Who Put You On This Earth?

by Chaource

Summary:

After Hayahide comes into possession of a handful of money, BNW decides to take a trip into the wilderness for a week. What happens next is shenanigans galore.

(BNW can be read as either a friend group or a polycule, tho that might change)

Notes:

bnw in da bmw

Chapter 1: What? Do I Have Something On My Face?

The wind gently blew the needles of the trees in the area, some more brittle ones flying off to join the covered ground. Gentle waves reflected the clear blue of the sky as they grazed against the rocks of the land, tree roots acting as a natural staircase leading up the miniature meter tall cliff separating the shore from the designated camping area, as vacant as ever.

“NATURE, HERE I COME!!!”

Taishin groaned. Ticket was hyperactive as always, looking as if she was ready to jump right into the lake and swim to the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Biwa Hayahide, probably the most responsible of the group, started opening up the camper they had tugged along behind them. It wasn’t anything overly luxurious, but big enough to keep everyone comfy on a rainy day, with two bedrooms, one with a bunk bed. Everyone disagreed on who got the single bed.

This was BNW’s first camping trip, suggested by Winning Ticket, executed by Biwa Hayahide, and dragged along was local victim Narita Taishin. They were stuck here for 5 days, far away from any civilization. And worst of all…

Zero bars.

“Taishin! Can I borrow you for a second? We need to level the camper.”

Her sobfest was interrupted before it could even start as Hayahide asked her for assistance. She pocketed her phone and dragged her feet over towards her, who held several brightly colored pallet like squares.

“I just need you to hold it up for a few seconds while I put these under the wheel. The ground here isn’t the most even.”

Taishin didn’t speak a word, just placed her hands under the giant hunk of metal and lifted it up a bit. It didn’t feel nearly as heavy as the truck she lifted with Haru and Rice.

It was only maybe 15 seconds, but the dread of the week to come made it feel like forever. Loud footsteps behind her warned her of the return of the runaway.

“I’m so excited for this thing!! Hey Hayahide, how’d you spare the money for a camper???”

“Brain recently won her first G1. She offered me half the money, which I didn’t want to accept, but she insisted I keep it.” She finished placing the blocks and signaled for Taishin to put the camper down. “So I decided it’d be nice to treat us to a little vacation out here!”

‘All that money and no WiFi hookup,’ Taishin mused to herself. ‘Might as well have made a shelter from leaves and sticks.’

“It’s already getting late,” she spoke aloud a different thought instead of giving Ticket any ideas. “We spent like 5 hours getting here. We need to finalize the bed arrangement.”

That same Ticket was the first to respond. “Oooh, I want top bunk! O-only if neither of you want it, that is!”

“Where I sleep doesn’t really matter to me. Although I can’t say I wouldn’t appreciate the bigger bed after that drive~”

Taishin had mentally met an impasse; bite the bullet and take the bottom bunk, preventing any arguments, or snag the larger bed for herself?

Well, she didn’t plan to start being so passive right now. “How come you get top bunk? What if I want top bunk, huh?”

Hayahide gave a confused and concerned glance, but decided to stay out of the confrontation. Lest Taishin dare argue that such a small frame needed a mattress so large in comparison, she was gonna start setting up shop.

“Uhhh, no offense but… wouldn’t it be easier to stay on the bottom since you’re a… you’re an… mmm.”

Hayahide immediately threw away her previous thought to watch this go down. And hopefully give some ‘adult’ supervision.

“Oh you did NOT.”

“I didn’t even say it!!”

“You nearly called me the R-WORD!!”

“I’M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE!”

“Winning Ticket I am going to burn you alive.”

“Okay, but don’t act like it’s not true.”

“It’s still a very rude thing to say to someone,” Hayahide commented amidst the back and forth. Not like they would pay attention.

“If it’s say true why didn’t you say it, huh?”

“I don’t wanna be rude!!”

“Why don’t you say it!? Right to my FACE!?”

“I don’t wanna say it!!”

“SAY IT!!”

“I’M NOT GONNA SAY IT!!”

“SAY!!! IT!!!”

“ITS… ITS JUST-“

“!!!!!!!”

R-R-RUNT-“

“ENOUGH.” Biwa introjected with as much of a mom voice as she could muster, commanding silence from the fowl-mouthed duo. “You guys need to make up and decide who gets which bed now or you’re both sleeping outside.” (Truthfully, this was an empty threat. She was just caught up in her sudden authority.)

Winning Ticket and Narita Taishin both mumbled something that sounded like “yes mom” before engaging in a more civil discussion, one that ended with the latter admitting defeat and taking the bottom bunk.

“If you piss yourself you owe me 5,000 yen in bunk bed compensation.”

“I’ve literally never been a bed wetter???”

Despite the slight sour tone, the night was able to wind down without any more fuss. Taishin was left the only one awake at around 10:30, as Ticket snored from above.

If there was anything that could make her less carefree, it was definitely insults about her height. This wasn’t the first time it’d happened - when they first met, Ticket had called her it so casually, simply because others did too. Hayahide had to explain what it meant to her, and she obviously felt terrible and didn’t mean it, but it still stung to know that hate against her was so commonplace.

Even now, Taishin was ever so slightly convinced that she didn’t fully grasp its meaning. She put in effort to see that they remained friends though, and actually apologized when she did rarely let it slip… maybe Taishin was the one to blow everything out of proportion.

Yeah, actually, a lot of that was her fault. As guilty as she felt about it, she knew that Ticket would probably forget about it by the morning, which was a relief if anything. It could be something that she could look back on in a few years and they’d both laugh… hopefully.

Even when Taishin couldn’t sleep, it was never for long. Even the most insomniac Taishin only took a couple hours max. Which is why she found birds chirping before she could overthink things much more.

Chapter 2: When Does This Get Good?

Summary:

It’s raining.

Notes:

Things pick up in the next chapter I think. We’ll see when I write it

Also I forgot to mention but characters may be ooc because I haven’t played much if any of ticket and hayahides careers

“I’m boredddd….”

By sheer bad luck, it had begun raining the second day of the camping trip, and it didn’t look like it would cease anytime soon. Ticket was the saddest of the bunch, excited for a day of swimming in the large lake that the campsite bordered on, but now it was stuck being postponed until tomorrow.

“…it’s kinda empty without Taishin in the background. I guess I should’ve expected her to be a heavier sleeper…”

“Yep,” Hayahide offered a simple response, finishing fixing up some breakfast sandwiches. “Want yours with or without cheese?”

“I’ll take mine with,” she answered as the paper plate was soon sat in front of her.

The sandwiches were very good, coming from years of lunch packing experience. The same experience also helped to preserve one for Taishin until she woke from her slumber. Ticket munched on it pensively, bored out of her mind.

“Biwa, is that clock broken? It can’t only be 11.”

“…that clock has been stuck on eleven since yesterday. It’s 10:30.”

“That’s even worse!!” She groaned and finished her sandwich, thinking about going back to bed to sleep the day away. Surely it would’ve been nicer than this eternity.

“What if we play a game to pass the time? When we were kids, me and Brian played this rhyming game all the time, it’s just building off what the other person says! You should play.”

Hayahide began to tap her fingers in a rhythmic fashion, before starting to speak. “It’s raining outside, so we’re stuck inside.”

Ticket sighed before continuing. It wasn’t her idea of fun, but it definitely had her attention. “I wanted to swim, but now I’m uh…. Tim?”

“Nice to meet you, Tim! I hear you want to swim; but because of the rain, we sing this song again.”

“Don’t make fun of me! I couldn’t think of anything!”

“Except for that time, you had a better rhyme.” Hayahide smiled at Ticket’s childish response, continuing to tap her fingers to a rhythm.

“I always wake up early, for the Japanese Derby, but right now I’m tired, so I want to go and lie…erd. Dang it.”

As if the thought of sleep had attracted her, Taishin emerged from the hallway towards the rhythmic noise. “Yawn… good morning. I hope I wasn’t snoring.”

“She just woke up, how come she can do it better!?”

Hayahide slightly grimaced before offering an awkward smile. “I hate to say it Ticket… but maybe you got no rhythm.”

“Did you save me a sandwich? I can’t find it in the cabinet.”

“Of course I did, ‘Shin! I put it in the fridge.”

Ticket slumped her shoulders in defeat. “I don’t think this is for me. Why don’t we play Yahtzee?”

Hayahide perked up. “But you did it right there! We don’t need those squares.”

Taishin grabbed the sandwich and sat down. “I thought you sucked with numbers, you silly… okay yeah maybe we should stop.”

“Sports lover? Why would you stop because you were about to call her a sports lover?”

“Hayahide…”

 

-

 

Later that evening, the three had been locked in an intense game of Uno where no one was willing to relent. Everyone was tied for wins across the board, making it anyone’s game. The atmosphere was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Plus 2.”

“Another plus 2.”

“Another one. Uno,” Taishin smirked.

“Plus 2.”

“Uhhh, plus 4. Red.”

“I’m not drawing 12 cards, choose a different color.”

Hayahide looked bewildered. “Choose a different color? You can’t just choose a different color, that’s not how-“

“Fine, blue,” Ticket confidently rebuked.

“Try again.”

“Taishin, Ticket’s not stupid. You shouldn’t-“

“Yellow!”

Taishin simply smirked in response. Truthfully, she did not expect this to work in the slightest. “One more time.”

“AQUAMARINE!”

Both of the other Umas simply sat, bewildered.

“That’s… that’s not a color,” Taishin groaned.

“Uh, yes it is!”

Hayahide began to hand cards to the former. “Not an Uno color, anyways. Red 6.”

“Heheh, now I’m in the lead! Skip!”

Taishin simply sulked, holding on to the faint hope of a comeback.

“Green skip. Taishin?”

“Two. I was gonna play it earlier to win, but someone else had other plans…”

Biwa laid down another card, this time a 9. “Your turn, Ticket.”

“Awwww yeah! Blue 9!”

Hayahide and Taishin looked at each other, then back at Ticket, then back at each other. Who was gonna say it.

Hayahide sighed. “Say it.”

“You didn’t call Uno! You have to draw 4!”

“Nuh uh.”

“Fuck you MEAN NUH UH??”

“We should play a different game!”

“THIS HOUSE IS A PRISON”

Hayahide sighed. “Ticket, please finish this game sensibly…”

“Fine,” she mumbled, drawing her cards. “This isn’t even a house by the way, dummy.”

“Whatever, draw 2.”

“Draw 2, Uno,” Hayahide added another card to the stack.

I- guh… fine.” Ticket reluctantly drew 4 from the deck.

“That’s closer to even footing. That’s what I like to see,” Taishin smiled as she placed another card on the stack.

Another card slammed down as a voice confidently echoed a sentiment neither of them wanted to hear spoken from another;

“I win.”

The silence was only staved off by the pitter-patter of the rain against the roof, before everyone immediately erupted into argument over a “completely fair” game.

“Look, I’m just saying-“

“You confidently said “aquamarine” was an Uno color, shut up.”

“SAYS MISS 14 CARD HAND!!”

 

-/fin/-

Notes:

Expect a hot minute until the next chapter cuz I just got scheduled 38 hours this week and gufhejch….

Notes:

Don’t be surprised if this gets cut short or never gets finished. I wanna try to finish it, but I’m not exactly known for proper conclusions.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 6 of Carrots for Gaia