Chapter Text
After the Sludge Villain attack, Katsuki was completely fine. 100% fine. No matter how much his parents hovered or his friends glanced at him when they thought he wasn’t looking. The joke was on them, he was always looking. He had to be.
Ever since the attack his hearing had gotten worse. It had been fading for years, a side affect of his Quirk, the doctors had said. He’d made peace with the end result of that process a long time ago. But it had always been a gradual thing, not like this.
To this day Katsuki felt like he still had sludge in his ears. He’d rub at them, scratch at them, he even tried a variety of ear drops and cotton buds until his doctor had told him he would probably do more damage than good.
He’d been fitted with hearing aids and was still getting used to them when he started UA. They were annoying and he felt like finding a balance where he could hear without things being painfully loud and distorted was difficult.
But it was all fine. Katsuki was absolutely fine.
It was normal for people to startle when someone came up behind them, it wasn’t weird or an overreaction. It was normal to panic a little some of the time. It was totally fine.
His parents ended up forcing him into therapy, after one too many nightmares where he’d woken up screaming, and one rather frantic call to the fire brigade when his bedsheets had caught fire due to Quirk use in his sleep.
It wasn’t like he could help what happened when he was asleep. It didn’t mean anything. Everyone had nightmares, Katsuki was sure of it. He wasn’t someone who needed to go to therapy over a couple of dreams. But his parents forced him to go.
His therapist told him it was okay to panic, it was okay to suddenly startle and to be afraid. But she also told him all of those things meant that he wasn’t okay. After a few sessions she came back with a diagnosis. Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, which eventually, a few months later turned into a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Katsuki didn’t understand the difference and didn’t care to listen to his therapist’s explanation.
He didn’t feel any different. He felt the same. The same way he’d felt ever since the attack happened. He was fine.
Katsuki was sent to a second therapist after that, one who specialised in teens losing their hearing. Katsuki thought this guy was just spouting bullshit. He didn’t need to talk about his feelings about his hearing. It was going. Some of it gone already. He didn’t need some quack with a degree to tell him he might feel sad about it.
Why didn’t anyone ever believe he was fine?
But then the USJ attack happened.
And in the moment Katsuki was calm. He was collected. He was able to fight off the villains with his lightening fast reflexes and his perfect Quirk control. But afterwards his nightmares got worse. He’d get flashes of Aizawa-sensei’s crushed and mangled body, and sometimes it would appear as his own.
Sometimes he’d be back in that moment with Kirishima, when that chameleon motherfucker was preparing to attack him from behind, only this time when Katsuki turned, the Sludge Villain would be waiting for him instead.
But he was absolutely fine.
Sure, he’d accidentally exploded at his father when he’d put a friendly hand on his shoulder, singeing the edges of his moustache.
Sure, he’d had would could have possibly been defined as a panic attack at school during a training exercise.
Sure, he’d fainted after having a flashback.
Then of course he was kidnapped.
Nothing really happened whilst he was there, and he’d ended up escaping, but it didn’t exactly help with what he was feeling.
But it didn’t mean anything.
Katsuki was fine, he had to be, if he wanted to be the Number One Hero.
“Is there anything we can do to help him?” Mitsuki asked Katsuki’s first therapist, Dr Sakamoto. They were having some big group therapy session with both of Katsuki’s parents and therapists present to discuss how to move forward with him.
After so many months of no improvement, both therapists were at a loss, and his parents just didn’t know how to help.
They were sitting in Sakamoto’s office, the three of them squished onto a tiny couch whilst the two therapists sat opposite in armchairs, with clipboards on their laps. It looked very cliché.
Katsuki hadn’t really been listening to Sakamoto’s recap of their sessions. He’d given a mumbled yes when she’d asked for his consent to share his file with his parents and after that, he’d given up. He was aware of his father holding his hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles in an attempt to ground him.
“Katsuki has been very resistant to the idea of medical intervention,” Dr Sakamoto said. “In this scenario I would ideally prescribe anti-anxiety medication and anti-depressants, however, Katsuki has expressed concerns over potential side effects and how they may affect his hero training. That being said, CBT is also not having the desired results.”
“I don’t want any fucking pills.”
“Katsuki,” Masaru said gently.
“The major issue is of course, the hypervigilance, however, Katsuki’s worsening hearing loss is only making him feel less secure in his surroundings,” his second therapist, Dr Matsuoka said.
“Plus Katsuki’s refusal to acknowledge the hypervigilance is a result of trauma, and not just a good trait to have as a hero. CBT isn’t going to work if he won’t even admit his symptoms are symptoms,” Sakamoto added.
“Well you can’t just give up on him,” Mitsuki said.
“We’re not,” Sakamoto replied.
“There is something I’d like to try,” Matsuoka said. “I am partnered with an organisation that trains therapy and service dogs. I would like to send Katsuki to a two week training program, to see if a canine assistant would be beneficial to his mental health.”
“The fuck do I need a dog for?” Katsuki asked.
“Well, some deaf people find that having an alert dog, something that can tell them that the fire alarm is going off, or that there’s someone at the door for example, can be very rewarding and give them their independence,” Dr Matsuoka said. “And then people suffering from trauma often find an animal’s presence can be soothing, and that in states of high anxiety, an dog’s behaviour can settle them.”
“How the fuck would that even work,” Katsuki huffed.
“You’ve confessed to me that sometimes you see things that aren’t there,” Dr Sakamoto said. “A dog would be able to tell you if the person you’re seeing is real or a hallucination.”
“I’m not crazy.”
“Hallucinations are common with PTSD,” Dr Sakamoto said gently. “If you are feeling anxious, and you are seeing someone that you can’t tell if they’re real or not, and you’re with a dog who’s completely relaxed, you’ll be able to know it’s not real and hopefully relax too.”
“The type of program I want to recommend you to has a category for people who need a dog for multiple things, things like we’ve already discussed, but also things like maintaining a perimeter around you so people can’t approach you, to apply pressure therapy in order to ground you, and they’re trained to disrupt negative behaviours, like self-harm—”
“I don’t fucking cut myself,” Katsuki snarled.
“Things like skin picking, repetitive scratching and exercising to the point of exhaustion count as self-harm Katsuki,” Matsuoka said.
“Fuck off,” Katsuki snapped.
“Katsuki,” Mitsuki said.
“What? You think I’m crazy? That I need all this?”
“Baby, you need something,” Mitsuki said. “And I’ve tried to be supportive and to respect you, but if you’re adamant about not accepting medication then we need to do something. I love you so much but we can’t keep treading on eggshells around you. You startle at the slightest of things, and it makes me sick to see you that scared, even if it is just for a moment.”
“When you exploded at me the other day,” Masaru started.
“I’m sorry for that.”
“I know you are, Bud, but you were scared of me. For however brief a moment you thought I was going to hurt you, it breaks my heart to see you like this, Katsuki,” Masaru said. “I know you want to be strong, and brave, but you’re still a kid, you’re our baby, and we just want you to be okay.”
“If Sakamoto and Matsuoka believe this is the best way forward for you without medication, then you should seriously consider it,” Mitsuki said.
“I don’t want to upset you, but UA have been really good with all of this so far, but if you don’t start to get better soon, they won’t put you forward for any of the hero exams, you know that,” Masaru said.
“I’m not sick,” Katsuki said in a small voice.
“You are,” Masaru said.
Katsuki stared at the dog at his feet. She was a black Alsatian and her handler had told him her name was Aztec. Her black fur was long and she looked up at him with golden brown eyes. Katsuki had been given her lead and told to sit in the waiting room and wait for the trainer.
He was beyond pissed. He was missing two weeks of school for this shit, going to some stupid training school. He should be practicing for his exams, not sitting here with some stupid dog.
His parents had made him come. He’d been incredibly reluctant, but it was either this or he was going to be forced onto medications he didn’t want to take. So he’d agreed to try them. He still wasn’t happy with it though.
He supposed Aztec looked like a pretty cool dog. She looked like a small black wolf, and he supposed that kind of a dog would be better then something dumb looking. But still, she was wearing a bright blue vest that said “Service Dog” which was admittedly less badass.
“What are you looking at?” he muttered and the dog wagged her tail. Katsuki scowled at her.
The handler had explained to Katsuki that Aztec had been paired with him based on Katsuki’s diagnosis and requirements, but if they didn’t gel then he would be paired with another dog. Katsuki didn’t know how he felt about that. He didn’t want any dog at all, but he supposed he better try with Aztec, or he’d have to begin everything again.
Katsuki had never really been interested in animals. He liked them sure, but he was never that bothered by them. He’d never asked for a pet when he was little, and he’d never really seen the appeal of petting them. But as animals went, dogs were cool.
Katsuki rubbed his hands together and Aztec nudged at his hands.
“Fuck off, dumb dog,” Katsuki huffed, moving his hands away from her.
“She’s actually quite smart,” a voice said. Katsuki looked up at the man coming over to him. “She knows you’re anxious, so she’s trying to distract you.”
“I’m not anxious.”
“Well she thinks you are,” he said. “I’m Hagiwara, you must be Bakugou?”
“Yeah,” Katsuki said.
“And you’ve been paired with the lovely Aztec,” Hagiwara said. “She’s always been my favourite of the litter, she’s sassy.”
“Aren’t they all the same?”
“My Quirk is that I can talk to dogs,” Hagiwara said. “Believe me, she can be a right bitch, pun intended.”
Aztec let out a soft woof and Hagiwara said.
“She likes you, apparently you smell nice.”
“That’s creepy,” Katsuki said. “There’s a guy at my school who can talk to animals.”
“Lucky,” Hagiwara said. “Come on, let’s go, let’s see how the two of you work together.”
Katsuki stood, taking a hold of Aztec’s lead. The dog followed easily, with no pulling or protest. Hagiwara led them into a large open room and looked back at them.
“We’re just going to try basic things for now, to let her get used to her. We’re going to go through all her commands and make sure she’ll do them for you.”
Training was boring as fuck for Katsuki. Hagiwara made his tell Aztec to sit and to stay, to fetch things. Aztec was a good dog and did everything she was asked, despite how repetitive the tasks were. Hagiwara then told Katsuki to tell her to do the specific commands that would help him.
Katsuki had to admit, the check command was interesting. At a simple word Aztec would trot around the perimeter, sniffing everything. She stopped when she reached Hagiwara, barking twice at him, before returning to Katsuki.
“See, she’s telling you I’m here, but no one else is, she will bark at whoever is in the room with you. If you are alone, she’ll come back to you silently,” Hagiwara said.
“Right,” Katsuki said. “And that helps me how?”
“Well, I don’t know your mental health history, but this particular task can help with anxiety, if you feel like someone is watching you or something like that, she’ll reassure you you’re alone. This task is also helpful for those who experience visual or auditory hallucinations. If you see someone, but she doesn’t tell you they’re there, then they’re not real.”
Aztec came up to him, licking his hand. Katsuki moved away from her, wiping his hand on his pants.
“You’re really not an animal guy, are you?” Hagiwara said.
“Not really,” Katsuki said
After training, Katsuki was sent to his room with Aztec. It was a simple dorm room, with a little sink area and a desk. The bed was made with some standard bed clothes, and his bags had been placed on it, waiting for him to unpack them.
He’d been told he’d get food brought to his room, and that he was supposed to spent the evening bonding with Aztec. When he got to his room, he undid Aztec’s vest, putting it on the desk he had been given. Aztec immediately shook out her fur and then jumped forward towards Katsuki.
“What the fuck?” Katsuki said.
Aztec went over to a little box in the corner, snatching out a fluffy toy. She bowed down, sticking her butt up in the air, wagging her tail. Katsuki looked at her for a moment and she barked around the toy in her mouth.
“I don’t know what you want,” Katsuki said.
Aztec stepped forward, putting the toy at Katsuki’s feet. Katsuki reached down to pick it up, but as he did Aztec snapped it back up. The two of them held onto the toy, Aztec growled softly, pulling at it. Katsuki frowned, letting go of it.
Aztec dropped the toy, huffing.
“What?” Katsuki said. “I’ve got to unpack.”
He unzipped his bags, pulling out his clothes. He made piles on his bed of his clothes, and Aztec came over to sniff at them. Katsuki reached out and pet her head, scratching her ears. She leant into his touch and wagged her tail.
“What do you want?” he asked. “Do you want food? Are you hungry?”
Aztec wagged her tail again.
“Okay,” Katsuki said. “They said feed you at 6. That’s in 15 minutes, can you wait? What’s even happening, I’m talking to a fucking dog.”
Aztec barked at him, rubbing her body against his legs.
“Getting fucking fur all on my pants,” Katsuki said. “Dumb dog.”
Aztec went over to the dog bed that had been set up in the corner. Katsuki looked at her, before pulling out his phone and taking a picture of her and sending it to Kirishima, who called him immediately.
“Hey,” Katsuki asked.
“Hey man, Aizawa said you were sick, where are you and more importantly, who’s that cute little guy?”
“She’s called Aztec,” Katsuki said. “I’m at some stupid service dog training facility.”
“You’re getting a service dog?”
“Maybe, if this shit goes well,” Katsuki said. “Feels kinda stupid to be honest.”
“Not if she helps you, bro,” Eijirou said. “Service dogs are really cool and she looks badass, she’ll suit you.”
“She just keeps jumping on me and sticking her butt up in the air, I don’t know what she wants.”
“She wants you to play, dude,” Eijirou said. “Like throw her toys or play tug of war with her.”
“Oh, right,” Katsuki said. “Feel kinda stupid.”
“You’ve never had a dog before, how are you supposed to know?” Eijirou said.
“You have a dog?”
“My parents have got two labs,” Eijirou said.
“Oh,” Katsuki said. “I don’t know if Aztec will be mine. We have to pass some kind of evaluation or something.”
“I’m sure you guys will, you’ve never failed at anything before,” Eijirou said.
“I guess she’s kinda cute,” Katsuki said. “And badass, like a wolf.”
“Yeah, she’s cool, I can’t wait to meet her.”
“You don’t think it makes me weak? To need her?”
“Katsuki, I know you haven’t been feeling great, and I know you don’t like to talk about it but I can see how jumpy you are. If she makes you feel better, and if she can help you, then that’s great. Of course you’re not weak. So many people use therapy animals.”
“I guess,” Katsuki said.
“Just… don’t resist, okay? I know you, if you don’t want to do something you won’t. And I’m not saying this will work, but just, give it a go, okay?”
“Yeah, I will.”