Not all days can be good

by Aghiii

Summary:

Elliot had a really bad day, luckily Chance is here for him.

Notes:

Third consecutive paycheck fic step one GUILTY.

 

sowy if someone is here for the enstars fics thing I dooooubt, they gonna come back soon, I think, maybe.

This day feels dense as hell.

After a night of not being able to sleep well Elliot finds himself tired, but hey, it's not like he can afford to take a day off, his friends need him in the rounds. And that's fine, he's happy to be able to help them, really.

He thinks that maybe the day will improve, that when he starts cooking his pizzas between rounds, everything will feel lighter. Sadly, that's not the case.

He doesn't know if it's because of tiredness or if it's just one of those days where he feels at his limit but his production is being too slow and even disastrous. At first, he accidentally dropped a packet of flour on the floor. Guest offered to clean it up for him, always so kind, but Elliot refused. He dropped it after all; it would be fitting for him to clean. Something that took his time in cook. After finishing, he realized there was only one more package of flour left. Jeez, he really needs this to restock. There's never a date for when that will happen. One day, you just open the drawers and there's more food and products than before. So with just one package he would have to ration everything well.

Normally, he'd be having a good time preparing, feeling happy despite the pressure of limited time. That's not the case today. He's feeling...stressed. Stressed out that he might run out of pizzas and can't make any more, what is he supposed to do if he show up to one of the rounds without any pizzas? That would be terrible. It may sound silly from the outside, but the feeling of not being able to help others eats away at him from the inside.

Sooner than he thought, the first round started. It went fairly well. He missed a few thrown, but the pizza always landed close to those who needed it, so it wasn't so bad. He was one of the first to die, though, so he couldn't really do much.

The worst part was when he reappeared in the main cabin and smelled a strong odor. A burning smell. And it was coming from the kitchen.
He rushed out as fast as he could only to find one of his pizzas in the oven completely burnt... oh, how irresponsible! How could he have forgotten it there?! He took it out as quickly as possible, but there was nothing he could do; it wasn't even slightly toasted, it was almost black. A big mistake. It's true that Elliot sometimes puts the oven on high to speed up the process, although he shouldn't; it's the most practical thing to do in this situation.

With a big sigh he simply threw the pizza in the trash, there's no point in giving this to someone, it would be practically inedible.

Biting his lip lightly, he put another one in the oven, this time paying more attention to it until it was ready. Little by little, his friends all reappeared, some milling around and others directly into the lobby. Another time, he'd love their company, he'd love to hear them running around and laughing. Today, the noise irritates him, and he feels terrible about it because they're his friends! It shouldn't irritate him if they laugh and are happy! Maybe all the noise is dulling his mind.

Luckily he managed to cut the pizza just in time for the next round...which he didn't use at all, he died first. He tripped while escaping and gave the killer an easy way to kill him, seriously, what's happening to him today? Well, on the bright side, he don't need to cook anything, he can just heat this pizza up for the next rounds.

Next rounds that were not good either, several first deaths, many failed throws, and worse yet crucial throws that could have saved his friends, in only one round he lived until the end and it was because Guest defended him the whole match and Chance gave him a first aid kit and stayed with him too. But really nothing good.

And the last round of the day was what finally wore him down. That map. That damn map with his beloved pizzeria completely devastated. His heart always leaps when he has to be here, filled with memories, memories of having to put out the fire with the slightest spark he saw in the establishment, the disgusting memory of having to run away when everything caught fire and still being caught in the flames, those scars that seem to never go away. His head is a constant ache. His throwns become even more inaccurate than they were before and he has a hard time concentrating on escaping, on paying attention, on listening for every sound that could save or ruin everything. His teammates have already told him that if he feels too down about being here, it's okay, he doesn't need to always help out; sometimes, just finishing the generators is fine. They're all so kind, but Elliot can't afford that. If everyone is doing their best to survive, then he should do the same for them and help in the best way he knows.

But when he least expected it, only he and Chance were left here. They were doing the best they could. For once, it seems their luck was on their side the entire match. He never heard or saw their gun go off, and his accuracy seemed to be unblemished. Despite that, the killer eventually caught up with them. When the timer was about to end and Chance was a few health away, Elliot knew what he had to do. But oh, there were no more pizzas in his box. How was it possible? He was sure he'd cut enough, in desperation he saw Chance before they fell to the ground from a sword blow, the pool of blood forming beneath him. Elliot can only watch in horror, yes, he is used to violence, but this is nothing more than his fault. He only needed one more piece! And they both could have survived!

1x's laughter is what brought him back to his senses, making him remember that he has to run. That mocking laughter. He knows that 1x laughs at everyone, it's nothing new, but it seemed like if they were directly mocking him, how pathetic he was not only in this round but all day. It makes his blood boil but he also has the feeling of wanting to collapse on the floor and cry until he dries up. But he can't do that, he can't give them more reasons to mock.

Elliot tried, he really tried, he ran as fast as he could but a sword thrust straight into his back ended it all.

Finally, that was the last one.
When he arrived at the cabin, he felt the eyes of some of them. Could Chance be one of those staring at him? He doesn't want to know. They're probably disappointed, isn't he?

Without wanting to say anything else, he gave a brief general goodnight before heading to his cabin. He really didn't want to be there; he knew they were probably going out for dinner, but it was fine this way. There must be at least one pizza left, and they could accompany it with something else that they prepare.

As soon as he entered, he collapsed on the bed. Stupid Elliot. No energy or strength for anything. He hadn't even realized how tired he was until now, nor had he noticed the tightness in his chest. Fuck. Now that he thinks about it, he hasn't taken out his binder in a few hours. A long few hours.

Just as he was thinking about settling in for a rest, there was a knock at the door. Elliot just sighed in frustration, giving a small okay to whoever was outside to come in. It's Chance. Of course it's Chance. Honestly he feels a bit bittersweet seeing him right after that last round, but Chance doesn't seem dissapointed or anything. Of course they aren't. Chance would never feel dissapointed at him for that right? They are here with a smile on their face as always.

"Chance! Did you need something?"

Despite being tired, Elliot always tries to be in a good mood, both for himself and for others. He doesn't like the feeling of sadness, but sometimes it's harder to hide.

"Not really, I just wanted to see if you were okay man"

"I am! Don't worry, and shouldn't you go to dinner with the others?"

"Shouldn't ya do it too?"

"I'm not hungry tonight"

And that's true, he really feels his appetite and stomach completely closed. He feels like if he bites into anything he might end up vomiting.

"Aw come on, you can't go to sleep on an empty stomach, you'll wake up starving. Don't you want some tea?"

Actually. That doesn't sound bad. A cup of tea before bed would make  relax and stay warm. Just what he needs now.

"You know what? You're right". Elliot wanted to get up to go get it ready but Chance gently grabbed his shoulders to make him sit back down in bed. "Uh? Chance?"

"I'll do it for you! You're tired today, aren't you? It shows on your face. Just stay here and relax comfortably. Our pizza boy deserves a good rest too"

"...Thank you"

"You don't even need to thank me doll"

And just as he came, he leave. Elliot feels a small hint of warmth in his chest. It's a small gesture, yes, but it reminds him that Chance cares about him. Chance is really caring, even if it doesn't seem like it, he's always there in one way or another, both for him and for the others. What a charming guy.

Once alone, Elliot started to undress, luckily they have some clothes to use like pajamas there. But seems that his bad day is following him even when the worst part alredy happened.

He heard a ripping sound, like fabric being torn. And it was. As he took out his binder, it came unstitched on one side, leaving it completely open. Ellio had already noticed that it was starting to unravel slightly. Maybe he just hadn't taken proper care of it. He'd had it for so long, and it just had to rip apart today?! He looks at it in his hands, he knows it's fixable, there must be threads and a needle somewhere, at least to patch it up for a while so he can continue using it. It's a small thing compared to everything else that's happening here, but why does it feel so suffocating? Maybe it's something emotional? His family was with him when he bought it. His little sister looked really happy to see Elliot happy wearing it. He's had other binders, but this was the first one where everyone could make time to accompany him. In fact, technically, it was a gift from them. As much as Elliot likes having his own money and spending it on his own things, his father insisted that he would buy it for him that time. So yeah, it's a gift, the last gift he had from them before arriving here...and now it's unstitched...ah. And it would take time to fix it, so he doesn't have anything to use, well there are bandages, but they might be a bit uncomfortable to wear for a long time.

Before he knew it, a tear fell upon it, and another, and another.

Everything seems to have collapsed because of this. What a shitty day.

He tried to wipe away the tears that were falling but they just kept coming out accompanied by small hics.

The door opening made him jump slightly, raising his head to find Chance with a steaming cup in their hand and a concerned look. They quickly placed the cup on the nightstand and sat down next to him. Elliot lowered his head again, not wanting Chance to see him in this state.

His hand moved the strands of hair that fell over his face, leaving it uncovered, just what he didn't want.

"Elli...? What's wrong?"

Of course Chance would be worried, not only seeing him cry but also because he left him alone for probably less than five minutes only to find him like this upon their return.

Elliot tried to answer him as clearly as possible, but a small sob always seemed to be present.

"My binder...it unstitched"

Chance's gaze went to the object, taking it in his hands to see it better.

"Aw, I'm so sorry, Elli, but I'm sure we can fix this out somehow"

"I know"

Chance carefully folded the fabric and laid it on the side.

"There's something else, isn't it Don't take this the wrong way! I understand why you're sad about this, but...anything else on your mind, Elli?"

"...Am I really that obvious?"

"I don't think so, but you always seem pretty happy and lively, so the slightest change already draws attention, y'know"

"Do you think the others noticed it too?"

"Probably"

"Oh dear..."

"What's wrong with it?"

"Mm?"

"What's wrong with others knowing you're not okay? It's normal"

"I know it's normal, more here, it's just that... I don't know, is...embarrassing?"

"Why would that be?"

"I just don't want to worry the others"

"How hypocritical you are, Elli"

Chance chuckles, giving him a friendly pat on the back.

"What?"

"You always worry about us all, what's wrong with us worrying about you too?" Elliot remains silent. Looking at them. He has nothing to refute that. "Come here doll"

The boy was confused for a few seconds before Chance wrapped his arms around him and pulled him towards them. A hug.

"Chance what are you doing?"

"What? I can't give you a hug? I can't want to comfort you? I know you're feeling bad, and that's okay. You should let yourself be sad, Elli. It's a healthy thing, y' know. I'm here to support you in whatever you need"

Ah... Elliot stays still for a few moments, but without quite knowing why, tears start to form in his eyes again. Chance is such a sweet guy. He could be out having dinner with the others or doing something more interesting right now, but instead they're here accompanying him and trying to help him, when they don't even know what's wrong with him in the first place.

But right now, maybe he really needs this, maybe his body needs to let off steam. He carefully hides his face in the gambler's shoulder, his arms wrapping around them as well as he lets his sobs fall onto their jacket.

Chance remains silent, his hand gently making a soft circular soothing caress on Elliot's back. The cold of this place threatened his skin but being in Chance's arms kept him warm. It feels very cozy.

Chance carefully untied his hair and arranged him closer to them, almost sitting him on thir lap, surely he's just trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible. And boy, are they succeeding.

Elliot's body feels relaxed, it's as if his mind feels completely shut off and only takes care of sobbing. There's no noise, there's nothing. Just Chance's presence.

"You...you need talk?"

"I-I don't think so? It's not that much, really, it was just a bad day. A bad, stressful day. I started tired, and things didn't get better, I guess I'm overwhelmed...? And I didn't help much today either, my throws were terrible"

"That's normal, it can always happen. Remember that you can take a day off from time to time; you're not obligated to always be there. And hey! Don't say that, everyone has their good and bad days in the rounds, haven't you seen how many times my gun explodes??"

Elliot chuckles slightly at that last bit, before getting more serious again.

"But you guys never take a break either"

"That's a lie? There are always moments of rest when we're not there, but maybe you don't notice it because of the adrenaline rush"

"Ah..."

"You deserve to rest too, Elli. You work very hard for all of us. You deserve a well-deserved rest. No one will get angry if you do it, I assure you" He patted him on the back. "Why don't you take a break tomorrow? That way you can recover for today"

"...That would be nice"

"See? So tomorrow's your day off. Don't even think about trying to overwork yourself like you always do, because I'll have no excuse other than to stay locked up here with you so you can't come out"

"Pfff, that's just your excuse to have a day off too"

"Maybe!"

Both chuckled, and Elliot realizes he's stopped crying. His eyes feel puffy and his face red from it, but he's calmer now. Chance cheered him up in a good way.

"Thank you, Chance. Thank you for staying with me"

"Sure doll, for whatever you need"

Chance gave him a good squish, and he did the same, maybe squeezing harder than he should. It's like Chance needs a hug, too. Probably they do.

Elliot pulled away slightly, looking at him and giving them a smile. And they did the same, not the usual playful smile but a softer and more sincere one.

"I feel better now, thank you"

"Baah stop thanking me, you've already did it too much"

Chance pinches Elliot's cheek, laughing at Elliot's small whimper.

They both remain silent for a few moments before Chance's gaze drops for a moment and automatically averts, clearing his throat and grabbing the sheets to cover Elliot.

"I think you should change, you're going to catch a cold at this rate"

Elliot blinks before reacting, blushing slightly and wrapping himself in the sheets the best he can.

"R-Right"

"I'll warm up this tea for you, okay?"

"Nice...and Chance"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you can stay the night with me?"

"Sure babe, no problem"

And with that, Chance left, and Elliot could change in peace. He left the folded binder on his nightstand, hoping to fix it later.

In the end, that night Chance stayed with him, telling anecdotes about his life or joking, he seemed to want to keep Elliot's spirits high at all times.
Somehow, Elliot fell asleep with his head resting on the gambler's chest with a hand playing with his hair. It was a good sleep, really. Maybe he should ask Chance to stay at night more often.