Chapter Text
No one should endure as much suffering in such a short time as a certain young girl with beautiful lilac eyes. Kanao Tsuyuri experienced her first loss at birth when her mother did not survive a difficult labor - unexpectedly and tragically taking her from this world. Kanao's father, unable to bear the loss of his wife and tormented by the sight of the child who reminded him of her absence, fled the hospital and immediately took his own life, leaving the newborn without either parent on her very first day.
She spent her first year under the care of doctors and social workers in an orphanage, waiting for a new home. Due to complications from oxygen deprivation and other birth-related issues, she was not a healthy child. She had sensitive skin and fragile bones, and there was significant concern that she might not survive. However, as time passed, doctors realized that despite the odds, fate seemed to want her to continue living.
When she turned one year old, things began to improve as she found a loving family. By pure chance, she was adopted by the Kocho family. The couple had dreamed of having a son, as they already had two daughters, but due to complications with conceiving again, they visited the orphanage. Though they initially sought a boy, they couldn't resist the sight of the girl who resembled their two daughters and whose heart-wrenching story moved them deeply. From that moment, Kanao had a true family.
Kanao grew up shy and reserved. This wasn't caused by specific events, as she had no memory of her biological parents and didn't fully understand what had happened to them. When she turned seven, she finally asked why her last name was different from her sisters'. She didn't dwell on the answer, accepting her adoptive family as her real one. However, she struggled to make new friends, not being perceived as particularly engaging by others. She spent most of her time in quiet solitude, avoiding noisy, overly active peers. Instead, she preferred the company of her sisters and parents.
Her eldest sister, Kanae, was ten years her senior and always took care of the younger girls, finding time for them despite her busy schedule. Kanae loved seeing her family smile, particularly her little sisters, who sometimes struggled with that. Kanao idolized her older sister, seeing her as a role model. Kanae was not only stunningly beautiful but also exuded a cheerful and optimistic demeanor. Her radiant, dazzling smile left an impression on everyone, no matter the circumstances. When returning from school, Kanae would often scoop up Kanao, showering her with compliments and playing with her. She nurtured Kanao's budding interests, like giving her crayons or bubbles, which Kanao never even knew she enjoyed. To Kanao, Kanae seemed to have magical powers, as if she could predict the future or read minds with her remarkable intuition.
Her second sister, Shinobu, just three years older than Kanao, might not have differed much from the eldest in terms of stunning beauty, which also took everyone's breath away. However, her character was slightly less impeccable. She became frustrated much more quickly, always held herself to the highest standards, and couldn't accept failure or anything less than perfection. This was all the more surprising since she could never be accused of laziness or making any mistakes. Shinobu was an exceptional student wherever she went, and by the age of ten, her future looked incredibly bright, as she far outperformed other children her age.Perhaps this was why she also struggled with forming new friendships - she simply couldn't relate to others due to her extraordinary intellectual horizons. She was particularly irritated by people who showed no interest in anything or refused to put effort into their endeavors. The primary target of her frustration was her elementary school classmate, Giyu Tomioka. While he wasn't as talented as Shinobu, he wasn't unintelligent either. However, his laziness and lack of effort in realizing his potential always irritated Shinobu, leading to frequent sarcastic remarks from her.
Nevertheless, it would be wrong to conclude that she was unkind to others. On the contrary, she always tried to help everyone around her, even when they made it clear they didn't need her assistance. She cared deeply for her youngest sister, always finding time to help her with small household chores and private matters, dedicating herself to analyzing Kanao's daily life and encouraging her to connect with other children her age. Fortunately, the eldest sister, Kanae, was always there to provide balance. Kanae never forced anyone to do anything and believed that everything had its proper time. She was the voice of reason and had a remarkable understanding of life, which was invaluable to her younger sisters. Sadly, there came a time when they had to learn how to live without her.
One rainy evening, when eight-year-old Kanao was being picked up from her second-grade elementary school class by her eldest sister, a tragic car accident occurred. Kanae had only had her driver's license for a month, but there was nothing to fault her for. She drove with the utmost care, perhaps even overly cautiously, knowing that she was carrying someone in the backseat whom she loved dearly. However, she stood no chance against the drunk truck driver coming from the opposite direction. Losing control of his vehicle, he veered across the entire width of the road, leaving no room for Kanae to avoid the collision. Kanae died instantly. There was no opportunity even to attempt saving her life, as her body was devastated by the impact. Miraculously, Kanao survived.
Doctors and police specialists deemed it a true miracle. At the moment of the crash, she was thrown from the backseat at full speed, colliding with a roadside sign several meters away from the burning car, inside which her crushed sister lay. Despite severe bleeding and a shard of debris lodged near her stomach, doctors managed to save her life after a prolonged struggle. However, the force of the impact caused severe spinal cord damage, paralyzing her from the waist down. Her family didn't know what emotion to feel more strongly. They would never again see Kanae's beautiful, radiant smile, which had the power to dispel even the darkest clouds. That loss was impossible to come to terms with. The only thing that kept them sane was the fact that one of them had survived.
Although Kanao would likely have to spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair, she was still alive, and they were grateful for that. Fortunately - or as fortunate as one could be in such circumstances - the family's wealth allowed them to purchase all the necessary equipment to make her life as comfortable as possible. Kanao became the apple of her family's eye, with all their love and care focused on her, as though trying to channel the affection they once showered upon Kanae. This became a way of coping with the loss, though no one could fully come to terms with it. Kanae was irreplaceable, and after her passing, nothing was ever the same. Her parents were devastated but tried to focus on their two younger daughters, which gave them some strength and peace of mind, knowing they still had a reason to live. However, it was the two girls who suffered the most. Shinobu changed significantly after Kanae's death. She tried not to get angry as often and often wore a smile, hiding the pain she carried inside. She endeavored to emulate her eldest sister, though it was often a struggle for her. It took years before she was able to begin to heal, but even then, she was never truly able to forget Kanae.
Life changed the most for the youngest member of the family. All of her routines had to be replaced with new ones. What had once been a comfortable, well-ordered life was suddenly turned upside down. An overwhelming number of challenges arose, ranging from practical issues to far more complex ones. The hardest part for her wasn't even facing these difficulties but doing so without the support of her beloved eldest sister. Kanae would never again tell her what to do, offer much-needed advice, or brighten her day with a laugh. That loss was unbearable. Of course, the remaining family members did everything they could to help her, but in doing so, they often inadvertently caused harm - a harm for which they couldn't be blamed. Losing the ability to walk was a profound blow, both physically and emotionally. Kanao felt like a burden, an obstacle. The overprotectiveness and constant shielding only reinforced her sense of weakness and uselessness. She always thought that she's not showing enough gratitude.
The entire home was quickly adapted to suit her needs, and various accommodations were installed. She was enrolled in a private school specifically designed for individuals with disabilities, which further isolated her from society. Every step she took - metaphorically, of course - was carefully monitored to ensure she wouldn't hurt herself. Of course there's no way that Kanao blamed anyone for that. It was a complete opposite - she was so deeply grateful for the love and care she received that she didn't know how to express her thanks or how to repay everyone for their efforts. Her kind heart simply couldn't believe she deserved so much. She was acutely aware of the immense effort and money spent to make her life as comfortable as possible, yet she couldn't convince herself that she was worth it.
Just when it seemed she had accepted her new life and found a few reasons to smile, fate decided to shatter her heart into a million pieces once again. When she was fourteen, her parents passed away this time. There were no words to describe the hurricane that swept through their lives upon receiving this news. The sisters learned about the tragedy with a delay because their parents had been on a business trip intended to finalize a new contract critical to the future of their company. Their airplane suffered a malfunction, claiming the lives of all passengers, including their business partners. The consequences of this event were profound, impacting every aspect of their lives from that point onward.
Shinobu, fortunately, had just turned 17 and inherited the shares in their parents' company. However, many disrupted contracts resulting from their death caused an overwhelming amount of debt. The only way to eliminate these debts and avoid losing everything was to sell all the shares. Their financial situation deteriorated drastically. Shinobu, being an outstanding student aspiring to study medicine in the future, received numerous scholarships and other forms of support from her school to ease their financial burden. Despite this, their situation continued to worsen. The remnants of their parents' estate, most of which had been used to settle debts, were dwindling rapidly, further strained by Kanao's medical condition, which required ongoing rehabilitation and additional accommodations. Shinobu tried her best to ensure that Kanao could continue studying at her specialized private school, but she was slowly being worn down by the situation. Many nights were spent crying into her pillow, with no one to turn to for advice. The immense responsibility she bore - caring for her sister, managing finances, and focusing on her own studies - became increasingly unbearable. Finally, she realized she had to talk to her beloved sister, the only close family she had left. One evening, while Kanao was watching television, Shinobu decided it was time to initiate the conversation.
"Kanao? Can we talk?"
Her sister simply nodded, turning down the volume on the TV. It was common for her to sit idly like this after Kanae's death, as none of her previous hobbies brought her any joy anymore, except drawing. Most of her time was spent staring at the screen, clutching a pillow, with occasional breaks for studying or playing with a pencil and crayons. However, she didn't need to focus much on school since everything came to her so easily. She always had perfect grades, surprising many people who didn't necessarily want much to do with her.
Her life had been difficult, but after her parents' death, she completely broke down and withdrew even further than before. She spoke little, showed few emotions, and the sight of her sister, with dark circles under her eyes, constantly tired but doing her best, broke her heart. She had a very low opinion of herself and had no idea how to make things easier for her only remaining family. Her options were limited, not only because of her situation but also because of her age. And things were about to get even harder.
"I've been thinking about this for a long time, trying to balance everything, but we can't keep living like this. I love you so much, and I want the best for you, so I'll help however I can. But we need to make some changes. We need to sell our house. The bills are too high because we're living in the city center. I found a house on the outskirts of town, close to my school. It's cozy, and the money from selling this house will leave us with plenty for living expenses and more improvements for you."
"I don't need so many things. This house was too big for just the two of us anyway, so I don't mind moving. I just need a room on the ground floor, and I'll manage the rest. You don't have to try so hard."
"It's no trouble, really. But there's one more thing... Your school is too far for me to drive you there every day. It's also very expensive, and I was wondering if you'd consider attending mine. I promise it's not so bad. It has an elevator, and I've already talked to the principal to make sure your classes will mostly be on the ground floor. I'll be close to you, and it'll make things a lot easier for us. I'm sorry for wanting to take this away from you, but-"
"It's no big deal, really." For a moment, Kanao wanted to admit she never liked that school anyway, but she held back, not wanting to upset her sister. "I don't want to be a burden to you. I'll manage no matter what happens. I promise."
"Of course, you're not a burden. Please, never think of yourself that way. I promise that once I start working, I'll take care of you as best as I can."
"Shinobu, please. I've told you before, there's no way I'll let you work after college. Don't ruin your dreams because of me. You deserve to fulfill them. Don't let me stand in your way."
"You won't stand in my way, sweetheart. I'll manage both work and studying at the same time. Just live however you want, and I'll always be here for you."
{The problem is, I have no idea how to live.} Kanao thought to herself but only sighed.
"I need to go study. We'll talk about this later."
"Alright. We'll handle the move next month, once summer vacation starts. For now, we won't change anything. If there's anyone you'd like to say goodbye to, you should do it before leaving."
{I don't have anyone like that. I'm sorry I don't tell you.}
Especially after their parents' death, Kanao tried to keep all her sadness and worries to herself, not wanting to burden her sister with unnecessary troubles. She didn't think of herself as important - quite the opposite - and always tried to put others first.
The summer break was almost entirely spent on moving. Fortunately, Shinobu managed to negotiate with the buyer of their apartment to give them two months for the transition, allowing them enough time to transfer all their necessary belongings to the newly purchased house. It was half of a duplex - not very big, but it had a ramp at the entrance, which was incredibly useful for the disabled girl. The interior was a stark contrast to the luxury they had been used to. On the ground floor, there was a kitchen, a bathroom, Kanao's room, and a small living room. Various accessibility aids were installed throughout, but there was no way for her to get to the second floor unless someone carried her. Thankfully, she rarely needed to go upstairs, as it had a smaller floor area with Shinobu's room, another bathroom, and an additional room that could eventually be used by someone else. For now, it served as a small storage space. It wasn't much, but in the short time they had lived there, they had managed to settle in and felt much cozier compared to their old, spacious house that had felt empty and was filled with painful memories of their losses.
Finally, the end of summer arrived - a dreaded time for many students, but especially for one particular student of a regular high school. Although Kanao had attended a public school in elementary years before her accident, that felt like a lifetime ago, and her memories of it weren't exactly fond. Not that it was drastically different from the private school where she had spent the rest of her life, but at least there, she was just one among many. Here, she would stand out for sure. Kanao was strikingly beautiful and dressed quite fashionably - perhaps unknowingly so, but with her sisters' help, she had always managed to look like everyone else. Being in a wheelchair didn't diminish her in any way. If anything, it made her unique. While many things were harder for her, she had just as much worth as anyone else. In fact, her kind heart and gentle nature often set her apart in the best way. However, she had never fully accepted what had happened to her. She always felt like there was something wrong with her - like she needed help, attention, and sacrifices from others to make her life easier. She hated this feeling. Her self-esteem was low, and while she knew she required more help than others, she didn't want to receive it or be a burden to anyone.
As Shinobu wheeled her toward the school entrance, Kanao's breathing quickened, though she tried her best not to show it. Finally, she asked her sister to leave her alone and focus on her own classes. Kanao started making her way through the school corridors. Many students stared at her, so she kept her gaze fixed on the floor. This, however, nearly caused her to bump into someone, leading to a harsh comment: "Watch where you're going with that stupid wheelchair."
Kids can be cruel. Kanao became even more stressed, quickening her pace as she searched for any sign indicating where her classroom might be. She could hear whispers behind her and wasn't sure if they were about her, but they only heightened her unease. She was already beginning to dislike this place. She didn't want anyone's attention or to be a problem for them. The noise and movement were overwhelming, and navigating the narrow corridors was a struggle. She didn't want their attention, but at the same time, she didn't want to be alone. She considered returning to her sister and asking to be taken home. However, she couldn't embarrass herself like that or disrupt Shinobu in such an important place. Finally, she spotted a sign with her classroom number. Just one more turn, and she would be close. Unfortunately, as she turned the corner, a boy walking briskly came straight into her wheels.
"Ow!" he yelped softly, hopping on one leg and clutching his injured foot.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! It's my fault. I should have watched where I was going. I'm so, so sorry!"
"Haha. I must be really lucky - it's just the foot I injured recently. I'm really sorry. You shouldn't blame yourself, it's entirely my fault. I could have hurt you, and I'd never forgive myself. You must be the new student I've heard about. I wish we'd met under better circumstances, but I guess I made a terrible first impression. Anyway, it's very nice to meet you. My name is Tanjiro Kamado."