GOLD RUSH

by rodvinsign

Summary:

Jackie Taylor is exactly the kind of girl Natalie can’t stand. The kind of girl who has the biggest house in the entire city, who is the best student in the entire school without even trying, who is team captain, the kind of girl who is every girl's friend and every boy's crush. Somehow everything ends up orbiting around her. She has everything, she always has. So yes, Nat really can't stand her, because unlike that kind of girl, she had to work hard to achieve everything she has. And as far as Nat knows, Jackie doesn’t like her very much either: Nat is the only person on the team with whom she had not been able to bond. So it’s easy to understand why Nat is confused when she sees Jackie, of all people, medicating her leg.

OR

They make it to nationals, but Nat gets injured just before leaving, and the only person who knows how to take care of her is Jackie, the one person on the team she really can’t stand.

Notes:

Hi! This fic will be a complete story, but it will also serve as the first part of another fic I’m planning to write. Also, it’s obviously named after the Taylor Swift song “Gold Rush,” which I feel was literally written for them. I’m so happy to start this new fic — I hope you like it!!

Chapter 1

When Nat opens her eyes she has no idea where she is or how she got there.

Everything is blurry, and it takes her a moment to realize she's in the infirmary. She’s already been there a couple of times but this one instead of the usual doctor it’s Jackie Taylor who is medicating her leg.

Jackie Taylor is exactly the kind of girl Natalie can’t stand. The kind of girl who has the biggest house in the entire city, who is the best student in the entire school without even trying, who is team captain, the kind of girl who is every girl's friend and every boy's crush. Somehow everything ends up orbiting around her. She has everything, she always has. So yes, Nat really can't stand her, because unlike that kind of girl, she had to work hard to achieve everything she has. And as far as Nat knows, Jackie doesn’t like her very much either: Nat is the only person on the team with whom she had not been able to bond.
To be honest they never talked at all though.

As soon as Jackie realizes Nat is awake and is trying to get up she shoves her right back onto the infirmary bed.

“Stay still, I’m not done.” Jackie says flatly.

“What happened?” Nat rubs her hand on her forehead, she suddenly realizes her head is fucking hurting.

“Ugly tackle” Jackie’s gaze is fixed on Nat’s leg, as she takes hydrogen peroxide. “This is gonna hurt a little bit” She warns Nat kindly.

Nat groans and curses under her breath as she tightens her grip on the edges of the bed. Fuck, it does hurts, a lot. She finally peeks at her leg.

“WHO’S THE BITCH WHO DID THIS?” She shouts as soon as she sees a huge deep cut that almost goes from her knee to her ankle.

Jackie suddenly stops, looks at her and then quickly mumbles something like ‘I wasn’t paying attention’ then asks her to stay still once again and keeps medicating it.

“Can’t Van do this?” Nat asks without even trying to hide her annoyance as she lies down again. It's weird that among all her teammates, it’s Jackie who’s taking care of her.

“She’s training”

“Shouldn't you be training too?” Nat teases her.

Jackie sighs without caring if Nat notices how frustrated she’s feeling. “I’m your captain”

“I don’t like you touching my leg” Nat crosses her arms like a baby.
“I don’t like touching your leg either, Nat. Can you just shut up? I’m almost done.”

Nat remains silent. She feels her head is about to explode.

Jackie finishes quickly and helps her get to the locker room where the other girls are already changing.

Lately in the locker room things have been slightly different. No goofing around, no music, at times they don’t even talk. But nobody complains because it actually is the last week of practice before leaving for nationals.

This competition is crucial for each one of them, there’s not even one of them who hasn’t thought about it all the time for the last two months. And that’s because of two things, the first is that Wiskayok’s female soccer team hasn’t made it past qualifiers since 1996, and the second is that they want to win to prove they’re better than the male team, who’s also coming for the men's competition. So it's no surprise that the girls are nothing but focused.

Nat sits at her usual spot next to Van, who quickly checks if everything is alright before Coach Ben bursts in and starts talking, a yellowjacket hat on his head.
“Okay girls so today was the last day of practice. We’re gonna leave for nationals tomorrow evening as you all know… right Melissa?” He rhetorically asks as he recalls that time Melissa forgot and didn’t show up at the bus station. All the girls burst into laughter.

“It only happened once!!” The blonde girl tries to defend herself.

“Yeah yeah whatever. Until then, rest up, you'll need it. And now…”
All the girls gather together around him and shout as loud as they can “Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!”

Coach Ben smiles proudly then his eyes quickly scans the locker room until they lay on Jackie. “Captain, can we have a word?”

She nods and follows him outside, Nat is seated pretty close to the door so she’s able to get almost all the words they’re saying and to be honest she’s always been a little nosy.

“Can you take Nat home with you? Would that be a problem?” Coach Ben asks Jackie, a little worried.

“What?” Nat cannot see Jackie’s face but she knows she has the same expression she had in the infirmary, nothing but annoyed.

“She passed out Jackie, and she doesn’t have anyone at home who’ll keep an eye on her.” He explains, Jackie hesitates and then agrees cause honestly she doesn’t really have a choice.

Nat is so embarrassed she’d love to disappear. She hates when people use her home situation as something to make her look vulnerable, let alone if that person is Jackie Taylor.

---------------------------

“Look I’ve overheard you and coach, you don’t need to do it. I’ll go home and you can still say you took care of me.” Nat says as soon as she spots Jackie waiting for her outside the sports center.

“You're cute when you limp, it takes away your bitchiness.” Nat raises both her eyebrows in a judgemental look. Jackie’s smile fades within a second. “Oh please chill out I was joking. I’ll take you to my place ‘cause I’m a good captain and my parents aren’t home anyway.”

Nat hates Jackie's hero complex. She’d rather hurt her other leg than spend a night with Jackie Taylor. Why can’t she just say she can’t stand Nat as much as Nat can’t stand her?

“Thank you but I’m fine” She tries to decline her offer politely ‘cause after all Jackie is being nice, at least on the surface.

“I’m not really asking Nat, get your ass in my car.” Nat opens her mouth and then closes it cause that’s no point in complaining, Jackie has decided Nat will come home with her so she will. She already can’t take it anymore.

----------------------------------

Jackie’s place is as big as it looks from the outside. The furniture is delicate and sure as hell expensive.

“I’m gonna get you pajamas” Jackie says as she climbs the stairs that lead to her room. Nat stays still in the entrance, her eyes wandering. There are a lot of photos of baby Jackie, and Nat could swear that in half of them Jackie is holding a certificate or a medal.

Jackie reappears two minutes later with a random sweatshirt and some soccer shorts. Nat smiles politely and goes get changed.

Something Nat noticed about Jackie is that she has blurred the thin line between politeness and kindness so no one knows which one moves her.

When she comes back Jackie is sitting at the kitchen table. “Are you hungry?”

“A little”

“Okay let’s see” She says as she opens her fridge. “So… tonight the house is serving… fuck this thing is empty… ehm… I have a lasagna my mother left me four days ago, I don’t know if it’s still good.”

“It’ll do” Nat says wishing the time she actually has to interact with Jackie would just end as soon as possible. It feels to her like Jackie sees her as just a charity case.

“Are your parents often away?” Nat asks to kill that awkward silence between them.
“Yeah, they’re home only a few days a month.” She says and Nat can feel a little bit of pain in the sound of her voice. “But they still call almost every day.” Jackie immediately adds.

Jackie puts the lasagna on the table. It doesn't look good but she still serves it to Nat.
“You’re not eating anything?”
“No thank you” Nat shrugs and takes a bite of her portion. Jackie’s gaze is fixed on her as Nat’s eyes widen.
“It's terrible, isn’t it?”

Nat tries to deny it but then she reluctantly nods cause that thing is fucking inedible.
“I didn’t know you wanted to poison me Taylor” She chuckles and Jackie blushes.
“I'm so deeply sorry. I didn’t-”

“Relax. Look, we could do truth or lasagna to spend some time.” Nat suggests casually, and Jackie is definitely caught off guard but she agrees.
“Okay you start”

“Which professor would you rather fuck with?” Nat asks like it’s nothing and Jackie flinches.

“Gross! I’m not answering that!” Nat shrugs and points at the lasagna. Jackie sighs and takes a bite. The expression on her face is priceless and Nat can’t hold her laugh.

“God it really tastes like shit”

“Told ya” Nat tilts her head. “Your turn now, let’s see what you got.”

Jackie evilly smirks “Who’s the last person you had sex with?”

Nat mirrors her smirk and takes a sip of water. “Some girl at a party, but we didn’t go all the way.”

“A girl?” Jackie frowns like she didn’t understand.

“Yeah Jackie I like girls” Nat states like she’s a little offended she didn’t get it before.
“Oh…” She looks like she’ll have a heart attack.

“Jackie, you know it’s not an illness right?” Nat rhetorically asks her, a little annoyed.

“Oh yeah sure… I was just…like it’s obviously fine I…I didn’t know you did.” She stumbles on her words and it gets pretty awkward so she just quickly tries to change the topic. “c’mon your turn”

Natalie thinks about it for a minute. What is that she always wanted to ask Jackie Taylor?
“What you feel for Jeff, is it real? Like do you love him?”

Jackie flinches again and looks at Nat who is sure that she regrets agreeing to invite her over. Then after some hesitation she replies “We haven’t said it to each other yet”

“Oh” Now it’s Nat’s time to be surprised, she really thought her question was easy. “Would you like him to tell you?”

“Why’d you ask?” The question bothered her. It is as clear as day.

“I don’t know…sometimes it feels performative. Like it seems to have fucking barbie and ken walk around school.” Nat keeps her tone casual but she can feel Jackie tense. Nat wonders what would be left of Jackie if that good-girl act disappeared.

“He already said to me” Jackie says as if she has to regain her reputation back again.

Nat can’t help a small laugh. “Of course he did. Who wouldn’t love the golden girl?”

That's the last straw for Jackie. She quickly puts the lasagna back in the fridge and mumble that she’s too tired and she wants to rest.

Nat is left alone in the guest room. It feels crazy that someone would even think about having space for a guest room when Nat’s trailer is small even for just two people.

Nat’s leg still hurts a lot, she can feel blood on the bandage and yet the only thing she can think about is the look on Jackie’s face when she said the word ‘performative’. And hell yeah she was right but Nat still feels a little guilty as she tucks herself under the cover.

Chapter 2

Notes:

here we are, I hope to keep up the pace and post as often as possible

The morning after, Jackie doesn’t seem as kind as the night before.

She isn’t wearing make up yet her face is glowing, even if it’s evident she didn’t get a lot of sleep.

“Get up I need to look at your leg” She orders as Nat opens her eyes.

“What kind of soldier are you? Let me sleep!” Nat covers her face under the pillow as Jackie crosses her arms, then she asks again, pronouncing every word clearly and loudly.

“God you’re scaring me” Nat gives up and finally emerges from under the covers.
Jackie unwraps her bandage with almost a surgical precision.

“Fuck, it bled during the night” She says and there’s genuine concern on her face.

Nat stares at her while she carefully moves her hands on Nat’s wound. It seems like she spent half her life working for the Red Cross in war zones.

“How’d you learn all of this?” Nat asks, tilting her hands and trying not to groan; maybe talking will actually distract her from the devastating pain.

“My mother taught me” She cuts short. Nat can feel she is still pissed at her for the night before, she considers apologizing but in the end, we're talking about Jackie Taylor so.

“Do you think it’s gonna be all good for you know… nationals?” Nat isn’t quite sure she wants to know as she speaks, in Jackie's eyes there’s a hint of pity. “Yeah it hurts this much ‘cause it happened yesterday but… it’ll be fine but you need to be careful” She says and Nat is a little reassured.

Breakfast is quick and silent, and a little awkward to be honest but not as awkward as the ten minute car ride Jackie offers Nat back to her trailer.

“Uhm…thank you for everything” Nat mumbles before getting out of the car. Jackie just nods without even glancing at her.

--------------------------------------------

While she drives home Jackie Taylor is fucking pissed. How could this girl, who might be the person who know less about her in the entire school, imply that her relationship is fucking performative. Performative, she said.

She loves Jeff, she assumes. No, of course she loves him. He is everything a girl would want and Nat doesn’t even like boys, how would she know?

Yet what she has said rings in Jackie’s mind and she can’t make it stop.

When she gets home she knows she has a bunch of things to do. She rolls up her sleeves and puts her hair in a ponytail.

First she trash that shitty lasagna, then she tidies the living room, she washes the dishes, then she gets in the guest room. The sweatshirt Nat borrowed is lying on the bed, folded. It still has Nat’s smell on it. Tobacco and cherry.

Jackie throws it in the washing machine and goes upstairs: she has to pack for nationals.

------------------------------------------------

The flight was chilled. Nat spent it listening to some music, talking to Van and eventually sleeping.

Her leg still fucking hurts and she is nothing but terrified pain won’t pass for the start of the competition. They have three full days before the opening ceremony day and only after that they’ll have their first match. She already told coach Scott she’s totally fine, he didn’t fully believe her but he was glad to hear about it.

Nat has already decided that no matter what she’s gonna play. She worked too hard for this. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how many lies she has to tell. She’s gonna play and she’s gonna do it well as usual.

And after all, most of the wound has already scabbed over. She can perfectly walk, and run…a little less perfectly. It is the center of the thing that hurts but it is gonna pass, it has to.

When they arrive at the hotel, the hall is full of opposing teams who are also checking in. Nat takes a look around and Van jumps on her shoulder and whispers to her ear “We’re gonna drill each one of these bitches.”

“Hell yeah we will” Nat says, an evil look on her face.

Coach Ben takes them back to reality “Okay now it’s time to go to your rooms. I’ll call the pairs I’ve made and you get here, take your keys and go.”

He starts. ‘LauraLee and Lottie’, basic, ‘Van and Tai’, Nat asks herself what kind of magic tricks Van did to convince him, ‘Shauna and Melissa’, this is actually new, Nat thought Shauna would be of course paired with Jackie, and judging the look on her face she had thought that too, ‘Jackie and Nat’, what the actual fuck?

In a second both Nat and Jackie appear in front of the Coach. “I’m sorry coach what? I asked to be with Shauna” Jackie complains, still incredibly polite.

“Yeah but you two are too noisy and plus you almost killed Nat yesterday so.” He doesn’t even lift his eyes from his paper.

Nat turns to Jackie in disbelief, and now this is too much. “It was you???”

Jackie rolls her eyes and groans as she takes the keys of their room and leads the way.

“I can’t fucking belive it! What the fuck had you in mind? I know you hate me, but girl there’s a line one can’t cross.” Nat just keeps shouting and moving her hands in the air, Jackie doesn’t say a thing until they are covered in the privacy of a hotel room, their hotel room.

“Oh, will you shut up? I didn't do it on purpose, obvio-fucking-sly.” She crashes on her bed as the door slams behind them.

The hotel room is pretty cozy and it's a luxury that Nat has never even dreamed about. That room alone has the same amount of square feet of her kitchen and bedroom put together. Since Jackie took the right bed, she goes straight to the left one who is closer to the window.

“I can’t believe it” Nat puts her hands on her head. “Is this how Jesus felt with Judas?”

“You’re overreacting, you told the coach you were fine.”

“I am” She cuts short and she stops complaining cause nobody, especially not Jackie, needs to know she feels like there’s a knife into her fucking calf.

------------------------------------------

“I mean I really can’t fucking do it, she is the definition of unsufferable.”

They all already settled in their rooms so now Jackie is laying comfortably on Shauna’s bed. Melissa nowhere to be seen.

“Oh, come on, Jackie, you two never even talked seriously before yesterday.” Shauna tries to dampen as she folds some shirts.

“Yeah and there’s a reason.” Jackie covers her face with her palms. “You know how she called me and Jeff? Performative! And did you know she is gay?”

“You didn’t?” Shauna says like it’s the basicest piece of knowledge. “Last party she was literally shredding some girl's mouth. She must be really good at it to be honest.” She raises both of her eyebrows considering it.

“Shauna for fuck sake!”

“Just saying.” She shrugs and Jackie groans.

Shauna isn’t matching her desperation. Because she IS desperate. There’s nothing she would want more than smashing Nat’s head against the wall right now and she’s never been the violent type, she hates every form of violence but that blonde bleached girl is making it difficult.

Nat is a walking mess who Jackie does not want to interact with. One night and she already assumed things, already messed with her head.

---------------------------------------

 

When Nat got back into the room Jackie was already under her covers. Nat walked silently to her bed, refusing to turn the light on.

Jackie could smell nothing but weed.

“Did you smoke?” She asks in the darkness.

“Yeah, did you want a drag?” Nat says half joking half serious.

She is written in a language Jackie doesn’t know how to read.

“Of course not! I don’t smoke.” She replies, almost offended.

“Okay”

Jackie is facing the wall but she can hear Nat's clothes get thrown on the ground.

“Does it hurt?” She finds herself asking, Nat is taken off guard as Jackie can hear her stopping moving for a second.

“Not too much.” Nat says casually. That was the answer she had given once to coach Ben, Van and Lottie and four times to Misty.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t worry. That's exactly what you need to do in the game. Maybe next time not on one of your team mates.” Nat chuckles and Jackie does it too. Nat’s voice is sweet, something that surprises Jackie. Was she really overreacting?

Chapter 3

When she opens her eyes, Jackie is already up. Nat sees her out of the corner of his eye, standing in front of the mirror, putting some products on her face.

“You do that every morning?” She teases as she checks the time on her phone.

“It takes effort to look this hot” Jackie replies and Nat can’t really tell if she’s joking or not. She is in a good mood, that is for sure.

She takes a look at herself, and she’s the opposite. Her hair is as messy as it can get and there are dark circles under her eyes.

She looks out of the window. On the soccer fields, some coaches are already preparing the training, placing cones and balls.

Today they have a quick training session planned, nothing too challenging, just something to keep up. But for Nat, it's different.

She has to prove she is ready to play, that she’s fine despite her leg.

Jackie comes back into the room and throws all of her stuff on the bed. Then she quickly glances at Nat and sweetly says “What are you doing this morning?”

Nat frowns, confused “We have training.”

“Oh, you’re coming? I thought you would rest your leg.” Jackie is not being mean or anything, she’s just being honest, but still Nat is bothered.

“I said I’m fine.” Nat’s voice is bitter. Jackie shrugs, her expression still relaxed as she keeps rearranging her stuff in her beauty bag.

-------------------------------------------

Jackie has changed her mind about all of this room situation. She has thought about it and maybe it is a good chance to bond with Nat, who is the only one in the whole team with whom she has hardly ever interacted. To be honest, she never really liked her but she’s willing to change her mind.

The few things Jackie knows about her are from rumors, and are fucking terrible. Something like her father killing himself while trying to kill her, and then her mother banging ten years younger guys. But Jackie knows about rumors and how they’re everything but reliable.
This is what she’s thinking while she walks into the field in her training uniform.

The first thing they always do is a warm-up run. She runs next to Shauna, a little distant from the rest of them.

“So is she that bad?” Shauna asks casually.
“Nah, I think it may be good for me, you know” Jackie replies. “How’s hat-girl?”

“Really cool actually, you should fear that she might become my new best friend” Shauna teases her.

“She wishes” She smirks.

Her eyes search for Nat’s. She’s with Van, of course, they’re behind the all group but she doesn’t look like she’s struggling. Good.

“Have you talked to Jeff yet?” Shauna takes her back to reality.
“He’s arrived?”

Jeff is the captain of the male team. Obviously.

“You really don’t know it?” Shauna gives her a look, but Jackie knows she’s joking. “You’re such a bad girlfriend.”

And now it’s Jackie’s turn to give Shauna that look. “Just because I’m not clingy and not in need to know everything he does, it doesn’t mean I’m a bad girlfriend.”

“Yeah of course, I was joking. By the way, are you coming this afternoon, right?”
“What is happening this afternoon?” She asks, confused as they’re about to start their second lap.
“Like a party, but it’s just a hang-out with the male team.” Shauna explains.
“Yeah I guess I’ll be there” She says indifferently.

Coach Ben blows his whistle and the real training begins.
It’s as easy as they expected it would be. Nothing tough but Jackie is on fire. She scores three goals in the usual little match they play against each other at the end of every training session.

“Captain, please have mercy, you’re making me look bad” Van, who is a goalkeeper, complains with a laugh.

Jackie is not used to scoring a lot of goals. She is a midfielder, her role is to help everybody basically. She is the one who builds up the plays for the strikers and drops back to support the defense when the opposing team presses.

It is Nat who scores. She is their best striker, she is the one who always unlocks the game for them when they’re stuck.

Training ends and the girls come back to their rooms to shower. Jackie stops by Shauna’s room to pick up a shirt she had lent her some time ago and then walks back to her room.
She’s a little tired from practice but she is in such a good mood. She even hums a song she doesn’t recall the title of on her way.

But when she opens the door, her smile fades at light’s speed.

Nat is bent over her leg, her eyes filled with tears as she painfully groans.

Nat notices Jackie standing on the door like she’s seen a ghost and it takes less than a second for her to snap. “I fucking hate you Jackie” Her voice breaks.

“I fucking hate you. Why did you do this?” She asks as if Jackie actually has an answer.
Her wound got infected, Jackie can see it from a mile away.

“Nat, let me medicate it, you need to disinfect it.”
“Don’t fucking touch me!” Nat keeps shouting.
Jackie can feel nothing but guilt.

“Please Nat, then you can keep screaming but I want-” Jackie tries to convince her with urgency but Nat is a train wreck.

“I don’t fucking care! Cause you need to take some accountability, you asshole! You have always had everything, every fucking thing! But that’s not me. You’re gonna go to Rutgers, aren’t you? They already got a spot for you! But me? This was my fucking chance to get out of fucking Wiskaykok!”

Jackie knows exactly what Nat means. Nobody among their teammates said it out loud but they all know it, they all know this place is full of talent scouts who are willing to find someone who is really good at soccer and could use a scholarship.

And Nat has every requirement to get it.

Had.

Jackie feels a wave of anger rising in her throat, and she speaks without thinking. The anger tries to cover up all the guilt she feels. “Oh god, can you stop? It’s pathetic. It’s how soccer works and I’m sorry but it’s not my fucking fault!”

She pauses for a moment, but it's too late, she's already talking a mile a minute.

“And please Nat, I beg, stop this rhetoric that everything came easy for me, that everything I do is performative. Just cause your life is a fucking mess and mine’s not, it doesn’t mean it’s fake.”

She’s gone too far. She knows it as soon as the words leave her mouth.

The expression on Nat’s face is beyond words. Jackie doesn’t think and finds herself out of the room, walking to who knows where.

-------------------------------------------

As Jackie tries reaching Shauna’s room, she bumps into Coach Scott.
“Jackie, what are you running from? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” He says with a bit of concern.

“Oh nothing, coach I was just… I was heading to Shauna.” She mumbles.

“Speaking of Shauna… I wanted to apologize. I know you wanted to be in the room with her but you see, you’re the only one in the whole team who knows basic medical stuff.” He explains as she crosses her arms.

“Maybe you can give Natalie a quick once-over every once in a while? She’s a good player but she’s stubborn and I worry that if she’s hurting, she won’t tell me, so maybe you can update me instead.”

It’s not a request, Jackie knows it. And she also knows that Nat’s wound is infected but still she gives him a polite smile. “Of course, coach.”

--------------------------------------------------

When Jackie arrives at the little party the boys organized, she is calmer but definitely not relaxed. She studies the room: Shauna is dancing with Jeff and Randy, Jeff’s best friend, Misty is stressing Lottie about who knows what and Nat is drinking with Tai and Van in the corner. Jackie’s gaze lingers on her for a minute. She looks like a completely different person from the one who yelled at her just two hours before. She is wearing soft makeup, her hair is messy as it always is and Jackie asks herself how she looks so effortlessly fine.

Jackie feels guilt turn in her stomach.

“Jackie you’re here!” Jeff takes her back to reality, wrapping his hands around her waist and kissing her. They end up in a dip in front of everybody. She smiles but it’s a little embarrassing to be honest.

“How are you doing?” She asks, her hands still on his shoulders.
“So good now that you’re here.” He is wearing his usual puppy eyes. “I missed you.”

Jackie is about to reply when someone grabs her arm with an inhuman strength.

“Nat, what the fuck?” But she's already dragging her across the room to a place where no one can hear them.

“Let go of my arm asshole” She yells and Nat loosens her grip but leaves her hands there.
“I saw you talking with the coach. Did you tell him about my leg?” Her voice is almost as evil as when they were fighting.

“No, Jesus calm down. He told me I need to help you take care of it” Nat’s expression softens a little bit.

“Good.” She pauses for a bit, then she realizes her hand is still holding Jackie's arm and she suddenly lets it go.

“Jackie, I need you to promise me you won’t say anything to anyone, not even Shauna. Please” Nat’s voice is lower now, she’s almost begging as she leans in until her face and Jackie’s are only a few inches apart. Nat’s breath smells like cheap beer.

Jackie wants to tell her that she is captain, that she has to tell Coach Ben, that he literally asked her to but then her eyes linger on Nat’s and all she can see is fire. Pure passion, obsession almost. Something she's only read about.

“I won’t say anything… as long as you let me take care of it. You have to do everything I say to let it heal.”

“Deal” Nat responds as soon as Jackie says the last syllable.
“And let’s get started right away, cause this morning it was infected.”

Nat is a little disappointed because she probably doesn’t wanna leave the party but she agrees “But I’m bringing a bottle of tequila with us.”

Jackie nods and they leave, heading to their room. Jackie doesn't even have time to say goodbye to Jeff and the others.

As soon as they’re in, Nat takes off her pants and Jackie immediately flushes.

“Everything alright Taylor?” Nat teases her, noticing the pink in her cheeks.
“I thought privacy was a common concept” She says as she takes off her coat.

“We’re gonna be together in this tiny room for at least a week, I’m not going to the bathroom every time to change, sweetheart” Nat grins. Jackie can tell she enjoys humbling her.

Nat lies on her bed with her head resting lazily in her hands. Jackie carefully removes the bandages and what she sees is terrifying.

“For God’s sake, doesn’t this hurt?” She says with a shocked expression painted on her face.
“Like hell” Nat smirks.

Jackie starts to move her hands, slow but steady, on the wound as she states “It’s fucking infected, it’ll never heal if we don’t take care of it so I will change your bandages every morning and evening, and even in the middle of the day if you are feeling particularly unwell.”

“You talk like a doctor.” Nat is trying to play it cool, but Jackie can see her face twisting in pain.

“That’s because it’s serious, Natalie. You need to be careful or it’ll get worse.”
“Okay okay, but seriously, how did you learn all of this?”

“My parents want me to become a doctor.” Jackie’s gaze is fixed on Nat’s leg.

“Oh…and do you want to be a doctor?” Jackie can’t tell if Nat really wants to know or if she’s just bored.

“Not really… I mean I don’t know it yet”
“What would you like to be?” Jackie can feel Nat’s gaze on her.
“I… I don’t know”

“Oh good, so there actually is something golden girl doesn’t know yet.” Nat says it like it’s a joke but Jackie still gets a little annoyed about it.

“You really have a wrong idea about me” She can feel herself capturing all of Nat’s attention.
“Do I?” Nat smirks as she slightly raises her upper body from the bed.

“Yeah, I’m not fake for god’s sake. Careful, this is gonna hurt.” She warns her like the day before, but Nat still groans.

“Sorry” Jackie says as if it were her fault.

“I’m fine” Nat looks at Jackie as she finishes wrapping gauze around her leg. “Thank you for this… and also well… I’m sorry I called your relationship performative the other day”
She sounds sincere.

“Wow, Natalie Scartoccio apologizing before Grand Theft Auto six? Miracles really do happen” They both laugh and Jackie finally finishes with her leg, so she goes and sits on her bed.

“Not but really, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Jackie shrugs and then words almost leave her mouth involuntarily. “It’s kinda true though”

Nat’s eyes go wide. She points at the bottle of tequila and Jackie nods.
“Have you ever fallen in love?” She asks as she takes the plastic cup that Nat handles.

“Once but it was a bunch of time ago.” Nat says, looking at her cup as she fills it.
“And how was it?”

“It was terrible and super toxic, it ended up in the worst way but you know the love part… You can’t tell anyone…But I was a fool. Literally, I only thought about her and about the stupidest things like a precise classification of her favourite type of pasta.” Nat bites back a bitter smile.

“Nat is the second time today you've told me something I cannot say to everybody else. You’re really trusting me, huh?” Jackie smirks and Nat mirrors her.

“But see that’s exactly what I mean… I don’t feel like that with Jeff. I thought I had to wait to feel it but… I still can’t feel it and it’s been a year now.”

Nat takes a sip without making any faces, Jackie’s impressed but she doesn’t say it.

“Why are you still with him then?” Their eyes lock.

Jackie shrugs. “I feel like I have to… I know it’s stupid but he’s literally the definition of who I should be attracted to.”

“There’s literally no such thing as the definition of who you’re into” Nat just raises her eyes. “That’s like the whole point”

“I mean, I know but…” She doesn’t really know what to say so Nat speaks for her.

“You cannot know before you feel it. Give yourself the chance to find out who you like, but also what you like in general. It’s freeing, isn’t it? Being a puzzle which is not completed yet”

“Does it really feel freeing to you? Cause is nothing but terrifying to me.” She says as she swallows a sip of tequila.

“I get it can seem scary but that’s the thing” Nat crosses her legs and moves closer. “It's a puzzle but every piece fits. You can't put in the wrong piece, because it's you.”

“I feel like there definitely are wrong pieces" Jackie’s eyes end up on the pavement.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Jackie. As long as you enjoy it, it will always be the right piece. As long as it’s not like hard-core drugs, obviously, even if…” She laughs and the mood dumps.

The conversation turns less deep. They talk about the stupidest things.

“Who would have thought that I would end up talking to Natalie Scartoccio, drinking tequila?” Jackie chuckles as Nat looks at her.

“See? You loved it, so it’s definitely one piece of your puzzle.”

“I haven't even told my boyfriend that I love him, let alone tell you about this conversation.”
But she does. Nat is like an alien to her. Her mind thinks in a way that almost makes Jackie take notes.

When she goes to sleep, what Nat said about the whole puzzle thing still rings in her head.

Chapter 4

Notes:

from now on, Im gonna need you to pretend this makes medical sense

"Just admit it” Van says as she lies lazily on the sofa in the hotel’s fancy hall, her girlfriend comfortably sitting in her lap.

“I guess she’s not THAT bad.” Nat shrugs casually, she doesn’t want to give Van satisfaction. 

“I bet by the end of the nationals, you’ll have a crush on her.” Tai looks up from her phone to annoy Nat, which she does really well. 

“Please, that girl is straight as a ruler. She has a beauty bag with her name embroidered on it.” Nat stretches her arms on the sofa. 

“That is because she’s rich, not because she’s straight.” Tai pauses and leans in as if she’s about to reveal some private secret. “I mean… Think about it, Jeff? I’ve never seen something as fake as that.”

Nat feels bad remembering the conversation she had with Jackie the night before. “She’s never allowed herself to try new things.” 

“Yeah, this is exactly what I’m saying, but Jeff is hot stuff, so maybe it’s not that she’s not into him… maybe she’s not into guys at all.” 

Nat considers the idea, but shakes it quickly away. “Why are you so interested, Tai? Do you want me to ask her how she feels about you?” 
Van gives Nat the dirtiest look possible, and Nat evilly smirks. 

Speaking of the devil, Jackie walks towards them with the biggest smile possible. She is almost hopping as she gets close. 

“Nat, are you ready?” She asks as soon as she reaches them.
Van and Tai look at Nat with a confused face and she rolls her eyes.

“I promised her I’d help her tidy our room.” Nat lies with the first excuse that comes to her mind, but the only thing she gets from the couple is laughter.

“Already that messy on day two? Oh cap please do something!” Van manages to say between laughs. 

“Yeah, she’s the worst.” Jackie says with a smirk as she pulls Nat’s arm. “But I’ll take care of her.”

Once they’re out of Tai and Van’s sight, Nat turns to Jackie and opens her mouth to say something, but Jackie anticipates her “You came up with that excuse” she grins as she throws her hand in the air. 

Nat copies her smirk as she uses Jackie’s hand, which is still gripping her arm, to force Jackie against the wall. “You’re really good at turning things around, aren’t you?” Jackie chuckles. 

They’re inches apart when a ginger girl interrupts them. “Natalie? It’s been so long!”

They quickly move away from each other as Nat stiffens.

“Hey Liv…” Nat hesitates as she gets close to this Liv girl. Jackie examines her carefully, she is so gorgeous that it’s sickening. Her face seems sweet, but her eyes have a hint of evilness that can be seen from miles away. She is wearing a soccer team’s hoodie, but could still model.

“I see you’ve been getting around, huh?” Olivia smirks and Nat's eyes can't go wider. 

“Oh, she’s not… just… huh yeah” Jackie stands still, silent, not really knowing what to do or who this girl even is. She has never seen Nat getting so nervous that she can't find the words. “Are you here for nationals too?” 

“Yes indeed and I’m so sorry ‘cause I know we’ll win” She grins and Nat somehow regains her usual confidence again. 

“Oh, how is that possible? I’ll win and I sure as hell don’t play in your team” she says, acting dumb, a smirk on her face and Jackie can see again that thing in her gaze, that fire. 

Olivia brings a hand in front of her mouth as she laughs. “Show me this confidence isn’t just talk, Scartoccio” She emphasizes every syllable of Nat’s surname as she leaves, brushing her arm on Nat’s. 

“And that was definitely flirting. Who the hell is that girl?” It comes out a bit harsher than Jackie intended. 

Nat just shrugs like she was not just panicking literally two seconds ago. “Are you jealous, Taylor?” 

Jackie raises her eyebrows, annoyed. “ I’d like to know everything I can about my opponents” She justifies herself.

“She was Olivia Benton… She’s captain of the NYC Thunders.” Nat explains casually as if that team hadn't been the reigning champion for three years.

“Holy shit” Jackie comments, her mouth wide as she opens their room with the card-key. “She's like the best player on all teams, and you obviously had sexual intercourse with this woman.” 

Nat's eyes go wide again as she turns to Jackie. “Please don’t ever use again the words ‘sexual intercourse’ or I’m gonna kill myself”

Jackie rolls her eyes as she sits on her bed. “Cmon, did you or did you not have sex with her?”

She is genuinely curious, she wonders if that’s Nat’s type. If Nat is into sweet evil. If Jackie herself could fit into Nat’s standard. It is just mere curiosity. After all, apparently, Nat has the reputation to be the ultimate womanizer, in fact Jackie is almost pretty sure she had sex with more than one person on the team.

“She is the girl I was talking about last night, actually” Nat shrugs as she starts taking her clothes off to let Jackie medicate her. 

“Oh damn, so she’s not one of the…” Jackie interrupts herself before saying something that would’ve made Nat snap.

“She was my first love.” Nat admits, eyes fixed on the shoes she’s unlacing. “But as I told you, it ended badly”

“God, she looked like she wanted to jump you” Jackie notices how Nat smirks. “Why did it end badly?” She asks, pretty sure that Nat won't tell her, yet...

“She cheated. Multiple times. ‘Cause she was not out yet…I don’t really know, whatever.” There’s a hint of irony and a hint of bitterness in her voice.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Jackie can’t picture Nat in a monogamous relationship, let alone imagine her being cheated on. 

Nat just shrugs once again as she lies down on her bed, pointing at her leg. Jackie gets up, rolls up her sleeves and puts on some music.

Now she’s ready to start.

“Taylor Swift? Really?” Nat is on her elbows as eyes search for Jackie’s, which are fixed on the wound. Honestly it looks better than yesterday. 

“Shut up” Jackie cuts her short.

“Not, I’m just saying, really? Aren’t you already an american-white-girl enough?” Nat teases her.

“I’m not THAT blonde” 

“Fair” Nat smiles. “What do you like about her music?” 
Jackie is surprised by Nat’s curiosity, especially if it’s directed at her music taste. 

“It makes me feel like a seventeen-year-old in high school.” Jackie shrugs.

“Well, that’s pretty accurate” They laugh as Jackie’s hand holds Nat’s calf.

Silence is soon replaced by Nat’s voice. It's nice of her to keep the conversation alive. “What is your favourite song?” 

“Bitch please, I have a playlist of favourites. I can’t just pick one.” Nat smirks, she must find it really funny how passionate Jackie is about Taylor’s music.

“Send it to me, I’ll give it a try” Jackie is caught in surprise. 
“I’ll turn Natalie Scartoccio into a swiftie. I promise.” Jackie says in a solemn voice, looking up like she's talking directly to God.

“No chance girl, but I’m curious… more about you than about her to be honest.” It lands more flirtatious than she intended and she realizes it as soon as Jackie’s face turns pink. 

“Ain’t I fake and nothing more?” Jackie bitterly points out, as she quickly looks at Nat and then at her leg again.
 
“Stop it, I already apologized” Nat cuts her short.

“Okay, then what is your favourite song? I promise I’ll listen to it.” Jackie says as she finishes her medication and goes to sit back on her bed.

“I’ll make you a playlist too, you can’t get away with just a song.” Nat’s smile makes Jackie feel at ease. Something that has never been familiar but surely feels like it. 

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then” Jackie says as she gets up. “I promised Shauna to meet her before practice, see you there?”
 
“Of course” 

--------------------------------------------------

Nat in those days can only think about how much she wants to get out of fucking Wiskayok, how much her leg hurts and how weird, in a sometimes positive way, Jackie Taylor is. 

Today, though, seeing Olivia added a ‘how much I want to destroy the NYC thunders’ point. She wants to prove herself to Liv. 

God, she’s never been one of those girls who’d wear a revenge dress to show how much she’s glowed up. But damn she wants to win. She wants to see Liv’s eyes looking at her as she scores, again and again. 

That’s what she’s dreaming about when she steps into the fields. Her leg still hurts, but it’s easily manageable. 

Today, Coach Ben quickly explains that after roll call, they’ll do a scrimmage, 5 vs 5. 

Nat gets paired up with Tai, Misty, Gen and Akilah.

“How is your leg Nat?” Akilah asks politely while she hands Natalie a green pinnie. There’s genuine concern in her voice and it takes two seconds for Nat to realize that everyone is worried about her and is keeping an eye on her. And that’s not because Nat is the kind of girl everyone loves and cares about, but because winning is already difficult and it would be too hard without their strongest striker.

Her backup is Melissa, but even Coach Ben knows that they cannot rely on her too much. She’s good, but not enough, not enough to win nationals. 

“It’s totally fine, I’m so fired up.” Nat meets Akilah’s hopeful gaze with a smile. “And I want to win this fucking scrimmage.” 

“Of course” Akilah replies as Jackie, Mari, Melissa, Shauna and LauraLee step onto the field in their red pinnies.

Shit. Nat almost says out loud. 

The two teams are clearly unbalanced, but Nat can’t complain to Coach, cause A it’s a scrimmage and B she would offend her teammates, so she just turns to her little squad and smirks. “Are we ready to win?” 

Everyone knows what that means, there’s no need for an explanation.

Yeah, it’s practice, and yeah, they’re supposed to take it easy but nobody will. 

Nat is competitive as hell, but that doesn’t mean the other yellowjackets aren’t as much. In fact Mari and Melissa mirror her smirks and their eyes seem to say, ‘We’ll see Scartoccio. ’ Shauna too is already focused on the ball as she places it midfield.

The only one who seems not to join this combative sense is Jackie Taylor. She seems worried as she looks straight at Nat, who hates to be looked at like she’s something that could break at any moment. 

Coach Ben blows the whistle to start the game and the red pinnies kick the game off. They are playing on a restricted field and without goalkeepers, so it’s easy for Melissa to score the 1-0  after not even two minutes. 

But Nat knows that it is not because of Melissa they scored, it was Jackie’s assist that landed perfectly on Mel’s foot. 

And it’s, again, because of Jackie that they scored the other two goals within ten minutes. As Shauna hugs Jackie in celebration, Nat looks at her teammates. She can’t hide her feeling of being salty. 

“Tai, for fuck’s sake, what were you doing?” Nat yells as soon as Ben calls the break. 

“Oh no, Nat this is not on me! No one tracks back and I’m left all alone!” Tai is as pissed as Nat is. Nat had always admired how seriously Tai takes practice.  

“I was always there with you” Misty tries to complain, but nobody gives her much attention. 

Nat takes a deep breath and looks across the field, Jackie’s eyes already watching her while her teammates laugh. 

Nat looks away as she thinks about what her captain would do, what she would say.

“Okay guys, Tai is right.” And Tai raises both her eyebrows, she has never heard such words coming out of Nat’s mouth. “We need to help her out. Misty and Gen hold the line with Tai, Akilah will stay in the middle and I’ll be on the front. Whenever you see the chance, try to score, no matter how far… Or just pass me the ball.”

Her team is burning with the desire to win as they get back for the second fifteen minutes. 

Akilah feeds Nat the balls as soon as she hears Coach’s whistle, and Nat starts running to the red pinnies' net. She meets Shauna, but her dribbling wins as she returns the ball to Akilah, who is running on the wing. 

Melissa tries, but defence is not her thing and Akilah continues to go until she effortlessly arrives in front of the net and kicks the ball in. 

“Fuck yeah” Nat smiles as she throws her hands in the air. 

From that moment on, the green team is unstoppable and it doesn’t matter the hard-fought goal scored by the reds because, with five minutes to go, the score is 4-4.

Natalie scored two goals herself and helped with the other two. If that were a real game, she would’ve won 100% MVP. 

But her leg hurts. Not as much as it did yesterday, but it still fucking does.

And it’s been only 25 minutes of playing, with a break, a real game is 90 minutes long. How fucking will she manage to play all of that?

She shakes off the thought, reassuring herself that Jackie’s medication will be enough for her to recover, even though it is becoming harder to believe this lie.

One last goal, and that’s it. She internally yells at her leg to keep going. 

She doesn’t know why, but she wants Jackie to admit she was amazing on the fields. She wants Jackie to acknowledge her team needs Nat. 

And with this in mind, she receives the ball from Tai, maybe five metres away from their own net, and she starts her run to Jackie’s one. 

She sees Akilah, and it would be easy to give her the ball, but she wants it for herself. 

She dribbles past Melissa, past Shauna, and proudly past Jackie. LauraLee tries to tackle her, but she fails as Natalie continues to go without any problem.

She is showing off, she knows that, but isn’t that a thing every scorer has?

The only one who’s keeping her from winning is Mari. She is waiting for her as she wants to steal the ball, but Nat has other plans. She drifts completely, getting on the wing just to do the same backwards and getting again in front of the net. 

Mari tries to follow her but it’s useless, Nat thinks, until Mari’s body hits hers with a strength that shoves her to the ground.

Her leg makes Natalie scream internally as she lies down. 

Coach Ben whistles as he reaches Nat. “Are you alright?” He says, concern painted all over his face.

Nat realizes that holding her leg with two hands is not helping her ‘My leg is fine, I’m ready to play!’ point so she jumps to her feet. 

“I’m…fine” She manages to say, the pain she feels seems unreal. 

“Look, let's end this one game, go get changed and I’ll see you at dinner. Nat, if you need anything there’s the infirmary.” Coach Ben dismisses the ten of them. 

Nat quickly rushes to the bathroom, she closes the door and lets out a sigh. She stays there for maybe five minutes waiting for the pain to pass, before joining the others in the locker room, but as soon as she gets in the hallway she can overhear Jackie’s voice yelling.

“-And what do you do? You fucking hurt her, Mari for real?” Nat could swear she never heard Jackie that pissed off, and she thanks god it’s not because of her she is. 

“Oh, please Jackie she is better than me!” Mari’s voice is annoyed, as always.

“However, she still took quite a hit before leaving.” 

“And whose fault is that?” Mari’s response makes Jackie pause for a second.

“Listen, I don’t care what you think is right or wrong, I only care about winning fucking nationals and Nat is our best striker, we need her at her best form to win. So help her instead of hurt her for fuck’s sake.” 

Nat stands still in the hallway as Jackie gets out with a duffel bag on her shoulders. Their eyes lock and Jackie is clearly caught off guard by her presence.

However, she takes Nat’s arm and drags her out of there. 

“Jackie, what are you doing?” But Jackie is furious, she doesn’t let go of Nat's arm until they’re in a storage room among cones and pinnies. “God what was that?”

“How is your wound?” Jackie drops her bag. Nat has never seen her that worried.

“I… It’s okay” Nat mumbles, caught off guard by how caring Jackie is being. 

“Let me see” And Nat lets her. 

“Jackie, you can’t snap like this with the others, you’re the only one who gets to see my leg under the sock, everyone will think I’m not fine.” Nat states, she’s not angry or anything, but she really means it. 

“'Cause you’re not fine Nat!” Jackie snaps again, moving her hand in the air. “You cannot fucking show off like you did today. How dumb are you?” 

Nat’s eyes go wide, but deep down she knows Jakcie’s right. She opens her mouth to say something but she remains silent.

“Don’t you want to play nationals? Don’t you want your leg to stop hurting? Then fucking take care of it! I spent the whole game worrying about you!” 

Nat feels stupid like a little kid who gets yelled at. It is an unfamiliar feeling, being taken care of. 

“I’m sorry” And she is, because thinking about it, Jackie is really putting all of her effort into helping her. 

Then something weird happens, something Nat can’t really read into. 

Jackie hugs her. Tight, like her life depends on it. And she starts crying. 
It takes a minute for Nat to return the hug as she feels Jackie’s tears on her bare arm. 

“I’m sorry I yelled, and I’m sorry I did this to you.” 
Nat looks at her, so vulnerable yet so beautiful. 

“Stop it” Nat squeezes her inside her arms. 

They remain with their body intertwined for at least a minute, then Jackie pulls out as Nat smirks at her. “So… I’m your best striker, huh?” 

“You weren’t supposed to hear that part” Jackie smiles as she wipes off her eyes. 

“Was I supposed to hear the ‘we need Nat to win’ part?” Natalie's smirk gets more evil as Jackie covers her face with her hands. 

“Ugh, shut up or I’ll convince Coach to let Melissa play.” 

Nat instinctively takes Jackie by the hips and leans in closer to her, their faces are inches apart. “You know I’m ten times better than her.” 

That is too much, ‘cause Jackie’s face invents a new shade of red as Nat’s eyes go wide as she is surprised by herself. 

“We should go take a shower” Nat quickly mumbles. 
“Yeah, of course.” Jackie smiles.

Chapter 5

The last practice before the opening ceremony is nothing but boring. Nat is careful not to overstrain her leg as she feels Jackie’s eyes on her all of the time. She doesn’t want to let her down.

The team is in a good mood overall, and Nat is pleased about it. In the locker room, they all chat about all the places they wanna go in the afternoon. Van and Tai smirk as they say they won’t be free, Misty wants to go to a museum, LauraLee and Lottie to some kind of ancient temple, and Mari to shop. But fantasies are shuttered as soon as Coach Ben enters the room, commanding everyone to remain in the hotel and rest. 

All the girls boo, Natalie too as she had spotted a nice vinyl shop she wanted to go to. She would spend the afternoon with Tai and Van but, judging by the look in their eyes, they’ll be busy.

She studies all her possibilities as her eyes land on Jackie. 

She would say that they became friends, for some strange, weird reason, so maybe they could do something together. But her plans are once again shuttered, this time by Shauna asking Jackie to hang out, with some urgency too.

“Scartoccio, do you wanna…” Mari takes her back to reality, she takes her hands in front of her mouth, gesturing a joint. Nat is always down for a smoke, and to be honest, she doesn’t have much else to do. 

Mari follows her into her and Jackie’s room and she collapses on Jackie’s bed like it's her own. She looks at Nat with the eyes of a baby as she takes out the weed and starts rolling. Pavement’s music fills the room. 

“How did you get through airport security?” Mari asks with genuine curiosity. 

“I’m the best, you know that” Nat says confidently without even looking away from the joint she is fabricating. 

“Yeah, I know” And Nat doesn’t need to look at her to know that Mari is wearing her ‘fuck me’ eyes. To be honest, Nat knew they weren’t there just to smoke, not after what happened before. 

Mari is one of those who know what they want and they’ll get it no matter what; that is something she has in common with Nat.

And Nat is perfectly aware that right now, the thing that Mari wants is her. 

They had fucked two or three times a bunch of times ago, but they had eventually stopped ‘cause Nat had found out that Mari was actually taken. And Nat could be a whore at the time, but she wasn’t anyone's side piece. 

“Was I supposed to take that foul you made on me yesterday as you hitting on me?” Nat knows it’s a game and it’s fun, it’s almost a play. 

“Maybe you needed it to be literal to see it” Mari smirks. 

Nat licks the rolling paper, smirking, then leaves the rolled joint on her bedside table and gets up. 

Mari’s lips taste of toothpaste, and that sums up all of Nat's thoughts while kissing her. It's a pastime, nothing more, but the kiss gets more and more intense, now they’re lying down with Nat on top as she squeezes Mari’s tits. 

“I missed making out with you” Mari says in between breaths. 

Nat reflects on the fact that they could have had the decency to move away from Jackie's bed, but now it's too late.

“Yeah, me too.” And it’s not a lie, but it’s not entirely true.

Mari is hot, for sure, but Nat forgot she doesn’t know how to use her fucking tongue. Nat is simply not into her as Mari’s shirt gets off, her mind is focused on Jackie's scent lingering on the pillow.

She's distracted, her mind can't stop wandering as she begs herself to be focused, but there are at least twenty-three more interesting topics parading in her brain.

She even considers asking Mari what her take is on the last episode of this show she knows they're both watching, then deduces that it's not the moment.

It’s strange though, because Nat recalls that their afternoons together used to be something she would cancel plans for. Is it the fact that she's sober? Is she really THAT focused? Maybe it's that-

“Nat, could you-” The door opens and Nat falls off the bed out of fright. 

“Jackie fuck-” She says as she flushes. Jackie looks absolutely upset while she closes the door and disappears before it fully shuts.

“Shit” Nat curses under her breath. There’s something in the fact that Jackie saw her kissing Mari that makes her stomach drop. The kinda of feeling she gets when she knows she messed up.

“That was hell of a pissed look” Mari quickly comments. “Come back here?” 

“I’m not in the mood anymore” Nat dismisses her without even glancing at her once, as she sits on her bed confused. Why does her stomach feel that way? Why did Jackie have that face?

“OH GOD YOU’RE FUCKING OUR CAPTAIN” Mari yells out. “That was so obvious.”

Nat is taken back to reality, her eyes wide and looking at Mari. “Hell no”

“Nono, I was too blind to see it, but it’s so clear now, trivial almost! C’mon, why would she be that pissed off for you hooking up with me? And the scene she made yesterday?” Mari has her index up in the sky as she states like it’s the most obvious thing ever. "She never liked you before... literally, what? Three days ago?"

“She was already upset when she opened the door.” Nat tries to defend herself, but she’s not really sure.

Did seeing her with Mari bother Jackie? And Why? Nat feels like she disappointed Jackie once again, but she can't figure out the reason. Cause honestly she wasn’t doing anything wrong, they were both more than consenting, they weren’t in a public place, and Jackie already knew well that Nat was anything but straight.

Maybe it could be the fact that they were passionately making out right on Jackie’s bed, but that couldn’t be it.

“And she has a boyfriend.” Nat adds, incapable of hiding a hint of bitterness.

“Yeah, I had a boyfriend too, remember?” Mari puts her shirt back on.

Nat opens her mouth in disbelief. “Fuck you, Mari. I told you we’re not, so can you just cut it off? A girl like Jackie with me, it’s crazy” 

“Why, though?” Nat can tell Mari is having fun and she hates it. “I mean, she looks passionate about you, and it’s not like you could do worse than Jeff, you fuck better, I know for a fact.” 

“My God, Mari can you just- please” Nat rests her head in her hands, ‘cause at this point she knows that Mari is just messing with her, maybe to reassure herself that the fact that Nat was evidently somewhere else while making out was because she was in love with the school princess and not because her tongue was definitely moving too much. 

Nat chases her out of the room and Mari leaves, chuckling. 

Nat buries her head under the pillow and groans because even if she was sure Mari was wrong, she wasn’t as sure about a whole lotta other things.
 
--------------------------------------

Eventually, dinner time came, and Nat stopped spiraling.

She was seated at a three-person table in the hotel’s canteen as Tai and Van were busy stealing food from each other’s plates.

Nat’s eyes have searched for Jackie since they entered the room, but they failed to find her. Jackie wasn’t anywhere by the buffet, she wasn't seated next to Shauna and the boys, she wasn’t seated next to anyone. 

It’d be strange for any girl on the team to skip dinner, let alone their captain. Even Coach Ben has come to Nat to ask about her, but Nat’s answer could be nothing more than a shrug. 

“Okay guys, I need to tell you something” Nat drops her fork and it makes an annoying noise as it hits the plate. Tai and Van turn to her, immediately shutting their laughs. 

“Spit it out” Van knows Nat well enough to know there’s something on her mind, and they cannot afford it right before nationals. “Have you killed Jackie?” Van is dead serious as she lowers her voice.

The couple bursts into laughter once again. “No, but I'm gonna kill you both in a minute.”

Natalie quickly sums up what happened that day without interruptions except for a 'MARI? THE FUCK? I didn't know she was your type, Scart' from Tai, and a respective 'She has no type' from Van.

When Nat stops talking, she realizes she got caught up in the moment and now she definitely looks like a desperate widow.

“Okay, Nat the last time I saw you spiraling THIS much, you were hella in love.” This time there’s no joke, no irony in Van's words. 

“She is straight, has a boyfriend, and is… I mean Jackie Taylor! Do you think I could ever have feelings for this girl? No, that's not what I was expecting from you!” Nat shakes her hand in the air as she flushes a bit. 

“You’re cute when you’re in love, Scartoccio” Tai teases her. 

“God, you’re useless, I hoped you could tell me why she was that upset, ‘cause you know all the gossip and I don’t, but-” 

“Scart, I’m gonna be hella honest right now” Van leans in a bit as her eyes lock with Nat's.

“Baby, stop saying ‘hella’ please” Tai interrupts Van’s solemn speech. 

“Sorry, baby. I was saying… Nat, I don’t care if you like Jackie, even if it’s a hella good joke.” Tai hits Van's elbow as Nat rolls her eyes. “But in general, it seems to me that you are pretty scared of getting hurt again after Olivia, whose presence isn’t helping, of course. What I just want to say is…don't close doors on yourself, especially if that door leads to something as magnificent as love.”

Nat’s expression is priceless as she gets up with her tray. 'Fuck you, shrink' is the way she spells goodnight as she leaves the canteen with her middle finger up in the air.

While she walks to her room, she cannot decide if it’s more stupid that Tai and Van thought she was in love with Jackie or that she is afraid to love.
She is not afraid of love, she just does not have the impatience that half of the girls have. She is fine on her own, she doesn’t need to land in some random girl’s arms just to feel some kind of warmth. Love will come, maybe in ten years, but right now it’s not for her and it’s not because of fucking Olivia, it's simply cause-

Jackie is not in the room when Nat opens it.

Now this is starting to drift from strange to concerning. It’s dark outside.

Nat doesn’t think twice as she grabs her phone and clicks on Jackie’s contact. 

Notes:

yeah Nat whatever you say