'Cause your presence still lingers here

by Agender_alex

Summary:

The batfamily's reactions to Tim's fate in The Art of You Forgetting Who I Used To Be
You don't have to read the previous fic, but i do highly recommend it. This is part of a series based on an AU I found on TikTok.

Chapter 1: Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans (Bruce Wayne)

Bruce Wayne was the first person to notice the Tim shaped hole in Gotham. He had just recently recovered enough for public appearances, and he’d been swarmed with meeting the press and Wayne Enterprises. Tim had taken care of the company for Bruce while he was gone, but Bruce had insisted on taking back the responsibility once he’d recovered enough. Bruce hadn’t wanted to force a seventeen-year-old to do the work of a CEO, but he also knew that of his children, Tim could handle it the best. 

Bruce was suspicious when Tim hadn’t patrolled in a while, but whenever he asked Dick, who was still Batman until Dr. Thompkins gave him the all clear, he just said Tim was fine. Bruce could see hints of guilt in his oldest son’s eyes, but he chalked that up to how Dick had accidentally driven Tim from Gotham while Bruce was missing. The cave was easy enough to sneak into for the original Batman, and the Batcomputer’s security was easy too. Bruce’s credentials hadn’t been removed, so he could just log into the computer. He scrolled through the messages on the computer, trying to find the last time anyone contacted Tim, only to find a message from the watchtower that mentioned Tim. Bruce double clicked the message, and as he read it, his blood froze. Tim had been accused of selling information to the public, and as punishment had his memory erased. 

Bruce feels himself start to cry; his son was accused of something this serious, and if the confirmation message from Dick was real, then none of his family had tried to defend him. The message, and Dick’s reply, were over a month old, which meant Tim was already gone. His son was gone, and none of his friends had thought to talk to him about it. His son had actively hidden this from him. Bruce wonders if anyone else in the family knew, if they all hid this from him. Bruce feels his grief burn in the Tim shaped hole in his chest. It feels oh so similar to how his grief over Jason’s death burned, and for once Bruce was grateful that he hadn’t been cleared to be Batman yet. He knew that if he could, he’d revert back to the version of himself from before Tim became Robin, from when he was grieving Jason. 

Bruce could hear his children entering the cave, but he couldn’t  find it in himself to care. The son who saved him was gone, and at least one of his other children had hidden it from him. He kept staring at the message as Dick and Damian’s voices filtered down from the stairs. Dick was in the middle of explaining that night’s patrol route to Damian when he saw what Bruce was staring at and froze, his voice faltering. “Bruce, what are you looking at?” Bruce can tell that Dick was trying to defuse the situation because his son was using the voice reserved for trying to talk someone down from a ledge. 

 

“You know exactly what I’m looking at,” Bruce’s voice was low and gravelly. It was a voice full of anger and grief. Bruce turned to see Dick’s face fall while Damian’s looked confused. He watched Dick send Damian back upstairs, watched him cancel patrol for the night as guilt weighed down his oldest child’s shoulders. Bruce felt a little bad, Dick had been under enormous amounts of stress while he was gone, but Bruce needed answers. “Who else knows Dick?” His voice is still low, still filled with fury as he demanded answers from the son in front of him. 

 

Dick looks away, and Bruce can tell his son is very conflicted. It takes a while for Dick to speak, but eventually he looks up and says,” Just me. I didn't tell anyone else.” Bruce feels his blood boil as he realizes that none of his other children know what’s happened to Tim. He glares at Dick before his son looks at him, tears brimming his eyes as he pleads,” You don’t understand, every lead we found points to Tim having been the leak. I looked into it myself, and so did the others. No one wanted to think Tim would do this, but all the evidence pointed to him. Clark even told me that he didn't deny it when they took him in,”

 

Bruce grits his teeth and growls,” But you know your brother wouldn’t do that, you know people can be framed,” Bruce watches Dick fall apart, anger and grief overtaking his oldest son as he snaps,” You don’t know what Tim was like after you died. He went off the rails, yes he was right about you still being alive, but he was still unstable. He tried to clone Conner, he worked with Ra’s, and he barely talked to people about the missions and cases he was taking on. Hell he lost his spleen and didn’t tell anyone until he got caught taking antibiotics.”

 

Dick’s face is red and his chest is heaving when he finishes. Bruce distantly wonders how long Dick had been holding that in. He watches Dick storm off, leaving Bruce alone to wonder where Tim could be. Bruce closes his eyes for a moment before getting up to get some coffee so he can start searching for his son.

Chapter 2: You say forget but I'll remind you. (Dick Grayson)

Summary:

Its Dick's turn, and we finally get some insight to why he agreed to let them wipe Tim's memory, plus a little bit more. Dick isn't getting comfort yet because he doesn't believe he deserves it yet

Dick feels his chest tightening as he locks himself in his room. He slides down the door and sobs into his knees. He fucked up and knew it. He should’ve done more, paid better attention during the League meeting about the situation. He’d been too sleep deprived and distracted by the LOA making moves in Gotham and around Damian to realize what he’d agreed to, and by the time he had, it was too late. Tim had been scheduled to have his memory erased the following day and Dick was sent back to Gotham without being able to see Tim. Superman hadn’t let Dick see Tim, and Dick was five minutes from passing out so he didn't fight it. 

 

Dick could hear someone knocking on his door, calling his name, but he was too tired and upset to respond. His anger had spiked when he screamed at Bruce, deafening a choice that he knew was the wrong one. Eventually whoever is at the door leaves him alone, and Dick manages to drag himself to his bed. Dick buries his face in his bedding, wishing he could fix everything. He cries until his head is pounding and he can’t make anymore tears. He knows his choice, his inaction, led to what was essentially the death of his little brother. Dick blames himself for killing Tim, for this hole in the family that he can’t fix. He knows Bruce probably blames him for what happened to Tim, the others probably will too, the only one who might not hate him after this is Damian, who never really knew Tim anyways. 

 

His phone buzzes with a text from his friends, from the other heroes who signed off on killing his little brother. Dick wants to throw the phone into the wall or out the window, but he knows his therapist would tell him to take a breath and find another outlet for his anger. Dick feels his rage burning his chest, begging him to give in. He realizes he needs to do something so his rage won’t get out of hand, and in what feels like a single blind he’s sitting on the floor of his shower, shivering as ice cold water rains down from the showerhead. The cold water shocks his system long enough for him to calm down. Once Dick knows he won’t explode at the first thing he sees, he dries off and puts on the most comfortable clothes he owns. 

 

Dick decides to check his messages while he curls up under his blankets. His lock screen brings fresh tears as the picture of his parents with Tim and him from Haley’s circus stares back at him. Tim’s blue eyes seem to stare into his soul. The Teen Titan’s group chat has been going off for weeks as his friends are trying to see if he’s okay after news broke about Tim. He goes to ignore it again before Wally texts him personally, asking if he needed anything, space included. Dick replied that space would be good for a bit. He claims it to process everything, but it's actually so he can wallow in his grief alone. 

 

He knows he should reach out to someone. Dick knows that isolating himself wasn’t good, especially since he had major depressive disorder. The room is deathly silent as he curls up with Zitka, pressing the soft fur into his chest. Dick feels a sense of numbness overtake him as the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling stare back at him. He feels disconnected to everything as he starts to dissociate.

 

Dick is still staring at his ceiling when he hears a disembodied giggle, one that makes his blood run cold. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to ignore the taunting giggle that sounds just like his little brother when he’d become Robin. Eventually the giggle becomes words, Tim’s voice taunts,” You really messed up didn't you? Maybe the mantle of Robin really is cursed, after all the two people who came after you basically died. Hell you even drove me out of Gotham to pass the curse to a new kid,”

 

Dick sobs and presses his palms into his eyes, he knows he should call Linda and schedule an appointment if his MDD was bad enough for hallucinations again, but he can’t make himself move as the ghost of his little brother taunts him. Tim’s voice echoes around the room, and Dick is terrified to see what form his mind is giving him. “Open your eyes and face me Big Bird,” Dick can almost feel the breath on his ear and his eyes fly open. Tim’s unmasked face fills Dick’s vision. Dick sobs as he notes the clouded eyes and bloody nose on his little brother’s face. Tim is wearing his original robin suit, green leggings and all. 

 

Dick falls off his bed and he scrambles to get away from the ghost his mind created to torture him. “Please just leave me alone, Tim I’m sorry, just please go away,” Dick’s voice cracks as he sobs and begs, but Tim stays there, sitting cross legged on his bed with a vacant smile. Dick turns his back and desperately searches for the bottle of Zyprexa that Linda had prescribed when he was hallucinating Jason, but he can’t find it. He curls into a ball and cries as Tim’s voice haunts him.

Notes:

and we see what's going on in Dick's mind, its not a fun place right now, hide the discowing suit. Also Damian is next, he might be shortest chapter I write for this fic because 1. I'm not confident in writing him and 2. idk man something about him not liking tim and being young (I just really dont have a plan for the kid rn, feel free to leave suggestions) Comments are always apriciated and I try to respond to comments

Chapter 3: If I implore you, could I be your lamb? (Damian Wayne)

Summary:

Damian discovers Tim's fate and has big feelings

Notes:

Welp I was wrong last chapter, this is longer than Dick's chapter. I don't know what happened, the story just kept flowing

Damian had gone to his room when Richard had told him to go back upstairs. He didn’t understand why Richard wouldn’t want him present while he talked to Father, but Damian was not one to argue when it was clear that the tension in the cave couldn’t handle it. So Damian shut himself in his room and sat at his desk to work on a few sketches of his different pets. He had enough reference material that he doesn’t need to seek out the subjects for the sketches.

 

A few hours pass before someone knocks on his door. Damian responds that the door is unlocked. Father opens the door with a soft but nervous expression, “ Hey buddy, I need to talk to you really quick,” Father’s tone sounded off to Damian, like he had been talking to a small child and not Damian. He nods and Father sits on his bed before gesturing for Damian to join him. Damian cautiously moves to sit next ot his father as he asks,” Father, what is this about? Does it have something to do with why Richard and I are not patrolling tonight?” 

 

His father’s face grew tight as he nods,” It does, but before I get into that I wanted to ask you about Tim,” Damian scoffs at the idea of talking about the former Robin,” Why, Drake is nothing but a burden to this family, in fact I have not had to interact with him on over a month,” Damian glances at his father's face and notices how it tightens again as something akin to pain flashes in his eyes.

 

“Damian, the reason why you're not going on patrol tonight is because something happened to Tim,” Father’s voice is tight and hesitant. Damian instantly assumes that Drake must’ve gotten himself seriously hurt to warrant no patrol for Batman and Robin, but Bruce interrupts him before he can ask any questions,” About a month ago someone accused Tim of selling information to the public, after a vote from the Justice League, it was determined that he would have his memories erased,” Damian feels his heart stop, Memory eraser was a punishment that even his grandfather had avoided using on even the most dangerous criminals in the League of Assassins. It was essentially killing a person while leaving the body and soul intact. It was a barbaric punishment that often drove the recipient mad trying to regain what was lost

 

“Father you must be mistaken, Drake may have been unworthy of being Robin, but even I know that he cares too much about the other heroes to do such a thing, and to receive such an inhumane punishment in return,” Damian shudders as he thinks back to everything he’d done, if the Justice League knew would they too sentence him to a fate like Drake’s. His father must’ve seen more than Damian had wanted him too because he hugs Damian closer and attempts to comfort him. While Father attempts to comfort him, Damian wonders what Richard has to do with this, why he’d reacted so negatively to Father discovering Drake’s fate. 

 

After a while Damian convinces his father that he needed space to process what had happened to Drake. However, Damian had a plan, He needed to see the meeting noted from Drake, no, Timothy’s sentencing. Damian waits until his father goes into his study that’s not connected to the cave to sneak away. He creeps through the clock entrance and down to the computer that’s still open on the message about Timothy’s fate. He clicks through it to find the link to the meeting notes. Damian skims through the notes until he reaches the voting records. His heart stops and his blood runs cold as he sees that Richard had voted in favor of Tim’s fate. Damian frantically closes the notes and shuts down the computer, his heart pounding as he wonders if Richard, someone Damian had considered a second father at one point, could vote to do the same thing to him. ‘Surely,’ Damian thought,’ I would be more fitting for a fate like this than Timothy. If the League knew everything that I’d done for Grandfather, would they hesitate to do the same to me? Would Baba, no, would Grayson hesitate?’ 

 

Damian rushes to hide away from this heartbreaking truth, to hide himself from the fear bubbling in his chest. He glances at the wall of Robin suits, staring at his suit that resides next to Timothy’s. He debates changing into it, but his mind whispers that he was not worthy to bear those colors anymore, whispers that maybe he never was. Damian instead grabs his old LOA uniform, it didn’t really fit him like it was supposed to anymore. He’d grown out of it shortly after Grayson had made him Robin. Damian wonders if Grayson stealing the colors from Timothy had been a sign that Damian was not a true Robin. He’s spoken that thought to Grayson once, He’d shut it down by telling Damian that he was a true Robin since Grayson had created the identity and given it to Damian. Damian wonders if that was the truth or a lie he’d been told to placate his mind. His katana sits in the weapons room, leaning against the wall. The callouses on Damian’s hands found their home on the handle of the blade. It felt both right and wrong to be taking it with him. 

 

Redbird sat in the back corner of the batcave’s garage, waiting for Damian. He was tempted to take his bike, but a different one caught his eye. Timothy’s original Redbird bike, Grayson had forbidden Damian from using it, claiming that Timothy didn’t include enough safety features. He’d later gifted Damian a brand new one, but Damian knew from the different blueprints and yearly vehicle tests that Timothy’s bike far exceeded his own in speed and stealth. The bike sat there in its civilian mode, the once shining black paint had faded to a dull dark greyish color, one Damian could tell would blend in with the Gotham night. The roaring of the engine fills the cave as he races away, leaving the cave deserted as Damian leaves to bring fear to the criminals of Gotham in an attempt to lessen the weight in chest.

Notes:

sorry for taking so long, classes started and the ao3 curse has hit my life like a truck so ive been dealing with some personal stuff, but fear not Jason's chapter is next. Also awe isn't Damian just like his father, going to take out his grief on the criminal's of Gotham

Chapter 4: I've been sleepwalking, too close to the fire (Jason Todd)

Summary:

Here comes Jason, He's mad he's sad and he had both emotional awareness and explosives!

Jason had been reading a book Tim had referenced during their last friendly bout. Jason enjoyed how the kid still went all out during their little sparring matches. He paused to wonder where Tim had been recently, Jason hadn’t seen him around in Gotham, but that didn’t mean much. He’d also hit a rough patch with the rest of the family again because they still thought Jason hated the kid. He hadn’t hated the kid in years, in fact Jason thought they got along pretty well. He talked to the kid every couple of weeks, when he dropped in to make sure the kid was still alive. Tim hadn’t been in the nest when he dropped in yesterday, but Jason chalked it up to Tim hanging out with one of his little friends. 

 

He’d just gotten comfortable when his phone started ringing, Jason groaned as he picked it up. He pauses as he sees that Bruce is calling him. Bruce never really calls Jason unless it’s an emergency so he picks up with a gruff,” Someone better be dead, bleeding, or on fire B,” Jason can hear the hitch in Bruce’s breathing when he says that and Jason’s blood runs cold,” Bruce, please tell me no one is actually dead, that was a joke,” Bruce takes a shuddering breath before he responds,” Something happened to Tim, That’s why I’m calling you. I know you didn’t get along with him but he was still part of our family, so I figured you’d want to know,” Jason feels the walls shrinking in on himself as he desperately asks,” What happened to the Baby Bird?" 

 

Jason feels his world come crashing down as Bruce explains everything, from the accusations against Tim to the fact that Jason’s older brother had voted in favor of erasing Tim’s memory. Jason feels his vision go green as he throws his phone across the room. The pit whispers whatever it can to keep Jason angry as he paces like a caged animal. Eventually Jason grabs his gear and storms out to patrol Crime Alley. He needed to blow off some steam, to let the green encroaching on his vision free on the criminals in the Alley. 

 

His chest was heaving when his vision cleared. He’s standing in the den of a trafficking ring he’d been tracking for months, surrounded by blood and gore. His hand aches as he realizes he’s holding a crowbar and his guns sit untouched in their holsters at his thighs. Blood drips down from his face and hands as Jason grimaces from the feeling. He makes his way home to wash off the blood that he was drenched in. Jason grimaces as he takes off his leather jacket, he could tell it was probably ruined from the blood soaked into the leather. He carefully drops it into an empty laundry basket before he puts the rest of his clothes into a different basket. 

 

Jason rests his forehead on the shower wall as he lets the hot water run down his back. He stares at the reddish water circling the drain as he just stands there. Warm tears drip down his face as he starts to break down. Jason slides down the shower wall and cries into his hands. Guilt and grief threaten to pull Jason back into the pit of green that he’d just left. He hates how he feels, he knows it's not his fault, but Jason can’t help but feel upset at himself for not saving Tim from his fate. There was now a small Red Robin shaped hole in Jason’s life that he hadn’t noticed until he was told there wouldn’t be a small annoying but endearing punk to fill it again. It takes Jason a few minutes to get up and finish his shower. Once he was clean, at least physically, Jason stumbled to his room and threw on the first clean and comfortable clothes he could find before he collapsed into his bed. Jason falls asleep quickly as more silent tears slip down his face. 

 

Jason woke up some time later with a headache from crying, an urge to blow something up, and a phone that would not shut up. He growls as he answers,” What the fuck do you want,” Bruce’s voice seemed to grates on his ears as he panically told Jason that Damian had disappeared. Jason runs a hand down his face as he grunts,” I’ll keep an eye out but I’m busy and the demon brat can handle himself for five minutes, especially if he has his sword,” He hangs up without letting Bruce get another word out. Jason chugs a bottle of water from his fridge before throwing on his backup helmet and some boots. He takes his favorite bike, one Tim had tricked out during a rare time when everyone got along. He stops by some seemingly abandoned warehouses to grab three different duffel bags before he speeds off towards Amusement Millie. The old amusement park had sat abandoned since the Joker’s death, and Jason finally knew what to do about it. He spends the next few hours carefully connecting charges across the park before he also sets up a bunch of fireworks, ones he knew Tim would’ve loved. 

 

He leans back at the edge of the safe zone as he orders a smoothie and pizza. He waits until the pizza guy and just about everyone else in the area is gone before he clicks the detonator. The charges go off in a spectacular fashion before setting off the fireworks. Jason watches them with a cold disinterest. He thought the explosion and fireworks would make him feel better, but it just feels empty without Tim there to jokingly call out scores for the explosions. He leans forwards and puts his head between his knees as a shuddering sob escapes him. Jason wants to scream, to be so angry on Tim’s behalf, but his emotions are too burnt out. Jason knows the anger will come later, after the tears dry up, but he wants the anger now. He wants to have that anger to hide the grief trying to pull him apart. 

 

The sound of a grapple echoes behind him as someone walks up to him. “Todd, why are you up here sniveling like a coward? I though you hated Timo-, Drake,” Jason notes that Damian seemed to try and hide how he’s wanted to call Tim by his first name,” I thought you did too, until B called me freaked out because you ran away and took Tim’s super dangerous and fast bike,” Damian falters until Jason gestures for Damian to sit next to him. Damian sits on the roof next to the lawn chair Jason’d brought from his apartment. Jason stares at the fireworks going off as he sighs,” I haven’t hated Tim in a while. I don’t think I ever really did. I was just mad at Bruce for letting him go out as Robin,” Damian looks up at the sky too,” I thought I hated Timothy in the beginning, but I realized that it wasn’t hate, I was jealous of how secure he seemed in his place in the family,” Jason glances at Damian and he can see the fear and anxiety the kid is trying to hide,” You know Bruce and Dickface wouldn’t let the League do that to you, right?” Damian looks away,” Timothy was beloved in the family, much more than I am. If Grayson can vote to do that to Timothy, then what chance would I have?” 

 

Jason sighed and ran his hand through his hair,” Sometimes things get complicated. I’m still pissed at Goldilocks, but I have a feeling there's more to this than we’re seeing. Damian, trust me, Dick would never let anything like that happen to you. Talk to him if you need to, but you need to understand that you’re just as loved in this family as anyone else.” Damian looks down at the ill-fitting LOA garb that he’d chosen to wear as Jason keeps talking about how Damian doesn't belong in the family. Jason pauses when he sees how conflicted Damian was. He sighs and pats the kid’s head,” Go home, hug Dad, or whatever. Just make it back home. This family can’t handle losing another kid so soon,” Jason watches Damian get up and walk away before firing his grappling hook. Jason sighs and texts Bruce,” Found the kid, Talked to him and sent him home. Let me know when the brat gets back,”

 

Jason leans back in his chair as he watches the last of the fireworks go off. He stares at the dark sky as he considers going home for the first time in years. Sure he’s tried a few times, but he never actually considered going home. He finishes his smoothie and pizza as he closes his eyes for a moment. The warm august air washes over him as he lets a few more tears escape. After a few moments of silence, Jason gets up and packs up his stuff. He stops by his apartment to drop off the bags and chair before he turns around and drives towards Wayne Manor. The anger can come all it wants later, right now what Jason needs is his family, his father.

Notes:

here ya go, my favorite boi! he's like a wet cat to me right now. Next time we go abroad to Hong Kong to our favorite girl Cass!

Notes:

Sorry for slow updates, I'm in college and the semester starts soon so I'm trying to work on this au as much as i can before classes start so this will update slower than the others due to it being multiple chapters compared to the oneshots i planned to post,

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 2 of You'll never get away from the sound of the boy who loved you