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It was a warm Wednesday afternoon, and as per usual, Junko Enoshima was bored as hell. She paced around her room, brewing up all-new despair-inducing ideas. She checked the calendar on her wall, and noted that the 9/11 anniversary would be tomorrow. Ah yes, one of her personal favourite terrorist attacks she had pulled off. Nothing could top that. But, that gave her an idea; spread despair to the American public once more.
She reminisced on the stunt she pulled off last year- the assassination of former republican presidential candidate Donald Johnald Trump. Unfortunately, the events following were despairing as well- but not in the way she liked. Jance Dance Vance had won the president elect that following November, and the world very quickly fell into despair, but not a despair that Junko could control. A chaotic, rampant despair ran by figures well out of Junko’s reach.
That’s when she knew she needed some control back. These people were despair inducing alright- but despair inducing enough for Junko? Not a chance. She wanted to see the world fall more. She wanted to watch it crumble, and she wanted it all to go according exactly to her plan.
The obvious choice was to arrange an assassination on Jance Dance Vance- but no, that was *too* obvious. Predictable. Everyone would expect it. Plus, his security was pretty high after the whole trump thing.
She searched the news for current political events, and it didn’t take long for her to stumble upon Charlie Kirk, who was embarking on a brand new college campus debate tour thingy. Junko analyzed images of past tours of his- minimal security, sitting on a raised platform slightly above the rest of the crowds, outdoors, and most importantly- completely oblivious to the world around him, gaze lazer-focused on the hungover college girls he was debating abortion rights with. She then analyzed his character. He was widely hated by the general public, but not to the extent Donald Jonald Trump was or that Jance Dance Vance is. Yet, his demise would be sure to cause divide throughout Americans, and perhaps even humans across the globe.
“MUKURO!!!” She hollered.
“What is it this time, Junko?” Mukuro asked as she entered Junko’s room.
“I’ve planned another assassination.”
“Another?! Seriously, I can’t just be your personal hitman all the time.”
“That’s what sisters are for aren’t they? Anyways, wanna hear who it is this time?”
“Sure, I suppose.” Mukuro replied, indifferently.
“This guy named Charlie Kirk. Ever heard of him?”
“I think I’m familiar with him. He’s the insane guy who looks like Slappy from Goosebumps, right?’
“Yeah, that guy. He’s got a class trial in Utah today, wanna knock his lights out for me?”
“Just that? No special plan with a dozen unneeded characters included solely for AO3 fanfiction tagging purposes that do basically nothing the entire story this time?”
“Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me, Mukuro!”
In no time, Junko had rounded up a team of specially-trained Hope's peak academy students to assist her and Mukuro in getting the job done. They were specifically selected to assist in this plan, and definitely not just an assortment of some of the author’s favourite characters. (trust)
The team consisted of Ibuki Mioda, Celestia Ludenberg, (Going 2 for 2 on these assasination involvements ok Celeste I see you queen) Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, Peko Pekoyama (Again 2 for 2 ok diva!) Mahiru Koizumi, and Miu Iruma. (Come to think of it maybe Maki should make an appearance at some point but ummm I didn’t actually ever play v3 ok I just watch Miu Iruma compilations all the time ok guys don’t kill me)
After corralling the group, Junko sat them down to explain her master plan.
“Alright everyone, listen very closely. One wrong move and this entire plan could go awry.” She started. “Mukuro, you’ll be placed on top of this building, about 125 meters away. The perfect place to take the shot from for a trained soldier like you.”
“Indeed.” Mukuro replied.
“Celeste, once again I trust you’ve accurately calculated every outcome of this scenario- and the chances of this all going according to plan- which is 100%, of course. Correct?”
“Certaintly. Everything will go exactly how you want it to, Junko.” Celeste said, knowing damn well she didn’t do anything Junko asked her to and instead played online blackjack on her phone during her allotted calculation time.
“Perfect! Now, Fuyuhiko and Pekoyama, you’re both aware that you should be ready and armed- I mean exercising your second amendment right- in the crowd in case of the extremely minimal and improbable chance that Mukuro misses, correct? I’m not taking any chances again after last time, when Mukuro almost got us all slimed.” She said, glaring at Mukuro.
“That was literally Leon’s fault!!! He was being a dumbass!!!” Mukuro said, defending herself.
“Fine. Whatever. Anyways, Peko and Fuyuhiko, you’re both aware of your role in this project?”
“Yes.” “Mhm.” They responded.
“Wonderful! It’ll be easy to bring your guns in too, since they aren’t using metal detectors at the entrance. And Mahiru, you’ll position yourself about… here…” Junko said, moving a red token that represented Mahiru across her map of the Utah Valley University campus to a meticulously selected position. “...and that’s where you’ll get the best angle of the bullet sliding right through his neck. Try and find a journalist to share the footage with as soon as you can after the shooting, alright?”
“Alright. By the way, this does count as special circumstances- so I will be expecting an included expense on my commission bill, understood?” Mahiru said.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just take Mukuro’s wallet or something.” Junko replied. “Anyways, Miu. We’ll have you get into the debate line as soon as possible so that you can debate- and distract him- while Mukuro lines up the shot.”
“I’ll totally distract him with my master debating skills!” Miu said proudly.
“And Ibuki… heh… well, you just be Ibuki.” Junko said.
And with that, the assassinator association was on their way to Utah. They made Miu wear a gown over top of her outfit so that she wouldn’t scare the mormons too bad and also so they wouldn’t attract any attention from people other than Charlie. #HoeLifeOrNoLife
Everything was set up according to plan. Junko sat in the audience, surrounded by men who looked like a budget hulk hogan, and women who looked like they selected their spray tan colour while blindfolded and hammered. It was utterly nauseating for Junko. Seated somewhere else in the crowd was Ibuki, idk what she was doing, but I wanted her in this fanfiction because she is my favourite character!!!!
Junko could see Peko and Fuyuhiko both stationed far from her in the crowd. Far ahead of her and towards the front of the crowd, she could see Mahiru setting up the perfect angle to record the video of Charlie’s demise. Near Mahiru, she could see Miu standing in the debate line- she was the next to go up. Perfect. And while she couldn’t see her, Junko trusted that Mukuro was stationed at the perfect angle to slime the fuck out of Charlie. (Charlie… slimed? Some sort of… Charlie Slimesicle? heh… /ref)
Soon enough, it was Miu’s turn to go up and master debate. Full honesty, she was kinda cooking. She was schooling Charlie on mass shooter statistics, and Charlie replied with some stupid shit idk.
“Counting or not counting gang violence?" Charlie asked, smugly. He was then promptly shot to death.
Once again, Mukuro didn’t miss.
The entire crowd ducked down, and Junko followed. There were screams, gasps, and cries heard throughout the space. All Junko could do was smile to herself. It felt great to be surrounded by this much genuine, unstoppable despair!
Meanwhile, Mukuro expertly and stealthily scaled back down the building, concealing herself from any potential cameras recording her. The perfect crime- and she had just pulled it off.
The entire group united once again, outside of the Utah Valley University campus. Being college-age, none of the students looked like suspects. In fact, they blended in with the rest of the students perfectly- well, aside from some of their fashion choices.
—-------
The next few days were Junko’s own personal paradise. She obsessed over her phone, and all the news coverage of the event. A week had passed, and yet the FBI still couldn’t find the perpetrator. She scrolled social media, watching people fall into an anxious despair, watching people’s relationships tear apart over the whole event, and watching even the American government despair as they failed to find the cause of the attack and also as they mourned their community cumdumpster.
“What a great plan.” Junko thought to herself. “I should do this more often!”