Set me alight, i know you want to

by Undrskore

Summary:

you hate me, dont you.

1x gets forsaken, but as a survivor, not a killer, and now has to share a cabin with shedletsky.

god, she hates shedletsky.

Chapter 1: May nothing get rejected, May nothing get infected

Summary:

you're too kind, 1337.

trees.

that was the first thing she saw when he woke up. trees hanging over them like mourners at a funeral, mourning the death of someone reviled.

she was hacker to them, an exploiter, a bug in the code, telamon's belated daughter who was banned for the greater good of robloxia. of course she was angry, she was wrongfully banned, trying to live up to standards she could never hope to touch.

they were hatred incarnate, the embodiment of an intense burning fire that could never be extingueshed, left to decay and be smothered out in the banlands. they didn't deserve this, did they? she was just an unlucky soul, born to a neglectful god, a god who couldn't escape his unfair nature.

she was upset, angry, enraged, despairing, to be failed so many times, by telamon, by the admins, by life itself. now left to rot in the dirt they came from.

they laid there, cloak sprawled out under her, cradling his long, white hair. the moonlight bouncing off, sparkling, dancing.

she hated it, god did they hate it. they were hatred incarnate, why wouldnt they hate it. he was out here, alone, pent up resentment still flowing through their veins

he could distantly hear something, carnage, screams, glitches, bugs, they couldnt tell what was happening, but that ruckus eminating from the treeline was making him feel uneasy, something was wrong, something was horribly wrong.

they sat up, looking through the treeline, nothing, just a cascade of trees and, something peaking through,, probably not much of note, they'd probably just wait until someone found them and told her what was going on. she needed the claification.

god, she hated that she needed clarification.

she swore she could hear footsteps, maybe, not fully, she was still confused, he tried listening closer, but still, no real answer. maybe they were hallucinating, high on poison from the venomshank he wielded, thank god she still had that thing on them, otherwise they were done for out here. either way, it was better than nothing. maybe they were out of the banlands, maybe they were free, oh god, he hoped she was oout of there.

"hey, guest! i think i might have found another survivor!"

"what? where? can you see them?!"

"uhm, i think in the treeline? maybe? i cant really tell, theres a green light coming from the edge of the forest, like in the trees, can you see it?"

"yeah, yeah i can, thanks noob, i can always count on you!"

"no problem guest!"

the footsteps grew closer, rustling grass echoing out. 1x grew tense, way more tense than she should, she hated that feeling, he hated it so much, their heart beating through their see through chest, they tried to quell their growing distress,they couldnt't just freak out like this, they couldnt, they shouldnt.

"hello?!"

they stayed quiet, the footsteps advancing towards her.

"hello?"

someone emerged from the trees near 1x, a robloxian, a guest even, he was bulky, tall, looked like he had been through hell and back, his army uniform covered in tears and frays and his knuckles embroidered with bruises and scars. his hair was ultramarine blue, scruffy, looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.

they were puzzled, she thought guests were removed.

"hello? you ok there?"

"what."

"are you ok?"

1x looked baffled, someone treating them with humanity? asking if theyre ok? she was visibly confused and lost in thought.

"sure, im fine." he awkwardly responded.

"right, hold on, i just need to check something."

the guest croched down, causing 1x to back away instinctually, too close, way too close for comfort. the guest cocked his head.

"you ok?"

 

"im. fine."

"am i too close?"

1x glared at him, hoping that he'd get the memo.

"oh, right, sorry about that"

the guest backed up a bit. letting 1x calm down slightly, he was staring intently, sorta scanning her.

"what are you doing."

"making sure youre not injured, that's all" the guest explained, "can i quickly see your arms? if you don't mind?"

1x hesitated, pulling her arms away from him, before letting him even glance at thier wrists. they were bruised, like they'd been shackled for a while, they looked sore and painful, which alarmed him greatly, triggering the guest to pull out aome sort of briefcase, opening it and pulling out some bandages and an ice pack.

"what are you doing."

"some minor first aid, your wrists look, really injured, yknow!" he exclaimed, holding out his hamd, hoping 1x would let him at least bandage up his wrists. "do they hurt?"

"mmm, yeah." 1x admitted, "pretty painful, i hate to admit."

the guest gently started wrapping bandages around one of 1x's wrists, they flinched, tensing up.

"ow-"

the guest paused, concerned.

"is this supposed to hurt so much?!"

"i guess its because the injuries didnt get a chance to heal at all, so putting bandages on them is sorta painful."

"why didn't you warn me beforehand?!"

"i didn't really think that would happen, sorry about that, truly."

the guest resumed bandaging up 1x's wrists, more gently, it hurt less, still stung but not as much.

"by the way, im guest 1337, so, nice to meet you," guest 1337 introduced himself, still patching up 1x's wrists, gently holding 1x'sarm steady so he could actually apply the bandages precisely and as painlessly as possible. he knew what he was doing, he was a veteran, he'd bandaged up his teammates before, he was versed in that kind of thing.

"right, there."

he let go of 1x's arm, handing them an ice pack just in case, she stared at her wrists, now wrapped in gauze, bewildered that someone would show them this amount of compassion or care at all.

"wow- i, thank you?" they stammered, still gazing at their wrists.

"oh! dont bother thanking me!" guest 1337 stood up, packing up his medkit and stashing it away, "its fine, dont worry about it."

1x stood up as well, adjusting their cloak and brushing herself off, picking up the venomshank as well. sheathing it behind her back. Guest took notice, but didn't say anything.

"what."

"your sword. where'd you get it?"

1x went dead quiet, looking down.

"…its none of your business." she dispondantly replied, looking down, brushing off guest 1337's inquring, he didnt need to know. at all, he didnt want to admit it, nor remember who they got that from.

"okk…"

"dont worry about it."

guest 1337 dropped the question. he knew not to poke at prod at that kind of thing, god did he know, he learnt that lesson back in his army days thats for sure.

"well, cmon, we should probably go back to the cabin, its safer there than out here." guest 1337 started returning to the cabin, retracing his steps, imploring 1x to follow, which she hesistantly did. the two walking through the forest back to the cabin 1337 mentioned.

"so, whats your name? if you dont mind me asking." guest 1337 asked.

1x struggled to respond, still walking, weighing her options, considering if she should actually tell 1337 her name, worrying almost, hating the idea of 1337 finding out who she was, would he hate them? would he scorn them? despise him like everyone else did?

he hated that idea. he hated the idea of the first person to show her any kind of care switching up on them like a coin being flipped.

he steeled her resolve. it surely couldn't end up like that right? they were already quite recognisable, right? he would've caught on anyways.

",,,1×1×1×1"

Chapter 2: its best you dont ask. you dont want the answer

Notes:

OH WOW YOU GUYS LIKE THIS- WOW OK -
srry if 1x is a little out of character yknow, not being mad all the time, or actually making friends, its kinda personal preferance. its a whole thing. enjoy !

also the lack of updates it cuz i had to go pick up my gsce results today, good news i passed everything, and to nobodies surprise, i passed both of my english exams with flying colors! so yknow, i guess, lmao.

guest 1337 opened the cabin door. ushering himself and 1x inside the cabin. it was small, wooden, rustic and cluttered.

chance was sprawled out on one of the chairs, talking to elliot, the pair sharing more gossip than should be even possible in a place like this. shedletsky was nearby, eating chicken like always, one of his wings around builderman, who was tinkering with something, keepinng his hands busy while he charged, he was low on battery after last run. two time was in the corner, drawing, builderman had given them some old construction paper to fiddle with, helped keep them occupied, apparently it helped distract them from something they didnt want to talk about. noob was hanging with taph and dusekkar, talking about magic probably, 1x couldn't hear it fully, and 007n7 was sat alone, not really doing much, maybe he was waiting for guest 1337 to come back, he looked rather lonely if she was being honest.

guest cleared his throat.

"guys! we found a new survivor!" he announced, still standing by 1x.

everyone turned, facing the duo, ranging from shocked to just relieved that their numbers had gone up.

except shedletsky.

shed looked at 1x, mortified, almost guilty, sweating profusely, his feathers spiked out around him, his wings tensed up like they were made of stone. he got up, immediatly moving elsewhere, out of 1x's line of sight. builderman looked off to the side, watching shed walk away.

"shedle-"

"im fine builds im fine dont worry about it"

builderman dropped that question.

"well, this is 1×1×1×1."

1x hesitantly waved, getting a wave back from builderman and elliot.

"like the infamous hacker?!" chance exclaimed, "im seeing things right?"

"not a hacker." 1x corrected, disgruntled, though not surprised,"its just a rumor, a really stupid rumor."

"right, so your'e not gonna hack someone and do..something nefarious."

"wh- NO!"

"right right, just checkin. don't wanna take my chances."

elliot glared at chance. they looked back, confused on why he was staring at him like that.

"what?"

"that was the worst pun you've ever made."
"ok, that time it wasnt a pun."

"yea…sure."

1x sat down, next to elliot and chance, the two taken a bit off guard. atleast chance was startled, elliot wasn't. an ally's an ally, he didnt mind.

Shed still remained hidden away, guilt and tension living out their wildest dreams in his psyche.

"What..? Why is 1x here!? Oh god im done for…" he thought, stifling his own heartbeat. "God, shes gonna kill me…"

His mind was smothered in thoughts like pop-up adverts, regrets, doubts, his past mistakes. Damnit! He didn't want to remember that, he was hoping 1x had been unbanned and was just roaming bloxburg, or at worst still imprisoned. Anywhere other than here! How she wasnt on the killer's side was a mystery to him. Atleast they had another teammate, that was a plus, it wasn't all the time they got someone on their side.

It was a once in a blue moon occurrence, rare but a blessing, like a whale fall to the deep sea.

But 1x?

She probably still hated him. God damnit, she definitely still hated him.

He'd probably hate him if he was her.

…maybe he already did.

Whatever. Better not dwell on that lest builderman gets concerned and starts asking too many questions. He buried himself under his wings, faint chain-like markings embedded into the feathers, taunting him, mocking him, reminding him constantly.

Of what hes done.

Dont dwell on it.

Just ignore it.

"Shedletsky?"

"Yeah..?"

Elliot frowned a bit. Shed looked, in his opinion, awful, curled up in a cage of feathers and sharp gold. He seemed melancholic, disturbed, like something was off.

"You alright?"

"Pfft, yeah im alright! Why wouldn't i be?"

He forced his usual mindless smile, donning it like a mask, he didn't need that secret coming out anytime soon.

"You seem off." Elliot muttered, his hair flickering and flowing behind him. "You sure?"

"Yep, im absolutely fine! Just a bit nervous about next round but, yknow! New teammate, it'll probably be fine."

".. you mean 1x right."

"…yeah." Shedletsky stammered, "yeah, yeah, 1x1x1x1."

"Shed!" Elliot teased, smiling, playfully punching him on the shoulder, "dont be mean! He just got here!"

"Ok ok i know!" Shedletsky looked down, a looming shadow overlaying his eyes, "im just …not sure how she's gonna cope, its normal, i always worry about new survivors."

"You weren't acting like this when taph showed up, or two time, or chance, or builderman, or dusekkar, or…anyone ! You're acting weird shed, you're acting weird."

"Oh! Im just good at hiding it, ok?" Shedletsky explained. "Just dont worry about it, k? Its not something we should really dwell on for too long."

"Why-"

"Its just not important. Dont worry about it."

Elliot struggled to come up with a response, running his fingers through his hair, flames fading into the air as he did.

"Well…do you want some pizza?"

"Nah, im good, ive got chicken anyways."

"I mean, we could put chicken on pizza" elliot muttered, visibly revolted by the thought. "i dont know why you'd do that. But"

"Im fine! No need to worry about me"

"Right."

Elliot walked away, returning back to the table with chance and 1x, and noob, who had joined them. Elliot did have a whole pizza on that table, completely unopened and untouched, they hadn't gotten around to actually eating it yet.

"Wait, noob when did you get here?"

"When you were talking to shedletsky-"

1x glared at noob and elliot the moment those words were uttered, like a switch had been flipped.

"…1x?"

"You were talking to who?"

"Uhm. Shedletsky? Why?"

1x stared, either looking haunted or enraged, elliot couldn't tell.

"We don't talk often."

"Good."

Elliot looked on, even more baffled than he already was. What did 1x have against shedletsky?! he would have to admit, shed was a little annoying, he was brash, reckless, way too overconfident, always running into danger no matter how many people tried to stop him, but he wasn't the worst thing in the world,, not by a long shot, the guy was funny, he was always ready for anything, ready to put his life on the line for others, he was, dare he say, a nice person to be around.

why was 1x acting like he was the worst guy ever?

"whhy?"

1x stayed silent. still burning with rage, eye twitching and glowing red.

elliot thought for a second, twiddling his fingers and forcing the rusted gears in his head to turn.

he pondered.

and pondered.

shakily dragging red string across an imaginary corkboard, pinning together random bits of knowledge and connecting non existent dots, hoping something, anything would stick or make sense long enough to be feasible.

then it clicked.

"1x, did you…know shedletsky?"

"no. stop asking." they snapped, "you dont need to know."

"oh."

noob and chance awkwardly held slices of pizza in their hands, noob hadnt even fully bitten into it yet.

elliot awkwardly stayed quiet, so did 1x, the tension was immense, crushing, suffocating, echoing through the cabin, spreading like poison through an organ system. it was, to put it lightly, intoxicating.

"so, uhm, do you want some pizza?" elliot asked, his words laced with that uncanny tension in the air.

"mm, sure."

1x took a slice of the pizza.

"ive never had it before"

"you haven't?"

"no, ive never had it."

"oh, well, i know a couple pizza places, well, theyre not here, theyre out in the not-here, hell i even work at one, sooo"

"you do?"

"yeah. builder bros, ok my dad started the buisness, but still. its pretty good in my opinion."

"and you work there."

"haha! yea, ive been working there all my life, the place is usually understaffed i will admit, and i kinda do everything there, but it gives me more stuff to do! so i dont mind."

"uhm, that doesnt sound healthy." noob piped up, "that sounds like overworking."

"i wouldnt worry about it, its my job"

"right…but still…"

"just dont ask, its fine! it really is!"

chance stifled a laugh.

"i think 1x is rubbing off on you, elliot!" he giggled, "you're talking a little bit like him!"

"chance…" growled elliot, only amusing the gambler even more, even 1x laughed a little bit.

"what? im right!"

"no you arent-"

"yes i am"

"no- chanceee!!"

chance lost it right there, devolving into frantic hysterical laughter, head on the table, triggering the others to join in, even 1x and elliot couldnt help but find it funny.

"i think im starting to like chance." 1x admitted between bursts of laughing, smiling widely for the first time in ages. "i think im starting to like you guys."

Chapter 3: Its personal, dont worry about it

Summary:

BUILDERMAN SHEDLETSKY ANGST. OHHHHH MAN

This chapter is so shedletsky centric. I dont know why

Notes:

Ohhh these two they are both in the wrong OHHHH MY GOD

Shedletsky sighed. Loudly. Still racked with guilt, spreading through his body like cyanide, hiding away in a corner, as far from the rest of the survivors as possible, caged up in his wings, staring at his sword, his reflection warped and stretched in the metal.

He knew it was ages ago, that he wasn't exactly telamon anymore, he'd changed, grown, become someone else, thrown away his blood-stained robes and become someone new. Someone better, someone fairer.

But he was still telamon.

He was still, by some cruel technicality he could never be rid of, that gold encrusted god of the heights, a being of contradictions, cruel yet righteous, just but unfair, he was everything he could be, yet everything he didn't want to be.

He could never escape his true nature, could he.

God, he wanted to escape his true nature.

Shedletsky turned away from his sword, looking behind him, the other survivors chatting and cooling their nerves off, hell, 1337 was showing 1x around the cabin.

He wasn't surprised. Guest 1337 was always this friendly and kind, as far as he knew.

He could hear 1337 showing the newest member of their squad the loft, showing them the tv, showing her the pool table, everything. Something shed felt he shouldve been doing, god 1337 didnt deserve to have to pick up the pieces of 1x and shedletsky's relationship, to be forced to fill the role that he should've been in, to be the father that 1x definitely deserved but never had.

"Why, telamon…why-?" He whispered, "why were you LIKE that?!"

He couldn't answer that question. He didn't know why he was like that. At all, he wanted to escape the past he had forged by his own clawed hand.

His own, bloodied, clawed hand.

He should apologise.

He knew 1x would never forgive him. Ever. She wouldn't, she shouldn't, he wished she was never here, that he could just forget about him. She would be so much happier if she just, didn't have to face him, share the same place with him. 1x would be so much happier if she didn't have to be anywhere near him, if she could just…

Exist.

Without him.

Without having to think about how badly he fucked up, how badly he had failed them, how he'd pretty much stabbed them in the heart and twisted the knife.

Damnit. He was sorry, he was fucking sorry, he wished 1x knew he had changed, that he wanted to be there, to fill that role he should have all those years ago. He should've been there. If he could go back, he would he really would.

"im sorry 1x…"

"Shed? Sheeeeeddd??? You're acting really weird, where the hell have you wandered off to !?" Builderman shouted, "you aren't usually this…i dunno, reclusive!?"

Shed didn't say anything, just hiding the golden engravings of his wings so they didn't catch the light, he didn't want to be noticed. Not right now.

"Shed?! Oh my god shedletsky you cant just slink off like this!! Where the hell are you!?"

Builderman kept peering into corners, looking around, his wirey tail flicking around haphazardly. Shed stayed quiet. He didn't need his best friend even thinking about him in this state.

"Hey, guys have you seen shedletsky?" Builderman shouted across the cabin "i can't find him!"

"Nope. Last time i checked he was hanging out in his usual spot." Elliot answered, "he was. Acting kinda weird in my opinion"

"As far as i recall, i haven't seen him at all"

"Would it help if i asked the spawn? Maybe it will help us find him?"

"T-thanks two time but no thank you."

"Maybe hes outside? Hes a bird right? Birds like trees, maybe hes just in a tree somewhere." 007n7 suggested, "he's done it before, i wouldn't put it past him."

"Thats. If i can't find him in here I'll go check the trees, thanks 7"

"🗡👉⏬🪑❓"

"…huh,wait no i HAVEN'T CHECKED UNDER THE FURNITURE! Taph you genius!" Builderman exclaimed, his voice glitching a bit, "high five buddy!"

 

Builderman high-fived taph, smiling.

"You always have the best ideas, taph, i know i would've never remembered that."

"👍😁"

Builderman began to search under the furniture, checking under tables and chairs.

Shed paled, damnit he didn't need builderman finding him like THIS. He wouldn't be able to just lie his way out of having to, yknow, actually talk to builderman about it. He may be good at trickery, that was his whole thing, but builderman was different, maybe he was just programmed to see through lies like they were glass but he always could just. Tell.

Not to mention that was ages ago. He'd probably gotten much worse at fooling people.

"Sheddd… cmon man, where the hell are you! Im worried yknow! Elliot said you're acting weird."

"Damnit…" shed thought, "damnit, cmon telamon, think!"

Builderman kept searching, pretty much turning the cabin inside out, searching under everything in sight.

"for the love of- shedletsky please don't make this difficult…"

Shed could see builderman was getting closer to him, his heart was pounding.

He didn't want builderman seeing him in this state. At all, he didn't want builderman knowing about his best kept secret, that he knew 1x, that he had failed her, that he'd fucked up and was paying the price big time.

He stayed quiet.

He felt something touch one of the gold embellishments on his wings, something cold, like metal. He felt a shock, not too serious, but enough to startle him greatly.

"Ow!"

He looked over. It was a light grey cable, the plug at the end sporting silvery metal prongs.

 

Fuck.

Builderman crouched down, finally, he'd found where shedletsky had wandered off to. He met him at eye level, his tail still lingering near shedletsky's wing.

"Builds-you freaking zapped me!"

"Atleast i found ya! What the hell are you doing down here?!"

"i was trying to sleep!" He lied, it came to him easier tan he thought. He guessed he still had it in him.

"Shed."

"What?"

"I know you're lying. I know you. Cmon, shedletsky, be honest with me here!"

Shedletsky fell quiet, a pit forming in his stomach, he didn't…want to tell builderman. He didn't have to tell him, did he? Builderman didn't know about 1x, he didn't know about their relationship, he didn't need to know how shedletsky had failed his own daughter so easily. He didn't need to know any of that. He didn't need to know all that. He just didn't. It was the past, he shouldn't bring it up.

"I don't want to! I don't want to be honest,builds! Why would i want to be honest here!?" Shedletsky shouted, "im not- im dont want to be truthful! Not right now!"

"Shedletsky, please just cooperate with me!"

"No! No i dont want to! You dont want to know that! You don't want the answer to this, ok!?"

"Shedletsky! Please! You're my best friend! Please just atleast tell me-"

"NO! YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!" Shedletsky exclaimed, louder than he thought, he didn't…mean to do that. No, he didn't mean to shout that loudly. He could see builderman was taken back, startled by his sudden outburst.

"TELAMON JUST TELL ME. SUMMARISE IT, ATLEAST JUST BE A LITTLE BIT TRUTHFUL! FOR ONCE! PLEASE!" Builderman cried, tears beginning to roll down his metal face, "PLEASE. PLEASE JUST TELL ME, YOU CAN'T JUST KEEP ME IN THE DARK! JUST. JUST TELL ME PLEASE."

"i…i cant tell you."

"WHY!?? SHEDLETSKY, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BEST FRIENDS!? WE'VE BEEN WORKING TOGETHER FOR LITERAL YEARS!"

"ITS JUST- …IT…you'd hate me for it."

"WH- NO I WOULDNT! WHY WOULD I HATE YOU FOR WHATEVER REASON!??"

"YOU JUST WOULD OK!? I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR IT, YOU'D DO THE SAME, I JUST KNOW."

"TELAMON."

"BUILDS YOU- YOU JUST WOULDN'T SEE ME THE SAME…you don't…you don't need to worry about it. You already worry too much."

"YOU'RE JUST MAKING ME WORRY MORE!! JUST TELL ME. JUST FUCKING TELL ME, SHEDLETSKY! PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT'S UP."

Builderman was on the brink of breaking down, his voice cracking and clicking like a speaker breaking down, whirring and humming like an overheating computer. He was shaking, tears streaming down his face, glaring at shedletsky, pleading with him.

God damnit. Was builds mad at him

"SHEDLETSKY. PLEASE. JUST TELL ME!!"

"BUILDERMAN-"

"TELAMON PLEASE JUST- TELL ME."

"BUILDS-"

"TELAMON."

shedletsky fell silent aside for his frantic, impulse stained breathing, he was…frankly, fucking upset, mad? Desperate? Frustrated? Overwhelmed?! He didnt fucking know, god damnit. He didn't fucking know.

"Builds. Just, just dont worry about it."

"No! Im gonna worry about it! Of course im gonna worry about it! For gods sake just atleast give a vague reason, atleast! Im not asking you to explain your whole life story! Just one sentence, one sentence. Just be truthful with me,please im begging you just be truthful with me, one sentence. Just- i dont need a whole damn essay about it! Just-"

Builderman stopped for a second, wiping his face on his hoodie sleeve, catching his breath, he was overheating for sure, he felt so damn hot.

"Just please fucking give a reason. I won't tell anyone else."

Shed inhaled.

Was…he really gonna say this?

"Its 1x."

"Wait. the new guy?! She just got here and you already don't like her!?"

"…"

"Shed."

"Its…personal. You don't need to know."

"Shed…do you know 1x?!"

Shedletsky didn't respond.

"TELAMON."

"Its none of your business." He snapped, "don't worry about it. Dont ask about it. You don't wanna know."

"Shedletsky…why didn't you-"

"BECAUSE ITS PERSONAL." Shedletsky yelled, catching everyone's attention, the rest of the survivors stared at the two as the admin emerged from his hiding spot and stormed off, bleary eyed and visibly hyperventilating.

Builderman stayed put, shocked, still crouched on the floor. Too stunned to speak.

"Builderman? You alright?" Elliot muttered.

No response. At all.

Dusekkar walked over, tapping him on the shoulder.

"My friend, what seems to be troubling you.." dusekkar crouched down, putting his hand on his ally's shoulder "you're burning up, that cannot be a good sign"

"Its …" builderman choked, glitching out, wiping his face over and over. "I …i dont- i-"

"Shedletsky?"

"Dont even mention it-"

"Right."

"I- i didn't- i didn't think that would happen- i-i dont- i dont know anymore-" he sobbed inbetween ragged breaths. "I- i -i didn't-i dont know- i didn't think that'd-"

"Builderman." Dusekkar softly muttered. "You're overheating."

"I-i know- i know i just-"

Builderman wiped his face once more.

"Just- im not gonna- im not gonna dwell on it anymore. Its. Its not really worth worrying about, ok?"

"Right."

Notes:

Im sorry
It will happen again

Chapter 4: Please keep us apart.

Shedletsky walked up into the attic, head down, fuming. He was mad, he couldn't put it into better words. He was mad. He was fucking mad. Great, just great. He sat down, heart pounding, his breathing ragged like sandpaper.

Damnit, he didn't want to lash out so badly, not at his best friend, not at builderman. That was his best buddy, he shouldnt have shouted at him like that. He could hear him sobbing, atleast he thought he could. It was definitely some sort of crying, sounded tinny, robotic.

"Fuck, i messed up badly." He mumbled, tapping one of his wings on the floor, metal touching wood with a gentle yet harsh click.

He'd messed up. No doubts about it. He'd screwed up so badly, over his own...

He hissed, it hurt to call 1x his daughter. He didn't deserve to call him that. He didn't have that right, he'd broken those rules, and yet got away with it, dodging the laws of this land with the grace and tenacity of the god that he was.

What was he saying, he was telamon, god of the heights, creator of the seven swords regarded so highly in legend, the greatest sword fighter in the world, the king of the blade, a god, he was A God, An admin, A king, a master.

Yet he was here, pathetic and weak, vulnerable, feeble, losing his mind over an argument regarding a secret he didnt want to admit to his best friend, despite how many times he asked.

"Fucking hell, telamon." He choked, enraged, gagging on his words like he was gonna die, he was mad, damnit! He hated being mad! He was pent up with anger, like the firebrand's inferno, scalding, burning, 100 degrees Celsius, his mind was a reactor and his impulses the catalyst. He was a searing mess of flesh and pure gold, melting away from the heat of his own, enraged core, he was mad at builderman, he was mad at himself,damnit! He was pissed off at both of them!

He hated it. He shouldn't hate it, he was telamon, he should be devoid of that emotion. Yet here it was, rising, erupting, threatening to split him in two, take out his organs and throw them to the floor with no hesitation. Fuck. He didn't know anymore. He was just, mad. Angry. Full of hate he thought he'd managed to escape from.

He could still hear builderman sobbing, it didn't help, made him feel worse. Why did he feel worse?! He was still mad at builderman, he was still mad!

He was still upset.

He should focus on next round. He should prepare.

He pulled out his sword, checking the blade. It'd gotten dull, growing blunt, no good for stunning the killer, whoever it was. Somehow the thing hadn't been dented scratched or tarnished, probably the spectres doing. He grabbed a rock from his pocket, only thing he could find to sharpen his main weapon, dragging the stone across the blade, scrapping at it, forcing the tip into a point.

"Wonder who the next killer will be…" shedletsky huffed, still scrapping his sword to a point, he had to adjust his strategy everytime when it came to those guys. Thank god there were only 4 killers for now, anymore and his brain would explode.

He just hoped it wasn't noli. Anyone but noli, please, that guy was a nightmare to deal with. His voice gave him a headache with all the glitching and sudden cuts to different noises and his stupid hallucinations were horrible. The guy just got here and he'd already wrecked havoc on the survivors that he'd been struggling to mitigate with his slashes.

Thank fuck there were other sentinels, he'd probably go mad trying to do all that on his own. Thank god the spectre couldn't read thoughts otherwise he'd almost certainly jinx that round and he'd never forgive himself ever.

---

"what did shedletsky mean by "round"" 1x asked, cocking her head at the rest of the survivors.

"Oh, did…nobody tell you?" Elliot replied, surprised.

"Nope. Not at all. Can someone tell me before something happens."

Builderman looked up, he'd stopped sobbing, his eyes were still teary.

"Oh, uhm, how to i explain this."

He started fidgeting with his sleeve, one of the threads had started to come loose and he was wrapping it around his fingers.

"So basically, we're kinda, stuck in an endless loop of fixing generators and dying to killers. and i guess trying to fight back? Its…not fun but the bastard keeping us locked here thinks its funny i guess, so thats great. The guy really likes messing with 007n7, he knows like. Half the killers."

"You sound like you're going to cry"

"Its nothing. Just got into an argument."

"With that thing?" 1x pointed up at the attic. "I heard."

"…yeah, yeah with him. Guessing you don't like him much?"

"Tch, obviously"

"Heh." Builderman looked away, a melancholic smile on his face, his bidy ticking and whirring. "I don't know whats gotten into him, he's not. This reclusive."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Maybe its just the stress of it all, he did mention he gets worried about new survivors but, i dont know. He's acting out of sorts." Mused builderman, "besides, ive never had an argument with him like THAT. We dont, we dont really argue much and even then we dont get that heated"

"Its shedletsky, he's just like that"

"I mean. I guess, but still."

Builderman started tapping his fingers on a desk next to him, a little bit zoned out. 1x kept hanging around him.

He wasn't that bad. 1x had to admit she didn't mind the robotic admin that much, atleast in comparison to the others. Maybe he was just trying to make it up to her for the wrongful ban, maybe he was just, like that.

He didn't mind, atleast he wasn't being a jerk to her, or threatening to ban her. Even if it was actually doombringer who made that threat, and brought the hammer down on her.

At least he was better than shedletsky, although that wasn't difficult to achieve in her books.

"So, do we like. Fight ALL the killers at once?"

Elliot choked on his pizza.

"NO!? Oh god please don't give the spectre ideas-"

"Oh. Wait im sorry who-"

"Spectre. Basically the sick fuck keeping us here." Chance hissed, "the guy has a sick sense of humor. It sucks."

"…great."

"Atleast the chat filters don't affect us in here, which is nice."

"Yeah, Agreeded, its way easier to freak out when you can swear." Elliot added, "which…is probably why we aren't affected by those. "

"Well, at least theres something good about this place."

"Yea. At least."

---

Shedletsky placed the rock back in his pocket. His sword was now sharpened again, looked like it could cut right through flesh and bone in a single slash. He'd calmed down by then, put out the fire, administered the antidote to his own poison, thawed the ice. The winds had died down, the shadows had the receeded and the blinding light had dimmed.

The next round would be soon, probably an hour or two. He was dreading it, more and more.

What if a new killer was to make their debut? Usually new survivors came with new killers, taph showed up shortly before noli, 007n7 showed up right before c00lkidd, it was almost like some fucked up omen.

He hoped it wasn't an omen. He'd probably stab himself on the spot, maybe let telamon take over if he had to, go back to old ways, let that parasite of a deity take hold of him once more.

He set his sword down, leaning against a railing of the attic, the gold tips of his feathers digging into the wood. He contemplated his options. Either he languished up here in the attic for an hour, risk the rest of the survivors trying to drag him back down, or go back down and have everyone question him on his sudden change in demeanor.

He'd stay up here.

He didn't need to see 1x again, he didn't want to see them. He didn't deserve to see them.

At all.

He stared into his reflection of his blade, moving it around, watching his visage shift and warp on the metal surface. Damnit he wished he was holding illumina or the firebrand or the windforce in his hands, he wanted them back, he wanted his swords back, he wanted to clasp that glassy metal again and swing it around like a toy, sending glimmering sparkles flying.

Damnit, he missed the illumina. He was stuck with this random iron sword that he never had a connection with.

He wanted his sword back, so bad he wanted it back.

Next round would be in an hour. That was all he was certain of.

Next round would be in an hour.

Fuck. He hoped 1x would be ok.

Notes:

https://www.deviantart.com/undrskore/art/Survivor-1x1x1x1-1233845438

I MADE A DEDIGN FOR MY DARLING 1X!! LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK LOOK

Chapter 5: Hes just a normal robloxian, right?

Summary:

1x's first rouunnddddd :P

Notes:

I JUST GOT LOST FOR AN HOUR ON MY WAY HOME FROM COLLEGE MY HEAD HURTS but here is your angst.

New round.

The killer was slasher. Great, dealing with him was usually not the hardest thing in the world if you knew what you were doing. The map? C00l carnival. Nobody really liked that map, especially not 007n7, shedletsky had asked but he never responded.

Slasher was not the most difficult killer to deal with, not by a long shot, if you knew when to strike and when to start running, you were pretty much safe, he had no ranged attacks, he couldn't really see the survivors through walls and he was pretty slow, hell he was probably new himself.

Unfortunately, 1x did not know what he was doing.

Probably, shedletsky didn't want to underestimate her at all, but he knew deep down he was gonna struggle. Atleast she had the venomshank, atleast they had one wielder of a sfoth sword on their side, that was always a good sign.

"1x, are you sure you know what you're doing?!" Elliot shouted, "You need to be careful this is your first run!"

"I'll be fine." 1x scoffed, "he's only a normal robloxian, how bad could it be?"

Elliot frowned. God, he knew that 1x had probably just jinxed something there, he vividly remembered saying that and then getting his ass handed to him when he first got here.

"What?"
"Look, please dont go underestimating killers like that. It never goes well, atleast try and stay near the sentinels, just in case something happens."

"The who?"

"Sentinels. The guys who like, stun the killers so the other guys have a chance." Elliot clumsily explained, "like guest 1337, two time, chance,..."

"And?"

"...shedletsky. but I'd recommend staying by guest, he's real good at stunning people"

"Riiightt" growled 1x, guess she really couldn't escape him at all. "And, so...are there other groups?"

"Yea yeah, supports and survivalists. Theyre pretty obvious, and we're kinda in a round and we need to start moving."

1x darted away, she was by her lonesome. She would probably find guest 1337 at least, or figure out what he was supposed to do. He was a sentinel right? He was supposed to be stunning the killer, i mean, they had a massive poisonous sword on them, what else would they be.

Theyd be fine, they were good with their sword, she knew it like the back of her hand, this would be easy.

She spotted 1337 in the distance, running up to him as fast as he could manage, tagging alongside him.

"Oh, 1x? You alright?"
"Yea, elliot suggested i tag along."

"Right. You're a sentinel too right"

"I guess."

"Right. Just keep on the lookout, you never know."

"Heh! This'll be easy, he's just a normal robloxian, right?"

1337 just looked at her.

"Right?"

Guest 1337 shook his head, looking around for something, probably the killer.
1x also surveyed the area, spotting a red box looking thing in a corner, she walked over, intrigued.
"Whats this."

"Generator. Basically we're supposed to fix those while not dying."

"And how do i fix one of these?"

"Just match up the wire colors, pretty simple. You fix that, I'll keep watch ok?"

"Wh- alright."

1x crouched down, picking up two of the wires.

"And now what?"

"Just plug the wires into the bit that matches the color it is."

"Right"
1x carefully started plugging wires into the sockets, overlaping cable after cable.

"And the whoever is keeping us here thinks this is difficult?"

"Well, i dont know but-"

Guest jerked a bit, startled, his head whipping around. He raised his fists, on guard, ready to start swinging at any moment. He could hear something.

"Hang on, whats- you hear that too?" 1x asked, reaching for her sword on instinct.

"shit."

"What?!"

"Slasher."
1x tilted her head, confused.

"Wha-"

"Its slasher. He's approaching. And fast. Be on guard."

1x plugged in the last of the cables, unsheathing her sword and standing up, holding it tightly, ready and willing to slice someone to pieces.

Its just a normal robloxian. How bad could it be?

"Thats no normal robloxian,  i promise."

"GUEST !! 1X!! OVER HERE!"

Guest looked over. It was builderman, standing near a freshly built sentry, waving them over. A promise of safety that 1337 couldn't refuse, rushing over to the sentry in no time flat, 1x trailing behind.

"There's a generator nearby here, and ive gotta go build a dispenser over there."

"Oh. Gotcha."

Guest ran over to fix the generator, leaving 1x and builderman close to the sentry.

"You have that sword right? Cmon, pretty sure elliot n taph are on low health."

"Right. So i just swing at the killer and hope for the best?"

"Exactly. Im hoping you can poison him, that'd be real helpful."

"With, my sword?"

"Yes! Exactly!" Builderman confirmed as they ran, they needed to find taph and elliot and FAST.

"And wheres this slasher guy? Is he near-"

That sound again. They were getting closer, 1x readied his sword, her hand hurting from holding it so hard.

A slash rang out, hitting air, missing its target. The sound of an explosion following shortly after, a haze of pink light engulfing some of the map.

"TAPH!" Builderman shouted, only to hear elliot instead.

"W-we're good! Still alive just-"
"Need a dispenser?"

"Yeah."

"👍"

Slasher stood there, calculating, he could easily wipe the three of them out in one fell swoop.

He raised his machete, fully prepared to kill all 3 of them at once, only for 1x to step in, swinging his blade with no hesitation, hitting slasher in the torso. Slasher flinched, crumpling just a bit, as the venomshank in her hand glowed acid green.

"You three get outta here! I'll handle this guy."

"Are you sure!?"

"YES! JUST RUN!!!" 1x commanded, as slasher recovered, striking her with his machete, she hissed, still shouting at the trio to run.

Taph threw a mine at slasher, before elliot and builderman dragged them away.

"⚠️⚠️‼💣🛡👁👁‼"

1x blocked her line of sight with her arm as the tripmine detonated, slasher recoiled again, startled, before regaining his bearings and lunging at 1x, managing to strike her with his machete, she hissed in pain, stumbling back while trying to slash at him back.

"Hes just a normal robloxian-" she kept telling herself, as she fended him off. She could tell they were getting injured more and more. His arms burned, his legs burned, everything burned with pain of the fresh wounds littering his body.

She struck him again, poisoning him and buying them time to run for his life. She hurried away, sword still clutched in his hand, just in case.

He needed to find builderman and fast. Or elliot. Or a medkit. She just needed to find a way to save themselves.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-"

He could see builderman in the distance, hanging around taph and elliot. She could tell they were injured, badly. A dispenser was being constructed nearby.

She couldn't lead the killer over there, at all, that'd be HORRIBLE. She had to just keep fighting and hope another sentinel would step in. She could hear someone was approaching, probably guest 1337, maybe shedletsky if she was unlucky. She turned, trying to keep slasher off of him until they got here and got slasher away.

Fuck.

They could see now. It was guest 1337, great, they just had to hold on for a little longer til he got here to stun this bastard and buy her some time to flee. She felt bad about offsetting the killer onto him, sure but he was desperate, she just needed to get to safety to heal.

"1x!!!"

"Dont worry- i- i think i can-"

Something sharp pierced right through 1x's chest.

FUCK. It hurt.

She couldn't feel much, his whole body slowly going numb. Fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck- all they could really feel was that cold, hard steel in their chest, they couldn't breathe, they felt hazy, they couldn't tell if they could feel their heartbeat or not, more likely not. They felt lightheaded, dizzy, hazy, completely out of it, she could tell he was done for, his vision was fading fast.

All he could hear was guest 1337 calling out, it was muffled, they could barely make out what he was saying.

Slasher rended his machete out of 1x's dead body, turning to 1337.

He couldn't let them get to builderman taph and elliot. He couldnt. There was only a couple more seconds on the clock. Theyd be ok if he just stayed strong. For them.

He clenched his fist, and hurled it straight for slasher's face.

Chapter 6: This is no place of honor

The cabin ceiling.

Thats what 1x saw when she woke up.

Again.

She hissed in pain, wincing a bit as she sat up, clutching her chest, right where the stab wound was, it was bandaged, her arms were covered in bandaids too, hell, she even had one on her face. god damnit, everything hurt, bad.

"ah, are you ok?" noob mumbled, holding onto a packet of bandages. dussekar also knelt by his side, holding a bandaid in his hand.

"yeah, im good, just, bleh."

"understandable, one's first round is never the most…enjoyable."

"tch, tell me about it. god that hurt."

noob wistfully exhaled, a bit forlorn.

"yeah, unless you're a killer, then its probably kinda fun. maybe. i dunno, im not a killer." he proposed, "i swear they always look like they're enjying themselves way more than we are. atleast noli usually does."

"do not make any such assumptions, noob, we do not know what theyre truly feeling."

"yeah but, noli seems to be enjoying himself. c00lkidd too, i dunno, its all, eh."

1x huffed, crossing his arms, annoyed, before flinching a bit.

"hold still, please, it is for your own good." dussekar advised, placing another bandaid over a massive cut on 1x's knee. "its just to let the injuries heal, this is the last round of the day, we can take a rest anyways."

"wh- how can you tell!?"

"dussekar is just- i dont know, he works in weird ways, i'll tell you that."

"figured, he's an admin, right? admin's are just generally weird."

1x just huffed as dusekkar put more bandaids on them.

"So, did we win?"

"Dunno, round's still going."

"Oh."

"We shall see, but i hope luck is on our side this time." Dusekkar crossed his fingers, "but i am sure the others will pull through. Guest 1337 is a skilled fighter, he'll likely hold off the killer for a while more."

"Who's still in the round?"

"Uhmm…guest 1337, taph, builds, elliot aaaannnddd, ..."

"Shedletsky."

"Great." 1x scowled. "Atleast i dont have to see him for a while longer."

Dusekkar started bandaging up 1x's knee, the latter tensing up.

"Ow-" he hissed, "…don't worry, im fine."

Noob sipped his bloxy cola, leaning up against a wall, she looked bothered, incredibly bothered, still itching at his own bandages. Dusekkar turned to him, shaking his head.

"Noob."

"Sorry, sorry."

1x fidgetted with his hair, coiling it around her finger, a little bit guilty. Damnit, she wished they could've held off slasher a little longer, god damnit they wished they could've done that. They had to keeping themselves, that it was her first round, and that she tried her damn best, that nobody's first round usually ends well. That nobody would be too upset at them for fucking up those last few seconds before slasher fucking STABBED THEM.

"…how long is it til the round is over?"

"Like,…uh…not long? Maybe a couple seconds."

 

"Huh."

Great, she'd have to see That Bastard Telamon again. That was the best way she could put it. They were, in all honesty, fucking mad that shedletsky was still alive and they weren't. She was SEETHING. Absolutely enraged, pissed off, in all the ways she could come up with.

But then again, when wasn't she mad at shedletsky, when didn't he hate him. That was their thing, their gimmick if you will.

She had to be better than shedletsky, to outlive him, to win when he couldn't, to just do something he can't. God, she had to outclass him in all ways, instead of dying like this, damnit!

They hoped they put up a good fight, atleast.

Noob could tell he was mad.

"H-hey, you alright there?"

"Im fine."

Noob could tell they were not fine. Whatever, he wouldnt dwell too hard, wouldn't go very well, would it. He'd seen the argument with shedletsky that happened earlier, he didn't want or need another one breaking out like a plague.

"…i bet this time we're gonna win."

"Tell me about it."

"We've only got a few seconds left on the clock."

"Right." 1x blankly stated, "who died first."

"Oh, uh…"

Chance awkwardly smiled as noob pointed at them.

"…how. You literally have a gun."

"It exploded…" he admitted, "my luck wasn't that great this round."

1x cracked up a bit, prompting chance to perk up, red faced, or as red as someone who's grey as stone to go.

"Don't laugh!!!"

The round ended, the survivors who hadn't been torn up and mauled by the teeth of a chainsaw showing up in the cabin out of nowhere, catching the others off guard, especially 007n7, the guy almost tripped, standing on his tail in the process, with 1x and noob cringing at the sight.

Shedletsky almost immediately scurried away, i guess he was still a little stressed from the argument, rushing upstairs to isolate from the others, quarantining himself from the rest of the cabin like he was contaminated with some kind of disease. It was, bizarre to say the least.

Builderman sat down, wiping his forehead, while guest 1337 joined the rest of the survivors.

"Everyone ok?" He asked. Getting alot of "yeah"s and "we're alright"s from the small group on the floor.

"Alright, that's good!"

1x was a bit puzzled, noob leaned to whisper to her.

"Its fine, he just does that after a round."

"Oh."

1337 crouched down right next to 1x, patting them on the shoulder, smiling softly, almost like he was proud of her.

Maybe because he was? Maybe, she didn't know, maybe he couldn't tell the difference between criticism and praise, or she was just not used to the latter. He didn't know, now did he, he wouldn't be able to discern something he was never shown. What was he thinking, it was guest 1337, the guy was a sweetheart under that tough, rugged, battlescarred exterior, the man was much too sweet for someone who looked like he'd seen things too horrid to describe, for someone who was scarred by bullets and bayonets. He was too kind, much too kind, much to kind to someone like them

"You did good out there." Guest assured her, smiling, he was clearly proud, damnit, he was proud. "You held off slasher for quite a while, you're really good with that sword of yours."

1x's eyes glimmered. She wasn't expecting praise, adoration, to be commended, not like this, he didn't think this would happen. That someone would be proud of them, for her swordsmanship, for her prowess. She was overwhelmed, silent, still staring at guest with stars scattered in their eyes.

"…i-…thank you."

"Keep it up, k?"

Guest walked off, to make sure the other survivors were alright, presumably, 1x was still startled, quiet and a bit shaky, that …she didnt- she-…

She didn't know how to cope, damnit she didn't know how to process that, that kindness, it made her feel like she was going fucking insane. Why was everyone here so kind to her…treating her like a robloxian, like a person, like a friend. She didn't know, she didn't fucking know, she was growing teary eyed, being treated like she was worth something felt nice, damnit. She didn't-…fuck it, she'd keep it up, even if he died trying, these people were so- so nice to them, that was the best way they could put it.

Well everyone but shedletsky, he'd been avoiding him like his life depended on it, that bastard hadn't changed at all, had he.

Oh well, the guy wasn't really around anyways, who the fuck cared right now. She could always surpass him, easily, she could easily surpass him, he hated him, he had to surpass that bastard.

---

shedletsky sat up in the attic again. He was aware he was acting weird, everyone was catching on, everyone, literally everyone. He was covered in scratches and injuries, injuries he was covering in plasters from a medkit he'd held onto before the round ended. He wrapped a bandage around his forearm, covering a massive gash, that slasher had callously driven into it with a machete, he didn't need this thing getting infected. He'd seen what an infection can do, he didn't want to experience it first hand, at all, ever, no way, not at all.

He slumped against a chair, still encasing his arm in gauze, hoping that his gilded claws wouldn't tear the bandage. He just needed to quell the bleeding so he could get to coating the rest of himself in the contents of the medkits. He wasn't too happy about it, if he was honest.

He kept thinking about everything going on, the newbie, the argument, the last round, everything. It was too much, all too much, he hated it, he hated the curent times, he…hated himself.

Yeah, he fucking despised himself.

He'd already lashed out at builderman over something stupid, he'd barely even done anything all round, he was wandering aimlessly, his sword glinting in the dark, hand clasped around the hilt so hard that the ridges in the handles were boring into his skin. He'd kept his distance, stayed away, backed off like some kind of coward. Maybe he was doing generators? Maybe, he didn't really know, he couldn't exactly remember. He was out of it, on autopilot, filled with hatred at himself.

Atleast the feelings were mutual. Atleast he and 1x could agree on something.

That telamon, now shedletsky, fucking sucked.

Atleast that was something they could agree on, maybe 007n7 would agree too, he didn't know, nor want to. He wouldn't ask.

He kept patching himself up.

He mindlessly patched himself up.

He was hating himself so much. He hated it, fucking hell, he hated it, so much. He couldn't deny it. He was regretting keeping to himself like that, wasting the round, wasting his chances, maybe more of the survivors would've, yknow, SURVIVED, yknow, what theyre supposed to be doing!? Maybe ATLEAST one or two more of them would made it to the end.

Atleast it was the last round for that day.

He could try and just kinda forget that ever happen and ignore any questions, he could zone out, he'd lost his appetite, lost his voice, it was like he was losing himself.

Actually, now that he thought about it, he was acting a bit like tel-

No wait no he wasn't he shouldnt think about that at all he shouldn't even play with that thought. At all, no way, not at all, that would truly destroy him.

He was shedletsky, always will be, even if he used to be telamon, and probably still was, he didn't want to dwell on that past of his too much, he just needed to forget about all the fucked up shit he did as the god of the heights, and how badly he messed up that round. He just had to keep patching himself up, it was almost kinda calming if he zoned out and just focused on that.

He swore he could hear someone calling his name, it sounded vague, hazy, maybe it was builderman, maybe it was 007n7, maybe it was chance, they all sounded the same to him in his zoned out state. Oh, well he was fine, he wasn't really gonna respond either way, he had wounds to dress and sins to repress, he didn't want to worry about people being worried about him right now, he'd probably snap at them anyways. He didn't want to start doing that again, god, he didn't want to fall back into old habits from the heights.

He just needed to pretend he was fine.

He just needed to pretend he was just…he didn't know. He just needed to keep his ties to 1x and telamon hidden, keep his lips sealed and he'd feel better in, about a week, he could always run away from his problems and past. He'd been doing it for so long it'd become second nature. It was embedded in his whole, it was muscle memory, completely normal and easy to do.

He put his hand down into the medkit to pull out another bandaid. Fumbling around, still zoned out, still in a fuzzy, staticky blank void, surrounded by eigengrau, completely out of it.

He kept feeling around.

He snapped back to reality, the interior of the cabin surrounding him once more. He looked into the medkit, confused.

It was empty.

Chapter 7: Locked in a golden prison

Notes:

Shedletsky 🤝 1x1x1x1.

 

Hating shedletsky

Builderman had to confront shedletsky.

He had to. Who else would? He was acting out of the ordinary, acting like he was ill, ever since 1x had arrived, he'd basically become an entirely different person, he was isolated, agitated, a little too eager to shut down any worries with a simple "im fine", quick to respond to any questions with an excuse of "its personal. ", he wasn't the mostly active last round, at all, barely, builderman barely saw him, he was keeping to himself, it wasn't like him, at all. Not one bit. There was something wrong. Something horribly wrong, he needed to pry those answers out of him.

The attic. That was where shedletsky was hiding.

Builderman ascended, his footsteps heavy and deliberate, like a machine calculating every move. He was stern, focused, tail unmoving behind him. He just wanted to know if shed was alright and what was going on. Just that, nothing more, nothing less, no matter what he could keep prying, and prying, and prying.

 

"Shedletsky."

He could see the golden blades embedded in his friend's wings, peaking out from under a table. It shifted, as the admin flitted around, trying to get away from builderman. It was obvious, too obvious. Something was wrong.

He kept moving, advancing on his hiding place, he had to keep going, he needed answers. He just wanted to know what was bothering him so much.

"Shedletsky…"

A muffled, half-tired voice responded to his call, shedletsky could clearly hear him, he clearly could, he was acknowledging he was there.

"Telamon does not wish to converse at this moment."

Builderman stood silently.

"…shedletsky, please i just want to-"

"Telamon isn't available at this moment."

Builderman grew more worried, shedletsky rarely ever spoke like THAT, did he??? What the hell was wrong with his friend?? Was he sick? Was this one of his stupid little tricks?! Was he under the influence of something?! He didn't know but he was freaking out, just a little bit. Shedletsky wasn't usually this reclusive, even as telamon he wasn't like this. Builderman didn't let up, he couldn't, that was his friend, damnit! That was his best friend! If anything, itd be fucked up for him NOT to keep on trying to make sure he's ok.

"Shedletsky. Please stop avoiding me."

"Telamon isn't worthy of being around you, turn back now."

"SHEDLETSKY DONT SAY THAT!" Builderman shouted, his temperature rising, motors buzzing and whirring, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?"

He was in shock, startled, he never thought of shedletsky as the type to say that, no, not at all. Something was wrong, so wrong, so so so so so wrong.

"SHEDLETSKY, JUST TELL ME ANYTHING!! YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD! NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT! YOU'RE SCARING ME, TELAMON! YOU'RE SCARING ME!!"

"Why do you worry-?! Its nothing you should be concerned with!! Dont you already have so much to worry about!? Telamon should be the least of your concerns!!"

Fuck, he was slipping back into old habits, old patterns, old ways of his he vowed to leave behind. Fuck, no, he didn't want this, he didn't want to return to…

No, he didn't want to dwell on it.

At all.

"Just back off! Please! Tel- no, I BEG YOU. JUST RUN, LEAVE, PLEASE ITS NOTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT!! Telamon is FINE, i am fine, EVERYTHING IS OK, IM JUST- TELAMON IS…"

He couldn't think of anything, no, nonono, no this wouldn't do, he had to think of something now, right now, he didn't need builderman poking and prodding where he shouldn't, he was already stressed to no end, he didn't need to know more, at all.

Telamon was a creature of secrets, he knew that, builderman knew that, atleast he…hoped he did. Fuck, he hoped builderman knew that.

"Telamon is just stressed."

"THIS IS MORE THAN JUST STRESS TELAMON!!!" Builderman was growing hotter, his circuitry beginning to burn up, "YOU'VE NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS BEFORE!!! YOU NEVER ACT LIKE THIS WHEN NEW SURVIVORS SHOW UP!! THIS IS NEW, TELAMON, THIS IS WEIRD, PLEASE I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS!!!"

Shedletsky looked on, a void boring its way through his heart, he felt wrong, guilty, terribly guilty, no, he had to keep this secret, he didn't want builderman worrying about anything else, he didnt want builderman worrying about something so trivial and hyperspecific that it only pertained to one person in the history of robloxia, he felt awful for this, sure, he felt horrible about this, terrible, it was a malignant remorse he couldn't cure, these secret was malignant, burrowing through his flesh, necrotizing his morals, his psyche, his sanity. Sure, he felt bad keeping this secret of his, but it was for the best. Yeah, it was for the best.

A white lie never hurt anyone.

"There are somethings you-"

Builderman grabbed one of shedletsky's hands, chrome hitting gold, startling him immensely, he held shedletsky's talons, tightly, no intent on letting go, his hands were hot, concerningly hot, wirring and buzzing could be heard from his chest. He was shaking, his face was stern, but still worried, he wasn't letting go, he just wasn't letting go, it hurt just a bit, the pressure of the grey metal against his skin and feathers hurt, he was hurting him.

"Shedletsky PLEASE, just, tell me something, ANYTHING! Be honest with me, just this once!! You're clearly not alright!! Im worried, shed! Im worried about you! We ALL are!!"

"No- its-" shedletsky exhaled, bothered. "Its nothing you need to be concerned with, you already worry too much."

"AND THIS IS WHY IM WORRIED!! SHEDLETSKY, PLEASE, HIDING WHATEVER'S WRONG IS SCARING ME MORE!!"

"Builder-"

"JUST. Please, even a HINT to whats going on would be sufficient. Just please tell me whats going on." Builderman pleaded, tightening his grip on shedletsky's hand, it hurt a little bit more. He didn't tell him, he didn't want to worry him even further, a little white lie he could just brush off.

"Just be genuine for once. Please…"

Shedletsky lowered his head, he caved, he caved just a bit. He couldn't reveal everything, no, that'd destroy everything, that'd fell the house of cards like an axe boring through the trunk of a pine tree. Just a little bit of information would probably get builderman off his back, quell his panic, cool his systems off.

"Its 1x…" he confessed, "i…"

Builderman stared, jaw dropped slightly, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

"1x…i…i-" shedletsky stammered. Fuck, why couldn't he say it?! There was some kind of barrier stripping the words from his tongue.

He couldn't say it.

He couldn't fucking say it.

He had to say it.

Please, just say it.

"1x, i …know her." He softly muttered, guilt still tearing away at him.

Builderman didn't say anything, his face betrayed his shock and confusion. Why didn't shedletsky TELL HIM!??…why did she hate him so much?

"…and?"

Shedletsky said nothing. He wasnt saying anything more, he didn't want builderman to think any less of him than he probably already did. He could just tell another white lie, run from the truth, he already had, he already was running, why not keep going?

"Shed, why does- why does 1x hate you so much."

"I dont know." He lied, crossing his fingers, hoping and praying builderman fell for it.

"…alright. But atleast please stop isolating yourself, please. Please, just, come down?"

"No, its," telam- no, shedletsky turned away. "Its for the best if telamon stays here."

"But-"

"Telamon declines your request, and is truly sorry, it is for the best."

Builderman let go of shedletsky's hands.

"Then i will stay up here." He declared, "im not leaving you behind!"

"Telamon implores you join the others, it will benefit you more than if you stay up here. It is for the best, you are more worthy of being down there with the others than me. I implore you, you will only hurt yourself if you stay in my guilded cage."

Builderman couldn't get through to him. Atleast he wasn't crying. Atleast he knew something now.

"And, promise you will not tell a soul?"

Builderman hesitated. He shouldn't take that deal, he should tell someone, right?? Maybe taph? Maybe dusekkar? Anyone? This was information, information should be shared, passed around, spread like a virus, wouldn't it be fucked up if he kept it secret???

He nodded.

"Right, promise."

Builderman left.

Finally.

Shedletsky retreated. It dawned on him.

 

Fuck, he was starting to talk like …

He was reverting to old habits, old speaking patterns, old mannerisms, lying out of his teeth, speaking as if he was narrating his own words, holding secrets close to his gold-caged chest. Fuck, no, no, he couldn't revert back. He thought the past was something you couldn't return to, something one and done, he started panicking, hidden under a shadowed mask of a smile.

Why was telamon making his return.

Why was he going back, he didnt want to go back.

He was panicking.

He was panicking, his face felt flushed and hot, he thought he'd left that life behind, he thought he'd escaped the cage, the bars of gold had been broken and yet they threatened to close in again around his ribs.

Fuck.