Work Text:
WhatsApp Group: Weird Queeroes™
MICKOLAS
LINCOLN
RORY
Ronnie: oh oh
Ronnie: full name
Cisco 🖖🏽: you’re screwed
Mick 🥵: aint my name
WHATEVER
IT IS
Mick 🥵: litrally michael
Linda: sure thing mickothy
Cisco 🖖🏽: mickotheus
Ronnie: mickamin
Hartley 🤓: mickroplastic
Cisco 🖖🏽: u ruined it babe
WHATEVER
YOUR NAME
MAY BE
Bar 💖💗💓: why are you
shouting at mick
THIS IS WHY
YOURE MY FAVE
Iris ❤️: …
Iris ❤️: u know what?
Iris ❤️: fair
Snart: fuck off
Oliver 😳: focus
MICK WHY
ARE YOU
TRAINING
MY PARENTS
Linda: mick is WHAT
Cisco 🖖🏽: LMAO?????
Ronnie: omg
Iris ❤️: wait WHAT
Mick 🥵: im wat
training
my parents
Mick 🥵: am i
THEY TOLD ME
Mick 🥵: ?????
Oliver 😳: pls im laughing
Bar 💖💗💓: that’s such a
classic for this group actually
Snart: mick why can’t I ever
leave you alone
Mick 🥵: fuck you
Snart: no thanks
Linda: why is mick training
Eddie’s parents???
Linda: and doesn’t even
know???
Ronnie: and what sports do
Eddie’s parents do???
Hartley 🤓: I’d have imagined
yoga
fucking boxing
apparently
Cisco 🖖🏽: lmao WHAT
Cisco 🖖🏽: THE HIPPIES?
Mick 🥵: hell idk who I train
Mick 🥵: Ava does names
Sara 🤝🏻: fuck no she doesn’t
Sara 🤝🏻: are you telling me
I could’ve met mommy and
daddy thawne this entire
time ???
ew don’t call
them that
Iris ❤️: Eddie babe you
KNOW your parents fuck
wait
MICK DONT
FUCK MY DAD
Oliver 😳: your dad is into
men ???
NOT THAT I
KNOW OF
BUT MICK HAS
THE POWER
Ronnie: I love how you think
your straight dad would fuck
mick before your mom does
my dad is weaker
than my mom
Hartley 🤓: true lol
Cisco 🖖🏽: mick I dare you to
have a threesome with
Eddie’s parents
NO
Oliver 😳: he’s had sex with
you, let him do the whole
family
Bar 💖💗💓: the return of the
incest kink
ET TU BAR ?
Linda: never forget the incest
kink
Sara 🤝🏻: long live the incest
kink
I hate you all
Iris ❤️: 🥺
Hartley 🤓: 🥺
Cisco 🖖🏽: 🥺
Bar 💖💗💓: 🥺
Sara 🤝🏻: 🥺
ALL OF YOU
Oliver 😳: now you know
how I’ve felt for years
you’re famous,
you can deal
Oliver 😳: my friends are
supposed to be my escape
Linda: go cry in Tommy‘s
arms
Oliver 😳: [image attached]
Oliver 😳: they’re full
Bar 💖💗💓: AW HI MIA
Sara 🤝🏻: MIA
Cisco 🖖🏽: BABY
Ronnie: Baby Olicity!!!!
Iris ❤️: neither been so
jealous of Tommy Merlyn
before fr
hello???
I’m having
a crisis
Hartley 🤓: Mick is gonna
fuck your parents,
get over it
Linda: Meloni and Robern
deserve it 🙂↕️
Mick 🥵: [image attached]
Mick 🥵: huh
HUH?
that’s all
you’re
saying???
Mick 🥵: well I didnt kno
Sara 🤝🏻: damn you’d think
Mona would recognize the
name
Snart: why? Not like we
ever let her into our club
Ronnie: hey she was at
meetings!
Oliver 😳: she was at two.
Cisco 🖖🏽: let’s face it guys,
we’re furryphobic
Linda: damn and furries are
the backbone of society
Bar 💖💗💓: we’re
problematic 😔
how is this
my life
Hartley 🤓: everything is
connected, we shouldn’t
be surprised
Sara 🤝🏻: plus mick‘s gym
is the cool new hip thing in
keystone, ofc your hipster
parents would check it out
Iris ❤️: no they’re HIPPIES
not HIPSTERS
they’re neither!!!
they’re just very
open-minded!
Cisco 🖖🏽: something else
will be open soon
NO
MICK DONT FUCK
MY PARENTS
Mick 🥵: no I gotta
Linda: he’s right, he needs
to do it now
Snart: it’s law
I never should’ve
asked any questions
in the first place
Caitlin: oh I have a
question!
is it gonna distract
from my misery
Caitlin: eh
Hartley 🤓: oh now I wanna
hear it
Caitlin: have you three
entered a poly relationship
without telling any of us
Sara 🤝🏻: what
Iris ❤️: who ??
Ronnie: POLY?
Caitlin: Eddie, Hartley
and Cisco
Bar 💖💗💓: WHAT
Cisco 🖖🏽: ????
what the
this is the worst
day of my life
Hartley 🤓: why the fuck
would you think that
Caitlin: idk you seem so
familiar with his parents
Cisco 🖖🏽: Cait. Look at me.
We’re not dating Eddie
Iris ❤️: else I’d have like
to be informed
Bar 💖💗💓: us all
Hartley 🤓: we’re familiar
with Eddie’s parents bc
they refuse to book a
hotel when they visit
Cisco 🖖🏽: yeah they say
the vibes are off
Sara 🤝🏻: hippies
Cisco 🖖🏽: exactly
Caitlin: but I guess you all
had sex ???
Cisco 🖖🏽: ofc
Cisco 🖖🏽: we‘re three
horny dudes living together
do the math
Hartley 🤓: yeah but it’s just
sex
Hartley 🤓: like. no thanks
Hartley 🤓: Eddie is a hot
mess, I pass
I AM A
HOT MESS?
Cisco 🖖🏽: you’re dating your
partner‘s daughter, that’s
kinda whack
Sara 🤝🏻: SCREAMS
Linda: fuck im laughing so
much
Iris ❤️: no don’t give him
that worry again
Bar 💖💗💓: seriously he
JUST got over it
Ronnie: they’ve been
dating for more than
five years ??????
Oliver 😳: okay now don’t
make us feel old
Snart: you’re literally a parent
Oliver 😳: i‘m younger than
you
Mick 🥵: im older n hotter
Caitlin: than Snart?
Mick 🥵: and queen
Oliver 😳: 🫨 take that back
Sara 🤝🏻: please his
narcissism is all he has left
Mick 🥵: ill fuck the cops
parents, queen wont
Oliver 😳: i don’t want to
fuck Eddie’s parents?
this is why
you’re the only
one I trust
Bar 💖💗💓: hey!
Linda: there’s only one
solution
Linda: mick and Oliver both
have to try to seduce Eddie’s
parents
Cisco 🖖🏽: real you gotta trust
bar if anyone gives you a 99%
guarantee that they won’t fuck
your parent it’s them
Cisco 🖖🏽: bc they don’t fuck
anyone
Snart: don’t they
Bar 💖💗💓: hey I know
exposure to this group made
me more comfortable with the
topic of sex as a whole but I’d
prefer if we keep a lid on my
sex life
Cisco 🖖🏽: gotcha
Snart: sorry
Sara 🤝🏻: anything for you bar
Caitlin: ofc!
Oliver 😳: okay back on topic
I will not seduce Eddie’s
parents bc im in a
monogamous relationship
Linda: you don’t have to
SLEEP with them
Linda: just see if they’d be
willing
Snart: I feel like Queen‘s
fame would be cheating
I swear Oliver
if you enter
keystone I will
have felicity cancel
all your
hairdresser
appointments
FOR ALL
ETERNITY
Oliver 😳: I need to go
through keystone if I
wanna go to star???
you LITERALLY
DONT ITS THE
OTHER
DIRECTION
Sara 🤝🏻: what if Oliver
wants to see me 🥺
then YOU can
visit HIM idc
Bar 💖💗💓: pro of that
is that Ava won’t have to
see Oliver
Sara 🤝🏻: aw but I like when
she’s hating on him
Oliver 😳: I don’t
all the more
reason not to
fuck my parents
Oliver 😳: I NEVER
WANTED TO
GOOD
Mick 🥵: im gonna
Linda: MICK YES
MICK NO