Traumabond

by emtemtemt

Summary:

Jasper Hale and Laoise Stanley work out an agreement to make their traumas dissapear, even for a couple hours a week. This therapy however works only with physical touch and a lot of sex.

Notes:

Laoise Stanley is Jessica Stanleys adopted cousin from Ireland. Adopted at 3 years old she grew up in California before moving to forks at 17 Year old to finish school with her cousin Jessica. She’s fiesty and a closed book for most people before meeting Jasper Hale at a party. She’s a y2k baddie.

Chapter 1

LAOISE

 

”Get up Lai!”
Jessica Screams into my ear as I lay passed out on my bed. Surprise or not, moving from California to Washington does that to you. I groan loudly before lifting my head up from the pillow heaven before looking up at her.

”What do you want?”
I ask not even trying to hide the agitation in my tone.

“Who pissed in your cereal?”

Jessica asks before plopping down onto my bed next to me.

“I know it’s your first day here but I need you to come to a party with me. You have no friends here and I can’t have you roaming around the school looking like a major loser.”

I roll my eyes.

“I just moved here Jessica give me a break.”
I point to the dozen moving boxes scattered around my room.

Surprisingly I managed to get my own room in my cousin’s cute house.

“Yeah whatever let’s go!”
She says pulling onto my arm roughly making me scream.

“Shut up and do what I say before I get mad.”

Even though my cousin comes off as pushy and too much she’s a lot different with me. We were super close growing up and talking to each other like siblings isn’t taboo for us.

“Fine I’ll come but you have to promise there will be something stronger than beer to drink.”

I groan out as I push myself of the bed and next to a box I know contains my clothes for this kind of an event.

“Who do you take us for? I’ve been drinking straight up tequila out the womb.”

I crack up at my cousins words as I rummage through the box. I pull out a low waist jean skirt that would make a priest go into a coma and a black sequin halter neck.

“You have to borrow me some leather boots Jes.”
I say as I start to strip to my underwear. She squeals running to her room to look for a pair of boots for me.

I pull on my clothes and lift up my string thong to sit on top of my hips from the skirt. Jessica brings me a pair of heeled leather boots and a small pair of sunglasses.

“You look so hot Lai!”
She says pulling me into a hug. I flinch from the sudden closure making her push back.

“Sorry I’m not sure how to go about your stu-“

“Just forget it Jes. Let’s just go have some fun tonight.”

 

JASPER

 

“Oh I’m not driving tonight.”
I groan as Emmett tries to push me a pair of car keys for his jeep.

“C’mon Edward drove last time. I want him to have fun and forget about that new girl Bella for a night.”

 

I roll my eyes as I chuck the keys at Edward.
He catches them easily from the air before opening the car doors.

“Emmett he’s not drinking tonight. And I’m for sure going to drink.”

Emmet groans. Ever since Edward laid eyes on a new girl at school, he hasn’t been able to concentrate on anything else. Emmett thinks he’s going to lose his drinking buddy and has been trying to push Edward to drink all night. Just getting Edward to go to this stupid party was a challenge on it’s own.

At least I get to let loose for once in my life. Not having to think or concentrate on anything around me and just be still. Or escape my thoughts for a while.

“Fine.”
Emmet groans out opening the front door and climbing to the front passenger seat.

“But you Jasper have to drink for Edward. I’m not going to be the only fucked up one tonight.”

Yes we can remember how that went the last time.
I cough quickly coming out of my head as I climb into the backseat.

“Shut up already.”

Edward starts laughing as the engine starts and we leave the gated yard.

“Seriously Edward you need to get your head out of the gutter. No girl can make you that crazy.”

Emmet says before turning to me for reassurance.

“Yeah yeah Emmet we know what you say ‘Why have one girl when you can have nine.’”

 

LAOISE

 

We walk into the house of someone called Mike. Jessica seemed to be all over him right as the door swung open.

“Take it easy.”
I tell her as she clings to his arm walking behind him like a puppy dog waiting for a bone.

Mike leads us into a kitchen filled with people and a kitchen island filled with different liquor bottles and cans. Looking at it like a treasure chest I quickly start to look at the bottles seeing what I’m up for.

“Lai let’s take shots first!”
Jessica yells before pushing me a shot class with pictures from hawaii filled with clear liquid.

“Cheers!”
She yells at me giving me no choice but to down the shot quickly down my throat. I feel the liquor burning my throat as I start to cough.

“The fuck did you give me Jes? Hand sanitizer?”

“No just some 40% vodka.”
She says so casually it makes me sick.

“More rounds of shots!”
She cheers making me pray for the next morning.

 

Time passes by with more shots and canned drinks down my throat. Starting to feel the buz I lean to a door frame in the living room as a game of truth and dare starts to take place. Not interested I start to wonder away bumping into people.

I hear the front door open and more people coming in as I try to find a nice corner of peace and quiet just for a second.

I don’t feel out of place I just need to take a second for the alcohol to take control. Finding a bedroom clearly belonging to a teenage boy, I go inside and flop onto the bed arms above my head.

“And who are you?”
I hear a low voice ask me from the door before I hear steps and the door closing behind them.

I sit up on the bed leaning onto my arms as I look up to see a dark skinned man walking towards the bed. I’d say he’s handsome but I usually don’t judge men before I hear the bullshit coming out of their mouths.

“I was here first so who are you?”
I spit out quickly uncomfortable being in a closed room with him.

“I’m Tyler. Tyler Crowley.”
He says walking even closer to the bed.

“Doesn’t ring a bell.”
I say slowly standing up just in case he’s a weirdo and I need to fight back. Seriously Lai? Not everyone is a weirdo pipedown.

He laughs.
“Better get to know me then blondie.”
He says reaching his hand to touch a sliver of my blonde hair resting on my shoulder.

I flinch slightly not sure how to react.
“What’s your name?”
He asks looking down at me like his first meal in seven days.

“Don’t touch me. And you don’t need to know my name-“

I’m just about to finish as the bedroom door flies open before a male steps in. I lay my eyes on him and I feel my heart stop for a minute. The most beautiful head of blonde hair suiting the most beautiful boy my eyes have ever laid on. His face is craved like a greek god and his slender but muscular built shows through his white t-shirt and loose jeans.

 

JASPER

 

“There’s a charger in my bedroom. It’s the one way back the hallway.”
Mike says after begging for a charger for almost five minutes. Should’ve know Emmet broke the fifth charger so far in the house and I was just losing time charging it before coming here.

I make my way to the bedroom and almost empty beer can in my hand. Stopping at the door I hear talking coming from the room.

“Jesus if I’m about to walk in some people screwing in there. Oh well I need the charger.”

I walk in and my legs freeze in place. My eyes hit a pair of the sexiest legs I’ve ever seen. My eyes travel up as my heart starts to beat harder in my chest. A tight jean skirt rolled up almost too high I could see everything of her. Her sun kissed skin and full lips. Her long blonde hair with her green eyes.

I look at her in the eyes and she looks at me. Why is my heart beating so fast.

Chapter 2: Burning up

JASPER

 

"Sorry I didn't know anyone was here."
I finally manage to speak out after staring at this girl for what seemed like an only second. I could look at her forever.

"He was just leaving."
The girl says looking up at Tyler Crowley. Tyler? When did he appear?

"Was I? I was thinking we could get to know each other."
Tyler says twirling a piece of blonde hair between his fingers.

"Save your breath and get out. I was here first and I'd like to enjoy it alone."
Oh fiesty this one. I can't help but smile as Tyler scoffs before walking out of the room chugging the last bit of his drink.

For a second neither of us doesn't say anything. We just look at each other. God how can anyone look like that. That top and skirt doesn't leave much for imagination and mine is definitely going wild right now.

"What's your name."
She suddenly asks surprising me with her question. She didn't seem much into Tyler.

"Why? So you can scream it later?"
I suddenly find myself having secondhand embarrassment but before I get to apologize she's laughing. Oh my god her laugh.

"And why would I be screaming it? Are you dangerous?"
She still laughs at me. She doesn't even know half of what I could do to her. In the bedroom. Jasper. Head out of the gutter.

"I'll leave it to your imagination."
I say as I feel the need to wink at her. She blushes slightly. Oh god what is going in.

 

LAOIFE

 

Usually I am revolted by anything men say, but this blonde one doesn't seem to do it for me. I wouldn't actually mind screaming his name. He looks like he knows how to fuck. Okay Lai cool down.

"Are you just going to stand there?"
I find myself asking trying to keep him in this room as long as possible.

"Depends do you have a charger for me to borrow?"
I lift an eyebrow.

"I have a better offer."

"I'm listening."

"Go fetch a bottle of liquor from the kitchen and I'll give you better entertainment than that phone."
He lifts an eyebrow making me immediately realize how wrong that sounded.

Before I can correct him he walks out of the room and leaves me holding my breath. What if he doesn't come back? I'm going to look so desperate.

I don't why but I find myself wanting to spend time with him. I mean he must be better company than Mike and Jessica with each other's tongues in their mouths.

Suddenly the bedroom door opens again and he walks in with a Jägermeister bottle in his other first.

"Seriously? You could've chosen anything else and you chose Jägermeister?"
I lift my feet up to the bed and lay my back onto a stack of pillows behind me."

"Easy princess it'll be okay."
He laughs as he walks towards the bed. He sits down opposite of me before opening the bottle and gulping it down like it's water.

Scared he'll drink it all I scatter towards him grabbing the bottle. His eyes turn to mine as he lowers the bottle from his lips.

"I thought you didn't like it?"
He asks lifting his eyebrow as he smirks at me.

"It still gets you drunk and seems like I'm going to need it if I'm staying here with you."
He starts laughing again. Cheez Lai you must be on fire today.

I grab the bottle bringing it to my lips before taking a short sip. I almost start gagging at the taste of the liquor.

Suddenly I feel his fingers on my chin lifting it so my lips touch the bottle he is now holding on his other hand as he start pouring it into my mouth.

I don't know why but I start drinking it with no problem his eyes set on mine watching as I drink it up.

"Good girl."
He says as he lowers the bottle back down. God I'm so sorry for every thought going through my head right now.

"It wasn't so bad now was it?"
He asks closing the bottle and setting it on the bed. He leans back leaning in his muscular arms that peek through his white t shirt.

"It's different when someone's pouring it down your throat."

“You seemed to enjoy it though”
He smirks at me again. He needs to stop doing that.

 

JASPER

 

Jesus. I am in trouble.

Immediately as she told me to go get a bottle and stay with her my legs had the mind of their own.
Or something between them.

I have just learned how to control myself around normal people but what about a girl as sexy as a fucking goddess who smells like heaven but better.

I feel the need to touch her. I don’t want to scare her. But she looks like she wants me as badly as I want her.

Calm down.

“Are you new?”
I manage to ask her. I haven’t seen her around. More like haven’t smelled her. I would’ve remembered her.

“Unfortunately. Just moved in today.”

God her voice. I want her purring in my ea-

“Good luck. Forks not for the weak.”

“Oh trust me I think I’ve managed worse.”
She says leaning back onto a pile of pillows behind her. Her boots almost touch my thigh.

“Oh yeah?”

“Let’s not talk about it.”
She shuts it down. She must have something deep buried.

I move closer. The toes of her boots now brush my thighs. I feel like a a teenage boy still going through puberty.

“Seems like you’ll be seeing more of me around then.”
She says. Thank god I can’t wait.

She playfully mover the boot brushing my thigh with it. I take the sign and place my hand on her calf.

 

LAOIFE

He’s touching me but I can’t seem to move away. I want… More? This is weird. What’s up with him. Who is he.

He breaths heavily. I watch as his chest rises up and down slowly. Seeing the outline of his chest through the sheer fabric of his shirt my imagination starts to run wild.

“Take them off.”
I nudge my feet towards them. He doesn’t seem to understand what I mean.

“Take my boots off.”
I say again.

“They’re my cousins and way too snug. I need my feet to breathe.”

His hand gribs onto my calf brushing the leather covering my skin. His touch is rough. His fingers find the zipper and he pulls it down.

His hand snakes inside the open boot touching my skin. I feel like my skin is in fire. His other hand grabs the heels of the shoe before yanking it off.

He drops the boot on the ground before moving onto the other boot. He does the same almost like he’s trying to make it last long.

My feet now free from the suffocation I start to feel the alcohol take over. I scoot closer to him.
We both breathe without saying anything.

“Oh fuck it.”

I say outloud before quickly throwing my other leg over his lap and straddling him quickly. It must be the liquor because I can’t handle this anymore.

His hands quickly fall onto my hips as I crash my lips onto his. His lips crash onto mine like I’m his first meal in days. Moving my lips on him I can’t get enough and open my mouth for him.

His tongue enters my mouth as his hands squeeze my hips roughly. My hand snakes behind his neck gripping onto his hair pulling his mouth closer to mine.

Our tongues explore each other’s mouths as his hands start to move my hips onto his lap.

God I can’t take this I’m burning.

Chapter 3: Interruption

JASPER

 

I think I died and I went to heaven. At least I think this is what heaven feels like. Who am I kidding. I wouldn't go to heaven. This is hell.

My hands grip the soft flesh on her lips through her jean skirt. I need more. I need her.

Her hips grind on my lap. Her fingers are pulling my hair and begging for more. God. I can feel her tongue in my mouth. Needingly begging for more. I'm so hard. I've never been this hard in my life.

Who is this girl and what is she doing to me. I move my hands on to her ass kneading desperately at any contact with her.

She moans into my mouth and I'm about to lose it. I place my arm under her ass and flip her onto the bed before climbing right on top of her my mouth still on hers.

Her lips detach from mine. I feel this wave of anxiety wash over me immediately that suddenly had disappeared as her lips touched mine. She looks at me hungrily before pulling me back in.

My hands roam all over her waist and hips before moving back onto her ass. God how can someone have an ass so perfect. Her jean skirt is now rolled up to her ass.

I hold onto her ass as I start to grind my hips against her.

 

LAOISE

 

He's hard against me. I can feel him and it's making my thoughts race wildly. But I don't want to stop. Nothing has ever felt to right and freeing at the same time.

He flips me onto the mattress climbing on top of me like I'm his pray. I need to look at this face. I detach my lips and as I do so I feel like I can't breathe anymore. Every bad emotion I feel daily just hits me back like a train.

I quickly kiss him again doing anything just so I don't have to feel these things anymore. As soon as my lips touch his again I feel like I'm free.

I feel his hands roaming on my ass. God! I feel him thrust against me. His hardness rubbing against my core again and again. I can't help but moan into his mouth.

I wrap my legs around his wanting him closer and closer. He kisses me even harder. We want each other just as much. That makes me crazy.

"I like the show but you two seriously need to pay attention to your surroundings."
I hear Jes say making both of us detach from each other.

He jumps against the bedroom wall opposite of the bed so fast I couldn't even see him do it. I scoot to the wall. Both of us breathe heavily like we almost ran a marathon. It certainly felt like it.

"Laoife when I told you to get friends here I didn't mean friends with benefits."
Jessica says walking over to me handing me the boots from the floor.

"So your name is Laoife."
The boy says walking back towards me. Without saying anything else he kneels infront of me before pulling my boots back on and zipping them up.

"Lai you were kissing Jasper and didn't even tell him your name?"
Jes questions us making me finally learn the name of this boy.

"Thank you, Jasper."
I say before standing up and grabbing Jessica's arm.

"C'mon let's go home already."

I say pulling her behind me as I walk her through the kitchen and front door.

"Good bye Mike!"
She screams back waving so hard I have to pull her harder.

 

JASPER

 

I watch her walk away from me her skirt still hiked up so high I can see her black thong from peeking under. I start to walk towards her before Two pairs of hands stop me in my tracks.

"Jasper."
Edward says calmly but with a lot of worry in his voice. I know exactly why he's worried. He thinks I can't handle myself around her. Sucking her blood is the last part of her I want to suck.

"Jasper!"
Emmet screams and his reasoning is beyond stupid.

"You promised me you wouldn't go down the same path as Edward."

They start to drag me towards outside and to the car. They sit me on the front seat before the ride home begins.

 

At home I feel Carliles worry as soon as I walk in.
He and Esme wait at the living room for us to walk in.

"Jasper. What happened?"
I roll my eyes immediately agitated. I didn't kill the girl not even close. I just got lost in the moment.

"Every one of you taking this way too serious. I just kissed a girl no big deal. Emmet has does is couple hundred times.

"But I don't want to suck their blood?"
He says back wanting to act perfect for Esme and Carlisle.

"The weird thing with her was that neither did I."

Everyone raises their eyebrows questioning whether I'm telling the truth or not.

"Try to stay away from that girl. The last thing we need is another move across the world due to a teenage girl."

 

LAOIFE

 

God I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes my thoughts immediately start to replay the kiss with Jasper tonight.

The walk back home was excruciating. Jes begging for details how I even managed to kiss the so called "golden boy" of Forks high school. Whatever that meant.

And all the talk about his weird adoptive parents and family? At least we have that in common.

I really need to get my head straight. It just felt to freeing like I could finally breath without being constantly battling with anxiety.

Well not to keep my hopes up since on Monday he probably has forgotten all about it leaving me alone with these confusing thoughts.

Chapter 4: Exchanging notes

LAOISE

God I can hear my alarm ringing on my bedside table. It pulled me out of my dream where I was back at the party with Jasper's tongue in my mouth-

Okay it's time to get up Lai. First day of school. No biggie. You've done this many times before.

I turn the alarm off before getting up from my bed. Stumbling into the shared bathroom of me and Jes I see her already brushing her teeth.

"Morning Lai. I could almost hear your moans for Jasper from your room to mine."

"Oh shut up."
I say grabbing my toothbrush and applying a dollop of toothpaste on it.

"They were muffled by the sound of your whining for Mike or whatever his name was."
I say with my toothbrush in my mouth making it hardly english.

Brushing my teeth I spit out the paste before rincing my brush with water.
"You need to make an impression today. Not everyday does a blonde hottie enter the school already having one of the Cullens up her sleeve."

"C'mon Jes I don't have him. It was just some drunk stupid stuff."
More like amazing stupid-

"C'mon he was ready to suck your toes if you'd have asked."
Jessica says before walking out of the bathroom through a door that leads to her room.

I groan as I walk out of the bathroom into my room and start to dig through the boxes with my clothes still inside. I pull out a pair of dark blue true religion low waist jeans and a skin tight long sleeve shirt that stops before my bellybutton. It has a low v neck.

"This is fine enough."
I say pulling on a pair of chestnut uggs and spraying my perfume. I grab my leather school bag and walkout of my bedroom straight into the kitchen.

Jessica's parents leave super early work and come home late so I almost never see them on school days. I grab an apple from the tray and walkout of the front door to see Jessica sitting in the convertible waiting for me.

Stepping into the car she looks at me up and down.
"I guess this'll do. Jasper will probably want to tear it all off, am I right?"

"Oh give it a rest will ya!"

 

Forks high school seems like the typical school you'd meet in any part of the States. I walk through the hallway looking for my next class. Jessica told me that the history class would be the class 201 but when I walked there I was told I was in the wrong class. Fucking Jessica.

“Are you lost?”
I hear someone ask behind me making me turn around to look at them. I spot a huge man. Not like in a fat way. With a black buzzcut and a really defined face.

“A little. I’m new here.”

“I can tell Laoise.”

I raise an eyebrow. Did I tell him my name? I don’t think so.

“I’m Emmet by the way.”
He says making me nod slowly.

“Come i’ll show you where the history class is.”

What is going on. I didn’t even tell him what class I had. Oh whatever I really need to get to this class.

I start following him through the hallways filled with navy lockers and classroom door decorated with some stupid motivational crap.

“Here it is.”
He points to a door numbered 102. Fucking Jessica.

“Thank you.”
I say as I’m about to walk into the class. He takes a hold of my arm.

“Just don’t sit on the furthest desk from the teacher close to the windows.”
He says before giving me a quick smile and walking away.

I raise an eyebrow. This school is fucking weird and everyone in it. Fuck it I’m going to sit on that desk.

I walk in interrupting the teachers teaching clearly late for my class.

“Ms. Stanley please come in. Choose any free desk to sit on.”

I eye the classroom and finally spot the one the hulk just now told me not to sit on. I walk towards it making everyone whisper around me. I start to get a little self conscious but oh well it’s too late now. I sit down placing my bag on the floor and my notebook on the desk before turning my attention back to the teacher.

“So where was I.”
He starts to continue before the door swings open again.

 

JASPER

 

My sister Alice saw some sight from the future where I would lose my cool and suddenly start kissing the new girl if I went early history class and help her find it.

That’s why Emmet did it for me and helped her look for her class. She probably was creeped out by the way Emmet almost knew everything about her.

I walk into the classroom 15 minutes late and find her sitting on the desk I usually sit alone in. Great, I told Emmet to tell her not to sit there.

I walk towards her taking the seat right next to her. She seems to be avoiding my stare. Maybe she doesn’t remember. She was pretty drunk just like me.

I can hear her heartbeat. It’s going crazy. She must remember she’s just avoiding me. God she smells so good. I could pay all of the money from my bank account just to have another kiss with her. And trust me there’s a lot of money.

I try to concentrate on the teacher just like her, but I am failing miserably. She’s so close. I twitch as her knee just so gently brushes against mine and quickly moves away.

We both turn to look at each other clearly affected by the sudden touch. We look at it each other for second clearly both of us fighting back the urge to jump at each other. Fuck it I have an idea and it’s only beneficial for both of us. She must want it as badly as I do. And if she doesn’t she can just decline. I rip out a package out of the notebook and grab one of her pencils scattered on the table.

I need her in someway I can’t explain. But I don’t think I can stay away from her.

I push her back the piece of notebook paper.

 

LAOISE

‘I know you feel it too’

 

I gulp nervously reading the paper. Yes Jasper I feel it but what do you want us to do about it?

I grab the paper and write back.
‘So what if I feel it? What do you want to do about it?’

I slip the note back to him reading his face as he reads my message to him. He grins before grabbing the pencil and writing back.

Not even a minute goes by before I feel the note nudging my hand. I grab it and open it and I feel my heart beat out of my chest.

‘I could somehow breathe again when your lips were on mine and I know you felt the same way. So what if we both use each other as an escape from the reality once in a while no strings attached?’

Is he suggesting we start screwing around with each other. I know I felt it too and I don’t think I can go without now that I know the one thing that gets my thoughts away from my past.

I start writing back.

‘Fine. But there will be rules.
1. No one knows about this.
2. No feelings attached.
3. if either of us develop feelings other than physical (doubt it will happen to me so if you do) it stops immediately.
4. We will meet couple times a week secretly.’

I slip the note back to him making a grin spread on his face. He turns to face me he lifts an eyebrow almost like he is reassuring me that it really is fine with me.

Not like I’m a virgin. I’ve had my one or two boyfriends in California and I have experience. It can’t be a disaster if both of us are getting something out of it. I nod making he pull out his phone from his pocket. He clicks a few buttons before sliding it to me.

I look at the screen seeing it asking for a new contact number. I click my phone number on there questioning what will this lead into before sliding the phone back to him.

The bell rings making class end immediately making me pack my bag and walk out of the classroom without looking back at him.

I hear my phone beep in my ass pocket making me lift it to my face.

Unknow number:
“I’m free tonight if you are ;)
-Jasper”

A quick blush creeps to my face making me up my steps and get quickly away from his gaze before he sees the effect he has on me.

Chapter 5: Sneaky meetups

JASPER

 

"What did you do?"
Emmet and Edward ask in unison as I open the door to my mercedes. I lift an eyebrow trying to act like I don't know what they're talking about.

"Nothing? We just talked that's all."
I say sitting down onto the driver's seat as Edward sits front passenger seat and Emmet behind him. I start up the engine wanting to get out of school as quickly as possible.

As I reverse out of my parking spot I spot Laoise walking towards a red convertible. I drive past her winking as she looks at me through the windshield.

She rolls her eyes playfully clearly enjoying the attention I'm giving her.

"Are we just going to act nothing's happening? Carlisle told you to stay away from her."
Emmet says clearly confused.

"Yes he did. But if staying close to her is the best chance at keeping my head in place i'll take it."

"So how are you going to stay close to her?"
Edward asks making me stay silent for a little while making them realize it on their own.

"Oh no this is seriously a bad idea. You can't believe that sex would work between a vampire and a human"
Emmet says.

"You've had your fair chance of bodies Emmet."
I bite back mad at him.

"Yeah but I didn't fuck them! Only some mouth to mouth and fingerplay."
He says making the images in my head go crazy.

"I'm not going to have sex with her. At least not in a while before I know it's safe with her. I'll ask Carliles if he knows anything about it."

Both Edward and Emmet groan in unison realizing there's no way they can stop me from doing this.

They don't understand that turmoil my brain is in 24/7. If this girl is the one thing to stop it even for a couple of hours I'll take my chances.

 

LAOISE

 

I run into my room and straight into the bathroom. I turn on the faucet and strip out of my clothing. God I don't even know if I'm even going to see him tonight but if there's even a tiny chance I have to be prepared.

I start shaving from head to toe nervously. Lai what's gotten into you. You've never done this much for a boyfriend in the past what's different with this one.

After washing my whole body including my hair I wrap myself in a towel before walking into my chilly bedroom. I notice my bedroom window being open. Not paying attention to it I start to look through my clothes to find something to wear. I should seriously get rid of these boxes.

My phone beeps in my school bag making me immediately lunge for it. Finally finding it after dumping my whole back out I open my flip phone to see a message from him.

 

J?

J: Can you meet up tonight?

Me: My house is empty for the night.

Damn Lai pretty straight forward. Jessica is hanging out with her friends in Port Angeles leaving me alone here for many hours. God what if he finds me desperate. If I'm honest the way he touched me made me desperate.

J: You can't wait can you;) We just met and already inviting me to your house. I'll be there what's the address?

Oh god it did sound desperate.

Me: Don't be too excited I have questions for you mystery boy.

J: Not so much of a mystery when you had your tongue in my mouth.

 

I almost scream out loud taken so back by his message. He's flirty and not in a bad way. Who am I kidding he probably talks like this to a lot of girls.

I sent him the address before pulling on a navy blue Juicy tracksuit and walking downstairs to get something to eat.

 

JASPER

 

It's 7pm and I'm sitting on my car contemplating whether this is a good idea or not. Not like I have any choice parked outside her house. She must know I'm here. Okay toughen up Jasper it's only physical.

I get out of my car and walk up to the front door. I knock on it two times before I hear the lock turn. As she pulls the door open I feel like my already stopped heart stopped again. She's standing there in a skin tight tracksuit that hugs her curves in the right places. I gulp nervously before walking inside.

"Cat got your tongue?"
She asks smiling as I stand infront of her closing the door behind me. This must be my most stupid and best idea of all time.

"Nope but hopefully you'll have it in your mouth soon enough."
I wink at her pulling off my jacket and leaving my shoes at the door.

"Come in I was just looking for something to eat."
I have something for you to ea- Stop it.

I walk behind her through the typical american house. Following behind her into the kitchen she walks to the fridge opening it looking through it.

"Have you eaten anything?"
She asks. God she's so adorable. Jasper it's only physical remember.

"Yeah I've eaten."
Lie. You Haven't eaten physical food in awhile.
I glare at her peachy ass covered by velour fabric.

"Fine I'll just eat some yogurt and granola."
She says picking up a tub of yogurt and carrying it to the kitchen island. She walks through the kitchen gathering her ingredients before mixing them in a bowl for her to eat.

"Follow me."
She says leading me through the house and up the stairs for what seems like her room. I walk in and notice dozens of cardboard boxer scattered on her floor.

"Sorry I just moved here."
She says before flopping down onto her bed. I look around her room.

"Oh yeah I remember. Where did you move from?"

She takes a spoon full of her yogurt before chewing it quickly.

"California. My dad is Jessica's mother's brother. They decided that it would be good for me to get out of California and come stay here for a while."

"Why?"
I find myself asking as I walk towards her bed.

"That's the one thing I want to forget while I'm with you so don't ask about it."

She finishes her food and places the bowl onto her bedside table next to her alarm.

"What about you? Why do you want to do this?"
She asks. Feeling like I want to make her blush again I ask her.

"Do what?"
She signals between me and her with her finger making a fire grow inside of me. She's on the same page with me.

"It's complicated."
I answer her. Giving her the answer that I was a major in the confederate army and got turned into a vampire at nineteen years old and have ever since been craving to kill and eat every human that comes my way would probably make her scream and run.

 

LAOISE

 

He looks so good. He's wearing a pair of loose grey sweatpants and a navy crewneck. Having him sitting on my bed is nerve racking.

How did I manage to get here. I was supposed to get a new start in a new city and now I'm sitting here on my bed with a boy from my school who I have now agreed with to have sex with no attachments to escape our fucked up heads.

"I think my brother helped you to find your class today."
He says suddenly making me remember the human hulk.

"Oh that was your brother? He was weird he suddenly knew everything about me."
I say laughing.

"You two don't look a like."
I look at him once more. Not that neither of them would be bad looking. They both look like a greek god but with completely different features.

"We both are adopted. So are my two sisters and another brother."

"I'm also adopted so I guess we both have that in common."

He looks surprised for a minute. He sits closer to me making me back against the headboard.

"Look we have a lot in common."
He smirks as his eye travel down from my lips to my toes. He looks like he wants to eat me alive. Normally that expression would scare me but with him it just makes me want him more.

He crawls closer to me his hands now on either side of my hips. I breathe heavily as I feel his breath on my skin.
"You kissed me last time so I should do it now."

He says leaning closer to me before I manage to place my hands on his neck and pull him on me. As soon as our lips touched again it turned into desperation on both sides.

Wanting more and needing more. I pull him closer to me making his big body crash down onto me, pushing myself onto the mattress. The effect he had on me at the party hadn't disappeared. As soon as he kissed me I could feel myseld become free.

His hands hold on to my waist before they start exploring my ass roughly. Both hands on my ass he squeezes roughly making me moan into his mouth.

Suddenly his lips leave mine.
"Am I too rough? Tell me if I'm hurting you."

"I like it rough so don't hold back, Jasper."

 

JASPER

 

As soon as she said my name I kiss her back with more lust. God how is she so good at this. My hands squeeze her ass before roaming around her legs before finding her thighs. Placing my hands on the inner parts of her thighs, I spread them open and move between them.

She opens them so easily almost like I belong right here between these legs. Maybe I do.

Her hands move down my abdomen finding the hem of my shirt before slipping her hands inside to touch my bare chest. Fuck I'm getting so hard. She must feel it.

She lifts her hips to start grinding against my hard bulge, making me groan right into her mouth.

"Take this off."
She says pulling onto the hem of my shirt. Without fighting back I pull myself off of her and whipping my crewneck over my neck onto the floor.

I look down at her as her eyes travel on my bare chest. She bites her lip before lifting a finger the trail the lines of my abs.

I lift my hand onto the zipper of her hoodie looking at her for reassurance. She nods making me pull it down revealing a black lace bar covering her full C cup tits.

God I have never seen anything so perfect.

Chapter 6: Short skirts and tempers

JASPER

 

She tastes like sin and looks like it. My hands are all over. Her waist, her thighs- I can't get enough. I place my hands on her now bare rib cage. God her skin is smooth.

She pulls me in closer. I swear I forget where I am. Or who I am. Forgetting the danger. Forgetting the monster inside me that's screaming for her body and her soul instead of her blood.

Her phone starts to vibrate on her bedside table. God I hope se ignores it I can't stop now.
"Ignore it."
She moans into my mouth making a wave of relief wash over me.

The phone keeps ringing giving her no choice but to answer it.

I watch as Laoise's hand hovers over her phone, her green eyes rolling like she's trying not to lose it. God, she's sexy even when she's annoyed. Her voice sharp, but flustered cuts through the room.

"What Jessica?"
She asks with clear agitation in her voice.

"Jesus Lai. Did you just run a marathon. You're panting like crazy."

I bite back a laugh. Jessica starts to go off talking non stop, oblivious to the tension she just walked into over the phone.

"Jes you have 10 seconds or I'm hanging up."

"Ugh fine. Me, Angela and Bella went out to Port Angeles to go look for prom dresses. Bella suddenly disappears to look for some book and suddenly reappears to the restaurant we were supposed to meet at with Edward Cullen. I mean I know all of the men of that family are straight up sex gods but really what do people see in them other than their looks?"

I feel Laoise stiffen under me. I watch as Laoise presses her hand on her face massaging the bridge of her nose clearly annoyed. I can't help but smile. I've heard a fair share of thoughts from my school mates but being called a sex god is new.

"Yeah Jessica no idea. Is that all I kinda was in the middle of something."

I smirk.
"Something, huh?" I murmur, letting my voice drop just low enough for her to hear it.

I see the blush creeping up her face, and damn, I can't stop the grin from spreading across my face. Fuck I'm so hard but my thoughts shift to Edward. If he can't stay away from Bella why should I stay away from Laoise.

"Well anyway. Mom and dad will be home in 20 minutes. I'll bring us some dinner."

She finally hangs up. Peace She mutters under her breath. I lean just a little bit closer, close enough that the heat from my body brushes hers.

"We seem to get interrupted every time." I say, my voice soft, teasing. "Maybe you need a guard."

She glares at me, lips twitching like she wants to laugh.
"Or maybe I just need everyone to leave me alone."

"Everyone except me."
I lean just a little bit closer, letting my shoulders brush hers.

I watch her as she settles back against the pillows, hair falling over her shoulders. She's magnetic. Dangerous, but I don't care.

"I should leave before your cousins come home."
I say lifting myself up from the bed and walk towards the pile that seems to be my shirt. I pull it over my head, seeing her eyes glued to my naked torso as I do so.

"Don't worry you'll get a chance to see it again."
I say winking at her.

She walks me downstairs to the front door opening it for me. "I'll see you tomorrow" I manage to say to her before walking out.

A good night's kiss would be too intimate for people who are just trying to keep it physical.

 

LAOISE

 

Walking into Forks high, I immediately feel the adrenaline from last night buzzing through me. I slip through the crowded hallway, trying to look casual, but every few steps I catch glimpses of him.

He's leaning against a locker, arms crossed, golden eyes tracking me like I'm the only person in the room. I try to act all high and mighty but his gaze on me makes me self conscious.

I smooth my hair, hoping he likes the vision I wanted my clothes to give off today.

 

JASPER

 

She's here. And god. She looks like every teenage boys wet dream. Just standing there in a short skirt and a white off the shoulder sweater, that shows off her collar bones and cleavage perfectly, she looks like straight out of a school girl porno movie.

I force myself to lean against this locker, acting casual, but every nerve in me is screaming. I'm everything but casual. I want to take her outside into my car and fuck every thought out of that small head.

I walk towards our history class behind her and find her sitting at the same seat as yesterday.

I watch her sit, legs crossed just so, pencil tapping lightly on her notebook. She's fidgety. Acting like I'm not here, I can tell. And yet, she keeps stealing glances.

And then the small unconscious touches start. She brusher her sleeve against the edge of the desk. Her feet shift under the table, almost grazing mine. My entire body reacts. I want to reach out and touch her. I know I can't. Not here. Not in public.

She shifts in her seat, crossing one leg over the other. I notice her skirt riding up slightly. Fuck me. Her smooth tan skin on her legs devilishly invite me to reach out.

Jasper not here. Not with everyone watching. I force myself lean back against the chair, trying to appear nonchalant. God every thing she does is a countdown to when I finally loose it and take her infront of this whole class.

The bell rings, and my stomach twists. My escape is here, but I don't want her to leave.

As the students gather their things, I see her hesitate, glancing at the door like she's weighing something. I wish I could read her mind. Because if she thought about staying back here after everyone else leaves I would jump at the chance.

Still I watch her go.

 

LAOISE

 

I find myself sitting with Jessica and her friends at lunch. Accompanied by another new girl, Bella Swan, I don't feel so much out of place. I look at Bella remembering how Jessica called me last night to tell about her and Edward.

People chatter around me but I can barely hear a word. I'm trying to act normal. Laughing at something Angela said, having no recollection of it. Nodding at Bella, but every interaction seems forced.

I keep glancing around me. I half expect him to be there.

And then, like some cruel joke, he appears.

He's at the edge of the cafeteria, talking to Emmett and Edward. Or at least pretending to. He keeps glancing over at me.

I glance down at my tray, trying to concentrate on something, anything other than him.

Suddenly I feel someone slide into the seat next to me.
"Mind if I join?"
I hear Tyler Crowley ask me. Weird of him to ask, when he's already fucking there. His smirk is cocky, almost like he owns the whole cafeteria.

"Go ahead. I was about to leave anyone soon."
I murmur, trying to keep my voice down. He leans just a little closer, elbow brushing mine. I flinch at his sudden and move myself just away from him to not touch him.

"Oh c'mon. You were all over Jasper Cullen at the party and now you can't even touch me?"

I sip my drink trying to act unimpressed. I set my cup down. "If you think one drunken kiss my first day here is some kind of mind blowing gossip then don't waste your breath."

Tyler leans forward again, but I don't flinch. Across the cafeteria, I see Jasper. Sitting casually at his table.

"Oh careful, newbie." Tyler says, smirk twitching.
"People like you? They don't get away with acting like that in Forks."

I lean back, keeping my voice perfectly steady.
"People like me get away with everything. And you Tyler should get the fuck away from me."

I gather my stuff and start to get ready to leave the table.
"Thanks for sitting with me. Entertainment is rate around here."

I scoff walking away clearly annoyed by the audacity of that man.

Chapter 7: Vampire sex ed

JASPER

 

"You know I can hear your thoughts right?"
Edward says on the ride back some from school. This ride feels longer than it should.

Edward doesn't say a word but I can feel him in my head, poking at the thoughts I'm trying to keep buried. His thoughts brush against mine, sharp and accusing, making me want to tear the steering wheel in half just to shut him up.

"Don't." I mutter finally, not hiding the agitation in my voice.

"I didn't say anything."
He answers, but his jaw is tight and knuckles white where he grips the arm rest. He doesn't have to say anything. I already know what he's thinking.

You're slipping Jasper. You're getting too close.

Seeing Tyler all up on Laoise at school made my blood boil. Edwards summary of that scumbags thoughts wasn't helping the case. I wanted to march up there and tell him to back the fuck off or I would be the one he'd have to deal with.

The second I step through the door into the Cullen house the air shifts. Alice is waiting for me, arms crossed, and a foot tapping the wood floor patiently.

"You need to stop."

I don't even bother pretending. "Stop what?"

Her laugh is short and humorless.
"Laoise Stanley. You've been circling her ever since the party. You think I don't see it? You think Edward hasn't already told us what's in your head."

I stiffen. Everyone is here. Esme in the kitchen doorway, Carlisle standing tall beside her, Rosalie lounging on the sofa, her glare burning holes through me. Emmett looks like this is the last place he'd want to be.

Rosalie is the first to snap.
"You're going to ruin everything. You know how hard we have fought to keep this peace. And you're just going to ruin it? For what? For some easy lay with some girl?"

Hearing Rosalie call Laoise an easy lay makes my nonexistent blood boil.

Carlisle's expression is soft and understanding.
"Jasper. We chose this life carefully. If the community starts suspecting everything we've built could unravel. You need to ask yourself if this risk is worth it."

Alice steps closer to me.
"Jasper, I can't see her future. Do you know what that means? She's like Bella. The threads of time vanish whenever she's involved. That's dangerous."

As I take their words into consideration, I realize something. I haven't craved blood ever since I smelled her. Not even animal blood. She's all I am craving for.

"Carliles this risk is worth it, because my blood lust has weakened ever since smelling her. She's all I crave but not her blood. Something deeper and stronger. If being with her means I get to escape the reality of this monster form I've become, then I'll take my chances. But I'll need your help how to do it safely."

Edward speaks up finally, voice low.
"I can't read her thoughts and alice can't see her future. Which means she's not ordinary. You're too close to see the danger, Jasper."

She's not ordinary. I already knew that. My hunger proves it. I don't crave her blood. God, that would be easier. Instead I want her skin, her warmth, her voice pulling me closer."

Carlisle clears his throat, and the argument dies down. Even Rosalie sinks back into her place in the sofa.

"You've made your intentions clear," Carlisle says finally, voice even.
"Laoise is not just another human to you. She's part of your strategy."

I clench my jaw. "Strategy?"

"You think she'll keep you sane."
He continues, calm and collected like he always is. "That if you pour your hunger into her you can hold back the other hunger. Blood. Also her presence makes you forget about your troubled past you've fighting."

I don't answer because I know he's right.

Carliles folds his hands behind his back.
"Vampires throughout history have clung to humans for balance. As companions, distractions, but what you're suggesting..."

"Physical intimacy with a human. It's not impossible, Jasper. But it's dangerous. To both of you."

My throat tightens. "I can manage it."

"Not alone." Carlisle quickly corrects me.
"If you go into this blind, you'll kill her. Not because you want to, but because your lust will overshadow your instincts."

"You'll need boundaries. Rules you do not break."

His eyes lock on mine.
"If this is the path you're choosing, then I'll help you. Not because I approve, but because if I don't you'll do it anyway. And she won't survive."

I don't back down. I know this is the right choice. Because the alternative is worse.

Carlisle looks at me for a second before nodding.
"Then we prepare. I'll teach you everything I can. How to... lessen the risk."

I hear Emmett laugh in the corner.
"I never thought I'd see the day when Carlisle teaches Jasper how to have sex."

 

The house is still. Everyone else has retreated upstairs. Carlisle gestures me to sit, but I remain standing in his study. I pace infront of the wide desk infront of me.

Carlisle sets a small crystal vial on the desk. Inside is red dark liquid, gleaming under the lamp light. Fresh. Human.

"You're nervous."
He says, looking down at me shaking hands.

"You think I'm weak." I say to him my fists glenching.

"I think you're dangerous." He corrects me.
"That's not the same." He lifts the vial, uncorking it. The air shifts immediately. The scent punches through me.

"Still the scent doesn't make me crazy like she does." Still my throat ignites. I grind my teeth, every muscle restraining.

"Ground yourself. Control is not suppression."
He instructs.

I take a deep breath.

"Visualize the line. Don't push it or cross it. If the urges grow, you stop it."

The room throbs with the scent. My chest heaves. I picture Laoise, her skin under my hands, her pulse beating inches away. A pulse I could stop in a second.

My jaw locks. "This isn't the same."

"It will be harder." Carlisle agrees. His eyes sharpening. "That's why you practice now. Fail here, in this room, where no one dies."

His calmness infuriates me, but it also calms me. little by little, I force the monster back into its cage. The ache in my throat dulls. Barely but enough.

Carlisle nods, finally recorking the vial. The air immediately lightens.

"That," he says, "is what it takes. Every time. Do you understand?"

I finally drop into the chair at last, elbows on my knees, head in my hands. My voice is rough.
"What if I lose it with her..."

"You won't." Carlisle cuts in, firmly.

 

LAOISE

 

I slam my bedroom door shut and toss my bag onto the floor. Forks high is exhausting. Not because of the classes, or the endless chatter about prom dresses, or Jessica’s contant obsession with who’s into who. But because of him.

Every second of the day he’s either staring at me or pretending I don’t exist. And somehow both things drive me insane.

I flop onto my bed, grabbing my pillow and pressing it over my face with a frustrated groan. God, what is wrong with me. I’ve know him for— what?— five days And still, I can’t stop thinking about his hands on me last night.

I roll onto my back, staring at the ceiling. My heart kicks up just remembering the way he whispered everyone except me. That voice of his could melt steel.

And then there’s the other thing. Always being interrupted by god knows what.

My lips twitch into a smirk. If Jasper thinks I’m just going to sit back and let him decide when and where this thing happens, he’s dead wrong.

I grab my notebook from the nightstand and flip it open. I try to distract myself with some half-finished math homework. But after two equations, I’m scribbling Jasper Cullen in the margins like some lovesick idiot. Except I’m not in love. Not even close.

This isn’t about love. It’s about survival. My survival. His too, apparently.

Because when his hands were on me, when his mouth was crushing mine, for the first time since moving to Forks, I didn’t feel broken. I didn’t feel haunted by my past in California. I felt alive.

I slam the notebook shut. No homework is getting done tonight.

I crawl under the blanket, pulling it to my chin. I can smell him on my sheets. Something sharp and cold, like musk and smoke.

I close my eyes and I fall asleep with a smile.

Chapter 8: Burning need

LAOISE

I wake up drenched in sweat, my chest heaving like i've just run a marathon. My sheets are twisted around me, clinging to my skin. My throat burns, the echoe of screams I didn't let out still caught there.

Not again.

I press my palms into my eyes, trying to scrub away the images. California. The pieces of me I swore I'd left behind. But it's back, tearing through me in the dead of night like it owns me.

I can't breathe.

 

I managed to pull myself together. Now sitting at my desk in first period math, pretending to pay attention, pretending to be fine. Hair curled, lips glossed, jeans hugging me just right — I look like I rolled out of bed ready to own the world. That's the armor.

But inside, I'm shaking.

The nightmare clings to me like smoke, every number the teacher writes on the board blurring with images I don't want to remember. I keep twisting my pencil in my fingers, biting back the urge to scream.

I can't do this alone. Not today.

I slide my phone onto my lap, hidden by the desk. My thumbs move fast.

Old equipment shed. 10 minutes.

I don't even let myself think before hitting send. The message glows on my screen like a dare.

I'm up, ignoring Jessica's voice questioning where I'm going. I cut across the courtyard, heels clicking on the pavement, my pulse already thundering.

I remember Jessica showing me the shed, my first day here. Apparently it's a common hookup spot.

The shed looms behind the gym, half-hidden by trees. I slip inside, the door creaking shut behind me. Dust, the faint smell of wood and metal, shadows stretching across the small space.

I lean back against the wall, heart in my throat, waiting.

 

JASPER

Her text hits me like a strike of lightning. Old equipment shed. 10 minutes.

There's no explanation. There doesn't need to be.

I move before I realize it. Past the teacher, past the classmates, past the noise of the hallway. The world narrows to one point: her.

When I push open the shed door, she's already there. Standing in the dim light, hair shining like gold even in the dust, lips parted, chest rising too fast.

"Laoise—" I start, but she doesn't let me finish.

She grabs my shirt, yanking me forward, and her mouth crashes into mine.

The door slams shut behind us.

 

LAOISE

 

His eyes lock on me like I'm prey — no words, no hesitation. I grab his shirt, yanking him to me, and our mouths collide. His kiss is wild, all tongue and teeth, and I don't care. I need him. I need to forget.

His hands are everywhere, hot and demanding. He pins me against the wall, the rough wood biting into my back. My fingers claw at his shoulders, desperate, pulling him closer, closer.

Then his hand slides down my stomach, Over the waistband of my jeans. The friction makes me gasp into his mouth. I arch into him, silently begging, but the denim is in the way.

He cups me through the jeans, making me moan into his mouth.

He doesn't stop. His fingers tug at the button, flicking it open with practiced ease. The sound of my zipper lowering cuts through the thick air, and my whole body shudders.

His hand slips inside my jeans. He places a finger onto my heat, moving it against my covered bundle of nerves.

I let out a moan before arching my back, begging for more. Without a warning he slips his hand inside my thong. Skin on skin.

“Fuck. You’re so wet.”

I choke on a moan, burying my face in his neck as his fingers find me, slide against me. The rough scrape of denim against my thighs, his other hand gripping my hip to keep me steady — it’s too much.

He smirks, twirling circles on my sensitive clit, making my head spin. And before I know, I can feel his middle finger slide into me smoothly.

“Fuck, you’re so tight, I don’t think I can fit another finger in.”

I bite his shoulder through his shirt, trying to muffle the sounds pouring out of me, but my body is giving me away. My hips jerk against his hand, shameless, desperate for every stroke.

“More, Jasper.”

I manage to beg out, desperate for release.

He slids his ring finger inside me, with his already soaked middle finger. He slids in and out of me. He works me with measured precision, stroking, circling, pressing deeper until I’m shaking against the wall.

Jasper’s mouth finds my jaw, then my throat, kissing, sucking, biting just hard enough to leave a sting. Each touch sends me spiraling closer. His lips brush the shell of my ear as he growls low, wordless, vibrating through my bones.

And then—

His fingers curl inside me.

My body bows off the wall, a strangled cry spilling into his shoulder as the world tips over. The climax rips through me like fire, shaking every limb, scattering every thought. My legs tremble, nearly giving out, and yet he still doesn’t let up — working me through it, wringing every last shudder until I’m left gasping, ruined, clinging to him for balance.

“Ride it out, princess.”
He whispers into my ear.

Finally, he pulls his hand free, slow, deliberate, dragging it along my inner thigh before slipping out of my jeans. My chest heaves, hair sticking to my damp skin, the aftermath making my body ache in the best way possible.

He zips me up like nothing happened, smoothing the fabric with a faint smirk tugging at his mouth.

I sag against the wall trying to calm my breathing, but he doesn’t move away. He leans in forehead brushing mine, his mouth ghosting over my lips as if he’s deciding whether to kiss me again.

The nightmare is gone and in its place is the feeling of his fingers in me, taste of lips.

“Whenever you need me just text me. I’ll be at your service.”
He winks looking down at me.

 

JASPER

 

God, the second my fingers brushed over her jeans, the heat of her skin presses through the fabric, I lost control.

I wanted to memorize every inch of her. Every line, every curve, every shiver she didn’t even realize she was giving me.

Even now at school, I can’t focus on anything else. My imagination is cruel, replaying what I did and what I want to do, and it’s only making the ache in my chest worse. The scent of her clung onto my fingers. It took everything in me not to lift my fingers to my mouth and taste her.

I picture pressing her against the lockers, letting me explore her completely, her lips parting in that teasing, maddening way she does. The tilt of her head, the way her lips curl in that little smirk, the way her jeans ride just so on her hips.

I imagine slipping my hand over her, letting her shiver under my touch, the chaos and the sweetness colliding in every glance, every gasp. She’s temptation and trust rolled into one, and god… I want her more than anything.

Chapter 9: Youthful impulses

LAOISE

I barely make it back to class. My legs feel like jelly, my thighs trembling from my fresh orgasm in the shed. Every step I take reminds me how his fingers felt inside of me. How he whispered in my ear.

I slip into my seat just as the bell rings, trying to ignore everyone around me. My hair is a mess, my shirt clinging to new places, my lips now lacking gloss. I yank my notebook out of my bag and flip it open, pretending I'm ready for algebra. God my hands won't stop shaking.

Jessica leans towards me, whispering loud enough for half of the class to hear.
"Where did you disappear to? You were gone forever."

I force a smile, shrugging like it's nothing.
"Bathroom."

She narrows her eyes, suspicious, but thankfully turns back when the teacher starts scribbling some formula on the board. My relief, however, is short lived because I can't stop remembering the sound of my zipper, the pressure of his fingers curling inside me, the rough scrape of the wall against my back.

Heat rushed through me so fast it makes me dizzy. I grip my pencil until my knuckles ache, but it's no use. I'm wet again, in the middle of math class, because of him.

The clock ticks slower than death itself. Numbers blur on the page and Jessica's whispers fade into static. The only thing real right now is the need pooling low in my stomach.

When the bell finally rings, I shove my things into my bag and bolt for the door. Jessica calls after me, but I don't stop.

 

JASPER

 

I sit in the classroom, pretending to take notes, but my pen never touches the paper. My hand still smells like her, feels like her.

The way she moaned into my mouth when I slipped my fingers inside her thong. The way her thighs shook when she finished on my hand. I can still feel the way her body clenched around me, tight and desperate, like she was made for me.

And fuck — I wanted more. Still do.

 

LAOISE

 

The rest of the school day drags on like a cruel joke. Every hallway feels too small, every class so suffocating. I catch glimpses of him — at his locker, slipping into history, leaning against a wall with that infuriating calm.

By the time the bell rings, I'm dead. My body aches from pretending to care about lessons, my body aches from need. I walk with Jessica toward the parking lot, nodding along to her endless chatter, but I don't hear a word. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and my pulse spikes immediately.

JASPER: Later. I'll find you.

My knees nearly unbuckle. I don't even reply. I just slip my phone back into my pocket away and pray. Jessica doesn't notice a thing.

 

JASPER

At home it doesn't get easier. If anything, it gets worse.

My family is gathered in the living room, as casually as possible. Rosalie flips through a magazine, Alice sketches something in her lap, Emmett sprawled across the couch like a king. Edward sitting by the piano, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Oh, and me? I'm standing by the door way, like a man about to confess to a murder.

Carlisle notices. Of course he does. His eyes flick to mine, calm and knowing, and he sets his book down.

"Jasper. Can we speak privately?"

Fuck.

I follow him into his office. My steps are heavy. The door clicks shut, and suddenly it's just me and Carlisle, and the silence stretches so long I can't take it.

He leans back against his desk, arms folded and eyes steady. "You seemed... distracted today."

I look away awkwardly, jaw tight. "School."

Carlisle's brows lift the smallest bit. He knows. Maybe not the details, but enough.
"Did something happen?"

Images slam into my head before I can stop them. Laoise pressed against the shed wall, her thighs trembling, her voice breaking as she begs for more. I grip the back of the chair infront of me, accidentally too hard the wood cracks.

Carlisle waits, as stiff as a stone.

His expression doesn't change, but his eyes sharpen.

"No." The answer rips from me. Quite the opposite. "I'd never. I just—" I swallow hard. "I touched her. Too much. I can't stop thinking about it."

Silence fills up the room again. My chest heaves like I'm running. Running from this embarrassment and shame.

Carliles doesn't blink. "Be specific, Jasper."

My head snaps up, heat flooding my face.
"Christ, Carliles—"

Carliles gaze is calm and steady. "If you're going to be involved with her, it's important you can talk about it honestly. What exactly did you do?"

I can't fucking believe this. My throat feels tight.
"I... put my hand down her jeans."

Carliles only nods, like I just confirmed a medical observation. "Inside or outside her undergarments?"

I nearly choke. "Are you serious?"

"Very," he says mildly. "It matters for control."

I groan, gripping the back of the chair infront of me. "Inside." The word escapes out of my mouth.

"And?" he prompts, like this is an exam I can't escape.

I drop my head into my hands. "I made her—" My voice drops to a whisper.
"— finish."

For the first time, Carliles exhales, not in judgment, but in thought. "I see."

I can't look at him. My ears burn. I'd rather be back on a battlefield than in this damn office, talking about how I made a girl finish onto my fingers.

Carliles continues, unbothered. "And how did you feel during? Any loss of restraint? Any moment where you feared you'd hurt her?"

"No," I grind out. "I was in control. But... God, Carliles, she was moaning my name in my ear, begging me for more, and I've never—" I cut myself off, shaking my head.

Carlisle's tone is calm. "Then it seems the greater danger here is not bloodlust, but your own... youthful impulses. Remember you are in a body belonging to a 19 year old."

I glare at the door, desperate to get out. "Don't call them that."

"Jasper," He says, voice firm but kind. "I know this embarrasses you. But if you're going to keep seeking out moments like this with her— and I think we both know that you will— then you need to be prepared. Desire can be just as blinding as thirst. Perhaps more."

I mutter under my breath, "Feels more, too."

Carliles ignores it, straightening. "You'll need boundaries. Privacy. And a plan."

I let out a strangled laugh. "What, are you suggesting I schedule my hookups with her on a calendar?"

"I'm suggesting," Carlisle says evenly, "that you stop treating them like accidents in sheds."

I groan again, covering my face with both hands.

"Are you two using protection?" Carliles asks suddenly, making me groan into my hands.

"No," I push out, "We haven't gone that far— yet."

"When you do, you will need to use some kind of protection. We both know that you won't need it— most likely, but I know she will think it's strange if you don't pay attention to it."

I push towards the door, needing to get out.
"Yeah, okay thanks dad I'll go buy a packet of condoms so I can go follow my youthful impulses."

The door shuts behind me.

Chapter 10: Fogged up windows

JASPER

 

Carlisle's words are still rattling around in my head. I've faced armies. I've walked away from massacres with blood up to my elbows. I've endured Maria's punishments, the burn of the venom, the endless centuries of hunger. But this?

This was torture.

"Physical relations," Carlisle had said in that patient, careful voice of his. The same voice he uses when stitching open wounds. Except this time, the wound was me. My pride. My sanity.

I couldn't look him in the eye. Not when he brought up "safe practices."

And that's why I'm parked outside a pharmacy at 6am this morning.

The sun hasn't even fully risen yet, but I'm already walking through the automatic doors of the pharmacy. The small bell rings as I step inside. I get a few curios glances of the workers, but I don't care. My mission is simple: be discreet, be quick, buy what I need, and leave.

I take a deep breath and stride towards the aisle with what I need. Boxes of condoms neatly stacked on the shelf. I grab one, feeling a little ridiculous holding it in my hand, but I straighten my back and pretend I belong here.

“Good morning.”
The clerk says, giving me a subtle smile.

“Morning.”
I reply, and actually sound a little more confident than I feel. I feel like someone could recognize me — someone who knows why I’m here — but no one does. I pay, bag it neatly and head for the door.

The breeze hits my face, and I can’t help but smirk. Mission accomplished. Now all that’s left is seeing her.

I push the packet into the front console of my mercedes, before taking off.

I walk down the hallway at school, head down, ignoring the stares. I know I look tense. I am tense. She hasn’t texted me today. I shouldn’t care, but my phone is heavy in my pocket, like it’s mocking me with its silence.

Then I see her.

She’s leaning against a locker, laughing at something Angela said, her hair curling perfectly around her shoulders, her skirt hugging her body in a way that makes my vision blur for a second. Her lipgloss glints when she bites down on her lower lip.

When her eyes meet mine, it’s like she already knows. Like she can feel the restlessness fire churning in me. Then, like she’s daring me, she pushes herself off the locker and starts walking without a word.

And like a dog on a leash, I follow

 

LAOISE

 

I don’t know what I’m doing.

No, that’s a lie. I know exactly what I’m doing.
I’m testing himself. And me.
Because since that shed, I haven’t forgotten about it. And he’s restless, like he’s holding back somehow. It’s my turn to see how far he can go.

So when I catch his eyes in the hallway and walk away, it’s deliberate.
I want to see how far he’ll go.

I get my answer quickly. Footsteps behind me, quicker than mine. The sharp tug on my wrist when he yanks me out the side door of the school. My breath catches when my back slams gently into brick, his hand braced next to my head.

“Jas—“ I start, but his mouth is already on mine.

I melt into it instantly, my hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer and closer.

Suddenly he pulls back. Just a fraction. Enough to make me whimper. His chest heaves against mine.

“My car,” he rasps, voice shredded. “Now.”

He takes my hand and gets us to the far end of the parking lot, where his car waits under the cover of trees. He takes the driver’s seat and I climb onto the passenger seat.

The silence between us stretches, thick, electric.

Then I make the first move.

I climb over the console and into his lap, straddling him before either of us can talk ourselves out of it. My palms find his shoulders, hot through the thin cotton of his shirt.

“Fuck,” he groans, head tipping back. His hands find my hips instantly, gripping tight, like he’s been waiting for this exact moment.

Our mouths crash together with no hesitation. It’s messy, lips dragging, teeth clashing, tongues tangling. His mouth tastes like mint and something darker, addictive, and I can’t get enough.

I grind down once, deliberately, and his groan vibrates straight into my chest. He’s hard beneath me, thick and hot, and I can feel him through his jeans. The friction sparks fire low in my belly.

I want more.

I fumble for the hem of his shirt, sliding my hands underneath, desperate for skin. His muscles jump under my touch, abs tightening as my nails rake gently up his sides.

“Jesus, Laoise,” he hisses, pulling back enough to look at me.
“You’ll ruin me.”

“Then let’s ruin each other.” I whisper, before dragging his mouth back to mine.

 

JASPER

 

She’s on me, straddling me, grinding down, with this tiny skirt of hers, leaving only a barrier of my jeans and her thong between us. My hands grip her hips, dragging her tighter against me, until every roll of her body lines us up perfectly.

I push her hips down harder, guiding her in a rhythm that makes us both groan. She clings to me, nails biting my shoulders, lips brushing against me.

But it’s not enough, I need to feel her.

Skin to skin.

My hand slides up her side, tugging at her shirt until I can slip under. Her bra is in the way, thin fabric stretched over her curves that make me dizzy. I cup her breast, thumb brushing her nipple through the lace. She gasps into my mouth, hips stuttering against me.

That sound— soft, broken, needy— makes me harder than I thought was possible.

“More,” she breathes, barely audible, but I hear it like a command.

I fumble with the clasp at her back, cursing under my breath until it snaps open. She laughs into the kiss, breathless, then helps me pull off her shirt and slide the straps down her arms. Suddenly she’s bare from the waist up, sitting in my lap with nothing but flushed skin and perfect, aching curves.

“Goddamn,” I mutter, staring before my mouth finds her breast.

She arches back, hair brushing the fogging windows, as I suck her nipple into my mouth. My hand palms the other, squeezing, teasing alternating until she’s moaning, rolling her hips faster against my hardness.

Her hands are everywhere— tugging at my hair, skimming my chest, fumbling with the button of my jeans. When she pops it open my vision blurs.

“You sure?” I rasp against her skin.

Her only answer is to shove her hand down fingers brushing me through my boxers. I groan, forehead dropping to her chest.

 

LAOISE

 

He’s huge. Hard and hot under my palm even through the fabric. The thought of him inside me makes my thighs clench around his hips.

I slide my hand lower, into his boxers, and wrap my fingers around him.

“God, you’re big.”

“Fuck!” His head snaps back against the seat, jaw tight, eyes squeezed shut. The sound he makes is pure, raw need.

I stroke him slowly at first, savoring the weight of him on my hand. He bucks into my fist, hips jerking uncontrollably, and that sends a thrill of power through me.

“Laoise,” he grits out, voice wrecked. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“Good,” I whisper, leaning forward to kiss his throat, sucking hard enough to leave a mark.

He shudders beneath me, hips grinding up as my strokes get faster, tighter. His hand abandons my breast to tug urgently my skirt, yanking it down. I lift my hips to help, pushing it down. My thong goes down with it leaving me bare on his lap.

He tosses them to the passenger seat. The moment I settle back down, skin to skin, the shock of him pressing against my slick heat makes both of groan loud enough to shake the car.

 

JASPER

 

She’s wet. Dripping. And she’s sitting bare on my cock, sliding over me with every tiny movement, coating me with her heat.

I’m seconds to losing it.

Her hand still works me, stroking, twisting, while she grinds down against me at the same time. It’s too much. Too good. The fogged windows blur around us, the car rocking with every moment.

I grab her wrist, stilling her strokes, because if she keeps going like that, I’ll embarrass myself.

 

LAOISE

 

We fall into it together, frantic and messy, both of us touching, teasing, desperate. I grind on his length, dragging my slick folds over his length, coating him, while he uses his fingers to circle my clit, hard and precise. We both we aren’t going to have sex right now. But feeling each other in different ways makes this hotter.

Every motion sparks fire, tighter, hotter, until I’m crying out, clutching his shoulders like I’ll shatter apart.

“Jasper!”

“Let go, princess,” he growls, thumb pressing harder. “Come for me.”

I do.

It rips through me like lightning, thighs trembling, vision flashing white as I collapse against his chest. He holds me steady, working me through it.

When I come down, I realize his cock is still hard, slick with me, pulsing against my thigh.

I want him undone too.

I push up, panting, and grabbing him again, stroking fast, twisting my wrist the way I know makes him curse.

“Fuck, Laoise,” he groans, hands gripping my hips hard enough to bruise.

I kiss him, swallowing his moans, stroking him faster, tighter, until his whole body tenses under me.

Then he’s spilling over my hand, hot and desperate, groaning into my mouth as he jerks against me.

I don’t stop until he’s shaking, undone, forehead pressing to mine.

Chapter 11: Naughty milkshakes

JASPER

 

The windows are still fogged, the air thick with the scent of her, of us. My body is rigid with the kind of restraint I hadn't needed since the battlefield.

Laoise is slumped against me, her skin hot and slick where it pressed mine, her breath shallow against my throat. She had unraveled in my arms, and I had come apart in hers, and now… there was a mess.

I reach out for the glovebox with a shaky hand and pull out a packet of napkins. It feels absurd— centuries of carnage, and here I am, fumbling with paper napkins like a teenager caught red handed.

“Hold still,” I mutter, my voice rough.

Her eyes flutter open, a lazy smirk curving her lips. “You’re seriously gonna clean me up like some kind of gentleman?”

I don’t answer, I just drag the napkin over her inner thigh, careful, my jaw locked tight at the sight of what I’ve done to her. She shivers but doesn’t stop me. I swipe over myself, less gentle, because the memory of her hand there was still making my vision swim.

She slides off my lap with a soft sigh, tugging her thong and skirt back on. By the time she’s fully dressed, she grins at me like the devil herself.

“Let’s skip rest of the day. I want to do something fun.” She says with a grin.

“Milkshakes?”
She asks, making me reverse out of my parking spot like her words are my commands.

 

LAOISE

 

We arrive at a diner 15 minutes away from the school. The diner smells like coffee and syrup, the air humming with chatter. All I notice is him. How he walks next to me, just enough that his arm brushes mine. I notice how his eyes track the curve of my skirt as I slide into a booth.

I order a strawberry milkshake, he orders vanilla, and when the waitress leaves, he sits across me like he’s carved from stone.

So I decide I need to crack him.

The milkshake arrives tall and pink, whipped cream piled on top. I wrap my lips around the star slowly, deliberately, sucking hard until my cheeks are hollowed. My tongue flicks against the plastic when I pull back.

His knuckles tighten on the edge of the table.

“Mmm.” I sigh, licking a droplet of strawberry from the corner of my lips. “So good.”

“Laoise.” His voice is a warning.

I kick his feet under the table, feigning innocence. “What?”

But when I slide my foot higher, up his calf, his hand shoots under the table and grips my ankle.

“You’re playing with fire,” he mutters.

“Then burn,” I whisper, grinning.

 

JASPER

 

Every nerve in my body is screaming. She is licking that straw like she knows exactly what it does to me, and she is right.

I force myself to drink my shake fast, finish in a few gulps. That must be the first time I’ve eaten anything but blood in years. My throat is tight, my jeans tighter.

When we finally leave, I think maybe the fresh air would cool me down. I was wrong. We find ourselves inside of an arcade. And dear god.

The arcade is worse.

Neon lights, pulsing music, the squeal of kids running past— it should’ve been a distraction.

“Basketball first,” she declares, dragging me towards the hoops. Her skirt swishes around her thighs, hypnotic.

She throws her first shot easily into the basket, smug. I match her.

It becomes war fast. Ball after ball, the machine rattling, her giggles filling the air as she tries to trash talk me.

“You’re not even that good,” she teases.

I swish three in a row. “Better than you.”

When the timer buzzes, she squeals — she’d won by two points.

“Loser owns the winner a price,” she says, eyes gleaming.

“What price?” I ask warily.

Her grin turns wicked. She leans closer, whispering in my ear, “You’ll find out later.”

 

LAOISE

 

We move from game to game, the tension strung tighter with every round.

At skee-ball, he lines up perfectly, throwing each ball smooth, consistent. I lean against him, hip brushing his as I toss mine wildly.

“Are you even trying?” He asks.

I giggle. “Maybe I like losing.”

On the racing simulator, I beat him by a mile, mostly because he kept glancing at my legs instead of the screen.

“Distracted?” I tease, swinging out of the seat.

His jaw is tight. “You’re evil.”

By the time we hit the claw machine, we are both laughing so hard I nearly double over. He actually manages to grab a stuffed bear, dropping it into the chute with ridiculous precision.

He hands it to me. “Your price.”

I hug the bear dramatically. “My hero.”

By the time we leave my skin is humming, my pulse racing.

 

JASPER

 

We race to the car, me chasing after her as she clings to her new bear.

I collapse onto the drivers seat, breathing hard. The air between us is heavy and thick. I stare at her, half in awe. She’s sitting there, flushed and out of breath.

She reaches for the front console, looking for something. Opening it her eyes open wide, looking at something. I freeze on the spot, remembering the condoms and the receipt from earlier morning.

She reaches down to the console grabbing the packet of condoms and the receipt. She scans the receipt with her eyes, before a wide grin spreads on her lips.

“You know… we won’t need these,” she says softly, brushing a finger along the edge of the package.

My jaw tightens, caught off guard and she grins, leaning in close. “I’m on the pill.”

“You… what?” I manage to say out, voice rough.

“I’m on the pill,” she repeats, casually, like it’s no big deal. Her hand brushes against my thigh, and I can’t stop the groan that escapes my mouth.

“That’s good to know,” I say, the only thought in my head, me bare inside of her. I push out the thought and start up the car.

“It’s already 8pm. I should drop you home.”

She nods, buckling her seat belt.

The drive to her house is quick and as I arrive, I want to stop her from going inside and take her in this car. Instead I give her a smile as she opens the door and gets up from her seat.

“I had fun today, Jasper.”
She says smiling widely before closing the door and running to the front door.

God how did we get here. It was only supposed to be physical.

Chapter 12: Call me a slut

LAOISE

 

Jessica corners me at my locker before I can even shut the door.

"There's a party tonight. You're coming."

Her tone leaves no room for argument, but I try anyway. "I've got—"

"Don't care." She cuts me off, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "You're not spending friday night at home. And besides Eric's place is going to be huge. Drinks, music, everyone'll be there."

I roll my eyes, but the truth is, I'm already curious. Especially when she drops the next line like bait.

"There'll be hot men."

I still my hands, fingers tight around the strap of my bag. Maybe Jasper will be there then. She grins like she caught me.

"Oh, that got your attention."

I scoff, covering too quickly. "I don't care."

Jessica smirks, leaning closer. "Sure you don't. Wear something hot. You're riding with me and Angela."

By the time I get home, I'm already tearing through my closet. Party girl instinct kicks in—
short denim skirt, hugging my hips tight and ending at the end of my cheek. A cropped black Von dutch tank top, the neck line so low it threatens trouble. No bra. Boots laced to my knees. Silver hoops, layered chains, lipgloss.

When Angela honks outside, I'm already ready.

The house is already pulsing when we pull up. The bass shakes the wall, the floor sticky under my boots. I can feel the music in my ribs, in my throat, the same way I can feel the stares as I step deeper into the house. Jessica's already disappeared, squealing towards Mike with a solo cup in hand. Typical.

I don't follow.

Not when I spot them across the room.

Edward, impossibly pretty in that strange, untouchable way. Emmett, broad shoulders filling the door way, booming laughing shaking the kitchen. And Jasper, slouched low in his chair like he's trying not to exist. Except his eyes are locked on me, sharp and unblinking.

I smirk, tugging my skirt lower on my hips just to watch his jaw tick.

"Hey, new girl." Emmett's grin is when I reach them, his gaze skimming over my outfit with an appreciative whistle. "Didn't think Forks had girls like you."

"Forks doesn't," I shoot back, leaning against the counter. "Lucky you, huh?"

Edward chuckles under his breath, but his stare is curious. Calculated. "You're Jessica's friend."

"Roommate and cousin, technically." I pop open the nearest cooler, fishing out a beer. It's warm, but I don't care. "You guys don't usually do parties, do you?"

"We adapt," Edward says simply. His tone makes it sound like an inside joke I'm not privy to.

Emmett snorts. "We're people's people."

"Speak for yourself," Jasper mutters, his drawl thick, his gaze still stuck on me.

I tilt my head, biting back a grin. "Not a party guy?"

His lips twitch, almost a smile, before he looks away.

 

JASPER

 

She's baiting me. Every word out of her mouth, every flick of her hair, every slow drag of her tongue against the lip of her bottle— it's all for me. And it's working.

Emmett's talking to her, his voice too loud, his jokes too easy. Edward's staring like he knows something he won't say.

And she's looking at me. Always back at me.

I should leave. I should get up and walk out before I do something reckless.

But I don't.

I take a sip of the beer instead, bitter and warm, and pretend it's keeping me grounded.

"Not a party guy?" She teases, eyes glinting.

My mouth almost betrays me. Almost. I clamp down on the words. Not unless you're the party.

Instead, I mutter, "Not my kind of crowd."

She laughs, tipping her head back, throat exposed, pulse fluttering. My hand tightens around the bottle until I hear it creak.

Emmett claps me on the back, nearly spilling it. "Hey, soldier boy. You got yourself a hot piece of a girl right here."

He whispers to my ear, his eyes skimming over her body. I almost lose it.

"She's not—" I start, but my voice is too rough. Edward smirks like he's already heard the rest of the thought.

"Not yours?" he says, low enough only I can hear it.

I don't answer.

Because Emmett is walking her towards the kitchen island with two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka.

 

LAOISE

 

I take like three shots of some vodka Emmett had carried around. It tastes like shit.

It doesn't take long before someone suggests a game.

Truth or Dare.

Of course.

We end up in a circle on the living room floor, red cups in hand, bodies pressed shoulder to shoulder. The Cullens sit with us, which has everyone already buzzing.

The dares start tame— kiss so- and- so, chug your drink, do a stupid dance. Then it escalates. Shirts come off. People shriek. Mike does a handstand and falls into the TV.

Then Yorkie smirks, pulling out his phone.

"I dare you," he points at some sophomore,
"to guess who this is."

He flashes the screen.

The picture is grainy, dark, but unmistakable if you know what you're looking for. A car windows fogged. A girl straddling a boy, his head buried in her chest.

My stomach drops.

It's us.

 

JASPER

 

I go cold.

The room bursts into laughter, catcalls, guesses flying left and right.

"Holy shit!" someone yells. "That's hot! Bro has his whole head in her tits!"

"Looks like Angela."

"No way, she'd never!"

"Then who?"

Besides me, Edward's jaw tightens. His eyes flick between me and Laoise, quick, knowing.

Emmett catches is. Then he laughs. Loud. Too loud.

"Yeah, alright," he says, grabbing Yorkie's phone. He deletes the photo. "That's me. Me and this some girl from Port Angeles. Can't even remember her name."

He winks. "What can I say? Girl had some nice tits."

The room howls. The tension breaks. Yorkie groans about his dare being wasted, and just like that, the spotlight lifts.

But Laoise's eyes are on me.

And she's not smiling.

 

LAOISE

 

I don't even know why I'm mad.

Maybe because he didn't say anything. Thank god for Emmett. Jasper didn't even blink when the picture went around. But we did promise to keep this a secret.

So when some boy slides next to me, grinning, smelling like cheap vodka and body spray, I don't push him away.

He talks too much, brags about his car, about the keg he helped set up, about the girls he's "been with." His hand too long on my thigh.

I laugh at his jokes anyway. Lean closer. Let him think he's winning.

Because I know Jasper is watching.

And when I glance across the room, I see it—
the tight set of his jaw, the way his grip strangles his empty cup, the dangerous calm in his eyes.

Good.

Let him burn.

 

JASPER

 

I can't watch this.

She's laughing at his jokes, leaning in, letting his hand crawl up her thigh like it belongs there.

It doesn't.

It should never.

Something inside me snaps.

I'm on my feet before I think, before Edward's warning glance can stop me. I cross the room, grab her wrist, and haul her up.

"Jasper—" she starts, but I don't give her the chance to talk.

I drag her down the hall, up the stairs, shoving open the first empty door I find. The bathroom. I slam it shut, lock clicking into place.

Her back hits the counter, bottles rattling. Her eyes flashing.

"What the hell—"

I cut her off with my mouth.

 

LAOISE

 

His kiss is fire, scorching, bruising. His hands grip my hips so hard I'll feel it tomorrow.

I want to fight. I want to tell him he can't just drag me away like that.

But his tongue slides against mine, his thighs slot between mine, and I'm gone.

"Were his jokes even funny?" He growls against my lips, teeth scraping my bottom lip.

I smirk, breathless. "Hilarious."

His answer is to shove my skirt up, fingers sliding under my thong so fast I gasp.

"Don't lie to me."

He kneels infront of me and then his mouth is on me.

 

JASPER

 

I drop to my knees, yank her underwear aside, and bury my face between her thighs.

The taste of her hits me like a punch. Sweet. Addictive. Mine.

She cries out, grabbing the edge of the sink for balance as my tongue drags slowly up her slit, circling her clit.

“Fuck— Jasper—“

I grip her thighs, holding her open, licking, sucking, teasing until she’s trembling. She grips onto my hair with her fist, grinding against my mouth, needy, desperate, chasing every flick of my tongue.

But I don’t let her fall. Not yet.

Everytime she gets close, I pull back, switching to slow, lazy circles until she whines.

“Please,” she pants, nails clawing at my hair.
“Please, don’t stop.”

I smirk against her, sliding two fingers deep inside her as my tongue flicks faster.

She arches, back hitting the mirror, a scream caught in her throat.

“Not until you beg.”

 

LAOISE

 

I hate him. I hate him for this.

For making me beg, for holding me hostage with his mouth and his fingers, for knowing exactly how to pull me apart and then stopping right before I break.

“Jasper, please—“

He groans like my desperation feeds him. His tongue presses harder, his fingers curling, stroking that spot that makes me see stars.

I’m sobbing his name, grinding against his face, riding his hand, anything, everything, and then I’m gone.

The orgasm rips through me so hard I scream, shaking, clenching around his fingers until I nearly collapse.

He doesn’t stop.

He pushes me higher, licking me through the aftershocks, until I’m crying out again, nails raking his shoulders, my thighs trembling around his head.

And still, it’s not enough.

 

JASPER

 

I can’t stop.

She’s drunk, needy, messy, and I want all of it.

I yank her top down, breasts spilling into my hands. I suck one nipple into my mouth, groaning when she arches against me. My free hand fists around my cock through my jeans, grinding against her thigh.

Her lips crash against mine, desperate, sloppy, tasting of beer and sugar. She grabs my hand, shoves it back between her thighs.

“Again,” she gasps. “Do it again.”

So I do.

“Fuck you’re so needy, aren’t you, princess?”

My fingers slam into her, my thumb circling her clit, my mouth biting her throat, her chest, everywhere I can reach.

She rides my hand like she’s trying to break me, moaning into my ear, begging, cursing.

And when she comes again, screaming, shaking against the bathroom counter, I know I’ll never be the same.

 

LAOISE

 

His lips are swollen, slick with me. His pupils are blown wide, his chest heaving like he just went ten rounds in a fight.

And he’s hard as a rock.

I can feel it pressing against my thigh when he steps between my legs again.

“You’re not done,” he mutters, voice ragged, like he’s punishing himself as much as me.

I laugh, breathless, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Neither are you.”

It takes him all of two seconds to rip it off. His skin is warm, golden, smooth under my palms. My nails drag down his chest just to hear the groan that rumbles out of him.

Then I go for his belt.

He catches my wrist halfway, eyes burning into mine. “You sure?”

I smirk, leaning in close enough that my lips brush his ear. “Do I look unsure?”

His restraint finally shatters.

 

JASPER

 

Her hands are on my belt, tugging it loose, and I let her. Because I can’t not.

Her skirt rides higher as I yank it up, thong already ruined, clinging to her. She wriggles out of it, boots still on, laughing breathlessly when I curse under my breath.

Piece by piece, she comes undone for me. Top sliding over her head, hair falling wild around her face, boots finally kicked against the tiled wall. She’s standing in nothing but her jewelry and flushed skin, and I swear I almost come from the sight alone.

She pushes at my jeans, shoving them down until I’m free, and then her hand wraps around me.

“God—“ I choke, hips bucking into her grip.

“Sensitive?” She teases, but her eyes are glassy, lips parted, chest heaving.

I grab her wrist, pinning it against the mirror.
“You’re the one who just fucked themselves on my fingers repeatedly.”

Her grin is wicked.

 

LAOISE

 

I hook my legs around his waist, grinding against him shamelessly. The head of his cock slides through my slick folds, not quite inside, but enough to make us both gasp.

“Fuck, Jasper—“

He bites into my throat, holding me there, rutting against me like he’s losing his mind. The friction is maddening, sharp and perfect, every drag of him against my clit making me see sparks.

“I’ve known you for a week, and I’ve already seen you naked twice.” He growls, voice shaking.

“Yeah? Why don’t you call me a slut while you fuck me, Jasper.”

He curses, low and vicious. He holds me up, taking a hold of his cock. He presses it on my entrance, making me gasp.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

 

A/N

Hey babies! I hope you’re loving the story. I took a couple days off due to a family emergency, but I’m slowly trying to get back into this story. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this story so please leave a comment. Thank you for reading!

Chapter 13: Dirty bastard

LAOISE

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Occupied!" Jasper snaps, his voice rough and breathless.

Another knock and laughter outside. "Come on, hurry up in there, people need to piss!"

My pulse is racing. My straddling Jasper, my body lacking clothing, my boots in the other corner of the bathroom, Jasper's hard cock hard against me and his jeans pooled around his ankles. He's panting like crazy, eyes wide open.

"We—shit," he mutters, dragging himself back from his thoughts.

I laugh, breathless and wild. "Guess we need to get out."

"Not funny," he growls placing me quickly down on my shaking feet.

"It's hilarious," I shoot back, both of grabbing our shirts off the floor. I tug my skirt back on. My top is a mess, straps twisted, chest bare. He grabs it, fixes it for me with shaking hands. His touch makes me bite my lips, eyes flicking to his mouth.

Another bang at the door. "Seriously, wrap it up!"

"Fuck," Jasper mutters. He snatches up my thong from the tile and presses it into my hand.

I smirk, holding it up. "What do you want me to do with this, cowboy? We don't exactly have time for modesty."

His jaw ticks. "Put them on."

"No time." I shove them into his back pocket instead. Smirking as he freezes at the feel of the lace. "Hold onto those for me, will you?"

He glares, trying to look angry, but his ears go red.

I smooth my hair, swipe some lip gloss on my lips, and pull the door open with a grin.

The hallway is packed. Two guys stumble past us into the bathroom, whooping. No one pays attention to us.

But Jasper stays so close behind me that his chest brushes my back, his hand hovering at my waist like he's afraid someone else will notice.

Good.

Let them wonder.

 

JASPER

 

She's still drunk, still laughing, still glowing like a devil in that tiny skirt. And now she's pantyless in a house full of horny teenagers.

I'm going to hell.

She knows what she's doing. Every sway of her hips, every flip of her hair, every glance she gives me.

And the lace is still in my pocket, burning onto my skin.

Back in the living room, the circle is gone. Music's blasting again, people shouting, cups clinking. Emmett's at the center of it, red cup balanced on his forehead while he chugs another one upside down. The crowd roars.

Laoise squeals with laughter, running straight into the mix. She cheers and claps, then throws me a wicked look. "You gonna play, cowboy?"

I shake my head, jaw tight. "Not my game."

She pouts, acting sad, before leaning in close enough that her lips brush my ear. "Maybe later I'll let you play with me again."

I nearly choke.

 

LAOISE

 

I can't stop. Teasing him is way too easy. Every time I shift my legs, I can feel the air slide where it shouldn't. Every time I bend, I wonder if he's watching, if he's thinking about what's missing under my skirt.

Spoiler: he is.

Flip cups turns into shots. Shots turn into dancing. Jessica reappears, dragging me onto the sticky living room floor, screaming lyrics at the top of her lungs. I let her spin me, twirl me, my hair flying.

When I stumble back, Jasper's hand is there at my waist instantly, steadying me. His grip is iron. His eyes hungry.

"Careful," he mutters, low enough that no one else can hear.

I smirk, pressing closer, whispering, "You worried I'll flash the whole party, cowboy?"

His nostrils flare but he doesn't answer.

 

JASPER

 

God, she looks so good and carefree.

Every time she laughs, every time she bends, every time she whispers some dirty little comment I feel like I’m about to burst.

Edward keeps smirking at me from across the room, hearing every thought of mine. I know he’s enjoying this. Asshole.

And Emmett? He’s loving it. Or her. He throws an arm around her. “You’re right, Laoise. Forks needed you.”

She laughs, tucking under his arm, and my gut twists.

Her voice cuts through the noise: “Better than you expected, huh?”

Emmett grins. “Way better.”

I grind my teeth so hard I nearly break them.

She glances at me then, all teasing eyes, like she knows what I’m thinking.

 

LAOISE

 

Hours blur into laughter, shots, games. At one point, Edward sits beside me, dry smile tugging his mouth.

“You’re trouble,” he says, quietly, like it’s a fact.

I grin, sipping from my cup. “Took you this long to notice?”

He huffs a laugh, eyes flicking to Jasper across the room. “You have no idea.”

By the time music fades, the crowd has thinned. Jessica’s gone, her giggles trailing upstairs with Mike. Yorkie’s passed out on the couch. Someone’s crying in the kitchen over spilled vodka.

And me? I lean back on the sofa, my feet on Jasper’s lap, as he massages them gently.

 

JASPED

 

Edward insists we drive her home. She’s still pretty drunk and her so called designated driver ended up sleeping at Yorkie’s. Emmett tags along, of course.

She slides into the backseat beside me, her thigh brushing mine, her skirt riding up high. Edward drives, calm and silent, but his jaw tight. The radio plays 4 Minutes by Madonna and Justin Timberlake. Emmett fills the air with nonsense, laughing about the party, about Mike’s disastrous attempt at beer pong.

And Laoise leans into me, lips close to my ear.

“You still have them, don’t you?” she whispers.

Not that it’s making it any difficult for Emmett and Edward to hear it.

My pulse spikes. “What?”

“My panties.”

Her laugh is wicked when I joke on my own breath.

I don’t answer. I can’t.

She knows anyway.

Her hand sneaks onto my thigh, nails dragging slow.

Emmett’s still talking. Edward’s still driving.

And I am dying.

 

LAOISE

 

When they pull up outside my house, I’m all giggles and gloss again.

I blow Emmett and Edward a kiss, then lean into Jasper.

“I’ll walk you to your door.”

He says unbuckling my seat belt for me.

“Wow. A real gentleman, aren’t you?”

I grin getting out of the car. We walk up to the door his back brushing mine. I turn to face him feeling sad to say goodbye, already.

“Keep them,” I say, him exactly knowing what I’m talking about.

“A little souvenir from me.”

He smirks. “I wasn’t planning on giving them back anyway.”

“Oh wow. Do you have a habit of stealing girls panties?” I ask him, lifting my eyebrow jokingly.

“A new habit. But only this certain girls panties.”

“Goodnight, cowboy,” I murmur, lips brushing his jaw, close enough to feel him stiffen.
“Sweet dreams.”

Then I’m gone, boots clacking into the house, laughter trailing behind me.

I don’t look back, but I know he’s watching.

 

JASPER

 

The second I get back to the car, it’s silent.

Then Emmett explodes. “What the fuck was that in the bathroom. And what was the talk about her panties.”

I groan, pressing a hand over my face.

Edward’s smirk is sharp in the rear view mirror. “So it wasn’t just me hearing every single filthy thought in your head tonight.”

“Shut up,” I mutter.

Emmett whoops. “You dirty bastard! No wonder you were glued to her all night. Christ, Jas, she’s been in Forks five minutes and already—“

“Enough,” I snap. My voice cracks like a whip, too sharp, too dangerous.

Silence.

Then Edward, soft but knowing: “She’s not just some distraction for you, is she?”

I don’t answer.

Because I don’t know.

All I know is the taste of her still on my tongue. The sound of her laugh in my ears. The lace burning a hole in my pocket.

And the terrifying truth that I’ll never get enough.

Chapter 14: You ghosting me, cowboy?

LAOISE

 

The week after the party drags like molasses.

Forks High is still Forks High— grey skies, damp halls, the same gossip looping like bad radio. Jessica won’t shut up about her night with Mike, and somehow Yorkie’s become the tragic hero of the house party because he passed out so early. Every time someone brings it up, the whole cafeteria bursts into laughter.

I’m careful with Yorkie. The stunt he pulled with the picture could’ve had me ruined.

I’m chewing on a straw, staring at my phone under the table like it owes me an answer.

Nothing.

No text from Jasper after that night.

At first I thought maybe he was embarrassed about the bathroom thing. Or maybe Edward or Emmett had ragged on him too much. But by Wednesday, my irritation curled into something worse— this weird, restless ache I couldn’t shake.

None of the Cullens haven’t been to school this week.

I keep remembering the way his voice cracked when I asked him to fuck me. The way his hands trembled when he shoved my thong into his pocket.

And now? He’s just gone.

Jessica nudges me, smirking. “Okay, who are you texting under the table? Spill.”

I snap the phone face down. “No one. Just bored.”

“Uh-huh.” She ignores it, flipping her hair. “That party lit a fire under you. I can finally see your spark coming back since— well you know.”

I flinch as Jessica tries to bring up the past.

 

That night, I cave.

I scroll my contact list, find his number, hover.

Then:

Me: You ghosting me, cowboy?

I stare, chewing my lip. Three dots appear, then vanish. Then appear again. My pulse kicks.

Finally.

Jasper: Not ghosting. Out of town w/family. Vacation thing.

A lie. I can feel it in my bones. But it doesn’t matter. He replied.

Me: must be nice.
Me: guess I’ll just have to survive school without you glaring at my ass.

This time his reply is faster.

Jasper: Why don’t you send me a picture of it then, so I can glare at it from here.
Jasper: thank god I still have this little souvenir you left me.

My jaw drops. My thumbs flying.

Me: oh my god.
Me: YOU STILL HAVE THEM

Jasper: in my pocket. Where they belong.

I nearly choke on my own breath.

 

JASPER

 

The hunting trip is supposed to clear my head.

It doesn’t.

The forest is alive with sound.

Leafs crunching underfoot, the air sharp and clean, my senses thrumming with prey all around us. Deer scatter in the distance, elk shifting lower in the valley, their hearts hammering fast enough for me to count each pulse.

But none of it grounds me.

Not the taste of fresh blood on my tongue. Not even the quiet discipline of the hunt. Not even the silence between by siblings as they fall back into their usual patterns.

Because in my pocket— the same pocket that still holds a scrap of lace I haven’t let go of— my phone keeps buzzing.

I don’t answer. Not yet. Not when I can feel Emmett’s grin burning a hole into the side of my head.

“You’re distracted,” he drawls. “And I think I know why.”

Edward huffs a laugh under his breath. Of course he does— he doesn’t even need to guess.

I glare. “Drop it.”

“Drop it?” His laugh booms through the trees. “Hell no. She’s hot, Jas. I’ll give you that. Little miss short skirt and lip gloss — she got you wrapped around her finger already? You sneaked into the bathroom with her. You didn’t even last ten minutes in there before stumbling out, looking like you’d gone twelve rounds.”

Edward chuckles low. “It was eight minutes. I was timing.”

My head snaps toward him. “Stay out of my mind.”

He shrugs, infuriatingly calm. “You’re the one broadcasting. It’s not like I wanted the play-by-play… but you were certainly thinking loud enough.”

Carlisle clears his throat but doesn’t stop running. His voice is careful, measured. “Is this something we need to worry about?”

Before I can answer, Emmett laughs even louder. “Oh, you should worry, Carlisle. Our boy here? Freaky. Real freaky. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that wild, and I wasn’t even in the room.”

My jaw tightens. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Edward, of course, ignores me. “Actually, I do. Want me to paint the picture?”

Carlisle sighs. “Edward.”

But Emmett grins like Christmas came early. “Yes. Paint the picture. Go on, don’t hold back.”

Edward’s eyes glint with wicked amusement. “Fine. He had her up on the counter. Begging him. She told him to fuck her. And Jasper—“
He smirks at me—“you were ready to do it. You wanted to take her raw, right there, until someone knocked on the door.”

Carlisle actually stops running, turning sharply. His brows lift, composed but unmistakable shocked. “Jasper.”

Emmett doubles over, laughing hard.
“Holy shit. I knew it was hot in there, but that hot? Damn, Jas, you’ve been holding out on us. Little miss short skirt got you this worked up?”

I clench my fist so hard the bark of the nearest tree cracks under my grip. “Enough.”

But Edward doesn’t stop. “He still has her underwear, you know. Carried them out of the house like a trophy.”

Carlisle pinches the bridge of his nose, muttering something about restraint. Emmett howls, smacking me on the back. “You dirty son of a bitch! Jasper Whitlock Hale, the gentleman soldier, carrying panties in his pocket like a goddamn frat boy. I think I finally like you.”

I growl low in my chest, every nerve sparking with fury and embarrassment.

 

LAOISE

 

By Friday night, I’m already missing him. Which is bad, because we agreed on only being physical. But I can’t help but think that we have developed a friendship some sort. But that’s the furthest it can go on my end. I’m ruined and I can’t drag someone else down with me.

Me: what would you have done if no one knocked?

Jasper: Bent you over the sink. Pulled your hair. Made you choke on your moans.

Me: Fuck.

Jasper: Want me to stop?

Me: No.

Jasper: then spread your legs. Touch that pretty pussy for me.

My heart hammers so loud I swear Jessica could heart it through the wall. I slide my hand under my blanket.

Me: Tell me how.

Jasper: Two fingers. Slow. Push them inside. Pretend it’s me.

I obey, gasping into the dark.

Me: Wet already.

Jasper: Good girl. Rub your clit. Hard. Until you can’t breathe.

I bite the edge of my pillow, hips rolling helplessly.

Me: Fuck, Jasper.

Jasper: Moan for me, princess. Imagine my fingers stretching you wide. Slamming into you until you scream my name.

The orgasm tears through me so fast I nearly sob. Fingers trembling, thighs slick, body shaking.

Me: Thank you, Jasper😉

Jasper: Good girl.

Me: When you coming back?

Jasper: Monday night. Will I see you then?

Me: Yup.😋

Chapter 15: Fuck you

LAOISE

 

Monday finally comes, and I wake up with electricity in my chest. A whole week without Jasper has been torture. My nightmares have been getting more consistent, waking me up in the middle of the night. Hearing familiar whispers all around me.

The hallway stares, the slow morning, even Jessica’s endless chatter— none of it filled the silence he left behind.

But today? Today he’s back.

I take extra time getting ready— lip gloss smoothed twice, hair straightened just right. I even wear the short skirt he couldn’t keep his eyes off of at the party, with sheer tights and boots and a sweater. Every detail chosen like I’m stepping into a runway.

I can’t stop smiling. God Laoise calm down. It’s only physical, remember?

Even Jessica notices at breakfast in the cafeteria. “You’re glowing. Spill.”

I roll my eyes, twirling the straw in my orange juice. “I’m just in a good mood, thats all.”

“Uh-huh.” She narrows her eyes but doesn’t push.

The Cullens’ usual table is empty. Of courseZ They’re only getting back today. But tonight— I’ll see him. Tonight, I’ll finally stop feeling this restless ache.

The day drags in a haze of anticipation. I doodle little cowboy hats on my biology notebook. I catch myself biting my lip so hard that Yorkie gapes at me like I’ve grown horns. Every tick of the clock feels like a dare.

By the time last period ends, I’m buzzing.

So when Bella Swan approaches me at my locker, biting her lip, eyes darting like she’s carrying a bomb in her hands, I almost snap.

“What?” I say, slamming my locker shut.

“We need to talk,” She blurts.

“About?”

She glances around nervously, then jerks her chin towards the back doors. “Not here. In the woods.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Wow. Creepy much?”

“Please,” she says, almost begging.

I sigh, annoyed but curious, and follow.

“Fine, but don’t murder me. I have important plans tonight.”

 

The damp smell of pine hits as soon as we step off the path. Bella stops, spins on her heel, and fixes on me with wide eyes.

“You know, right?” she whispers.

“About… what?” I cross my arms, shifting my weight.

“Edward. Jasper. The Cullens. They’re not—“
She cuts herself off, shaking her head. “You must know. You’ve been with Jasper. You’ve been…” she flushes. “…close with him.”

My stomach lurches. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“They’re vampires,” she blurts.

For a moment, the forest holds its breath.

Then I laugh. A sharp, disbelieving sound.
“Vampires? Really? That’s what you dragged me out here for? Jesus, Bella, I thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant or something.”

Her face goes pale. “Oh god. You really didn’t know.”

“You’ve lost your damn mind.” I turn, but she grabs my wrist.

“Think about it! The way they move. The way they look. The way Jasper- he doesn’t breathe sometimes, does he? He doesn’t eat. His fast motions. You’ve noticed, you just didn’t want to admit it.”

Her words crash over me, every syllable planting itself in places I don’t want to look. The coldness of his hands. The unnatural golden shade of his eyes some days. The way he never seemed to blink when he watched me.”

I rip my hand free. “You’re insane.”

“Laoise,” she says softly, “I know it sounds crazy. But it’s real.”

This makes me stop.

“You’re telling me Edward Cullen just casually said, “Hey bella, by the way, I’m a vampire’?”

Her blush betrays her. “I figured it out. I thought maybe you had too.”

“And you just assume Jasper has told me?”

“Well… yeah. I mean, you two…”

I scoff, spinning on my heel and storming back towards school. “You need help, Swan. Like actual psychiatric help.”

But her words won’t leave me.

Vampire.

 

Jasper texts me that evening, like clockwork.

“Out front.”

I grab my jacket, heart hammering, and rush outside. His car gleams under the streetlamp, and when I slide in, his scent nearly overwhelms me.

But my giddiness curdles the second I see his eyes.

Too bright. Too knowing.

“Where were you all week?” I demand.

“Vacation. I already told you?” He mutters.

“With your family?”

“Yeah.”

My laugh is harsh. “Funny. Bella Swan says it wasn’t exactly sun bathing you were doing.”

His hands tighten on the steering wheel.
“What?”

“She says you’re a vampire.” I spit the word like venom.

Silence. Heavy. Crushing.

Then: “Laoise—“

“Don’t.” My chest heaves. “Don’t fucking lie to me.”

His jaw works, muscles tickling. He doesn’t deny it. He doesn’t fucking deny it.

And that’s worse than any confession.

I slam my palm against his chest. “You were feeding me bullshit about family vacation while you were out— what? Sucking blood? Hunting people?”

His eyes snap to mine, burning. “Animals. We hurt animals.”

“Oh, well that makes it all fine then, doesn’t it.”
I shove him again. My voice breaks, caught between fury and frustration. “Do you have any idea how insane this is? How fucking stupid I feel? You’re not even— you’re not even human.”

He growls low, sharp, frustrated. “You think I wanted you to know? You think I wanted this?”

“You used me!” I shout. “You— fuck—you made me beg you to fuck me, knowing the whole time that you’re—“

His hands shoot out, gripping my wrists. Not hard, but unyielding. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Let me go.”

“No.”

I twist, yank, but he doesn’t budge. “You don’t own me, Jasper! You don’t get to play monster and cowboy all at once. Pick one!”

“Damn it, Laoise!” His shout rattles the windows. “You think you can just walk away from this? From me?”

My palm cracks across his cheek before I can stop it. The sound echoes like a gunshot.

“No man is going to tell me what I can do!”

We stare at each other, breathless, the air thick with fury and something else—
something darker, needier.

“Fuck you,” I whisper, shoving the door open.

And I run.

 

JASPER

 

The living room is tense when I storm in.

Carlisle sits with his hands steepled, Esme beside him. Rosalie leans against the wall, arms crossed, eyes sharp. Emmett sprawls in an armchair, but his grin is gone. Edward paces, jaw tight, eyes distant.

“She knows,” I growl.

Rosalie’s lip curls. “Wonderful. Another Swan situation.”

“Not quite,” Edward says. His eyes flick towards me. “This one’s… messier.”

“Messier?” Rosalie snaps. “She’s a human who knows too much. That’s already messed up.”

Carlisle lifts a hand. “Let’s not jump to conclusions. Jasper— what exactly happened?”

I stay silent. Edward sighs. “They fought. She slapped him. She’s frustrated, confused, angry. And he…” His smirk is bitter. “Isn’t exactly helping.”

Emmett whistles low. “Damn, Jas. That bad, huh?”

“She thinks I lied to her,” I mutter.
“That I used her.”

“Did you?” Rosalie challenges.

I glare at her. “No.”

Carlisle leans forward. “I had an interesting conversation in town earlier. Jessica Stanley’s mother was telling me about her niece— the new girl living with them. Apparently, she left California to escape a very troubled past. A toxic ex-boyfriend. Abusive, by the sound of it.”

I go still.

God.

I fucked up.

Esme’s face softens with sorrow. “That poor girl.”

Rosalie’s frown deepens. “Which means she’s fragile. And know she knows about us? This is dangerous, Carlisle.”

“More dangerous than you realize,” Edward says quietly. “She’s already connecting her past pain to this. She doesn’t trust easily. And Jasper— She doesn’t trust you now.”

Something snaps in me. The thought of someone hurting Laoise— of her crying, flinching, begging someone not to break her.

I growl, it shaking the walls.

Emmett sits up straighter. “Whoa. Easy there, brother.”

I can’t stop. The image of her with some bastard’s hands on her makes me see red. My fists curl.

Carlisle’s voice cuts through the storm, firm and low. “Jasper. Breathe.”

Esme adds softly, “she needs compassion, not rage. If she truly knows about us, then we must be careful. About her. About all of this.”

Rosalie shakes her head. “Careful isn’t enough. She’s a liability. She could ruin us.”

“No,” I snarl, finally meeting their eyes.
“She won’t,”

The room falls silent.

 

A/n

Hey babies! Oop dramaa! Laoise’s troubled past is finally cracking open. Please let me know your thoughts! Thank you for reading.💕

Chapter 16: Huge fucking cucumber

LAOISE

 

My room feels like a coffin. Four walls pressing in, suffocating. I can still feel the heat of Jasper's chest under my palm, the sharp recoil in my hand after the slap, the stunned fury in his golden eyes. I pace, barefoot on the hardwood, hoodie sleeves hanging over my fists. My mirror catches me—hair wild, mascara smudged—and I slam the door shut so I don't have to look.

How could he not tell me? How could he let me fall into him, giving him my body, while keeping something that massive locked behind his teeth?

I collapse onto my bed, my body vibrating with exhaustion.

Sometime in the night, I drift into dreams that feel more like traps.

He's there. Not Jasper—him. The shadow I clawed my way free from. His hands are on me, heavy, bruising, too familiar. He pushes me into the wall, murmuring poison into my ear. I can't breathe. I can't move. I feel the cold bite of his knuckles grazing my jaw—

No one will ever want you, Laoise! Can't you see. I'm all you have!"

I jolt awake, drenched in sweat, breath ragged, the dark pressing down on me. My sheets feel strangling. I kick them off, sit up, clutch my chest like I can keep my heart from tearing through.

It's Tuesday morning. And I hate it.

I pull on sweatpants and an oversized hoodie, hood up so no one can look me in the eyes, and shuffle to school like a ghost.

The halls are loud, but it all slides past me. Jessica bounces at my side, chattering about Mike's dumb jokes, about a new nail polish she saw in Port Angeles. I nod, hum, let her words wash over me.

And then I feel him.

Jasper.

At the end of the hall, leaning against the lockers like sin in denim and leather. His eyes find mine instantly, heat flooding the space between us. My stomach twists, my body remembering before my brain can protest.

I rip my gaze away, shove my hands deeper into my hoodie pocket, keep walking.

"Hey," Jessica chirps, "you okay?"

"Peachy." My voice is flat as stone.

Jasper doesn't stop watching me. He doesn't try to talk. Not yet.

But I feel him trailing.

Everywhere I go that day—he's there. Cafeteria, a few tables down. Biology, sliding into his seat with too-casual grace. In gym, where I sit out with a "stomach ache," he leans against the bleachers, arms crossed, jaw tight.

I ignore him. Pretend he doesn't exist.

But my skin knows. My skin is screaming.

 

JASPER

 

She looks at me like I'm a stranger. Worse. Like I'm nothing.

Her hoodie swallows her, her shoulders hunched, eyes glued to the ground. It kills me—every inch of her wrapped up, hiding herself away. When just last week she lit up a room in her little skirt, laughing, throwing herself into life like fire into kindling.

I want to go to her, beg her, explain—but my throat locks. My family's words keep buzzing in my head. She doesn't trust you now. She's fragile. She's dangerous.

Maybe. But she's Laoise.

So I do the only thing I can do is stay close.

In Biology, I slide a coffee onto her desk, steam curling from the lid. Vanilla syrup, double shot. She doesn't even look at it. Doesn't touch it.

In the hall, I keep pace a few steps behind, close enough to keep assholes from staring at her legs, but not so close she'll bite my head off.

When her pen rolls off her desk in English, I catch it mid-air and set it silently in front of her. She doesn't thank me.

I'd take a punch over this silence.

 

LAOISE

 

By Wednesday, the silence has calcified. My hoodie smells like sleep and sweat, my notebooks are empty because I can't focus, and my appetite's gone. Jessica notices but doesn't push too hard.

"Girl, you're like... allergic to fun lately," she says at lunch, poking at her Jell-O.

I stab my fries without eating them. "Yeah. Well."

Jasper's across the room, untouched tray in front of him, golden eyes boring into me. I haven't spoken a word to him since Monday. I don't want to. The weight of his stare is louder than shouting.

I refuse to break first.

 

JASPER

 

Thursday nearly drives me insane.

She drops her books in the hall—too many stacked, slipping from her arms. Before I can stop myself, I'm there, kneeling, gathering them up. Our fingers brush, and she jerks like I burned her.

"Don't." One word. A knife.

I clench my jaw, press the books into her arms, step back.

But when she stumbles on the icy steps outside, I steady her elbow before she can fall. She rips herself free like my touch is acid.

I've fought wars, lived through slaughter, starvation, centuries of blood. Nothing has ever felt as torturous as this week.

 

LAOISE

 

By Friday, Jessica's had enough.

"You're coming out with me," she declares, hands on her hips at my locker.

"Hard pass."

"Nope. You're sulking. You need wine."

"We're underage."

She grins, wicked. "Cheap liquor store guy doesn't care. And there's this pub in town that totally serves us if we don't act stupid. We'll get buzzed, dance to shitty music, forget our tragic lives for a night."

I should say no. I should crawl back into my bed-shaped coffin and wallow.

Instead, I find myself nodding.

The bottle is plastic, the wine inside tastes like sugared vinegar, and it burns going down—but by the third swig, it's not so bad. Jessica and I sit cross-legged on her bedroom floor, music thumping low, giggling over nothing.

"Okay, okay," Jessica slurs, refilling our cups. "If you could hook up with anyone at Forks High—"

"God, no." I cut her off, gulping. "High school boys are disgusting. Little dicks and no clue what to do with them."

She chokes on her drink, laughing. "Laoise!"

"What? It's true."

We're already tipsy when we sneak out, jackets pulled tight, breeze tickling my legs, the night air sharp with rain. The pub is dim, sticky floors and neon beer signs, but the bartender doesn't blink when we order. Cheap cider, watery shots. The world blurs warm and sloppy.

By the time we stumble out, arm in arm, the streets are spinning.

"Best idea ever," Jessica hiccups.

"Fuck yes," I giggle, almost tripping on the curb.

Headlights sweep across us, a car slowing. I squint, shielding my eyes. A Jeep.

The window rolls down and Emmett's booming laugh explodes into the night. "Well, well, look what we've got here. Two lost ducklings."

Alice leans over from the passenger seat, eyes twinkling. "Need a ride, girls?"

Jessica squeals, grabbing my arm. "Yes please! Before my feet die."

I feel hesitant, but the alcohol in my system makes my critical thinking skills smush.

We tumble into the back seat, giggling messes. The Jeep smells like leather and pine.

The Jeep rumbles down the wet road, rain streaking the windows. Jessica's practically bouncing in her seat. Alice twists around, her pixie face lit up with wicked curiosity. Emmett keeps glancing in the rearview, already grinning like a lunatic.

"So," Alice says sweetly, "tell us everything about Jasper."

I groan dramatically, throwing my head back. "You don't understand. He's... he's insane. Like, I thought guys were just fumbling idiots, you know? But Jasper..."

Jessica leans in, eyes wide. "What about him?! HAVE YOU BEEN WITH JASPER FUCKING CULLEN!"

"Yeah. Couple times. And god. He knows things," I slur, gesturing vaguely. "Like, things no high school boy should know."

Emmett snorts. "That's because he ain't a high school boy."

Alice elbows him, shushing. "Let her talk."

I bite my lip, then start giggling. "Okay. His mouth. God. His mouth is a weapon."

Jessica squeals. "What do you mean weapon?"

I lean close to her ear, whispering loudly like it's a state secret. "I mean he can make me come just from his tongue. Over and over. Like I'm begging him to stop but I don't actually want him to."

Jessica's jaw drops, her face turning crimson. "No way."

"Yes way!" I cackle, collapsing against her shoulder. "He'll pin me down, all serious with that cowboy stare, and then just—" I make an exaggerated lick motion with my tongue, slow and lewd. Jessica bursts into shrieking laughter, slapping my leg.

Alice has both hands clamped over her mouth, her shoulders shaking. Emmett is howling, wheezing out, "Oh my god, Jazz is so screwed when I tell him this."

I sit up straighter, indignant. "No! Don't tell him! He doesn't deserve to know."

Alice smirks. "Then stop spilling all your dirty secrets in the back of a car."

But I'm too far gone. The wine and shots have loosened every boundary. "His fingers too," I babble. "Like—fuck—he'll curl them just right, and it's like he can read my mind. Sometimes he'll use his tongue and his fingers and I swear to god I see stars. I thought orgasms like that only happened in bad movies!"

Jessica's eyes are bugging out. "Wait wait wait—you mean, like... multiple?"

I cackle, raising three fingers. "Many. He doesn't stop until I can't breathe. My thighs literally shake. It's embarrassing."

Emmett slams the steering wheel, laughing so hard the Jeep swerves a little. "MANY?! Jesus, Jazz, you overachiever."

Alice is doubled over, wheezing. "This is the best car ride of my life."

Jessica covers her face, peeking through her fingers. "Laoise, you're insane. How are you just—just saying this?! In front of them?"

"Because it's true!" I yell, laughing too hard to care. "And because if I don't brag about it, I'll explode. Do you know how frustrating it is, walking around school, pretending everything's normal, when the last thing I did with him was—"

I pause for dramatic effect, leaning forward so my words come out in a drunken stage whisper. "He had me straddling him at Yorkie's party. His dick sitting at my entrance, ready to fuck me."

Jessica screams, covering her face. "NO. STOP. YOU DID NOT JUST—"

Alice kicks the dashboard, giggling uncontrollably.

"He's huge," I say proudly, slumping against Jessica. "I thought I was hallucinating the first time. You know those cucumbers you see in grocery stores and think, who even buys those? That. That's him."

Emmett can barely drive straight. "Holy shit, Jazz is never living this down. Wait till I tell Rose—"

"NO!" I shriek, lunging forward and smacking the back of his seat. "Don't you dare! This is girl talk only!"

Jessica is in hysterics, both hands flapping. "Girl talk?! You just told them he he's the size of a fucking huge cucumber!"

I groan, hiding my face in her shoulder, still laughing. "Fine. But also... his hands are huge. Huge. And when he wraps them around my waist—"

"OH MY GOD!" Jessica squeals, shoving me. "STOP STOP STOP!"

Alice's eyes are sparkling, delighted. "You're killing her, Laoise."

Emmett whistles low. "Cucumber, huh? Damn. Jazz really is a freaky bastard."

I laugh so hard tears streak down my face. "He doesn't even try to hide it! The cowboy is secretly a freak, and it's ruining me!"

Jessica slaps her thighs, gasping. "I will never look at him the same way again. Oh my god. Oh my god."

"Good," I mumble, curling into a giggly ball against her. "Because you don't know what it's like. He'll touch me once and I'm gone. Like my body belongs to him. And I hate it. But I also—" I hiccup—"fucking love it."

The Jeep explodes with laughter again. Alice wipes her eyes, still grinning like a cat. Emmett shakes his head, muttering, "Poor bastard has no idea what you're saying about him right now."

I sigh dramatically, pressing my forehead to the window, watching the blurry lights streak by. "He doesn't deserve me spilling his secrets. But god... if he knew how much I think about his hands when I can't sleep—"

Jessica shrieks again, burying her face in my lap. "I can't believe you're saying this!"

Alice twists back, her voice wicked. "Oh, honey, keep talking. This is better than TV."

Chapter 17: Perfect. Reckless. Fragile

JASPER

The night air smelled like rain and asphalt when the Jeep rolled up the Cullens’ drive. The sound of Emmett’s laugh echoes even before the headlights cut, and my chest seized like I’d been shot. I knew that laugh. It meant trouble.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs, fists in my pockets, shows drawing grooves into the wood floor. Every second dragged. When the engine finally shut off, I could hear Alice’s tinkling laugh, the skip of her steps across the porch.

The door swung wide. Emmett burst in, shaking the rain from his hair, face split with a grin too wide. Alice danced in behind him, sparkling with mischief.

“Well, cowboy,” Emmett boomed, “you should’ve been there. Funniest goddamn car ride of my life.”

I stiffened. “Where?”

“Picking up your girl,” he teased. “She and Jessica Stanley were drunk off their asses. Stumbled out of some little dive bar like they’d just invented alcohol.”

My stomach dropped. “Drunk?”

“Relax,” Alice says, slipping off her shoes. “She’s alive. She’s fine. She was hilarious.”

I bit down on the inside of my cheek. My family had seen me march into battlefields, had seen me drunk on bloodlust and half out of my mind, but I’d never felt humiliation crawl up my throat like this.

“What do you mean hilarious?”

Emmett’s laugh shook the walls. “She couldn’t stop talking about you. Loud as hell, spilling every damn detail. I haven’t laughed that hard ever.”

Heat spread my skin. “What details?”

Alice’s grin turned sharp, catlike. “Oh, Jasper. You really want us to repeat it? Because I’ll tell you, but you’ll never hold your head up again.”

Esme emerged from the sitting room, a book half-forgotten in her lap. Carlisle closed his too, glasses perched on the edge of his nose, curiosity and caution both threading his expression.

“She was drunk,” Alice continued, unable to stop herself. “Completely unfiltered. Said things about your mouth, your hands, the way you touch her…” She giggled. “I can’t even repeat some of it with Esme in the room.”

My throat locked.

Emmett slapped the doorframe, wheezing. “My favorite part? When she compared you to a cucumber. I almost crashed the Jeep.”

Carlisle cleared his throat, his eyes sharpening. “Enough.”

Esme gave Emmett a look of disapproval, but her lips twitched like she was fighting not to smile. “That poor girl,” she murmured. “She must be mortified if she remembers half of it.”

“She doesn’t,” Alice said smugly. “Trust me.”

I could barely breathe. My mind replayed every possibility: Laoise, drunk and loud, telling Jessica Stanley and my family that my mouth made her see stars, that my hands—God. It should’ve been shame. But instead a pulse of heat ran straight through me. Pride. Possession. The thought of her craving me enough to brag about it made my control flicker.

Carlisle’s voice cut clean through. “This is not amusing. If she is drinking to excess, that is concerning. And if she cannot hold her tongue, it puts us all at risk.”

“She didn’t say anything about us,” Alice assured him. “Just about Jasper. Over and over.”

Esme leaned forward, her expression softening. “Still. She’s young. Reckless. But Jasper…” She caught my eyes, hers steady and warm. “It’s obvious how much she adores you. Even through foolishness.”

Carlisle nodded slowly. “Yes. But it is reckless. Drinking, speaking without restraint. That could become dangerous.”

He paused, his gaze sharp. “And Jasper, you must decide what you want from this girl. You can’t demand her trust while keeping her at arm’s length. She is not one of us. She is vulnerable.”

The words cut deep.

Esme reached over, laying a hand atop Carlisle’s. “She could be perfect for him,” she whispered. “She makes him… lighter. I haven’t seen Jasper look this alive in decades.” Her smile softened. “But she does need guidance. A steady hand.”

Perfect. Reckless. Fragile.

I clenched my jaw, every instinct warring inside me. I wanted to march to her house, scoop her from whatever mess of sheets she’d tangled herself in, and keep her safe. I wanted to punish her for being reckless, for making me feel this raw. I wanted to taste her, to prove every word she’d spilled about me right.

But instead I stood there, silent, burning.

 

LAOISE

 

The pounding in my skull was the first thing I knew. The second was the sour-sweet taste of cheap wine crawling up my throat. The third—the one that made me groan into my pillow—was the memory.

The car ride.

Alice. Emmett. Jessica’s shrieks of laughter. My own voice, too loud, spilling secrets that weren’t mine to give.

“Oh god,” I whine, dragging myself upright.

Jessica groaned from across the room, hair a nest, mascara smudged like war paint. “Don’t talk. Head hurts.”

I flopped into her bed in my pajamas, oversized tee falling off my shoulder. “I think I ruined my life last night.”

She cracked one eye. “You mean when you told me your cowboy boyfriend has a cucumber dick? Or when you told Alice Cullen he makes you come so hard you see stars? Take your pick.”

I buried my face in the pillow, screaming into it. “Stop. Stop stop stop.”

Her laughter was weak but merciless. “Laoise, you were feral. I thought I was hallucinating. Like—full detail. Fingers, tongue, the whole package.”

“Jessica!”

“What?!” She grinned, holding her head. “You’ve been holding out. Everyone thinks you’re this mysterious hot girl, and here you are living porn with Jasper Cullen.”

Heat crawled up my neck. “We’re not—” My voice cracked. “We haven’t even had sex yet.”

That shut her up.

“What?”

I hugged my knees. “We’ve… done stuff. A lot of stuff. But not that. It’s… complicated.”

Her brows shot up. “Complicated how?”

I chewed my lip, my chest aching with everything I couldn’t say. “We made an agreement. Just physical. No strings.”

Jessica gawked. “Girl. Friends with benefits with Jasper Cullen? Do you even hear yourself? That’s like a rom-com waiting to happen.”

“It’s not funny,” I snapped. “We’re fighting. We haven’t spoken all week.”

She blinked. “But you like him.”

I pressed my forehead to my knees. “No! I can’t like him,” my throat ached. I couldn’t say bring up California. Or the fact that he’s a fucking vampire.“He kept something from me. And I don’t know if I can trust him anymore.”

Jessica was quiet, then nudged me. “Well. I don’t get it. But I’ve got your back. I won’t tell anyone.”

Relief loosened my chest for the first time in days.

That was when the door opened.

“Girls!”

Jessica’s mom swept in with a tray piled high—pancakes, bacon, orange juice. She set it on the bed like she’d walked into a slumber party instead of a crime scene.

“You two look like death this morning,” she chirped. “Hangovers need grease. Eat up.”

Jessica shrieked. “Mom!”

I nearly fell off the bed. “Wait—you knew we—”

Her mom winked. “I was a teenager once. Don’t act shocked. I know the smells of cheap drugstore wine.”

Jessica groaned, dragging the pillow over her face. I, however, grabbed bacon like it was a life line.

Her mom perched on the bed, sipping her coffee, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “So. Which one of you is hung up on a boy?”

Jessica made a strangled noise. I shoved pancake in my mouth to keep from blurting the truth.

But my thoughts betrayed me, circling the same image: the secrets I’d spilled too loudly into the night. If Alice and Emmett had really heard it all…

I was never going to survive this.

 

JASPER

 

All night, Esme’s words whispered through me—perfect for him, reckless, fragile. Carlisle’s warning sat heavier still. And Laoise herself lingered like a ghost. Her laugh, her moan, the desperate honesty in every filthy confession she hadn’t meant me to hear.

I was humiliated. And I was starving.

She thought about me that way. She bragged about me that way. She wanted me that way.

I should’ve been furious. Instead, I wanted to go to her, claim her, show her exactly how reckless I could be when it came to her body.

But dawn was breaking, and she was probably curled in Jessica Stanley’s bed, head pounding, body sore from drinking.

 

LAOISE

 

By the time the pancakes were gone, my stomach had stopped trying to kill me. Jessica’s mom finally left us in peace, humming to herself like she hadn’t just witnessed the world’s most incriminating hangover.

Jessica flopped back. “You’re in deep, Laoise.”

I closed my eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

But even as I tried to bury it, Jasper’s ghost pressed against me—his mouth, his hands, his secrets.

Chapter 18: No more halfway

JASPER

The engine ticked in the cool September night, a slow metallic heartbeat beneath the hood. I’d parked far enough from her house to keep the neighbors from asking questions, but close enough to see the flicker of her porch light each time it snapped on.

God she must think I’m crazy when she sees me.

I shouldn’t have been here. Carlisle’s warning cut through my head like a knife: You cannot keep her at arm’s length and demand her trust. She is not one of us. She is vulnerable.

Esme’s words clung too, softer but heavier somehow: She makes you lighter. She could be perfect for you.

And Alice—her laughter when she’d described the drunk confessions Laoise had spilled in the Jeep with Emmett.

Your mouth, your hands, the way you touch her. Said it all, Jasper.

Every word Laoise had said, even drunk, had set me burning. Shame and pride, twisted together so tight I could barely breathe.

And I made my decision. I know what I want.

I told myself I was here to fix things, to be honest with her. To stop dancing around the edges of something too big to ignore. But really, I was here because I couldn’t stay away.

The door opened.

She stumbled out, trash bag slung in one hand, hoodie too big, bare legs catching the porch light. Sneakers untied. Her hair was a mess, falling into her face. My chest clenched at the sight of her. Small, stubborn, alive.

Then she saw me.

Her head snapped up, and fury lit her eyes so fast it nearly staggered me. She dropped the bag with a thud and stormed toward the car.

The passenger door wrenched open, hinges protesting, and before I could speak, she slid in, slamming it behind her.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Her voice was furious, but I could feel the pulse of something underneath. Not just anger. Fear. Hurt.

I didn’t answer. I turned the key, let the engine growl awake, and pulled onto the road.

Her hands clenched the sleeves of her hoodie. “Jasper, I swear to God what are you doing!?”

“The beach.”

“Why? That’s fucking creepy. Are you going to drown me?”

I hold out my laugh.

“Because I can’t do this halfway anymore. And no Laoise, I’m not drowning you.”

She barked out a humorless laugh. “Halfway? What the hell do you think we’ve been doing? We’re not even together, Jasper. We agreed—just physical. No strings.”

Her words cut, but I kept my voice level. “And do you believe that?”

She flinched, eyes darting away. Her eyes tell me how dare you ask that question.

The silence stretched between us until the trees thinned and the salt hit the air. The waves roared before we saw them, black water smashing against darker rock. I pulled off onto the sand, killed the engine, and let the silence take us whole.

She crossed her arms tight over her chest. “Say it. Whatever speech you dragged me out here for. Then take me home. I have toaster strudel waiting for me.”

I stared at the horizon, at the endless black water. Then I said it:

“I’ve killed more people than you’ve met in your lifetime.”

Her breath sucked in sharp.

I pressed on before I could lose the nerve. “You want the truth? Here it is. I was turned in the middle of the Civil War year 1863. I’d been a soldier since I was seventeen. And when Maria found me—she made me into a monster.”

Her fists unclenched slightly, hoodie fabric soft against her palms.

“I led armies of newborn vampires. I trained them, used them, slaughtered them when they weren’t useful anymore. I was her weapon. Efficient. Deadly. I lost count of how many I killed.” My voice cracked, thick with venom and memory. “I was drenched in blood for decades. And when I finally left, I didn’t leave because I grew a conscience. I left because I couldn’t stand the weight anymore.”

Her eyes glistened in the dim moonlight.

“I found Carlisle. He showed me another way. Esme gave me gentleness when I didn’t deserve it..” I paused, swallowing hard. “They gave me a reason to try. They saw me, even when I couldn’t. And I’ve been trying, every damn day, to be less of a monster.”

The ocean thundered against the shore.

Finally, I turned to her. “That’s who you’ve been letting touch you in the dark. Not some mysterious cowboy with good manners. A murderer. A man with blood on his hands so deep it never washes clean.”

Her lips parted, but no sound came out.

I forced the last words out, low and breaking. “And still, I want you. Not just your body. Not just your fire. All of you. Even the pieces you think no one could ever want. I want them too.”

 

LAOISE

 

My whole chest felt cracked open.

I’d gone into his car ready to tear him apart. Ready to scream, to tell him he had no right to yank me into his world when he’d hidden so much.

But now—

Now he sat beside me, shoulders stiff, jaw tight, eyes burning with something more than guilt. Shame, yes.

His words rattled in my ribs like stones: I was drenched in blood. I lost count of how many I killed.

I should have run. Every instinct screamed danger.

It wasn’t the same as before. He. My ex. He never admitted anything. Never apologized. Never gave me the choice. He took, and took, and left me hollow.

But Jasper… he’d just stripped himself bare. Told me the ugliest truth, like he wanted me to see it all before I could choose.

And damn him—I wanted him even more for it.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” I whispered, throat tight.

His voice broke. “Then let me prove it. Let me earn it.”

My chest ached.

“You’re not a monster,” I said before I could stop myself.

He flinched like I’d struck him.

“You think I don’t know monsters?” My voice rose, shaky but fierce. “I do. And they don’t sit in cars at midnight telling the truth. They don’t give you choices. They don’t wait.”

The silence roared as loud as the ocean.

He stared at me like I’d just cut the ropes from around his throat.

I looked away, hugging my knees to my chest. “I need time.”

He nodded once, sharp, like it gutted him but he’d take it.

And I felt it then—his yearning, his restraint, the storm he was holding back just for me.

I hated him for making me feel safe.

I hated him for making me want him anyway.

But most of all—I hated how much hope crawled into my chest, even when I tried to shove it out.

 

JASPER

 

Her words lit something in me I thought I’d lost decades ago.

You’re not a monster.

God help me, I believed her.

The night stretched long, the tide inching higher, the stars fading one by one. We didn’t kiss. We didn’t touch.

But we sat there, every nerve alive, so silent and hard it felt like my bones might split.

And for the first time since Maria, since the wars, since blood drowned me—I wanted to live.

Not for Carlisle. Not for Alice.

For her.

Chapter 19: Yearning and earning

JASPER

 

I drop Laoise home and head straight to home.

The living room is thick with silence when I arrive.

Not human silence but the Cullen kind. The kind where everyone's pretending to read or watch the fire, but their ears are pricked to my every restless step. My shoes scuff different patterns into the wood. Back and forth. Back and forth.

I can feel Alice smiling before I see it. She's perched cross-legged on the couch, cheek in her palm, like she's watching her favorite rerun.

Esme sits nearby, book forgotten on her lap. Carlisle marks his page with care but doesn't close it. Emmett sprawls in a chair too small for him, grin sharp and waiting. Rosalie flicks her hair, already annoyed. Edward is the stillest of us all. I feel his attention sharpen every time I turn.

I stop pacing. My throat feels like barbed wire. "I'm going to try making Laoise mine."

Alice's smirk widens. Emmett barks a laugh. Rosalie rolls her eyes.

Carlisle only exhales. "Jasper—"

"No. I need to say this. I told her the truth. The blood. The war. Maria. Everything. She didn't run. She said she needs time, but I don't know if that means she wants space or if she's waiting for me to prove myself. Either way, I'm not backing down. I'm going to gain her trust."

Emmett claps his knee, delighted. "Finally. Jazz is whipped."

"I'm not—" The word sticks. I grind it down. "This isn't some game, Emmett. I've lived too long keeping people at an arms lenght. She deserves better than halfway."

Rosalie's laugh is sharp. "She deserves better than you at all."

The exhausted groan rips out of me before I can leash it.

Esme lays her hand over Rosalie's arm. Calm. Steady. "Rosalie."

Rosalie doesn't flinch. "I'm only saying what we're all thinking. She's human. He's a soldier who used to rip throats out for fun."

Edward finally turns from the window, eyes flicking between us. "You're wrong." His voice is quiet, but the words hit sharp. "She isn't afraid the way you think. She's furious, yes. Guarded. But not afraid."

Rosalie lifts her chin. "Yet."

Alice's laughter cuts through the tension, bright as glass. "Rosalie, stop. You're wasting breath. Jasper's going to do it anyway."

My chest tightens. "Alice—"

She waves me off. "Don't bother protesting. You'll pick her up tomorrow morning. She will like you doing these things for her."

Emmett hoots. "Forks High isn't ready."

Esme's voice cuts gentle but firm. "Jasper. If this is what you want, you must do it carefully. With patience. With steadiness. She is young, she is hurt, and she has lived through things you don't yet know. Be the anchor she doesn't expect."

Carlisle nods, grave. "Esme is right. She may be perfect for you, but she is not invulnerable. If you move too fast, too hard, you'll break her trust instead of earning it."

Edward mutters low. "Or you'll show the whole school exactly what we are if you lose control."

"Like how you did stopping Tyler Crowley from smushing Bella with his truck?"

The silence after that is sharp.

I breathe in, slow, steady, though my lungs don't need it. "No, I won't lose control."

Alice beams, singsong. "He won't. I haven't seen it."

Rosalie scoffs. Emmett roars. Carlisle rubs his temple. Esme smiles, soft as forgiveness. Edward just shakes his head.

 

LAOISE

 

It's monday morning. I woke up more relaxed than I knew to expect.

Jessica's mascara wand clatters to the sink as she screams. She's staring out of the window eyes wide.

I follow her line of sight through the bathroom window and my stomach drops.

Black car. Lean body. Cowboy leaning like he's posing for the cover of GQ. Jasper Cullen in all his golden, infuriating glory.

"Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit." Jessica grabs my shoulders, shaking me like I might vanish. "He's outside. He's waiting for you."

I shove her off. "He's insane."

"You're insane if you don't go out there."

I look at myself in the mirror. Bootcut jeans, loose of the shoulder sweater and a pair of ugg's. Lip gloss shimmering. Hair straightened.

I step outside. He straightens, opens the passenger side door like it's already decided.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

His voice is steady, low. "Driving you."

I cross my arms. "No, you're not."

"Get in, Laoise."

The way he says it—firm, not begging—makes Jessica squeal behind me.

I stomp forward, throw myself into the seat, slam the door. "You're insane."

"Maybe."

"You can't just show up like this."

"I can." He shifts the gear. "And I will."

The drive is molten silence. I cross my legs, looking out of the window. His knuckles flex on the steering wheel.

Forks High erupts when we pull in. Heads turn. Mike Newton's jaw hits the pavement. Tyler Crowley goes red. Bella stares, wide-eyed, until Edward gently pushes her forward.

Jasper gets out, rounds the car, opens my door. The grabs our bags from the backseat, throwing them over his shoulders.

I take mine just to spite him. Walk across the lot like I own it.

 

By lunch time I find my designated seat at the table with Angela and Jessica.

The cafeteria feels like a zoo.

Every head swivels the second Jasper pushes open the door. He doesn't hesitate. Doesn't glance at the Cullen table in their usual corner throne. He just walks—straight across the room, straight to me, like there aren't a hundred eyes burning holes in his back.

Jessica is halfway through a fry when she chokes. "He's—oh my God—he's coming here."

I want to sink into the floor. Or explode. Or both.

He doesn't ask. He just pulls out the chair next to me, sits, and sets his tray down.

Jessica whispers, "You're dead. You're literally dead."

Mike Newton sulks from two tables away. Tyler Crowley leans back in his chair, smirking like he's got a shot.

I cross my arms. "What are you doing?"

"Eating lunch."

"You don't eat." I whisper so quiet, only he hears me.

His lips twitch. "I'm eating your company."

Jessica squeals. My face burns.

"Stop staring at me like that," I hiss.

He leans back, eyes on me and no one else. "Like what?"

"Like I'm—" My voice cuts. I can't say it. Not in front of Jessica, who looks one second away from fainting.

"Like you're the only one in this room worth seeing?" His voice is low, only for me.

My chest squeezes. I stab my fork into my salad so hard the lettuce jumps.

Emmett saunters over, grin wide. "Damn, Jasper. You're really doing this, huh? No hiding, no brooding. Just claiming your girl in front of the whole school."

"Shut up, Emmett," I mutter.

But Jasper doesn't look away from me. Not once.

He just smiles wide, like only me sitting next to him is all he needs.

"You're really not going to let me be?" I smirk at him, secretly enjoying this attention.

"No way. You know I got to prove myself to you."

He leans closer to only I can hear the next thing he's going to say. "I'm going to make you mine."

I almost choke on my throughly chewed lettuce, and push him gently away from me.
"Don't just say things like that to me."

He gives me the most handsome smile ever.

 

Tuesday rolls by. Jasper picking me up to school. Bringing me an apple, or an orange juice at lunch. Carrying my books to my classes. Driving me back home.

By Wednesday, I'm already used to it.

I hate gym. But today it's football. Forks High tradition: boys go feral, girls roll their eyes.

Two captains picking their teams. Tyler Crowley, all smug grin, and Jasper, calm as if this isn't about to turn into a blood feud.

Tyler gets first pick. His eyes lock on me immediately. "Laoise."

The whistle of surprise in the class cuts sharp.

I laugh, shaking my head. "What? No. Pick someone else."

"You heard me," Tyler smirks. "You're on my team."

I glance at Jasper. His jaw is stone.

"No." His voice is flat, lethal. "She's on mine."

Tyler grins wider. "Not how it works, Cullen. First pick's mine. You can't just call dibs."

Jasper takes one step forward, slow. "Pick someone else."

The class holds its breath. Even Coach looks spooked.

Tyler crosses his arms. "What's wrong? Afraid I'll show you up if she's on my side?"

"I'll trade," Jasper says, voice calm but razor-edged. "Take Edward."

Edward, from the sidelines, mutters, "Of course."

Tyler looks like Christmas came early. "Deal."

The class erupts. Half cheering, half whispering.

I stalk over, shorts riding up my thighs, long-sleeve shirt sticking to my skin. His eyes flick down once before snapping back to the field.

"You look insane right now."

He doesn't smile. Doesn't break. Just leans close enough that I feel his breath against my ear.

"I don't care if I look insane. I just want you."

Heat floods me. I shove him back lightly. "Then win."

 

From kickoff, it's chaos. Forks kids aren't athletes. They're gossip machines with sneakers. But Jasper? He moves like he was born for this. Calculated, lethal precision, even in gym class.

And me? I thrive in the chaos.

"Run left!" he shouts.

I dart right just to spite him, flag whipping past Tyler's grab, and burst downfield.

"Laoise!" Jasper's voice is sharp.

I spin, catch the ball midair, grin wickedly, and take off.

Touchdown.

The bleachers explode with laughter and cheers.

I jog back, tossing the ball into his chest. "You're welcome, Captain."

He narrows his eyes. "You don't follow orders well."

"Good thing I'm not your soldier." I smirk.

The next play, he blocks Tyler with terrifying ease, his hand brushing the small of my back as I slip past. Heat bolts through me.

"Focus," he murmurs, low enough only I hear.

"Oh, I am."

The game spirals. Every move between us is a tease, a spark. He steadies me when I nearly trip. I fake left just to make him curse under his breath. He cheers my name when I score again, and my grin widens.

When the final whistle blows, our team wins.

He offers his hand. I take it, breathless, sweat-slick, refusing to look away.

And in that moment, the whole damn school knows something's happening—whether we admit it or not.

Chapter 20: Teenage dirtbag

JASPER

 

The morning air clings heavy on the windshield, Forks mist settling in. I park in front of Jessica's house, fingers tapping against the leather wheel. Not out of nerves—those I can smother—but anticipation.

Her door opens. Shoes hit the steps. Then she appears.

Laoise.

Jeans on with a long sleeved, which's neckline is pushing it, a warm leather jacket, and the kind of walk that doesn't ask for attention but devours it anyway.

I open her door before she reaches the car. She doesn't thank me. Just raises a brow like I'm ridiculous, tosses her bag inside, and slides in. The car fills with her scent—sharp sweetness, layered with the faintest trace of cherries.

We drive in silence until the pines thin. I let the tension coil, then cut it clean.

"Go out with me."

Her head snaps, hair whipping. "Excuse me?"

"Tonight. A date." My voice doesn't waver.

She laughs, low and incredulous. "You just drop that in like we're talking about the weather?"

"Yes."

"God, you're serious." She studies me, lips twitching. "You're actually asking me out."

"I don't ask unless I mean it. Actually I've never asked anyone before."

She leans back, boots on the dash, testing me. "What makes you think I'd say yes?"

"Because you want to." I glance at her. "Even if you won't admit it yet."

Her mouth opens, then closes. She looks out the window, hiding the flush that colors her cheeks.

Finally—quiet, grudging—"Fine. But if you're boring, I'm ghosting you halfway through."

"Fair." My chest loosens. "You won't."

She mutters something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like cocky bastard.

 

LAOISE

 

Forks High has adjusted.

By now, everyone's used to the spectacle of Jasper Cullen waiting by my locker, or shadowing me across the parking lot, or sliding into my seat like he owns the air I breathe. The stares have dulled from shock to fascination.

And I... I'm pretending I don't like it.

We walk into the cafeteria together. My shoes dragging the floor, his stride steady beside me. Instead of peeling off toward the Cullen throne table, he angles me straight there. Like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Edward's already watching us, unreadable, Bella at her side. Alice bounces in her seat like she's been waiting centuries. Emmett grins, arms folded. And Rosalie looks like her usual annoyed self.

I slide into the seat Jasper pulls out for me. "You know this makes it look official, right?"

"That's the point," he says simply, settling beside me.

I roll my eyes, stab at my salad. "You're insane."

Alice sighs dreamily. "You two are adorable."

"Don't start," I warn.

Emmett leans across the table, smirking. "So, Lao, how's Jazz doing on the whole boyfriend tryout?"

I glare. Jasper doesn't blink. "Passing so far. Let's give it a one more week."

That earns a sharp laugh from Rosalie. But it isn't cruel—more like she's surprised at herself for finding me funny. "You've got bite," she says, eyes glinting.

"Better than rolling over," I shoot back.

For a second, something like respect flickers across her face. Then she looks away, sipping her soda.

Jasper squeezes my knee under the table, subtle. I fight a smile.

 

JASPER

 

The afternoon drags, then dissolves. Classes, hallways, the weight of stares that no longer matter. By the time the final bell rings, I'm already picturing her looking beautiful tonight.

I drop her home. She slams the door without goodbye, but she lingers in the driveway long enough for me to catch the faintest pulse of excitement vibrating under her sarcasm.

Later, when I return, she's transformed.

Light pink dress, hem brushing mid-thigh. Brown heeled leather boots that click sharp against the pavement. She has pulled on her leather jacket. Her hair catches the porch light. Every movement she makes is a blade aimed at my composure.

"Wow," slips out before I can catch it.

She smirks. "Pick your jaw up, cowboy. We've got a date to survive."

 

LAOISE

 

The pub smells like smoke and cheap whiskey, dim lights buzzing overhead. Forks' version of nightlife. We claim a billiards table in the back, cues clacking, Jasper already setting up.

I bend to break. The hem of my dress flirts with gravity. I know he notices—I can feel the weight of his stare like a brand.

"Eyes up here," I tease, straightening.

His hand snakes around my waist, firm but gentle. "They're not the only ones looking."

I glance around. He's right. Men at the bar, men at nearby tables—every pair of eyes has found me.

And Jasper? Jasper's hand tightens, sliding lower.

Possessive. Protective. And for the first time, I don't hate it.

I lean into him just to test the waters, hips brushing his. His jaw clenches.

 

The game spirals. I bend; the dress lifts scandalously. His hand finds my thigh. I tease; he growls low enough that only I hear. It's a dance, this game. Not billiards—us.

I win the first game with flying colors, maybe because Jasper can't concentrate on anything else but my ass in this dress.

"You need to seriously try now, Jasper."
I say patting his arm, feeling his bicep flex under my touch. And god. I'm a sucker for some good biceps.

"Warm up while I get myself something to drink."

I go to order a coke at the bar, needing a break from the static buzzing between us.

That's when he appears. A man, maybe in his fifties. His belly hanging low, possibly from all the beer he has drank at this pub. God I can smell the alcohol.

Rough face. Drunk eyes. Leaning too close.

"I saw you playing back there. You were a real talent. Has your dad taught you?"
He asks trying to create casual conversation.

"No, just learned by playing with friends."
I answer, finally get my coke and get ready to leave.

"Is that your boyfriend?" He gestures towards Jasper who is now practicing his shot at your table, looking like a greek god.

"Yes," I answer before I'm quickly interrupted.

"How about I bring you to the back of this pub and show you how a real man acts?"

Disgust curls hot in my stomach. Before I even think, the coke is airborne—ice and soda splashing down his shirt.

The pub goes silent.

And then Jasper is there.

 

JASPER

 

I see the coke fly. See her stance, furious and defiant. And I move.

One second across the room, the next at her side. My presence swallows the man whole.

He stumbles back, eyes wide, muttering.

I don't touch him. Don't need to. The weight of my stare is enough.

My hand finds Laoise's arm, grounding. "We're leaving."

Her chest heaves, but she nods, chin high. Not a victim. Never.

I guide her out, my palm warm at her back. She doesn't shake me off this time.

 

LAOISE

 

The night air cuts cool against my skin as we step out of the pub, Jasper's hand still firm on my back. He doesn't let go until we reach the car.

"Are you going to scold me?" I ask, voice sharp, daring.

His golden eyes flick to mine, darkened by the shadows. "For what? Throwing a drink at a man who deserved worse?"

I blink. That's... not what I expected. "So you're not about to give me the be careful, Laoise speech?"

He opens the door for me, that infuriatingly calm expression fixed in place. "You don't need a speech. You need someone to stand with you."

The words stick in my chest. I cover it with a smirk, sliding into the seat. "Careful, Cullen. You almost sound human."

His mouth curves, faint but real, before he rounds the hood and slips into the driver's side.

We drive. The hum of the engine fills the silence. My adrenaline finally begins to settle, replaced by a jittery energy that won't quit.

I scroll through his ancient radio and nearly choke when Teenage Dirtbag comes on.

"Oh, my God." I grin wide, turning the volume up obnoxiously. "You know this song?"

He side-eyes me like I've lost my mind. "I've... heard it."

"Not good enough." I point at him. "Sing."

His laugh is low, disbelieving. "No."

"Yes. Absolutely yes. This is a rite of passage. Sing, Jasper."

He shakes his head, but the corner of his mouth betrays him. "You'll regret asking."

"I regret nothing. Come on, I'll do the girl part."

The chorus hits. I belt it out, shameless, voice cracking but full of energy. I nudge him with my boot until finally—finally—he mutters the lyrics under his breath.

"Her name is Laoise, I have dream about her She rings my bell, I got gym class in half an hour." I crack at his lyric change.

"Louder!" I shout over the music.

And to my absolute shock, he does.

Deep, rough, completely off-beat. Jasper Whitlock Cullen, Civil War relic, vampire soldier, is singing Teenage Dirtbag in his Volvo at full volume.

"Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby."

"Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby."

"Listen to Iron Maiden, baby, with me, ooh."

I laugh so hard I double over, tears streaking my cheeks. He glances at me, eyes blazing with something I've never seen before—warmth.

By the final chorus, we're both shouting, the windows rattling, the night outside carrying our voices into the trees.

Chapter 21: Vampire boy, who’s crazy over me

LAOISE

 

The laughter still clings to my ribs when Jasper pulls into my driveway. Teenage Dirtbag is still ringing in my ears, his low voice tangled with mine. The car slows, stopping into park, and the silence between us feels suddenly heavy in the aftermath.

I glance at him, his profile half-shadowed by the porch light. His jawline is ridiculous. He's calm as ever, but there's a softness at the edge of his mouth, the faintest curl of amusement.

"Well," I say, unbuckling. "Congratulations. You've officially ruined Wheatus for me."

His golden eyes flick toward me, amusement warming their depth. "You begged me to sing."

"I didn't think you'd actually do it."

"You underestimate me."

"I think I overestimated your dignity."

That earns me a quiet laugh, a real one, unguarded. My stomach does a traitorous flip.

Before I can come up with something clever, my phone buzzes in my jacket pocket. A text from Jessica's mom.

Sweetheart, just a heads up — me and my husband are gone for the weekend, business trip. Dinner's in the fridge for you. Jess is at Angela's tonight. Eat up<3

I read it twice, the words blooming possibilities in my head. Empty house. Just me. Just me and the vampire boy currently watching me like I'm the most fascinating thing in Forks.

My thumbs hover, then I shove the phone back into my pocket and blurt before I can overthink: "Do you want to come in?"

Jasper stills, like a deer caught in the headlights. He studies me, searching, weighing. "Laoise—"

"It's not—" I wave a hand. "I mean, just to hang out. I have food. You can... pretend to eat, or... I don't know. Sit there and look pretty while I do."

His mouth twitches. "You're inviting me in."

"Yes." My pulse skips. "Unless you're scared."

That gets me a smirk, slow and devastating. He kills the engine. "Lead the way."

 

The kitchen light flicks on, yellow and warm. It feels too domestic, Jasper standing there like he belongs, all stoic and broad in that leather jacket.

I open the fridge, scanning. There it is: a glass dish, clingfilm stretched tight, Jessica's mom's neat handwriting on a sticky note—chicken casserole, heat before eating.

I set it on the counter and glance back at him. "Do you ever wish you'd eat again?"

One brow arches. "Have you tasted blood?" He smirks.

"Right." I chuckle, shaking my head. "It must be way better than anything else." I say sarcastically.

I dish myself a portion, shove it in the microwave. The hum fills the silence. He leans against the counter like a sentinel, arms folded. His eyes track me, and I feel it everywhere, like a second skin.

"So what's it like," I ask, "watching someone shove food in their face when you can't?"

"Interesting." His voice is low, rough velvet. "You don't realize how much people give away when they eat."

I pause, fork halfway to my mouth. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"The way you hold your fork. How fast you eat. Whether you savor it or not. It says something about who you are."

I take a slow bite, exaggerated. "And what does this say about me?"

His eyes darken, fixed on my mouth. "That you know exactly what you're doing."

I bite down on my fork.

"And that you know things to do with that mouth of yours."

Heat curls through me. I drop my fork a little too loud. "I'm gonna shower. You gonna stick around?"

His lips twitch. "Yes."

I grab a towel from upstairs, toss him a look over my shoulder before I disappear into the bathroom.

 

JASPER

 

I sneak up the her before dropping down on her bed. I lean back on my arms my legs now wide as I lay back on her bed.

The shower stops. Silence. Then footsteps.

When she appears at her bedroom door, I forget how to breathe.

Laoise, skin flushed pink from the heat, damp hair dripping onto her shoulders. A towel knotted at her chest, barely covering her thighs. She moves slow, deliberate, like every step is a dare.

"You already know what I look like under this towel, cowboy." Her grin is pure sin.

My jaw tightens. My hands curl into fists. I force myself not to look—fail instantly.

"Laoise," I grind out. "Don't."

“I think I will." She pads closer, water still clinging to her calves. When she stops in front of me, she tips her head, studying me like I'm prey instead of predator. "You're fighting yourself so hard. It's adorable."

I clench my teeth. "You're playing with fire."

“No, I’m playing with the vampire boy, who’s crazy over me.”

She drops onto my lap without warning. The towel rides up, bare thighs sliding against my jeans. My entire body locks. Her weight, her heat burning me.

"Jesus, Laoise—"

"Not quite." She leans in, lips brushing my ear. "But you still have my panties. Remember?"

A low growl rips from my chest before I can stop it. My hands land on her hips, gripping too tight. She laughs, wicked and breathless.

"You're so easy to wind up." She shifts, hips rolling the slightest bit.

"Don't," I snap, voice breaking.

"Why not?" Her eyes glint, daring. "Scared you'll lose control?"

I tip my head back, every muscle straining. Her towel slips at the edge, a dangerous inch from disaster.

"You don't understand," I rasp. "If I start..."

She presses a finger to my lips. "Then maybe I want you to start."

My control shatters. For a second—one dangerous second—I drag her closer, forehead pressed to hers, breath mingling. Her laughter dies, replaced by something hotter, needier.

Her mouth hovers closer to mine.

And then—I stop.

Barely.

I shove her gently off my lap, standing so fast the couch jolts. My voice is raw. "I'm doing this properly now Laoise. You deserve better than first date."

She smirks, smug even as her chest heaves. "Coward."

She tosses her towel on the bed like it's nothing, rummaging in a drawer for pajamas. My eyes burn trying not to look, but she laughs, catching me anyway.

 

LAOISE

 

Changed into my pink pjs I brush past him as I head downstairs, skin still warm from the shower. He's stone-still in my doorway, hands clenched like he's fighting himself. God, it's intoxicating.

We end up on the couch, TV flickering. I flip until I land on something brainless, some chick flick.

I curl up, bowl of popcorn in my lap. He sits rigid beside me, like even the cushions can't handle the weight of him.

"You gonna sit like a statue all night?" I tease, popping a kernel into my mouth.

His jaw ticks. "I'm... keeping boundaries."

I snort. "Coward."

But I edge closer anyway. My shoulder brushes his arm. My thigh presses against his. He doesn't move.

I push my limits snuggling closer to him until my leg is draped across his legs and his arm around me.

Minutes pass. The warmth of him seeps into me, steady, grounding. My eyelids droop despite myself.

The last thing I remember is the rumble of his chest under my cheek, the faint scent of leather and smoke.

 

JASPER

 

She's asleep before the credits roll, breath soft against my side.

I should move. I should leave.

Instead, I sit there a long time, memorizing every line of her face at rest, the way her lips part, the stray lock of hair on her cheek.

When her head tilts, I act. Gently, carefully, I scoop her up. She stirs once, murmuring, then settles against me like she belongs there.

Her room is dim. I lay her on the bed, pull the blanket over her. For a moment I let my hand hover over her cheek, aching to touch.

Then I step back.

At the door, I pause. Her voice drifts half-asleep, barely audible.

"Night, cowboy."

It hits me harder than it should.

I leave before I can betray myself.