This country is doomed!

by Cricketed

Summary:

An IF route where the question is not "Who is the best candidate?", but rather, "Who is the least bad?"

Each chapter will follow a different Candidate's camp.

Chapter 1: The Fifth Candidate

There was a house in the woods.

It was large enough to easily house five people, but because it was largely made out of wood, it had a cozy, cabin-like atmosphere.

It is in a secluded area of the woods, but not so secluded as to isolate it's residents from society, it merely affords them large amounts of privacy.

If you thought this house sounds like a lovely place to live, you would not be alone.

Every part of the house had been meticulously designed to be "lovely", for the sake of pleasing the one who commissioned it.

After all, this is the current residence of Capella Emerada Lugunica, Sin Archbishop of the Witch's Cult, representing Lust.

****

Before me sits three wild, bloodthirsty animals, and one Wolgarm.

No, that's incorrect.

If I don't count Doggy-Chan as a bloodthirsty wild animal just because it's been tamed, then I can't count Elsa-NeeChan as one either.

Well, regardless of the specifics, it's true that my life is in an incredible amount of danger right now.

The other two wild animals, are both willing to kill me if I say the wrong thing here.

The Sin Archbishop of Gluttony, also known as "Binge-Eating", Roy Alphard.

The Sin Archbishop of Lust, also known as "Mama", Capella Emerada Lugunica.

Even after all these years, I'm still terrified to death of them.

Still, I'm able to squeak out what I need to say.

"M-Mama, the results from the survey have come in..."

I hold the papers containing the survey results out for Mama to take.

Doggy-Chan is still licking his own ass, but all three of the humanoid "bloodthirsty wild animals" have now turned to look at me.

The tension is so thick, you can cut it with a knife.

Mama hums cheerfully. "This lovely lady will allow you to read the results to me, Meili."

This is bad.

She seems to be in a good mood, but that will change quickly once she hears what is written on this paper.

If she read them herself, then that would be fine, but if I read them aloud for her, then the target of her wrath will naturally be me.

Still, what can I do? She told me to read it to her.

"Y-Yes, Mama. I'll r-read it now..."

Even though I can't stop shaking, I do what I was told.

"Approval rating is... Zero point eight percent."

It went down again.

I don't want to see Mama's face. I don't want to see it contorted in anger. I don't want to look up from the paper. I continue reading.

"In popularity, we're still fifth."

In other words, dead last.

Well, that's how it's always been.

"As for the survey..."

My heart drops when I read it. I know Mama is going to kill me for this.

"...More than eight thousand of the ten thousand respondents said 'I want everyone involved with them to be tried and executed'."

The fact that we have been able to accrue such hatred is impressive in it's own right.

The group in question, that being the "Elsa Camp" that was participating in Lugunica's Royal Selection, was quite notorious.

It was comprised entirely of dangerous criminals, the candidate they represented was an assassin who was wanted dead or alive in at least two of the four great nations, and they had heavy ties to the Witch's Cult, a group that was despised the world over for their horrendous, indiscriminate crimes.

Taking all this into account, it was abundantly clear we were absolutely hated and despised like no oth-

-My train of thought is interrupted by Mama's sickening giggle.

"This lovely lady is truly pleased. It seems the ignorant masses adore us quite a bit."

I don't understand what she's thinking.

It's not worth trying to understand either.

I chance a glance Elsa-NeeChan's face.

She doesn't seem relieved. I know she would be sad if I died, so was she just not worried at all?

As for Gluttony-NeeSama, he is salivating while his eyes rapidly dart between me, Elsa, and Mama.

Scary.

Lastly, Doggy-Chan. He is still licking his own ass.

...

Looks like I've survived another day.

Chapter 2: The Fourth Candidate

Within the walls of a certain bar, Heinkel Astrea was drinking.

The longer the Royal Selection went on, the more his worries accumulated.

Was he truly doomed?

He negotiated with various people, pitched ideas, and desperately tried to sway opinions.

For the first time in years, he had truly worked hard, instead of wallowing in despair like usual.

And yet, he found himself without even a single ally.

His effort had went to waste, and he had found himself right back where he started.

Drinking alone.

More specifically, he was doing his best not to be noticed by the other patrons of the bar.

But why?

What did it matter if he caused another scene?

He had no goodwill left to burn, and no reputation left to sully.

Even though he thought that way, he continued quietly drinking in his corner of the bar.

Ultimately, that was the kind of man Heinkel Astrea was.

You would surely struggle to find someone more pathetic.

"Yo, Heinkel. Heinkel Astrea."

Heinkel's spiral of self-pity was interrupted by that masculine voice.

"Who're you?" The pathetic man hiccuped.

****

On paper, it was not a terrible campaign.

Various promises had been made regarding what would be done about the Kingdom's future.

In the Candidate's absence, Heinkel had taken firm stances on various issues.

Heinkel had even gotten his act together and properly managed the Astrea Domain for the first time in decades.

Furthermore, the idea of the Sword Saint bloodline and the Royal bloodline becoming one and the same should have been quite popular among the Council of Wise Men.

However, even with the knowledge that she would be woken up upon receiving the throne, there was nobody willing to put their hopes in a coma patient.

That was why the Louanna Camp could not escape being looked down upon.

It sat firmly in fourth place, with absolutely nothing going for it, except that it wasn't any of the other Candidates, who were all dubious in their own right.

Even taking all that into account-

"I'd like to propose a partnership, Heinkel."

The drunken man scowled. "Don't just say that stuff out of nowhere. I asked who're you."

"Well, my name's Aldebran, but if you don't call me Al, I'll get mad."

I introduced myself in a light hearted manner.

From past experience, I know seriousness just puts him on edge.

Heinkel's scowl deepened. "I'm not asking your name. I'm asking who the hell are you?"

Even though his phrasing is vulgar, it's a shrewd question.

Perhaps the Heinkel from a few months ago, who had not yet 'gotten his act together' would not have asked such a question.

This time around, I'll put all my cards on the table immediately, and answer his questions clearly.

"I'm an emissary with ties to both Vollachian royalty and Lugunican nobility. My master has decided to involve herself in the Lugunican Royal Selection and sent me to make contact with you."

Heinkel narrows his eyes and furrows his brow.

The polite thing to do would be to wait for him to gather his thoughts, or to postpone the conversation until he was sober.

However, the princess asked me to bring him over to the Barielle Estate 'immediately'.

Therefore, I will press the attack and continue speaking.

"I'll say it bluntly, old man. At the current rate, you won't win the Royal Selection. My master is an extremely impatient person, so the sooner you agree to meet with her, the more likely you can come to an understanding."

Heinkel places hand over her face and sighs deeply.

"...I'll come see what she has to say. Is two days from now alright?"

Hook, line, and sinker.

"I don't think you understand, old man. I said the sooner you agree to meet with her, the more likely you can come to an understanding."

"Eh?"

"There's a dragon carriage waiting outside for us."

Heinkel stood up from his barstool in shock.

"Hold on a minute! You want me to go now?! Now?!"

Without another word, I turned away and began walking towards the bar's exit.

Naturally, Heinkel followed.

You're too easy, old man...

Chapter 3: The Third Candidate

With all his heart and soul, Roswaal M. Mathers cursed Natsuki Subaru.

He acted in accordance with the Gospel's guidance, threw away even his humanity, and single-mindedly chased his cherished desire.

Because he had acted that way, he should have been able to see his desired result.

Because he had left Beatrice alone in the Forbidden Library for four hundred years.

Because he had killed his own children and stolen their bodies countless times.

Because he had watched as the Oni Clan was slaughtered, and taken Rem and Ram from the wreckage.

Because he had offered Emilia the chance to claim the Dragon's Blood, and taken her from the safety of Elior Forest.

Because he had used Emilia, his sworn attendant, as a honeytrap to entice Natsuki Subaru.

Because he had done all those things, without caring about who might be hurt as a result of his callous actions.

Because he had done those things, that was why.

That was why, he should have seen his cherished desire.

There was nobody as single-minded, devout, and obsessed as him.

That was why, that was why, that was why.

The idea that those crimes committed out of desperation and devotion should be made into meaningless atrocities, was unforgivable.

That was why, she cursed Natsuki Subaru's name.

****

Since the incident, the manor has been cold and empty.

This is not simply because there were less people in the manor, but more so due to the building resentment between those who remained.

I, myself, am steadily becoming unable to bear to oppressive atmosphere.

I would have have gladly joined the group that fled the manor back when the truth came out, but Nee-sama was among those who had chosen to stay, forcing my hand.

Of course, the choice was incredibly tough, choosing between Subaru-kun, who had chosen to flee, and Nee-sama, who had chosen to stay.

But the deciding factor was that Emilia-san had chosen to flee, and would be going to the same place as Subaru-kun.

Though, putting it that way is misleading.

Subaru-kun is the one going to the same place as Emilia-san, not the other way around.

After the truth came out, Emilia-san decided to leave on her own, and gladly took Subaru-kun and Beatrice-sama with her.

Leaving me, Nee-sama, Frederica, and Garfiel alone with that monster.

That monster.

Roswaal "Miload" Mathers.

"Since I will be inheeeriting House Mathers, I will be changing my name, manner of speaking, and manner of dressing myself in accordance with my predecessor's wiiill."

What a load of bullshit.

Annerose-sama was not even afforded to a grave to roll around in.

Roswaal Mathers, the one who dried Nee-sama's tears as she mourned you, was me.

If I killed you once more, would she detest me? Or would she let me dry her tears again?

If there's any justice in this world, it's that "Roswaal M. Mathers" is no longer the leading Candidate in the Royal Selection after Subaru-kun revealed what you have been doing for past four hundred years.

Still, can I be satisfied with just that?

Your "cherished dream" rots in hell.

Your "beloved teacher" rots in hell.

Still, can your victims be satisfied with just that?

Your dozens of children, whom you've murdered and replaced, are they screaming for justice?

My clan, which you let fall to ruin, are they screaming for justice?

Someone tell me what to do.

I can't decide whether I should kill you or not.

Notes:

Next chapter, we will see where Subaru and Emilia ran off to.

Chapter 4: The Second Candidate

The middle-aged man is sitting at his desk, quietly reading the paper that's been filled out.

The man is a history teacher.

The paper is a test.

The questions were not necessarily easy, but they were at a level that even a ten year old would not struggle.

"Thirty-five percent. That's a failing grade."

Well, the exam taker is only just barely seven years old, so that's to be expected.

Still, a kid that young might be crowned as ruler in just two years time, at the conclusion of the Royal Selection.

Is Lugunica really going to be okay...?

Well, regardless.

We're all counting on you, Plum Risch.

****

"Thirty-five percent. That's a failing grade."

Just from the expression on Kadomon's face, I could tell Plum-chan didn't do well, even before he said those words.

Inadvertently, I let out a mumble.

"Is it really no good without Reinhard...?"

The Plum Camp's sponsor, Reinhard van Astrea.

His 'Divine Protection of Training' makes him a supernaturally skilled teacher.

Thus far, he has been the only one successful in making significant strides in Plum-chan's education.

However, Reinhard is perhaps the busiest person in both this world, and the world I come from.

Attempts were made to make Reinhard's presence a non-necessity.

Emulating Reinhard's teaching methods was a failure. The Divine Protection seems to directly affect how Plum-chan intakes information.

Hiring expensive, well-renowned tutors was a failure. Though, the results were still better than home teaching.

Attempted recreation of the modern teaching techniques from my homeland was a failure. It was even less effective than the techniques used in this world.

Everything we've tried, has failed.

Of course, Plum-chan is not stupid.

Even without Reinhard's assistance, she can learn at an above average pace for her age.

However, an above average pace simply won't cut it.

The conclusion of the royal selection is in two years time.

The ruler inheriting the throne at nine years old is already worrisome, and that's in regards to children who have been raised since birth to handle the weight of the crown.

Plum-chan was an ordinary commoner girl until last year.

Well, that's not entirely true.

The name the Plum Camp is campaigning under is "Plum Fauzen".

Plum-chan's mother is a runaway noble lady, whose family has served the Astrea Estate for generations.

The fact Plum's father is a commoner was covered up, and Plum-chan was quickly moved to Astrea Estate, where her education began.

Thanks to everyone's hard work, a campaign was built.

But the fact that she was only six years old at the start of the Royal Selection, could not be escaped.

During her speech, tripped over her dress and started crying.

Well, the past is the past.

"Savepoint Guy, I just thought of a new trick to speed up Plum-chan's learning."

"Quit it with that weird nickname, you damn Lolimancer!"

"Hold on! 'Savepoint Guy' is just a friendly nickname, so how is it fair to call me that insulting title?!"

No matter what, I'll definitely make Plum-chan the ruler.

I know I'm just acting out of my own self interest, but even still.

How beautiful will your smile be, once Elior Forest is unfrozen?

That is why, no matter what.

I'll definitely make Plum-chan the ruler.

Notes:

Place your bets, who do you think the Leading Candidate is?

Chapter 5: The Leading Candidate

Notes:

Patrasche was the Second Candidate for a while, but I changed my mind. Half points to anyone who guessed her, the best girl.

'Can't stay in this place any longer.'

The crowd is roaring.

'The world I've always thought looked grand, has become a prison.'

Countless faces, twisted in excitement.

'No matter where my body goes, I'm still only free in spirit.'

Everybody is shouting, that I am amazing.

'So you want to understand me?'

My left hand is raised towards the heavens, and my instrument is gripped with my right hand.

'Please listen.'

A shout escapes my throat, aimed towards the crowd of thousands-

"I've had a revelation!"

****

"She held a surprise concert in Arlam Village the other day."

The man who said that goes by the name of Morgan.

He isn't an influential person, or someone you would recognize, but rather an ordinary member of the editorial staff for the 'Dragon Kingdom Newsletter'.

"Arlam?! There's no pattern to her movements at all, is there?!"

The boy who said that goes by the name of Shorty.

He is an ordinary reporter who works directly underneath Morgan.

He is slightly more notable in that he interviewed several of the Royal Candidates, and was the person to coin the nickname 'Lolimancer' in regards to Natsuki Subaru.

But still otherwise ordinary.

"...Search ...futile."

The girl who said that goes by the name of Lara.

She is an ordinary illustrationist who works as a partner to Shorty. Her illustrations are impressively realistic and are completed in a matter of minutes, making her probably the most talented person in this room.

But still otherwise ordinary.

The thing all three of these people have in common is not that they are all associated with Dragon Kingdom Newsletter and work alongside each other, but that they are all ordinary civilians.

They are regular people who you might pass on the street while getting lunch.

They are completely normal.

Therefore, they are not capable of understanding how Liliana Masquerade thinks.

Liliana is amazing.

The 'Leading Candidate' in Lugunica's Royal Selection, Liliana Masquerade.

The 'Songstress' who was once the shining star of the Watergate City Priestella, Liliana Masquerade.

The 'Wandering Royal Bard' who can be found anywhere in Lugunica at any given time, Liliana Masquerade.

The 'Woman I Love', that very Liliana Masquerade.

"How about you, Kiritaka-sama? Has another letter appeared at Muse Company?"

That voice was... Shorty? I'm not really paying attention, but rather staring into the void.

In fairness, does it really matter who said it?

I won't get to see Liliana tomorrow either.

"Look at his expression, Shorty. Does it look like he recieved another letter?"

"...Kiritaka ...Sad."

What am I paying these morons for?

If journalists can't find Liliana, who can?

"It's not to the same extent, but I understand Kiritaka-sama. What are we going to do if we can't interview all five Candidates?"

Was it Shorty or Morgan who said that?

Damnit, I want to see Liliana's face.

"Your journalistic frustration, and that man's abject misery can't be compared."

"...Situation ...Hopeless."

****

"It's gotta be Liliana-sama, right?"

A fellow merchant said that. He has a goatee.

There seems to be some kind of unbridgable gap between those who've seen her, and those who haven't.

I've even heard the theory Liliana's 'concerts' are just a front for mass mind control...

"No, no. If you think with your head, then it's between Louanna and Roswaal for us merchants."

A elderly bald merchant said that.

Finally, I speak up.

"Hold on a moment, I agree that Liliana is out of the question, but aren't you dismissing Plum too quickly?"

Both of the policies promised by Louanna's Camp and Roswaal's Camp respectively, are more beneficial towards merchants than the policies of Plum's Camp.

That said, I cannot in good conscience support Roswaal, and there is no guarantee Louanna will uphold the promises her camp made on her behalf.

Both camps are too fishy.

"Suwen, you bastard! Don't say Liliana-sama is out of the question when you haven't seen her yet, alright?!"

He got that angry just from me saying that?

Is she actually mind controlling them?

The bald merchant stands up. "Suwen's right, ain't he?! What does it whether we've seen her or not? She hasn't made a single damn campaign promise!"

The goatee merchant stands aswell. "You bastard...! Liliana is amazing! She'll save Lugunica!"

They're about to fight.

I grab my stuff and run for it.

****

Well, I guess that mind control rumor was untrue.

It was certainly a beautiful song, but it wasn't life-changing or anything.

I don't feel particularly compelled to put her in charge of the whole Kingdom, either.

Rather, having seen her in person, she seems kind of clumsy?

"Well, what did you all think?"

For no reason in particular, I asked those minions of mine for their thoughts.

"I liked it!" Mild said.

"It sounded nice!" Meina said.

"She was pretty!" Lucas said.

"It was good!" Cain said.

"I had fun!" Dine said.

Is that all they have to say? So shallow...

Their thought process is kind of shallow, but Subaru would say something like 'Everyone's opinion is valuable'.

I want to be like him so...

"At times like this, I remind myself that everyone's opinion is valuable."

"Petra, that kind of sounded like you don't normally value our opinions..."

I quickly cough and point towards Liliana, signing autographs.

"Lets go get autographs!"

"Petra, that kind of sounded like you want to distract us..."

I've seriously been off my game lately.

Regardless, we marched on towards her.

We are separated by the crowd, but I try to get her attention.

"Umm, excuse me? Liliana-sama?"

She didn't hear me. I push through, and get a little closer.

"Liliana-sama? I was wondering if I could get a..."

She still can't hear me. I raise my voice.

"Please excuse me, Liliana-sama!"

She's turned to looked at me, now.

Her movements are lively.

Her expression is lively.

The way she sings, is lively.

So why are her eyes dead?

****

No matter what time of day it is, the streets of Priestella shouldn't be this quiet.

I've lived here for years, and this is the first time I've felt this unsafe.

Walking through the empty streets, I become increasingly paranoid.

Finally, I turn a corner and see two figures standing side-by-side, as if forming a line.

A beautiful girl, with red hair and blue eyes.

A large man, with blue skin and many arms.

Before I knew it, I found myself standing in line alongside them.

****

"What did you think, Petra?"

"Liliana is amazing."