fingers through his hair. The ambiance in the room was calm, with a soft glow embracing the room from the lit fire. However, as soon as James walked in, Sirius began to fidget. Remus's hold on his hair became tighter so that every time he moved his head, he would be greeted by a yank to his hair.

James just chuckled, shook his head, and made his way over to them. He sat on the sofa, and Remus put his book down beside him. He removed his hand from Sirius' hair and fixed him with a look. Sirius was supposed to be going down, but clearly, the arrival of James had made it more difficult for him. James made eye contact and lightly scolded, 'You need to go down, Siri, settle down.' Remus nodded in agreement, but also understood that Sirius wasn't trying to be disobedient or bratty; he'd actually been on his best behaviour for the last few days, but he'd been antsy, possibly in need of settling, which had been going well until now.

'Sorry for interrupting, you two. But- I've got a querie.' Remus looks up and, with a questioning smile, gestures for James to go ahead. 'So basically I've gone over the basics with Regulus and he's doing so well, I just don't know how I should get him more comfortable in public.' Remus gave a glance to Sirius, who was now comfortably back in subspace (based on the hazy look in his eyes), and turned his attention to James.

'You saw what it was like with Sirius at first, it's not easy, but you just have to wean him into it.' Remus said 'i just don't want to make him kneel for me in public if he's uncomfortable, that wont help him' James' worry was valid but Remus had been down this road before and he knew that Reglus would be comfortable as long as James was. 'okay, well you could just do it gradually in front of people he knows and trusts first, you can bring him up to your room, which he deems as safe and then me and Sirius can come and join you, after he's settled.' James nodded. He felt a lot better about it now; he didn't know when the right time to push Regulus was. James was wary about Reg's vast sensory needs and was unsure how this would go, but an attempt could be made.

James went to retrieve Regulus from the Slytherin dorms, where he was playing cards with Barty. On their way back, he gently broached the subject, 'So, I was thinking about how to get you more comfortable, and I wanted to try something, is that alright, love?' Regulus was skeptical but replied 'Yeah, Jamie, what is it?'

'I was thinking, if you're comfortable, we could try kneeling in front of Sirius and Remus, but only if you're okay with it, darling. I'm not going to push you.' Doubt filled up his mind, but he wanted to try, if not for himself then for James. 'Yeah, I'll try, but I might panic.' James had already considered that and was well prepared for however this panned out. 'That's alright, darling, as long as you are okay to try.'

At Regulus' nod, they'd reached the dorm, and James guided Regulus in and set up his kneeling pillow, gesturing for him to kneel while James got water bottles and his weighted blanket, which he placed over his shoulders. James sat above him and made sure Reg was comfortable before allowing Remus and Sirius into the bedroom.

Remus guided sirius to a pillow beside Regulus and sat beside James on the sofa, he and james kept their voices soft as they conversed, after about thirty minutes they decided they would bring their subs up, with a few taps on the shoulder Regulus came up and was pulled onto James knee for cuddles and a drink, getting Reg into subspace before the two boys entered seemed to stamp out the panic.

Sirius, sitting in a similar position to Regulus, reached out and took Reg's hand. 'You're doing a lot better than me at that stage Reggie, I was bratting any chance I got.' Remus shook his head with a chuckle and said, 'It just took a little longer for you to settle, love. ' Regulus just giggled and snuggled further into James' chest, picking at the skin around his nails until James placed a spiky ball into his hands to redirect his stimming into something less self-destructive. At this point in the day, he was usually pretty nonverbal because of overstimulation throughout the day and because he had just been in subspace. So he didn't bother signing or trying to talk and enjoyed James' attention.

Notes:

Thanks for reading!!

Notes:

Thank you for reading! Honestly trying to balance the amount of dialogue but also trying to display Jegulus' pre-existing relationship for this chapter was so difficult but now that I've finished the first chapter the rest is falling together well, i hope.