Chapter Text
Ragatha knew Jax better than herself.
She knew his smug smirk, the one he cracked whenever he inflicted suffering upon someone else.
She knew the mischievous twinkling in his eye each time he hatched a new plan to cause some sort of destruction.
She knew that he found enjoyment in playing seemingly harmless tricks on others.
She knew Jax was a lot of things: cunning, sarcastic, cruel, rude— the list goes on.
However, there was one thing that Jax NEVER was. And that was kind.
Correction— never was to her.
Jax was still kind.. sometimes. Only to a rare few, possibly more accurately: a rare one.
She knew that he just wasn’t the kind of person anymore who got along with her. She did know it. And being who she was, she couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t in her nature.
But knowing didn’t stop her from hating his lack of empathy.
Not hating him, but hating the way he was.
God, she wished she could hate him the way he hated her.
He never used to hate her, at least, she didn’t think so.
Jax used to be almost…caring. Almost genuinely funny. She might even dare to say he was almost her best friend at one point.
But over time, things changed, things happened, friends… went. And it changed all of that.
Still, she wished she could really hate him. She had all the reason to. She even told him she hated him on multiple occasions, but it was more in a futile attempt to convince herself than that it was the actual truth.
If she could, it would have all been easier.
Sometimes, she thought back- reminisced if you would- to when it was.
---୨♡୧*~˚₊· ͟͟͞➳❥~*>୨♡୧---
Ragatha trailed alone at the back, busying herself with counting her steps and honing in on the crunch they made on the ground below.
Before her, Zooble walked alongside Kinger who kept ducking into the forest brush and claiming he was hiding from the enemy. Every once in a while, Zooble would let out an exasperated sigh and coax him back out.
Up front was Jax. His tall purple silhouette stood stark against the sun at its peak in the sky.
Caine had sent them on their adventure of the day, hours earlier. This one was almost as pointless as the others: using a battered map— held by Jax who would let no one else lead—they had to locate a campsite and evacuate the young scouts staying there from the impending storm.
But there were no scouts, only NPCs who after this mission would go back to being nothingness at Caine’s whim and will once Ragatha and the others were back, somewhat safe, at the circus. There was no storm, only a simulation. There was no real threat to anyone, the scouts weren’t real and the others couldn’t die. There was no real point. Her whole existence was useless, and she was slowly coming to terms with this.
Even three months since her arrival to the circus, she couldn’t say she had adjusted all that much.
When she arrived, notably there was Kinger and Ribbit. Shortly after, Jax arrived. Finally, Zooble. Anyone else was irrelevant— they didn’t last long after either her arrival or theirs.
All of them had seemed to slot in much easier than she did. Adjusting to it like this was all they had ever known, laughing like old friends.
After being told what to do her whole life by her mother, she didn’t know how to behave once free from her shackles. So she buried herself in the sand. She became snappy and short with anyone who tried to talk to her. She walled herself off, never lowering the bridge over her moat, blocking out even those most pure, such as Kinger.
Multiple times, people had tried to comfort her— to welcome her into their forced family.
Each time she wounded them, choosing either actions or words as her weapon, both equally effective. She inflicted pain so severe they didn't dare try again.
So she remained isolated.
She kicked a pebble, sending it skittering over the uneven terrain straight into Kinger's path. He promptly dove into a nearby thorn bush.
Ragatha winced but didn't dare show her sympathy, as not to break her stone facade. Instead, she chose to ignore Zooble's glare as she walked past a flailing Kinger.
"Slow down!" Jax managed to choke out between fits of his rambunctious laughter.
“Or, you could catch up to me?” A voice mocked a few yards before him.
Ragatha watched as Jax ran forward, waving the map before Ribbit’s face. “You don’t even know where you’re going without this!”
“Then I’ll take it.” Ribbit lunged for the map, but Jax held it above his head. Teasing and playful. As Ribbit jumped, Jax lifted his arm up higher, taunting him with his height.
Ragatha sighed, looking away as Ribbit finally snatched the map from Jax’s grasp and sprinted away, Jax laughing in hot pursuit.
Idiots, she thought to herself. What she wouldn't admit, even to herself, was that in this digital realm, she longed for nothing more than a companion. Someone as close to her as Ribbit was to Jax.
After a while of seemingly aimless wandering—the sky growing darker, Ragatha's legs wearier, and her heart heavier—she collided with something.
“What the-“ She began, hissing. She pushed herself back onto her two unsteady feet and looked up to find the back of Jax’s head.
Turning to face her, he laughed softly, “Watch where you’re going doll-face.”
He flicked her forehead with his finger in a playful manner. Ragatha batted him away, huffed, and crossed her arms.
“Why did you stop so abruptly?” She grumbled, clipping the end of each word with the next.
She looked up at Jax, her face sullen and contorted by annoyance, her eyebrows knitted together. He tilted his head, his eyes widening in seemingly real concern. He opened his mouth but was cut off before he had even formed the first word.
“‘Cause of that!” Ribbit’s green face popped up from behind Jax. He threw a finger at the gap in the trees before them.
As Kinger and Zooble finally caught up, Ragatha’s eyes fell upon a collection of tents and the soft billow of smoke from the campfire they circled.
The gentle song of camaraderie carried from the mouths of youth singing it around the fire, a marshmallow skewered on a stick in the hand of each.
A strange tug pulled deep within Ragatha’s stuffing.
"Why couldn't Caine just start the adventure here?" Zooble groaned. "Why make us walk for hours to get here?"
"That's Caine for you. His adventures are designed for maximum effort, not enjoyment," Jax answered, advancing toward the campsite and weaving past low-hanging branches. He held back a particularly problematic branch for Ribbit so it didn’t smack him in the face.
Ragatha watched as the others walked past her toward the campfire, her arms firmly folded.
However, as Kinger followed suit, he called out.
“Come on, Rose.” He said, a hand tightening around her wrist.
Her arms unfolded as he dragged her, “Uhh.. I’m Ragatha.”
“What’s a Ragatha?”
She rolled her eyes behind his head in reply. Not to mock, or be cruel, no, purely out of exasperation. Truthfully, she pitied the man.
Her foot caught on a tree root as he dragged her roughly behind him. Promptly after, her dress snagged as it escaped the grasp of a branch’s spindly finger. Almost comically, without giving her a second to catch her breath, the branch that Jax had previously saved Ribbit from slapped her square on the jaw.
Suddenly, Kinger stopped. She followed his gaze, his eyes were locked on a leaf next to his head.
“This is a Greta oro!” he gasped, using his free hand to point at the small winged creature resting on its green home. Though dim under the cover of the tree canopy, its wings reflected the dying sunlight that shone through the hands of the towering leaves. Its wings were delicate and fragile, almost reflective, transparent and painted the rainbow all at once. “These were my wife’s favourite!”
"Wife?" Ragatha asked under her breath, allured by the strange bug. Although raised on a large property with many acres of land and enough animals to start a zoo, her mother rarely let her venture far. She almost never saw anything more exotic than one of her horses. Insects like these were few and far between back at home.
“Wife,” Kinger confirmed. “It’s strange, these are commonly found in the rainforest… but this isn’t a rainforest, perhaps Caine should do some more research on his adventures. Butterflies are normally a good sign though, transformation and new beginnings and all that. Often, they’re also regarded as symbols of loved ones who have passed on.”
He paused for a moment there, Ragatha could almost swear she heard him whisper a soft hello.
“It reminds me of you a bit.” He said, straightening himself to study her instead.
“How so?” She shied away from his gaze, studying the butterfly once again instead, hoping he’d do the same. He did not.
“It looks fragile doesn’t it?” Ragatha nodded, slightly, sensing he wanted a reply. “Well, you’d be surprised, the Greta oro, or more commonly called the glasswing, can carry up to 40 times its weight! Its wings don’t break as easily as the wings of others in its insect family. I think you’re stronger than others or even yourself think too, this place would break a lot of people, and you’re still here.”
Ragatha was taken aback, she turned to face him, blinking wildly. Where was this coming from?
“Another thing, this one here uses its wings to camouflage and blend in, I think you use your personality. I don’t believe you’re really cold and snappy. Deep down, I think you’re the opposite! However, I think you’ve closed yourself off in an attempt to hide, still in denial about this whole place.” Ragatha could feel his gaze boring into her, it burned her skin with both embarrassment but also the shock of finally being understood.
Jax’s cocky voice called after them, snapping the two of them out of their trance, and Ragatha was being swept off her feet by the arm Kinger yanked moments later.
As they stepped out of the shade and dark comfort of the tight knitted trees above, Kinger continued to drag her towards the open clearing where their other companions now stood huddled, discussing a route to take the scouts.
“I didn’t know you were that insightful, Kinger.” Ragatha remarked timidly, watching as the campfire cast bright, glowing shapes along the back of his wooden head. “Thank you, for always looking out for me. Sorry that I.. uh- didn’t let you in before.”
“In what? I’m really not insightful, in fact… I think I may need glasses.” He said, his voice hushed like they were sharing a secret. He flipped around and Ragatha continued walking right into him, the two of them tumbled less than gracefully into Zooble. All three collapsed into a heap on the ground.
Ribbit broke off from his further study of the map and assisted Zooble in piecing themselves together again.
Kinger, who was up before anyone even had to consider helping him, seemed to be counting his own fingers like taking inventory.
“Clumsy, aren’t we.” A voice riddled with humour joked, not an ounce of mockery was woven into the words that could so easily have been cruel.
Ragatha looked up, Jax’s gloved hand lay palm up and welcoming before her face. His other hand resting on his knee, supporting himself as he offered her aid.
Tentatively, she took it. He pulled her up onto her feet. After taking a moment to ensure everyone was okay, he took a step forward towards the scouts— despite the calamity not one had batted an eye.
“Down to business then,” He clapped his hands and every head snapped to him.