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A = Aftercare (what they are like after sex)
Phineas clearly isn’t someone for pillow talk. He will fall asleep rather quickly after he cleaned you and himself with a quick Scourgify (he IS very cleanly). He prefers to avoid further body contact after sex, so he is likely to roll onto his side to drift off after calming down a bit. After sleeping with his wife, though, he sometimes feels the urge to allow himself a glass of firewhiskey in solitude, especially if she had been particularly needy and touchy. With male partners, he tends to act a little shy and as having done something sinful because it is still hard for him to accept his true sexuality, so he is silent and introverted and you have a hard time getting through to him. He might tolerate a good-night kiss you are giving him to tell him you enjoyed it and are there for him, though. No cuddling afterwards.
B= Body parts (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partners)
Of course he thinks of himself as practically perfect in every way and that includes his body. He basically loves everything about himself but is especially proud of his meticulously trimmed facial hair, luscious locks and his manicured hands and feet. It is no surprise his partners have to be super pristine, clean and good smelling as well. He has high standards and won´t tolerate anything less. His wife is as vain as him and enjoys the privileges of bathing every day. He thinks it only befits him that he has a pretty wife and is secretly very relieved for he could have had to marry any witch with pure blood and status. He sees her as overall attractive, though she is very slender and has slightly protruding ears. His other partners, female or male, have to be attractive and well-groomed. In men, he prefers you to be taller than him, quite muscular and with some amount of tidy body hair. It is a bonus if you sport a toned stomach and some hair running down to your private parts. In women, he likes your long hair (as long as it isn´t red, that is a no-go), especially loose and your slender figure with enough curves in the right places.Watching and touching your slender feet and ankles gets his blood pumping in different places very quickly, but this is clearly a fact for another category.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Needless to say that the seed of a Black is precious, therefore any sort of waste would be tragically. And there will be a good amount of cum each time. Clearly, its purpose is for procreation and he understands his duty to his family and to his wife very well, so when he is with Ursula, he always finishes within her (she would feel insulted otherwise and he doesn´t want to deal with that!). The result is having five children so far. With other women it is a bit more complicated because he has to avoid illegitimate children at all cost to save his reputation. He never trusts you completely or is too afraid, so he tries to pull out in time and presses you to take your contraceptive potion, just in case. Thankfully, he doesn´t have to worry about that with his male partners. His cum tastes exquisitely good, certainly a benefit from his good diet, even if hardly anyone gets to taste it. Phineas isn´t really into fellatio, partly because he is not very used to it (Ursula thinks it beneath her to please him “like a common whore” and that term kinda stuck with him), partly because he sees it as a bit filthy and disgusting. So sadly you won´t enjoy worshipping the headmaster with your mouth. When the opportunity to receive a good hand job from you arises, though, it´s a different story altogether and he might oversee the amount of sticky milky fluid on your hand that has been wasted.
D = Dirty secret
Phineas still has wet dreams of an old classmate of his, Ominis Gaunt´s father. For some reason, he has always felt weirdly attracted to him. In their teenage years, there was some kissing, touching and an occasional hand job, though Phineas would deny it vehemently. Best for you not to mention it. Phineas tells himself that it was nothing serious, just normal actions for teenagers to get the hormones out of the system and get some experience. At least these experiences stayed within their pureblood circle. Still, the vision of a certain clean shaved pale body and muffled groans still haunt Phineas and it gets worse every time they have to meet and that results in wet and explicit dreams. And for the two of them being the patriarchs of two of Britain’s most important pureblood families, there are plenty of occasions to meet.
E = Experience
He is more experienced with women for obvious reasons. Before his marriage, he had one or two sexual encounters with women to “prepare” him for the expectations in the marriage bed. Still, the intercourse with his wife is hardly more than a routine than an adventure and the frequency dropped drastically after the birth of his youngest son Cygnus. On top of that, they always remained a bit orthodox between the sheets and focused on the act itself in order to procreate. With you, there opens up a whole world of pleasure for Phineas but he is still a bit reluctant to discover and falls back into long-learned patterns. With male partners, he still acts awkward and shy and is in need of more teaching and guidance from you in that field. There had been a few French kisses and hand jobs with his pureblood peers in school, but that has never gone any further and until the first time with you, he had never had a man inside him.
F = favourite position
Phineas is more on the traditional side with this one. With you, he prefers to be the dominant part and take you in the missionary position, because that is what he is used to. Also, he likes to put one of your legs on his shoulder to be able to kiss your foot and ankle and receive an even better angle for penetration. When you encourage him to get a bit rougher, he won´t be averse to switch to doggy style and seems to enjoy that to a great amount. One time, you had acted like you were a student and had been sent to his office for breaking some school rules sporting only your stockings and one of his shirts. After some seconds of him staring at you with confusion and a priceless facial expression, he was quite eager to discipline you bent over his big wooden desk. With men, he is ALWAYS a bottom and all his dominance and arrogance goes down the drain. The two of you still have to figure out a position you both enjoy and Phineas is comfortable with.
G = goofy (serious or humorous)
Phineas is serious (lol, pun intended) and concentrated during sex. He has some difficulty to let go completely and struggles to see more than the physical act itself. He does not joke but he isn´t mean either. Again, with his male partners, he is too shy to be bold and has a hard time to look you in the eye.
H = hair
Phineas isn´t that hairy, he has a good amount of dark soft curls on his chest around the pecs that runs down to his belly in a thin line and in the armpits. As is all of his body hair, his pubic hair is meticulously trimmed and powdered. Unfortunately, he suffers from a nasty skin condition which results in red, quite painful boils especially on his buttocks and groins. He tried to find an explanation for this delicate problem, blaming his tight tailored pants and all the desk work he has to do as headmaster. Fortunately, there is a cure for boils that can be brewed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect)
He is a man that is mainly focused on the sex itself meaning he is more devoted to satisfy the carnal needs of both of you. He hardly gets overly emotional with you but quite passionate. You may even notice him giving you a deep look in the eyes while he moves inside of you though you never know if it is pure concentration, indulgence in the sensual sensations or honest affection for you that is going on behind those long lashes. He kisses you a few times in the beginning but not so much later on (except your feet and ankles). With his wife he feels just oddly settled and secure and yes, they are attached to each other in their own way.
J = jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Not very often. Sometimes, if he gets aroused in the solitude of his bedroom in Hogwarts in the evening or early morning, he would submit to the urge quickly and unceremoniously. He would make sure that the portrait of his wife on his nightstand is upside down beforehand. He likes to think of the shape of your body or the memory of your foot trailing softly over the backside of his leg during sex.
K = Kink
He is really into delicate, soft feet and small ankles. The man has a foot kink (this is official now) and the sheer sight of smooth skin and manicured toe nails is enough to stir something within him. The sensation of a naked foot being slowly dragged over his equally naked skin definitely gets him hard in seconds. Phineas also likes to touch and kiss your feet and ankles during your lovemaking.
L = Location (favourite places to do the deed)
That would be the bed for reasons of comfort and luxury. For Phineas, there is nothing better than to sink into a soft mattress and luscious, silken cushions with you as he is used to very high quality. As enticing your little interlude on his office desk was, he prefers the bed at any time.
M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
The narcissist he is, he loves being worshipped. If you act devoted to him and praise him honestly, he is definitely interested. With men, it really gets him when they are a bit cocky and domineering. He is also very sensitive to scent, so if he gets the chance to be near you and smell your perfume, he wants to be even closer to you. What really turns him on are your bare legs, especially ankles and feet. Out of years of experiences and after fathering five children, he knows that he finds his wife most attractive in the early stages of pregnancy and submits to her erotic aura and changes in her body more often what she doesn´t seem to find bothersome at all.
N = No (something they wouldn´t do)
He is not very fond of oral sex nor is he very good at it. Also, you won´t hear any obscenities (or compliments) from his mouth and really rough sex with slightly painful elements like biting or slapping he deems too vulgar. “Even in intimate affairs we shall be civilized and decent and not copulate like some sort of beast in heat!”
O = oral (Preference giving, receiving, skill)
As mentioned above, he is not into oral sex, receiver or giver. It is just something he isn´t used too (his wife despises it) and finds it slightly revolting even if he knows about cleaning spells. He prefers to pleasure you with his hands and is quite good at it. Some of his male partners asked him to suck them and he did once or twice but the whole thing wasn´t very erotic because of him gagging and nearly vomiting. On the receiving end, he enjoys your fingers wrapped around him or your hand carefully massaging his balls more.
P = Pace (fast and rough, slow and sensual)
When it comes to sex, Phineas is on the slower side but things can get faster towards the end when he is hunting his own climax. His thrusts are deep, vigorous and he maintains a steady, rolling rhythm. He can´t stand sloppiness even in matters of physical intimacy and almost sees the act as a form of art and perfection, too. With you as his male partner, you have to be slow and careful with him as he has only just begun his erotic adventures with other man.
Q = Quickie
He has good anatomic understanding and knows that with specific ministrations, sex is more enjoyable and fulfilling to both of you. Also, he likes to touch and feel a good body and being the reason you come quite undone. So Phineas likes to take his time with you when you are intimate. Same for his wife, because there is no way Ursula would fall so low to tolerate something quick and dirty in their marriage bed. That much he owes her. With you as his male partner, there is even the stronger need for a thorough preparation (and a good amount of oil) as he still isn´t used to penetration and has to feel secure and aroused enough to relax.
R = Risk (experiments, risk taking)
Although the Wizarding World of Victorian England isn´t as uptight and severe as the Muggle World, having extramarital affairs and “fornicating” with men are still considered as undesirable, especially when one is the patriarch of a pureblood dynasty and the headmaster of Hogwarts, so being with you is kind of a risk on its own. Therefore, Phineas isn´t prone to experiment with you and prefers it to do it his way, although he is willing and in need to learn from his male partners.
S = Stamina (how many rounds, how long do they last)
Phineas is 43 years old and still in his prime, but because he gets tired and exhausted easily from sex, you won´t get a second round with him in a row as a woman. He is able to restrain himself a little in order to last longer but usually he finishes quite quickly. He is a very sensitive man and the stimulation just washes over him. When being with a man, he orgasms almost right on the spot but because he is too nervous and overstimulated he is able to find completion a second time after a short refractory period. Phineas can´t really hold alcohol, it makes him even more tired, so you can almost be sure there is nothing to happen after he had a drink. Alcohol is a mood killer and he won´t be able to get it up anyways.
T = Toys
No toys in the bedroom! “Toys are for children and sex is not a stupid game!”
U = Unfair (how much do they like to tease)
Teasing is not really his style. If you want to make it count, he likes to pepper soft, feather light kisses on your feet and ankles, his facial hair adding even more to the stimulating sensation. It looks quite erotic when he does so.
V = volume (how loud are they, what sounds)
Much to his dismay, Phineas gets very vocal. You can hear all sorts of sounds from him during sex, from short grunts due to his physical exertion and long moans to a groan or even small screams here and there. With men, he can´t hide it at all, the sensations in his body are just too much to let him suppress anything, with you as a woman he half successfully manages to compose himself, the result is all of the above but muffled. You also notice his heavy breathing. When he finishes, there is a ragged huff followed by a long deep groan.
W = wild card (random headcanon)
Phineas has been sexually attracted to Aesop Sharp. They had a fling but because Phineas is the headmaster and is worried about his reputation (he can´t get caught fraternizing with his staff), he decided to end it. Things are still a bit… awkward between them. Especially since Sharp has seen his boil covered ass with his own eyes and is now regularly brewing a remedy for Phineas. It was sort of a silent agreement after their first time together.
X= X-ray (what’s going on under those clothes)
He would consider himself appropriately endowed. He is of average size and girth, not circumcised, pale like the rest of his body, but has heavy full balls (the man has FIVE children!) The whole package is nested in a well-groomed patch of soft black curls.
Y = yearning (how high is there sex drive)
Phineas' sex drive is quite normal for his age. After a stressful day at Hogwarts he is more prone to have an early night, but he easily falls for you when he finds you waiting for him in his chambers. You always say that he will sleep even better afterwards and he agrees. If you are not around, he might consider taking matters in his own hands and finds that it truly lowers his stress level. He doesn´t do it very often. Sometimes he longs for simple, satisfying sex with his wife but they only see each other during school holidays. When he is home, he will take advantage of that multiple times, though. Unfortunately, Ursula doesn´t seem to be so keen anymore after giving birth to five children, so Phineas opened up to other possibilities (you).
Z = zzz (how fast do they fall asleep afterwards)
Very fast. Phineas is always very tired after sex, it is exhausting for him as he is not one to pursue any sort of physical training (if his daily walks around the castle don´t count and even then he needs his regular naps in his office). There is a lot going on in his body and mind and he feels simply overwhelmed by his hormones after an orgasm.