what sinks a ship? when another ship has a canon

by Anonymous

Summary:

just a list and drabbles of my Jax and co headcanons! (can you tell who my favorite character is...?)

THIS ISN'T A STORY. if it's 2am and you're scrolling around looking for a banger fic, don't look at me haha i'm just chilling

I will elaborate on half of the headcanons and the other half i will just chuck down. Don’t ask lol

Notes:

I haven't obsessively combed through all of Gooseworx's posts and all of those YouTube theory videos, so there's no doubt something doesn't match up to their canon but it's fine lmao i'm just having fun

i would just put this in my notes app except... whenever i want to write a fic, i always do research on ao3 for headcannons and characterization i can 'borrow'.... so that's what this is. its just in case someone actually reads this, finds a headcanon of mine they actually really like, and steal it haha.

a lot of these aren't my headcanons, just what i think about them.

this is going to change a LOT, as i keep ending up on the fucking floor contemplating about silly little traumatized adults who have been trapped in an eternal circus :) so stay tuned i guess!

Chapter 1: Jax

Jax is a teenager- or was one, when he got trapped

Why do I love this idea? Because, though I'm an avid Jax supporter, he's a piece of shit. I know (and love) that he's got trauma, but this is literally a digital circus where an AI god plays with former-normal adults like they're dolls. They're all psychologically damaged, ALL OF THEM, but yet Jax is the only one who is unnecessarily cruel all the time. He constantly justifies his shit attitude with lines like 

"Gangle likes it when I bully her, though"

"At least I chose what to be (the archetypes)"

<paraphrasing here

and he tries to believe that excuses his behaviour, the way a teen might try to find ways to rationalize their own behaviour. And the way he kept trying to put them all in boxes, as voiced aloud by him in episode 6? Ragatha's the kind one, Gangle's the sad one and so on? Only a younger person, really, would do something like that because a person who does that is either trying to find their place in the world (like a teen is) by rationalizing and bringing order to their life, or a middle-aged, rigid adult (which isn't Jax. He canonically isn't middle aged- I'm pretty sure Gooseworx said 22).

Also, probably the most obvious one, he's just hella immature. He's chaotic and silly, never taking others' feelings into account, impulsively causing chaos and becoming defensive when someone accuses him of doing something he 100% did. On a different note, the way he let go of his humanity so fast (or so he says) kinda indicates flexibility and adaptability, like kids are known to have. 

I think he got trapped in the circus when he was an like a 'angsty' phase- the part of life where you're still trying to figure out our place in the world and you feel like you found it and then realize you couldn't have been further from it in like 10 years? Yeah, that part. He, like a lot of teens, thought he had it figured out and adopted a snarky air around people telling him he was pissing them off.

He got trapped in the circus before he could look back at his actions and realize they were wrong, and since the circus is not exactly a place for healthy social and character development and reflection for someone who hadn't even known himself in a world that did make sense, he just got... stuck. He never learned how to fix himself, so now, as an adult, he's internalized his and the others 'roles' to create a better structure he can understand. 

 

Jax stood alone in the main area, stiller than he had been perhaps all day. Pomni had fought him earlier today just a few feet from here, and Jax stared tiredly at the spot. His plastered shit-eating grin that was a better mask than Gangle could ever pull off was gone, replaced with dead, half-closed eyes and a straight mouth. Pomni hated him. He guessed he deserved it, since he asked for it. He stared down at the floor again, mentally marking another tally in his head- day 36 of not going in his room. Caine had darkened the sky for their 'nighttime', but not by much. The AI probably didn't know much about how a real night sky should look.

F$%k, did Jax?

He raised his hand, the one that had shoved Pomni earlier, and stared at it. His name wasn't Jax. He wasn't purple, he wasn't a bunny, and he wasn't an adult. Those were the facts of the world- but this wasn't the world. It was so hard to remember sometimes. Jax could feel it always slipping away, losing a minute of trees and Minecraft and the actual night sky per day. His best friend- did he remember Jax? His girlfriend, the pretty girl Jax had shyly asked out only the month before, did she care? Was he really gone at all, or had time paused there? Jax really didn't know, and with each soulless, horrifying day of fighting and isolation, he found himself not caring more and more. He didn't know how long it had been, but he knew it had been years. Mr. Perry's class was gone to him. Alyssa Laura he couldn't remember had moved on, and Riley, his best friend, probably didn't remember him. 

No, no, no, no, no, Riley had been with him, right?

Jax grabbed his head in his hands, frustration speeding his heart and breath. He just couldn't remember, just couldn't....

No, Riley had played the game with him, this game. Had Riley won? Ribbit hadn't ever told him Jax's real name, which was annoying. If Jax couldn't remember, RilRibbit should have told him, right? But why? Ribbit didn't know his real name, because Jax didn't know it himself. Because Riley hadn't told him? But...

No, Jax. Ribbit was dead. 'Abstracted', whatever- he wasn't coming back. And Riley? Jax couldn't remember what had happened out in the real world that day, but he did know something bad had happened to Riley, and Jax knew Ribbit's real name. 

This was why it was easier to just forget. Names got jumbled up. People got forgotten. It was just easier to accept his current reality than to fight to remember- or fail to remember.

Jax stared out the fake window, watching the fake sky shine fake light onto a fake floor. Sometimes, he forgot he was trapped. Sometimes, he forgot this hadn't been his reality his whole life, and once upon a time he could do anything he wanted, anytime he wanted. But forgetting wasn't the hard part- in fact, it was easy to forget.

It was remembering that was slowly crushing him.

<quick drabble to illustrate how young Jax is and how much he really struggles. Well, okay. Next one!

 

 

Jax went through traumatic events before he joined the circus 

I use blunt terminology, but please keep in mind I mean absolutely nothing by it but what I say. This not being a story, tactfully dancing around Jax’s issues is not something I’ll do- I’m just yapping. Thank you :)

Hear me out on this one. I don’t think his trauma manifests itself in such a blatant way (nearly drowning -> fear of water, mugged in the dark -> fear of being alone/fear of the dark type stuff), but in a way that kinda ingrains it into his personality.  So we all know Jax is fucked up, and a part of that is definitely due to the circus- the, yknow, psychological and emotional torture they go through, and also Ribbit’s (canonically someone of relevance/importance to Jax, in case you’re not as chronically online as me and don’t know who he is) fate. But let me point out some behaviours that show Jax has more trauma than just the circus.

Despite talking almost constantly, we don’t learn much from him. He deflects the personal question in the bar by reciting the plot of breaking bad and swaggering around.

(Side note- I don’t believe in the theory of Jax being an NPC. It may prove to be correct in the future and I can see where those people are coming from, but this is all under the assumption (sorry, Ming) that Jax is a real human who got trapped, like everyone else)

He also dances around the question of what happens to him when he holds his breath- it seems like another silly detail, another ‘lol, of course he wouldn’t tell them’ moment, but I don’t think it’s that’s simple. Not telling the gang even the most basic facts about himself (not even himself, just his avatar), he creates ironclad boundaries he enforces with cruelty and humour, distracting them from the fact they really don’t know who he is. 

The gang knows who Ribbit was, and they know that about Jax. However, when Pomni arrives, she doesn’t know this rather vital piece of information about him because he doesn’t tell her. He actively avoids telling her or talking about it, and yes, this could be vulnerable grief (a lot of people in real life try to avoid talking about someone who has passed for fear of pain) but it could also be just habit. Everyone knows as little about him as possible.

So that’s three- pretending to be Walter White (main character in Breaking bad), deflecting the question of what happens when he holds his breath, and refusing to talk about Ribbit. He is reserved, to say in the least, while creating the illusion of being open by talking all the time. So what kind of trauma causes being closed up? My current theory (as well as a lot of other people’s) was that he had shitty parents. I may or may not elaborate on this later.

I know i’m saying the most obvious stuff, but LET ME BE EXCITED OKAY

Notes:

since this is the Jax chapter, i will just be putting all my Jax headcanons on here. next chapter could be Caine or Ragatha or someone, and the next would be someone else... you get it lol.

Also, I know this is weird, but I joined this fandom a week ago. I was immediately hungry for episode 7 and then realized there are huge gaps between episodes, episode 6 JUST came out around 2 days before I started watching the show, so my tiny amount of patience is cooked.

Chapter 2: Ribbit

Summary:

all of my Ribbit headcanons!

Ribbit was not mean or cruel

I know there's a popular headcanon out there that Ribbit was a mean person and he and Jax were partners in causing misery to everyone else, but I don't think this is true (or I don't headcanon it as true). I think they were definitely mischievous together, but in a Fred and George way. 

 

Ribbit and Jax knew each other in real life

I know this is heavily implied in my other headcanon and fics, but I feel the need to say it here as well. Since you already know I headcanon Jax as a teenager, it makes sense for Ribbit to be one too. Let's review the facts:

- Jax cared deeply about Ribbit

- He hates the mention of him at all

- Ribbit is abstracted

- His door picture depicts a smiling face, not sad or bored (like Pomni's and Zooble's, respectively)

There is a lot of headcanons and fics and theories, maybe some we all just naturally accept as canon, but those are the facts; everything we know from the show. Ribbit's picture looks genuinely happy, and that's why the Ribbit was an awful person fics don't sit right with me. We all know what Jax is like, right? His picture has a wide smile and narrowed eyes, which to me kinda spells out mischief and the kind of guy who loves to prank others. So if Ribbit is smiling, happy (like Gangle's picture) I think he'd be like that in real life. I don't think Jax was always like that to the rest of the circus- Ragatha's comments about 'failing him' make me think that. If jax wasn't always so broken, it makes sense he'd hang out with a guy like Ribbit.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of A ₛₜᵣᵢₙ𝑔 ₒᵳ ₑᵥₑₙₜₛ ᵢₙ ₜₕₑ 𝔀ₒₙ𝓭ₑᵣᵳᵤₗ, ₛₚₗₑₙ𝓭ᵢ𝓭, ₐₘₐ𝆎ᵢₙ𝑔 ᴅᵢ𝑔ᵢₜₐₗ ʗᵢᵣ𝓬ᵤₛ