Work Text:
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The mid-autumn sunlight shone into the windows of Wushanju. The weather was warmer than usual for this time of year, and it was Saturday, so I decided to do a deep cleaning of the shop while I still had the motivation for it.
Xiaoge was out doing his morning training, and Pangzi was probably out hunting down the ingredients for a new traditional dish he'd been wanting to try out.
The quiet sway of the trees and the warmth of the morning made my chest ache with a strong wave of sentimentality, which made me feel good, as it was only when a certain level of life was reached that one could fully enjoy these feelings when they arose.
I was currently dusting a particularly difficult-to-reach spot beneath the shop counter. The wood underneath was old, seemed nearly untouched, and I wondered how long it had been since Wang Meng had done any cleaning in this place himself.
I was hunched over, trying to reach my rag under the old wooden counter, when I heard the click of a board shifting. My fingers brushed against something hard, wedged tightly between the wood.
Frowning in confusion, I tried again and nudged at the object with my fingers. After a couple more nudges, the thing finally came loose. A cloud of dust billowed up in my face, and I coughed, waving it away as I looked down and saw that a small wooden box had tumbled down and landed beside my feet.
Leaning down to sit, I reached for the hand-sized box. It was sealed by a simple puzzle lock. Fortunately, these types of locks were very easy to solve, so naturally, it was no more than a minute before I had the box open.
A note was pasted inside the lid. My breath caught in my throat — it had been years, but I recognized the handwriting immediately. It read:
Just as clever as your uncle, Xiao San-ye!
...
Surely, this was Pan Zi's handwriting.
I was in complete shock as I stared at the open box in my hands. What was this, some kind of sick joke? Had someone placed this here to trick me? I suddenly felt a surge of anger towards whatever cruel person had done this.
It took me a moment to calm myself down before I could examine the thing. The faded wood, withered with age, brought me to realize that maybe this wasn't a prank after all. Furthermore, the contents were…
An envelope?
I took a deep breath, finally getting myself to pick up the envelope and turn it over. There was no writing on it, but I still opened the flap carefully. Inside was a folded piece of paper — a letter.
Could it be…
I unfolded it, my fingers trembling, and began to read.
"Xiao San-ye,
I don't really know the deep reason why I picked up this pen, but my heart was telling me to, and I miss you, so I did.
I couldn't sleep recently, and as I lay there in bed, my thoughts gradually wandered to thinking of you.
Specifically, a memory of you.
I remember once when you were six, you came up to me with tears spilling over, saying that San-ye was busy decoding a map and that you wanted to help.
Apparently, he yelled at you to go out and play, but you were stubborn and refused.
This whole thing got me feeling enthusiastic — this was the first time you'd approached me directly, since, seeing as I'm a big guy with many scars, you seemed to be afraid of me until that moment.
I grew up never knowing my father, and I wanted to be sure you got all the attention you needed. There was also nothing particularly significant I was dealing with at the time, so I decided to play a game of hunt-the-map with you. I drew up maps with easy puzzles and riddles on them, and hid the papers around San-ye's shop.
I will never forget the excited glimmer in your eyes when you found them all and decoded them, which allowed you to discover where and what the treasure was:
Tucked under the shop counter was 200 yuan inside the mouth of a stuffed frog I had quickly purchased at a local souvenir shop.
That glimmer in your eyes was worth the small hassle it took me. I would do anything to see that look again, but since I probably won't be beside you to watch your reaction when and if you find this, just knowing is good enough.
Regarding the puzzle lock — I've never been a very educated man, but I've picked up a thing or two from San-ye over the years. I know the lock won't be difficult for a person as smart as you, but I thought it could still give you some fun.
Xiao San-ye, I want you to know that even if there are times when it feels as if the whole world is against you, there's someone a train ride away that will always love you, will always make sure you're safe, and will always play a game of hunt-the-map with you — Even when I'm a grey old man in a nursing home who does nothing but play mahjong with his buddies.
You're a good person, Xiao San-ye. Never forget that.
I like to believe that, no matter how small, I had a role in raising such a strong-willed, benevolent person. And maybe I only believe that to cheer myself up at times, but we all have to be selfish sometimes, right?
Anyway, I hope this isn't all just the result my emotions being messed up from andropause or something.
No, I'm definitely too young for that. You know, I'm still planning on finding a nice girl and having a few little ones to keep my life busy.
(Wish me luck, I think I'm gonna need it in this small village where the only females are grannies selling dough sticks and soy milk.)
Well, I'd better get going. Treat yourself to something tasty with the money, eh? Hopefully this hiding spot wasn't too obscure, but be sure to give me a call when you do find it, alright? That way, I can make you salt and sugar congee while you let me know how good Pan-ye's treasure-hiding skills are.
Sincerely,
Uncle Pan Zi
P.S.
I found the photo in the pocket of a dusty old jacket while I was packing my things to move. I've been meaning to give it to you, but I haven't had the chance.
—
Warm tears streamed down my cheeks and dripped off my chin as I finished reading the words, sitting on the floor of the shop like a little kid.
My mind was a swirl of thoughts. Going by the small details written here, this must have been around when he retired and moved to the countryside. So, when had he found the chance to hide this here? I still couldn't grasp the fact that I had never found such a special thing, even after so many years. I had the thought that maybe I should clean more often, in case something like this should happen again.
This made me laugh through my tears and cough again.
Damned Pan Zi, making me cry so much even though he's gone.
My hands shook as I looked in the envelope again, finding a neatly folded 200 yuan note and another piece of thicker paper. I unfolded it and found that it was a faded photo. The photo showed a six-year-old me sitting on Pan Zi's shoulders. I was holding the stuffed frog in one hand and a small wad of cash in the other. Both of us were grinning from ear to ear, looking so happy and carefree.
I turned the photo around and saw familiar handwriting in the bottom corner:
"Xiao San-ye finds the treasure, and Uncle Pan gains a new buddy! I had fun, let's do it again sometime soon!"
Seeing the photo brought back the hazy memory of Pan Zi and me playing together, which did nothing to slow the flow of my tears or ease the way I was struggling to breathe properly.
I still had that old stuffed frog toy packed away in a box somewhere.
Holding the photo to my chest as I let my crying continue, I had the fleeting thought that it was a good thing Wang Meng was off today. Otherwise, I would've found myself in a bit of an embarrassing predicament, getting so emotional like this. I realized that this was the first time in years that I'd let myself feel such deep grief over Pan Zi. Maybe it was a good thing, letting my feelings out so openly.
A few moments passed before I heard footsteps coming in the door and a familiar cheerful voice. "Pang-ye has arrived, and bearing the gift of snacks and ingredients for…"
The voice trailed off just as quickly as it began, with Pangzi seeming to have heard me having my breakdown.
"Tianzhen? What happened? Are you okay? Where's Xiaoge'r?"
His voice came softer and more attentive now as he approached me, a hint of worry behind the careful words. Setting down a plastic takeaway bag on the shop counter, he kneeled beside me and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder.
"Tianzhen? Can you tell Pang-ye what's wrong? Why are you sitting here crying your eyes out on the shop floor?"
I swallowed and sniffled, taking a deep breath before attempting to speak. "It's… Pan Zi, he… I just…" I couldn't finish, motioning to the letter and photo at my knee.
Pangzi took a moment and skimmed over the written words before relief and understanding flooded his features.
"I see… Pan Zi sure did leave you quite the special surprise after all these years, didn't he?"
I looked up at him, sniffling and swallowing again before saying miserably, "This jerk… screwing me over, even after death. I just… I miss him so much. I didn't realize how much I've missed him, even after all this time."
Pangzi smiled lightly and leaned forward, circling an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to his chest. "I know… It's hard when you miss someone so much. You have to let yourself feel it, though, even if you think you're being too pathetic."
A few moments passed before I heard the back door open. Xiaoge had seemingly finished training for the day.
A couple of seconds later, he came in silently, though I could see the worry at his brow when he caught sight of the two of us. Pangzi gave him a look and handed Xiaoge the letter, which I watched him read.
When he finished, he kneeled beside us, carefully folding the paper and placing it back into the envelope.
I felt him give a warm squeeze to my leg before he took my hand in his, his expression filled with a gentle quietness.
"Tomorrow," he said softly. "We'll go and visit him."
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