Never Give You Peace

by IBoatedHere

Summary:

If Wolf were to ever leave, it would only be because Josh agreed to come with him.

Wolf lifts his glasses off his face and tosses them towards the coffee table, rolling his eyes when they slide off the other side and fall to the floor.

He doesn’t move to retrieve them, just sets the test results down on the floor, leans back against the couch, and rubs at his eyes until stars burst behind his lids.

It’s a mess—the files that are scattered around him and the ones that he left in his office at the hospital plus everything that’s running through his head constantly. A continuous loop of possible diagnoses that correlate to his father’s symptoms both present and past. Add in personal feelings about the man—both present and past—along the ones he feels for his mother and their combined actions for decades that have him doubting everything he’s ever known.

Wolf can’t decide where he stands on any of it, and the only thing he knows for sure is that he has a patient that needs help. The rest is a jumbled heap of betrayal, confusion, and worry.

He thinks about cutting and running more often than he cares to admit. He’s never given up on a patient before but if the last year has taught him anything is that there’s a first time for everything.

He could sell the house for cheap—it’s not like he needs the money—pack everything that’s important to him in the car and get a trailer for his bike and just drive. Open a private practice somewhere. He’s heard good things about the Pacific Northwest.

Now that he knows how to email, text, and FaceTime, keeping up with Carol would be easy. Distance never really mattered to them anyways.

He’s lived in the city all his life. Maybe somewhere quieter and slower would be good for him. God knows it couldn’t be worse. He doesn’t think he’d miss anything about living here, except for Josh.

On cue, Wolf feels fingers brush against the back of his neck and he leans back into the touch.

“Wolf,” Josh says, soft and sleepy, then, “Oliver,” and Wolf turns his head to look up at him.

Wolf had been at the hospital for over forty eight hours straight when Carol bullied him out of the office before she passed him off to Josh who bullied him into the car.

Wolf had sat in the passenger seat, arms crossed with the handful of files he was able to grab before he was forced out of the hospital in his lap, and when Josh pulled into the driveway he refused to get out until they negotiated terms and conditions. Wolf would agree to stay home for the next twelve hours as long as he was able to review his father’s most recent test results. Josh threw in dinner and Wolf pouted and ate half then hid in the den with his paperwork while Josh stretched out on the couch, exhausted from his own long day.

Wolf worked alone for hours, until the sun went down and Josh began snoring and Wolf realized how much he missed him. So, Wolf picked everything up and relocated, sat on the floor against the couch as Josh slept just so he could be close to him.

Now, Josh’s fingers are tucked into the collar of his shirt, playing with the tag, here despite Wolf giving him a hundred reasons not to be.

If Wolf were to ever leave, it would only be because Josh agreed to come with him.

“Have you ever been to Seattle?” Wolf asks and Josh’s nose scrunches in confusion. “Forget it. It’s not important.”

Josh hums then fists his hand in Wolf’s collar, tugging him up. “C’mon,” he whispers, “c’mere.”

Wolf goes willingly, getting to his feet and climbing over Josh’s body. It takes a few tries and an elbow to Josh’s ribs before he gets comfortable, his arm over Josh’s chest and his head on his shoulder.

Wolf wants to tell him that he’s sorry, that he’ll do better, that he doesn't think he has an answer for his father, that there might not be one.

“It’s late,” he says instead, his fingers tapping St. Matthew Passion over Josh's heart. “We should go upstairs.”

“We should,” Josh agrees, his lips against Wolf’s forehead.

Josh doesn’t get up to leave, and neither does Wolf.