Chapter Text
Uppercut to the throat,
I was off guard
Pure heroine, mistaken for featherweight
Fire.
It seemed to be all around her, burning like an absurd cage. Her tears kept coming and coming, but they were never enough to quench the fire. She stood there, staring into the Courascanti skyline in a beautiful, intricate nightgown Sabé had picked out. It was baby blue and covered in fine lace, made by Nabooian artists. It had matching lace arm sleeves and slippers, that she padded across the apartment in to answer the door.
“Padmé?”
“Obi Wan! I was so worried. I thought you’d be dead!” They embraced as two old friends.
“Padmé, has Anakin been here?” His brow was furrowed in thought, almost sadness, but Padmé couldn’t tell.
“Yes…right after the attack on the Jedi temple. Why? Is he alright?” Obi Wan sighed an paced around the apartment while she sat on the couch.
“Padmé, I fear the republic has fallen. The Jedi Order is no more. I believe we’re part of a larger plot…one hundreds of years in the making…”
“But the senate is still intact! There must be some hope?”
“Padmé, no.” His voice faltered on the last word. “ the Sith now rule the galaxy.”
“The Sith?” She sounded stunned, lost for words.
“Padmé, I need your help. Do you know where Anakin is?”
“Why? Is he in danger? From the Sith?”
“Padmé, he’s in danger from himself. Anakin has fallen” she gasped, “to the dark side.”
“Obi Wan, how could you say that? Anakin would never. Not my Ani…”
“Padmé you have to tell me where he is! He’ll only do more damage!”
She rose from her seat as a tear started to fall down her cheek, “No. As far as you are concerned, I do not know where he is.”
“Padmé please!”
“Why? So you can kill him?”
“Master yoda-”
“I don’t care about what Master Yoda said! He is your brother, how could you even think about-”
They were both standing and shouting now, making quite a sight.
“Padmé, do you think I want too? But I watched holos of him murdering younglings and swearing allegiance to Darth Sidious who happens to be Palpatine!”
“Palpatine was behind this?”
“Yes! He was behind everything! He’s the reason hundreds of thousands of clones died needlessly, He’s been behind everything!” Obi Wan was turning red now, getting to let out his fury for the first time.
“He’s been grooming Anakin! I can’t believe I didn’t see it!”
“Padmé, please. I’ll help you try to bring him back. We just need the time.”
The senator was now full of resolve at having identified her real enemy. “Let’s go. I’ll let Typho know and tell Ellé to act as me in the senate.”
“I thought you didn’t know where he was? Padmé just shot him a glare.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖✶⋆.˚
Why do we run
To the ones we do
I don’t belong to anyone, ooh
When the sleek Nabooian ship entered the atmosphere, it was full of smoke. They landed on a steel gray platform above the bubbling lava. Padmé and Obi Wan had decided it was best for her to talk to him first before Obi Wan came out.
Padme walked down the ramp, holding in tears as she saw her husband running towards her.
“Padmé!”
“Oh, Anakin. What has happened? I’ve heard terrible things. You killed younglings? You’ve turned to the dark side?”
“Shh, Padmé. It’s all okay now. Don’t you see? I did this to save you!”
“Anakin, I’m not going to die. All I want is your love!”
“Love can’t save you Padmé. Only my new powers can do that.”
“Anakin, you're a good person. Don’t do this! You’re scaring me.”
He brushed these concerns off as he turned to see another ship entering the planet’s atmosphere.
“Look, here comes my new master now. He can tell you all about it.”
“Anakin, please, just come with me.” She begged, hand outstretched.
He turned back towards her, cape billowing. “Padmé, I can’t lose you.”
“Anakin, you’re going down a path I can’t follow.” Her hand dropped, and her voice faltered on the last word as she started slowly stepping back, scared of what he had become.
The ship landed, and the newly christened emperor stepped out. Anakin turned, ignoring Padmé’s pleas to kneel before his master.
“Master.”
“Rise, Darth Vader.” The words sound like knives being stuck into her ears. It was pure torture to watch the interaction infront of her. As if hearing her thoughts, Palpatine’s eyes lifted from his new apprentice to meet hers.
“Lovely of you to join us, Senator.” Padmé felt nauseous when she saw the yellow eyes tinged with red. She almost puked over the edge of the walkway when she saw her husband turn around with the same eyes.
“Anakin, you’re scaring me.”
“Padmé, why won’t you say hello to Palpatine?”
“Anakin, please! Stop now! Come back!”
“Don’t listen to her foolishness, my young apprentice. She’ll die without my help.”
“No…NO!” Padme yelled. She wished she the right words to say, but she didn’t. Everything was all so fuzzy.
“Padmé, we have to go! She turned to see Obi Wan behind her. “There’s nothing more you can do.”
“Anakin…”
“That’s not who I am anymore.”
“Then my husband is truly gone.”
“Padmé run!”
So she ran, ran as Anakin chased them and Palpatine threw lightning at their ship, ran up to the boarding ramp and piloted the ship far, far away. Obi Wan took over once he realized her hands were shaking. She barely made it to the back of the ship before she was sobbing, with only R2 to comfort her. Thank god he’d come aboard, or else she’d be truly alone.
She’d already sent the comm to her team that she’d be going into hiding and to fake her death, so there was nothing more to be done. She wished there was something, anything, to take her mind off of the tragedy her life had become. It seemed like days later Obi Wan had come to nudge her awake.
“We’re at Polis Massa. Bail and Master Yoda are inside, waiting for us.”
Padmé just nodded and let him lead her inside the complex. It was small, but well equipped.
“Padmé!”
“Bail!” The two old friends embraced.
“It’s good to see you alive, Padmé. We need to start discussing next steps.”
“I’ve already talked to my team. They are faking my death as we speak and preparing everything for me to go into hiding. I’ll…vanish.” With these words the fire in her eyes seemed to go out; as if all her fight was leaving her.
“Padmé! That’s ridiculous! You must help us form a rebellion. We cannot let this empire stand!”
“There’s a rebellion?”
“Yes. There is. I will not force you to join, but I beg of you to help us. You are one of the best minds in the galaxy.”
She just numbly nodded her head to this. “I’ll think about it.”
Ten minutes later the pains started. She was rushed into one of the rooms, only to learn that due to the stress on her body, she was having a miscarriage. Not only that, but the whole time it had been twins, not just one. The whole time she sobbed and sobbed, inconsolably. She had lost everything. Every scrap of him was torn from her.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖✶⋆.˚
Am I ever gonna love again
Am I ever gonna love again
Am I ever gonna love again
The days that followed all seemed to bleed into each other. Every day, she woke up to horrifying headlines on her holopad, whether it was “Emperor declared new law banning criticism of the new government”, or “Darth Vader squashes illegal crime rings”. News of him sent her spiraling into new waves of grief. She still couldn’t accept that he was gone. She kept telling herself that any minute he’d walk through the door, smiling while holding the twins. He wasn’t gone, he couldn’t be. This had to be some feverish nightmare. Just a dream that would end.
Her days were simple. wake up, try to eat, cry, read something on her holopad, and go back to sleep, crying usually. He was still there in her dreams, but some nights he’d morph into the black suited monster she’d seen on her holopad. Padmé would wake up screaming these nights, hand on the blaster on her bedside, only to wake up to darkness. Empty darkness.
It was weeks later she started to heal. She was rarely seen out of her mourning black around the rebel base, but it was progress for her to be seen outside of her room. Ahsoka and Obi Wan were her constant companions, with them too having to stay in hiding. They all tried to fill the emptiness left by him in each other. Slowly, they started to smile again. While Anakin Skywalker was gone, his loved ones were not. And that love is what helped them heal.
.𖥔 ݁ ˖✶⋆.˚
onths later Bail tried to approach her about joining the rebellion. It was a quiet night on the small moon they were calling home, at this point the rebellion was more focused on survival than fighting. The two friends had just finished tea when he broached the subject.
“Padmé?”
“Mmm?” She seemed drawn out of her stuppor as he talked.
“Have you reconsidered my offer to join the rebellion, at all?”
She took a sharp intake of breath at this. In all honesty, it hadn’t crossed her mind till now, with every day focused on relearning her life.
“Honestly, I haven’t thought about it since that night. But now that I reconsider it, I think- I think I will. I need something to fight for. To burn for.”
Padmé could see his growing smile.
“I’m so glad to hear it. I knew you’d come around. You’ve always been one of those people that just burn. It’s been awful to see you flickering.”
“Not anymore.”
They clinked glasses, to a small flame in all the darkness.