Chapter Text
(December, 1974)
Sirius was supposed to leave for the Potters’ the day after Christmas, and frankly- he couldn’t wait to get away. Yet, He hated leaving Regulus there. Over the past two years, they had had a couple big fights, yet they would eventually put down their differences, and just stick to avoiding speaking about politics, or their parents, or their friends, or.. Nowadays they stuck to chess.
Sirius could practically feel the war creeping up on them, and he knew what their parents wanted him to do. He needed to talk to Regulus. He needed his brother.
“Regulus?” Sirius started speaking instead of focusing on protecting his king.
“Siri?”
“I’m going to James’ tomorrow. I’ll probably spend most of the summer there as well.”
“Oh Okay,” He said carelessly, yet stretching out the “Kay” like he did when he was upset.
“I need to be frank with you about this. The war is getting closer and closer, and I already know what our parents will be expecting of me, and I will refuse.”
“Okay. Take that up with father then.”
Sirius was so exhausted of his monotone voice.
“Regulus! Écoute-moi! Je ne sais pas si je serai à la maison encore longtemps,” (Regulus! Listen to me! I don’t know if I will be home much longer.) He snapped.
“So then go! I can’t exactly tell my brother with scars on his legs born out of his own stubbornness to stay in this environment, can I? What are you doing Sirius, trying to rub it in?” That was the most emotion Sirius had gotten out of him in forever.
“Reggie…” He lowered his voice this time, “I’m telling you this because I don’t want to be away from you…please come with me when the time is right.” The chess game from just a few minutes ago was totally disregarded now, both boys totally forgetting about it.
“You know I couldn’t, Sirius.”
“Please.”
Silence. Sirius was getting desperate. “At least, Stay out of the war, please. If you can’t come with me, please take a neutral stance. If you fight for Voldemort, you will lose everything. Please, I want you to be safe. I can’t just leave you here, if I don’t know that you will be okay.”
His brother sighed. He looked decades older than he did just two years ago.
“Okay. I won’t let you down. I promise.”
“Thank you.” And Sirius, ever naive and desperate, believed him. “And can we keep up our chess games throughout the school year? I’m really improving my skills,” He added, instead of saying, “I need you in my life.”
“Fine.”
(April, 1977)
Sirius was sitting on the bench of the astronomy tower, his brother accompanying him. They were halfway through a game of chess when Regulus spoke up.
“Sirius?”
“Reggie?” Sirius was afraid, Regulus almost never spoke during their matches.
“Mother and father have been speaking to me about my responsibilities in the war. A lot more than expected since I’m now the heir as well.”
“Yeah,” Sirius replied quietly, in a sad tone he couldn’t mask. He was getting more and more worried about the war, it becoming almost unavoidable, even at Hogwarts.
“I need to be frank with you about this. The war is getting closer and closer, and there’s a lot of expectations on my shoulder, plenty of people trying to get in touch with me.”
Sirius knew where this was going, but no- no, Regulus wouldn’t do that.
“Okay. I’m sure you’ll be able to take that up with our parents then.”
“Sirius! Je ne peux pas être à vos côtés plus longtemps ! Ils m'ont fait prendre la marque sombre!” (Sirius! I can’t be at your side much longer! They made me take the dark mark!) He snapped, desperately.
“So then leave! If you want to destroy yourself that badly, then do it! What can I do? I can’t exactly tell a person to join the order with a skull mark on their arm, can I? What are you doing Regulus? I begged you, and not just you, I begged mother to not do this to you! Be their perfect heir, fine! Why are you trying to rub it in my face?” He was screaming and couldn’t contain all that anger inside him, he felt so intensely betrayed.
“Siri…” Regulus’s voice was low again, “I’m telling you this because I don’t want to be away from you.” The chess game from just a few minutes ago was totally disregarded now, both boys totally forgetting about it.
“You promised me Regulus. You told me you wouldn’t let me down. I thought you were better than this. Didn’t you want better for yourself?”
“You wanted me to be better than this,” Regulus pointed out. “But I never was. I let you down every-time.”
Sirius was at a loss for words. A loss for everything, actually. He just wanted his brother alongside him.