Torn

by MachineryField

Summary:

Basilio, and the woman she loves, no matter how unobtainable she may be.

Notes:

I wanted to write yuri, and also more transfem Bas. So I combined the two and wrote one of my OTPs as yuri. Enjoy.

Rella Cygnus was beautiful, unobtainable. That’s the only way Basilio Magnus can describe the saint. A shining beacon, so far above that no matter how hard he reaches out to her, there’s no hope of reaching her.

Even now, on the beach of the little village now called Eht Ria, she feels out of reach. Standing next to her, watching the stars in the sky. Rella’s hands folded in front of her, Basilio’s on her hips.

Fidelio had found an excuse to wander off. To spend time with Lady Junah, maybe. Or to give Basilio a chance to be with the woman who’d saved his life all those years ago. That had stuck in her mind after that.

One of the most important people to her. Fidelio, Rella, Louis. The first names he learned to write, before even his own. The names that she spells in her head when falling asleep, even now.

He hops on his feet, energy too intense to ignore at this point. Rella turns her gaze from the sky towards Basilio, a brow quirked. Her expression is sadder than it usually is when she looks at her. It makes him wonder just what she’s thinking about.

“Basilio?” She asks, her voice even. “Are you alright?”

“Just got a lot of energy in me, like,” He taps his foot against the ground. “Might need to get some practice in with my axe, if y’don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Rella shakes her head. “So long as you don’t mind me watching.”

“Not at all!” Basilio says, with more excitement in her voice than Rella had had a moment ago. “I mean, uh…”

She chuckles, and his heart does a flip. “I’ll stand back and let you do what you must, then.”

Basilio pulls the axe free from her back and takes a deep breath, trying not to think too hard about the eyes on her. Swing once, twice, three times. Only needing one arm, despite how heavy the thing is. Always stronger than your average soldier. Always praised for it.

Energy is released as he imagines slaying a human alongside Louis and Fidelio. Imagines bringing its head to Rella as proof of her dedication to keeping people like her safe, even if she and her master were as different as can be.

Would Rella like that, though? Nervous energy filters through her as she comes to a stop. The axe remains out, but there’s no more swinging. No more pushing to remove the thoughts and feelings driving him mad.

“Basilio?” Rella puts a hand on her shoulder, and it feels like electricity shoots through her. “Are you alright?”

Basilio jumps more than he’d like to admit. Turning to look at Rella’s eyes. Big, beautiful, blue eyes that stare into crimson. Worry paints every feature as her delicate hand remains on her shoulder.

“Fine, just…” He steps from one foot to the other. “Thought this would help more. But it still just has me overthinkin’.”

“Thinking about things from time to time isn’t a bad idea,” Rella replies, squeezing her shoulder gently. “But if it begins to bother you so, perhaps it’s better to talk about it with someone.”

“Would you…” His mouth is dry, and he swallows hard. Her heart beats in her chest, loud enough that she can hear it. Rella continues to look at Basilio and waits. “Would you be willin’ to listen then, Lady Rella?”

“Of course,” Rella gestures for him to follow as she moves to sit in the sand. “I wouldn’t have said anything otherwise. It is the least I can do for you, Lady Basilio.”

Something about Rella calling her lady when she definitely didn’t have to makes her stomach twist as she places her axe back in its place and sits down next to her. He looks out at the ocean and tries to find the words. Rella is patient, though. More than Fidelio or Louis. Waiting for her to find the words.

If it were Fidelio, he’d be poking and prodding, telling her to get on with it. That was how he showed care, though. Making sure Basilio gets it all off his chest as quickly as possible so they can get back to how things are supposed to be.

If it were Louis, he’d already have it figured out. Would say exactly what was bothering Basilio before she even knew what it was. Would have an answer of how to work through that without Basilio getting a word in, edgewise, helping him understand what was wrong and how to fix it before it even became a conversation.

But Rella was different. She waits, quietly. Stares at the sea with Basilio, as if a saint like her doesn’t have better places to be. As if Basilio was her top priority, despite everything the paripus was doing that stood in defiance of her own beliefs.

She was too good for a woman like Basilio, but she couldn’t help but want to cling to it. To the care. To the feeling that, for once in his life, the woman he loves isn’t out of reach. That she can reach out and take her hand…

His hand twitches when he realizes he just about grasped Rella’s. The hell was Basilio thinking, letting himself get that far with it? She kicks herself; the only saving grace is that Rella doesn’t seem to notice.

Or maybe she did notice, but decided to spare Basilio the embarrassment of showing that she did. Basilio isn’t sure which is better and which is worse.

“Sometimes,” Basilio finally speaks. “I feel like I’m stuck between two worlds.”

Rella hums, eyes closing for a moment. “...I suppose I know how that feels. As if your very heart is split in two.”

Basilio nods. “Feels like I have to betray part of myself, no matter what I do. I… Dunno what to do about it.”

“I wish I had an answer for you,” Rella says after a pregnant pause. “But I do not.”

“That’s fine!” Basilio raises his hand in the air, giving an awkward laugh. “Just… ventin’ I suppose. You make it easy to open up, and I just couldn’t help myself, like.”

Rella reaches out and takes her hand. Basilio’s stomach twists, and the tearing of her heart gets worse. Louis and Rella. Strength and care. Both tugging and twisting and fighting for control. Fighting for him.

“You can always speak with me, alright?” Rella’s voice is nearly a whisper as she squeezes her hand. It’s cold, but in this heat, there’s nothing Basilio wants more. “Even if I cannot help you, I will listen.”

“Thank you,” Basilio finally manages to get out, squeezing her hand in turn. Holds to it like a lifeline. “You don’t know how much this means, Lady Rella. I…”

“Maybe not,” she says, her voice gentle. “But maybe I can come to know, if you would let me.”

For the first time in a while, Basilio cries. With Rella holding his hand, pulling him closer, though? Maybe, just maybe, she feels better at the end of it all.

Even as her heart remains torn in two.