Chapter Text
He stares at the picture of Josh and him, stuck to his table, courtesy of Josh, when he didn't hate him that is.
Safe to say, Alex Volkov did not expect this turn of events. Ava had forgotten him quite quickly and he didn't feel anything about it. Moreover, the younger Chen seemed happier with Jules than ever, and he could get on board.
Josh, however, was a different matter.
He hadn't forgiven him, far away from it. He made it known every second that he hated Alex. That's not exaggerating, it and Alex wish it were. But he also knows where Josh was coming from. Josh Chen hated lies. More than anything in the entire world.
Josh had told him the reasons, opened his heart to him and Alex lied to the same heart. So, all the ways to Josh were now closed to Alex. The former ignored him like a plague and whenever he could not, he hated him hard enough to leave.
And Alex, well.
He can't figure out why it matters to him that much not to let it go. He had betrayed people and left, done worse and left. Never caring about others. It wasn't in his textbook. Just as he liked it. He was known to not care and actually complacent to go with the reputation he built brick by brick for himself. He really thought he would stop thinking of the whole ordeal without a second thought, but Ava had invited him to group hangouts, not caring much, with her big heart after all, and…
He'd firsthand experienced how hurt he made Josh, and how Josh looked like he would rather die than talk to him.
Alex knew how deeply Josh could hold grudges. He'd seen it and was currently, unfortunately, experiencing it. It was natural to leave him perplexed about why he was so interested in getting to the good side of Josh Chen after all.
He chalks it up to the years they've spent together as friends. The word still tastes strange on his tongue. Josh made sure he dragged Alex to every hangout, every meeting, and flooded him with single details of his life all by the label of best friend. Alex should've reciprocated, but Josh didn't even budge from the fact that he didn't. He was just there silently understanding.
Yeah, that's probably why. Doesn't change the fact that Alex Volkov needs a cleanse. From all these thoughts, from all the past again, and from Josh.
Although he doesn't make any effort to move the picture or the frame anywhere else, it just sits on his desk, completely contradicting the blurred black room and the no colour rule of his office.
—
“You know, I’m still surprised Christian fell in love before you.” Rhys passes a drink to Alex as they sit alongside the bar.
“I'm not here to talk, Larsen.” Alex scowls, ignoring Rhys with all his might.
“Right, you never talk like a normal person, I forgot.” Rhys sighs, almost rolling his eyes.
“You're becoming more insolent by the day. What a pity.” Alex shakes his head, taking a sip of the bitter whiskey.
“At least, I'm happy.”
“Who says I'm not?” Alex says. He was waiting for a client. In a bar where he was requested. It was suspicious, but he wasn't worried. A bar was mostly where his deals happened. Only this time he stumbled upon an infuriating audience.
Rhys lets go of the topic with an amused smile. “It's Bridget’s birthday Tomorrow and you're going to be there. Read the invitation in your emails.”
“Are you inviting or ordering?”
“Merely reminding,” Rhys says. “Because for whatever reason, everyone would like your presence, you're still our friend.” Rhys contemplates for a second before adding, “Everyone except Josh, of course.”
That catches Alex’s attention. “I assume you invited more individuals than there are to a wedding.”
“Yeah, it's Bridget's birthday.” Rhys exclaims, believing that it explains everything. “So be there and lose the scowl maybe.”
Alex remains silent at that. It was always a conversation growing long with Rhys. His phone rings with a text from his company saying the client, apparently unnamed, cancelled the meeting last minute due to an emergency. His time being wasted like an invaluable thing, he's going to look for the client’s emergency, surely.
He almost forgets Rhys is still there until he talks. God knows how Christian bears with Rhys all the time, it was getting galling already.
“I'm quite confused with your…..bond with Chen.” Rhys frowns, whatever he's thinking, showing all over his face. Alex stayed quiet letting Rhys continue. Not getting where this conversation was headed.
“I think you were closer to Josh than Ava and now you're more worried about your friendship with Josh than ever. Even though it might not be just friendship.” Rhys nods to himself. He came to this nonsensical conclusion all by himself.
“Is running around behind Bridget every second getting to you, Larsen?” Alex narrows his eyes.
“Not sure but Josh not running around you is clearly getting to you.” Rhys says as the corners of his mouth tip up, controlling his chuckle.
“You're delusional.”
“Take my advice, Volkov, if you like Chen you should clear it up with him. Or maybe first apologize, a foreign concept to you.”
Choosing to ignore the first part completely, Alex stands up paying the bill by scanning his card not looking towards it. “I've apologized already.”
“It's Josh, that guy keeps grudges for a stupidly long time.” Rhys raises his eyebrows.
“Don't you have a party to plan, Larsen?” Alex walks out of the bar with a growing perplexed frown on his face before making it neutral as usual.
He looks around the bar, his driver pulling up in a McLaren beside him before getting in. It starts to get cold, mid November weather showing its colors. His mind strays the conversation in the bar, shaking his head. Rhys was crazy, crazy and delusional and bored to have come up with this shitty opinion.
He would rather have a bullet shoot him, multiple times, repeatedly, than have that come true. Josh was……
A complicated person. But not complicated enough to make Alex interested surely.
"Not sure but Josh not running around you is clearly getting to you.”
No.
That was bullshit.
It wasn't that he couldn't be attracted to a man, it's that he couldn't be attracted to Josh—
His phone rings with a text again. Making him consider killing the said texter. He opens the message already annoyed at whatever interrupted his trail of bloody thoughts.
It's from the highly unnecessary and unethical group in which he was added against his will and never paid enough attention to leave it. It's a picture of…
Josh.
Maybe his fate is playing with him. This is ridiculous, he opens the group, knowing his seen receipts are off and no one can see him online or in the group for that matter.
JChen
*attached a picture*
guys look at the cat i just
treated, he stumbled upon
the hospital by accident and i had
some free time :)
Along with the text was a picture of Josh smiling in a selfie besides a black cat who was seemingly glaring at him. But Josh had no awareness as he smiled with a peace sign up.
Alex stares..
And stares some more.
Josh was……..
beautiful.
But that had always been a known fact. For everyone, really. Even Josh, especially Josh, made it known by calling himself handsome several times, no one disagreed. No one could, not even Alex. So that was usual.
This selfie though was different. He looked good. More than good—
No.
Rhys was hijacking his mind. There was no way he could think that. His phone rings again and he highly controls himself from putting it on silent and avoiding it forever.
AChen
no josh you're not
bringing a cat to my apartment.
JChen
i didn't even ask yet???
AChen
your apartment doesn't allow cats
and i’m saying no so please do not.
JChen
:( ok.
SAlonso
aw but the cat is so cute
@CAlonso Christian can we keep him?
CAlonso
Butterfly, we already have a cat.
SAlonso
please?
CAlonso
Fine. I'm going to murder you
Chen.
JChen
STELLA I'LL BRING THE CAT TO
YOU THEN THANK YOU.
SAlonso
:)
Alex’s fingers scroll upward towards the selfie before opening it. Josh was smiling, a natural smile that he usually doesn't show. Having mastered his neutral curve of lips when talking to patients and interviewees, it was rare for him to naturally smile and Alex knew it. He'd seen it, even sometimes directed towards him, and now…. he—
craved. it.
Craved to have his best acquaintance back, if not more. If not more. He wants to believe that's Rhys’s stupid thoughts in his head but denial is something Alex Volkov despises. It's his own rotten mind, looking at a simple picture and almost, almost, smiling. He turns off his phone at the starking realization.
He likes Josh.
As in likes Josh.
Likes Josh.
Alex Volkov does not believe he's in trouble many times. Once in a blue moon, maybe. It's only fair to think that he's lost his mind at last but it's safe to say….
He's in more trouble than he would like to admit.
——