Chapter Text
Screams, fighting, fire, smoke, and dirt. Burnt flesh, motionless bodies everywhere. A disaster. A war that seemed to have no end. An enemy that demanded everything from all involved.
Blood ran into his eyes as he stood protectively in front of his apprentice, a sword in his hand. The mass of Sad Man's parade was blurred in the distance. For one last time, Himiko Toga's angry and sad gaze pierced his memory.
Pain. Then—darkness...
*
The next time Hawks opened his eyes, he had to squint against the bright, artificial light of a hospital room.
The loud beeping of the monitors roared in his ears. The pungent smell of disinfectant burned his nose, despite his breathing mask.
Why was he here? What had happened? A mission failed?
His tired golden eyes slowly scanned the room as the recent events gradually returned to the hero's memory.
Memories of a terrible war. A seemingly hopeless battle against All for One.
He remembered that his quirk had been taken away from him – and yet he could still feel his wings.
Then he remembered the body of his only and dearest student, motionless amidst the rubble. The young hero had saved his life so many times.
Hawks tried restlessly to sit up, while images of blue, blazing flames simultaneously came to mind. Endeavor…and his entire family had disappeared in that wall of flames.
Hawks struggled to stand up, but pain shot through his body like lightning. Cables and tubes also prevented him from doing so. The beeping of the monitors grew louder, faster and faster.
It wasn't long before a man with a distinctive, mushroom-shaped head, followed by a young nurse, rushed into the room.
"Hawks! Please calm down. Everything's okay!" the man said urgently but kindly. Hawks recognized this man. He was a very friendly and well-known doctor, stationed at Musutafa General Hospital. That answered his first, unspoken question.
With one hand on his oxygen mask and wide-open eyes, the hero stared at the doctor.
"Please lie down again. You're in the intensive care unit and your body is still weak."
Hawks obeyed the doctor and slowly sank back onto the bed. He squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced in pain.
The doctor carefully removed the oxygen mask while the nurse quickly checked the monitors and IVs and then prepared a glass of water.
Only then did Hawks notice that his throat felt rough and dry, as if he had swallowed a handful of sand. He greedily grabbed the glass and emptied it in a few seconds.
"...what happened?" he finally asked, his voice raspy.
The doctor took a chair and sat down next to the hospital bed.
"I'll try to explain this as gently as possible," he began. "Right now, you're in Musutafu General Hospital, like most of the heroes who fought and were injured in the war. The heroes won the war against All for One. Nevertheless, there were many deaths and even more injuries."
The doctor explained to Hawks that he had been in a coma for several days. Broken bones, internal injuries, near-death.
The hero could have guessed all this, but the information was still hard to swallow.
"After All for One was defeated, the specialties returned to their rightful owners. Unfortunately, your wings still didn't recover from the burns, as your quirk factor remains damaged.“, the doctor continued.
Wings? So they were still there after all! Hawks had thought the familiar feeling was some kind of phantom pain, but after hearing this information, he cast a strained glance over his shoulder and stretched out his battered wings.
A pitiful sight. Once brilliant red, large feathers and wings with a considerable span were a shadow of their former selves. The feathers were dull and ruffled. The wings weren't even half the size they had been before.
Hawks immediately averted his gaze and folded his wings close to his body, as if ashamed of them. He quickly turned his thoughts back to the more important matters.
"Have you seen the UA student Tsukuyomi? He must have been with me?" he asked, his voice still dry.
The doctor nodded and smiled.
"I'm not allowed to say too much, but the boy is recovering well. His life is no longer in danger."
No longer in danger... the good news, however, suggested that Tsukuyomi had just escaped death.
Hawks breathed a sigh of relief, despite the growing guilt.
"What about Endeavor? And his family?" he wanted to know.
The doctor's smile faded a little.
"Endeavor is still receiving treatment in the intensive care unit. He's alive, but only the next few days will tell if he'll make it."
Hawks' heart clenched painfully when he heard this news.
"Dabi... No... Touya Todoroki is in custody. The remaining family members have already left the hospital."
The hero nodded absently. The news of his idol's critical condition left a bitter aftertaste. Extreme exhaustion spread through the young man, and he let the back of his head fall onto the pillow.
"You still need a good rest. I suggest you let this information sink in. We'll bring you something to calm you down and a gentle meal. Please let me know if you need anything."
"Thanks, Doc," Hawks murmured with his eyes closed.
He heard the two of them leave the room. This simple conversation had drained his strength like a fight against a villain.
*
The days that followed were literally a fever dream. Between brief waking periods, the injured hero slept. Dreams blended with reality.
Was that Twice standing in the corner of the room, staring at Hawks with an unreadable expression? The hero wanted to get up, apologize, and somehow make everything right. But he couldn't.
He mistook the blurry silhouette of the nurse for Himiko Toga, vengefully trying to tamper with the equipment.
Hawks became restless, but again couldn't muster the strength to stand up.
When he opened his eyes again, he saw the familiar face of Fumikage. The student's usually sharp gaze looked tired and empty. The feathers on his head stuck out in all directions. Dark Shadow peeked out from behind his shoulder.
Hawks longed to jump up and hug his student, laughing with relief. But his body was heavy as lead, and so all he could do was whisper a barely audible "Fumikage."
"Hawks! You're awake!"
"The high-dose painkillers are making him sleepy," said a voice outside Hawks‘ field of vision. It was the doctor's voice.
"Nonsense...I...am in top shape," Hawks croaked slowly and weakly, his voice husky.
"Fumikage...are..."
"I'm fine, Hawks," the student replied before his mentor could finish. The mentor smiled and closed his eyes. Only after a brief moment did he speak again.
"Can...can you find Bubaigawara and...tell him..." He couldn't quite finish the sentence and just sighed.
Fumikage gave the doctor a questioning look.
"That's also from the painkillers. He sometimes hallucinates. I suggest we let him continue to recover."
Fumikage nodded and looked back at his mentor.
"I'm being discharged today, but I'll come visit you again."
The apprentice's last words blurred into a roaring in Hawks's ears, who was already slipping back into the depths of a restless sleep.
*
After two more days, Hawks was stable again. His painkillers were reduced, and he was transferred to the regular station. He would stay there for a few more days for observation.
As soon as he was able to stand up somewhat independently, the hero treated himself to a long-overdue shower. For the first time in days, he looked at himself in the mirror. He carefully removed the bandages on his head and saw a large, presumably permanent, scar on his forehead.
He sighed. The sight of his puny wings also made him sad. Even after the shower, the feathers seemed brittle and dull.
At least the remaining injuries had healed well. He had been told that Recovery Girl regularly made her rounds at the hospital to help heroes who had fought in the war get back on their feet more quickly.
The initial focus was on the most seriously injured and on the students who should never have seen such a war.
Hawks vaguely remembered Fumikage's visit. Now it made sense that his student was allowed to go home so early, even though his injuries were certainly no less severe.
By late afternoon of the first day, Hawks was already feeling uneasy. The hospital room, lonely, sterile, and cold, felt like a cage. Out there in the world, there was surely complete chaos.
Much had been destroyed. People had lost their homes and certainly loved ones too.
How were the heroes doing? Despite the bitter battle with many losses, had they been able to rekindle trust in humanity? How many hadn't made it?
What about the Hero Commission? The chairwoman was murdered, the commission dispersed. What did this mean for Hawks, whose entire existence depended on it? Did he even have a place to live? Where would he go?
An unpleasent tingling spread through him.
The lonely, idle sitting was driving him crazy, and as his thoughts swirled, Endeavor came to mind.
Had he woken up by now?
The image of his idol, with his arm severed, covered in blood and deep wounds, was burned into his brain. Hawks didn't want to be pushy, but he and Endeavor had grown into a good team despite initial difficulties. And Hawks simply had to know how his idol was doing.
And so he hoisted himself up from his hospital bed. A touch of dizziness made him pause briefly before he staggered to the door.
The hallway was bustling with activity. Doctors and nurses were everywhere, tending to the numerous wounded. They were too busy to really notice Hawks. Besides, he hadn't been told Not to get up. At least, not that he could remember. So he took the opportunity to look around and perhaps find some clues about Endeavor.
Hawks quickly realized that access to the former number one hero wasn't easy, even for one of the country's most famous heroes. They weren't willing to share information about Endeavor's condition either.
Hawks was frustrated. He couldn't possibly go back to his lonely room now. Instead, he'd get some coffee first. From a coffee machine as far away from his room as possible. Maybe he could also get some fresh air. So, off to the hospital's main entrance.
The journey was difficult and strenuous for his weakened body. The typical light blue hospital clothes scratched unpleasantly against his skin, and the matching shoes were a little too big, so he had to constantly be careful not to lose any of them.
He encountered many familiar faces. Students being lovingly embraced by their worried parents. Fellow heroes surrounded by their loved ones. Many of them were already able to laugh or fool around again in the presence of their favorite people. A first step toward healing.
Hawks greeted some of them briefly, but didn't want to linger with any of them for long so as not to disturb them.
Although he was happy for the others, an empty feeling arose within him.
Why were such emotions arising now?
No...actually, they had always been there. Well hidden behind a fake, always cheerful grin.
Hawks was far from an unhappy person, but in situations like this, he was constantly reminded of his loneliness.
All the Hero Commission cared about when it came to injuries, was getting the hero back on the road as quickly as possible.
They were only ever concerned about their own image.
Loneliness...that was the price of a life away from domestic violence at the hands of his parents and a life in which he could pursue his long-held dream - helping people in need.
Finally arriving at the coffee machine, Hawks pulled himself the coveted drink – a black coffee with sugar. A small change from the bland hospital food.
With a quiet sigh, he sat down on a bench near the main entrance and watched the hustle and bustle.
He really didn't want to deal with such negative thoughts at all. Hawks was an optimist. Someone who had escaped his family's hell and managed to achieve everything he ever wanted.
He took a sip of his coffee when he saw two people walking towards the exit. It was a small family: a father, mother, and a newborn baby. The parents seemed exhausted but happy. Hawks' eyes lit up at the sight. Despite this terrible war, this child had been born. Apparently healthy and happy.
The new parents recognized Hawks, of course, and greeted him enthusiastically, but somewhat shyly. Unaware of how the injured hero would react.
"Thank you for fighting so hard for us," the woman said quietly.
"Anytime," Hawks replied, friendly and confident.
The three left the hospital in a positive mood, and as he briefly watched them leave, the hero revisited his previous thought: He had achieved almost everything he had ever wanted.
He took another sip of his coffee and rested the back of his head against the wall with his eyes closed.
He didn't know how long he had been sitting there like that until...
"Hawks?" a sweet, familiar voice asked.
He opened his golden eyes and saw Rei and Fuyumi Todoroki in front of him. As if stung by a wasp, he jumped up.
"Oh! The ladies Todoroki!" he said, surprised. Given the pain he still felt, he sank back into his seat with a contorted face.
Both women made attempts to help him, but were too slow.
"We saw you sitting here, it looked like you fell asleep. Are you okay?" Fuyumi asked, and the blond was internally overwhelmed. Where did this worry come from? They barely knew him?
Outwardly, the hero smiled.
"Oh, just a little change of scenery now and then," he said. "The hospital room gets too boring in the long run."
He didn't miss the burns on the two women. Rei's face, in particular, was extensively affected. Fuyumi had gotten off lighter with two smaller scars on her face. Both wore their hair shorter than last time he saw them. Surely also a consequence of the burns. He knew that from experience.
He felt great pity for the whole family, but didn't let it show.
He stood up again – more slowly this time.
"I don't know the details, but I'm truly sorry for what happened to you," he said, bowing to the two of them. He didn't see Fuyumi's gaze briefly linger on his wings.
"Haven't they told you anything about Enji's condition?" Rei asked, surprised. Hawks shook his head, equally surprised.
"We were actually just about to go visit him. He woke up yesterday and asked about your condition too. We could only tell him what the doctors had already told us. Namely, that you're out of danger."
Hawks had a lump in his throat, but managed to continue speaking normally.
"To be honest, I wanted to visit him earlier too...the doctors wouldn't let me though. Only family members," he said, shrugging.
"That's right, I heard they're tightening up who's allowed to visit him, given the fact that he‘s still in such a bad condition," Fuyumi interjected. Even they, as the closest family members, weren't allowed to bring anyone along.
The conversation was finally interrupted by a panicked nurse who ran down the hallway, out of breath.
"Hawks! There you are! You desperately need bed rest. Please, come with me," she gasped.
"What? But I was resting on this bench. Doesn't that count?" the hero replied, feigning confusion. The stressed nurse just rolled her eyes.
"No, that doesn't count! Please come with me," she said emphatically again.
Hawks laughed wearily and turned back to the two Todoroki women.
"It was nice to meet you. May I ask that you pass on my wishes to Endeavor?" he asked, almost hopefully.
Rei smiled warmly, and Fuyumi also nodded.
"We're happy to do that. You fought so loyally by his side...it's a shame you haven't been able to visit him yourself yet."
At Fuyumi's words, a feeling of warmth spread through him. As a hero, he was used to being surrounded by fans and praised to the skies. But Fuyumi's words and Rei's warm, motherly smile were so honest and genuine.
For the first time since waking up in that hospital, he was able to genuinely smile back. After further prodding from the nurse, he finally said goodbye and followed the annoyed woman, amused.