Chapter Text
He was so dumbfounded… And he remained like that for a while. He almost missed the voice of an intruding maiden.
“My lord, would you like to dine in the hall?”
“No... I won’t take dinner.”
“As you wish.”
Once she left, Shen Qingqiu gripped at his face. His shivers persisted, and his thoughts were still blurred — even several hours after the exchange in Binghe’s quarters.
He curled up in a ball, finding solace in holding one of the pillows tight, “Qingge…”
He closed his eyes, a soft smile on his face. His breath finally calmed. Though, every happy dream ended up with the same bad joke. Dumped — by his lover.
_____________________________________________________________________________
“What are you waiting for…?” he crossed his arms impatiently, tapping his feet on the ground. “Move!”
“Huh!?”
“I said — get out of my sight.”
“What are you saying?”
Shen Qingqiu was affronted at first. But a twinge of distress struck him when the war lord didn’t back off. He closed the distance between them and cupped Qingge’s angled jaw. Tenderly — to hush him.
Qingge broke the moment stepping back. Shen’s hands hung in the air, pathetically.
“What has got to you?” he said, withdrawing his hands. “Why are you taking out on me?”
Liu Qingge turned to the side, tightening his crossed arms.
“It’s not related with today…”
“Oh, really?” he huffed, condescending. “Well, I can’t believe you, my dear…”
Again, Liu Qingge’s argument was vague. Shen Qingqiu’s clenched hands in fists. However, he spoke in the calmest tone he could.
“Let’s talk calmly on a stroll.”
“No.”
No visible reaction… And yet, Shen Qingqiu recognized a flicker of heartbreak in his eyes. Was it only the battlefield’s defeat? Or was his heart squeezing over his own words?
“No…? Okay, rest. Just… make sure to share your thoughts whenever you’re ready.”
“It doesn’t matter,” he sighed, rubbing his temples. “I’m already telling you that I’ … I’m not coming back to talk about it.”
Shen couldn’t believe it. Liu Qingge really turned around and walked away. Just like that.
“You expect to leave without an explanation!? Ta — “
“Stop being a nuisance!” he snarled. “Will you?”
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widened — and watered. Qingge had never raised his voice to him. Never like that...
The air was taut. Heh… He was probably being ooc with that hurt lamb-like expression. Liu Qingge lingered, as if stirred by the sight. He even returned.
“Just don’t contact me ever again.” he insisted, his voice and eyes … were they almost soft?
Shen remained in place as Liu walked past him, hearing his steps growing distant. Still confused. And suddenly feeling colder.
Back then, Shen had no choice but to call it quits.
In those days, Luo Binghe’s army — already settled in the Huan Hua Palace — launched an assault to besiege Mount Cang Qiong. The peak lords and disciples defended their home. Some had died, for which Qingge blamed himself. They broke up. Not long after, Shen Qingqiu got dragged by a flock of demon guards.
And now he was here. Alone. Alone with a psycho.
He had never expected the tables to turn this way. But maybe it shouldn’t be that surprising — Liu Qingge had always told him to beware of that disciple.
Could Liu Qingge have anticipated this? If so… was Binghe’s threat the reason why he had been so insistent about leaving?
First, he felt a flicker of treason — Liu Qingge should have stood up.
Shen Qingqiu huffed, running a hand through his hair as he paced. No, Binghe’s the main lead. He can’t be defeated — not for now. Qingge couldn’t have won just out of passion. He would have got killed…
His line of action was forward-thinking. It was a poor relief, however. If he was honest, he still felt wrong with the mastermind — Binghe.
“Unforgivable...” he muttered, strangling the pillow.
After that short display of cruelty, he collapsed on the bed. Those thoughts made sense, yeah — but for now, he had no way to know. What if he was biased and Qingge just wanted to break up?
He held the pillow closer, taking its imaginary scent again.
Shen Qingqiu had a restless night. His stomach churned with famine and anxiety — his energy drained. He wasn’t feeling. Nor properly thinking. His mind was a churning mix of silence and screams, when he wondered who the fuck knocked this late.
He pressed the pillow against his face, wishing to suffocate. The door opened when he was groaning.
“…Shizun?”
“What!” It came off way ruder than he had intended.
He regretted the slip — but didn’t apologize. Instead, he sat properly, acknowledging his presence.
The door clicked. And Binghe sat on the bed as well.
“You’re having a restless night,” he stated.
Shen noticed the steamy bowl of congee on his hands. How ironic. Caring now? Huh, it’s poisoned for sure.
“What do you want?”
“Have I not already told Shizun?”
“You should reconsider.”
It wasn’t a weak plea for mercy. But a bold warning that Luo Binghe wouldn’t succeed on luring him.
“…Reconsider?” he said, smiling as if he had heard a joke. “No, Shizun. It’s my turn to control the story. Don’t pout now.” Reading his mind, Binghe suddenly murmured. “You’ve pinned him for years… You both make such a lovely pair.”
It sounded so bitter and mocking…
“Don’t talk like that.”
“Heh… Or what? Will Shizun push me to the abyss again?”
Shen’s features darkened. And yet, he couldn’t find the right words to answer back.
“No one is coming to save you, Shizun.”
“You’re wrong.”
Luo Binghe raised his brow, in amusement.
“If I’m wrong, where is your savior then?”
“Tsk, planning something.”
Luo Binghe’s rich, maddened laughter echoed on his eardrums.
“Keep telling yourself that.”
Shen hated how he had no arguments left. He furrowed his brows frustrated, even more as Luo Binghe kept provoking him. Shen wanted to snap at him or just defend himself. But he realized that he couldn’t talk. His lips were truly paralyzed — a powerful tingle crawling over them, draining all the blood from his face.
“Tonight, I’ve come to bring you dinner,” Binghe said, as if the bowl wasn’t enough of a hint.
“I already told the maiden I wouldn’t take dinner,” he thought, but his lips wouldn’t move.
Shen Qingqiu watched powerlessly how Binghe placed the bowl and an envelope on the nightstand next to his bed. Wait, an envelope too?
“Don’t let it cool. It’s better warm.”
“…”
“Good night, Shizun.”
He was dumbfounded. He didn’t realize how cold he had been until his circulation returned.
“The hell…?”
It seemed like he had regained his usual self-agency. Shen Qingqiu preferred to ignore that piece of paper. But he couldn’t avoid it forever. He reached it when the anticipation left him too restless.
The envelope was closed, but there was a protruding paper. A little note.
“Shizun, the explanations you need are written here.”
Shizun.
Binghe really called him that, after everything. Even after kidnapping him with those intentions, but also after being tossed like that, in an abyss, at 17…
Shen sighed. It wasn’t like he had had any other choice at the time. The system had been relentless for the plot’s sake… But now he was left to face a huge problem.
And as for the note, it was laughable. He’ll only gaslight me, that much is clear.