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It had been a week since “the accident,” as Remus called it. James had come back, still not completely healed but able to walk and study.
It was Monday evening, and James was sitting in McGonagall’s office. He fidgeted with the end of his sleeve and didn’t look her in the eyes.
“James…” Her voice was very quiet, soothing—James would call it. “Would you like some tea?”
James just nodded because he didn’t know why words wouldn’t come out.
After a couple of minutes, she returned and handed him the cup.
It was a little too hot to hold, but James didn’t care. He just sat and looked at it silently.
“James,” Minerva started again, “I wanted to ask… how are you doing?”
James took a deep breath and counted to four.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
“I… I’m…” James wanted to say that he was alright, or fine, at least okay, but it would have been a lie, and he still needed to tell the truth. “I think I’m doing as good as a person who nearly bled out could do…” he said after all.
They sat in silence for a moment. It was a very comfortable silence, to be honest.
“And how are your friends doing?”
“Umm… They are…” James didn’t really know how they were… not okay, that’s for sure.
Sirius was protective—very. He asked if James was sleeping alright, made sure he ate well, didn’t overdo anything. But James heard Sirius crying at night. He probably had nightmares about… the blood. “The accident.” He didn’t go to James like he used to. Now he went to Remus, and they thought James was asleep, but he was awake. He listened to them. And he wished he wasn’t the reason for those nightmares.
Remus made sure James didn’t overdo anything in life now. He carried his books, helped him with lessons, even if James didn’t need it. He made sure he was healing well. Once, James looked in the mirror early one morning. He was looking at his wounds. James was staring at them. Remus came then, and James should have felt guilty for hating his wounds because Remus was covered in them. Then he took off his pajamas too and stood next to James, smiling, and said, “Hey, at least we match.” And that made James happy. He was happy he had Moony.
Peter read him books James didn’t know the names of. Peter and Lily did it together, really. They swapped with each other. And they had the same look in their eyes, one James didn’t know how to name. It was sad, and happy, and maybe angry. He saw everything, to be honest.
Marlene. Marlene was just… more than before. She was always near James. He swore he could feel her gaze sometimes, like she was afraid he would vanish. She had done that before when they were kids and James went to the hospital because he had broken his leg. When he came back, she acted the same.
And Regulus. Oh, his sweet Regulus…
But he didn’t have time to think because Minerva’s voice cut through.
“James?”
“Oh… sorry…”
“It’s alright,” she smiled. “I think you should go to bed earlier.”
Before he left, he asked, “Umm… Professor? What will happen to Snape?”
“It’s not your concern,” she replied.
But it was his concern, and that made James angry. He did want to know what would happen to the person who had nearly killed him.
“Goodnight, Professor.”
“Goodnight, James.”
As James left, he didn’t go to Gryffindor Tower. Regulus was already standing there.
“James,” his eyes lit up.
“Hey.”
Regulus took James’s hand in his and started walking. His hand was cold and very pale, unlike James’s warm brown.
Regulus dragged him to his dorm, which James was quite used to.
Regulus sat James on the bed, took something from the bedside table, and drew the curtains around them shut.
“Madam Pomfrey gave me something for your wounds…” he said, taking a jar out of the bag.
“Take your shirt off…” Regulus sounded like he was going to cry… or shout.
Normally James would joke, or say something like, “You want me this bad, Black?” But neither of them were in the mood.
Regulus opened the jar, took some cream on his fingers, and slowly applied it to James’s chest. It was soothing and creamy, like a cloud.
“I’m going to murder Snape,” Regulus finally snapped.
“Reg…”
“No, James. No one gets to hurt you, Mon Soleil.”
He then slowly lowered himself and kissed the edge of the wound.
“Reggie…?”
“Hmmm?” he murmured as they both lay down.
“I was scared that I would never see you again…”
“Oh… oh, Jamie… my sunshine… I would never allow that.”
“I thought you would be very angry at me if I did…” And James smiled.
“I would… and I would call you discussing names…” Now both of them were smiling.
“Like?”
“Like… you little selfish sunshine boy, fucking sweet deer… or… my cutie pie!”
Now both of them were laughing. Really laughing. And as the castle went silent… they were still together in this world.