Safe Haven

by temporaryeverything

Summary:

"It's not my blood," Neil said quickly before his coach decided to do something stupid like call an ambulance.
There was a lot of blood.
"Then who-"
"I need to get as far away from here as possible." Neil said.

 

Where Neil runs away from his father and ends up in the small beach town of Palmetto. He meets Andrew, gets a job, gets friends, and starts to let down his guard.
Loosely based on Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks.

Notes:

To sort a few things out before we begin:
- Exy exists in this AU but does not play a very big part in this fic.
- Palmetto is now a small town by the beach in SC.
- The Moriyamas are not a thing.
- Neil’s past is slightly different due to the Moriyamas not being a thing. You’ll see.
- Andrew is not on the court ordered drugs and has never been.
This is my first Foxhole AU, it was a bit of a challenge but I hope it turned out ok! Most of it is written out already so expect regular updates. Let me know your thoughts in the comments xx

Chapter 1: Neil

Neil Josten loved running. He always had, for as long as he could remember. Whether it was for exercise or to chase away demons or for a sports day in school, he ran and ran and never wanted to stop. His mother had once told him to slow down sometimes, remember to stop and take in his surroundings. She knew how running would make his mind go blank and how he would forget the way back home. Some days, running was all he had. 

He had never run for his life before today. 

He threw the door open with enough force he distantly heard it slam against the wall, but his feet were already halfway down the curved driveway. The worn duffel in his hand made moving awkward and it bounced against his hip with every stride. He ran down the road to the yellow house and knocked frantically on the door until it opened and he could slip inside. 

”Jesus Christ-” 

Hernandez was Neil’s exy coach at school. A widower without children and Neil knew the coach had always had a soft spot for him, which he now selfishly took advantage of. 

”It’s not my blood,” he said quickly before Hernandez decided to do something stupid like call an ambulance. 

There was a lot of blood.

”Then who-”

Neil ignored him and went in search for a bathroom, lost for a minute until Hernandez got his wits about him and showed him the way. 

”Turn around,” Neil ordered to the still stunned Hernandez who obeyed after a moment. With the coach’s back towards him Neil quickly stripped out of his soaked button-down and dress pants. It had been a formal dinner. Too fancy clothing for where the evening had ended up. Neil pushed the ruined clothes into the already full trash can and started scrubbing the blood off his hands and arms and torso. He refused to look in the mirror. Once semi-clean he dug into the duffel and pulled out a clean shirt and jeans, then a hoodie which he put to the side for now. Lastly he got the box of hair dye and ripped it open. 

”You can look now,” he said to Hernandez, who politely turned halfway and gave Neil a long, quiet look.

”What are you going to do?”

”I need to get as far away from here as possible,” Neil said while wetting his hair in the sink. ”I can’t stay.”

Hernandez was wise enough not to argue.

Several long minutes later Neil was on the road again, hoodie pulled up over his now dark curls and duffel slung over his back. He forced himself not to look over his shoulder as he walked. Walked, not ran, all the way to the bus terminal where he bought a ticket for the next bus out of there. He could feel eyes on him all the way to the bus. Even as he boarded he could swear someone was watching him, chasing him. Just as the bus rolled out of the station blue lights started flickering and for a moment Neil’s heart stopped. He was too slow. Too late. His fingers tightened on the duffel and he sank deeper into his seat, willing his lungs to stop cramping and his heart to stop racing. 

The police car passed. The bus kept going.

Neil felt one breath from fainting. 

 

The bus drove all night but Neil did not get any sleep. He watched the lights of passing cars and as morning neared he watched the sunrise through the bus windows. The first rest stop was Wilmington. Neil got off with the others to stretch his legs and buy a coffee. They got back on when the driver called for them and kept going for a bit, now stopping more frequently at every little small town. Neil watched people on the bus get off and not get back on. 

In the small beach town of Palmetto, the driver announced that next stop was end station Charleston. Neil could do one of two things; keep going to Charleston and get on the next bus to somewhere else, or get off in Palmetto and get some rest. He checked his watch, he had been awake for more than twenty four hours by now. 

Like a shadow he slipped off the bus without anyone noticing. 

Palmetto’s bus terminal was a slab of concrete and a single bench painted the most obscure shade of orange. Neil frowned at it and tore his eyes away to take in his surroundings. The road the bus came in on looked like it was the town’s main road. On one side residential houses spread out, on the other a little tourist shop, a pier, a restaurant and the marina. Beyond the masts of the sailboats, the ocean. 

Neil had never seen the ocean before. For a moment he stood, dumbstruck by the realization. He was a mess of sleep deprivation and nerves, and his feet carried him to the beach. This early in the morning it was deserted, but Neil still walked until he found a quiet corner underneath the pier. His feet carried him no further. He all but collapsed, clutching his duffel to his chest and curled into a ball, and in seconds he was asleep. 

Chapter 2: Andrew

”Kevin, for the last time, no we will NOT install a TV so you can watch exy at work!”

The voice shouted loud enough it pulled Andrew Minyard back to the present. The voice unmistakably belonged to Nicholas Hemmick, Andrew’s cousin, and was decidedly annoyed. It would have to go further than that for Andrew to consider getting involved. His cousin spent a lot of time shouting at Kevin and being annoyed with him. Kevin also happened to be a pain in the ass.

Andrew was doing…something. Not sure what. He had a habit of losing both time and focus and it was always disorienting to come back to himself. He checked the clock on the wall. Two hours till open time. At what time had he gotten to work? He had no idea.

Hoping no one had noticed his slacking, Andrew straightened up and tried to remember what he was doing. It was warm in the open bar, a trickle of sweat ran down his back and his arms were sticky underneath the black armbands he always wore. Aaron and Kevin were busy in the kitchen while Nicky was by the register, counting the change for today. One of Andrew’s hands was resting on an upturned chair. Right. He had mopped the floor and was now putting chairs back down from the table.

”Andrew, will you be back tonight to bartend?” Nicky called from the register, even though Andrew was always back to bartend and had been for the past two months of their high season. He did not bother with a reply. When Nicky repeated the question he flipped him off, which earned a familiar scoff.

Once he had finished helping set up the bar Andrew left for the little shop on the other side of the pier. While his cousin, brother and - whatever Kevin was to them - managed the bar, Andrew was in charge of the shop and gas station. They had a little of everything there, from coffee to paint to fishing gear to…well, if they didn’t have it, Andrew could order it and have it there in a few days. He was not sure why he was the one who got responsibility of the shop. Something to do with stabbing a fork into the hand of a customer at the bar. Andrew honestly could not care less. Someone overreacted at some point and for now he was only allowed back under strict observation with limited customer contact. There were plenty of customers coming to the shop, but apparently Nicky figured Andrew would not be exposed to them for long enough for it to become a problem.

Andrew could not even begin to pretend to care.

On the walk over to the shop he passed the entrance to the pier and saw two of the foxes wave at him from inside the fun park. The Foxhole Fun Park & Attractions. Andrew ignored them.

With the pier behind him and the shop in sight Andrew suddenly felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck. He stopped walking. Someone was behind him. Quickly he spun on his heel and saw…nothing. Strange. His instincts were jumpy but usually correct. He squinted his eyes at the base of the pier and saw some driftwood, or clothes, or trash. Something flared in his veins. Littering and throwing trash into the ocean only for it to wash up on random beaches was so unnecessary he did not have words for it. He was already a little late but he steered towards the pile of trash either way. Only when he got close did the pile take on a different shape. A very human shape.

Quickly Andrew backed off. The shape was small and mostly hidden underneath clothes and a baggy hoodie, and a bag against his chest. He was fast asleep as far as Andrew could tell, and he would not look closer. Give them some privacy. They did not get a lot of homeless people in a town this small and Andrew did not recognize the kid. Oh well. Best to let them be.

The day passed without any real incident apart from when the door jammed for the thousandth time and Andrew had to screw the lock apart to get it open. Fucking door. He had tried to have it fixed several times without result. Maybe it was time to invest in a new door.

The last customer left at five past five and Andrew was already late for the bar when he locked the door and headed out. The Foxhole was all bright lights and children’s laughter. Andrew rolled his eyes at the monstrosity. Just as he reached the pier he noticed the pile of trash in human shape was still there. A chill went down Andrew’s arms and he rubbed them. What if-?

No. First things first. Andrew swallowed hard and approached the kid. When he got closer he realized the kid must be around his own age. From underneath the hoodie dark curls peeked out, a straight nose and full lips. Full lips that parted on an exhale. This close Andrew could almost hear him breathe, at least the slight snore at the start of every breath. He wondered if he should keep to his earlier assessment and leave the man alone, but if Andrew was right he had been lying there in the same spot for seven hours. Shaded from the sun but not the blistering heat. And so out of it he had not woken up from the sounds of the Foxhole.

”Hey,” Andrew called before he could come up with an excuse not to.

No response.

Andrew looked around, found a piece of driftwood which he used to poke the man’s foot. The reaction was immediate, the man jerked awake and quickly tugged his foot closer to his body.

”Oh look, it’s alive,” Andrew said, cursing himself for caring. He should just leave him here to die. Not his problem.

”What time is it?” the man croaked and pulled back his hoodie to reveal a chiseled face with sharp cheekbones and deep, dark circles underneath his eyes despite sleeping all day.

”Five pm.”

The man groaned, the sound hitting Andrew like a punch to the gut. ”Fuck.” He sat up. Still clutching the bag. He gave Andrew a long look from head to toe and Andrew’s skin crawled at being scanned so bluntly.

”If you keep looking at me like that you will have bigger problems than sleeping underneath a pier,” Andrew warned, and the man smirked but averted his eyes to the small waves lapping at the beach.

”Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” the man asked, a not so subtle fuck-off-and-leave-me-alone. Something crawled under Andrew’s skin again for reasons he could not pinpoint. Something in the way the man watched the ocean, in the way his knuckles were white around the duffel bag, in the way his hair curled around his temples. Andrew grit his teeth. He had enough problems without taking on a stray. One that did not seem too keen on being rescued at that. He was late for the bar and although he pretended not to care he didn’t want to let his family down when they needed him.

The man’s eyes flickered to him again. ”Now who’s staring?”

”Come on,” Andrew said, and motioned at him to get up.

”No thanks, I’d rather live.”

”Unless you have food and several water bottles in that bag you’re clutching to yourself you must be dehydrated and hungry. I work at a bar. Our entire purpose is rehydration and food.”

”Actually, alcohol causes dehydration so I’m probably better off drinking seawater.”

Something in Andrew snapped. He hoped it wasn’t one of his molars. The man saw his expression and grinned, then slowly started to untangle his limbs and stand up. He was only an inch or two taller than Andrew.

”I should drown you in the ocean.”

The grin never faltered. ”Food first? I’m starving.”

Without another word Andrew turned and started walking towards the bar, a little pleased to hear footsteps following him. He stayed half a step behind for which Andrew was grateful, if he had to look at his stupid face he might break his teeth for real. The man was dirty, smelled, had ratty clothes and an attitude problem. He made Andrew’s blood sing.

Once they reached the bar Andrew silently took the man inside through the staff entrance. They passed the kitchen where Aaron and Kevin were too busy working to notice them, then through a set of swinging doors into the already buzzing bar. Andrew could have sworn his companion came just a little closer when faced with the crowded bar. It was an open space, the storm shutters were all wide open which made it feel like they were outside. A cool evening breeze was a blessing on Andrew’s warm skin. He passed Nicky without a word and pointed at a chair behind the counter.

”Sit.”

The man gave him an amused look but sat down.

”Andrew, where have you been? I needed you half an- hold on who is this?” Nicky said all in one breath. He peeked behind Andrew at the stranger.

To Andrew’s surprise, the man replied. ”Neil.”

Neil.

”Hello Neil, I’m Nicky, Andrew’s cousin. Usually our customers sit on the other side of the counter but I’ll let this one slide because your face is the cutest I’ve seen all week. How are you? Want a beer?”

Andrew saw the alarm on Neil’s face and grabbed Nicky by the shoulder to turn him away. ”Leave him alone,” he said in a low voice and pushed at Nicky until he was back by the register where two women were waiting for him with wide, drunken smiles.

Andrew turned back to Neil. ”Nicky is harmless. Stay there.”

He did not wait for a reply but pushed the doors open to the kitchen where Kevin instantly cursed at him for being late.

”Any returns?” Andrew asked, and Aaron pushed a plate towards him.

”Some dude who thought a BLT was a hamburger. Nicky needs your help out there.”

Andrew grabbed the plate without a reply and pushed his way back to the bar. The doors swung behind him. He slid behind Nicky who was still chatting to the two drunk women and-

”Where the fuck did he go?” Andrew snapped at Nicky. Neil was not where Andrew had left him. He had only been gone for a minute. He had thought he would be hungry enough not to run away, but maybe he had been wrong.

Before Andrew could yell at his cousin some more, Nicky turned to him with hands raised. He aimed at Andrew’s shoulder but Andrew neatly stepped out of his reach with a warning glare.

”Don’t,” he hissed.

For once, Nicky seemed to understand. He pulled his hands back to himself as if he’d been burned. ”He asked for the bathroom.” He gestured at the door and Andrew saw the little red symbol meaning it was occupied. He snorted unhappily but put the sandwich on the chair along with a bottle of water and joined Nicky behind the bar to help serve drinks. Beer, wine, cocktails, shots, Nicky took the orders and Andrew worked with quiet efficiency. He saw Neil exit the bathroom and return to his designated spot behind the counter.

”That was quick,” Neil said and sat down with the plate balanced on his knees. The strap of the duffel was wound around one foot.

”Leftovers,” Andrew explained. ”Don’t think I’d give you a fresh meal for free.” He poured two beers and put them on the counter without spilling a single drop. The man who took them instantly spilled half down the front of his shirt.

”I have money,” Neil muttered. Andrew glanced at him.

”Uh-huh.”

”I’m not looking for charity.”

”Don’t care. Eat your fucking sandwich.”

Neil went silent. Out of the corner of his eye Andrew saw him take a first bite, then he pretty much inhaled the food. He gulped water down between bites and soon both plate and bottle were empty. Andrew kept working and left him alone. When there was no longer a line behind the register Nicky scurried off to clear tables while Andrew wiped the counter down and restocked glasses and the fridges. Neil looked near comatose where he sat but he followed Andrew’s every move.

”I should leave,” he said when Andrew came close to check the fridge next to him.

”You don’t have to,” Andrew said. He meant it. Some of the tightness around Neil’s eyes relaxed.

Andrew left to pick up lemons from the kitchen, and when he returned Neil was gone. A $20 bill  was tucked underneath his plate. Andrew put the bill in his pocket.

Chapter 3: Neil

Notes:

Enter more foxes! I was not entirely sure how to fit them all into this thing so…not sure what we ended up with. But I feel like they have to be in Neil’s life.

 

Also: Andrew is a little softer in this than I am used to. I hope he turned out ok because writing Andrew is one of my favorite things

Neil returned to his spot underneath the pier to sleep, but he was kept awake from the sounds of the amusement park above until well after the sun had set. He had snatched two water bottles from the bar before he left and had already emptied both. Maybe Andrew was right and he was a little dehydrated. His muscles ached from sleeping on the hard sand and every time he closed his eyes he saw a cleaver swinging at his head. When he finally fell asleep it was more like passing out from exhaustion.

The next morning the sun was already baking the beach and it quickly grew unbearably hot. Neil stuffed his hoodie into the duffel and longed for a run, but he could not take one with the bag without looking like a crazy person and he had nowhere to leave it. Instead he walked past the bar to the marina where he watched the sailboats for a bit. He had never been on a boat. They were sleek and bright white and rocked gently in the water. Neil kept walking. He followed a path just above the beach until he reached the end of town, then went inland to cut through the residential area with neat gardens and large trees providing some cover from the sun. This close to the beach the houses were large and expensive cars sat on the driveways, but as Neil wound his way further into the town he reached some smaller bungalows. It was not a big town, soon he was at the pier again. The fact that there was no train station and no major bus stop was a little unsettling, because Neil had no easy way out of there. On the other hand, the place was barely large enough to find on a map. He should be safe here. At least for a few days. And if not, he could always hot-wire a car.

The bar and the tourist shop were the only stores Neil had seen and his stomach cramped angrily, reminding him he needed to eat. The shop was dark and empty so Neil aimed for the bar, which on one hand had a large ”closed” sign outside but he heard both music and voices from inside.

The soles of Neil’s shoes stuck to the floor as he crossed between tables towards the counter. Through the doors to the kitchen he heard arguing and raised voices, and suddenly Andrew but not Andrew burst through the doors that swung angrily back into place behind him.

”We’re closed, can’t you read?” Not-Andrew snapped.

”I must have missed it,” Neil said even though the sign had been at least four foot long and impossible to miss.

”Get the fuck out of here,” Not-Andrew said and came around the counter as if he could physically make Neil leave. Just as Neil inhaled to inform Not-Andrew he must have gotten something up his rear, the real Andrew stepped through the doors. Neil saw him freeze for a split second before his expression was back to neutral.

”Oh, look who’s come crawling back,” Andrew said with a little venom. Neil probably deserved it. He hadn’t even stuck around long enough to thank Andrew for the meal last night.

”You know him?” Not-Andrew said.

”No,” Neil said at the same time as Andrew said, ”Yes.”

They glared at each other.

”Fuck off, Aaron,” Andrew said, and Not-Andrew left huffing and puffing.

”Twin?” Neil asked.

”No, we met at an audition for Legally Blonde.”

Neil blinked.

”What the fuck do you think?” Andrew said.

”Someone’s in a brilliant mood today.”

”What are you doing here, Neil-oh-Neil? We’re closed. I’m sure you can read.”

Neil twisted his fingers tight around the duffel strap and forced himself to speak. ”Do you have any food? I’ll pay, of course,” he hurried to add.

Something twitched on Andrew’s face but Neil never got to find out what, because in the next moment the doors swung open for Nicky. He took one look at Neil and his face broke into a wide smile Neil did not feel worthy of.

”Neil! Welcome back! We wondered where you ran off to last night, did you sleep well? Come on, sit down, I’ll get you some breakfast.”

Nicky ushered Neil into a chair by the bar and disappeared into the kitchen again.

”Your cousin is very friendly. Are you sure you’re related?” Nicky was also at least a foot taller than Andrew and where Andrew was fair-skinned and blond, Nicky was dark-haired and brown.

Andrew rolled his eyes and repeated his earlier question. ”What are you doing here? I thought you would have run off by now.”

”I was hungry.”

”Clearly.”

”I think I need a job.”

Nicky returned with coffee, a bagel and two slices of watermelon which he put in front of Neil. ”You need a job?” he chimed in. ”We’re not really looking to hire but you’re welcome to work some hours bussing tables and doing the dishes.”

”Nicky,” Andrew said, effectively making his cousin shut up. Neil watched them curiously, Nicky was clearly older and appeared to be in charge of the place, but he listened to Andrew. Was even, perhaps, a little afraid of him. Interesting.

”Don’t want someone like me around?” Neil mused and sipped the coffee. Andrew leaned his elbows on the bar and held Neil’s gaze.

”I think you’ll be more trouble than you’re worth. No. Find another job.”

It stung a little, but Neil happened to agree with him. He was trouble. But even though Andrew literally found him sleeping underneath a pier, he had hoped he was not so transparent.

”But Andrew-” Nicky tried, putting a hand on Andrew’s shoulder which Andrew slapped away.

”No.”

”It’s fine, Nicky,” Neil said. Andrew did not frighten him, but he was not going to push against a no. Andrew had his reasons. Neil was not desperate enough to betray the first person who had showed him kindness in a long, long time.

Nicky clapped his hands together hard enough it made Neil flinch. ”Hey, you can ask Wymack! He always complains about needing more people, I’m sure he’s got something for you. Want me to call him? I’ll call him.”

Neil hid a smile behind his bagel at Andrew’s murderous expression and ate in silence as Nicky kept talking. The call connected and Neil felt a little sorry for whoever was on the other end. Somehow Nicky was successful and had set up a meeting with this Wymack at noon. He was not sure what to do until then, but he finished his breakfast, tried and failed to pay Nicky for it, and promised to be back so Nicky could take him to see Wymack.

Neil stepped out into the sun. Sweat instantly made his skin sticky and uncomfortable and he wondered if he should just go back to his spot underneath the pier until noon. At least there he would be in the shade.

”You are a walking tragedy,” a voice said from behind and Neil watched as Andrew came up on his side. He wore a t-shirt but his forearms were covered by black armbands. Neil could see his muscles flex underneath the thin fabric and fleetingly he wondered what they were for.

”Has anyone ever told you you have great people skills?”

”Why are you here, Neil? This is the third time I ask you the same question, I will not ask it again.”

Neil met his eyes and understood this was a test. Andrew would not let him near his family, had seen enough to know trouble was snapping at Neil’s heels, but was still willing to let him stay in his town. In return, Neil would have to give him something. Some reason, some explanation so Andrew would know he was not making a mistake.

Neil saw the ocean reflected in Andrew’s hazel eyes and allowed himself a deep breath of clean air.

”This felt like a safe place,” he said at last.

”Palmetto is a hellhole,” was Andrew’s reply.

”Then why are you still here?”

Andrew broke the eye contact and it felt a little like winning.

”If my family is hurt because of you I will kill you.”

”Noted.”

”If you are hungry there’s always leftovers in the kitchen. Don’t be an idiot.”

With that, Andrew dug into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled $20 bill. He pushed it into Neil’s hand and walked off without another word.

”Thank you, Andrew,” Neil called after him, and smiled as Andrew flipped him off without turning around.

Neil was back at the bar at 12. His fingertips were a little numb, lingering anxiety from leaving his duffel behind underneath the pier. He had buried it in the sand far up so the tide wouldn’t take it, and hoped no animal or human would find it. No matter how anxious he was at leaving it behind, he couldn’t keep carrying it around.

With no Andrew in sight at the bar he decided to antagonize Not-Andrew - Aaron - instead. Aaron was easy enough to rile, he only had to spot Neil to get red in the face.

”No. Get out of here.”

”Hello, Aaron.”

”I don’t like that you know my name.”

”Then change it.”

Aaron bit his teeth together and was saved by the arrival of Nicky, who pushed his cousin to the side and greeted Neil like days and not hours had passed since they last saw each other.

”Neil! So glad you made it. Come on, I’m sure Wymack is waiting for us already.”

They left the fuming Aaron behind and Neil couldn’t help but notice the quite crowded bar which Nicky was now abandoning.

”Uh, I don’t mean to be an inconvenience. If you need to work.”

Nicky laughed. ”I’m only introducing you two, then you’re on your own, kid. Come on.”

Neil was thinking maybe Wymack was at one of the tables in the back, but Nicky kept walking and Neil hurried to follow him. He stayed silent all the way to the pier, but hesitated when Nicky jumped the locked gate.

”For someone who looks like he slept under a bridge you look quite alarmed at some harmless breaking and entering,” Nicky said. Neil didn’t bother telling him how close to the truth he was but simply copied him and jumped over the gate.

”So, Neil, how did you end up in our little town? No one new ever comes here.”

”Well…” Neil started, but drifted off when he realized he had not come up with a lie yet. Nicky didn’t falter for a second.

”Are you single? You’re very cute, just saying. I’m not. Single. My boyfriend lives in Germany but while we’re apart we have an open relationship and-”

”Christ, Hemmick, do you ever stop talking?” a gruff voice belonging to a gruff-looking man said. Neil instinctively stepped behind Nicky as the man came closer, although he was not sure Nicky would be any good for protection.

”What’s up Wymack?”

The man stopped a few steps away and scratched the side of his head underneath a worn cap.

”I assume this is Neil?”

”Yes!” Nicky exclaimed, pushing Neil in front of him. ”Neil. Wymack. Wymack, Neil. I’m sure you’ll get along splendidly. Great, I’m off, see you later.”

Neil looked back at Nicky’s retreating form with some wistfulness. He was not at all keen on being alone with this man. He looked to be in his late forties, with dark hair, eyes squinting against the sun and tanned, strong forearms covered in large tattoos. Neil had to fight the urge to take another step back.

Wymack sized him up and gestured at the chaos of attractions and booths behind him.

”Been here before?”

Neil shook his head.

”Ever had a job before?”

”I’ll learn.”

Wymack scoffed unhappily. ”I’m sure you will. I’ll set you up with Matt and he’ll show you the ropes. Come on.”

Without waiting Wymack headed for one of the booths and Neil hurried to follow him, still keeping a respectable distance.

”Hang on, that’s it? I got the job?”

”Don’t tell me you changed your mind.”

”No, I just-”

Neil paused. He was not sure what to say. When he told Andrew he needed a job it had been a bit of a joke, he had not expected to be offered one just hours later. He needed the money, sure, but this felt too close to a commitment for Neil’s liking. It would be more difficult to leave a town where he had a job.

”Well I’m not exactly drowning in applications, kid, and Nicky said you were good people. He failed to mention how y’all know each other, though.”

Neil ignored the question and hoped Wymack wouldn’t push it.

He didn’t.

In a booth decorated to look like an old cowboy saloon a tall black guy was tossing stuffed horses and cacti up on a shelf.

”What’s up, Wymack,” he said. ”This him?”

”Neil, I leave you in Matt’s capable hands. Come see me before you leave to sort out your paperwork.”

”Hey, man, I’m Matt.” He offered a wide smile and stuck his hand out. Neil took it and saw Wymack walk off. He felt like he was a problem being bumped from person to person, Andrew handing him to Nicky, handing him to Wymack, handing him to Matt.

Matt at least looked pleased to see him. He said, ”Wymack asked me to show you around, you can stay as long as you want today. If you want the job it starts tomorrow at 12. Sound good?”

”Yep.”

”Cool. So, how do you know Nicky?”

Neil was not sure how to answer, so he shrugged. ”I don’t really know him.”

”Oh,” Matt said. ”Good. Or, I mean- Nicky’s cool. He’s fine. But I don’t know if you met the twins?”

Neil was not sure he liked where this was going.

”You have,” Matt said and sighed. ”Be careful, Neil. I know you don’t know me, but trust me. Stay away from Andrew.”

”Thanks for the warning,” Neil said dryly. He had no intention of staying away from Andrew, but he didn’t feel like arguing with Matt within two minutes of meeting him. Matt nodded and dropped the subject.

Compared to the others Neil had met so far in Palmetto, Matt was a very uncomplicated person. He didn’t ask any invasive questions, he had an easy smile and a calm air about him. Neil quickly felt comfortable with him. He was introduced to the other workers, foxes, Matt called them: three girls and Neil forgot who was who but they welcomed him warmly. The Foxhole fun park was a maze but wherever they went Neil could always see the ocean and it felt like a way out.

Neil stayed by Matt’s side until closing time. Wymack found all of them around the popcorn machine eating leftover popcorn and drinking sodas once the park had closed. Neil should have left long ago, but he had nowhere to go and the foxes were all hugs and laughs and when Dan (Neil tried to learn the names) threw a popcorn at Matt’s face and he caught it even Neil joined the cheering.

”Want to stick around, Neil?” Wymack asked, waving a piece of paper.

”Definitely!” Allison exclaimed, throwing her arms around Neil’s neck. ”We’re keeping him.”

”Thank you, Mr. Wymack,” Neil said, and everyone took a collective sharp inhale.

”Neil, no,” Dan said on a laugh.

”Yeah, man, Wymack’s like Beyoncé, or Prince.”

”Who?”

The foxes all laughed, even more when Neil couldn’t hide his confusion.

”Just ’Wymack’ is fine,” Wymack said.

”Yes, sir,” Neil said just because of how it made both Matt and Allison groan loudly.

Neil accepted the contract, and signed Neil Josten on the dotted line. He looked at the signature for a long time before he returned the paper to Wymack, spurred on by the foxes’ cheers.

Chapter 4: Andrew

Four days passed and Andrew was sure Neil had left. Andrew didn’t exactly have a lot of time to think about him but he did anyways, Neil was pretty much all he could think about. Just as he had come to the conclusion that Neil was gone forever, he walked into the shop one day as if it was the most natural thing in the world. When he spotted Andrew he raised two fingers in a salute. Andrew tried to calm his racing heart.

”So you’re still here,” Andrew said flatly as Neil approached him.

”I got a job.”

”At the Foxhole, my cousin said.”

Neil nodded. He looked a little thinner than when Andrew last saw him, and even though he should not care something inside Andrew wondered if Neil was getting enough to eat.

”I’m not working today.”

”Good for you.”

Neil grinned. It looked damn good on him. Andrew bit the inside of his lip.

”Wymack got me a cabin to rent. It’s a dump, but it’s mine. I was thinking I should paint the floors.”

For the first time in his life, Andrew found himself speechless.

”Do you have any paint?” Neil asked.

Working on autopilot Andrew opened a drawer and pulled out the sample colors he had. Neil spread them out on the counter and tilted his head while he flipped through the colors.

Andrew had been silent for way too long. Come on. He had to say something smart. He cleared his throat. ”Why paint the floors?”

Great job, Minyard.

”I don’t know,” Neil said with a shrug. ”Why not? I was thinking it would brighten up the place.”

He held up a sample in the most ridiculous color Andrew had ever seen.

”You are a hazard.”

”So I’ve heard. How much do you think I’ll need?”

Andrew cleared his throat again and searched his mind for the coverage of the color. ”One bucket should last you about 200 square feet. How big is the room?”

”Not very big. It should be enough for the kitchen, I think I’ll start there.”

”Alright. One bucket of FF5C00. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

”Thank you, Andrew.”

”It’ll be here in a few days. If you give me your number I can send you a text so you know when to pick it up.”

Something crossed Neil’s eyes, gone as quickly as it came, but Andrew saw it. He added it to the growing list of odd things about Neil.

”Don’t worry, I’ll just stop by in a few days.”

”That’s not at all a normal reaction to someone asking for your number,” Andrew said, and some of the tension left Neil’s shoulders. He still looked confused, though. Andrew really should keep this boy at arm’s length, he trusted his instincts and his instincts were a big red flashing light above Neil’s head. Danger. Andrew could not put his finger on it. However, Andrew had never been known for making wise decisions, and as long as he kept Neil well away from his family there was really no harm in getting to know him better.

”I have a boat,” Andrew said suddenly. Neil frowned.

”Okay.”

”Want to go for a ride?”

Neil leaned his elbows on the counter and smiled in a way that made Andrew think Neil had absolutely no idea of the effect he had on Andrew.

”Now? You’re working.”

”Shop closes at five.”

”Alright,” Neil said and tilted his hips to the right. Andrew dug his nails into his palms hard enough he thought the skin might break.

”I’ll see you then,” Neil said.

”Meet you at the bar,” Andrew said. The door jammed for Neil but he got it open at the third try, and on his way out he turned to give Andrew a salute.

He was taking Neil out on the boat.

What the hell was he doing?

Andrew closed the shop early at four thirty, changed into swim trunks, a t-shirt and armbands and almost ran to the bar. He wanted enough time to pack something to eat and drink, and scoured the kitchen while Aaron and Kevin yelled at each other and then at him. Andrew grabbed some sandwiches and an apple, then went in search for something a little sweeter. Kevin found him with his head in the fridge loading chocolate chip cookies into a cooler already filled to the brim with the food and beers.

”Hot date?” Kevin asked with heavy sarcasm. Andrew didn’t date. They both knew it. It was unlike Kevin to put his nose in Andrew’s business, and Andrew slowly straightened up and gave Kevin his best glare, pleased when it made him cower just a little.

”Nicky thought you’d be working tonight.”

”Nope,” Andrew replied, making sure to pop the ’p’.

”What are you doing?”

”Taking the boat.”

”The boat?” Kevin frowned. ”There’s rain coming in.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and slammed the fridge door. ”Kevin, one day you’ll learn about the little thing called a forecast. Maybe it is too complicated for your little brain.”

Kevin gripped his left hand with his right. ”My hand always aches before a storm. I swear.”

”It’s not going to rain. Go back to peeling potatoes, or whatever it is you do.” As he turned to leave, Kevin made the mistake of grabbing his arm. In a heartbeat Andrew dropped the cooler, twisted his way out of Kevin’s grip and slammed him into the wall.

”For fuck’s sake-” Kevin sneered.

”Andrew, let him go.” Andrew looked up into his brother’s eyes. Aaron had a peeling knife in one hand and a potato in the other, so the knife was probably not for Andrew. Either way it set his teeth on edge. He felt the outline of his own knives underneath the armbands and fought the instinct to pull one out. It was his brother. Aaron was not a threat to him.

Without a word Andrew let go of Kevin and took the staff entrance to avoid his cousin. His skin was flushed and itchy and it took breathing in a fucking square to get rid of the feeling. In moments like this he really hated his therapist. He looked up at the blue sky. No way it was going to rain. Sometimes Kevin was too superstitious for his own and everyone else’s good.

Neil arrived with his torn jeans and t-shirt despite it definitely being shorts weather and he took the paper bag with food while Andrew carried the cooler. Their boat was only a two minute walk from the bar. Andrew took the lead up the dock and jumped on the boat, then turned to find Neil’s face split open in shock.

”What?”

”This is your boat? How is this your boat?”

It was a nice boat, Andrew could admit. It had no sails but twin engines and a cabin with four bunk beds. Crisp white and polished wood.

They had named it The Little Monster .

”LIfe insurance money from mommy dearest. Get on.”

Neil did not comment on the origin of the money. He took the long step to board the boat and Andrew watched, amused, as he did not let go of the railing.

”This is so weird,” Neil muttered and slowly crept forwards after Andrew. Andrew started the engine and the familiar vibrations went up the soles of his feet into his legs. He had checked the gas level, the radio and the gps by the time Neil reached him. One hand was still on the railing.

”Sit down. Grab a life jacket if you want. If not, it’s not my responsibility if you drown.”

”This is a very nice boat,” Neil said and started searching for what Andrew hoped was a lifejacket. He pulled the ropes in and perched behind the wheel, checked to make sure Neil was sitting down and let the engine take them out of the marina. The humming sound went straight into his bones. He revved the engine a little and pushed back against a smile. Neil had the lifejacket on and the instant they were in the clear Andrew pushed the throttle as far as it would go, and they were flying. The last of the discomfort under Andrew’s skin disappeared. The ocean was calm and still and sprays of saltwater hit Andrew’s face. He spared the occasional glance in Neil’s direction, knuckles tight around the bench he was sitting on and eyes closed against the wind.

He was devastatingly beautiful.

Andrew dragged his mind back to himself and steered the boat further out, to the shallower parts where him, Aaron, Nicky and Kevin would swim and fish and sometimes cook the fish right there on the boat. It was a few minutes out but leaving Palmetto behind always felt like a blessing.

The next time Andrew dared to look at Neil his eyes were open and he pointed at the monstrosity of a hotel up the coast.

”What’s that?”

”Holiday Inn. That’s where most of our customers come from.”

”Necessary evil,” Neil said, like he understood.

At the shallows Andrew killed the engines. The silence was jarring but welcome, out here the only noise was the quiet clucking of water against the boat and the occasional cry from a seagull.

”You can take off the lifejacket if you want. We’ll hang out here for a bit.”

Andrew watched Neil struggle with himself for a moment, long fingers fiddling with the straps but not doing anything to undo them.

”Water’s not that deep here,” Andrew offered.

”I can’t swim,” Neil blurted out, the tips of his ears flushing red. Andrew tugged the cooler open and pulled out two beers.

”Daddy never taught you how?”

Neil’s snort contained a lot more than Andrew could decipher. ”Something like that,” he said, but crawled out of the lifejacket and accepted the beer. Andrew only sipped his twice before the heat became too much on his skin. He tugged his t-shirt and armbands off, winked at Neil and dove off the side of the boat. The cool water cleared his mind and dispelled the heat from his body. He swam deeper and deeper to escape the growing feeling of something that Neil was dragging out of him without consideration. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Last time it nearly killed him.

Eventually he gave up and let his buoyant body float up. Neil had propped his chin on the railing and watched him surface with a mix of worry and amusement.

”Not that deep, huh?”

Andrew wiped the salt water from his eyes. ”Kevin once made us scuba dive 60 feet. I have not allowed his need to excel at everything include me after that.”

”Kevin sounds like an ass.”

Andrew blew a burst of bubbles to smother a laugh. ”I think you two would get along.”

”So, what is he to you? Distant relative?”

”A barnacle I have not been able to cut off.”

Neil didn’t bother trying to hide his laugh, he let it fall over the edge of the boat and hit Andrew’s ears in the most tantalizing way. Andrew swam closer to the boat until he was right underneath Neil. The railing was too high for him to reach, but he could always flick water into Neil’s eyes.

Andrew swam around the boat to the back where he could climb back up, and made a beeline for his beer. He didn’t bother toweling off, but perched on the back of the boat where he could dip his feet into the water and watch the horizon.

After a minute, Neil joined him. He folded his legs underneath him.

”That’s a lot of clothes for a sunny day,” Andrew commented. He wasn’t going to force Neil to strip, but he was curious. A lot of things about Neil made him curious. He was danger but also a maze of lies and hidden truths. Andrew felt both the sun and Neil’s eyes on the scars on his forearms, he clenched his beer a little tighter but was relieved when Neil said nothing. Not even a hitch in his breathing.

After a minute in the sun Neil relented and stripped his jeans off, revealing long, toned legs. Andrew shifted his hips and hastily looked away.

Fuck.

His fingers itched for something, so he leaned back and dug through a side compartment on the boat until he found the familiar outline of a pack of cigarettes. He was not the chainsmoker he had once been but he moved on instinct, putting a cigarette between his lips and clicking the lighter.

He tilted the pack towards Neil while keeping his eyes firmly locked on a seagull some thirty feet out. He almost didn’t notice how Neil’s swift fingers took both lighter and a cigarette.

Andrew listened as Neil inhaled smoke without coughing.

Suddenly Neil said, ”Your cousin is afraid of you.”

Andrew was not sure he wanted to know where this was going but he decided to play along. ”Yes.”

”And the foxes told me to stay away.”

”I’m shocked.”

”Why?”

Andrew shrugged and took a long drag of his cigarette. ”I stabbed a guy with a fork.”

”At the restaurant? Why?”

Andrew froze. No one had ever asked why before.

”He put his hand where it didn’t belong. I warned him not to.”

”Ok.”

Andrew grit his teeth and made himself look at Neil. Their eyes met, Neil’s calm and open and he leaned his chin on his hand. The same hand that was also holding the cigarette. Andrew watched the smoke rise.

”I wouldn’t have given you one if I’d known you were going to waste it.”

”I just like the smell.”

Andrew’s eyes betrayed him; he glanced at Neil’s legs. Mistake.

”Tell me something real,” Andrew said, surprising them both, maybe needing a distraction.

”Alright,” Neil said, wary. ”What do you want to know.”

What did he want to know? He had a million questions. A million theories. He needed to know if there was a hidden agenda here, if Neil was as innocent as he wanted everyone to think or if there was something very dangerous he was hiding. People didn’t just suddenly show up in small towns like Palmetto without reason.

”Your eyes,” Andrew settled on. He saw the sudden stiffness in Neil’s shoulders, the panic etched on his face. ”You’re wearing contacts.”

Neil swallowed hard. For a moment Andrew thought he would be fed another lie, then Neil touched the pad of a finger on his iris and carefully pushed the contact to the side.

Ice blue screamed at Andrew from underneath the brown. His heart beat painfully in his chest.

Neil let go and blinked the contact back into place.

”I can’t believe you noticed,” he muttered.

”You shouldn’t cover them up. Brown doesn’t suit you.”

For once, Neil did not have a sharp response on his tongue.

They kept to lighter conversation after that, drank some more beers, ate some food and Andrew went in the water again. All through it he held this newfound fact about Neil close to his chest, guarded it almost reverently.

Neil.

Strong legs.

Blue eyes.

Yeah. Andrew was screwed.

In the distance dark clouds rolled in. Kevin’s fucking hand was always right.

Notes:

Andrew’s mind going blank whenever he sees Neil’s legs ✅

Chapter 5: Neil

At the first stroke of his newly bought paint roller Neil felt something like pure joy beat in his chest. He had never done anything like this before, had never had a place of his own he could paint whatever color he wanted. So what if most people wanted their floors a plain boring color.

Neil wanted his floors orange.

He made a mess of it, getting paint splashes on the walls and the fridge and himself, it turned out a little splotchy and uneven but Neil loved it. It was his. His decision. If someone saw this floor they would know that Neil Josten had made an imprint on the world. Neil Josten existed.

He’d had a rough couple of nights. The cabin was remote, far off into the woods and a ten minute walk from his nearest neighbor, which happened to be Wymack. Neil felt safe in the cabin. No one would find him there. No one would even know where to begin to look for him.

And still he woke drenched in sweat and saw shapes in the shadows around him. The third time he woke he went to the kitchen, turned the lights on and lied down on his orange floor. It made breathing a little easier.

The dreams were familiar territory, but Neil had never learned to navigate them. His father’s right hand Lola, with a blood red mouth that tore pieces of flesh from his body. His mother, burning.

His father. Those were the worst. Neil’s mother had tried to get him out of a torturous home, had ran and hid and hoped to survive, but in the end his father caught up with them. His mother was buried in flames. Neil was buried in Nathan Wesninski’s basement.

On his kitchen floor Neil ran icy fingers over his abdomen and the scars there. Watching his mother die had been a turning point, a moment when he realized he would face the same end. He had been close, many times. A knife that went just a little too deep. A chokehold that lasted just a little too long. Eventually running became his only option, so he ran. Stabbed a knife into Lola’s leg and slashed his father across the chest, and ran.

Neil gripped the ruined skin on his stomach and squeezed tight, tight.

He had an orange kitchen floor.

He wondered what Andrew would think of his floor. Neil snorted a laugh. Andrew would probably give the floor one look and walk away without a word.

Neil had no idea what time it was but it was the kind of dark it only is between midnight and sunrise. He put on his hoodie to get another layer of clothes over his scars, tied his shoelaces and ran as soon as the door was locked behind him. Running helped. If he was running, he was moving away from his thoughts. Stand still long enough and they always caught up with him. His feet on tarmac were loud in the quiet night, his breaths sharp.

Inhale, exhale.

Warm blood on his skin.

Inhale, exhale.

The burn of a new scar.

Inhale, exhale.

A cleaver resting on his neck.

Neil went the long way around town and slowed to a walk as the restaurant, the pier and Andrew’s shop came into view. He was in no condition to go back home, but maybe he should turn around and run laps in the outskirts of town instead of in it. Running around small towns in the middle of the night usually drew unwanted attention.

Just as he turned someone whistled at him. Confused, Neil looked around but saw nothing in the darkness.

”Ow.” Something hit his shoulder from above. He looked up to see the embers of a lit cigarette and the vague outline of a person sitting on the edge of the roof.

”Andrew?” Neil guessed. The person did a salute and pointed to their left. Neil looked that way and saw a fire escape twist up the side of the building.

He scaled the metal stairs and carefully made his way to where Andrew was sitting. It was definitely Andrew, Neil recognized the line of his shoulders and his blond hair was bright even in the near darkness. Neil sat down at a respectable distance.

”Can I bum one?” Neil asked. A few seconds later he received a lit cigarette from Andrew. He took a deep drag. Nostalgia and nausea hit him hard at the taste but he ignored it.

Andrew was quiet. He smoked like it was his mission to empty the entire pack as quickly as possible, while Neil let his cigarette hang limp between his fingers only to watch the smoke fade into the night.

Two cigarettes later Andrew finally spoke. ”I’m starting to think you only take the cigarettes to look cool. You don’t even smoke, do you?”

In reply Neil locked eyes with Andrew and took one long drag of his cigarette, held it in his mouth for five seconds then gently blew the smoke at Andrew’s face. He thought he could see something twitch in Andrew’s eyes but it was difficult to make out in the darkness.

”It’s late,” Neil said stupidly. He felt his cheeks flush red. His cigarette had burned down to the filter so he put it out on the roof.

”Then go home,” Andrew said shortly.

”Do you want to be alone?”

Andrew lit another cigarette and handed it to Neil in reply, so Neil took that as a no.

They sat there in silence until the sky turned a different color, a little less pitch black and a little more blue. Sweat from Neil’s run had dried uncomfortably on his already uncomfortable skin but he would not manage a shower right now. His nerves were still too raw. His father was still too close. The hairs on the back of his neck warned him that someone was coming, someone was watching. Neil tried to turn the feeling off.

Andrew finally finished his last cigarette and tossed the empty pack over his shoulder. He breathed in a very controlled way: in, one-two, out, one-two-three-four. It was too precise to be spontaneous.

”Sometimes I can’t sleep,” Andrew said. Quietly. Flat. Like he was talking about the weather.

”I have nightmares. Bad ones,” Neil offered.

A minute later, Andrew spoke again. ”The man who touched me at the restaurant was not the first one.”

”The one who got a fork through his hand?”

Andrew’s eyes flickered to meet Neil’s for a split second.

”Okay,” Neil said.

Andrew was quiet for a long time. Neil wanted to know more, ached to know if maybe Andrew was like him. While the others were afraid of him Neil was curious. He had already understood he could never tell anyone about his past, it would be too much for them and it would change the way they looked at him.

Maybe Andrew was different. Neil thought about the calm way he had watched Neil reveal his true eye color, no questions asked except wanting to earn a bit of the truth. He thought about the scars on his arms. Smoking ten cigarettes in one night. Maybe Andrew’s past was dark enough his present would not be tainted by Neil’s truths.

”I watched my mother die,” Neil said. ”And her body burn.”

Andrew fiddled with the lighter. ”My mother died in a car accident.” He flicked the lighter on. ”I caused it,” he added. There was no regret in Andrew’s face, more like peace. Satisfaction.

”On purpose,” Neil guessed.

”Not as dumb as you look, Josten.”

”Back to mocking me, now I recognize you.”

Something tugged on Andrew’s lips.

”Can I ask you something?” Neil said, thinking about the armbands he had seen Andrew wear since the first time he saw him.

”I think you already owe me one in this game, Neil.”

Neil liked the way Andrew said the name. It sounded real coming from his mouth.

”Well?”

”Go on.”

Moving slowly and predictably, Neil hooked one finger underneath the sleeve of Andrew’s hoodie and tugged it up an inch. The black edge of an armband peeked out.

In reply, Andrew pushed Neil’s hand away, tucked two fingers underneath the fabric and pulled out a knife. It fit nicely in his hand, a polished, deadly thing. He flicked it with ease a few times before hiding it again.

”Scared?”

Neil shook his head. ”I have a feeling it is for defense, not offense.”

”What difference does it make when someone is bleeding?”

”All the difference in the world. I would know.”

Andrew accepted Neil’s words quietly, and Neil wondered and waited for the truth he owed Andrew but no question ever came. Hours later when the world started to wake up they climbed down the fire escape, Andrew made Neil breakfast at the bar and when they said goodbye Neil was already looking forward to the next time he would see Andrew again.

Notes:

Comments are always appreciated thank you for reading xx

Chapter 6: Andrew

Notes:

Uh, so, a bit of a violent one. Be warned.

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoy it as much as I do writing it! Xx

Drunk people were one of the worst things Andrew knew, yet he worked at a bar and made a living out of making people more drunk. Even he could see the irony. Tonight was a fucking night. The bar was packed, a hen party in one corner, a group of rowdy men in one and a general air of wanting. Wanting what, Andrew didn’t know. He was mixing a drink for a man with a bad sunburn on his bald head and keeping an eye on the hen party at the same time. They were singing an old song he didn’t know. Some of the men around them were drawing a little too near. Andrew grit his teeth. Maybe they wanted the attention.

Andrew finished the drink and turned back to his work, surprised to see a row of most unwelcome foxes on the other side of the bar.

”Fuck no,” he said.

Renee, the only fox he could to some extent stand, smiled warmly at him and leaned her elbows on the counter.

”Good evening, Andrew.”

”If you want to order, get in line.” He nodded towards the pack of customers circling Nicky at the register. Nicky was laughing. While Andrew compared talking to people to torture, to Nicky it was heaven.

”I just came to say hello,” Renee said.

”And see if you can get us some skip the line perks!” Allison shouted from behind Renee. Andrew drew a deep breath. Seemed like this was not the foxes’ first stop of the night.

To get rid of them, Andrew slammed a bunch of glasses on a tray, filled them with shots and beers and a can of soda for Renee.

”Now leave me alone,” he hissed to loud fox cheers. Renee bowed and slipped away with the tray, there one moment and gone the next.

Five mojitos, nine G&T’s, fifteen shots of tequila and a bunch of other various drinks later, someone else made the unwise decision to approach Andrew at the bar. He was prepared to ignore them until he saw brown eyes with the telltale ridge of a contact lens.

Neil’s cheeks were slightly flushed.

”Hey,” he said.

Andrew swallowed. ”Want me to get you something? A drink?”

”No, it’s fine.”

Andrew nodded and scooped ice into a glass.

”Then why are you here?”

Neil shrugged. ”Wanted to say hi.”

Like it was that simple.

Maybe it was.

Andrew glanced at the collection of foxes and the obviously empty chair around their table.

”Come here alone?”

Neil pointed to the table of foxes Andrew had just spotted. ”After work drinks. Mandatory, apparently.”

”Sounds like the party started at work.”

”They can be a little intense,” Neil admitted.

Tickets for orders were piling up on the counter. Andrew took a quick glance, memorized the first five tickets and worked without really thinking about what he was doing. He would rather think about Neil’s blue eyes and the fact that he was still standing there by the bar instead of going back to his foxes.

A loud noise from the group of men took Andrew’s attention for a moment; a chair had tipped over and they were laughing too loud. Andrew cracked his neck. His hands kept working.

”What’s wrong?” Neil asked out of nowhere. Andrew snapped his eyes back to him. Everything about him was a little bit off, a little bit unreal.

Or maybe Andrew was not used to being seen.

”Your observational skills are unnecessary and unwelcome.”

”You seem tense.”

”Says the guy who checks every point of exit in this place every five seconds.”

Andrew’s voice was flat like always but Neil reacted as if he had yelled at him. A flinch, a downturn of his lips, then his features were carefully schooled back to neutrality.

Neil owed him some truths, so Andrew did not feel too bad collecting them. He added, ”There’s one more through the back of the kitchen.”

”Thanks,” Neil said dryly. ”Should I be worried about something?”

Andrew suddenly felt very fond of and also very sorry for this train wreck who couldn’t even let his guard down long enough to enjoy a few drinks with his friends. He was a mirror of Andrew, or a negative, because where Andrew sought control Neil ran away.

Andrew said, ”The men by the east windows are a ticking time bomb. I just hope they go off after they leave here.”

In a way that looked very natural Neil turned, waved at the foxes and turned back to Andrew. Only Andrew knew what he had really been looking at.

”Does this place usually draw people like that?”

”The resort does.” Andrew grabbed a soda from the fridge and slammed it in front of Neil’s stupid face. ”I’m done entertaining you. Go away.”

Neil smirked, took the soda and saluted Andrew. Andrew forced himself to look at his working hands instead of Neil’s retreating form.

Hours later, the bomb went off. They were past closing time but the men and the hen party and some of the foxes were still there - Renee and Allison had left earlier, only Matt and Dan were keeping Neil company now. Andrew heard Kevin and Aaron cleaning in the back, Nicky was out clearing tables and Andrew was cleaning the bar.

He was not sure how it started. But suddenly he heard,

”What the FUCK did you say to me?”

And boom. Explosion.

A fist landing on Nicky’s face sent him straight to the floor and Andrew was running before he knew anything else.

Neil reached him first. He was small, only barely taller than Andrew but with a wiry runner’s frame where Andrew was built. Still, Neil jumped on the back of the man who had punched Nicky without hesitating.

Things happened quickly after that.

Andrew reached Nicky and immediately his shirt was grabbed from behind. He whirled and threw a punch. He hit bone. It ached in his knuckles. People were shouting, kicking, punching, pressing closer and closer. Suffocatingly close. Andrew was forcing them away from Nicky. He couldn’t stop long enough to look but his cousin was still down. A knee to his stomach. Nausea hit him like a brick. A glass broke over someone’s head. Shouts. A fist to his ribs. A foot on his thigh. Sharp pain laced in all directions. For a moment his leg collapsed before he got back on his feet.

Andrew pulled his knife and held it like the threat he was, and suddenly the men were not so tough anymore. They took a step back as one, but Andrew was not about to let them get away with this. He snarled and leaped forwards, but multiple sets of strong hands held him back.

He let out some kind of noise.

”Stop, Andrew, please!”

Kevin.

Please .

”Cops are here.”

Andrew did not know that voice well enough to place it. He tried to move again; the hands held tight. The touch burned away every last bit of control. Someone was going to bleed. Nicky still hadn’t moved. Pain and panic and adrenaline was a physical being underneath Andrew’s skin and he felt like he was going to burst with it. He couldn’t breathe couldn’t breathe couldn’t-

”Let him go,” a new voice said urgently. Andrew knew this one.

”Let. Him. Go.”

The hands let him go. He was safe. Was he? The men were still there. Nicky was still on the floor.

Neil stepped closer without touching him, effectively blocking his view of everything around him.

”Andrew. The police will be here in a minute and they will not be happy if they find your knives. Do you understand?”

He nodded.

”I need you to give them to me. Trust me.”

He did.

Fuck it, he did.

He didn’t trust himself enough to move, though.

”Take them,” he rasped. Breathing had not returned to him yet.

Slender, gentle fingers dug into his arms, into his veins, under his skin. The familiar weight of the knives vanished.

Andrew tried to focus his eyes on something. The room was blurry. Neil’s shirt was torn. Instantly Andrew zeroed in on an ugly scar that peeked out. He met Neil’s eyes, a mix of sadness and panic eating him up. His face was a mess of blood. Andrew couldn’t get his mouth to work, he could only stare at the red dripping from Neil’s nose and down his temple.

Distantly, he heard Neil say, ”Fuck.”

Someone gave him a towel. Andrew watched him press it to his face.

After that, things shifted and time moved strangely. Andrew did not remember moving. He blinked and he was outside. Neil was still in front of him.

He blinked again. Blue and red and uniforms. Neil was growling at police officers.

He blinked again. Were was everyone? Aaron?

Neil said, ”Nicky will be okay. Aaron has him. They went to the hospital.”

Andrew clenched his fist and felt the skin split over his knuckles.

He took a deep, good breath, let the air fill his lungs to the breaking point. Another. A third.

He blinked and Neil was more than just the outline of a person. He had what looked like a bag of ice against his nose and his head tipped back. They were sitting on the low cement wall that lined the ocean walkway. Neil looked totally unconcerned at Andrew’s mental break. He might as well be sitting there to watch the stars.

Andrew hated him. So much.

He snatched the ice from Neil’s hand and put it on his swollen knuckles. He didn’t want to know what his face looked like. Something gnawed inside him and threatened to devour him if he didn’t acknowledge it. He thought it might be the absence of his family.

”Nicky has a concussion,” Neil said. ”He’s spending the night at the hospital for observation. Aaron and Kevin are cleaning the bar.”

Andrew thought he nodded. Maybe. Maybe Neil didn’t need such an obvious cue as a nod to read him. Somehow he seemed to understand him perfectly even when he was catatonic.

”Do you want to go home?”

Andrew considered it. For now he was good where he was. Everything in him ached but he didn’t ask Neil why he hadn’t been forced to go to the hospital too. It was a fact he was overwhelmingly grateful for.

”I think you have some shards of glass in your knee. You’re bleeding a bit. Other than that your knuckles are worst off.”

Andrew forced another breath. His ribs were not great but he would live with it.

”I’ll help if you want me to.”

Andrew hated him even more.

He looked at the spot where he had seen the gnarly scar on Neil’s chest. Neil had carefully rearranged his torn shirt so the scars were hidden from view, but he followed Andrew’s gaze and sighed.

”I’ll tell you, someday,” he said. ”But not tonight.”

Someday.

It sounded like a promise.

Chapter 7: Neil

Notes:

Neil being Neil, Andrew being Andrew, both of them struggling a bit and the foxes being amazing

The day after the fight at the bar, Neil woke up aching. It was a familiar stretch and a dull pain which took his mind places he did not want to go. He thought about Andrew. He thought about Andrew a lot. When he left him with Aaron and Kevin the night before he felt like he was betraying some sort of bond that had been created between them, but he reminded himself that Aaron and Kevin were Andrew’s family. They would know how to take care of him too.

On his walk to work he passed Andrew’s shop; it was still closed despite the hours posted on the doors claiming otherwise. He took the long way around to the bar; also closed. Just as he turned to the pier something familiar flashed in his periphery. He immediately looked that way but it was already gone. It was probably nothing. A bird, or a glint of light coming off a window.

The thing about it that sent Neil’s heart spluttering was the familiar shade of red.

With a chill in his skin Neil jumped the gate to the Foxhole and went to the offices. Wymack and Dan were leaning over Wymack’s desk, both looking up at Neil’s knock on the door.

”Neil, what are you doing here?” Wymack said. ”Dan told me what happened. You should take the day off.”

”I’m fine,” Neil said. Spending the day alone at home seemed like the worst kind of torture.

”You look like crap,” Dan said.

Neil had not looked in a mirror, but he could imagine. The blows to his face had not been kind.

”I’m fine,” Neil insisted. ”Have you heard anything about Nicky?”

Wymack straightened up. ”Kevin called. Nicky came home this morning, physically he’ll be fine.”

Dan slammed her hand on the desk. Neil tried to hide his flinch. ”Those fucking- I hope they never come back.”

Steps behind Neil marked Matt’s arrival.

”Talking about last night?” he guessed. ”That was seriously messed up.” He looked at Neil and made a face. ”You look like crap.”

”I’m fine,” Neil repeated.

”Wymack, heard anything about the guys they took to the hospital? Kevin said he thought one might lose an eye after what Andrew did.”

Dan shuddered. ”He was a monster last night. Those guys are lucky to be alive.” She frowned at her own words. ”But I guess they got what they deserved.”

Neil did not like how they talked about Andrew, so he made an attempt to shift the conversation. ”Do you know what happened? Why they went after Nicky?”

Wymack and Dan exchanged a look. Dan was the one who spoke.

”Neil, Nicky is very…flamboyant and colorful for a man. Not everyone, and especially not white cis males who pay thousands of dollars to stat at a resort in the south, agree with what Nicky is.”

”Which is what?” Neil said. He honestly couldn’t see the issue here.

”Well, he’s gay,” Matt said carefully.

Neil looked between all three of them. They were talking to him as if trying not to spook him.

Neil said, ”So?”

Apparently it was not the answer they had expected. Dan’s frown grew deeper. ”So those guys were homophobic assholes.”

”That’s it? They jumped him because he’s gay?”

All three nodded. Neil threw his hands in a defeated gesture. He understood he had been raised in a secluded way and did not see things like others did, but this was the most stupid thing he had learned about the outside world yet.

”Who even has time to be offended by who other people like or don’t. That’s crazy.”

Wymack, Dan and Matt all watched him in silence.

Slowly, Matt put a hand on Neil’s shoulder and pulled him into a hug.

”Never change, Neil,” Matt said.

 

The closed shop and bar sat quiet like two gravestones for the next couple of days. Neil got updates from Kevin via Matt - Nicky was okay, they just needed a few days off. Matt never asked Kevin about Andrew. Neil felt weird asking Matt to ask Kevin about Andrew, so instead he spent the days wondering how he was. Every night he went on a run to the shop, every night he was disappointed when no Andrew sat smoking on the roof. He didn’t know where they lived and was a little afraid he wouldn’t be welcome.

Neil was invited to dinner with the foxes at Wymack’s. He felt very much at home with them, despite them being a lot they were kind and inviting and they made Neil laugh. He couldn’t remember ever laughing this much in his life. Sometimes he wondered if he had ever truly laughed at all before he ran away.

They had finished eating and Wymack and Renee were clearing the table. With Matt on one side and Allison on the other Neil felt safe enough not to have to glance at the door every other minute.

”Neil, have you talked to Nicky lately?” Allison asked even though Matt had been the one to deliver the latest update from Kevin. Neil shook his head.

”Bummer. I was thinking we should invite them this weekend but I’m not sure he would say yes if I ask.”

While Neil tried to figure out what she meant by that, Dan clapped her hands together. ”We should get Neil to ask!”

”That’s what I was thinking!” Allison said, equally excited. Renee came to stand behind her and looped her arms around Allison’s neck in a way that made Allison’s cheeks flush.

”Why me?” Neil said.

”They’ll totally say yes if you ask,” Matt said. ”They like you. Even Andrew seems to not entirely hate you.”

Renee took pity on Neil’s confusion and said, ”We don’t have the best relationship with Andrew’s lot. Some things have happened between us in the past.”

”What things?”

Wymack was doing the dishes in the kitchen, his back turned, but Neil was pretty sure he was listening.

Dan pursed her lips and said, ”Andrew is a psychopath, that’s what happened.”

”Dan,” Matt said.

”No, didn’t he just prove it once and for all? He nearly beat those men to death. If we hadn’t been there I’m sure he would have.”

”He was protecting his family,” Renee said softly. ”Nicky was hurt pretty bad too.”

”Anyways,” Allison said loudly, effectively blocking everyone else. ”Back to us wanting to do something nice for Nicky. Neil, you have to ask Andrew.”

”Why not ask Nicky?”

Allison waved impatiently at him even though Neil thought his question was completely reasonable. ”Nicky won’t do it unless Andrew allows it. So you have to convince Andrew to say yes.”

”To what, exactly?”

Allison shrugged and flicked one perfect curl over her shoulder. ”Going to Charleston Saturday. A surprise for Nicky.”

”Um, okay, I guess,” Neil said. ”But I haven’t seen them in a few days. The restaurant is closed.”

”I’ll give you Kevin’s number so you can call him,” Matt said.

”I don’t have a phone.”

Four pairs of eyes stared at him so apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

”What?” Neil said defensively.

From the kitchen, Wymack grunted, ”There’s a landline in my office. Kevin’s number is on speed dial 1.”

Why Kevin’s number was on speed dial was an entirely different question Neil did not have the energy to ask. He pushed his chair out with a little force and left the foxes. He was still not sure what he was being coerced into doing, but he wanted to talk to Andrew so he was not against calling him.

He found the office, found the phone, and found the button for speed dial. The phone rang twice before it clicked.

”Kevin.”

Neil said, ”It’s Neil. Can I talk to Andrew?”

A second too long of silence passed, then Kevin said, ”What are you doing at Wymack’s? You okay?”

”Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

”Well, a few days ago someone bashed your head in with a glass.”

Neil’s fingers found the wound at the side of his head. It had closed nicely without stitches and was not very deep, but his skull still felt a bit tender.

”I’m fine.”

”Of course you are.”

”How’s Nicky?”

Kevin’s sigh into the phone sounded like static. ”Not great. He’ll be fine.”

”Can I talk to Andrew?” Neil repeated.

After another long second, Kevin said, ”He hasn’t really talked much.”

”What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

”Ever since that night. He’s been off.”

”Off.”

”Like someone hit the red button on the remote. Off.”

Neil bit at his lower lip. He desperately wanted to go see Andrew in person, maybe then he could at least see if there was any life left in his eyes. A plan formed in his head as he looked out the window of Wymack’s office and saw the setting sun.

”Give him the phone, Kevin.”

Kevin sighed again but there was a rustle, some faint words being spoken and then silence. Neil was pretty sure it was Andrew’s silence he was listening to now.

”It’s me,” Neil said. ”Will you come to the roof?”

Andrew did not say anything, but there was a grunt in a voice Neil knew. He took it as victory.

When it became clear Andrew was not going to speak Neil ended the call. He paused before he put the phone down. Something about Wymack’s office and Wymack’s entire being reminded him a little bit of Hernandez. He hadn’t thought about him in a long time, but now that he had a phone in his hand he felt like he owed Hernandez something. Something like a thanks. Without him, Neil never would have made it here, to this house with people he might call friends, who made him laugh and feel safe. He wanted Hernandez to know he had made it. That he didn’t have to worry.

Neil hesitated for one moment. Then he entered the phone number he would remember to his grave.

No answer. Of course, it was late. Neil considered giving up the whole thing, but then he remembered how Hernandez had emptied his wallet to give Neil everything he had.

He left a message. Short and to the point.

I found somewhere safe.

With a strange mix of nostalgia and sadness, Neil went back to the foxes and tried to clear the thought of Hernandez from his mind.

”Well?” Allison exclaimed when she saw him. Renee had taken Neil’s chair and moved to stand, but Neil stopped her.

”I’m going to meet Andrew. I’ll let you know how it went tomorrow.”

”Neil, it’s late,” Dan said. ”Are you sure?”

”Of course.”

She looked doubtful but stood to give him a hug. ”Be careful, okay?”

He couldn’t tell her that there were much worse things in the world than Andrew Minyard that were out to get him.

Neil took a detour to his house to grab Andrew’s knives before he jogged to the shop, and apparently Andrew lived close because when Neil reached it he was already there. Neil climbed up and sat next to him.

Andrew was not smoking. His legs were dangling over the edge. Even in the dark Neil could see the bruises on his face had not faded yet.

He put the knives between them. Andrew glanced at them but did not move.

”Kevin said you haven’t talked.”

The muscle in his jaw bulged.

”He also said Nicky will be alright. You protected him.”

”Not good enough.” Andrew’s voice was more rasp than anything. He cleared his throat angrily.

”You couldn’t have known what was going to happen.”

”But I did.”

Neil remembered Andrew saying a bomb was about to go off.

”The others are a little more afraid of you now, I’m sure.”

Andrew gave him a tired look.

”You’re not a monster.”

Andrew seemed to think for a great while. Or maybe he was trying to get some life back to himself. In the end, he took the knives and slipped them under his armbands with the ease of having done something many times before. His shoulders relaxed and he looked out to the dark ocean.

Neil followed his gaze. The ocean gave him the same feeling Andrew did; something vast and safe and intriguing.

He said, ”What happened with the cops?”

”Kevin Day was being Kevin Day. They didn’t press any charges.”

”Who even is Kevin Day?” Neil asked. Kevin was a lot of things but master diplomat did not seem like one of them.

”A washed up exy professional.”

”And that was it? They let you off the hook because Kevin said so?”

Andrew shrugged one shoulder. ”Being famous has its perks.”

They sat silently for a while. Neil felt at home in their silence. It made his heart pound in his chest and his always so restless legs quiet down. He could hear Andrew’s soft breathing.

”You want something from me,” Andrew said.

”Yes.”

”Ask.”

”The foxes wanted to invite Nicky to go to Charleston this weekend. To cheer him up, they said.”

For some reason, Andrew seemed to be amused by this. ”Do they? They hate our guts.”

”Matt has been calling Kevin every day to see how Nicky’s doing.”

”Do you know what’s happening in Charleston this weekend?”

Neil shrugged. ”A party. I don’t know. They didn’t say. Wanted it to be a surprise.”

”Oh, he’d be surprised, that’s for sure.”

Neil waited for Andrew to consider it for a minute. ”So?”

”My cousin was just hospitalized and traumatized. I’m not letting him out of my sight.”

”So go with them.”

Andrew laughed, a cold, unhappy laugh. ”They don’t want me there.”

”So?” Neil said. ”Since when do you care what they think?”

Andrew pulled out a pack of cigarettes and put two between his lips. The flame of the lighter flickered in the slight breeze. He handed one lit cigarette to Neil. Their fingers brushed and with it, something other than cigarette smoke burned in Neil’s chest.

”They really said Charleston this weekend,” Andrew said.

”Why, do you have somewhere to be?”

Andrew leaned back and blew smoke into the night air.

He said, ”Yes. Nicky can go. On one condition.”

Neil’s heart beat with success. ”What?”

Andrew met his eyes. ”You have to come too.”

”I’d rather not. Pick something else.”

”Ever been to Charleston?”

”No”

”I think you’ll like it.”

Neil tapped fingers restlessly on his thigh. Going to a bigger city was a risky move for him. He felt safe in Palmetto, hidden and he had started to know his surroundings. Anything could happen, he could be caught by a camera, CCTV, a random news reporter. He had just started to relax into his new life, doing something now to risk having it all ripped away from him was foolish.

And yet-

”Fine.”

Neil had never been known to make wise decisions. His mother was probably rolling in her grave.

 

The drive to Charleston was an hour of air condition, loud music and foxes singing out of tune. Neil rode with the foxes in Matt’s car, behind them Andrew was driving his lot. At one specifically ear-splitting note from Allison, Neil kind of wished he was in the other car.

They parked and Neil was at once uncomfortable. The city was swarming with people. Very colorful people.

Very colorful people.

From behind him, Neil heard Nicky say, ”What’s going on?”

Nicky had come back from the hospital with no permanent damage, but something in him had shifted. When Neil first saw him his eyes were a little more dull, his smile a little more hesitant. But now something was igniting in him.

Allison and Dan opened a duffel which completely exploded with feathers, fabric and flags all in rainbow colors. He watched Aaron step away from it like it was something lethal.

”Happy pride!” they shouted in unison.

Nicky looked like he was going to cry.

”What-”

Neil felt a presence next to him and glanced at Andrew.

”What’s this?” he whispered. Andrew leaned a little closer to hear him.

”If you haven’t heard of pride parades I might start to think you are an actual alien.”

Their eyes met. Andrew shook his head in disappointment. ”Just play along, Josten.”

Neil played along.

It turned into a good day.

They must have been quite a sight; Andrew with scabs on his knuckles and angry bruises on his face, Neil with his still swollen nose, and both Matt and Nicky were bruised as well. Allison handed out flags and headbands to everyone and painted stripes of color on Nicky, Matt, Dan and Renee’s faces. Aaron was looking like he was in line to be executed, but he took a flag and held it in a white knuckled fist. Kevin’s hair was pulled pack with a rainbow headband. Nicky got a t-shirt that screamed PRIDE and matched it with a boa, striped socks and now he was definitely crying.

Neil did not understand much but as Andrew suggested, he played along. He even let Allison paint on his face. Once Allison decided her work was done they followed the stream of people into town. Loud music spilled from speakers everywhere. Food was being sold, more rainbow merch, Neil stared at a man who made balloons out of what he suspected was condoms until Dan pushed him along. The group split; Kevin and Aaron stopped at a tent with ball games, Matt and Dan at a karaoke stage and Neil and Andrew followed Nicky, Allison and Renee through the crowd.

Neil stole glances of Andrew every chance he got. He looked different. Not just because he was wearing a bright orange headband and had bought a sleeveless t-shirt with a large rainbow printed on it; something about his face was perhaps a little softer. Peaceful. He had his armbands on but with the sleeveless shirt he showed off an unusual amount of his shoulders and biceps. They walked close to each other in the crowd. Once or twice close enough their knuckles brushed. Neil’s fingers twitched with something, some wanting.

The street ended with a large square where a band was playing on a stage. Nicky and the girls disappeared into the crowd, dancing as they went. For a minute Andrew craned his neck as if that would make him tall enough to see his cousin.

As soon as they stopped, Neil’s ribs started cramping. He should feel safe in the crowd, but the back of every head could be Lola, every eye he met could belong to his father. He saw piercing, blue eyes and ice shot through his veins. It was not his father. It couldn’t be. He looked again and the eyes were gone.

Andrew had hooked his fingers into the collar of Neil’s shirt.

”You’re not running away,” he growled. Neil shook his head. He had to. He had to-

Andrew shoved him around and made him walk. He couldn’t see past the writhing bodies around him, couldn’t hear past the pounding bass of the music.

His back hit a wall and the impact forced him to take a breath.

”I think only one of us gets to have a mental break this week,” Andrew said flatly. Neil would have laughed.

”Can we-” he said. Andrew tugged him along and when they stopped they were slightly above the crowd with a wall behind them. Neil could breathe again.

”Anything you’d like to share with the class?” Andrew said once it became clear that Neil was not about to spontaneously run away or combust or something.

Neil shook his head almost violently. Voicing his fears was a completely different thing to thinking them. To his relief, Andrew did not push and they stood in silence, watching the dancing crowd below.

”I think it was because we stopped moving.”

”Why am I not surprised.”

Neil rolled his eyes. ”I like running.”

”Sounds like you just like running away.”

It came as a surprise to himself when Neil said, ”I don’t want to.”

The words sat between them for a long time. Neil was back to himself, he still itched for a run but for now he could stay still. He stopped looking for his father in the crowd. What he had said was true - he didn’t want to run. For the first time in his life, Neil wanted to stay. He was desperate for it. He also knew it was impossible, because sooner or later they would find him and he would have to run. Or worse. Neil tried to turn his brain off. The night was warm, Andrew was next to him, music played and people were laughing and dancing.

Into the air of hope and joy, Andrew said, ”I want to hold your hand.”

Neil leaned his head back against the wall and twisted to see Andrew. He was staring straight ahead, a bulge in his jaw, scabbed knuckles pulled in a tight fist.

”Okay,” Neil said.

”You say that but I get the feeling you don’t know what it means.”

Neil considered the angle of Andrew’s jaw, his straight nose, his wide shoulders. Neil had never been attracted to someone before, his life had not really allowed it, so he wasn’t entirely sure how it was supposed to feel. But if it felt something like this, he could understand what all the fuss was about.

He offered his hand.

”Yes,” Neil said.

A moment later Andrew took his hand.

Neil bit the insides of his cheeks against a sudden swell in his chest. He was going to die and now that he had injected himself into these people’s lives, the consequences would suddenly be so much worse. Before, no one would have cared if he died. Now he was next to Andrew who wanted to hold his hand, Andrew who shared his cigarettes at 3 am when neither of them could sleep, Andrew, Andrew, Andrew.

Neil had the horrible, horrible feeling Andrew would care. And there was nothing either of them could do to stop Neil’s death from happening.

But right now, he could hold Andrew’s hand.

Chapter 8: Andrew

Notes:

The boys talking a bit about their past. Tw for, well, their lives pretty much

Andrew’s hand tingled several hours after he had held Neil’s. He was done for. It was over for him. The pride parade had been packed with men just his type - dark haired, broad shoulders, piercings or tattoos or both. Neil was none of those things. And yet, with Neil there, Andrew couldn’t bare to waste his time looking at anyone else.

Late at night when they were finally heading home, everyone regrouped at the parking lot. When Nicky started taking his rainbow merch off to return it to Allison, the foxes immediately stopped him.

”It was a gift,” Dan said. ”Keep it. Everything.”

Andrew felt like he knew where this was going, and he wondered if he could get in the car so he wouldn’t have to watch Nicky cry.

”I can’t wear them at home,” Nicky said. A tear was already halfway down his cheek. ”Not in Palmetto.”

”Nicky-” Allison sighed. ”Baby, of course you can. Those men were idiots. They don’t know anything.”

Nicky started crying for real, still removing every bit of color from himself.

Andrew got in the car.

The drive home was silent. It was not until they were home and in the hallway when Nicky turned to Andrew.

”Thank you for letting me go,” he whispered, and went to lick his wounds in his room.

Andrew spent a long time thinking after that. He knew he wouldn’t get any sleep and thought about going to the shop in the hopes that Neil would be there, but if Neil did show up there was no knowing what Andrew might want to do to him. It was better to give him some space. At least for one night.

The next day they had decided to open up business as usual, so Kevin, Andrew, Nicky and Andrew all rode the car together to the restaurant. It was a sullen Nicky who got out of the car, at least until Kevin stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He pointed towards the pier.

”Nicky,” he said. ”Look.”

Nicky looked up. Andrew looked up.

It was quite a sight.

The entire Foxhole pier was decorated with rainbow flags, balloons, glitter was wrapped around poles, helium balloons were tied to the ticket booths. Grudgingly, Andrew watched the pure shock and joy on Nicky’s face. He had to admit that sometimes the foxes weren’t all bad.

It was a busy day at the shop, it had only been closed for four days but apparently in that time the entire town had run out of all of their supplies. The brainless task of managing the shop kept Andrew’s mind occupied, but he still saw flashes of rainbow flags from the pier every time he looked in that direction. He wondered if Nicky saw it too.

Towards the end of the day Renee turned up with a soft smile and the ends of her hair matching the hideous Foxhole colors. Andrew frowned at her. It only made her smile grow.

”Do you like it?” she said and swiveled her head from side to side, making the colors blend together.

”It looks like a unicorn took a dump on your head.”

”Exactly the look I was going for.”

”You are insane.”

”I talked to Aaron, he said you were keeping the restaurant closed for fourth of July. Me and the others thought we’d go for a boat ride and wondered if you all would like to join us?”

”Can’t, we’re busy,” Andrew said, just to be contrary.

”That’s a pity,” Renee said without missing a beat. ”It looks like it’s going to be a lovely day.”

”I hope you burn in the sun.”

She got a sharp glint in her eye, the one Andrew always tried to reach by being, well, himself. The sharpness that was a promise of them being the same.

”Always lovely to talk to you, Andrew.”

”Piss off,” he said, but he gave her a salute on the way out and she returned it with a smile.

Once the rush had died down at the shop, Andrew locked up and pointedly avoided looking at the colorful mess of the Foxhole. He saw it anyways, of course. It was impossible to miss.

The bar was just as busy as the shop had been, and Andrew kept a close eye on Nicky all night. Out of the four of them - Andrew, Aaron, Nicky and Kevin - Nicky was probably the worst at faking it. Things slipped through his face and into his voice all night, but luckily the customers were on their best behavior. It might have something to do with Andrew glowering next to Nicky and staring everyone down, daring them to do something mean.

Things went well until they didn’t. A woman came up to Nicky and Andrew instantly disliked her. Something was very wrong with the way she smiled and leaned on the bar. Andrew instinctively stepped closer to Nicky.

”Hey there,” she said in a polished accent.

”Evening,” Nicky replied kindly. ”What can I do for you? Glass of wine?”

”Actually, I’m looking for someone.” Her lips were too red. Her eyes too cold. ”My nephew. Blue eyes, reddish hair. Short.” She held a hand level with her own head to show his height.

”Sorry,” Nicky said, while Andrew’s heart clenched with something painful. ”A lot of people pass through here.”

”His name’s Nathaniel. Are you sure you haven’t seen him?”

Nicky shook his head, oblivious to how irritated the woman was becoming. He said, ”If you leave your number I can give you a call in case he shows up?”

”That would be great! Thank you so much!”

They exchanged pleasantries and Nicky got her an old receipt to write on. The second she was out of sight Andrew ripped the paper from Nicky’s hand and walked off despite his cousin’s protests.

He took the car. He had a vague memory of where Wymack’s cabin was, and luckily, for him a vague memory was better than most people’s. The car screeched when he slammed the brakes and slammed the door and Neil had opened his front door before Andrew was halfway to the house.

To call it a house was generous - it couldn’t be much more than two rooms inside. It was remote and quiet, the only sound the ticking of the car engine cooling down.

”Andrew-”

”Hello, Nathaniel,” Andrew spat, fighting everything inside him not to pull a knife. He knew Neil-Nathaniel-Neil had secrets. But not this. Not Nathaniel. Not red lipstick coming to Andrew’s home.

Neil’s flinch wrecked his entire body. For a moment Andrew thought he was going to shut the door in Andrew’s face.

When he spoke, Andrew didn’t recognize his voice. Broken and cold, he said, ”How do you know that name?”

Andrew held the piece of paper an inch from Neil’s nose. Neil took it and read quickly.

”Annie,” he said and scrunched his nose. ”That’s a fake name.”

”Takes one to know one,” Andrew muttered.

Neil pressed on. ”What did she look like?”

”Who is she?”

”Short, smart, manipulative.”

”Spot on,” Andrew said. ”She said you were her nephew.”

Despite looking ready to dissolve, Neil held himself together and snorted a laugh. ”Not quite.” He leaned heavily against the doorframe and closed his eyes. ”She works for my father.”

His father.

Neil swallowed hard. ”Do you want to come inside?”

Andrew really shouldn’t. He should make Neil-Nathaniel leave his town and hope the trouble would follow him away from there. He remembered the feeling of Neil’s hand in his. With all the lies surrounding them, the touch felt like the only true thing Andrew knew.

He followed Neil inside.

There seemed to be more space inside the cabin because Neil had very little furniture. Andrew suspected the table and two chairs, the microwave and the bed all belonged to Wymack. The kitchen floor, however, Andrew knew Neil was responsible for. He felt complicit in the crime that it was since he had been the one to sell Neil the orange paint.

Neither of them were in the mood to joke about the floor. Still, Neil said, ”Nice, right?”

Andrew glared at the floor.

They sat at the table. Neil fiddled with the receipt with the fake name and number. Andrew sat sideways to give himself some distance to Neil.

”Nathaniel Abram Wesninski,” Neil said. ”My mother called me Abram.”

It sounded like a truth.

Andrew didn’t know what to ask to get another one.

Neil kept going. ”My father is Nathan. Wesninski. He’s made himself a millionaire on crime.”

Crime. Neil said it like one would say teacher, or scientist, or fireman.

”My mother stole money from him, took me and ran. We didn’t make it very far before he caught up. She died.”

From the corner of his eye Andrew saw Neil run his fingers over his own chest and stomach. With the angry scar Andrew had seen, he got a sudden feeling there were more.

”I managed to take a knife during dinner one night. It was what I needed to get out of there.”

”And now you’re here.”

”And now I’m here,” Neil agreed. He put the receipt face down on the table and covered it with his palm. ”And now she’s here. Lola. Which means…”

Which meant Neil’s father was not far behind. Which meant Neil would run.

”Stay,” Andrew urged. ”You can’t run for the rest of your life. Stay here, and-”

We’ll face it together, Andrew wanted to say, but it was too much.

”He’ll kill me,” Neil whispered.

Andrew had never had much faith in the police, but he was grasping at straws by now. ”Call the cops.”

”He owns the cops.”

Andrew stood up with enough force his chair toppled into the wall behind it, then it went back on all fours. Apart from the last couple of weeks Andrew had lived his life without the knowledge that Neil Josten - or whoever he was - existed. Looking back now, it was difficult to remember what that life had been like. Duller, maybe. Quieter. Like he had been waiting for something.

Well, here was something. It had crashed down upon Andrew without mercy and still he wanted more.

In the thick silence and the safety of just the two of them in the room, Neil said, ”He killed my mother.”

Andrew did not speak for a long, long time.

”Stay,” he repeated at last.

Their eyes met.

”Okay,” Neil said.

Andrew looked at the crappy job Neil had made of painting the floor. Globs of unevenly applied paint made an ugly pattern.

It was perfect.

”I want to do more than hold your hand,” Andrew said. He looked at Neil now and saw the lines of stress and fear on his face turn into something else.

Andrew said, ”I want to kiss you.”

Neil swallowed audibly. ”I’d like that too.”

Andrew stepped closer. ”You can’t touch me,” he said, and irrational anger flared when Neil sat on his hands.

Closer.

”Still yes?”

”Yes,” Neil breathed, also a truth.

Andrew stepped closer, leaned down and kissed him.

And he didn’t care about fake names or lies or anything other than this: their lips touching, warm and electrical, the surprised gasp from Neil’s mouth and Andrew wanted to hear it again and again.

Neil Josten was real. He was surrounding Andrew in every way possible.

They kissed, and Andrew was exhausted and disgusting from working all day, and angry at being lied to, but he was kissing a beautiful boy and nothing else mattered.

Despite his body screaming for the opposite, Andrew pulled away to give Neil a break. He almost looked a little light-headed.

”I-” he said, and blinked his eyes open. ”Can we do that again?”

Andrew kissed him again, and again, and again, like they had all the time in the world. His fingers twitched with needing to touch, to hold, to feel skin. It felt a little dangerous, wanting this much. It also felt right.

Again, Andrew pulled back. They breathed together, chests rising and falling.

Fuck not wanting anything. Andrew needed.

”Take your shirt off, yes or no?”

Neil’s hesitation was clear, and Andrew thought he understood why. He thought of the edge of a scar, and he if anyone knew scars were very private things.

Andrew took his own shirt off and, after a second, pulled his armbands off. He twisted his hands palms up and let Neil get a good look at the mess of his arms. Everything from the first, smallest scratch to the deep, horizontal lines near his wrists that should have killed him.

”It’s been a long time,” Andrew confessed, even though some days it didn’t feel like it. ”And a lot of therapy.”

He took a step away from Neil. ”Just because I showed you doesn’t mean you have to. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to.”

”I want to,” Neil said, and he sounded sure. ”Just-” A sigh. He stood up. ”It’s bad,” Neil warned him. He pulled the shirt over his head.

Andrew had believed every word Neil had said, but up until that moment he hadn’t really understood. Not completely. It was one thing to hear about having a psychopath father and another to see it. When Neil took his shirt off the physical evidence of the abuse became very clear. For a moment Andrew froze. His brain had to reboot. The image he had of Neil in his mind quickly vanished. He wasn’t disappointed, of course, not to see miles of perfect golden skin, but he was surprised.

He catalogued every scar, from the angry slashes across Neil’s stomach, the red patches on his chest, the long stripe that climbed up his neck, the perfect imprint of a clothing iron on his arm.

”How are you alive?”

”Duct tape and stubbornness,” Neil joked, but it fell flat.

Andrew, consciously turning his wrist so his own scars were visible, reached for him. He paused an inch away.

”It’s okay,” Neil said. ”You can touch them.” He gestured at the large patches on his chest. ”I don’t really feel anything here, but I don’t mind.”

Andrew pulled his hand back completely. He didn’t like the response, which Neil apparently understood because he added, ”I want you to touch me.”

Andrew did. Neil was warm. Uneven ridges and lines, all unique to him. Andrew spread his fingers over skin and he wanted more, more.

”Kiss, yes or no?” he asked.

”Yes, always yes,” Neil breathed, and their lips crashed together.

They made out until Andrew’s lips were numb. When they needed a break, Andrew sat on Neil’s kitchen counter. Neil sat on his orange floor.

It was late. Pitch black outside and inside. They hadn’t turned on the lights. Fleetingly, Andrew wondered if Neil had any lights at all.

”Truth for truth,” Neil said into the dark. Andrew had lost track of whose turn it was.

”Yes,” he said.

”You said the man who touched you at the restaurant wasn’t the first one.”

Andrew waited for the question.

”Who was the first one?”

Andrew had a near perfect memory of everything that had happened in his life since he was around three years old. If something happened before then he didn’t know. But he did know this:

”I was in foster care from the day I was born. Dear mommy only kept one of us.”

”Aaron,” Neil said.

”He was worse off, I think. She was supposed to love him.”

”And you?”

Andrew shrugged. He had never told anyone besides his therapist. Somehow telling Neil was easier. ”Twelve homes in sixteen years. No one was supposed to love me. Only one did.”

He still felt the warmth of her hug. The smile in her eyes. The deep ruin of wanting.

”Her biological son was ten years older than me. And a lot stronger.”

Andrew left the rest to Neil’s imagination. Some things didn’t need to be spoken. ”He wasn’t the first one either. None of the homes were good. But not all of them were that bad.”

”What happened at sixteen?”

Andrew watched as Neil lied down on the floor, his naked chest right underneath Andrew’s feet. His features were all smudged in the dark.

”Got myself arrested. Spent a year in juvie. Moved in with Aaron and his mother. She died. Then Nicky moved back from Germany and took us in.”

It was a quick retelling of a lot of things, Andrew knew. But it gave Neil a basic outline and right now Andrew didn’t feel like sharing anymore.

He was ready to kiss Neil again.

Chapter 9: Neil

Notes:

Well. This whole chapter is a warning.
I’m sorry

Your comments are lovely and make me so happy, it’s so much fun hearing your reactions xx

Neil didn’t hear or see anything else about Lola for the next couple of days, so he started thinking, hoping, that maybe she was just stopping at random towns asking about him. If they knew he was there, they would surely have come for him by now.

Neil’s time was spent working at the Foxhole, hanging out with the foxes, haunting Wymack’s house, and most importantly, with Andrew. After that first clumsy kiss, Neil couldn’t get enough. Every night they sat on the roof and talked and smoked and kissed. Sometimes Andrew touched him. Sometimes he didn’t.

One night, Neil placed a kiss right underneath Andrew’s ear, right at the end of his sharp jaw. That was the first time he made Andrew moan.

It was way past midnight one night when Andrew let Neil put his hands in his hair. The soft strands slipped between his fingers. Andrew kissed him deeper. They were lying down, Neil on his back with Andrew hovering above him. One of his hands cradled Neil’s jaw. The other was on his stomach. As Andrew let his fingers wander lower, Neil’s breath hitched. Maybe a part of him had hoped this was were they were going, but he had not really given it much thought. Their kisses felt like such a monumental thing that it was hard to want more. Now that Andrew’s fingers were teasing the edge of his jeans, it was like he had awakened something inside Neil.

”Yes,” Neil hurried to say before Andrew had the chance to ask.

”Yes, what?” Andrew murmured, nipping at Neil’s lower lip with his teeth.

”To whatever you’re thinking. Yes.”

”Are you sure?” Andrew kissed his way to Neil’s ear. His hot breath tickled. ”Because I’m thinking I want to take you in my mouth.”

Neil let out a sound that would have embarrassed him if Andrew hadn’t immediately latched their lips together once more.

”Yes,” Neil panted against his lips. ”Yes. Do that.”

Andrew snorted. It was the closest thing to a laugh Neil had ever heard from him. Neil’s hands were still in Andrew’s hair and he tugged at it involuntarily as Andrew worked his fingers underneath the hem of his jeans. The first touch was with the fabric of his boxers between but it made Neil’s legs twitch.

”Can I-” Neil gasped as Andrew pressed down. ”Take them off. Can you-”

Andrew swiftly worked the buttons open and pulled both jeans and boxers down in one swift move. He gave Neil another kiss and covered one of Neil’s hands, still buried in his hair, with his own.

”Don’t hold me down,” he warned. Then he made his way down between Neil’s legs and even in the cloudy night sky, Neil saw stars.

 

Monday was the fourth of July, one of few holidays Neil actually knew about. Somehow the foxes had included Andrew’s lot in their plans for the day, and somehow Andrew had agreed. The town held a parade in the evening with fireworks and food and entertainment and they were all to go together. In the morning they went out with the boat, Kevin, Aaron, Nicky, Andrew and Neil in Andrew’s, followed by another much smaller boat that held the foxes. To be fair, every boat looked small next to Andrew’s. Neil thought it was probably big enough for all the foxes to fit as well, but he was glad for the space. When Andrew sped out into open water Neil held on for his life, but the wind in his hair was warm and felt surprisingly good.

They tied the boats together and now there was laughing, loud music playing on a speaker Dan had brought, beer and drinks being shared back and forth, the girls were in bikinis and the boys in swim shorts. Neil kept his shirt on. No one mentioned it. Andrew sat close to Neil. No one mentioned that, either.

Matt and Aaron managed a small electrical barbecue and handed out hamburgers to everyone. Andrew was smoking and claimed his hands were full, but he took a few bites out of Neil’s. He probably ended up eating almost half of it. When Neil took a second burger, he ate half of that one as well. Neil watched Andrew’s lips as he licked his fingers clean and his mind instantly provided him with the image of Andrew between his legs. In that moment he was extremely grateful he was wearing a baggy t-shirt.

After eating and soaking in the sun for a while, the others went in the water. Matt had brought an inflatable ball which they tossed back and forth and kicked at. Allison was the best swimmer, she reached the ball first every time and laughed in triumph. Kevin looked absolutely ruined at being beaten. Andrew and Renee both clung to the edge of the boat where Neil sat and chatted to him. Andrew’s armbands were even darker when wet. Neil pictured the scars underneath, the ones he had been trusted to see.

Neil thought about putting his feet in the water. It could be nice. He was kind of hot. He dipped the toes of one foot in, and then all of it. His foot looked strange and distorted through the water’s surface.

”Alright, Neil!” Nicky cheered. ”The water’s great, get in!”

”No, I’m good.”

”Come on, I promise it’s not that cold.”

”No, I-”

He reached Neil so fast. He took hold of Neil’s ankle and pulled, and Neil should’ve been strong enough to resist it, but his fingers slipped on the wet deck of the boat and suddenly he was in the water.

Water in his eyes. His mouth. His nose. It gurgled around him. He reached for something, anything, to get him out. To get the hand off his neck. Out of his hair. He clawed and he was drowning, drowning-

”Abram, stop.”

He stopped, and strong arms pulled him out. For a minute he lay there, spluttering and coughing. He was on a boat with his friends. The water tasted like salt. He was not back there.

”I want everyone out of my sight in two minutes,” Andrew growled. ”Leave us.”

Neil couldn’t see the others’ reactions, but soon he heard an engine roar to life. Distantly, he wondered how they fit seven people on the foxes’ little boat.

The sound of the foxes and the engine gradually disappeared and soon it was just him and Andrew and the ocean. Neil’s skin was starting to dry but his clothes were soaked. He wanted to take them off.

”What happened,” Andrew said flatly.

”I told you I can’t swim.”

”That was something else. That was panic.”

”I think people who can’t swim are allowed to panic if they are dragged into the water.”

Andrew’s face pulled a very Andrew expression. ”Fine. Don’t tell me. But next time they try to force you to do something, push back. Don’t let them get away with it.”

Neil scrunched his nose. He thought about telling Andrew, he thought about not telling him. Andrew pushed his face away.

Neil closed his eyes and remembered what drowning felt like.

”My father- he is not a nice man.”

”So I’ve gathered.”

”Quite inventive.”

Andrew kept his face carefully blank as Neil searched for the words.

”We had a bathtub. He would make me watch as he filled it up.”

”And then?”

Neil made a vague gesture with his hand, like he was holding someone down. Andrew’s lips pressed into a thin line. He stood up hastily and put some distance between them, then started the engine.

It had been too much. Too dark. Andrew had handled all his truths so far, but even Neil could understand if he didn’t want this one.
”I’m sorry,” Neil said quietly. He thought Andrew wouldn’t hear him over the engine, but his neck snapped Neil’s way so fast Neil thought he must have pulled something.

”Even you can’t be stupid enough to apologize for what your torturer has done,” Andrew said, and steered the boat back towards the shore.

Neil pushed his wet hair out of his face and felt his lips pull into a small smile.

Andrew had brought dry clothes for the evening; Neil had not. So naturally they went back to Neil’s cabin to get changed.

Andrew insisted he needed a shower. Neil was still a little weary of the water but he kept his face out of the spray and it was nice to rinse the saltwater off. It was even more nice when Andrew came in, still wearing his swim shorts, and got down on his knees for Neil.

They ended up on the bed. Over the covers and still a little wet from the shower, and Andrew removed the last piece of clothing between them. Neil’s hands were locked in Andrew’s hair when they pressed their bodies together. Their breaths mixed. Their lips crashed. Their legs tangled. It was the two of them, but in some moments Neil thought they were one.

After, Neil wanted nothing more than to stay in bed for the rest of the day. But they still had the parade to go to. Fireworks to watch. Andrew had slipped away from the bed and Neil found him sitting on the front steps, cigarette between his kiss-swollen lips. Neil reached for the cigarette. Andrew took his hand instead.

The foxes and especially Nicky looked a little drawn back when they met up for the parade, but Neil was not one to hold grudges and things loosened up quickly. Nicky was also drunk, which made things easier for Neil.

Allison hooked one arm through Neil’s and one through Renee’s and they walked to find a spot along the main street. Palmetto was small, but today it felt bigger somehow. Old muscle cars drove in slow procession while the national anthem played and people were waving flags at them. It was a strange reiteration of the pride parade, with rainbows exchanged for the US flag and the crowd a little more white, a little more nuclear families. Still, it must have been a few thousand people there.

Neil, still in arm with Allison, watched as Andrew dodged Nicky’s flailing arms. Aaron did his best to keep Nicky from wandering off. Kevin and Matt, towering over the rest of them, pointed out things in the parade no one (apart from maybe Allison, and Nicky if he had been looking) could see.

Between two shoulders and across the street, Neil saw his father.

He blinked. Shook his head to get the image to unstick. But there he was. Not a hallucination. Auburn hair and piercing eyes and a slow, dangerous smile split his face as he met Neil’s eyes.

In between one breath and the next, the crowd turned into a stampede.

Over the noise, Matt shouted, ”A firework went off in the crowd!”

It couldn’t be a coincidence.

Nathan Wesninski had found his son.

Neil was jostled from side to side as people pushed and shoved and ran. He lost sight of Dan, Renee and Allison immediately, all he saw was the back of Matt’s head disappearing.

”Neil!” Nicky yelled. Andrew grabbed Neil’s hand and forced his fingers to lock on his belt. Neil held on. He watched how Andrew had death grips on both Aaron and Nicky’s shirts and pushed them in front of him through the crowd. Nicky was holding on to Kevin with both arms. Kevin, a little taller, bulldozed his way forwards.

Neil saw all of them and wondered if it was the last time he would. To his left, a flash of red lipstick and a familiar smile.

To his right, blue eyes were closing in.

Using his grip on Andrew’s belt Neil dragged himself closer, for just one moment he resisted the push and pull of all the bodies around them.

His got his lips so close to Andrew’s ear they almost touched. ”I’m sorry. Don’t try to find me,” he said, then he let go and let the crowd take him away.

In only seconds, Lola had him.

”Hello, junior,” she sneered, and the sharp point that dug into his back had to be a knife. ”There’s someone who is desperate to see you.”

She slipped easily through the crowd even while dragging Neil along.

Nathan reached them and his fingers were bruising around Neil’s arm. ”Running was a mistake,” he said. ”It’ll cost you dearly.”

Neil’s heart plummeted. They were taking him to Andrew’s shop. The door was locked. Lola smashed a window pane with the handle of the knife and they were inside.

Nathan threw Neil to the floor.

He wasn’t ready to die.

He scrambled for a foothold. Nathan stepped down on his throat and forced him into the floor while Lola grabbed his wrists. He would recognize the sound and feel of handcuffs anywhere. He was stuck, and still he tried to get his hands free. The metal dug into his skin.

”She saw you come in here,” Nathan said. He removed his foot and twisted his fingers into Neil’s hair. ”Lola saw you. Smiling. Being happy. After you ran from me. We can’t have that, can we?”

Lola laughed. Then, slow, sharp pain down his arm. A knife? The same pain again. Something warm spread along Neil’s arms.

Nathan tightened his grip and Neil felt some hair come loose. A knife in his father’s hand. Nathan carved into Neil’s face like the butcher he was.

Neil screamed.

Outside, fireworks turned the town into a battlefield.

”I’m going to skin you, one small piece at a time,” Nathan said. He cut Neil’s shirt open and tore it off. It got stuck somewhere around the handcuffs by Neil’s wrists. Lola cut it off without caring if her knife hit fabric or skin, Neil thought she would cut his fingers off. The knife went deep into his palm.

”Oops,” Lola laughed.

”Lola, get the gasoline.”

She laughed some more.

Nathan carved into Neil’s chest while Lola, still laughing, ran along the rows of shelves in the shop with a gasoline tank in hand. She sprayed it everywhere. The smell was sharp in Neil’s lungs. It made him woozy. Or maybe blood loss was the cause of that.

The gasoline ran in little rivers on the floor, pooling underneath Neil, soaking into his clothes and skin.

”You and your mother ran from me,” Nathan said. As if to justify his actions. As if Neil didn’t already know what was going to happen. ”I think I’ll make sure you never run again.”

Nathan pulled Neil’s shoes off and rested the tip of his knife right on his Achille’s tendon. ”Think you can recover from this?” He teased the skin, only making a shallow cut before he moved to the side and dug deeper into the soft spot between tendon and bone. Getting ready to rip the tendon from the inside.

Neil kicked out with his other leg. Hard. He hit Nathan’s hand and knocked the knife away. He kicked again. Nathan grabbed both his ankles and he was stronger, bigger, Neil was no match. Still, he kept fighting. Lola jumped on him and put her entire weight on his chest, a knee on his throat. Neil desperately pulled on the handcuffs. He was going to die. They were going to kill him.

He twisted his hands, got a grip on his own thumb and forced the joint past its breaking point. Something cracked. It made his hand narrow enough he could slip the handcuff off. With his one good hand he punched Lola in the throat. While she gagged he used the last of his strength to wrench free from Nathan’s grip. They reached for the knife at the same time.

Neil was faster. He lashed out and cut a perfect line across Nathan Wesninski’s throat.

Lola screamed as Nathan hit the floor.

The shop exploded in colors as a firework crashed through a window.

Neil was drenched in gasoline. The fire was instant and unforgiving. It burned in his chest. His eyes watered. Neil lost Lola in the madness of it. He had to get out. Even as he was burning he made himself move. He found the door. Pushed. Pushed. Turned the jammed handle. It wouldn’t open for him. The window panes in the door were small. The window next to the door was bigger. Neil grabbed the first object he could reach - an exy stick - and smashed it into the window. It shattered badly but Neil would survive a few more cuts. He wouldn’t survive another second of the fire.

He got to his feet and climbed out, then he staggered away from the burning building down to the beach. His skin was burning and bleeding and he collapsed at the water’s edge and let the waves rock his body back and forth.

Chapter 10: Andrew

Notes:

I had so much fun reading your reactions to the last chapter! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and here we gooooo xx

I’m sorry. Don’t try to find me.

Andrew was going to kill him. He was going to find him, then he was going to kill him.

Neil disappeared so quickly it was as if he had never been there at all. Andrew got NickyAaronKevin to the bar, made them stay there with an extensive threat, then went back out to look for Neil. He was nearly run over twice. With his face in elbow-height he got more than one elbow to the face. Neil was gone, gone, gone. Rogue fireworks kept going off. No more than ten or fifteen minutes of desperate searching could have passed when he saw one that went straight for the shop. He ran. He ran past the bar. Aaron shouted at him. He didn’t know if they followed him or not.

He came to a sliding stop when the heat became too much. There was no saving the shop, in the few minutes it took for Andrew to reach it, the roof had already collapsed.

”Jesus christ, Minyard, get away from there.” Wymack was wise enough not to grab him, but he herded Andrew away to a safe distance. ”What the fuck happened?”

”We lost Neil,” Kevin said. From the pier, Matt, Dan, Allison and Renee came running. Andrew couldn’t just stand there when Neil was-

”Where was the last place you saw him?” Wymack asked. ”Can you call him?”

”He doesn’t have a phone,” Matt said.

Even if he did, Andrew knew there was no point calling Neil. He was probably-

Andrew didn’t think he had it in him to be surprised, and yet Nicky surprised him by saying, ”Oh my god. That woman- Andrew, you remember her? She came to the restaurant. She was asking about him. Oh my god, what if she’s the one he was running from?”

Andrew’s mind did a double take. Neil told Nicky he was running from someone?

”Don’t look at me like that, Andrew,” Nicky said. ”It was not that difficult to figure out.”

”We all knew,” Renee said. ”But he told you, Andrew, didn’t he?”

Slowly, Andrew nodded. He felt like he was betraying Neil by doing it.

Don’t try to find me.

”That kid is a walking danger sign,” Wymack grunted.

So what. So what. So what. None of this was going to help them find Neil.

”Spread out,” Dan said. ”We look for him together. Wymack, will you call the police?”

Andrew wanted to tell Wymack not to, but he didn’t know how.

The foxes, Kevin, Aaron and Nicky all went off in pairs. Only Andrew stayed. The madness of the crowd had calmed down. Sirens screamed in the night, police officers were already swarming where the fireworks had gone off. The flames cracked as his shop slowly turned to ash. It was his home, but it was only a place. He could not care about something as insignificant as a building when Neil was gone. 

Andrew looked at the beach. The pier. The place where he first met Neil.

He swore his heart stopped.

Some dark shape was being pulled away by the tide, a pile of trash, clothes, some driftwood. Andrew knew what it was. He saw how everyone walked away from him and didn’t know how to find his voice.

”Andrew?” Wymack was still there. Phone pressed to his ear.

Andrew tugged at Wymack’s shirt to get him to follow, then ran towards the water. He ran across the sand. He waded in, water up to his knees, waves trying to drag him down. He reached the shape and it turned into Neil, almost unrecognizable with blood and burns and soot. His chest was bare, scars hidden under fresh blood. His eyes were closed. Andrew got his arms under him and he was so heavy with his body slack and wet. A wave almost knocked Andrew off his feet, he staggered to keep his balance. Neil’s head lolled. Andrew got it above the water’s surface and Neil’s face was cold against his neck.

”Help me!” he yelled as the water weighed him down. Cursing and splashes and Wymack was there. Together they got Neil’s body to the shore.

”Come on, kid,” Wymack muttered as he tried to force life back into the broken boy between them. Wymack’s hands were red with blood as he pushedpushedpushed. Through the fog that was Andrew’s mind, he watched as Wymack put his mouth to Neil’s and how he made Neil’s chest rise.

Then Neil seized and he started coughing, water spluttering from his lips and Wymack turned him on his side to let gravity help.

”Andrew, hold him up,” Wymack said. Andrew put his hands on Neil’s ruined chest and felt his heart beat through the cold skin. Wymack had the phone to his ear again. His other hand cradled Neil’s head in a way that made something painful lodge itself in Andrew’s throat.

”An ambulance is coming. Do I need to restrain you or will you behave?” Wymack said. Andrew looked at Neil’s face. Deep wounds were cut mercilessly into his cheeks. His left side, both arm and chest and back, was burned black. He nodded to Wymack. For once, the hospital sounded like a good idea.

The ambulance came. Andrew got out of their way but grabbed the hem of Neil’s jeans and did not let go. They put Neil on a stretcher and carried him to the street, and Andrew did not let go.

”We need to load him up,” one of the EMT’s said.

”Take them both,” he heard Wymack say. ”Trust me. It will be easier for all of us.”

Andrew climbed into the ambulance after Neil and did not let go.