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The teachers' lounge smelled like burnt coffee and broken dreams. Seungmin liked it that way.
"Jisung, you're hogging the good mugs again," he said, sliding into his usual chair.
"There are no good mugs. They're all shit." Jisung didn't look up from his phone. "Mrs. Lee bought these from the dollar store in 2003."
"The blue one doesn't have a chip in it."
"Fine. Take the fucking blue one."
This was their morning routine. Three years of the same small talk, same terrible coffee, same complaints about the same awful parents. Seungmin had perfected the art of workplace friendship.
Rule one: keep it light. Rule two: keep it shallow. Rule three: never get involved in personal drama.
It was a good system.
"Did you see the email about Mrs. Park?" Jisung asked, finally looking up.
"The retirement thing? Yeah. About time. That woman's been teaching since the dinosaurs."
"Harsh."
"True." Seungmin stirred his coffee. "Wonder who they'll get to replace her."
"Probably some fresh-faced college grad who thinks they can change the world."
"Those are the worst ones."
Jisung snorted. "Remember Miss Choi? Lasted three weeks."
"I give the new person two."
The lounge door swung open. Chan and Felix bounced in like two golden retrievers.
"Morning, sunshine!" Felix chirped, practically skipping to the coffee machine.
"It's seven-thirty in the morning," Seungmin said. "Why are you so cheerful?"
"Chan brought me breakfast." Felix held up a paper bag. "Homemade croissants."
"Oh, for fuck's sake." Seungmin rolled his eyes. "You two are disgusting."
"Jealousy is a bad look on you, Seungminnie," Chan grinned, wrapping his arms around Felix from behind.
"I'm not jealous. I'm nauseated."
Chan started feeding Felix pieces of croissant. Actual hand-feeding. Like Felix couldn't use his own fucking hands.
"Get a room," Jisung muttered.
"We did. Last night. Several times," Felix said with a shit-eating grin.
"TMI, mate." But Jisung was smiling too.
This was the problem with workplace couples. No boundaries. No shame. No consideration for the poor bastards who had to witness their domestic bliss every morning.
The door opened again. Changbin walked in, gym bag over his shoulder, hair still damp from his morning workout.
"Morning, everyone." His eyes landed on Seungmin. "Coffee?"
"Already got some, thanks."
"I mean, do you want me to make you better coffee? That stuff looks like motor oil."
Seungmin looked down at his cup. It did look like motor oil. "Sure."
Changbin took the cup from his hands. Their fingers brushed. Changbin's hands were warm and calloused from lifting weights.
"How do you like it?"
"Strong. No sugar."
"Like your men?" Felix called out.
"Shut up, Felix."
Changbin laughed, but his ears went red. He busied himself with the fancy machine he'd brought from home. Because, of course, Changbin had his own coffee machine. The man was aggressively helpful. Always offering to carry things, fix things, make things better. It was nice, actually. Even if Seungmin didn't know what to do with all that attention.
"So," Chan said, settling into a chair with Felix practically in his lap, "any plans for the weekend?"
"Sleep," Seungmin said.
"Exciting," Felix said. "Jisung?"
"Studio time. Working on some tracks."
Same answer as always. Jisung was predictably boring. Studio, cats, sleep, repeat. No mention of dates, boyfriends, or any kind of social life that didn't involve synthesizers.
Poor boy was going to die alone.
Not that it was any of Seungmin's business.
Changbin handed him a fresh cup of coffee. It smelled like heaven. "Better?"
Seungmin took a sip. Holy shit. "Where did you learn to make coffee like this?"
"YouTube."
"You learned barista skills from YouTube?"
"I learn everything from YouTube. Last week I fixed my sink."
"What else can you do?" Felix waggled his eyebrows.
"Felix," Chan warned.
"What? I'm curious about his skill set."
Changbin's ears went redder. "I should get to class." He grabbed his bag and practically ran out of the lounge.
"You broke him," Seungmin said.
"He's fine. Just shy about his massive crush on you."
"What?"
"Oh, come on. The man brings you coffee every morning. He offers to carry your shit. Last week, he asked if you needed help moving furniture."
"I don't have furniture to move."
"Exactly."
Seungmin stared at the door where Changbin had disappeared. Huh. Maybe Felix had a point.
"Anyway," Chan said, clearly trying to change the subject, "what do you think about the new teacher?"
"What about them?"
"Just wondering if they'll fit in with our little dysfunctional family."
"As long as they don't sing in the mornings like Felix, we'll be fine."
"I don't sing in the mornings!"
"You hummed Disney songs for three weeks straight."
"Those are classics!"
The intercom crackled to life. Principal Kim's voice filled the room. "Good morning, teachers. Just a reminder that our new faculty member will be starting on Monday. Please make Lee Minho feel welcome. Have a great day."
"Lee Minho," Jisung repeated. "Sounds Korean."
"Very observant," Seungmin said dryly.
"I wonder what he's like."
"Probably normal. Unlike present company."
Felix threw a sugar packet at him. "We're delightful."
"You're something, alright."
The weekend passed in a blur of grading papers and Netflix. Seungmin didn't think about the new teacher. He had more important things to worry about. Like whether his kids would remember anything about fractions after two days off. Probably not.
Monday morning arrived with all the enthusiasm of a root canal.
Seungmin dragged himself to the lounge at seven-fifteen, hoping to get his coffee before the morning chaos started. He pushed open the door and stopped dead.
There was a stranger at the coffee machine.
Tall, lean, wearing a button-down shirt that actually fit properly. Dark hair styled like he'd stepped out of a magazine. The kind of face that belonged on billboards.
Fuck.
"You must be Lee Minho," Seungmin said.
The stranger turned. Smiled. Had the audacity to have a perfect smile.
"That's me. You're...?"
"Kim Seungmin. Fifth grade."
"Nice to meet you." Minho's voice was warm, just a bit high. "Coffee?"
"Please."
Minho handed him a steaming cup. Their fingers didn't brush. Disappointing.
"So, fifth grade," Minho said. "How long have you been teaching?"
"Five years. You?"
"Same, actually. Worked at an international school before this."
"Why the change?"
"Wanted something smaller. More community-focused." Minho leaned against the counter. "Plus, the pay is shit everywhere, so might as well be somewhere with decent coffee."
Seungmin snorted. "The coffee here is terrible."
"I'll bring my own machine, then."
Of course he would. Seungmin was starting to see a pattern with attractive men and fancy coffee equipment.
The lounge door burst open. Felix tumbled in like a hurricane, practically bouncing off the walls with morning energy. "Is he here? Is the new guy here? Oh my god, you're so pretty!" Felix stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Minho, eyes going wide like he'd just discovered buried treasure.
"Felix," Seungmin sighed, already feeling a headache coming on. "Indoor voice. We've talked about this."
"Sorry, sorry. I'm Felix, kindergarten teacher." He stuck out his hand enthusiastically. "You're gorgeous. Are you single? Married? Dating? What's your situation?"
"Felix!" Seungmin snapped, but he was curious too. Good intel was important.
"What? I'm asking for science. And also because I need to know if you're available for our annual teachers' mixer."
Chan appeared behind Felix like an apologetic shadow, already reaching for his boyfriend's arm. "Sorry about him. He has absolutely no filter or social awareness."
"It's fine," Minho laughed, and even his laugh sounded fucking perfect. "I appreciate the direct approach, but-"
"Are you free this weekend?" Felix continued, completely ignoring Chan's warning look.
"Actually, I was thinking of checking out that new coffee shop downtown," Chan interrupted, clearly trying to steer the conversation away from Felix's interrogation.
"Oh, the one with the fancy espresso machine?" Felix immediately got distracted, as Chan had obviously intended. Felix launched into a detailed review of every coffee shop within a ten-mile radius.
Smart deflection, Seungmin noted.
Jisung walked in, phone in hand as usual, probably checking his music production forums or whatever the hell he did on that thing. He looked up, saw Minho, and froze like a deer in headlights. "Oh. Hi." His voice came out slightly strained, like he was trying too hard to sound casual. "You must be the new teacher everyone's been talking about."
"That's me," Minho said with that charming smile that Seungmin was beginning to grow annoyed with.
"Welcome to our humble shithole," Jisung said, shoving his phone in his pocket. His movements were jerky, nervous. "Hope you're ready for lots of complaining and coffee that tastes like it was filtered through a gym sock."
"Thanks, I think," Minho replied with a grin that suggested he found Jisung's brutal honesty amusing rather than off-putting.
Jisung laughed–too loud, like he was performing for an audience that wasn't there. What the fuck was wrong with him? The man usually had the emotional range of a houseplant, and now he was giggling like a schoolgirl.
"So, uh, where are you from originally?" Jisung asked, fidgeting with the coffee machine buttons like he'd never seen them before.
"Seoul, born and raised. You?"
"Same! Seoul, I mean. Not originally–well, originally yes, but then we moved around a lot when I was a kid. You know how it is with some families, always packing up and starting over, never staying in one place long enough to make real friends, which is probably why I'm so terrible at small talk and why I'm rambling right now, sorry, I'm doing it again, aren't I?" The words tumbled out of Jisung's mouth like water from a broken dam.
Minho's expression was patient, almost fond. "Just a little. But it's fine, I don't mind."
Jisung's face went tomato red. "Right. Cool. I'll just... coffee. I need coffee."
He practically dove for the coffee machine, hands shaking slightly as he fumbled with his usual mug. Sugar scattered across the counter like snow as he tried to add it with trembling fingers. This was painful to watch.
Jisung, who could handle screaming parents and tantrum-throwing six-year-olds without breaking a sweat, was falling apart over basic coffee preparation. What the hell was that about? Seungmin had never seen Jisung this flustered, not even when Principal Kim had walked in on him teaching fractions using lyrics from explicit rap songs.
Changbin chose that moment to walk in, gym bag slung over his shoulder. He took one look at the scene. Minho was chatting easily with Chan and Felix, and Jisung was having a minor breakdown over coffee preparation.
"Who's the new guy?" His voice carried just a hint of challenge, like he was sizing up competition he hadn't expected to face.
"Lee Minho," Minho said smoothly, extending his hand in greeting. "Fourth grade. You must be the PE teacher everyone mentioned."
"Changbin." They shook hands, and Seungmin noticed Changbin's grip looked unnecessarily firm. "So you're replacing Mrs. Park."
"That's the plan. Hope I can fill her shoes."
"Good. She was ancient anyway." Changbin was blunt, but this felt more aggressive than usual.
"Changbin," Seungmin warned, though he wasn't entirely sure why he felt the need to defend the woman who'd made his life miserable for three years.
"What? It's true. Woman was older than the fucking building. Minho here's probably got fresh ideas, new energy." His eyes flicked to Seungmin. "Speaking of energy, you want me to make you some real coffee?" The offer was casual, but Changbin's attention felt more intense than usual, like he was trying to prove something. Maybe Felix's theory about the massive crush wasn't so far-fetched after all.
Minho laughed. "I'll try to bring some youth to the position."
"I'm sure you will," Felix bit his lip.
Chan elbowed him. "Behave."
The morning routine continued, but something was off. Jisung kept glancing at Minho when he thought no one was looking. His ears were pink, and he knocked over his coffee twice. And when Minho complimented his shirt, Jisung actually giggled.
Giggled.
Han Jisung, who once told a parent to "go fuck themselves" during a conference, giggled like a schoolgirl.
Interesting.
By the end of the week, Seungmin had collected enough data to write a fucking research paper.
Evidence A: Jisung had started caring about his appearance. The man who usually looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards was suddenly showing up in pressed shirts and matching socks.
Evidence B: He'd developed a sudden and inexplicable interest in Minho's teaching methods, asking detailed questions about classroom management techniques, lesson planning strategies, and even bulletin board decoration tips. Jisung had never given a single shit about bulletin boards in the three years Seungmin had known him. His own classroom looked like a tornado had hit a craft store.
Evidence C: The great weather conversation incident.
"Nice day today," Minho had commented casually, glancing out the window at what was, objectively, a perfectly average day.
"Oh, absolutely!" Jisung had replied with the enthusiasm of a man who'd just discovered the cure for cancer. "I love this kind of weather. Not too hot, not too cold, just the right amount of cloud coverage. Did you know there are actually ten different classifications of clouds? Cumulus, stratus, cirrus, nimbostratus..." And he'd continued. For seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds, according to Chan's discreet timing. About fucking clouds. Meteorological patterns. Atmospheric pressure systems.
This was the same man who once told Seungmin that people who made small talk about the weather had no personality and probably collected stamps as a hobby.
Evidence D: The lunch incident.
Minho had glanced over at Jisung's homemade lunch–some kind of rice bowl situation that looked reasonably edible–and made a perfectly innocent comment about it looking delicious.
Jisung had turned the color of a fire truck, knocked over his apple juice, and spent the next ten minutes frantically cleaning up the mess while delivering a rambling monologue about how he wasn't really much of a cook but he tried to eat healthy, you know, for the kids, had to set a good example, not that Minho needed to worry about that kind of thing, he ate perfectly balanced meals all the time, he looked like someone who took excellent care of himself...
It was physically painful to witness. Seungmin had actually felt secondhand embarrassment, which was saying something because his embarrassment threshold was impressively high. It was painful to watch.
Evidence E: The staring.
Jesus Christ, the staring.
Jisung's eyes followed Minho around the room like a lost puppy. When Minho laughed, Jisung smiled. When Minho frowned, Jisung looked concerned. When Minho bent over to pick up dropped papers...
Well. Seungmin wasn't blind.
By Friday afternoon, Seungmin had reached his conclusion.
Han Jisung had a massive, embarrassing, painfully obvious crush on Lee Minho.
And he was going to die alone if someone didn't intervene.
"Felix," Seungmin said, cornering him by the copy machine. "We need to talk."
"Ooh, secret meeting? I love secret meetings."
"Not secret. Private. There's a difference."
"What's up?"
Seungmin looked around, made sure they were alone. "It's about Jisung."
"What about him?"
"He's in love with Minho."
Felix gasped. Actually gasped.
"I knew it! I fucking knew it! The way he looks at him, the stuttering, the stupid weather conversation-"
"You noticed the weather thing too?"
"Everyone noticed. Chan timed it. Seventeen minutes and thirty-two seconds."
"This is serious, Felix."
"I know! It's beautiful! Young love blooming in the workplace!"
"It's pathetic. The man is going to pine away like a Victorian maiden if we don't do something."
Felix's eyes lit up with dangerous enthusiasm. "We?"
"I need your help."
"What kind of help?"
"The matchmaking kind."
"Oh my god, yes. YES. I am so in. What's the plan?"
Seungmin pulled out a notebook. He'd been preparing for this conversation all week.
"Operation Don't Die Alone. Phase one: create opportunities for interaction. Phase two: manufacture romantic situations. Phase three: facilitate confession. Phase four: profit."
"Profit?"
"Metaphorically."
"I love it. It's perfect. It cannot fail."
"Exactly."
Felix clapped his hands together. "When do we start?"
"Monday. But first, we need to establish some ground rules."
"I'm listening."
"No one can know what we're doing. This stays between us."
"Obviously."
"No interference from Chan. He'll try to talk us out of it."
"Chan worries too much," Felix said with a sad sigh.
"And absolutely no direct intervention. We work behind the scenes. Subtle manipulation only."
"Like puppet masters!"
"Exactly like puppet masters."
They shook hands. Felix was practically vibrating with excitement.
"This is going to be amazing. We're going to be the best wingmen in the history of wingmen."
"We're going to save Jisung from a life of loneliness."
"We're going to witness true love!"
"We're going to fix everything."
It was a perfect plan. Foolproof. What could possibly go wrong?
☘︎
Phase 1: Proximity Protocols.
Monday morning arrived with the promise of romantic destiny and the potential for complete disaster. Seungmin had spent the entire weekend perfecting his strategy, mapping out contingencies, and preparing for every possible scenario. Operation Don't Die Alone was about to commence, and he'd never felt more confident about anything in his life.
"Remember," he whispered to Felix as they entered the teachers' lounge, "we're subtle. Professional. We let the romance develop naturally through carefully orchestrated coincidences."
"Got it. Cupid's invisible arrows." Felix made shooting motions with his hands.
"Please don't actually make shooting motions."
"Right, sorry. Stealth mode activated."
The first phase was simple: create opportunities for Jisung and Minho to spend time alone together. Coffee runs seemed like the obvious starting point. Intimate, low-pressure, plenty of opportunities for meaningful conversation about life, dreams, and whether they preferred oat milk or regular milk in their lattes.
"Oh shit," Seungmin announced loudly as Minho mentioned needing coffee. "I completely forgot my wallet at home. Again. I'm so fucking irresponsible with money."
"I can lend you some," Changbin offered immediately, already reaching for his wallet like the aggressively helpful saint he was.
"No! No, that's okay. I should probably just skip the coffee today. Caffeine's bad for you anyway, right?" Seungmin waved his hands dismissively, shooting Felix a meaningful look.
"Actually, I'm feeling really weird about leaving the building today," Felix chimed in, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead like a Victorian lady with the vapors. "I think I might be coming down with something. Something highly contagious. You two should definitely go without me."
Jisung and Minho exchanged a look.
"We could all just drink the shitty lounge coffee," Minho suggested reasonably.
"Absolutely not," Seungmin said, perhaps a bit too forcefully. "You deserve better than that swill. You both do. You should go somewhere nice. Together. Just the two of you. For coffee."
Another one of those looks passed between Jisung and Minho, and Minho's expression was almost... fond? Like he found Jisung's obvious discomfort endearing rather than pathetic. Aww . Anyone who didn't find Jisung pathetic was clearly his other half.
"I mean, if you want to," Jisung stammered, ears turning pink. "We could check out that new place downtown. If you're not busy. Or if you have other plans, that's totally fine too, I don't want to impose–"
"I'd like that," Minho said softly, and there was something in his voice that made Seungmin's chest warm with pride. Phase one was already working.
"Great!" Felix clapped his hands together. "Young love in bloom!"
"Felix," Chan warned from across the room.
"What? I'm just appreciating the beauty of human connection!"
Jisung went even redder, but Minho just smiled. Not the polite smile he used with the principal or the parents, but something warmer, more genuine.
The coffee mission should have been a resounding success. Two attractive people, mutual interest, caffeinated beverages–it was foolproof. But when they returned an hour later, Jisung looked more flustered than ever, and Minho seemed... amused.
"How was it?" Seungmin asked, trying to sound casual.
"Good," Minho replied. "Jisung knows all the best places. He's got excellent taste."
Jisung made a strangled noise and buried his face in his hands. "I spilled coffee on myself. Twice."
"It was endearing," Minho said, and the fondness in his voice was so obvious that Seungmin wondered how the hell Jisung wasn't picking up on it.
Maybe Minho was just being nice. Some people were naturally kind to disaster-prone colleagues.
The coffee runs continued throughout the week, with Seungmin developing increasingly creative reasons to avoid going himself. Food poisoning, forgotten meetings, sudden onset of social anxiety. His excuses became more elaborate and less believable as the days went on.
"I'm pretty sure Seungmin's having some kind of breakdown," he overheard Chan telling Felix. "Yesterday, he claimed he was allergic to coffee shops."
"He's fine," Felix replied airily. "He's just being supportive of true love."
"By pretending to have developed multiple chronic illnesses?"
"Everyone expresses support differently."
The coffee runs were producing results. Jisung and Minho seemed comfortable together, talking and laughing, but there was no dramatic confession of feelings, no passionate declarations, no kissing in the rain outside the café.
It was time to escalate to Phase Two.
☘︎
Phase Two: Project Partnership Engineering.
The school talent show committee seemed like a gift from the matchmaking gods. It required collaboration, creativity, and long hours working together in close quarters. Perfect for building romantic tension.
"I think Jisung and Minho would be perfect for the talent show organization committee," Seungmin announced during the weekly staff meeting. "They're our most creative and organized teachers."
This was a complete lie. Jisung's idea of organization was color-coding his chaos, and his creativity mostly involved teaching math through rap lyrics. But Principal Kim didn't need to know that.
"Wonderful suggestion!" Principal Kim beamed. "Jisung, Minho, are you interested?"
Jisung looked like a deer caught in headlights, but Minho smiled and nodded. "Sounds fun. We'd love to help."
We. He'd said we liked it was the most natural thing in the world. Seungmin was a genius.
"Great! You two can start planning next week. I'll leave the details to you."
After the meeting, Seungmin watched as Jisung and Minho huddled together, discussing logistics. Well, Minho discussed logistics while Jisung nodded frantically and occasionally made squeaking noises of agreement.
"This is perfect," Seungmin whispered to Felix. "Forced proximity, shared goals, creative collaboration. They'll be planning their wedding by Christmas."
"Should we spy on their meetings?" Felix asked hopefully.
"Absolutely not. We're professionals, not stalkers."
They lasted exactly two days before they started stalking them.
The first planning meeting was held in Minho's classroom after school. Seungmin and Felix positioned themselves strategically in the hallway, pretending to have urgent business with the bulletin boards.
"Can you hear anything?" Felix whispered.
"Shh. Minho's talking about booking the auditorium."
"That's not romantic."
"Give it time."
Through the door, they could hear Minho's calm voice explaining scheduling conflicts while Jisung made occasional noises of agreement. It sounded more like a business meeting than a romantic rendezvous.
"Maybe we should-"
"Shh!"
"-think about having a theme," Minho was saying. "Something that ties all the acts together."
"Themes are good," Jisung replied, his voice slightly higher than normal. "I like themes. Very... thematic."
There was a pause, then what sounded suspiciously like fond laughter from Minho.
"Are you okay?" Minho asked, and his voice was soft, almost tender. "You seem nervous."
"I'm not nervous!" Jisung squeaked. "Why would I be nervous? Just because we're working together alone after hours in your classroom doesn't mean I'm nervous. That would be stupid. I'm not stupid."
"No," Minho agreed quietly, "you're not stupid at all."
"They're in love," Felix whispered dramatically.
"Shut up, I'm trying to listen."
"-could do a spring theme," Jisung was saying, his voice marginally calmer. "New beginnings, growth, that sort of thing."
"I like that," Minho replied. "New beginnings."
Seungmin felt a surge of pride. His plan was working perfectly.
The second planning meeting, however, was a disaster.
It wasn't supposed to be a disaster. It was supposed to be another step toward inevitable romantic bliss. But Jisung, apparently overwhelmed by the prospect of extended alone time with Minho, had what could only be described as a complete nervous breakdown.
"I don't know anything about talent shows!" he wailed, pacing frantically around Minho's classroom. "I can't organize things! I can barely organize my own life! Why did Seungmin suggest me for this? This is a mistake. A huge, embarrassing mistake."
Minho watched him pace with an expression of patient amusement, chin propped on his hand like he was watching an entertaining performance.
"Jisung," he said gently, "it's okay. We don't have to solve everything today."
"But we do! The show is in six weeks! Six weeks, Minho! Do you know how fast six weeks go by? Like that!" He snapped his fingers. "Gone! And we'll have nothing! No theme, no schedule, no acts, no-"
"Hey." Minho stood up and moved closer, his voice taking on a soothing quality that Seungmin had never heard before. "Look at me."
Jisung stopped pacing and turned, his eyes wide and slightly wild.
"We've got this," Minho said firmly. "Trust me."
And somehow, impossibly, Jisung's shoulders relaxed. His breathing slowed. The panic in his eyes faded into something softer, more trusting.
"Okay," he whispered. "If you say so."
Maybe it wasn't much of a disaster after all.
If Mohammed wouldn't go to the mountain, then the mountain would come to Mohammed. Or in this case, if Jisung was too nervous to make a move, then Seungmin would literally move him closer to the object of his affection.
The teachers' lunch table was a delicate ecosystem of established territories and unspoken rules. Chan and Felix always sat together, usually feeding each other disgusting health food and making heart eyes. Changbin typically claimed the spot closest to wherever Seungmin ended up. The other teachers, like the arts professor, Hyunjin, and the religion professor, Jeongin, sat at the back. Nobody wanted to be near those two; God knew what kind of weird kinks they had. Literally.
Seungmin's mission was simple: engineer a seating arrangement that would place Jisung and Minho near, preferably across from each other, for optimal eye contact.
"Felix," he whispered as they entered the teachers' lounge for lunch, "remember the plan. You take the seat next to Chan, I'll sit across from you, and we'll save spots for the lovebirds."
"Got it. Operation Musical Chairs is a go."
They moved with precision, claiming their strategic positions and placing bags on the adjacent chairs.
"These seats taken?" Changbin asked, approaching with his usual helpful smile and a lunch bag that probably contained perfectly balanced macros.
"Actually, yes," Seungmin said quickly. "We're saving them for Jisung and Minho. Team building exercise. Very important for staff morale."
Changbin's smile faltered slightly. "Oh. Right. I'll just... sit over there, then." He retreated to the far end of the table, looking disappointed, and Seungmin felt a pang of something that might have been guilt.
Jisung and Minho entered together, deep in conversation about something that was making Jisung gesticulate wildly with his sandwich.
"Over here!" Felix called out, patting the saved chairs. "We saved you spots!"
They approached the table, and Seungmin held his breath. This was it. The perfect setup. Close proximity, forced interaction, optimal conditions for romantic tension.
Jisung sat down across from Minho, exactly as planned. Perfect.
"So," Seungmin said, trying to sound casual, "how's the talent show planning going?"
"Good," Minho replied, unwrapping what looked like a homemade sandwich. Of course, he made his own lunch. Probably grew the vegetables himself. "We've got most of the acts lined up."
"Jisung's been incredibly helpful," he added, and Jisung nearly choked on his drink.
"I haven't done anything," Jisung protested, his face going pink. "Minho's doing all the work. I just sit there and nod."
"You do more than nod," Minho said, and there was something in his voice–warmth, affection, like he genuinely enjoyed Jisung's company even when Jisung was being a disaster.
Seungmin watched as Minho's eyes lingered on Jisung's face, taking in the flustered expression with what could only be described as fondness. There was definitely something there. Minho was clearly smitten, even if he was being subtle about it.
The lunch conversation flowed naturally, with Minho asking thoughtful questions about everyone's classes and Jisung gradually relaxing into the familiar group dynamic. Everything was going perfectly.
Until Jisung reached for the salt and knocked over his entire bottle of water, sending it cascading across the table and directly into Minho's lap.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, I'm so sorry!" Jisung jumped up, frantically grabbing napkins while Minho just sat there, soaked and laughing.
"It's fine," Minho assured him, accepting the handful of napkins. "Really, don't worry about it."
But Jisung was already spiraling into full panic mode, dabbing at Minho's wet clothes with increasing desperation.
"I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry, oh god, your shirt is probably ruined-"
"Jisung." Minho caught his wrist, stilling his frantic movements. "It's just water. It'll dry."
The touch was gentle, almost intimate, and Jisung went completely still. For a moment, they just looked at each other, Minho's hand wrapped around Jisung's wrist, something charged passing between them.
Then Jisung seemed to remember where he was and jerked back like he'd been burned.
"Right. Yes. Water. It dries. That's what water does." He sat down heavily, looking like he wanted the earth to swallow him whole.
From across the table, Seungmin made notes. Physical contact: check. Meaningful eye contact: check. Obvious sexual tension: double check.
His plan was working perfectly.
The annual school sports day was a tradition that everyone endured rather than enjoyed. Teachers were required to participate in various team-building exercises designed to boost morale and provide entertainment for the students, who took sadistic pleasure in watching their normally composed educators make fools of themselves in public.
This year's activities included a three-legged race, which presented the perfect opportunity for engineered romantic contact.
"I'll handle the partner assignments," Seungmin announced to Felix as they watched the PE teacher set up the equipment. "This is our chance for some serious romantic progress."
"What if they get paired with other people?"
"They won't. I'm going to rig the drawing."
Felix looked impressed. "That's deviously brilliant."
"I have my moments."
The partner selection was supposed to be random, with everyone drawing names from a hat. What actually happened was Seungmin performing sleight of hand that would have impressed a professional magician.
"Jisung and Minho!" he announced, pulling their names from the hat with Oscar-worthy surprise. "What are the odds?"
Jisung went pale. "Oh. Um. Hi, partner."
"Looking forward to it," Minho replied with a smile that seemed almost... knowing.
The three-legged race was held on the school's front lawn, with students cheering from the sidelines and parents taking photos. Jisung and Minho stood at the starting line, their legs bound together with a ribbon, both looking remarkably calm considering they were about to make spectacles of themselves.
"You ready for this?" Minho asked quietly. Zimzalabim.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Jisung replied, though his voice was shaky.
"Just follow my lead," Minho said, and there was something in his tone that suggested this wasn't the first time he'd given Jisung that particular piece of advice.
The starting whistle blew, and chaos ensued.
Most of the teacher pairs immediately fell into disarray, stumbling and laughing as they tried to coordinate their movements. Chan and Felix were doing surprisingly well, moving in sync like they'd practiced. The older teachers had given up entirely and were walking at a leisurely pace, chatting about weekend plans.
And then there was Jisung and Minho.
For the first few steps, they moved together beautifully, their strides matching perfectly. Minho's arm was around Jisung's waist, steadying him, and Jisung was leaning into the contact with natural ease.
"They're doing really well," Felix commented, sounding almost surprised.
"Too well," Seungmin muttered, watching as they pulled ahead of the other teams.
That's when disaster struck.
Jisung, perhaps emboldened by their early success, tried to speed up. His foot caught on an uneven patch of grass, and he went down hard, taking Minho with him in a tangle of limbs and cursing.
They hit the ground with a solid thud, rolling slightly before coming to rest with Jisung on top of Minho, both of them covered in grass stains and looking dazed.
For a moment, they just lay there, staring at each other. Jisung's face was inches from Minho's, their bodies pressed together in a way that would have been scandalous if not for the public setting and the fact that half the school was watching.
"Are you okay?" Minho asked softly, his hand coming up to brush grass from Jisung's hair.
Jisung's face went nuclear red. "I'm so sorry, I'm such a disaster, I can't believe I-"
"You're not a disaster," Minho said, his voice barely audible over the noise of the crowd. "You're perfect."
From his position on the sidelines, Seungmin could see there was something in the way Minho was looking at Jisung, something tender and protective and completely, utterly smitten.
This was it. This was the moment. Surely Jisung would finally realize that Minho was interested, that all of his awkward fumbling was actually charming, that-
"I should get off you," Jisung squeaked, scrambling to his feet so quickly that he nearly fell over again.
Minho sat up more slowly, accepting Jisung's offered hand with a bemused smile. "Thanks for the soft landing."
The moment was broken, but Seungmin had seen enough. Minho was definitely interested.
Now he just had to figure out how to make Jisung see it, too.
☘︎
Phase 3: The Escalation Phase.
Three weeks into Operation Don't Die Alone, and Seungmin was starting to feel like a general whose troops kept missing the target. Not that his plan wasn't working–there were clear signs of progress. Jisung and Minho were spending more time together; they seemed comfortable in each other's presence, and there were definite moments of what could only be described as romantic tension.
The problem was that neither of them seemed willing to make the next fucking move.
"They're being too polite," Seungmin complained to Felix during their Monday morning strategy meeting, which consisted of lurking by the copy machine and pretending to have urgent business with the toner cartridge.
"Maybe they're just taking things slow," Felix suggested optimistically. "Some people like to build a foundation of friendship before jumping into romance."
"Some people are cowards," Seungmin corrected. "At this rate, they'll be exchanging meaningful glances until they're both dead from old age."
It was time to take more aggressive action. Subtle manipulation clearly wasn't enough for these two disasters. If they wouldn't create their own romantic moments, then Seungmin would create the moments for them.
The monthly staff bowling night had been Seungmin's idea, though he'd convinced Principal Kim it was for "team building and morale improvement." In reality, it was all part of Phase Three. Alcohol-Assisted Confession Protocol.
"The plan is simple," he explained to Felix as they walked into Sunset Lanes, a bowling alley that had seen better days and smelled like decades of spilled beer. "We get them tipsy enough to lower their inhibitions but not so drunk that they make terrible decisions they'll regret in the morning."
"What's the optimal level of intoxication for romantic confessions?" Felix asked with the serious tone of someone conducting legitimate scientific research.
"Two and a half drinks. Enough to boost confidence, not enough to cause projectile vomiting."
The bowling alley was exactly as depressing as Seungmin had hoped. Dim lighting and cheesy music from the eighties. Perfect for his purposes.
He'd strategically arranged the seating so that Jisung and Minho would end up sharing a booth, while he and Felix positioned themselves for optimal surveillance from the adjacent table.
"This is cozy," Minho commented as he slid into the booth next to Jisung, their shoulders brushing in the cramped space. Jisung went slightly pink but didn't move away. Progress.
The first hour went according to plan. Everyone ordered drinks, the competitive atmosphere loosened inhibitions, and Jisung actually managed to have a conversation with Minho without stammering or spilling anything on himself.
"You're not bad at this," Minho said as Jisung managed to knock down seven pins on his turn.
"Beginner's luck," Jisung replied, but he was smiling, more relaxed than Seungmin had seen him in weeks.
"I don't think it's luck," Minho said quietly, and there was something in his voice that made Seungmin lean forward in his seat.
They could confess right now. The moment he'd been orchestrating for weeks. All the careful planning, the strategic manipulation. It was finally paying off.
But then fucking Changbin showed up.
"Sorry I'm late," he announced, sliding into the booth across from Seungmin. "Got held up at the gym. Did I miss anything good?"
"Just Jisung discovering he has hidden bowling talents," Seungmin replied, trying not to sound irritated by the interruption.
Changbin ordered a beer and immediately launched into a detailed analysis of everyone's bowling technique, complete with suggestions for improvement and offers of personal coaching. His attention kept drifting to Seungmin, offering to help with his form by holding his waist, suggesting they practice together sometime, and generally being helpful in the most distracting way possible.
Meanwhile, at the other table, Jisung and Minho were deep in conversation about something that was making them both laugh. Minho had moved closer at some point, close enough that their knees were touching under the table, and neither of them seemed inclined to create more space.
"They're making progress," Felix observed, following Seungmin's gaze.
"Finally. Maybe the alcohol is working."
But as the night progressed, it became clear that alcohol had different effects on different people.
Chan became more affectionate, spending most of the evening with his arm around Felix. Felix became more dramatic, treating every strike like a personal victory worthy of celebration. Changbin became more talkative, regaling everyone with stories about his college bowling league.
And Jisung became more anxious.
"I should probably head home soon," he announced after his third beer, fidgeting with his empty bottle. "Early day tomorrow."
"The night is young!" Felix protested. "We haven't even gotten to karaoke yet!"
"There's karaoke?" Jisung looked genuinely terrified.
"No karaoke," Chan said firmly, shooting Felix a warning look. "We're here to bowl and socialize, not traumatize our colleagues."
Minho stood up. "I should probably call it a night, too. Early meetings tomorrow."
Seungmin's heart sank. What were they doing? Where were they going? The magical evening where everything was supposed to come together, where liquid courage led to heartfelt confessions and the beginning of a beautiful romance.
Instead, his targets were retreating to their respective corners like skittish cats.
"I can give you a ride," Minho offered to Jisung, and Seungmin's spirits lifted slightly. Alone time in a car could still salvage the evening.
"Oh, you don't have to do that," Jisung protested, but he didn't sound like he really meant it.
"It's no trouble. I'm going that direction anyway."
They left together, and Seungmin watched through the window as they walked to Minho's car, still talking.
"Think something will happen?" Felix asked hopefully.
"Maybe. Car rides can be intimate. Close quarters, good music, potential for meaningful conversation."
"Or awkward silence."
"Don't be negative. This could be the breakthrough we've been waiting for."
The next morning, Jisung arrived at school looking exactly the same as always. No glow of newfound love, no satisfied smirk of someone who'd finally gotten what they wanted, no obvious signs that his life had changed dramatically overnight.
Disappointing.
Felix's Christmas season inspiration struck during their lunch break in early December, when the halls were already decorated with student artwork depicting Santa Claus in various states of artistic interpretation.
"Mistletoe," he announced, his tone suggesting the news was nothing short of monumental. "It's traditional, it's seasonal, and it's basically a legal excuse for kissing."
"That's actually brilliant," Seungmin admitted. "Classic, effective, and we can claim plausible deniability if anyone asks questions."
"Exactly. We're just spreading holiday cheer."
They spent their weekend shopping for supplies and mapping out strategic locations. The teachers' lounge doorway was an obvious choice; it was a high-traffic area, with multiple opportunities for encounters. The supply closet entrance offered more privacy for intimate moments. The copy machine area provided the perfect excuse for lingering nearby.
Felix proved surprisingly skilled at covert decoration installation, climbing on chairs and strategically placing sprigs of mistletoe.
"This is either going to work perfectly or get us both fired," Seungmin observed, watching Felix secure the final piece above the coffee machine.
"Worth the risk for true love."
The first week of their mistletoe campaign yielded mixed results. Chan and Felix managed to trigger every single installation multiple times. Principal Kim walked under the supply closet mistletoe with the custodian, leading to an awkward moment that nobody wanted to acknowledge. But Jisung and Minho seemed to have developed supernatural mistletoe avoidance abilities.
"It's like they can sense it," Seungmin complained to Felix after a week of near-misses and frustrating coincidences. "Every time one of them heads toward a mistletoe zone, the other one goes in the opposite direction."
"Maybe they're not comfortable with public displays of affection," Felix suggested.
"They don't need to make out in front of everyone, just a quick kiss."
Week two brought more disappointment. Minho walked under the doorway mistletoe at least six times, but always when Jisung was in his classroom or the bathroom, or anywhere else. Jisung lingered by the copy machine for extended periods, but Minho was invariably busy with meetings or parent conferences.
It was like they were actively avoiding each other, which made no sense given the progress they'd seemed to make during their committee meetings and coffee runs.
The only successful mistletoe encounter of the entire campaign involved Changbin and Seungmin. Changbin had blushed furiously and delivered a quick, soft peck to Seungmin's lips that left him feeling strangely warm and confused about his own feelings.
But that wasn't the point of the exercise.
By the third week, Seungmin was ready to abandon the mistletoe strategy entirely. It was clear that traditional romantic manipulation wasn't going to work on these two.
They needed a grand gesture.
The idea came to Seungmin during another sleepless night of strategic planning. If subtle romantic engineering wasn't working, maybe what Jisung needed was a catalyst. Something to make him realize that his window of opportunity was closing, that he needed to act before it was too late.
"What if Jisung thought Minho was interested in someone else?" he proposed to Felix during their morning coffee. "Jealousy is a powerful motivator."
"Who would be the fake rival?" Felix asked, immediately intrigued.
"Me."
Felix nearly choked on his latte. "You?"
"Think about it. I'm attractive, intelligent, and available. If Jisung thought I was making a move on Minho, it might finally push him to make his own move."
"That's... actually not terrible. But are you prepared to fake-flirt with Minho? Because you're not exactly known for your acting skills."
"How hard can it be? I'll compliment his teaching methods, ask about his weekend plans, maybe suggest we grab coffee together. Nothing too obvious, just enough to make Jisung realize he's got competition."
The plan required careful execution. Too subtle, and Jisung wouldn't notice. Too obvious, and Minho might actually think Seungmin was interested, which could lead to all sorts of uncomfortable complications.
Seungmin started small.
"Any exciting plans for Saturday?" he asked during Friday's lunch break, making sure Jisung was within earshot.
"Nothing too exciting. Probably just catch up on grading, maybe check out that new art exhibition downtown."
"The contemporary sculpture thing? I was thinking of going to that too. We should go together."
From the corner of his eye, Seungmin saw Jisung's head snap up from his sandwich.
"That sounds nice," Minho replied politely. "But I actually already have plans to go with someone."
Wait. What?
"Oh," Seungmin said, trying to hide his surprise. "Anyone I know?"
Minho's smile was almost amused. "Just a friend."
Jisung was staring at his lunch like it contained the secrets of the universe, his ears bright red. Perfect. The jealousy plan was working exactly as intended.
Seungmin escalated his fake flirtation over the following weeks. More compliments, more suggestions for shared activities, more obvious interest in Minho's personal life.
And it was working. Jisung was definitely noticing. He became more attentive whenever Seungmin and Minho were talking, hovering nearby during their conversations, finding excuses to interrupt or insert himself into their discussions.
"Seungmin's being awfully friendly with Minho lately," Chan observed during one of their morning coffee sessions.
"He's just being welcoming to the new teacher," Felix replied innocently. "Very professional."
"It doesn't look professional. It looks like flirting."
"Seungmin doesn't flirt. He's too emotionally constipated for flirting."
"I can hear you," Seungmin said dryly.
"We're having a private conversation about your romantic inadequacies," Felix replied. "Mind your own business."
The fake flirtation strategy reached its peak during the school's holiday party, a mandatory event held in the gymnasium with cheap decorations and a playlist that hadn't been updated since the nineties.
Seungmin positioned himself near Minho at the refreshment table, making conversation about the quality of the punch and the questionable music choices.
"This song was old when I was in high school," he commented as a ballad from the eighties filled the air.
"At least it's not Christmas music," Minho replied. "I heard 'Jingle Bell Rock' seventeen times at the grocery store yesterday."
"The holidays bring out the worst in retail music programming." Seungmin moved slightly closer, close enough that their shoulders almost touched. "Want to dance? If we're going to suffer through terrible music, we might as well make the most of it."
It was a calculated risk. Public enough to make sure Jisung noticed, but casual enough to maintain plausible deniability.
Minho hesitated for a moment, his eyes scanning the room briefly before settling back on Seungmin. "Why not? But I should warn you, I'm not much of a dancer."
This was a complete lie. Minho moved with the kind of natural grace that suggested he was probably excellent at dancing, among other physical activities. But Seungmin played along, letting Minho lead as they swayed to the music in a way that was perfectly appropriate for colleagues having innocent fun at a work event.
From across the room, he could see Jisung watching them.
Perfect.
The song ended, and they separated with polite smiles and casual thanks. Mission accomplished.
"That was nice," Minho said quietly, and there was something in his voice that Seungmin couldn't quite identify.
"Yeah, it was."
As they walked back toward their respective groups, Seungmin caught Jisung's eye across the room. For a moment, they just looked at each other, and Seungmin saw something like confusion in his friend's expression.
Any day now, there would be a dramatic confession, a heartfelt declaration, the beginning of the beautiful romance that Seungmin had worked so hard for.
Any day now.
By January, Seungmin was forced to confront an uncomfortable truth: his plan wasn't working.
Three months of careful manipulation, strategic interference, and romantic engineering had yielded minimal results. Jisung and Minho were comfortable together, and they clearly enjoyed each other's company. But there had been no confession. Just two people who seemed perfectly content to maintain whatever weird friendship-adjacent relationship they'd developed.
"Maybe they're just not that into each other," Felix suggested during one of their increasingly desperate strategy sessions.
"That's impossible. I've seen the way they look at each other. The chemistry is obvious."
"Maybe they're both just really, really shy."
"Jisung spent twenty minutes explaining cloud formations. That's not shy, that's pathological social anxiety masquerading as meteorological expertise."
"What if they're waiting for the right moment?"
"I've created seventeen right moments. Coffee shops, project meetings, mistletoe installations, love letters, fake jealousy scenarios. If they were going to make a move, they would have made it by now."
Felix looked thoughtful. "What if there's something we don't know? Some complication we haven't considered?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know. Maybe Jisung's a virgin or in a relationship already."
Seungmin laughed. "Jisung? In a relationship? The man can barely string together a coherent sentence around attractive people. When would he have time to date?"
"What about Minho?"
"He said he was single on his first day."
"No, he didn't. I asked if he was single, but he never actually answered. The conversation got interrupted."
Seungmin paused, thinking back to that first morning. Felix had asked about Minho's relationship status, but now that he thought about it, Minho had, in fact, not answered the question.
Huh. Interesting.
"Even if he is seeing someone, it can't be serious. He's clearly interested in Jisung. I've seen the way he looks at him."
"Maybe he's just being friendly."
"Nobody is that fucking friendly. Trust me, there's something there."
But as February arrived with its promise of Valentine's Day romance and seasonal affective disorder, Seungmin was beginning to wonder if his matchmaking skills were as sharp as he'd thought.
Maybe he'd misread the situation. Maybe what he'd interpreted as romantic tension was just two awkward people being awkward together. Maybe his carefully orchestrated romantic scenarios had accomplished nothing except making his own life unnecessarily complicated.
And maybe, just maybe, he was a terrible wingman who should stick to teaching fifth-graders and leave other people's love lives alone. Hah, as if.
There had to be something he was missing. Some crucial piece of information that would make everything fall into place.
He just had to figure out what it was.
The answer came on a normal Friday, in the teachers' lounge. The coffee machine was making that dying whale sound again. Seungmin had been ignoring it for twenty minutes when Jisung burst through the door like he'd just won the fucking lottery.
"Jesus Christ, what's gotten into you?" Seungmin looked up from his stack of ungraded papers. "Did you finally murder one of your students?"
"Better." Jisung was practically glowing. Actual glowing. Like some kind of deranged Disney princess.
Felix looked up from his corner, where he'd been stress-eating Chan's leftover sandwich. "You look like you just got laid."
"Felix!" Chan smacked his boyfriend's arm.
"What? He does!"
Jisung pulled out an envelope from his jacket pocket. Expensive-looking paper, elegant calligraphy, the kind of shit rich people used to make poor people feel inadequate.
"For you." He placed it ceremoniously on the table in front of Seungmin.
Seungmin stared at it like it might explode. "What is this? Are you firing me? Because I'm pretty sure that's not how firing works."
"Just open it."
Seungmin picked up the envelope, examining it with suspicion. "If this is some pyramid scheme bullshit, I swear to God-"
"It's not a pyramid scheme."
"That's exactly what someone in a pyramid scheme would say."
"Open the fucking envelope, Seungmin."
Inside was a card. Fancy card. The kind that probably cost more than Seungmin's weekly grocery budget. He read it once. Twice. Three times.
"What is this?"
"You're cordially invited to my wedding."
Silence. The kind of silence that comes right before someone gets murdered.
"...What?"
"You're invited to my wedding...?"
Seungmin blinked. "...your what?"
"My wedding...?"
"I'm sorry, your what?"
Jisung laughed nervously, looking around the room like he was expecting hidden cameras to pop out. "I don't get it. What's confusing about this?"
"No, I don't get it. What the fuck do you mean 'your wedding'?"
"I'm getting married and I'm inviting you to attend... What is it that you don't understand?"
Felix had stopped chewing. Chan had stopped breathing. The coffee machine had stopped making dying whale noises, probably out of shock.
"Since when were you dating someone?!" Seungmin's voice cracked like he was thirteen again.
Jisung shrugged. "I'm very private about my affairs, and you've never really asked, plus... I thought you'd assumed..."
"How? How would I have known? I've been shipping you with Minho since he got here! I was trying to set you guys up, and I'm pretty sure you knew that."
"Yeah, I did know. That's why I thought you assumed. You were forcing us to be closer..." Jisung paused, tilting his head. "Wait, who do you think I'm marrying?"
The blood drained from Seungmin's face. "No."
"Yeah."
"Shut up. No, you're not."
"Yeah."
"Shut up. You're telling me there was no need for me to even get involved in the first place?! There was no need for me to be the most considerate coworker ever and come up with the best, most possibly successful plan ever so that you don't die alone?!"
"I never said I was single."
"How long have you been together?"
"Five years. I've known him longer than you."
Seungmin stood up so fast his chair fell backward. "This is outrageous, Han Jisung. I'll never forgive you."
"I'm sorry..." Jisung looked around again, "You are coming though, right?"
Before Seungmin could answer, Felix slammed his hands on the table with unnecessary force, making everyone jump.
"FIVE YEARS?! We spent THREE MONTHS planning!"
"We researched his favorite foods!"
"We learned his schedule by heart!"
"We memorized his coffee order!"
"We found out his fucking birthday!"
Chan patted Felix's shoulder. "Babe, maybe calm down-"
"No! We SUFFERED for this! Do you know how many brain cells I lost coming up with romantic scenarios?!"
"What's all the shouting about?" Changbin poked his head through the door.
"Jisung's been lying to us for three months!" Felix shrieked.
"About what?"
"He's marrying Minho!"
"Oh, you mean Jisung and Minho? Yeah, they've been together forever." Changbin walked over to the coffee machine.
Seungmin and Felix turned to stare at him with matching expressions of betrayal.
"YOU KNEW?!"
"Everyone knows. They carpool together every day."
"We thought they were being environmentally conscious!" Seungmin threw his hands up.
"And they share lunches," Changbin added helpfully.
"We thought Minho was just being nice!"
"They have matching phone cases."
"We thought it was a coincidence!"
"They went to Busan together last weekend."
"WE THOUGHT IT WAS A WORK TRIP!"
Chan cleared his throat. "Actually, I knew too."
Felix whipped around to face his boyfriend. "You WHAT?"
"They're not exactly subtle. Minho calls him 'baby' when he thinks no one's listening."
"I've never heard him call Jisung baby!"
"Because you're loud as fuck. They stop talking when you're around."
Changbin opened one of the cabinets to take out some sugar, continuing to make his coffee. "Are we talking about the wedding? Finally! Minho showed me the ring right after New Year's."
"THE RING?!" Felix looked like he was about to pass out.
"There was a ring? There's been a ring this whole time?!" Seungmin clutched his chest dramatically.
"We got engaged at Christmas. I posted about it on Insta," Jisung said, like this was totally normal information to casually drop.
"I don't follow your personal Instagram!"
"You liked the post."
"I like all posts! It's called being supportive! I don't actually look at them!"
"It was a picture of the ring."
"I thought it was food! You're always posting pictures of food!"
Felix grabbed Chan's arm. "Show me. Show me the post right now."
Chan pulled out his phone and scrolled through Instagram. "Here." He turned the screen toward Felix.
There it was. Jisung and Minho, both grinning like idiots, Minho's hand extended to show off a gold ring. The caption read: "He said yes! 💍 Can't wait to spend forever with my bug."
"BUG?!" Felix screeched. "You call each other pet names?!"
"That's... that's actually really sweet," Seungmin said quietly, then caught himself. "NO! I'm not being supportive right now! I'm being betrayed!"
"Look, I'm sorry we didn't make a big announcement," Jisung said, "but we're not really into PDA at work. It's unprofessional."
"Unprofessional?!" Seungmin gestured wildly at Chan and Felix, who were currently sharing the same chair. "Those two fuck in the supply closet!"
"We do not!" Felix protested.
"You literally got caught making out by the copy machine last week!"
"That was... research."
"Research for what?"
"Human anatomy!"
"You teach kindergartners!"
Chan coughed. "So, uh, when's the wedding?"
"Next month," Jisung said. "Small ceremony. Just family and close friends."
"And we're close friends?" Seungmin's voice got small.
"Of course you are, you idiot. Why do you think I'm inviting you?"
"But I've been trying to set you up with your own boyfriend for three months. I organized study sessions! I made you work late together!"
"Yeah, that was weird," Jisung laughed. "Minho kept asking why you were being so nice to him."
"I bought him coffee!"
"He noticed."
"I complimented his teaching!"
"He was confused but flattered."
"I gave him my parking spot!"
"He felt guilty about that for weeks."
Seungmin sat down heavily. "So the whole time, you two were just... what? Playing along?"
"We thought it was sweet. Misguided, but sweet."
"Misguided?!"
"You wrote him a love letter, Seungmin. In my handwriting."
"Felix helped!"
"I did help!" Felix raised his hand proudly. "I used my best romantic vocabulary!"
"Your romantic vocabulary is shit," Chan said fondly.
"Hey! I used 'ethereal' in that letter!"
"You spelled it wrong."
"The sentiment was there!"
"You're a teacher, how do you not know how to spell 'ethereal'?"
Changbin, who had been quietly making coffee this entire time, finally turned around. "So are we going to talk about the bachelor party or what?"
Everyone froze.
"There's a bachelor party?" Seungmin asked weakly.
"Next weekend. Minho's organizing it."
"Minho's organizing his own bachelor party?"
"No, idiot. They're having separate ones."
"Oh." Seungmin paused. "Are we invited to that too?"
"Of course you're invited. Who else is going to make sure Jisung doesn't do anything stupid?"
"I don't do stupid things!"
"You got drunk at the Christmas party and tried to karaoke 'My Heart Will Go On' in three different languages," Felix pointed out.
"That was art!"
"It wasn't very nice."
"For anyone involved," Chan added.
"Even the janitor looked disturbed," Changbin said. "And that man has seen everything."
Seungmin looked around the room at his coworkers, his friends.
"Okay, fine. I'll come to your stupid wedding."
"And the bachelor party?"
"And the bachelor party."
"And you'll give a speech?"
"Don't push it."
Jisung grinned. "I already wrote you down for a speech."
"I hate you."
"You love me."
"I tolerate you."
"You spent three months trying to get me laid."
"I spent three months trying to get you laid by someone you were already fucking!"
"Language!" Chan said automatically.
"Oh, fuck off, Chan. Your boyfriend just spent ten minutes screaming about love letters."
Felix crossed his arms. "They were good love letters."
"They were terrible love letters," Jisung said. "But Minho kept them."
"He kept them?" Felix's expression softened.
"He keeps everything. He's sentimental like that."
"Aww," Felix cooed. "That's actually really-"
"Don't," Seungmin warned. "Don't start getting emotional about this. I'm still processing the betrayal."
"What betrayal?" Minho's voice came from the doorway. "Are we talking about my surprise party? Because Jisung already ruined that."
"I didn't ruin anything!"
"You literally just told them about the bachelor party!"
"That's different!"
"Is it?"
Everyone turned to look at Minho, who was standing in the doorway with his arms full of papers and a coffee mug that definitely belonged to Seungmin.
"Is that my mug?"
"The blue one? Yeah. Jisung said you wouldn't mind."
"I always mind!"
"I'll wash it."
"You better."
Minho looked around the room, taking in everyone's expressions. "So... they know?"
"They know."
"About the wedding?"
"About everything."
"Ah." Minho nodded solemnly. "Are they mad?"
"Felix cried."
"I didn't cry!"
"You're crying right now."
"These are angry tears!"
"Sure they are, babe." Chan rubbed Felix's back.
Minho walked over and sat down next to Jisung, automatically reaching for his hand. It was such a natural gesture that Seungmin wondered how the fuck he'd missed it for three months.
"So," Minho said, "bachelor party next weekend. You're all invited. Fair warning: Jisung's brother is planning it, so it's going to be embarrassing."
"How embarrassing?" Seungmin asked suspiciously.
"Karaoke embarrassing."
"I can handle karaoke."
"Costume karaoke."
"...I can handle costume karaoke."
"Costume karaoke with themes."
"What kind of themes?"
"Love songs through the decades,"
Seungmin put his head in his hands. "I'm going to need so much alcohol for this."
"Already covered," Changbin said cheerfully. "I'm bringing the good stuff."
"Define 'good stuff.'"
"The stuff that makes you forget embarrassing things."
"Perfect."
Felix wiped his eyes. "Okay, I'm not angry anymore. I'm excited. This is going to be the best wedding ever."
"It's going to be a disaster," Seungmin said.
"The best disaster ever," Felix corrected.
"I can live with that," Jisung said.
"Good," Minho said, "because it's too late to change your mind now. I already ordered the flowers."
"You ordered flowers?"
"Someone had to. You would have forgotten."
"I wouldn't have forgotten!"
"You forgot your own birthday last year."
"That's different!"
"Is it?"
"Alright," Seungmin said, standing up and straightening his shoulders. "If I'm going to be the best man at this clusterfuck, I need to know everything. Timeline, guest list, seating arrangements, emergency contact information-"
"Who said you're the best man?" Jisung asked.
Seungmin stopped mid-gesture. "I... what?"
"I already asked Changbin."
"You asked CHANGBIN?!"
"He asked first."
"I tried to get you laid for three months!"
"With my own boyfriend!"
"The effort still counts!"
Minho patted Seungmin's shoulder sympathetically. "You can be a groomsman."
"A groomsman," Seungmin repeated flatly.
"The best groomsman," Felix offered helpfully.
"There's no such thing as 'best groomsman.' That defeats the entire purpose of having a best man!"
"You can give a speech anyway," Jisung said.
"I don't want to give a speech anymore."
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't."
"You're already planning it in your head."
Seungmin paused. He was already planning it in his head.
"Fine. But I'm going to roast the shit out of both of you."
"Wouldn't expect anything less," Minho said.
"Good." Seungmin sat back down. "Now, about this bachelor party..."
And as the conversation devolved into arguments about karaoke songs and whether or not Chan could handle his liquor, Seungmin realized that maybe the last three months hadn't been a complete waste after all.
He'd gotten to know Minho better, even if it was under completely ridiculous circumstances. He'd learned that Felix was surprisingly good at writing love letters, even if he couldn't spell for shit. He'd discovered that Chan knew way more about everyone's personal lives than he let on, and that Changbin was apparently the go-to person for relationship advice.
"Hey," he said, interrupting an argument about whether 'My Heart Will Go On' counted as a love song or a tragedy song.
Everyone looked at him.
"Congratulations," he said to Jisung and Minho. "I'm happy for you. Both of you. Even if you're both terrible at communication, and I hate you."
"Thanks, Seungmin," Jisung said softly. "That means a lot."
Seungmin picked up his coffee mug–the chipped one, since Minho had stolen his good one. "Now, who wants to help me plan the most embarrassing best man speech in the history of weddings?"
Everyone avoided his eyes.
"Perfect."