Forget Me, Forget Me Not.

by orphan_account

Summary:

Azure is dead, he watches over his bestfriend, discovering the dark secrets and events, that were hidden away from the children of Spawn.

 

And discovers the truth behind his death.

Left helpless, he cannot do anything.

But watch everything unfold around him.

Notes:

Inspired by Ghost Boys!

I liked that book.

Chapter 1: Prologue

"Azure, pray tell— Do you think Spawn is real?"

 

"Normally I'm the person asking." 

 

"But, yes. I do believe in Spawn, why do you ask, Twotime?"

 

"..."

 

 

And maybe they would've answered, but they didn't. Spawn shall not be questioned, for he is the Lord, for his steadfast love indures forever, one of Twotime's favourite scriptures. 

 

Spawn rules the universe, the creator of all, the one who grants eternal life to those proven worthy, but for a God who loves everyone, why should one have to prove themselves worthy of it's care? 

 

If a God loves everyone, than why should we need to prove ourselves worthy to be loved, worthy of life? If life itself is not a blessing, is it a curse? 

 

Is it a curse to be born? Is that why you must prove yourself worthy of Spawn's grace? To acess the rebirth that awaits.

 

You must sacrifice what you hold close, what you care for most, who you love most.

 

You cannot put a mortal before Spawn.

 

That's blasphemous.

 

 

—

 

Azure stood under a tree, not like he can feel the heat of the sun anyway. Right outside the garden he once visited everyday, now left uncared for, he's been dead for four months now. 

 

An empty coldness, the garden had now been turned into more of a memorial for him, for his worthy sacrifice, some say.

 

A sacrifice he did not sign up for, he couldn't believe the audacity the family had, to praise Twotime for what they had done, to dismiss Azure's death like it was nothing.

 

Azure could see the grief that haunted Twotime, it was what made him feel so conflicted with himself, he was mad at Twotime, but he knew that they were manipulated into doing it, he can't blame them, but he's still mad, he should've known they would've choose Spawn over him.

 

Azure wish he knew what happened, he wished he could go back in time, and see what the church had implemented inside Twotime's head, what drove them to kill him.

 

The thing about being dead? You can spy on people, and see all the lies, all the secrets they hide away, how their 'family' was actually a cult, surprisingly, that didn't shock him as much as he thought it would.

 

Maybe because he already knew?

 

Already knowing might be a stretch, depends, he always had a weird feeling about the family, yet he could never place his finger on it, he knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what it was, and when he tried to express his thought's, people looked at him like he was crazy!

 

Naturally, he attempted to sweep it under the rug, yet, when he noticed how weird Twotime was starting to act around him, that's when his suspicion flared up again, It's akin to telling the truth, yet nobody believing you.

 

It drove him crazy, not to say Azure didn't believe in Spawn, he was just more curious, a lot more than any other ordinary believer, he knew he probably drove his teacher, and the higher up's CRAZY with the amount of questions he asked them, some that couldn't even be answered by mortals themselves, he never understood how people can just.. Believe, and not ask questions, do they not get curious? Or maybe they do, and just hide it, so they don't come across as rude, but Azure thought that was bullshit, is it not normal to question your own beliefs? You cannot just blindly believe in something, that's dangerous if put into the wrong hands.

 

Azure was snapped out of his thought, when he saw his bestfriend, heading to the garden, it's been a while since they last visited, he knew they were trying to forget, to let go.

 

Can he even call them his bestfriend anymore? What are they now? It's complicated, Azure can't pinpoint how he feels towards Twotime, yet, deep in his heart, he feels... Resentment.

 

No good.

 

Twotime looks at Azure's grave, the garden had stopped being taken care of, a bit disrespectful to their eyes, they felt bad, Azure would wan't the garden taken care of, but everything has long died out, and run dry. 

 

They're so selfish, huh? The least they could've done was taken care of the garden in his honor, but they couldn't even do something as simple as that, he has every right to hate them, and they knew, better than anyone, that no amount of apology could fix what has already been done.

 

Twotime looks different, to the average eye, they look normal, but to those who really knew them, they look exhausted, tired, Azure noticed the intense glare, the tense of their jaw, their hunched shoulders— Everything.

 

They were a mess.

 

"Running away from your problems won't help you." Azure said, he knew they couldn't hear him, yet alone see him, his words fell on deaf ears, he felt like a bit of a hypocrite, does he have the right to say that? Afterall, who is he to talk about running away from problems?

 

Twotime scrambled inside their pocket, leaving a small nightshade next to his grave, it's his favourite, but they were carrying such a dangerous flower around so carelessly.. He hoped they knew better, and would thoroughly wash their hands after, or try not to touch any part of their face. Ah, why does he care? 

 

Twotime wasn't directly doing anything, they were just looking at his grave, deep in thought, he wished he could read their mind, knowing what was going on in that head of theirs, a sanity long gone.

 

The church bells ring, Twotime snaps out of their long thought, ears twitched at the sound, they make their way back to the church, as if some sort of robot, programmed to move with each step, it looks calculated, like they've practiced every step, every moment, as if they knew somebody was watching, weird.

 

Azure was picking up on their weird habits, ever since his death, ever since they killed him. Azure remembered it.

 

Well, not every detail, but the core, he remembers being knocked out in a field of nightshade, the next thing he knew, he was dead, he remembered seeing the sight of his own dead body, the dagger had been pierced through his chest, destroying the picture he had of him and Twotime in the process, It's been four months, already? 

 

Twotime was trying so hard to forget, to forget what they had done, he could've sworn they snapped a glance at him, eyes locking, he saw their manic gaze change, how it softened with sadness, a scent of longing—

 

There he goes, thinking too deeply into it, he's dead, they can't see him, yet, sometimes, he wished they could, he wanted to shake some sense into them, with some things the peers make them do? Twotime is like a doll, running around after everyone, trying to distract themselves, yet burning themselves out in the process? That struck close to home, he knew what that felt like, they were practically killing themselves, slowly. 

 

Yet why? Why does it hurt him? Why does it tug on his heartstrings, watching his murderer get worse? Shouldn't he be happy, or celebrate? Yet, he didn't, he couldn't.

 

They were pitful, and he pitied them.

Chapter 2: Seen A Ghost

Summary:

Twotime reflects on their actions, their belief, something unusual for somebody like them.

They questioned Spawn.

Blasphemous, yet, would it matter?

Notes:

Twotime isn't exactly talkative at all here.

Long chapter next, might take longer.

Four months

 

—

 

I feel like I've been losing my mind, losing myself, and I'm suprised how far I've made it, how I haven't succumbed yet, but alas..

 

All good things must come to an end.

 

Twotime's efforts do not matter, it does not make a difference, they will still remember him, no matter what, their desperate attempts to forget, to move on, to unsee.

 

It all proves futile, and maybe— No, certainly it's Twotime's fault, letting Azure die, then have the audacity to act helpless, like they didn't have the opportunity to save him, but they didn't, they were selfish, and deserved this grief.

 

Twotime looked in the mirror, their body did not feel as if it were their own, they felt like they had possessed someone, it had been a while since they had looked at themselves in a mirror, even when bathing, or showering, they avoided it, time to time they'd look down, and see the unfavorable feminine features they were cursed with, ah, blasphemous they felt, to deny the body that Spawn had blessed them with, yet, it was something they didn't feel comfortable in, and when they finally felt good about themselves?

 

They would go and ruin it again.

 

By the slashes, scars that panted their bare body, some scarred, some fresh, it burnt, it felt like hell, feeling the water seep into cuts as they bathed, sure, it was healing them, but Twotime couldn't help but wince, recently they had stopped their antics after Azure's death, yet, it wasn't a good thing.

 

They stopped because of laziness, the burden of cleaning themselves up after, this is the first time they're experiencing that pain again, clean for four months, that's a pretty long time, maybe if they weren't so dumb, weren't so stupid, they would have someone besides them who would praise them for it, someone who used to take care of them..

 

Dead, and buried.

 

They had just gotten back from visiting Azure's grave, they really didn't want too, but it was the least they could do for his birthday, it's saddening how underwhelming the amount of gifts his grave got was, if it were up to Twotime, they would give him the entire world, their entire world.

 

They swore they saw him, they were sure they had been hallucinating him, ever since he passed, they've seen him, lurking, wondering, they even saw him standing under the tree nearby the garden, watching them intensely, it was uncomfortable, it took them courage to not break down right there, every time they saw him, they ignored it, tried to look away, they didn't want to have any more hallucinations.

 

Not of him, not anymore.

 

They remembered him talking, he gave them a word of advice, something along the lines of running away, hearing his voice again was haunting, they had missed the sound of it, but hearing his words hit so closely to home? Hurts harder. They didn't want to acknowledge it, yet they knew he was truthful.

 

Running away, that's what Twotime always did, no matter what, when things got bad, they cowered, and ran, yet, fate waits for nobody, it always catches up.

 

As much as it hurt, they couldn't help the urge, they wanted to look at him, to actually acknowledge him, they wanted to forget him, just like the higher up's told them, yet, the thought of forgetting Azure? It scared them more than anything, they were in a crossfire, between their belief and Azure, yet, it's clear which side they've taken, it's a shame they had too in the first place anyway.

 

It's bad, they knew they're going to feel sick to their stomach afterwards, yet they couldn't control it, even if it was just for a second, for just a moment..

 

Twotime wanted to see Azure.

 

They looked at him, they locked eyes.

 

They had to look away instantly, their head ran dizzy for a moment, they regretted it immediately, just seeing him made them feel all kinds of emotions, they could feel his intense gaze, even though it was for a mere second, it's like they had seen through eachother, it didn't feel the same now that Azure was dead, it didn't have that realization of love, the desire to be together, no, it was devoid of warmth, but Twotime expected no less. 

 

It's funny, how you'll know something, yet when it actually happens, it still messes with you, maybe it's the doubt? The small tiny voice in the back of your head trying to convince you, but you already know fate.

 

Akin to a prophecy.

 

Twotime remembered what Amarah said, how Azure's sacrifice would be the ascension to Spawn, how their mentor talked so casually, almost happily about murdering Twotime's own bestfriend, surely he was smiling because it was for Spawn, it had to be, right?

 

Yet, Twotime felt doubt in the back of their mind, after— No, even when they saw Azure die, they didn't feel 'Holy' they didn't feel any sort of special feeling, nor reaction to it, it was more so the opposite, they felt dread, leading up to the day, and anxiety in the moment itself.

 

They were supposed to be happy, but ever since, they never felt happy again, sure they could act it, act like nothings wrong, and nobody cares enough to notice, nobody knew Twotime well enough to realize, only he did.

 

They never thought they would ask themselves the question.

 

Was Spawn.. Real?

 

It felt stupid, so stupid, but if the Spawn could just prove itself, give them any type of sign, a proof of it's existence, that would give Twotime hope, a belief rebound.

 

It's as if all their prayers fell on death ears, they knew patience was a virtue, but they needed a blessing, now, more than anything.

 

Twotime was really at their limit.

 

Even if it's hidden, not physically shown, the weight was crushing them, it tugged on their heartstrings.

 

It's not a new thing, no, they've being wondering, pondering, thinking about it in the long, painful four months. The existence of Spawn was on their mind everyday, yet they tried to push their blasphemous thoughts down.

 

To run away from it.

 

That's just like them, isn't it?

 

They knew they would be in trouble if they questioned the existence of Spawn itself, a key giveaway to a loss of faith, a belief fading away, its unacceptable, they knew that better than anyone.

 

They had so many questions, which wasn't like them, they had been a blind believer, but now? They had never been so unsure about Spawn, these months, building up their courage to ask such a simple question.

 

It speaks volumes about the Church.

 

If Twotime had one last wish to know, before they succumbed to death, they would wan't to know the truth, its guaranteed to be given a scolding, maybe even a slap across the face, but it wouldn't matter anyway.

 

Twotime wanted answers.

 

No, they needed answers.

Chapter 3: See The Truth Beyond Lies

Summary:

Twotime gets into an argrument with their mentor, they say something that makes Azure realize something.

Alas he finds out.

Today marks five months.

 

Five months without their bestfriend, five months without their Azurewrath.

 

And the day they ask that question, right, that question.

 

Twotime skimmed through any conversations people had with them, just some simple small talk, and a polite wave, they felt anxious, they kept trying to tell themselves it would be okay, but they were scared, he was their mentor, he's watched them grow up, he's almost a father figure to them! Surely, he won't get mad..

 

Desperate prayers circled around their head, they prayed silently, it's mechanical, they were automatically praying, even to a God they're unsure even exists.

 

They open the door.

 

Amarah looks up at them, he's already talking to another what seems to be a teacher, was this a bad time? Was Twotime interrupting something? This is just their luck..

 

They freeze awkwardly, seeing the two higher up's look at them, it's like they were waiting for Twotime to say something, they wanted too, but what they wanted to say felt private, they're doing enough just asking if Spawn was real, but infront of TWO teachers? They'll get an even worse punishment.

 

It's kinda baffling, how a simple question could put you in such deep trouble, they could understand it to an extent, sure it's blasphemous, but to get punished for it? It seems like an overreaction.

 

Twotime stands there, awkwardly, before they could even dash away, they heard Amarah call out to them just as they were about to close the door.

 

"Twotime, wait."

 

Twotime froze once again, they slowly slid the door open, meeting Amarah's gaze, he had a brief chat with the other teacher that Twotime couldn't make out, but it sent the other teacher away..

 

"Sorry about that, what do you need?" Amarah asked, he knew they only visited him for urgent matters, else they just wait for him to come to them instead. "It has to be important if you're here, no?"

 

Twotime nods, they closed the door behind them, they thought intensely, if they just blurt it out, it'll be done and dusted, yet if they stay hesitant, each moment of them explaining is gonna be painful—

 

"I've been having my doubts about Spawn, I know I was supposed to feel blessed after Azure's death, because I know it was supposed to be a worthy, holy sacrifice, but I just.."

 

Twotime's words trailed off, they spoke at record speed, yet Amarah could still understand their words, like he wasn't used to it already.

 

"So it's about Azure?" Amarah asks, his tone and facial expression were unreadable, they didn't like that, it shouldn't feel so tense, yet it does, or are they overthinking it?

 

"I've told you multiple times." Amarah adds on. "Is it because you miss him? Is that why you're losing your faith, because of him? That's what made him so worthy—"

 

"You don't understand! You keep telling me the same thing over and over, hoping that it'll make sense to me, but it doesn't! It never has!" Twotime yelled, it's weird hearing them rebuttal, even they were suprised, they saw the look on their mentor, but it felt oddly nice, to say how they feel, for once.

 

"So.. Why? Why was it Azure? Why'd it have to be him?! Why'd he have to die!—"

 

"That's ENOUGH."

 

Amarah shouted back, the room falls silent, were they.. Fighting? Twotime had always been so obedient, they never did this, not once, had they ever denied Spawn, denied him..

 

"What has gotten into you?! I've seen the way you've been acting off these past months."

 

"Don't you see, Twotime?! I'm doing what's best for YOU, Do you realize what you're saying!? Azure was nothing but a bad influence on you, can't you see what he's done!? That's why he dead!—"

 

"You don't know what's good for me! If Azure really was getting in my way, why couldn't we just work through it? Why'd you have to kill him!?"

 

Amarah tries to put a hand on Twotime's shoulder, but they pushed it away, their face burned, they hadn't even realized they were crying, they were too angry to notice.

 

And in the corner of their eye again, they saw him, they saw Azure, watching, he looked just as upset as they did, it pained them, their eyes shot back to Amarah.

 

"You don't get it! Everyday, I see Azure, even though he's dead! I can see him, and I have to deal with it, everyday! I have to see my bestfriend that YOU murdered!"

 

—

 

Azure's eyes immediately flicked to Twotime, He was confused if they could actually see him or not, or if they're just hallucinating another version of him, but what stunned him more was what they said.

 

"My bestfriend that YOU murdered?"

 

It doesn't make sense, he thought that Twotime was the one who killed him, they knocked him out, didn't they? Why wouldn't they be his murderer?

 

—

 

"Was he a worthy sacrifice?! Or did you just not like him!?" Twotime's voice echoed through the room, it was true, even Azure knew Amarah was off put by him, Azure never knew why, but he could always see the uncertainty in Amarah's eyes when Azure was with Twotime, but the pair hung out so often to the point they never bothered questioning it, it became a norm.

 

Now it's just confusing, now even Azure want's answers.

 

—

 

Twotime could barely make out sentences now, due to the river flowing down their face, they slammed the door behind them, this time, Amarah didn't bother to ask them to come back.

 

They ran back to their dorm, they felt so.. Heartbroken, empty, depressed, as if they hadn't been since Azure's death, but this time? It's different.

 

Twotime collapses on their bed, silently sulking into their pillow, they wished somebody would bother to check up on him, for once, the way he used too.

 

—

 

Azure followed Twotime, his form phased through the door, Twotime hadn't noticed him yet, due to how quiet he was, he felt bad, looking at them, yet his confusion made him keep his distance, just for a moment.

 

"Twotime." He calls out.

 

They froze, that can't just be an accident, there's no way, he had seem them act weirdly, as if they could actually see him, he always brushed it off, he was sure they couldn't see him.

 

"Can you see me?"

 

"... Yes."

 

Twotime finally looked up from their wet stained pillow, it took Twotime a momet to realize they were acually talking to Azure, and that it might not be in their head.

 

"Is it really you..?" Twotime asked, Azure nodded.

 

"Yeah, you can actually see the ghost of me, it's not a hallucination this time."

 

Twotime reluctantly smiles, they wanted to hug him, to say sorry, but as nature has it, their efforts would be wasted, they'd just pass through him anyway.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"I know." Azure responds, he let Twotime have their moment, their moment of realization, before getting to the point.

 

"You didn't kill me, did you?"

 

Azure asked, and of course, Twotime denied it, they were apologizing for something they didn't even do.

 

"I.. Was supposed too, I couldn't bring myself to do it, after I knocked you out, I broke down, I just.. I couldn't kill you." Twotime responded, their voice was shaking.

 

"Amarah did it for me, and I didn't do anything.. It's my fault, I didn't stop him—"

 

Azure shushed Twotime.

 

"I understand."

 

"What?"

 

"You were too shocked to do anything in the moment, If I were you, I think I'd do the same thing." Azure said, he wasn't as angry as before, he wished they would've done something, but he could understand where they were coming from.

 

"I.. Forgive you." He added on hesitantly, he still felt resentment towards Twotime for even going through with it, but it was more towards the cult, than anything.

 

He felt angry, the people who he was supposed to trust, to rely on, killed him, and it's all nothing but a hoax? It was pissing him off.

 

"Twotime, listen to me— You need to get out of here." Azure said, he wished he could grab Twotime's shoulders, and just shake all the sense into them, alas not everyone gets what they wish for.

 

"Huh?"

 

"This place is a hoax."

 

"Spawn isn't real?"

 

Twotime knew that by now, they should've known by now, they felt a bit flabbergasted, they knew it was coming, yet they were still a bit shocked, afterall, this is the God they've been worshipping their entire life.

 

"Are.. You real? You're not just a hallucination in my head, you're actually Azurewrath, right?"

 

Azure could've sworn they asked that a few minutes ago, he knew they needed time to process this information, it took a short while for Azure to come to terms aswell, but he was also very much the real Azurewrath.

 

"Your mind isn't playing tricks on you, It's really me." Azure replied, he had a gut feeling they weren't gonna believe him.

 

"Then why are you only talking to me now?" Twotime tilted their head.

 

"Because I didn't know you could see me!"

It was the most obvious thing in the world, if Azure was aware that Twotime could see him, he would've told Twotime ages ago!

 

"Oh, right.." Twotime scratches the back of their head, embarassingly, they let out a sheepish grin.

 

Azure couldn't help but laugh, along with them, like how they used too, it was nice, Twotime knew Azure wasn't laughing at them, and vice versa.

 

He felt alive again.

 

"Can I have some time to think about this?" Twotime asked, Azure didn't like nor appreciate the idea of Twotime staying in the cult for much longer, but they needed time to process, needed time to make a plan, it's not easy to run away from their home like this.

 

"Alright.." Azure reluctantly replied, he respected it despite himself, but he wanted them to make up their mind soon, the worst case scenario is them being dragged back into their false beliefs.

 

Things were challenging, complicated and complex as now, but together, they would make it through.

 

Even in death, it could not pull them apart.

Notes:

Sorry if there's mistakes, didn't betaread hard enough..

I want chocolate milk so badly rn

Chapter 4: 'Forgiving' And 'Forgetting'

Summary:

Azure checks up on Twotime again, after a week.

They shortly dicuss the plans regarding the escape.

Twotime had a lot of things on their mind, but so does Azure.

(Author notes are somewhat important, pls read!)

Notes:

Just to clarify!

Whenever theres an em dash randomly that ISN'T in a sentence (—)
- it normally either means the POV changes, or it's a flashback!

It's Twotime's POV, at first though.

Not much dialogue for this chapter (me thinks, sorry haha)

ALSO! I know Azure's pronouns are he/they, but I use exclusively he/him, because I don't want him to be confused with Twotime, but as always I didn't betaread hard enough so I might've used 'They' on Azure in some places! Sorry if anyone gets confused, but I think not because Im 99% sure that there isn't, but just incase, teehee.

Would it be funny if I just keep the books title name as this, LOL. (this statement is gonna be so confusing for future readers once I rename it)

Also TW for implied suicide attempt / thoughts!

 

It's been a week, that's long enough, to come to term's with reality, and to come up with an escape plan.

 

Twotime's small journal was filled with different escape plans, some scrapped, some standing.

 

It would be hard for the two of them to choose one, they could choose more than one, but there's already enough risk in getting caught, so if Twotime gets caught, even once? 

 

Then they're never getting out.

 

It started off simple, then branched to more diverse, complex ideas, until they finally figured something out.

 

"So.. You've made up your mind?" Azure startles Twotime, he'd always pop out of nowhere.

 

"Why don't you knock!—" Twotime's words come to a sudden conclusion, he couldn't just knock..

 

"Because I'm not exactly alive—"

 

"Sorry, I know."

 

"No worries, Nightshade."

 

That nickname, God, they missed being called that, that's beside the point.

 

"I've came up with tons of escape plans, but.." Twotime wasn't confident in any of them, were they really capable of doing this? Could they actually escape? Not that they wanted to stay, but people have tried to escape before, and the punishment's are nasty.

 

And by nasty, death.

 

Twotime thought, if worst comes to worst, they'd die, honestly it scared them, but sometimes it feels like the best escape rather than the worst outcome, it's not like it was new to Twotime, Azure had always been the glue that kept them together, that kept them going.

 

When Azure died, the ideas of dying started to linger heavily in Twotime's mind, they've considered it, even tried, but of course, nothing goes their way.

 

Their mind was going to a dark place.

 

—

 

Twotime woke up.

 

They're alive.

 

The day after their attempt, it felt empty, awkward, uncomfortable, deep in their heart, despair still lurked, they stil felt shallow.

 

Last night, they thought would be their last night, they turned to the rubbish bin, scrapped suicide notes they were planning to leave behind.

 

Useless, not like it matters, nobody truly cared for them, not like Azure did, they took advantage of his kindness, of his love, and now they were left with the bitter reality.

 

He won't come back.

 

Sure, they'll see his ghost around.

 

But he won't come back, they'll never be able to feel the warmth, the touch, the love of him ever again, or atleast not in the way they used too. 

 

Even if Azure forgave them, they can't just go back to being friends, atleast not normally, or that's what Twotime thinks.

 

But their thoughts scared them, the thought of never being able to see him again, truthfully, it stung their heart, no, it felt like ripping their heart out of their body.

 

Without Azure, Theyre a soul, without a purpose.

 

—

 

...

 

Even in the present, even if they can talk to him, they can't feel him, not at all.

 

The most they could feel was a gush of wind when his ghost would pass—

 

...

 

A gush of wind?

 

"Azure!!" Twotime called out, another idea sparking in their head, they knew Azure's ghost form was incredibly limited to doing stuff, but if he can simply cause a gush of wind, isn't that enough to provide a distraction?

 

"Well, aren't you a smart cookie?" Azure laughed, not at their explanation, nor at them, but rather his own stupidity about just finding out he could even do that.

 

"I know it's a bit.. Silly, but it's unlikely the guards can see you, no?" 

 

"I suppose.."

 

"Sorry!! My idea was stupid— we still have till tonight to figure something out!" Twotime closes the journal, they felt so shy all of a sudden, they shouldn't of shared their ideas.. Why would they do that, why—

 

"It's not stupid, flower." Azure leans forward to get a better look at Twotime's face. "You're just weighing out the options, making ideas to escape, that's a good thing." 

 

"Oh, thank you.." First, Twotime feels shy, now their cheeks feel like they're on fire!

 

"You're blushing, Nightshade."

 

"It's just the temperature!" Twotime knew he was teasing them, but they couldn't help but fall for it, it's the oldest trick in the book, they should've known better.

 

Atleast he's getting a smile on his face.

 

His smile is quite infectious..

 

"Don't smirk like that.."

 

"Smirk like what? Nightshade?"

 

The nerve of this guy!

 

Twotime rolls their eyes, not annoyed, but they were fond of the botanist next to them, normally they'd have a pillow fight with him, and say something like 'You're a dead man!' Before suffocating him with a pillow.

 

Guess that didn't age well.

 

Twotime turns over to Azure again, they thought he'd still be smiling like an idiot, they were never more wrong in their life.

 

—

 

Azure's gaze was far from Twotime's, his smile gone, a neutral, unreadable expression painted his features, he was too in his thoughts to realize the fact they were staring directly at him now, he thought they wouldn't notice.

 

Over the past week, Azure had done a lot of thinking, hearing Twotime's ideas made him sad, almost pitful of them.

 

He had different plans for Twotime.

 

Very different plans, in contrast to theirs.

 

He finally noticed Twotime's gaze upon him in the corner of his eye, he froze for a moment, before scattering to cut himself out of his deep thought.

 

"You're staring." He said, awkwardly avoiding the others eyes, his joke was to try lighten up the mood, try make things less awkward, less tense.

 

Twotime saw through it.

 

Seeing them openly read him, know him so well made him slightly uncomfortable, feels weird for them to feel so close to him again.

 

It's almost like..

 

The thought of it? It's nice, but when it actually happens? It feels uncomfy, which fits him ironically well, considering how he had been yearning for the old days with his bestfriend again, to go back to those times, once more.

 

Maybe it's just better in his head, this whole thing of forgiving Twotime again felt wrong, which made him feel guilty, they weren't even the one who killed him! Yet, why couldn't he find it in his heart to forgive them? Why?

 

"Azure.." Twotime's words cut through the silence, the silence was already being spoken loud enough. "Is something the matter?"

 

"Just deep in thought about the plan, thats all."

 

 

Twotime didn't respond.

 

Come on, say something!

 

—

 

Azure's words didn't feel genuine, is he lying to them? Twotime knew him well, but they also knew that sometimes, he was just as good at hiding secrets away from them, as they were.

 

He wouldn't talk about it with them anyway, he won't open up to them, and they can't just.. Force him too.

 

—

 

Maybe Twotime just got caught in the crossfire? Maybe it's just because they were involved with the situation means that it's just kind of been offputting for Azure! 

 

 

They knocked him out, but didn't directly kill them, but the fact they would even go through with the first act? The fact they hid it, never bothered to tell him, was enough for him to build up resentment.

 

Azure hated how easily angry he got, how easily he could hold grudges, and never let go, how fast he could build up resentment towards people.

 

The truth, he could not forgive, nor forget.

 

He should've known better seeing how they acted in the weeks building up to his death, but the mere fact that the cult was able to make Twotime do it so easily?

 

If the roles were reversed, Azure would rather die in Twotime's place than see them die, but would they do the same?

 

Would they sacrifice themselves for Azure? The way he would for them? Would they?

 

As much as he hated to admit it, but goodness.. Sometimes he wanted to hurt Twotime, he felt insane for even thinking that, but even they got on his nerves sometimes, they said things like how they'd love, and be his bestfriend forever, and how they'd never part, and how they promised to always protect eachother, but when Azure needs protection, Twotime turns around and leaves him to rot?

 

What kind of friend is that?

 

A liar, for sure.

 

He had always lived not being able to fully be himself around others, he knew Twotime had the same problem, Azure always had to put up this perfect front to Twotime, hide all his negative emotions away from them, all his negative traits, everything.

 

What a hypocrite, he get's mad at Twotime for lying, yet he's been lying to them just as much as they were.

 

Twotime wouldn't love Azure, if they knew who he really was, who he really acted like, they don't wan't an angry resentful friend, they wan't that kind loving botanist friend.

 

It's so.. Tiring.

 

With their actions, did Twotime ever love Azure anyway? Or was 'Spawn' more important? Was their friendship even serious? Or was those prayer nights more important? Was he even good enough for them? Or was worshipping more important!?

 

Sure, it's different now, they don't believe in that fake belief anymore, but it doesn't take away the pain.

 

Emotions are so complex, Azure couldn't even figure out how he felt anymore.

 

One minute he loves them, the next he's questioning his love for them.

 

Back and forth, over and over.

 

Maybe he shouldn't bottle up his emotions, or push down how he really felt all the time, because now, he doesn't even know, what to feel, nor what he feels.

 

He only has himself to blame.

Chapter 5: Forsaken. (FINAL)

Summary:

There's an extra little bit, after the events of Forsaken, that's all I'm telling you.

Notes:

Just to be clear, I did not betaread this at all, and I DON't care, also— this ending does kind of still follow Forsaken's lore, but it's a bit different / I've twisted it in some parts compared to canon.

It's supper, worshippers prance and preach before eating their food, Twotime doesn't join in on the prayer, it goes unnoticed, thankfully. The once dinner they found lively and delicious now felt dull and tasteless, something not to be trusted anymore, even the food they once praised, left a bitter aftertaste in their mouth.

 

They didn't put up an act, their expression was as cold as ice, and just as calculating, they scrapped all their plans last minute, they knew that was a bad idea, and a waste of time, considering how they spent a full week planning for this.

 

They wanted to leave, but even so— It's still hard, to leave the place they once called home, they felt a feeling creep up on them, one as bitter as the food they ate.

 

They remembered.

 

The memories they made, the friends they made, the moments they shared, it makes them sad, knowing they have to leave it all behind, in honesty, there are a lot of things aswell, that they wouldn't miss either, they shouldn't be reminiscing on the cult that had been manipulating them their whole life.

 

They felt blinded by nostalgia.

 

They're sneaky, they just hoped that their sneakiness would be enough, there's a price to pay if they get caught, they've seen how harsh the punishments can be, the least painful option is a beating, and getting starved for days at most.

 

They left dinner earily, they hadn't even realized, they zoned out, in their own world, own state of mind.

 

Their hands traced amongst the walls of the long, big, and wide church hallways, they saw the sunset just dipping into night, the once warm light that shined through the window glass, became a cold reminder of the heaviness of the night of their escape.

 

They could hear the distant laughter of people from the dinner, it kind of hurt, knowing how unaware the others were, the only reason they even came up with a plan to ecape, wasn't actually to escape, but rather leave a message, if worst comes to worse, was it bad they scrapped that?

 

Selfish, probably, but that's all Twotime is, and that's all they'll ever be, it makes them wonder, does somebody like them deserve the right to escape? 

 

Twotime stopped, they looked out at the moon, deep in their thought, they remember making a plan, but they scrapped it, they were scared that the guards would find out their notes during the weekly dorm search, which was just them overthinking, considering the fact they were so paranoid, they kept it inside their robes while they slept, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

 

They look back at it, it's kind of silly, how easily they overthink every single thing, oh how selfish they were— They could've warned everyone that it's a cult, but even if they did, would people still believe them? Afterall, they trusted Azure's word more than anything, but not just him, their own belief aswell, they knew everything was a lie, but how could they prove it? It's not like they can see Azure, and even if they provide solid evidence, they'd still probably be called a liar.

 

It's scary, how delusional religions can drive you, if Twotime was still a blind devoter, they could see that being them, denying anything about their God being fake— It's not like they wanted Azure to die, Goodness, it was the last thing they ever wanted, but something about his death, it snapped them out of it, out of this.. Trance, as if it made them realize something, they didn't know why, or how, but it made them feel grateful, no offence to Azure.

 

"Hey, are you gonna keep stargazing, or actually leave?" Azure's voice echoed through the hall, Twotime's head snapped up, looking around, they couldn't see him until he was right in their face, Twotime didn't pull back, if anything, it felt a bit.. Intimate. They weren't annoyed at his teasing, it eases the tension.

 

"Likewise, I was just in thought." Twotime responded, Azure just nodded in response, he understood, Twotime liked that, the pair were so close they could understand eachother without the other having to say why, it's sort of like they're silently reading eachothers minds.

 

"I'm sure that the feeling will pass eventually." Azure replied to the unanswered wondering that was going on inside Twotime's head, he's right, it'll pass, but even in the moment..

 

"You just have to push through, Nightshade. I know it might be hard, but I'll be here with you, alright?"

 

".. Are you sure, Azure? But what about everything else? Will we still be able to go back to being bestfriends? It's not like you can just.. Come back from the dead! I feel guilty, you're just going to watch me live my life in peace, what do I even do? I can't— I can't just act like you're not there! Like I can't see you! I wan't you to be WITH me, Azure! I wan't to feel your warmth, feel your love, but I—I can't! And it's all my fault! It's my fault you're dead, It's my fault I Didn't!—"

 

Azure looked at Twotime, their eyes met, it wasn't a look of pity, but one of sympathy, a look that want's to be understood, he spoke against Twotime, once more.

 

"Stop blaming yourself for stuff that isn't your fault, don't carry the burden of the cults faults! It's all this stupid places fault! Thats why I wanted you to escape, Twotime! I don't EVER wan't this place to hurt you, EVER AGAIN."

 

Azure was furious, Twotime knew, they knew it was all directed at the cult, but they didn't wanna see him get frustrated either, he had such a way with words.

 

"You're always able to calm me down.." Twotime said, they saw Azure's face soften at their words, he always looked at them with so much affection, it was so powerful that it was a bit overwhelming, and he wasn't even doing anything!

 

"Thanks for staying by me, Azure."

 

"That's what friends are for."

 

Right, friends.

 

Bestfriends.

 

 

 

 

12:00 AM.

 

The clock strikes midnight, it's time.

 

Twotime is stuck in a trance again, stuck in place, they had their thoughts reassured, repeatedly, yet they felt it bubble back up again, the grinds turned in their head.

 

They stood frozen, unmoving, as if they'd die if they were to take another step, they're so close, to victory, to freedom, but the guilt, it still weighed on them, even with Azure by their side, they couldn't feel his touch, his love ever again.

 

Were they even deserving of it? His grace?

 

The silence spoke volumes, they felt a cold breeze overcome them.

 

But time waits for no one.

 

A loud clash! Distracting all nearby guards, It sounded.. Really bad— They didn't even wanna know what Azure could've possibly broken, they looked up, they saw him.

 

"Cmon, Nightshade! What are you waiting for?"

 

"Don't call me that."

 

Twotime's cold words seemed to have elected a confusion amongst Azure, understandable, though they didn't mean for it to come across so harsh.

 

"Night— Twotime, what's wrong? You— No, were so close to—"

 

"I can't."

 

As Azure was planning to take a step foward towards Twotime, he stopped in his tracks, a knowing expression played on his face, they both knew what this about.

 

"Twotime, we've talked about this.."

 

"I know, and I'm sorry, I.. I can't pull myself to leave! I don't deserve the right to freedom, I'm selfish, I'm terrible, I'm horrible, Azure! How could you forgive me? Why!? I let you die.. I didn't do anything, I could've saved you, but I didn't! Why do I deserved to be saved!?"

 

In the heat of the moment.

 

Azure grabbed Twotime's wrist, he knew it would he worthless, thinking it'd go throigh them, but something about it.

 

It felt right.

 

And for a second.

 

Twotime felt his touch again.

 

That warm, loving touch, a touch that doesn't hate them, a touch that just want's the best for them, to love, to care for them, it's that same warmthness, it had only been a few months without it, but a few months, means the world to Twotime.

 

Alas, all good things must come to an end, the feeling vanishes as fast as it came, yet in the moment it had felt like time itself stopped.

 

"What was.." Twotime broke the ice, Azure looked just as suprised as they did, but he shook his head, to get back on track.

 

"Twotime, listen—"

 

"I'll do it." Twotime didn't even let Azure finish, they knew that he'd say that anyway, their voice carried newfound confidence, something they had previously lacked, that touch did something again, it was like a wake up call.

 

They still felt anxious, but seeing the guards still distracted, they, on a whim, rushed for the exit, they ran out the doors as fast as they can, the loud, creeking church doors had alerted the guards, Twotime forgot how loud that door can be..

 

"Hey, come back here!" Guards yell in unison, chasing down Twotime into the forest, Azure was running alongside them, giving them directions on where to go, those words were the only thing Twotime focused on.

 

They could feel their heart pounding, their adrenaline pumping, they had never ran so fast in their life, no, they were running for their life.

 

The chase was resilient, guards on their tail, refusing to give up their pursuit, but neither did Twotime, they had spears in their hands.. That's terrifying..

 

Twotime could feel their legs giving up after a while, but they didn't falter, they can't give up, and with Azure's encouragement by their side, they only picked up the pace.

 

For a second, a moment.

 

Everything wen't silent, did they lose the guards?

 

Twotime didn't wan't to look, incase it were to distract them, or mess them up, only Azure's shouting is what convinced them.

 

Too late.

 

Before Twotime could turn to see the group of guards, a spear pierced through the back of their leg, impaling it, they had so much adrenaline, that it was numb, but it only lasted so long, short-lived, really.

 

A loud haunting echo, one that scared every bird, or crow away, a loud declaring of Twotime's agony, their lungs grew tired, And Azure couldn't do anything, he had to sit there and watch, not like he didn't try to help, but it all proved futile, dammit! Why couldn't he touch things now!?

 

The reminder of the spear piercing through each layer of skin, and out the other end was relevant, rouge squirted out of Twotime's back leg, they were on the ground, they couldn't move their leg, the red crimson sinked into the grass, staining it, it was so gory, Twotime's vision blurred, all they remembered was the guard's catching up to them, and the last thing they remember seeing, was Azure. The one they loved most.

 

But, their death wasn't here, not yet.

 

It's coming, this is just delaying the prophecy, the impending doom that awaits them.

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twotime was back, at the church, they didn't know how they survived that, the medical team probably acted fast, and was on sight, but unlike the old times, Twotime wasn't sitting in the nurses office, waiting for a small bruise, or cut to be healed, it was nothing like that.

 

A must worser fate awaited them.

 

Twotime was sweating, their vision was still blurring, but they were starting to gather themselves, they felt sharp pains, they could feel liquid dripping down their hands, and feet, which they assumed was blood, there were nasty nails binding them to the cross—

 

 

...

 

Their sweat increased as they realized what was happening, the higher up that stood nearby, a pastor preaching about Spawn, and the cost of betrayal.

 

 

 

"Tonight, we crucify a traitor! One who dares deny Spawn, to run away, a betrayer to our God, shall be sacrificed, may your sins be burned alongside you, traitor."

 

 

Fire got closer, Twotime wanted to scream, to shout, but their mouth was binded by tape, they couldn't..

 

All these innocent people, being manipulated, unaware they're in a cult, not knowing the dangers, the lies.. Twotime could see their old naive self inside the crowd that boo-ed at them, even though they were pratically cheering, and begging for Twotime to die, they couldn't help but feel sympathy, maybe someday, somebody can expose the lies of this cult, to uncover the truth beyond lies.

 

Yet, in the crowd, a face stook out.

 

Azurewrath.

 

His ghostly form shined, as if he was an angel, who was coming to take them, but there isn't a happy ending, there's no saving, there's no escaping together like how they wanted.

 

Tears ran down Azure's eyes, a river so overwhelming that it could put out the fire that was slowly burning them alive, he couldn't do it, he couldn't save them, and now he has to watch them die, because of his own suggestion.

 

The torture felt like it went on forever, Twotime's screams were muffled by the tape, the pain wasn't fast, their death wasn't immediate, it was slow, and brutal.

 

 

 

 

Alas, as the cheers reached the climax in the crowd, Twotime looked up at the moon, one last time, before looking back down at the hoard, the moonlight highlighted Azure.

 

"I love you, Twotime!" Despite the loudness, Twotime could hear Azure clearly over all the ruckus, they couldn't say it back, but they felt the same way towards him.

 

And at their wits end, in their last moments.

 

The last thing they saw was the thing they loved most, their dear, Azurewrath.

 

—

 

Twotime never came back, not like Azure did, the last hope that Azure had, is that they'd come back as a ghost, just to have his last remains of hope to vanish infront of his eyes, every day felt dull, the only thing Azure could do was haunt the cult, all the rage, and resentment, anger, hatred, and pure malice he held towards this place, it's too much, there's no word, no way he could explain the rage he felt, no amounts of power in this world would ever be able to manifest something as strong.

 

Why? Why'd only him?

 

Why couldn't Twotime be with him?

 

...

 

 

In the shadows, something lurked, it had no physical form, but it studied Azure, learnt him, and it began to want to take him in, as its own subject, just like it did to Twotime.

 

To Forsaken Him, that's it's goal, what it's longing for, and it would always get what it want's.

 

He'd do good as a Killer, no?

 

And with just a snap, everything wen't black.

 

...

 

 

 

Azure woke up, though— He had a new form, it's monstrous, disgusting, vile, and the biggest insult was the Spawn symbol that still rested on his chest, tentacles lashed out behind him, a zipper on his mouth? Ah, how convinent.

 

He didn't recogonize himself.

 

What did he look like again?

 

He didn't remember much, before the gears in his head started turning, for some reason, one name pierced through his mind, leaving nothing but bitterness behind it.

 

Twotime.

 

That name...

 

Azure didn't feel happy, he felt...

 

Resentment.

 

 

 

 

Funny, how once it has it's victim in it's realm, it can plant fake seeds, and lie— create up fake stories to decieve the subject, to mess with their head.

 

It was rewiring Azure, programming him.

 

Afterall, it's Twotime who 'killed' Azure.

 

They deserved to die, and when Azure finds them, he'll make sure of it.

 

That's the spirt, exactly what the Spectre was hoping to do after manipulating the poor botanist, oh well! The end result is more satisfying, in it's opinion, anyway.

 

 

 

 

Welcome to your new home, Azurewrath.

 

You've been forsakened.

 

You can be with Twotime, just as you asked.

 

But this time, things are different.

 

...

 

 

 

 

 

—

 

EXTRA.

(After Forsaken event's / memory wipe.)

 

A dorm, long abandoned awaited forward, and naturally with new people recruited, somebody's going to have to make room for a new dorm.

 

The door opened, a girl with deer-like features stepped in, the cold abandoned darkness caved in, she turned on the lights.

 

Wanwood blinked, she'd really have to clean all this? She spends most of the time in the forest, why couldn't she be given forest work? Not.. This.

 

But even so, high risk, high reward.

 

Something like that.

 

Wanwood got swiftly to work, thankfully it wasn't long till other people helped her, it took about 3-4 hours till the room was completely empty, though— Just as Wanwood did a final scan, something caught her eye.

 

Something on the floor, it looks like some sort of, notebook?

 

She didn't see this earlier, weird. She knew how bad it was to snoop around in others belongings, but she was curious, the old host of the dorm was probably long gone anyway, nobody even knew who the dorm belonged too, people just said it was just.. Mysteriously there, and nobody knew why?

 

...

 

She peeked at the inside of the notebook.

 

Writings, various plans to escape, words of 'cult' being oftenly used to describe the church, Wanwood was more of a casual believer, she wasn't.. Devoted, well she was! But to a more casual extent, and not so deeply extent, yet— this notebook, it carried this.. Energy with it, like the more she held it, the worse it was, it felt like a bad omen.

 

!!!

 

Wanwood threw the notebook on the ground, she gave herself a second to chill, and recollect herself, she noticed a... Picture, sliding out of the notebook when she had slammed it, she bent down and leaned down enough just to see it..

 

It's a picture of two people, their arms on eachothers shoulders, with writing that says 'Bestfriends!' Yet, these two individuals, they seemed so.. Similar, yet she couldn't put her finger on it, it's like she's seen them before, but she's never met them?

 

Or what she thought.

 

Wanwood's eyes scanned over the picture, just for a moment longer, what a weird way to spell an 'E'... Wait, is it backwards?

 

Not like it's any of her business, despite her curiosity, she was wary of the picture, honestly the only reason she didn't touch, or pick it up was incase she had a weird reaction to it, just like the notebook.

 

...

 

"Weird, I don't need this junk anyway.."

 

Wanwood said, her first, and last words before closing the door, forever.

 

She walked away, feeling a strange feeling overcome her.

 

Why's there just a random owned dorm that doesn't even belong to anyone?

 

And why did it feel so similar?

—

 

 

END.

Notes:

Wanwood (Ceruleon) sneak!

HEY!! Sorry it took so long for this to come out, I was really busy with exams the past week, but I made up time in my schedule to write this!

Also, I imagine the Spectre memory-wiped the entire Church, so nobody remembers Azure, or Twotime, or what they did to the two! (That's to explain Wanwood's part.)

Hope you guys liked it, hehe..

Sorry if there's any spelling mistakes :3,