Chapter Text
If there was one thing the ninja knew about Cole Brookstone, it was that he could be their rock in more ways than one.
It wasn’t just because he could be their shield thanks to his element of earth, flawlessly putting himself before them in the heat of battle, but also because they could ground themselves to him whenever they needed help.
Lloyd would rant about how hard it was to be the destined savior that everyone always looked up to, and how he struggled to balance his life both as himself and as the Green Ninja. Cole pitied the poor guy, having to act all grown up at a young age, much like him and Kai. Maybe even too young.
Speaking of the Master of Fire, he would sometimes snuggle closer to Cole in moments when he felt left out or alone. Who would’ve known that a hotheaded person such as him would crave physical touch? Not even the Master of Earth knew, but he wasn’t one to lie; he liked it when Kai’s warmth enveloped him every time he was nestled in his embrace.
Jay, his bestest friend in the world, would find himself rambling about mostly random thoughts over several video games. But during times when things get serious, like when he thinks he’s too annoying for his fellow ninja to comprehend, he’d often cry it out on Cole’s shoulder. Jay was usually the one who’d always repay his best friend for what he had done for him, consoling Cole in turn as a token of his gratitude whenever things went the other way around.
Zane, despite being an intelligent nindroid, still struggled to properly interact with humans, especially when it came to his sense of humor. Normally, it went nowhere, as Cole often had to spend a good five to ten minutes explaining a certain joke, only for the Master of Ice to tilt his head to the side in confusion.
Then there was Nya–the only one who could rival her brother’s temper. Despite her tough, menacing exterior, beneath lay a person haunted by her many failures and the many attempts she had made just to remind others that she was more than just a female ninja. Cole was the third person she would go to when neither Kai's nor Jay’s reassurances were enough.
But one thing, however, was that while the Earth Ninja looked out for them…
…None of them ever found a proper way to do the same for him.
Cole was a very private person. He was one to not open up about his personal life. Everyone only knew the gist of it: his mother died of an illness when he was young, and his father, who always expected him to be a dancer, forced him to be something he did not want to become.
The others knew all too well if their brother was not being himself. They would often see him alone in his room with his sketchbook and headphones to keep him company, or he’d eye something far away whenever they were all in one big conversation.
Whenever they’d ask him if he was okay, the Earth Ninja would mask his feelings with a layer of false reassurances, saying things like “I’m fine,” or “Don’t worry about me,” even though he was not okay at all. Cole always knew he had to be strong for them to the point that he would forget that he also had to be strong for himself.
Jay was the only person he could open up to, but not even his best friend could talk it out of him. When the Master of Lightning would point out how he was not feeling fine, Cole would only lie about it and never ask for more than a hug, something that Jay saw as insufficient to help him.
The Master of Earth barely cried, too. On most occasions, he’d often lock his room and cry in bed, curled up into a ball with his knees brought up to his chest. It was uncommon for another person to see him shed a tear, as he’d wipe them the instant they began spilling out of his eyes.
In the end, they could never shake it out of him. Days would pass, and everything would return to normal. Little did they know, the pain still lingered within their brother–the one who always strove to keep them together.
But for Cole, his cries remained silent and unheard, never wanting anyone to see him in such a pathetic state. On certain nights, he would dream of standing amid a field of lilies, alongside his mother, who would talk to him, saying how she had been watching him from the Departed Realm, and how much she regretted having to leave him at a young age, never to see him grow into the hero he was now. When all was done, the Earth Ninja would wake up, his eyes wet with glistening tears.
-0-0-0-0-0-
One could only imagine the others’ concern for him when he returned to his old ways just two days after the Day of the Departed.
He did not even visit his mom like he always would, and it had been only five days since their return from the Kingdom of Shintaro.
Lloyd wondered if it was just like Master Wu said that going there made their brother feel more connected to the earth, and to his late mother, also hailed as a hero of the mountain.
Jay and Kai joked that he may have developed feelings for Vania, and kept it a secret out of fear of being teased about having a girlfriend.
But that Saturday morning was yet another crack in the stone.
Cole woke up bright and early at 5:30 AM, half an hour before breakfast. Then he quickly changed into his gi and tied his hair into a bun. Not just because the others found it cute that he made his hair that way, but it was easier to train without his bangs getting in the way of his vision.
I really don’t think I should be doing this, but… if it’s one way to make sure I don’t let them down, I guess it works, he thought.
Then he quietly tiptoed to the monastery courtyard, grabbed a training dummy, and practiced several fighting stances, punching and kicking it as though it were an actual foe.
He was so distracted in his self-training that he didn't notice the person who had just stepped into the courtyard.
“...Cole? Why’re you up trainin’ so early again?” they asked in a groggy voice.
The Earth Ninja turned to the door to see a certain Green Ninja, eyes half-awake and a blanket still wrapped around him.
“Oh, uh, hey Lloyd,” he sheepishly greeted.
“Don’t you ‘Hey, Lloyd’ me. You and I both know something’s up when you’re like this.”
Lloyd was right. Out of all the ninja, he and Jay were the ones who always knew if Cole was acting differently. He’d be the first to notice how he trained earlier than they were supposed to, and how he’d spend nights without rest, thinking of worst-case scenarios of what would happen should he mess up. It was always something Lloyd found out even way before he was hit with the Tomorrow’s Tea.
On those days, the Master of Earth would skip meals at a time. As much as the others also want to help their brother, the one who always kept them together with all his strength, they could not.
“What are you talking about? It’s just my new daily routine, you know,” Cole lied.
“I swear if Master Wu gets word of this again, you are soooo in trouble.” The Green Ninja smirked.
Cole sighed as he continued training. “Alright, fine, just give me five minutes and I’ll– AGH, FUCKING HELL!”
He let out a cry of pain as he lost his footing and sprained his right ankle, which made him stumble backwards as he gripped his foot.
“Five more minutes, huh? Sure,” Lloyd joked.
“Ha ha, real funny there,” his brother sarcastically remarked.
The earth elemental felt as though his own powers had betrayed him, as if it were mocking him for his apparent incompetence.
“You think you can stand?”
“Yeah…” he strained as he tried to stand on his good foot. “Yep, I think I can manage… Fuck– ow!”
He fell again as the sensation of stepping on broken glass returned.
“Okay, I might need help,” Cole croaked.
Lloyd hurriedly unfurled himself from his blanket cocoon to help Cole stand, only to come across the fact that Cole was so insanely heavy.
“You know what? Be right back, I’ll call Zane.”
The Earth Ninja only grimaced at the pain as he watched his younger brother disappear into the monastery halls.
Not too long after, he returned, this time with the Master of Ice, who, after a short analysis, eventually assisted Lloyd in carrying Cole back to his room so that the nindroid could try to heal his hurt foot.
“Seriously, it’s only been five days since we got back from Shintaro, and you’re stuck with a sprain like this?” Lloyd asked concernedly. “You really need a break. Master Wu literally told you to get extra rest because you might’ve exhausted yourself too hard with that Spinjitzu Burst, which was insane, by the way.”
“No, I don’t–”
“Yes, you fucking do,” the Green Ninja announced, earning a glare from the Master of Ice before whispering an apology.
They sat him on his bed the moment they entered his bedroom.
“Lloyd, could you get me the bandages and a spare ice pack?” Zane requested, and the blond only nodded before leaving the room. Then he turned to Cole and asked, “Which foot is sprained? May I see it?”
Cole said nothing, only revealing his foot that was now beginning to bruise, the swollen part turning into a shade between red and purple.
Zane inadvertently touched it, which made the other ninja yelp. “Gah, watch it!”
“Apologies. I believe you must remain bedridden for a few days until that ankle is fully healed,” said the nindroid, much to Cole’s chagrin.
Lloyd returned with the bandages and the ice pack as Zane inquired, and the Master of Ice gently wrapped it around the Master of Earth’s foot before filling the pack with ice using his powers and placing it on top. “Does that make it any better?” he asked Cole.
“A bit… I guess?”
“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I may have to cook breakfast,” Zane said as he stood up and headed for the door, Lloyd following not too far behind. “I’ll just have to tell someone to help you.”
“Thanks,” Cole grumbled.
Then he was alone. Sighing, he lay down, still making sure the ice pack was on his foot. Great job, Cole, he sarcastically thought, just when you thought no one would notice, everyone eventually will. Just. Fucking. Amazing. Now what? You literally just gave yourself a one-way ticket to Boring Town!
Not finding any sort of entertainment during his little quarantine, the Earth Ninja grabbed his headphones and scrolled through his phone to find his playlist. Letting the music flow through his brain, he closed his eyes, occasionally humming and singing along to whatever song played. It wasn’t long before he finally felt himself inside his own little world, time slowing down as he began to reminisce about memories he could no longer recreate, especially now that she was no more than a voice that only spoke to him in his dreams.
“...ole… You… ere…?”
Through the music that played, someone’s voice could be heard faintly. At first, it wasn’t that audible until a figure hovered on the edge of his vision, took off one side of his headphones, and yelled “YA HEAR ME NOW, BROOKSTONE?!” in his ear.
Cole flinched at the sudden raised voice. “For the First Master’s sake, what the fuck was that for…?!”
“How’s Mr. I-Sprained-My-Ankle-This-Morning doing?” asked a certain Fire Ninja.
Cole’s face turned pale. Seriously? Someone had to snitch?!
“I’m fine, but did you have to fucking yell in my ear?”
Kai shrugged. “Eh, it was the only way to make you hear me. Anyway, breakfast is ready. Can you walk?”
Taking the ice pack off his bandaged foot, Cole sat up, grimacing when it touched the wooden floor. His legs felt as though they were made of jello, and before he could faceplant on the ground, the Master of Fire quickly slung his brother’s arm around his shoulders and said, “I’ll take that as a no for now.”
“Why’re you helping me…?”
“Cole, you’re literally injured. Why else would I not help you?”
“I’m not a kid anymore. I can handle it,” Cole insisted.
“Yeah, yeah, and you’ll faceplant on the floor? Nah, I won’t let that happen. Just… let us look after you this once, yeah?” Kai looked at him and smiled reassuringly.
The Master of Earth only rolled his eyes.
Of the seven, only the lovebirds had not caught wind of Cole spraining his ankle.
One could only imagine the shock on their faces when they saw Kai supporting him as he limped to the dining room.
“Whoa… You good, Cole?” Jay asked.
Before his best friend could answer, Kai cut him off. “He sprained his ankle this morning.”
“What?!” the Masters of Lightning and Water yelled in disbelief.
“Cole, what were you thinking? You were training early again, weren’t you?”
Cole only nodded. He knew lying wouldn’t work, and neither would staying silent.
“Buddy, I thought we talked about this!” Jay concernedly remarked. “You know what, since forcing it outta you won’t work, just go get your injured ass here and eat.”
Cole sat down beside his best friend, then eyed down on the waffles that were served. Just as he was about to grab a third waffle to put on his plate, a voice in his head decided to give him yet another reality check.
Don’t you think that’s too much? It asked him.
Nya quickly noticed how he returned that waffle. “Why’d you not take it? If you wanna eat three, it’s fine. We won’t judge,” she reassured, a soft smile on her face.
“N-No, it’s fine. You guys can have more,” Cole said.
Zane looked him in the eye. “Cole, your food intake has decreased by 25% since our return. Is something the matter?”
“What Zane said,” Kai joined in. “You’re actually starting to worry us, dude. If Master Wu catches you with that sprained ankle, you’re done for. Are you really okay?”
“I already told you guys. I’m fine,” the earth elemental insisted through gritted teeth.
The lightning elemental scooted closer to him, looked him in the eye, and said, “Really? You and I both know you’re the worst liar here. I know you more than anyone in this room, Cole. Why don’t you just tell us?”
Cole looked away and down at his trembling hands. Sweat had begun to trickle down his face. That voice called out once more.
Come on, Cole. You just gotta admit it to them and that’s it! They’ll help you, alright. Just don’t be a fucking wimp and open it up already!
Kai rested a hand on his shoulder and said, “Cole, come on, just–”
The Black Ninja flinched. “NO…!”
The room fell silent, their eyes gazing at the person who just yelled.
“I-I mean… not now… please,” he stammered.
“Why not? You’re clearly not okay, and you’re not admitting it?”
A frustrated scream escaped Cole’s mouth. “I… I JUST CAN’T! I don’t wanna do it!” he yelled as he stood from his seat.
“Cole,” he heard Zane say. “You have not finished breakfast yet.”
Cole paused, then uttered “I… I lost my appetite,” before limping back to his bedroom.
Everyone else exchanged concerned glances. Of course, they knew Cole refusing to eat was not… him.
The Master of Earth gently slid his bedroom door shut before sitting on his bed, his knees brought up to his chest.
This was the side of him that he wished the others would never see. The Cole that felt so… afraid. Vulnerable. Pathetic. But most of all, weak.
He felt as though he was crumbling as he buried his face in his lap, his tears running freely down his cheeks like waterfalls flowing out of his eyes.
Cole continued to sulk for the next few minutes until someone knocked on his door.
“Hey, Cole…?” They asked. “You all right in there…?”
He didn’t answer. Then came another knock.
“Can I come in?”
He hummed, as if he begged whoever was on the other side of the door to help him carry the burden on his shoulders.
In came a rather worried Jay, who then sat on the edge of his best friend’s bed. “Are you okay…?” he worriedly asked.
Cole only nodded, despite his inner self wanting to say otherwise. I can’t let him see me like this. Who knows what he’ll think of me if I do?
“Have you been crying?”
“N-No,” the Earth Ninja lied.
“Do you… wanna talk about it? I mean, just the two of us?”
His best friend only froze, as steady as the ground itself, before uttering, “I… I dunno… I really wanna but… I feel like something’s stopping me, even if it’s just between us…”
“Then I won’t force it outta you if that’s what you want,” Jay told him before opening his arms. “Alright, c’mere, ya dirt clod.”
As if acting upon instinct, the Master of Earth quickly threw himself into the Master of Lightning’s arms, holding him in an embrace so tight that he seemed not to want Jay to leave his side.
“Promise me you’ll tell me someday?”
“I will,” Cole vowed. “Thanks, by the way…”
“You didn’t need to,” reassured Jay. “I’m your best friend, Cole. You’re stuck with me ‘til we die, after all.” A slight chuckle escaped Cole’s lips as a slight hint of joy glimmered in his hazel brown eyes.
Then Jay left him alone, but not before they did their little fistbump and finger gun gestures they always had as a bro code.
Seeing his best friend was gone, Cole eyed the drawer on his nightstand, clearly labeled with a sign that said “Property of Cole Brookstone. If you’re not Cole, DO NOT OPEN.”
Inside was his personal journal that he had had ever since he was a kid, its entries written in different colors. Any positive one had either orange, green, or anything that had life, while those that weren’t were written in black.
Flicking through its pages, he had found the previous entry he wrote on the Day of the Departed three days before, on the 29th of October. All it said was “I forgot to visit Mom. Oh gosh, she’s gonna be so mad at me…” written in black ink.
Then he took a black pen and wrote…
11/01/20
‘ I’m fine,’ I keep telling them, even when I’m not. Maybe I’m being a little too hard on myself. I shouldn’t be doing this. I know I should tell them the truth about why I’m being like this, but why? Why can’t I do it? I couldn’t even tell Jay! Jay, of all people!
I can’t let them worry about me. They shouldn’t even worry about me. I just want them to be happy, not to make them think that I’m letting them down or something…
…before his hand trembled as tears began to spill out of his eyes once more, some even falling onto the page he was writing on. Sighing glumly, he returned the journal to its place.
Then he looked at the image of his mother. Holding it close, he whispered, “Hey, Mom… I’m sorry I didn’t visit you… I just have too many things going on… I was wondering if you were watching me in Shintaro. How I fought to uphold my promise to you, but… I dunno why I can’t admit it to my friends… They’re counting on me. I can’t look weak in front of them.” He let out a sigh. “Oh, if you were here, you would’ve known what to tell me…”
Her voice made itself heard in his mind, just like it always did in his dreams, as he stood there amid that field of lilies.
“Cole,” Lilly once told her son in her ever-soothing voice. “Your gramps once told me that the earth does not always need to stay strong, for there are times it will break. Don’t be too hard on yourself, my little pebble. After all, you have a nice group of friends to help you keep grounded.”
He held the image close to his chest as he sat on his bed, and pondered on whether or not he should open it up to the other ninja. Sure, his mom’s voice was right, but he felt this sense of fear still lingering. The fear that they’ll doubt his role as the one who always kept them together.
Cole could feel his world collapsing piece by piece, and if there was nothing to be done, he knew it wouldn’t end well.