Chapter Text
“Alright boys, this is it.” Bruce said as he pulled the car in front of the door.
After putting it in park, he looked into the back seat at the three little faces. The littlest one was pulling against his car seat to try and see past it better, but he was the only one that seemed at all eager to see his new home. The eldest, who was sitting in the middle seat, was much more focused on the little boy, trying to get him to sit back and behave, he probably hadn’t looked out the window for the entire trip back from the hospital. Meanwhile, the third boy on his other side just stared down at the hands he was wringing in his lap.
Bruce pinned a smile on his face, one he’d tried to craft to convey all manner of empathy and gentleness. For the hundredth time since making the decision, he questioned his sanity. He was supposed to be this irresponsible playboy, what did he know about raising children? And, most especially, what did he know about raising these children?
But he had no choice. Whether he liked it or not, they were now his responsibility. After everything they had been through, and with everything they knew, they couldn’t be trusted in the hands of anyone else. Besides, it wasn’t like he didn’t have the space, didn’t have the resources for a family. It wasn’t even that he hadn’t considered it before. In fact he had once considered it very seriously. He just didn’t expect to go from carefree bachelor to father of three in a matter of weeks,
He saw the door of the manor open and Alfred stepped out. He let out a breath at the reminder that he was not alone in this. He may not have been ready for fatherhood, but Alfred knew a thing or two about raising traumatized little boys.
As Alfred walked down the steps, Bruce unbuckled and got out of the car. By the time he opened the back door to get the little one out of his carseat though, he found that the eldest had already undone all of the clasps and was picking the toddler up. He got out of the car and hefted the toddler up on his hip. It was a bit disconcerting to see him carrying his youngest brother because, even though he was not large for a three year old, he was still too big for the slightly built boy to really carry properly.
“Here, why don’t I-” Bruce started as he reached out to take the little boy but he stopped when he saw the child cling a little tighter to his brother and angle slightly away. They weren’t there yet.
The middle boy came around the back of the car and, seeming to sense the tension, stood between Bruce and his brothers, looking fierce. Of course, the effect was diminished somewhat by his small stature, but Bruce had no doubt that he would try to fight him if he thought he posed any threat, regardless of their size difference. He both liked that and feared that about the nine year old.
Before anything could escalate, Alfred came up to the car and made a small bow to the three boys and one to Bruce. The three of them huddled a little tighter in reaction to his proximity, but it didn’t seem to put him off. He didn’t back off, but he didn’t get any closer either. Instead, he went on as if things were totally normal.
“Shall I get your things from the trunk, young sirs?” he asked, already moving to the back of the car.
“No, that’s alright we can-” the oldest one started, moving after him, the younger one following behind.
Alfred opened the trunk but the little blue backpack he was reaching for was snatched out from under him by the nine year old, who handed it to his brother before grabbing the other two, heavier bags himself.
Alfred raised an eyebrow and looked to his employer who shook his head just a bit. The boys didn’t have much and they didn’t trust their new guardians yet either. He thought it best to make small concessions at the start, especially over inconsequential things like who carried their bags. There would be enough things that they couldn’t compromise on later, best to let them keep the control that they could.
Still, it was hard to see the two little boys struggling to carry a toddler and three oversized bags between them. He knew that Alfred was feeling it too, the urge to help them. None of the bags or the youngest boy would be at all difficult for the grown men to carry, but for two small boys, it just looked like too much.
Alfred shut the trunk and Bruce went up the stairs and held open the door as the boys trudged up the stair under their load. He wished that the older boy would at least put the toddler down, the kid could walk fine after all. He didn’t need to be carried. But Bruce knew that it was a comfort thing, and just as much for the older boy’s sake as the little one’s.
As they crossed the threshold, Bruce said, "Welcome home, boys.”
They stopped just inside the door and stared around with wonder at the foyer, at the broad staircase opposite the door, at the crystal chandelier that illuminated the hall, at the portraits that lined the walls, and the delicate little chairs that Bruce wasn’t entirely sure had ever been sat in. Suddenly he was keenly aware that the house wasn’t the most child friendly. He and Alfred had only really had time to prepare their rooms and a few of the living areas. They hadn’t exactly put away all of the fragile antiques or family heirlooms.
The looks on their faces told him that they were overwhelmed. It wasn’t very child friendly in that way either, it wasn’t brightly colored and approachable, but austere and refined, meant for showing off to rich adults, not for entertaining children.
“Come on boys, I’ll show you your rooms and you can put down your stuff.” he said.
Hopefully they had done okay picking out things their new charges would like. He’d buy a million bedspreads if necessary, as many as it took to find ones they liked, but he had to start somewhere. Once they had a chance to settle in, he would take them all shopping to help personalize them more.
He felt a bit terrible for making them climb the big staircase, but all of the bedrooms were on the second floor. He desperately wanted to take the bags from them. He’d carry each of them up himself if they’d let him, but he knew that would be counter productive. Yet he could hear the twelve year old wheezing by the time they were about half way up. Three quarters of the way and he finally had to set the little toddler down.
Bruce paused. The little one may be able to walk , but stairs were a different matter. Should he scoop him up and carry him the rest of the way, or would that put him back in the trust department? Still, it was a matter of safety. He wasn’t comfortable letting a three year old climb the stairs.
He walked back down the couple of steps that he was ahead and started to reach down.
But the nine year old got to him first and picked him up with some effort, saying, “Back off old man.”
“Listen, I know you aren’t comfortable with me yet, but he can’t climb the stairs on his own and he’s too big for either of you to carry. Please, just let me carry him for you.” Bruce said, kneeling to be at eye level.
“He ain’t too big. I got ‘im.” he protested, but his voice was strained, it was taking effort just to hold him, much less go up the stairs with him.
Bruce sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was force the issue, but the little boy could not go up the stairs carrying his brother.
“It’s okay, I’ve got him. I’m good now.” the eldest said, reaching over and taking the little one back.
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure Jay. Just get our stuff please?”
The nine year old didn’t seem totally convinced but grabbed the bags he’d dropped earlier and followed. Bruce wasn’t keen on letting the older boy carry him either, he was obviously still winded, but at the very least he didn’t look like he was going to drop him and they were near the top anyway.
On the landing he stopped again. He was about to tell them to either let him carry the toddler or let him walk for a while, but there was no need because the eldest was already setting him down. He looked pale and wasn’t breathing quite right, but he resolutely readjusted the bag on his shoulder and grabbed the little boy’s hand.
“Are you alright?” Bruce asked.
“Mhmm,”
He smiled up at him as if to tell him to lead the way. He was obviously trying to control his breathing to not let on how hard it was, but the middle boy wasn’t any more convinced than Bruce was and continued looking at him with concern anyway.
“We can wait here a minute-” Bruce suggested.
“That’s okay sir, we’re fine,” he said.
“There’s no rush,”
“He said he’s fine. Just show us the room, geezer.” the middle one said, stepping between them again.
The dynamic between the brothers was starting to become clearer to Bruce. When he’d first found them, there was enough else going on, and they were scared enough that they acted very differently. He had to tell himself that the animosity and the boundary pushing he was seeing from the middle brother was a good sign, it meant that he was getting more comfortable, even if he didn't appear very comfortable at all.
Bruce started back down the hall, stealing covert glances over his shoulder at the three boys following behind him. The older two flanked the littlest one and they each held one of his tiny pudgy hands in their own. He felt a rush of unexpected affection. He barely knew them, but their love for each other and the care and protection they showed was endearing.
“Okay, here we are,” Bruce said, stopping in front of one of the doors. “I figured you would want to be close to each other, so these three are your rooms.”
He gestured to each of the doors in turn, two on one side of the hall, and one on the other, just across from them.
“This one is for Dick, it’s got a toddler bed, but the other two I figure you can choose between.”
Bruce opened the door to Dick’s room and the little boy broke away from his brothers to explore. He saw the momentary panic on the older two faces before they followed after him into the bedroom.
Dick giggled with delight as he made a beeline for the pile of stuffed animals in the corner of the room. That sound refreshed a part of Bruce that he hadn’t realized was depleted. It was the first genuine sign of joy he had seen from any of them and he needed it. He needed some proof that he was doing the right thing, that he was making their lives better. Logically, he knew that he was, but everything was hard, everything was a battle. He needed something to just be right from the start.
The oldest boy rushed in behind him and got onto his knees beside the mound that was consuming the little boy. Only his tiny sneakers could be seen sticking out and kicking as he wiggled in the pile of fluff. As he watched, a smile crossed the kid’s thin face, a real one and not the appeasing one that Bruce had become familiar with. He seemed almost comfortable, at the very least he was as pleased to see the little one happy as Bruce had been. His shoulders drooped with released tension and he didn’t look quite as wary as he had before.
The middle brother however, stood in the doorway, once again using his body to get between Bruce and his brothers. None of the joy and contentment inside the room was apparent on his face. He all but glowered at Bruce. It wasn’t quite hostile, but it was clear that if he were to try to enter the room, it would become so. How sad that a boy so young felt such a strong need to protect, and how sad that the only way he could think to do so was to physically put himself between them and the danger.
Bruce tried not to take it personally that he was the danger in the children’s minds. It only made sense given their past, but still, it kind of hurt. He didn’t let on. Best to keep things pleasant and light. The kid could pick up on any sign of defensiveness, so he had to pretend he didn’t notice the tension and keep his posture slack. As counterintuitive as it felt, he turned his back to the boy and to the room, moving across the hallway to the other door.
“Wanna pick your room, chum?” he asked, trying to make it sound normal and inviting.
The kid looked him up and down with sharp green eyes, dissecting his motives for danger. He looked back into the room for a moment before walking across the hall to where Bruce was opening the door.
Again, he didn’t go all the way in, stopping at the doorway and looking in. With Alfred’s guidance, this room was decorated with a red and cream striped bedspread and matching curtains. There was a toy chest at the end of it that had been packed with Legos and action figures, though they could only guess what the boys might be interested in. There was a low bookshelf under the window that had been stocked with books that ranged from learning to read to middle school level. After all, they didn't yet know how extensive the boys’ educations had been. On the bed there were about six pillows and three stuffed animals. On the walls they had put posters of NASCAR and a couple of popular movies, just to make it feel not quite so generic. They would replace them with whatever it was the boys liked.
Without even going in, he said, “Can I see the other one?”
Bruce’s heart sank. He had hoped maybe that he’d like the room, not that he had to pick that one, but he didn’t even seem all that interested. The other one was very similar, so if he didn’t like that one, chances are he wouldn’t like the other one either.
Regardless, he gave him a smile and nodded, going back across the hallway to open the door next to the room that the other two boys were still in. This one had a green duvet and cool grey curtains, other than that, it was almost exactly the same. Different books, posters and action figures, but ultimately, the same. Bruce felt inadequate. He should have done a better job. They were disappointed already and they had been at the manor a total of fifteen minutes.
“We can, uh, we can go shopping. Replace any of this stuff with the stuff you like.” Bruce tried, hoping that it might help in some measure.
The boy turned and met his gaze, “Tim’ll like this one. I’ll take that one.” he said, pointing back towards the red room.
Bruce nodded, smiling again. It wasn’t necessarily positive, but at least the kid seemed to accept it. He set one of the backpacks he was carrying down in the green room before he went across the hall and put down the bag that must have been his. Bruce felt stuck. He just stood there in the hallway, equidistant from each of the rooms. He didn’t want them to feel cornered, or like their space was invaded, but he didn’t want to leave them alone either, so he just stood there, doing nothing.
He saw the middle brother crossing the hallway back into the room with his brothers. It released Bruce from his trance. He went and leaned against the doorway and watched as the kid sat down next to the pile of stuffed animals. They almost looked like they belonged, like all of this was ordinary, just three brothers playing together. It made his heart ache with both a kind of nostalgia for a life he’d never lived, and a sorrow for the pain that the scene didn’t show.
The vignette was broken when the middle brother cast him a glare. He was intruding, unwelcome in their idyllic scene. Fortunately for Bruce, he didn’t hold his glare. It was just momentary, but it was enough to make him feel self conscious. He should leave them to settle in. Right? Or should he not leave them unsupervised? If he stayed, did it seem like he didn’t trust them? Did he trust them?
“Sir?”
Bruce held back a jump of surprise at Alfred’s presence behind him. Both of the older boys’ heads shot up at his voice and all three stopped playing immediately. Bruce forced a reassuring smile to the boys, but it didn’t bring back the blissful peace of moments ago.
“It’s time, sir.” Alfred said.
“Right,” Bruce sighed, there were, after all, even more important things than the boys’ game.
“Boys?” he asked.
The eldest stood up right away and the middle brother scooted closer, pulling the youngest into his lap.
“It’s time for you to eat. You hungry?” he asked, trying to sound light and casual.
They looked at each other with something between distrust and alarm.
“That’s okay, sir, we’re alright.” the eldest said.
Bruce took a step into the room, the eldest stepped back, the younger one bristled and held the youngest tighter to his chest. It stopped him in his tracks. How was he supposed to parent if they were terrified of him coming anywhere near them?
Bruce sat down on the floor, making himself small, and hopefully nonthreatening.
“Look, I know that this is a lot. You’re trying to get everything all figured out and that’s exhausting and scary, but you’ve gotta eat. The doc said that you need to eat small meals at regular, frequent intervals. So I know you’d rather stay here and get settled in, but you really do need to eat. Okay?”
“Whatever you want, sir.” the eldest said.
Bruce wanted them to want it too, but if pleasing him would get them to eat, he’d make due with that.
“Then maybe I can show you the rest of the house, yeah?”
“If you’d like,”
The middle brother grabbed his wrist and pulled. There was an intense look between them that, if Bruce was interpreting right, meant that he thought his older brother was making too many concessions and potentially putting them in a compromising situation. Eventually, he seemed to relent and let go of his wrist, though he did not look happy about that.
The other two boys got up and they resumed holding hands. Bruce noticed that the oldest boy still had the little blue backpack on his shoulders.
He stood up himself and said, “Hey, you can leave that here, you won’t need it.”
That was evidently the wrong thing to say because they all suddenly looked very uncertain again.
“Or you can bring it, if you prefer. Just, these are your rooms now, so, you know, whatever you want.”
He turned away and took a deep, intentional breath. It was like he was walking on eggshells.
“Gentlemen,” Alfred prompted, leading the way out of the room.
With dread, Bruce realized that this meant another trip on the stairs. He looked back and saw that the eldest was already reaching down to pick the kid up. He couldn’t do this again. He’d never been so stressed about the stupid staircase, not even when he had broken bones or gunshot wounds.
He stopped and turned around, “Okay, you aren’t going to like this, but we aren’t doing this again. You can’t carry him. It isn’t safe for either of you. So you have a choice, you can either let me carry him, or Alfred, but you aren’t going down those stairs holding him again.”
The boys froze. The eldest looked terrified, in his arms the youngest looked confused and hurt, and next to them, the middle boy looked vindicated. All three of them started talking at once.
“It’s really no problem, sir, he’s small, I can carry him.”
“Go to hell. You ain’t touching him.”
“Why can’t Tim carry me? I don’t wanna!”
Bruce’s mind stuttered, trying to sort through their words, “I’m sorry, okay? I know you don’t like it, but you’re both just too weak. You wouldn’t want to drop him, right?”
“I wouldn’t drop him!” the eldest said, sounding offended. “I’ve never dropped him.”
“Yeah, don’t pretend like we can’t take care of each other. What’d ’you know about us, huh?” the younger one said.
“Please, just-”
The little one started crying, “Don’t let him take me away! I don’t wanna go!”
“Oh- no, sweetheart, I’m not gonna take you away, we’re all just going downstairs to eat. They’re coming too. I just-”
“Mr. Wayne, please, if I could just-”
“You ain’t touching them.”
“Really, I can-”
“No, I’m sorry boys, but-”
“Lay off, okay?!”
“Why can’t I stay?!”
“Don’t worry Dick, I won’t let ‘im.”
“It’s okay, Dick,”
Things had devolved into chaos at the top of the stairs. Dick’s crying was quickly becoming a melt down and the middle boy was becoming increasingly defensive, he looked like he was starting to square up for a fight, and the eldest looked like he was on the verge of hyperventilating. Bruce looked to Alfred helplessly as one boy cried and screamed and another one shouted. He was lost. How was he supposed to do this? It was all building up. He couldn’t stop it. It was so loud.
“ Be quiet! ” he shouted.
He hadn’t meant to. He felt terrible. The oldest boy wouldn’t look at him and seemed to stop breathing all together, the middle one was boring holes into his head with the force of his glare, and the little one tried, and failed, to hold back his sniffling.
“I- I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” he stilted, “ I didn’t mean to yell.”
“No, that’s our fault sir, we were being loud, we’re sorry, please forgive us. We will be quiet from now on. We’re sorry.” one says, quickly and quietly without looking up.
The youngest child buried his head in his brother’s neck but the third brother didn't break his glare. Bruce scrubs a hand down his face and sits on the top step.
“We can figure this out. Okay?” he says, patting the step next to him.
None of them sit down, although the eldest does take a step closer, brother in arms.
“Right. So, from my perspective, I don’t want any of you to get hurt, okay? Which means that I can’t let a three year old go up and down the stairs on his own. You agree with that?”
The oldest boy nods, slowly, as if it’s a trap.
“Great, so we agree that Dick can’t walk down the stairs himself and he needs to be carried.”
“Right, that’s why I-”
“But here’s the thing,” Bruce soldiered on, he felt a little bad for interrupting but he needed to get it all out.
“You and your brother are both smaller than kids your age should be. That’s just a fact. Not because you did anything wrong, or because you aren’t good enough or anything, you are just small. It’s hard for you to carry him. I can see that. He’s nearly half your size.”
“I can still-”
“Just because you can doesn’t mean that it’s safe.” Bruce goes on. “I can see your arms shaking right now as you hold him. But the thing is, it wouldn’t be remotely hard for either me or Alfred to carry him because we’re a whole lot bigger than you. It is much safer for one of us to carry him. I know you aren’t comfortable with us just yet, but please understand that this is for your safety .”
Bruce could just barely see his lip quiver as he thought it through. He knew that he was right. But was trying to find some way out.
“This is ridiculous. I’ll carry him. Dick’s next to nothing.” the middle brother said, reaching over and trying to take the little boy.
“Wait, Jay.” The oldest boy said, “Dick, what do you want buddy?”
The toddler wrapped his tiny little arms around his brother’s neck and buried his face again, his flushed cheeks still wet with tears.
“I’m sorry sir, I’m afraid we can’t do that.” he said, “It’s alright. He doesn’t weigh much.”
Bruce was conflicted. After all, going down would probably be easier than going up, and the little boy clearly didn’t want to let go, but he could still see the effort it took for his brother to hold him. It seemed so pointless for him to struggle when it would be no big deal for one of the adults. He looked to Alfred for advice, who inclined his head towards the boys as if to say, let them try.
“Alright. You can carry him.” Bruce said after a long moment, “But if it gets too much, please let me carry him.”
The boy thought about it before nodding resolvedly. Bruce led them down the stairs slowly, looking back every few steps. The boy was very careful going down, so the descent was slow and awkward. There were several moments where he had to stop himself from plucking the little boy out of his arms when he faltered. In the end though, they made it down and he was glad that he didn’t force the issue.
He took them into the dining room while Alfred went into the kitchen. The three boys stood off to the side until given explicit direction to sit down. Alfred returned with three plates of roast beef sandwiches, carrots, and apple slices.
“Please, dig in.” Bruce encouraged when none of them moved right away.
The younger two ate ravenously, but the eldest ate almost painfully slowly, chewing each bite for a long time before swallowing. Meanwhile, the middle one didn’t even look at his food while he ate, instead he glowered watchfully, mostly at Bruce, but his eyes would flicker around the room occasionally as well.
“I think it’s about time for proper introductions, don’t you, Master Bruce?” Alfred said, joining them at the table.
Of course, Bruce had almost forgotten. The boys had been nearly the sole topic of conversation over the past week, so it seemed almost redundant for proper introductions.
“Right, boys? This is Alfred Pennyworth. He’s my butler but he’s also kind of like my father. He raised me for much of my childhood. If ever you need anything and I’m not around, he’s who you should go to, okay?”
They each nodded in their own sort of way and Bruce watched as the oldest one put the uneaten half of his sandwich on his brother’s plate. Alfred frowned but didn’t say anything.
He cleared his throat and spoke up, “It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m Tim, and these are my brothers, Jason and Dick.”
The middle brother, Jason, suddenly pushed his chair back from the table, “Enough with the chit chat. You made a promise, old man. Now are you gonna help us find our brother or not?”