Chapter Text
Pran didn’t know how he was surviving sleeping in the same room with Pat. He was wide awake, and he could hear him breathing on the floor next to him. He was pretty sure he was still awake, and he confirmed it when Pat spoke.
“Are you sleeping?”
“Yeah,” Pran replied and still didn’t look down at him, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.
“Does your shoulder still hurt?” He asked, and Pran felt weird about the fact that Pat cared about him enough to ask. He remembered seeing him being mad at Korn for pushing him.
“It’s fine now.”
“I saw you talking to Ink after the game…” Pat said slowly and Pran looked to the side and down at him. He had his hands behind his head and he was looking up at the ceiling too. “She gave you a bracelet, right?” Pran looked back up and nodded slowly as he hummed.
“Yeah, just like yours,” he mumbled, pensive before he spoke again. “Can I ask you something?”
“I wanted to ask you something too…” He heard Pat say, but he didn’t dare to look at him.
“Okay, shoot.”
“Do you like Ink?”
“Do you?”
“I asked first.”
“So?”
“Fine, okay, we’ll both say our answers at the count of three, sounds fair?”
“Fine,” Pran mumbled.
“One… Two… Three,” Pat said and Pran felt his heart hammering away in his chest. “Yes.”
“No,” Pran spoke at the same time as Pat. He could almost hear the sound of his heart breaking as soon as he heard Pat’s answer.
“God, that’s a relief… I thought you liked her too,” Pat said with a sigh, Pran was still trying to process the information, but he didn’t want the moment to be awkward.
“Have you confessed to her yet?”
“No…” Pat replied and turned to look at him, still lying on the floor. “Do you think she might like me back?” Pran snorted and shook his head.
“How would I know that?”
“Come on,” Pat said and sat up, placing his elbows on the edge of the bed to look at him, Pran turned. “If you were her, would you like me?” The irony of that question tore him apart. But he still managed to chuckle.
“You? What’s there to like?”
“A lot, come on, think about it,” Pat started to say with a smirk. “I was your drummer in a band… I prevented my friends from beating you up. If you forget the dumpling incident…” Pran chuckled but all he wanted to do was cry; his eyes were getting teary, and he couldn’t bear to look at him, in fear of Pat finding out his feelings. “I helped you with the bus stop, I kept your guitar… A lot of reasons…”
Yeah, and Pran could name even more, probably a few that Pat couldn’t even remember. He was so hopeless, it actually hurt.
“So? Would you like me?” Pat asked, his smirk gone; he actually looked serious about it. Pran stared at him for a few seconds before he said anything.
“I like you,” Pran blurted out without thinking about it and as soon as he said those three words, it was like a huge weight was lifted off his chest. Being able to finally say that to Pat, to his face, it was more rewarding than anything. Especially for the smile that forms on Pat’s lips.
“Right? I’m a good catch,” he said nonchalantly. “I would be a good boyfriend.”
“Yeah, you would,” Pran replied, still a little in a trance at Pat’s words.
“I just don’t know how I should tell her,” he said and leaned back on his palms. Pran sat up a little and rested his cheek on his palm to look down at him. “I didn’t want to step on your toes, that’s why I waited. But now that I know you’re fine with it… It’s a little nerve-wracking.”
“It always is.”
“Have you ever confessed to someone?” Pat asked casually and Pran shook his head slowly.
“No, I haven’t. I’ve never had the guts.”
“But you’ve wanted to do it at some point, right?” Pran simply nodded slowly, not moving his eyes away from Pat’s. “How would you do it?”
“How would I confess to someone?”
“Mh,” Pat hummed in response, he seemed serious about it. Pran bit the inside of his cheek and thought about it for a moment.
“Well, uhm…” He looked down and took a moment before he looked back into Pat’s eyes and spoke. Saying the words that had always been on his mind. “Pat, I like you… I’ve had a crush on you for a long time. And I know you may not like me back, but… Maybe we could go on a date? Give it a chance?” He said, remembering all the times that he’d rehearsed that in front of the mirror.
He was transported back to all the times he almost said those words. He remembered himself on Valentine's Day, with a box of Pat’s favorite chocolates that he later ate all by himself when he saw Pat talking to a girl. Or when he stood in the rain, waiting to congratulate Pat and confess after he won a game, but he saw him leave with his friends and he couldn’t muster up the courage to stop him. Or the forgotten Christmas gift in his backpack, the one he was going to give him after the concert when he confessed and told him that the song was about him. But his parents changed his plans for him.
“But, you know… Change the name, I guess,” Pran mumbled, peddling back all that courage that he’d mustered up. Pat was looking at him with an unreadable expression without breaking eye contact, like he was trying to figure him out.
“Sorry, what was it? Can you say it again?” Pat asked in a whisper. Pran looked him in the eyes before he spoke.
“Pat,” he started, savouring the name on his lips. “I like you. Would you like to go on a date with me?”
Pat stared at him for a few seconds. Pran felt like this was the longest they had held eye contact. He was resting on his palms behind him and he moved his head to the side, resting it against his own shoulder as he tried to figure him out. Pran’s heart was hammering against his chest with the adrenaline of saying those words.
“Do you?” He asked suddenly and Pran tried to keep himself composed.
“Mh?”
“Do you like me?”
Instead of saying anything, knowing that his voice would betray him, he nodded his head very slowly without breaking eye contact, wanting him to understand that he was serious about this. Pat gave him a slow blink before he said anything.
“Do you want to go on a date?” He asked, and Pran’s heart skipped a beat.
“Where would you take me?”
“Mmh…” Pat hummed as he thought about it and finally broke eye contact, looking up for a few moments before he came up with anything. “Let me think about it… I’ll sleep on it, okay?”
“Okay,” Pran replied, his voice sounding small. They both gave each other a small smile before they got settled on the bed to try to sleep again. “Good night,” he mumbled, looking up at the ceiling.
“Good night,” Pat replied from the floor.
It took Pran almost an hour to fall asleep, his heart too restless.
The next day, he left his apartment before Pat even woke up. He still couldn’t believe he’d said that to him. Confessing? Now? Right after Pat literally told him he liked Ink. Was he stupid?
The date proposal was probably just pity. And Pran didn’t want to take pity. He wasn’t a second option. And there was no way Pat could see him with the same eyes after knowing that Pran liked him. Not even the rivalry would be the same. He honestly just wanted to ignore the whole thing and pretend it never happened.
He ended up having to call Pat when he realised he left his thumb drive at home, and he needed i,t but he didn’t have time to go and get it. He was nervous when Pat picked up the call, but their usual bickering and back and forth was still there. Pat made fun of his password and ultimately agreed to go to campus to give it to him.
He had to save Pat from Wai and his friends when they spotted him, and he was still wearing his t-shirt. But at least he was behaving like nothing was going on. Until.
“So, are you free Saturday?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Why?”
“Our date,” Pat replied nonchalantly, a smirk on his face and his hands in his pockets.
“I thought—” Pran started, but then shook his head. “Listen, if you’re doing this out of pity, you don’t have to, okay? We can just forget this whole thing happened and you can focus on Ink.”
“Hey, I asked you out on a date and you said yes, why are you backing out?”
“I didn’t technically say yes. I just asked where would you take me,” Pran said, remembering every single word from the night before.
“Yeah, and I already have the perfect place in mind,” Pat said with a huge smile, Pran frowned.
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise, you’re gonna have to come to find out.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. Why do I have to convince you? I thought you wanted to go on a date.”
“And I thought you liked Ink.”
“I don’t understand. Do you not want me to give you a chance?”
“Are you actually?”
“Yeah. Yes, I am,” Pat said, convinced of himself. Pran studied his expression for a few seconds before he spoke.
“If this is some kind of sick joke…”
“It’s not! Just tell me if you’re free this Saturday,” Pat said as he groaned, now sounding a little frustrated.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Great, I’ll text you,” he told him with a smile before he left. Pran stood there for a long while, trying to understand what had just happened. He actually had a date with Pat.
Pat didn’t know why he lied and said that he had the perfect place in mind. He didn’t. He had no clue where to take Pran, he just didn’t want him to back out on it.
He still remembered the first and only time he ever got rejected. He was fourteen and he confessed to a girl from his summer camp. He didn’t even ask her to be his girlfriend; he simply wanted her to be her partner on the next hiking trip, just so they could get to talk and get to know each other. He was immediately rejected without her even trying to get to know him.
After that, it was kind of his motto. Everyone deserves a chance. Why not? Even Pran. He’d never thought about men that way, but he was open-minded and he’s always known that Pran was attractive. It was kind of a shock to find out about Pran’s feelings. Even he was nervous during the whole interaction. But there was something about Pran’s words, and the way he was looking at him… He wasn’t telling him how to confess; those words were true for Pran.
He thought he was imagining things the first time Pran said it. But the second confirmed it for him. He was still nervous when he asked him if he liked him, Pran was the type of person to laugh at him and tell him that it was a joke just to mock him. But when he nodded slowly, Pat’s heart skipped a beat. He had to try, not even for Pran, just for himself.
He just didn’t know where to take him.
His experience on first dates was practically nonexistent. At least not serious ones. The last ‘relationship’ he had was in high school with a girl who made out with him on his birthday. They lasted three months. The only other ‘first date’ he had was when he was sixteen and he agreed to go with a girl to watch a movie that he ended up hating.
But this was Pran, he didn’t want to fuck it up and he actually wanted to try.
“Paa, where would you take someone on a date?” He asked suddenly while Paa was having dinner with him in his dorm. She snapped her head up and looked at him in shock.
“You have a date?”
“Not if I don’t decide where to go.”
“With Ink?”
“No, no, not Ink…”
“I thought you liked Ink.”
“I know, but someone else confessed to me and I want to give it a try…”
“Why? Do you like her?” Paa asked teasingly and leaned closer. Pat simply rolled his eyes.
“Well, I want to find out. On the date that I haven’t planned yet.”
“That really depends on the other person, doesn’t it? What does she like?”
“I don’t know! Aren’t first dates supposed to be pretty standard, like a walk on the beach or something?”
“What if she hates sand on her shoes?” Paa asked, and Pat was getting a little tired of the wrong pronoun being used. Did he have to clarify? He didn’t really want to.
“Okay then, what’s a date you would like?”
“You’re not dating me! Think about the other person.”
“Oh my God, Paa, you’re not helping!”
“How did you even get a date? Do you like this person? You should know where to take them and what they like.”
“It’s someone I haven’t thought about romantically. But it’s someone I care about… So I want to give it a fair shot.”
“That’s… Actually very nice of you, Pat.”
“Thanks, will you please help me now?”
“Okay, fine…” Paa leaned back and thought about it for a moment. “What about going to the movies?”
“Definitely not,” he said immediately.
“Okay. What about dinner?”
“I want it to be romantic. I’ve already had dinner with him before, so I don’t know if it will be any different,” he said and sighed frustratedly. He looked at Paa when he didn’t hear a response.
“Wait. Him?” She asked and Pat immediately realised his mistake.
“Shit,” Pat whispered and brought a hand up to cover his mouth.
“No, no, it’s fine, it’s fine,” Paa immediately tried to reassure him when she noticed the sheer horror in Pat’s eyes. “I just… I don’t know, I wasn’t expecting it. You like men too?”
“I don’t— I don’t know. Just like I don’t know if I like him. But… I think it could be worth giving it a try. I don’t think it will be awkward between us if I end up saying no. So I don’t feel any pressure, honestly. I just… I wanna see where it goes.”
“Okay, that’s cool,” Paa said as she nodded. “You said you had dinner with him already?”
“Yeah, but casually. As friends, you know?”
“Right, and you can’t cook for shit…” She said and thought about it for a moment. “What if you take him to a fancy restaurant? Those ones that are clearly for couples. You know, with only tables for two, low light, ambience music…”
“Oh, he likes music. Maybe I can find one with a live band or something.”
“Now we’re talking!” Paa exclaimed and clapped her hands. “You have to treat it like a date, though. You’re setting it up so you pay for it, pull out his chair, all of it.”
“But he’s still a guy, what if he doesn’t like that?”
“Everyone likes being taken care of. Especially by the person they like.”
“Okay, what else?”
“Be yourself. He already likes you, so you have nothing to lose. Well, at least try to be yourself…” She finished and laughed.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know, when you’re with someone you like, you usually behave differently.”
“Do you?”
“Yeah! Listen, there are three signs to know if you like someone. You can’t act like yourself around them,” she started listing off as she raised her fingers. “Eye contact, very important, it’s all in the eyes, you’ll know when you see it. And obviously, touch, when you touch, the physical response will give you a hint. Maybe you can go for a walk after dinner? Try to hold his hand or something.”
Pat was getting a little overwhelmed with all the information. But he tried to remember everything.
“Okay… Anything else?”
“Well, there’s another one. You usually want to know if the person you like is single, but you probably already know that if he confessed to you.”
“Fine…” Pat mumbled and looked down. “Well, now I’m nervous…”
“Don’t be, he clearly likes you. I don’t know why, but he does.”
“Hey,” he complained as he chuckled and pushed her. Paa laughed at him.
“Yeah, so just be yourself. Don’t treat him like your bro though, flirt with him.”
“I’ve never flirted with him, how do I just start doing that out of nowhere?”
“It’s a date, you’ll get the vibe. If he likes you, he’ll welcome it. But you are terrible, so I don’t even know if you can flirt.”
“I can flirt!” Paa raised her eyebrow and gave him a dubious look.
“We’ll see. When is the date happening?”
“This Saturday.”
“Okay, good luck.”
Pat sighed and leaned back as he immediately pulled out his phone to start looking for restaurants. Two days later he was still looking. He didn’t know there were so many places around that had live music. But there were a lot of boxes that he wanted to check. He needed the music to be something that Pran liked, so nothing with DJs, it had to have a band with a guitarist. He also wanted the menu to be Thai, Pran absolutely loved local food, and he still remembered his favorite food, so he always checked the menu to see if they had it. But most restaurants with a live band were places for tourists so they didn’t have good local food.
He also wanted it to be in a nice area so they could go for a walk after, it couldn’t be a family restaurant because he didn’t want any kids running around, and it couldn’t be too famous because he didn’t want it to be packed with people. And he needed it to be within budget because he wanted to pay for the whole thing so he couldn’t pick an expensive restaurant.
After checking literally every restaurant in Bangkok, he finally found the one. It had a nice little live band that played on Saturdays, the food was local, and the menu was only in Thai so he knew there wouldn’t be any tourists or too many people in there. It was next to the river and the pictures of the restaurant were beautiful. So he made a call and made a reservation, a nice old lady answered the phone and took his name and the time.
The only problem was that it was way too far away to tell Pran to meet there or even to take a cab, because it would be too expensive. And taking public transport was completely out of the question. So he ran into a new problem: having to ask his dad for the car.
His dad made it pretty clear that he was only going to give him the car after he got good grades on his first year of uni. Before that, he could only use the car for emergencies. And this definitely wasn’t an emergency. But he still wanted to try. So he went home on Thursday to have dinner with his parents. He tried to leave the question to the end, when he thought that his dad was in a good mood and he wouldn’t think that he only came home to get the car.
“Mh, by the way, can I use the car on Saturday?” He said nonchalantly while they were finishing up dinner.
“Do you have an away game or something?” He asked and Pat pressed his lips together, he hadn’t thought of a lie. His father would definitely find out if he lied about rugby; he was friends with the coach.
“Uhm, no…”
“You know the rules, only for an emergency. Is it an emergency?”
“Well, no, but…” He started to say but his dad shook his head. He looked back at Paa, who gave him an encouraging nod. Pat sighed and decided to just be honest. “I actually… I have a date on Saturday, and I thought that maybe…” He saw his dad freeze and look up from his food, he knew all eyes were on him and he suddenly felt nervous.
“Really?” His dad asked, surprised. He never talked about his love life with his parents, so it was definitely a shock for them. “Is this a girlfriend or something?”
“No, it’s— It’s just a first date. But I wanted to make a good impression, you know?” His dad chuckled and he knew that was a good sign.
“Ah, that’s my son. You know? I took my car to the wash before I went to pick up your mom for our first date, remember?” His mom chuckled and shook her head. “Fine, you can take it. For the sake of making an impression.”
Pat smiled widely when he heard that. His dad was a traditional guy and he knew he would win him over if he told him about trying to impress a girl the good old-fashioned way. He didn’t think Pran would be impressed by that; he just needed to get to the restaurant without spending forty minutes on the metro.
“Where are you going?” His mom asked him curiously.
“Oh, this little restaurant near the river, it’s a bit far though, hence the car.”
“Wow, dinner on the first date? Must be serious…” His dad commented and they all chuckled. Pat shook his head and chuckled too, but he refrained from telling them anything about the date or who it was with.
Everything was turning out perfectly and he didn’t want to ruin it. He was a little more chipper when he went back to the dorms the next day and run into Pran on the hallway.
“Hey, are we still on for tomorrow?”
“I don’t know, are we?” Pran asked as he pulled out his keys to open his door. “You haven’t said anything about it in days.”
“I was just setting it up.”
“So? Did you?” Pran asked and turned to look at him with a smile.
“Yeah, how about eight p.m. tomorrow?”
“Sure, yeah. What are we doing? Or is it still a surprise?”
“Just dinner,” Pat replied and shrugged.
“Dinner?”
“You don’t like it?”
“No, dinner’s fine,” Pran said as he chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“See you tomorrow,” Pat replied and went into his room too.
The next day, Pat was resting against his car in front of the dorm’s building, waiting for Pran to come out. He was a little nervous; he’d never put too much thought into any date, and he still didn’t know if that was any indicator of his feelings.
He looked up when he heard steps and saw Pran coming out of the building. He was wearing a white sweater with his khaki pants and a pair of white sneakers. Pran would be the only person actually pulling off a sweater in Thailand’s weather, and he always looked good. Pat chose a black shirt that made his muscles look good, even if he didn’t know if Pran would like that. He knew girls did, so maybe Pran did too. Did he want to impress him?
“Hey,” Pran greeted him with a smile, Pat pushed away from the car and smiled too. “We’re driving there?”
“It’s a little far,” Pat replied and opened the car door for him. He saw Pran raise his eyebrows with an impressed expression as he got on the passenger seat. Pat hadn’t even thought about it too much; it just came naturally to him. Usually, Pran would complain and reject anything that Pat did for him, because he thought it was mocking. But it definitely felt different when Pran just went along with it; he seemed to like it even.
It was only a twenty-minute drive, thankfully. It was just in a secluded part of the city, not really accessible if you didn’t have a car. They talked the whole way there, it was easy talking to Pran; it always had been. They talked about the latest fight between their friends, Pran talked a little about the class that he was having a hard time with and Pat complained about his last rugby match. It felt natural, but it didn’t feel any different than what they usually did.
Once they got to the restaurant, Pat parked close by and they both walked in. It was pretty much empty, aside from two other couples, they were sat near the window and he noticed Pran looking around the place in awe. Pat only noticed he hadn’t pulled out his chair as soon as they both sat down, so he clicked his tongue.
“What?” Pran asked when he heard him as he pulled his chair closer to the table.
“Nothing,” Pat mumbled and shook his head just as the waiter came to give them two menus.
Pran seemed to bury himself on the menu, clearly a little nervous now that they were on the date. Pat had already checked the menu online and he knew what he wanted, so he pretended to decide as he sneakily looked up at Pran.
“Anything you like?”
“Mh, I think I’m gonna get Khao Soi,” Pran mumbled as he read the menu. Pat smiled to himself, he already knew Pran was going to get that. “What about you? Wait—- Let me guess… Panang curry?” Pran teased as he pointed at him with a finger. Pat chuckled and nodded slowly.
“Do you want anything to share?” Pat asked and looked back down at the menu.
“To share? You mean eat it all by yourself?”
“I’ll share. I’ll even give you the biggest part,” he replied and they both started laughing.
He leaned closer and pointed at one of the appetisers that he wanted to try.
“That’s spicy,” Pran said casually. “What about this?” Pat snapped his eyes up at him, surprised that he still remembered that he couldn’t handle spice. It was weird being with Pran like that, he seemed more mellow, a little more reserved, instead of their constant bickering and arguing.
After a couple of minutes, the waiter came to ask them for their order and then left after writing it down. They both ordered beer, he definitely needed to relax a little bit, and Pran looked tense too. He couldn’t blame him, first dates were always a little nerve-wracking, even if you already knew the other person.
“This place is really nice…” Pran mumbled, looking around. They had a view of the river right next to them and the lighting was almost magical, with fairy lights around the window and candles on the tables. The window was wide open, so they had a nice breeze too. “How did you even find it?” He asked and looked back at him.
“Uh—” Pat froze for a second, he didn’t want to tell him that he’d spent literal hours scrolling through restaurant pictures and menus. “Someone recommended it to me,” he replied casually and smiled at the waiter when he brought them their beers.
“Who?”
“What?” Pat asked, a little confused.
“Who recommended it?” Pran asked casually as he sipped his drink.
“Uhm… Paa,” he replied, knowing that she would at least back him up if Pran ever asked. “You like it?”
“Yeah, it’s really nice…” Pran mumbled and looked out the window.
Pat stared at him for a few seconds, not knowing what to say. But Pran didn’t seem phased by the silence; he had his elbows resting on the table as he admired the pretty little restaurant that Pat had picked exactly for him. He felt a weird sense of pride at knowing that Pran was acknowledging his effort. He just hoped that the food was good.
They were both startled when the band started playing music; they hadn’t even noticed them setting up. Pran whipped his head back, not expecting there to be a live band, but clearly happy about it.
“Wait, what?” He asked and looked back at Pat. “Did you know there was going to be live music?”
“Yeah, I picked it because of that,” Pat replied easily, trying to sound nonchalant. Pran smiled widely and looked back at the band playing a soft tune.
After a few moments, Pran had to look back at the table since the band was behind him.
“Sorry…” He apologised, knowing that it was a little rude to pay attention to what was behind him instead of the date.
“Do you wanna sit here?” Pat asked, starting to get up. Pran shook his head.
“No, no, then I’ll be distracted by the band.”
“So? I picked it because I knew you would like it.”
“Okay…” Pran replied and got up to switch seats with him so he wouldn’t have to turn around every time he wanted to look at the band.
Pat stood next to his seat and this time he moved the chair for him before going to the other side of the table. They switched their drinks back when Pat sat down.
“Now I feel like…” Pran started to say and chuckled. “Those men that can’t move their eyes away from the TV when they go to a restaurant that’s playing a soccer game… You know what they say, never sit behind a TV if you want them to pay attention to you,” he joked and Pat laughed.
“If there were a soccer match, we would both be watching.”
“But we wouldn’t be rooting for the same team.”
“Well, depends. We always root for the same team during the World Cup, right?”
“Yeah, true…”
“Remember during high school? I think that’s the only time that all of our classmates agreed on something.”
“Yeah, how do we manage to always have such divided friend groups?”
“Because we’re both very different?” Pat guessed as he shrugged.
“Well, at least our friend groups didn’t genuinely hate each other when we were in high school. I feel like if we keep going at this rate, one of them is gonna have murder charges before we graduate…” Pran mumbled and reached for one of the dumplings that the waiter had just brought them.
“Maybe let’s not talk about that…” Pat said and Pran looked at him, frowning as he chewed. “I just— I’m a little tired of the rivalry, if I’m being honest. And I don’t wanna think about that now.”
“Okay…” Pran mumbled, albeit a little confused. It was a little weird having a first date with someone you already knew so much about, there wasn’t a lot that Pat could ask. Maybe one thing.
“Was it true what you said?”
“What did I say?”
“When you said you’ve had a crush on me for a while now…”
Pran sighed and looked down, not meeting his eyes.
“I’m not feeding your ego…”
“You’re not, I just— I need to know.”
“Why?”
“Because… I don’t know, it would make me look at our interactions in a different way.”
“For what? Just to humiliate myself?”
“What? Pran. No, that’s not it. Do you genuinely think that liking me is humiliating?”
“Okay, you’re twisting my words…”
“Listen, I’m not gonna judge you or make fun of you. I’m literally just curious.”
“Well, I don’t know Pat. It was gradual. I liked you one day and the next day, you were a dick to me. Hard to pinpoint when I actually accepted the fact that I had feelings for you,” Pran said without meeting his eyes. The confession sounded genuine, but he seemed mad having to admit that. “And why does it even matter? You’ve liked Ink for way longer. I don’t even know why we’re here,” he mumbled and actually stabbed one of the dumplings with a chopstick, resting his cheek on his palm. Pat knew that it wasn’t going well and he needed to do something to change that. What even were all the signs that Paa had taught him?
“Because I care about you,” Pat replied easily and Pran finally looked up at him.
“That doesn’t mean you like me. You go on dates when you like someone, you know? Not just because you care, then it’s just cordial.”
“Can you—? Fuck, Pran. Can you at least let me try?” Pat asked, a little exasperated now. Pran gave him a confused look. “Do you think I’m doing this just because? This is hard for me too, you know? I’m putting myself out there. Why aren’t you giving me a chance? I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.”
Pran raised an eyebrow at him and kept his mouth shut in the two seconds that the waiter brought them their second appetiser.
“You don’t even like men.”
“How do you know?”
“Come on, Pat,” Pran snorted and shook his head. “You’re like the epitome of a straight dude.”
“So?”
“You won’t like me.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because we hate each other.”
“You clearly don’t hate me,” Pat said. They were both leaning closer, trying to keep their voices down so they wouldn’t disturb anyone else in the restaurant.
“But we argue all the time,” Pran reminded him and rolled his eyes. “And I’m nothing like your type, okay? Trust me, I’ve looked at the girls you liked long enough to know that I have nothing in common with them.”
“How do you know that?”
“Well, for starters, I’m a guy,” he said and chuckled as he looked at him. “I’m rude to you, my cleanliness and quirks annoy you, our families hate each other, our friends also hate each other, and I don’t think you could ever actually be attracted to me,” he spewed out like it was actual venom. “So let’s just… Enjoy the food and save ourselves the joke, okay?”
Pat simply snorted and looked down, shaking his head slowly.
“You know?” He mumbled before he looked him in the eyes. “You’re very bad at this date thing…” Pran rolled his eyes at that. “And if you genuinely believe that all of that is true, you’re delusional.”
“It is.”
“No, it’s not…” Pat said and reached for one of the dumplings as he chuckled. “Well, yeah, you are a guy and everyone we know hates each other. But that has nothing to do with liking someone, because you like me, right?”
“But—”
“And don’t even try to sell me this whole thing about how we hate each other because we both know it’s not true. We’ve been doing it for years, Pran. Pretending to hate each other. There’s no actual animosity between us and you know that. At least not like people think there is. Yeah, we bicker and argue, but it’s always about mundane things. When have I ever done something to actually hurt you? Because I know you haven’t. I would never want to hurt you, and I know you wouldn’t either.” Pran just stared at him, not knowing what to say. “And your quirks don’t annoy me. I think they’re funny…” He mumbled and grabbed Pran’s chopsticks to tap them twice on the table to check if they were the same length. “Cute sometimes. Like your dimples. I did say that, didn’t I? That I think your dimples are cute?”
“Yeah, you did…” Pran mumbled, taking back his chopsticks and looking at him a little dumbfounded.
“My sister says I’m bad at flirting… I think I can prove her wrong.”
“Really?” Pran asked with a smirk. “If you think I started liking you for your flirting, you are very mistaken.”
“What? You think you’re better than me?” Pat asked, a challenge in his tone.
“Of course I’m better than you.”
“You can’t even accept a date properly. Have you even had any dates previous to this one?”
“As a matter of fact, I have,” Pran said, chin raised proudly. Pat frowned when he heard that.
“You have? With who?”
“You don’t know them…” Pran shrugged and grabbed another dumpling. Pat was quick to snatch it off his chopsticks with his own, which made Pran gasp.
“That sounds like a lie,” he said and ate the dumpling.
“It’s not! You genuinely won’t know them. They were from the time I was in boarding school.”
“Oh, Wai?” Pran snorted and shook his head.
“Please, I would never date Wai…”
“Then who did you date?” Pat pressed and suddenly Paa’s words flashed through his head.
You usually want to know if the person you like is single.
“I don’t know… Some guy from my class. Just forget about it, we didn’t even get to a second date…” Pran mumbled and grabbed the last dumpling.
“Why not?” Pran chewed slowly before looking up at him.
“Because I didn’t want to have sex with him on the first date,” he replied, trying to sound nonchalant. But Pat raised his eyebrows, surprised.
“What a dickhead.”
“Men…” Pran mumbled and shrugged.
“I’m a man.”
“Exactly.”
“You’re a man too.”
“We can’t all be perfect,” Pran shrugged again and they both started laughing.
He was at least glad he was able to ease the tension. But now he was curious about Pran’s dating history, extremely curious. But he knew that talking about exes wasn’t exactly something one should do on a first date.
“Have you always known?” Pat asked while they ate. Now they had all of their food on the table, and Pat had to admit, the curry was amazing.
“Known what?” Pran asked casually as he chewed.
“That you like… Men?”
“Mh…” Pran hummed and looked at him a little taken aback by the question. “I don’t know, what does ‘always’ mean? ‘Cause I definitely wasn’t thinking about that when I was a kid.”
“When did you notice, then?”
“Why do you care?” Pran mumbled and buried himself in his chair as he avoided his eyes. Pat noticed a hint of blush on his cheeks.
“Wait…” Pat started to say, smirking to himself. “Was I your awakening?” He asked, sounding a little cocky.
“Shut up,” Pran said and immediately stepped on his foot under the table. But Pat was unfazed, he moved both of his feet and grabbed Pran’s ankle between his legs so he wouldn’t be able to move his foot again. “Pat,” he complained, not trying to make a scene. Thankfully, the tablecloth covered their legs.
“So what was it?” He asked, teasingly, leaning closer to him over the table. “When did you realise you liked men?” Pran shook his head slowly and avoided his eyes. “Come on, was it in the locker rooms? After I started showing some muscle?” He teased, knowing that he was riling him up. “Or maybe across the window… I do have a tendency to walk around naked in my room.”
“You’re very superficial, you know that?” Pran said, finally looking at him. Pat laughed.
“I know my assets.”
“I wouldn’t like someone just for their looks.”
“My personality?” Pat said and placed his fingers on his chin. Pran rolled his eyes and sighed, leaning back against his chair.
“I’m not feeding your ego.”
“I like your personality,” Pat said and Pran gave him a confused look. “I like how you pretend not to care about me, but you clearly do. And also most of the times I know you’re pretending to be annoyed by me, but you love the attention I give you. And you never bullshit me, I know if I wanna hear the truth, I can always go to you.”
Pran stared at him for a few moments without knowing what to say.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Give and take, right? I want to know what you like about me,” Pat said with a smile and leaned against the table.
“You’re an asshole,” Pran said immediately and Pat flinched at the words. “You act like you’re cool all the time and better than everyone, and like you don’t care about anything. But you do, and I know that. Watching you… All my life, doing stuff for everyone else when you thought no one was watching… It made me feel like I knew a side of you that nobody else did,” Pran sighed and looked down and then back at the band, trying to avoid his gaze. “Made me feel special.”
Pat was completely speechless. The only thing he could do was watch Pran’s expression as he looked at the band behind him. Pran was looking past his shoulder but he must’ve known that Pat was looking at him. The song playing was soft and melodic; there wasn’t a singer so it was just a tune. He could tell Pran was enjoying it and he was using it to calm his nerves. Admitting all of that wasn’t easy. It was a little easier for Pat because he still wasn’t sure about his feelings. But it must’ve been hard for Pran, saving all of that deep in his heart and then having to say it out loud.
He studied his expression for a few seconds until, finally, Pran moved his eyes slowly back to Pat and they made eye contact again. Pat’s heart started beating a little faster and he gripped his chopsticks. He’d always been told that his eyes were intense, but Pran’s… He didn’t know why those doe eyes felt like he was staring right down at his soul.
Eye contact, very important; it’s all in the eyes. You’ll know when you see it.
He remembered Paa’s words and had to swallow around a lump in his throat. He looked down at Pran’s lips unconsciously when he brought his chopsticks up to eat. But he frowned when he noticed what he was eating.
“Hey! Did you steal that from my plate?” Pat asked when he noticed he was eating a piece of curry chicken. Pran immediately started laughing.
“You were distracted!” Pat laughed too and shook his head as he grabbed his chopsticks again. “Okay, should we… I don’t know, ask ‘first date’ questions?” Pran asked after he chewed and Pat gave him a confused look.
“Like what?”
“Mh… I don’t know. Stuff we don’t know about each other.”
“Okay. Have you ever dated anyone before this? Like, seriously?”
“That’s not something you should ask on a first date,” Pran said and pointed at him with his chopsticks. He tried to move his leg from in between Pat’s, since one of his ankles was still resting against Pat’s. But Pat stopped him from doing that, leaving their legs tangled.
“But that’s something I don’t know about you… And I want to.”
“No, Pat…” Pran finally replied and rolled his eyes. “If you really must know… I’ve never dated anyone else. Now you.”
“Nothing serious, I guess. Just a few girls here and there,” Pat replied and shrugged. “Never lasted more than a couple of months.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing,” Pran said and shrugged, a smirk on his face. “Just… You know, I was surprised to hear that you hadn’t told Ink yet. You always got whoever you wanted…”
Pat leaned back and took a sip from his beer.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said suddenly. “Not the topic for a first date.”
“You’re the one who wanted to know about my dating history.”
“I didn’t know you had one,” Pat said and Pran chuckled.
“What? You don’t think I can date?”
“I thought you liked me,” Pat teased him with a smirk.
“Oh God, why did I ever tell you that?” Pran mumbled and buried his face in his hands. “Why are we even doing this? Even if you liked me, which you don’t, we can’t date. Our parents hate each other.”
“You’re a pessimist, you know?”
“Yeah , yes I am. I’ve liked the same guy for years and he’s never paid attention to me, of course I’m a pessimist,” Pran snapped.
“Years?” Pat pressed and Pran leaned back, avoiding his eyes.
“Shut up,” he mumbled to himself.
“Pran, I’m not…” Pat smiled and leaned forward. “I’m not trying to understand you just to feed my ego, okay? I actually want to know about it because…”
“Don’t say you care about me again,” Pran tried to stop him.
“Why not? It’s the truth.”
“It kind of hurts, you know? You’re just friend-zoning me.”
“We’re not friends. We both know that. So I can’t exactly friendzone you,” Pat said and left his spoon on his empty plate once he finished. “And I’m taking you out on a date. You know, that’s how it usually works, you go on a first date, then a second…”
“That’s if we get to a second date,” Pran said and rolled his eyes.
“Why wouldn’t we?”
“A lot of reasons. Mainly: you don’t like me.”
“You’re not doing much to change that, you know?”
“What? I’m supposed to flirt with you?”
“That’s what people do on dates.”
“You’re not flirting with me,” Pran said and crossed his arms over his chest. Pat smirked, why did he find that cute?
“You know what? I lied,” Pat blurted out and Pran gave him a confused look. “Paa didn’t recommend this restaurant to me. I looked for it, and it took me hours. I browsed through all the restaurants in Bangkok to find the perfect one for you,” he reveiled and smiled proudly when he saw Pran’s shocked expression. “I wanted live music that you liked, with your favorite food, in a nice area. Everything to make you happy. So? Did you like it?” He asked and pointed at his empty plate with his chin.
Pran stared at him with wide eyes, trying to process the information clearly. Pat was smiling, satisfied at Pran’s shocked face.
“What?” Pran asked, his mouth still full from the last bite that he hadn’t finished chewing.
“Do you like the place? The food was good, I mean, you cleaned the plate, right?” He said, cockily. Pran swallowed and took a few seconds before he answered.
“Wait, what? You… You looked for this place, for me?” Pat nodded proudly. Pran looked at the band over his shoulder. He’d been doing that all night, smiling when he liked one of the songs or looking around in awe, he clearly liked it. “I— Uh, thank you… Yeah, I really like it.”
“At least I’m trying.”
Pran squinted his eyes at him and leaned closer.
“You want me to flirt with you? Fine,” Pran said and moved his leg under the table to hook his ankle behind Pat’s knee so he could bring him closer. Their legs had been tangled under the table the whole night since Pat grabbed it, but now Pran was intentional. “You want dessert?”
“Depends, are we sharing?” Pat asked, teasing him back, which made Pran smile. He nodded with a hum and called over the waiter so he could bring them the dessert menu.
When Pat had the menu in his hands he leaned over the table so they could read it together. Pran leaned too and Pat didn’t miss the way that he leaned a little too closely. Pat suddenly couldn’t concentrate on what he was trying to read, too distracted by Pran’s breath close to his cheek.
“This one?” Pran asked, his voice soft, Pat could only nod quickly.
A few minutes later, the table was cleared and they had a slice of cheesecake in the middle. Pat hadn’t had cheesecake in a long time. He grabbed one of the little spoons and waited for Pran to grab his own piece with his spoon. But before Pat could even raise his spoon, Pran held his hand up to him, offering him the piece he just grabbed. Pat stared at him for a few seconds and then the cake in front of him. Pran had a grin on his face, and he was looking at him with those doe eyes, waiting for him to take the bite.
Pat smiled and leaned forward, eating the bite Pran was offering him. He chewed slowly while Pran looked at him with a smile, he raised his free hand and Pat looked at him with a frown before he swiped his finger on the corner of his mouth, wiping away whatever residue was left.
“Messy eater…” Pran mumbled and grabbed another piece with his spoon to eat it himself. The same spoon that Pat had just used. He stared him right in the eyes while he did that.
Pat smiled and shook his head slowly, looking down. Pran definitely knew how to rile someone up. They somehow got through dessert, Pran feeding him his part while he ate his own between Pat’s bites. Once they were done, Pran grabbed a napkin and carefully cleaned his fingers.
“I’ll go to the bathroom quickly,” he said as he got up.
Pat waited until Pran was gone to call over the waiter and ask for the check, he paid before Pran got back.
“So? Should we pay and leave?” Pran asked as soon as he sat down in front of him again. The band was done, so they didn’t have to be there anymore. He reached for his wallet, but Pat stopped him as he got up.
“Don’t worry, I paid already,” he said and saw Pran’s surprised expression. “Let’s go.”
Pran nodded and got up, clearly taken aback by the gesture. Before leaving, he approached the band and congratulated them, telling them that he’d enjoyed the music a lot. Meanwhile, Pat spoke to the old lady at the front door and told her that the food was amazing and that they would definitely be coming back. The best reward was seeing Pran’s bright smile while they walked out.
He immediately went to the car but Pat stopped him.
“Let’s go for a walk. I’m still a little too full…” Pat said and Pran nodded.
“Okay,” he mumbled and followed him. They walked, side-by-side, along the river, in silence.
Pat didn’t exactly know what to say, it wasn’t like he had anything to say to Pran. And he always felt like he was comfortable enough around him that they didn’t really have a lot of awkward silences. But he was usually more talkative during a date, more flirty. He always had something to say, or a question to ask. He didn’t know what was wrong with him.
When you’re with someone you like, you usually behave differently.
He remembered Paa’s words and also the whole reason he even wanted to take a walk with Pran. He turned his head to look at him and smiled when he saw Pran looking down at the river with a soft expression. He looked… Peaceful. Like he was enjoying himself around him even if they weren’t talking or doing anything in particular.
And obviously touch, when you touch, the physical response will give you a hint.
Pat tried to walk closer to him, his heart hammering away at his chest. Pran had his hand on his side and it was right there, he just needed to sway his a little closer and he would be able to hold it. He didn’t know if it would be weird at first, but he needed to know, at least try.
He casually moved his hand closer while they walked side-by-side and accidentally touched the back of Pran’s hand with his own. The second their hands touched, Pat’s stomach flipped. He pushed through and interlaced their fingers together, feeling like his heart was about to jump out of his chest.
I like him… He thought to himself, the revelation clear in his mind. I like Pran. Holy shit.
Pran was looking down at their intertwined hands, clearly a little out of it from the gesture. But Pat didn’t miss the small smile on his face.
“I’m sorry… For being so difficult tonight…” Pran mumbled and they both stopped walking. Pran rested his hip on the railing that separated them from the river, but he didn’t let go of his hand.
“You weren’t, I had fun,” Pat assured him. “You’re always like this, I feel like it would’ve been a little weird if we… I don’t know, tried to do something that we’re not used to. I actually like your attitude.”
“No you don’t,” Pran said and snorted.
“Didn’t I say it before? You never bullshit me. I mean, yeah, you could be nicer sometimes. But it’s not like I’m a walk in the park. I don’t know how you even started liking me…”
“You gave a lot of reasons the other day…” Pran mumbled, remembering the time that Pat asked him if he would like him. He was fidgeting with his fingers of the hand Pat was still holding; it wasn’t something they usually did, but he kind of liked it.
“But none of those are the reason you like me, right?” Pran smiled and shook his head, looking him in the eye.
“Do you like hearing that?” Pran teased him.
“What?”
“That I like you,” he replied easily. Pat chuckled and threaded their fingers together.
“It’s a bit of a whiplash from the way that you talk to me… But yeah,” he took a step forward, leaning into Pran’s space. “But it’s only fun talking to you. You might hate me but it’s kinda fun making you angry…” He raised his free hand and pressed a finger between Pran’s eyebrows. “You get these wrinkles when you frown, and you always show this one dimple when you bite the inside of your cheek.”
Pran looked up at him with a small smile after Pat pressed a finger on his left dimple.
“Well, in my defence… I really like you. So I always get flustered around you and I end up saying stuff I don’t mean,” Pran admitted and Pat felt his stomach flip. He said it so nonchalantly, like it meant nothing, even though Pat knew that it must’ve been something hard to admit. He opened his mouth to say something but Pran cut him off. “Should we go? It’s getting late…”
“Okay,” Pat mumbled, and they walked back to the car.
The ride back was a little more light-hearted. They talked about the food, and the music, and what they were going to do for the weekend. Pran was going to hang out with Wai, which Pat did not like. At least now he knew why.
He was bold enough to reach over the console and grab Pran’s hand casually. He could tell Pran got nervous at first, because he stammered, but he threaded their fingers together while he kept his eyes on the road and they continued talking as if nothing had happened.
When they stopped in the hallway, right in front of their doors, Pat was still holding Pran’s hand.
“Well, uh… Thank you for taking me there. I really liked it.”
“I liked it too,” Pat replied with a smile. Before he could doubt himself, he pulled on Pran’s hand to bring him into a hug. Pran instinctively raised his arms and wrapped them around his shoulders. Pat placed his hands on his waist.
They took a step back and Pat looked down, gulping down a knot when he realised how close their faces were for a second. He leaned back and smiled at him.
“Well… I’ll text you,” Pat said calmly while Pran took out his keys.
“Yeah, see you— Uh… See you around,” Pran mumbled and opened the door. He walked backwards, not being able to wipe his smile off his face or look away from Pat’s eyes. Pat nodded and buried his hands in his pockets. Pran closed the door, and Pat let out a sigh of relief. He immediately brought a hand up to his chest, feeling his heart going a hundred miles an hour. The date had certainly been enlightening.