Chapter Text
Light flooded part of the room as the Alpha made his way into the storage room. Gao Tu hid beside some piece of furniture that he had not taken the time to look into. His body reacted so fast from one moment standing to hiding that it left him dizzy.
His heart beat so hard he was sure Shen Wen Lang would find him only for this. The noise a constant drum against his ears. Every one of his five senses ready to flight even in his dizziness and confusion.
As the other man, The Alpha, made his way into the room looking for his secretary and for the source of the noise, the door clicked shut after him. Leaving the room dark, barely illuminated by the soft lighting of the moon, trapped in it.
Soft, hunter-like steps passed by Gao Tu's side as he crouched, trying to remain invisible with all his will, fighting against every instinct in him that longed to reach out to the Alpha. But President Shen could not find him; he would never risk losing him, losing everything. He couldn't discover that he was an omega.
As the steps in the dark room faded a little, the omega used all of his strength to get up and rush out of the room. Each heavy step took a little out of him, his breathing ragged, and the confusion trying to pull him down, pull him under, and have him submit, have him present to the Alpha he had always wanted.
In his haste, he stepped over some glass he must have shattered earlier, making noise that surely would attract the Alpha to him. He moved faster, rushing to the door now.
Leave. His brain screamed.
Submit. His instincts begged.
His hand barely grazes the doorknob, just as a strong hand seizes his other arm, and he is violently pulled back and then pushed to the bed.
No, he did not want this. Shen Wen Lang did not want this. He was not in control. The Alpha's mind disconnected due to his biology's influence. His heat.
The air left his lungs for a second as he fell on the soft surface, but not long enough of a time for Wen Lang to react in the darkness as he used the little control he had over his heat to sit up and plan his escape. As soon as his back loses contact with the bed and his legs tense to run, a strong hand pushes him back into the bed.
Deep inside, his omega biology preens at the Alpha's determination to keep him.
Willing to hunt him.
Warm and strong fingers keep him pinned to the bed by holding his arm down. He uses the other arm to cover his face. The little window does not provide enough light to be seen, but he will not risk it.
President Shen doesn't want this. He doesn't want him.
Omegas are not what he wants. He has made that more than clear, and he will not lose it all for losing control over his body near him. He curses the lack of control he has over this failing body he was cursed with.
"An Omega in Heat." Murmurs the Alpha over him, his tone disgusted. "Who sent you?"
Any thought, any instinct of submitting that was burrowing within him leaves his brain. He does not want this. He truly does not want this. Gao Tu must be strong for both of them, as his pheromones have already trapped the Alpha.
With a last push, using the little energy he has left to fight this, his arms push away the man he loves, and this time, he manages to get on his feet and take a step towards the door.
The relief is short-lived as he is seized again, this time with both hands. Keeping him trapped within the strong grip of an S-Class Alpha to avoid any other escape attempt. He could use distress pheromones to force some sense into him, force his companion instincts to go into protection instead of mating.
He knows that it would work. Shen Wen Lang is a good man; he would not force him with the proof of distress shoved in his face.
He could use them
He could.
But the distress pheromones will not come out. He is in distress, but only logically; only his scattered thoughts are distressed.
His body wants him, his heart wants him. He wants him so, even when his brain is screaming to leave.
Even when his brain knows he is making the worst mistake of his life, he wants to stay.
He falls on his stomach this time, the bed creaking under his weight. A hand on his neck, pinning him in a deeply intimate way. No one had ever touched his gland to keep him immobile. Scruffing can be highly erotic, but it can also be the deepest of violations.
He whines.
The hands that command an entire industry now holding him down as he tries to get up for a final and painful time, as the Alpha releases his neck with a squeeze.
Shen Wen Lang. He is trying, truly. Please let him do the right thing. For both of them. He could never forgive himself for this.
The hand on the center of his back keeps pushing harder, forcing him to submit. His omega hind brain taking control over himself as his own Sage pheromones get released in response to every touch, every possessive breath, and pheromone pushed to make him surrender.
"You smell nice," confesses the Alpha over him. That small comment manages to pull Gao Tu out of the heat haze controlling his brain. This is definitely not him, President Shen hates Omega scents, specially- specially his sage one. He thinks with pain in his core.
Ready to beg, to do whatever is necessary to not do this to President Shen, he forces himself to fight against this again.
"Let me go," asks Gao Tu, with a gasp, as he feels the hot and hard member against his body, everything in him begging to be filled. He can feel the slick coming out of him. He hates himself for it.
"Let you go?" The Alpha asks with a voice that he has never heard before. "You filthy omega."
Soft and long fingers caress his lips, trying to gain entry into his body. "You planned this. Didn't you?"
He didn't; all he tried was to hide. He did not want it like this, never like this. He did not wish to use his pheromones to force Wen Lang into this.
He bites his finger, trying to push him away. The Alpha's response to force him down harder over the bed and releasing calming and submitting pheromones. Gao Tu's body doing it as well, enticing the Alpha further with his Pheromones, begging to be met with the response of a strong Alpha.
A groan comes out of the man over him. Caressing hands releasing even more pheromones, forcing him to stop fighting, pushing him down further into a submissive state.
A warm nose and lips on his neck, teasing his scent gland and smelling the aroma as if he needed it, make him shiver.
"So sweet," confesses the man, drunk on the scent.
A single tear is Gao Tu's only response. Shen Wen Lang would never call him sweet, would never think he smelled nice. This is only a forced rut speaking, and it breaks something in him.
The man over him, his boss.
He would never touch him like this.
He would never want him.
It hurts too much, and it hurts even more how much he wants this.
Strong Alpha pheromones keep being released with each breath, keeping him pliable and ready for mating. The warm hands never stop exploring, touching every inch of him, removing his jacket, still unsure if the omega will try to flee again.
Gao Tu lets him, when he undoes his slacks, he lets him.
He needs this so bad, the pheromones, his heat, the warmth of the body over him. He cannot fight anymore.
He surrenders.
The slacks are pushed down with a harsh pull, the Alpha growling over him now that he has won his prize, and he is sure the Omega will not fight.
"All mine," The Alpha pulls his ear with his sharp teeth. "So pliant and pathetic."
He is caressed over his underwear, hands feeling almost soft.
He is already so damp with the slick being produced for this very purpose. His body begging to be used for the first time.
"You're so wet already," whispers the man over him, a light nip to his ear trapped within his teeth. "I could just take you, and you would probably love it."
Gao Tu gasps at the thought of it. He has never done this, has never been touched before.
This could hurt him badly. He has heard the horror stories. Has seen some of them.
He tenses, now suddenly terrified for his body instead of his heart and for his love's free will on this.
More calming pheromones get released, and he gets shushed with a peck to his neck.
"I'm no monster. "The alpha says as he pulls on his underwear so harshly that part of it gets ripped in his hand. "I will not cause you pain, you dirty thing."
The same fingers that are used to sign contracts, so elegant, so long, and capable, caress his entrance and draw a howl out of Gao Tu. He drowns it in a pillow, desperate to keep some control of this.
Shen Wen Lang may be too gone at this moment, but he could still recognize his voice. He would not risk it.
One finger is pushed into him, slowly working him until one turns to two and then to three, having him rock his hips against his will at the rhythm the man is using to bring him into the kind of pleasure he had never felt before.
He had never dared to be touched, not by himself or someone else.
Too risky to let someone learn of his designation.
And feeling too dirty to allow himself to succumb to his omega instincts.
With a grunt and a wet pop, the fingers get pulled out of him, drawing a pain-filled sob fueled by the sudden emptiness.
He needs this.
He has always needed Shen Wen Lang, but now is like as if he will die if he doesn't get touched, if he doesn't get filled until he can no longer feel pain.
The intrusion hurts, more and at the same time less than he imagined. Wen Lang is too big, too thick, even after his fingers had briefly prepared him.
Gao Tu tenses and cries out against the pillow. A soft and yet reluctant kiss placed on his nape, just below his scent gland, in response to the distress sounds coming from him.
It's too sweet for what he is feeling.
Almost too sweet to drown the pain. Both emotional and physical.
The Alpha caresses his hip and covers him with his pheromones again; he does not think the Alpha has ever used this much of them or in this calming way.
He does not move, allowing him to get used to it. Every inch slowly filling him as he had never been. It's too perfect, he does not deserve this.
As the man pinning him down is finally all the way in, Gao Tu feels the air punched out of him. He cannot breathe; there is only warmth inside of him and Shen Wen Lang.
Only Shen Wen Lang.
As the feeling completely covers his mind and his body relaxes on the instinct of being finally owned, the Alpha finally loses the little restraint he had left by allowing the Omega to get used to it, by violently snapping his hips back and fucking him in earnest.
That strong and powerful movement brings air back to his lungs as he gasps at the drag inside of him, making him gasp for air as it gets punched out of him with each thrust. The movements are sharp, on the edge of too much, pulling soft noises out of him that he drowns on the pillow.
The Alpha fucks him as if he needs it to breathe, the hands holding him down and touching every inch of skin available as if he will die without it.
Gao Tu feels the same.
It hurts. It hurts that it's so good, everything he didn't know he needed, and he will never have again. It hurts so much, it kills him that Wen Lang will never desire to touch him anywhere close to this.
A sting on his rear makes him yelp.
"Are you thinking of someone else?" The Alpha demands. His tone sharp between thrusts. "You trapped me here, and you are thinking of another Alpha?"
Gao Tu shakes his head.
"No. Only you." He vows with tears in his eyes. If only he could have ever wanted another.
The S-class Alpha growls and buries himself even deeper, his movements more aggressive.
"You're going to take my seed, all of it until you burst with it." The man commands, and the Omega under him whispers, only able to take it. "I'm going to fill you with pups. Take it, you-"
Gao Tu only nods in the dark, his voice gone. At this moment, he will take whatever he is given, even the poison-filled words that the Alpha is spitting at him.
It is not even the first time that he has been insulted by him.
His hips get roughly taken by both hands of the Alpha, and he gets positioned on his knees, his face pushed into the pillows. Pleasure-filled sobs hidden between the sheets as his hips push back on their own accord now that he has some freedom.
He will feel dirty tomorrow, he will feel like the trash he is for allowing this to happen tomorrow; but tonight, only tonight, he will let himself have it.
Shen Wen Lang's movements grow ragged, more desperate. His knot starting to swell, to catch on the Omega's rim. He cannot help himself, he allows it, he offers his hips and pushes back, feeling himself tense and come just as the Alpha pushes his member all the way back in a harsh movement and comes. Filling the Omega under him with his seed.
Connected.
It's almost sweet, almost too much. It almost feels like love.
Almost.
Gao Tu blinks the tears away from the stimulation and the closeness. He had never felt this close to anyone, and to have this with Wen Lang…
He twists a little and looks at the Alpha behind him, face hidden between the darkness, but Gao Tu would always recognize him, feel him even before seeing him. His Alpha, at least for only this moment.
As his heavy arms move, trying to regain control of his used body, he notices a sting. A bite on his shoulder, a mark. A temporary one.
He tenses; he would have never forgiven himself if the Alpha had marked someone against his will in such a way. Not that he will even forgive himself for this.
Shen Wen Lang must have regained enough control to bite him away from his scent gland. His instincts ordering to claim, but not to bond.
Of course, they would never be bonded. Of course, he would never want him. Not even during a rut caused by a high compatibility that disabled his brilliant brain.
The Alpha hums against the bite on his shoulder. Licking it slowly, providing help for it to close sooner. "You taste so sweet."
Gao Tu shivers and turns his face away, keeping himself hidden even when knotted by the Alpha.
"You probably planned this, wanted me to mark you." The Alpha spits, sounding drunk on pheromones, the aggression temporarily gone. "His left hand sneaked under him and placed on his belly. Just when he is filled to the brim. "You are so full, you are going to stay that way until I say so."
With that, the Alpha gets on his knees and pushes himself back to rest on his back, the Omega forced to go with him by his arms, and the knot keeping them together. Gao Tu now resting on the warm chest now under him.
Most of his clothes are gone, except his shirt and tie; the Alpha is still mostly clothed.
As he slowly comes out of the heat-filled haze, the Alpha keeps him close, alternating between licks and deep sniffs to his scent gland. Not leaving any of his own scent on Gao Ty, but keeping himself fat on them.
"So nice," He confesses while devouring the scent gland, and Gao Tu feels like crying again. "Who would know something so sweet would turn out to be such a whore."
The cruel comment pulls Gao Tu out of the little afterglow he had been in, and he tenses, using his still weak arms to push himself off the Alpha.
It hurts; it's been only a couple of minutes, and the knot is still swollen and definitely not bugging, but he has to go. President Shen will soon regain full awareness and surely will know it's him.
He has to go.
Now.
Distress pheromones fill the room as he pushes himself away with his hands and legs, still too weak from their activities and his heat. But he must leave.
Strong and toned arms embrace him and pull him closer as he tries to get away. Calming pheromones are being pushed towards him as he desperately tries to go. Even more powerful than the ones used before.
"Calm down." Shen Wen Lang orders, his voice tense. "You will only hurt yourself- Omega. Breathe, it will go down in a little while."
Gao Tu nods, his throat tight. He must go, but if he keeps struggling, Shen Wen Lang will not let go when it's time.
He would surely push for answers.
And Gao Tu is not willing to give them.
He nods again, partially drunk on pheromones, exhaustion, and the temporarily dormant heat that has receded for a moment while he is knotted.
"Stubborn," whispers Wen Lang as he steals another whiff of his scent. "Even juveniles know not to move when you are knotted."
Gao Tu lets his head rest on the chest under his back, temporarily giving up on his escape attempt.
Getting his strength back and letting the Alpha in Wen Lang think that he has won, so the pheromones stop, and as soon as the knot goes down, he can leave is the only plan he has. But damn, he will make it work.
His arms feel heavy, his legs useless, and yet he tries to get a little more comfortable on the lap of the Alpha. His movements slow and confused even after getting matted. He thought that maybe his heat would give him a small break.
The man grunts, "I cannot trust you. " He caresses Gao Tu's neck, his instinct allowing the Alpha access to it. "Not even with your own safety. I have to do everything around here."
His tie which was no longer in place, gets removed, and with surprisingly gentle movements, his wrists are held and tied together, placed over his head. Resting on the bed as they wait for the knot to go down.
There goes his chance of escape. He had no chance with that Iris scent filling the room. Delivered just to have him relax and submit.
The new position is not as comfortable, and Wen Lang must think the same, as he is slowly, perhaps to not have him grow anxious again, gets placed on his side. The alpha hugging him from behind, keeping him close with one arm and the other holding the bound wrists to not have them hang in the air.
"Such a small waist," says the Alpha in a husky voice, as his hand explores underneath the shirt he is still wearing. "I could break you if I'm not careful."
Oh, how true those words are, and he doesn't even know.
What he would do to be held like this in the light of day.
To not have his heart break in every little way every day.
As the minutes pass and the knot starts to deflate, he grows restless. He has to leave as soon as possible, but his hormones do not agree, as his body is made aware that the moment is done, it starts to fall into heat again, draging him under again.
He knows the sensations, the symptoms, the curse by heart now. His body getting warmer, too hot, his mind working slower, his core begging for his Alpha.
He sobs.
A soft, yet painful kiss on his neck is placed on him as the knot finally goes down. The arms around him pull him closer, and he whimpers at the sensation of the member inside of him thickening again.
"One more time, little Omega," explains the Alpha, hugging him closer, mating pheromones permeating the air again, lost in his body's control again, in his instincts. But this time the Alpha doesn't use strength to keep him; he's holding more than restraining. It almost feels like a question.
He could leave, he could try again.
But he doesn't have the strength to do so.
Too much desperate and pathetic love to do it.
The slender hands bring him closer. He's kept snug against the chest in his back and gets impaled deeper with the thick member inside of him. It almost feels bigger.
One hand pulling him by his hip and stomach, the other holding his neck almost delicately.
"Gentle," whimpers Gao Tu. The alpha is big, and even though he prepared him, it had just been his first time, a rough first time, and one where he had just tried to run while knotted.
He felt flayed alive, so tender. So used. "Be gentle, please."
He feels the Alpha nod against his skin, and slow and deep thrusts make him gasp.
He has nothing to hold onto, his fingers desperately trying to get anything in his grasp.
His desperate noises fill the room, as there is nowhere to hide them now.
It does not take long for the Alpha to quicken his movements, but he tries to keep them light. No longer pounding, his instinct to protect overriding the one to breed to claim.
It makes his heart bleed.
He would rather take the pain, the soreness of raw mating and instinct, than this. This that is so close to making love.
Almost what he wants to be happy.
"You can-" He gasps, desperate for release and to stop this longing.
He claws for air, and bites his lip, and the Alpha caresses his lower lip, stopping him from harm.
Stop this.
Please stop the care.
He does not deserve this.
Gao Tu licks and leaves a small kiss on the finger on his lips. Wen Lang gives a sharp thrust at that.
"Omega," He growls.
"You can- you, yes- faster," Cries the omega.
The hand against his belly pulls, and suddenly, he's being guided harshly on that thick cock. His Alpha's hips meeting his as he tries to catch up with the strong movements.
He is not allowed to move; only an Omega being used. And it makes it hurt less.
"So good." Confesses Shen Wen Lang against his ear, and he shivers at the compliment. "So good to me. so good for me, only for me."
He loses all ability to think and allows his body to be used, then melts at the Alpha's hand on his member. Allowing him to do whatever he pleases as the strong roll of his hips turns into relentless pounding.
He sees white, his entire body clenching in pleasure to the point of torture.
He comes to, to Shen Wen Lang nipping at his neck, soft kisses and licks all over it, but away enough from his mating gland to not have him worry too much.
Well not more than he already was.
Sage and Iris pheromones danced together in the air, so intertwined they could be one and the same. Both arms of the Alpha still holding him close, as if he belonged there.
It's almost peaceful.
Almost
He floats, but in the back of his mind he knows this has to end.
He's so full, stuffed that he feels he will burst with his Alpha's seed and still tied to him. He had been so empty, he had never known how much he needed this.
Between deceptively sweet attention to his neck and soft pets all over his body, he allows himself to touch back.
Trembling hands attempting what he never allowed himself to want.
It's still dark, only the lightest trace of shapes distinguishable even with his eyes used to this, but he guides himself with touch.
Strong chest and arms, a masculine and yet delicate neck, and such soft hair that smells like heaven.
It's so good, he almost purrs.
Almost
At some point, the knot goes down, his brain so full of mating and calming pheromones that the idea of leaving does not even cross his mind.
He is so lost.
He's on his back, arms around his Alpha, and now familiar hands caressing his face. So drunk on each other, scenting to the point of being one in every sense of the word.
He does not even remember when the Alpha started scenting him, allowing Gao Tu to carry his Iris scent as well. At some point, his hands break free of the tie.
The Alpha cannot get enough of him, keeping his lips on his neck, licking and tasting and inhaling every trace of his scent available to him. This is heaven.
"I want you again, little omega," Confides the Alpha over him. Sweet breath falling on his face, making Gao Tu whimper.
He needs, by great heavens, he needs.
He nods, his body protected by his Alpha over him, yet he stretches, trying to get as close to those lips as possible.
He needs.
He knows he is not allowed, but he needs.
Just once, only once.
He only gets to kiss a chin.
It's enough
Almost enough.
The Alpha sighs at the contact, his hard member being pushed back home again. He is sore, but he can take it; he will take anything.
Their lips meet for a brief second, and it is the best thing he has ever had and the hardest emotion as his eyes fill with tears.
The Alpha sushes him and calms him down with a clumsy and hungry kiss.
This time, his movements are slow, so slow and deep. The drag against his sweet spot so torturous, but he wouldn't have it any other way. It hurts. This is breaking him, destroying him in every atom that is a part of him, but this is what he wants.
He will gladly die after this is over if it means he gets to feel what being loved by Wen Lang is like.
Even if this is not love.
He's held by the chin, not allowed to move, barely able to breathe as the Alpha comes back and claims his lips again and again. Almost as if he wanted to eat him.
Gao Tu would let him.
Would let him do anything at this moment.
The pleasure is slow building, but ever present, the connection so deep he almost misses that at some point their free hands found each other. Holding on, creating a new connection. It is almost more intimate than the moments and touches they have shared tonight.
"Mine," admits the Alpha. His confession whispered between kisses.
It sounds as much like a question as an affirmation.
"Yours" Confirms Gao Tu.
He is Wen Lang's. He has always been Wen Lang's.
He will always be Wen Lang's
With another kiss, they finally find release together for the last time that night.
Soft rays of light wake Gao Tu. He's warm all over, and his body feels used in the best sense of the word, a firm and steady pressure all over himself. He feels safe, like he has not felt in years.
There are still pheromones from both of them all over the air, lingering over them, the clothes on the floor, and the bed. Still present, but no longer actively being spread.
He is so relaxed, floating until his brain finally manages to catch up.
Shit. He has to leave before Wen Lang wakes up; the sun is not up yet, but enough light has entered the room that he can clearly see his friend's features with barely any issue. If he can see, then Shen Wen Lang will definitely be able to recognize him.
Shit!
He pushes the heavy body lying over him to no avail. He's only death weight with how tired he must have been after their– mating. After some muted grunts, and decided but slow rearranging of limbs, and using all the strength he has in his legs to gently but surely push the Alpha from him and run away, he freezes as he manages to lift him an inch or so.
He is still full. So full.
They are still tied together.
The knot has not gone down yet.
It is not possible. Gao Tu is sure that in the time he lost consciousness was at least half an hour, and that is at the least!
Surely more than forty minutes with how he feels, he was not on his five senses, but the sky was still dark. Now the sun was almost up. This could not be.
He forces his body to relax, no distress pheromones out to wake the Alpha. Tension fills every inch of his mind, and he presses his eyes closed, hoping that it will go down soon enough. Before Shen Wen Lang wakes up and sees him.
Sees this.
Still, he keeps close attention to the Alpha's breathing and the member still inside of him. Ready to bolt as soon as he is able to.
How could he let this happen? Losing so much control over his body and going into heat in a public space, and so close to the Alpha. Heavens, this is a mess.
Minutes tick by, each one slower than the previous one, and it gets more difficult with each breath to keep calm. The son is practically shining over his face now.
At least ten more minutes have passed since he decided that waiting was the only available plan. Fifteen, maybe more minutes, and the damn knot keeping them together will not go down.
Is this normal? He doesn't think so. He never heard of anything like this in health class, and even the previous knots from the night before had gone down in half an hour or so. Did he break Wen Lang? Is his hatred for Omega so deep that his body no longer works correctly?
He is going to get fired, and he is never going to see Shen Wen Lang again. And how will he take care of his sister's medical bills?
The arms around him pull him closer, and a warm nose rubs against his sensitive neck. He must be covered in hickeys. How will he hide all of this?
He swallows a sob at the tenderness and keeps his eyes on the ceiling, willing the knot to go down.
Breathe in.
And out
In and out
Just as he thinks he may be able to go soon, he feels and hears the Alpha still over him. He tenses, ready to bolt, but still unable to do so. In desperation, he covers his face with his arm. This can't be happening.
Shen Wen Lang may be blessedly blind on the topic of him being an Omega, but he is not that blind that he will not understand them together in bed, naked and tied together by his knot.
He knows when Wen Lang connects the dots of them together in bed, and the previous night, as a low, primal growl fills the room. Aggressive pheromones reach his nose even when covering it; he tries to make himself smaller, but with the Alpha still on top of him, it is impossible to hide.
"You filthy- and manipulative thing-" The Alpha starts, his voice like something he had never heard before. Something terrifying.
Gao Tu's breath hitches in an attempt to silence a sob. His head shaking no.
"Yes, you did, " The alpha claims, and it hurts. The acid in his voice burns more than any of the putrid Iris pheromones assaulting his nose.
"Who are you?" The Alpha roars and pulls at his arm. He was ready for this; his arm was already tense, but it was hopeless. He is so much stronger.
Gao Tu let's go, finally giving up. He knew it would not last forever, but now he is losing everything. His arm gets pushed away and pinned against the bed.
It hurts.
It all hurts.
He gasps at the pull, his eyes looking anywhere but at the man he loves, who is now surely looking at him with disgust.
The aggressive pheromones and growling stop; it all stops.
"Gao Tu?" He asks.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Shen." He apologizes, still not daring to look at him in the eye. His eyes sting, but he will not cry.
"But you- the omega." He stops. "You are a–"
He feels more tears come to his eyes, but he refuses to cry. He will not play the victim. He will not manipulate him.
"I am that omega," He admits, his voice breaking, and dares to look back at him. His face is frozen between anger and betrayal. "I'm sorry, President Shen. I never meant for this to happen."
He wants to beg to explain, beg to have the alpha believe him. But he doesn't have the strength in him to do so.
He does not deserve it.
The Alpha tenses above him, and Gao Tu feels the knot give a little. Too little too late, but it's almost there.
"You lied to me, you betrayed me just as every last one of them." He spits, his voice icy. Every part of him that had not been broken dying.
He shakes his head. "No!"
The Alpha puts pressure on his arm.
"Do not lie to me!"
"I am not! I did, I lied about being an Omega. I lied and pretended to be a Beta, yes. But I never betrayed you!"
"Lies," his eyes are so full of betrayal and raw emotion.
He had never been like this.
He had been wrong; the coldness from him was so much worse than the ire that was there when he woke up and had not recognized him yet.
"I'm sorry"
"Get out of my sight," orders the Alpha. "Go!"
With a small nod and the little element of surprise he still has left, he pushes the man away and jumps off the bed on trembling legs. Shen Wen Lang looks at him, stunned from the side of the bed he fell to as he clumsily takes his clothes from the floor.
He can feel fluids and all of the evidence of last night falling down his legs, but he ignores it.
Ignores the shame.
His underwear is ripped beyond repair, so he just skips it; his pants get hastily put on. The shirt is missing a button, but it is still usable. He bends and it hurts, but he ignores it and grabs his coat and phone.
Without even a last glance, he rushes out of the room. Not bothering to breathe or do anything until he is at least two streets away.
He knows how he looks.
Filthy.
Still, he ignores the curious or judging glances thrown his way as he calls a cab with his phone, now walking slowly. At least he had a little battery left. It takes him a while; his screen is shattered, but at least it still works. Mostly.
It glitches.
The drive back to his house is silent and tense. The omega driver looks at him with understanding eyes, and he hates it.
He hates him.
He hates himself.
He hates that part of himself.
But it is not just a part of him, is it? Is the entirety of himself. He is an omega, no matter how much he ignores it. How many pills he takes or how much he injects himself with inhibitors.
He is still an omega even when he tries to change it.
He hates it, everything. Everyone
But never Wen Lang
The next two days, he spends in bed, so distressed that he puts a small nest together. It's not good.
Its pathetic.
He has no practice with it, but is a little more comfortable than his normal bed.
A part of him worries about someone spotting it, but there is no point in hiding it now.
Shen Wen Lang knows now, and probably half of HS as well. He shivers as a sharp cramp hits him on his belly, and he hugs himself closer, pulling his ruined shirt closer. It smells just like the mix of Shen Wen Lang and himself.
He doesn't have it in him to feel ashamed of finding some comfort in the familiar scent.
The heat lasts barely more than a day and maybe a half. It's still painful and a little too much. But he is less warm than usual, and the aches take a little bit less out of him. He needs even fewer painkillers this time. He is still sore, so tender, but it is not painful; it's almost like a comfort.
He knows that the lack of torture in this heat is because this is the first and only heat he has spent with an alpha, but he does not want to look too much into it.
He gives himself two more days. He spends most of it visiting his sister, and even in a moment of weakness or strength, he looks for job postings online.
The pay from all of them are not even nearly half as good.
He knows he was fired. There is no point in ignoring it, but he would still like to go and pick up his things. Perhaps the Alpha is even waiting for him to quit so as not to be accused of omega discrimination.
He sighs, so bone tired and not ready at all on the fourth day. His lip is bitten and his neck is covered in red spots that he does not dare to name as love bites. His eyes close without his permission, and images from that night fill his mind.
For a moment there, for only a moment, he felt wanted.
It almost felt real.
He felt– content with his designation. But not now, now being an Omega has brought him only pain to him and his family.
Gao Qing does not deserve what he has brought to her with his mistake.
His suit is clean and presentable as always. He wants to keep his pride, keep his head held high, even if he has been outed as an Omega. He was a good, loyal, and responsible worker, and he will not let them see him as anything else.
His designation will not take this away from him as well.
With a last look at the mirro,r he puts his tie into place and goes to the HS building for the last time.
He is surprised when he is allowed to walk through the doors, not even getting a second glance from the guard. No strange looks from people or the receptionists, he greets every morning.
He arrives at his desk and finds it just as he left it; a part of him believed it would be empty. Or occupied by someone else if Wen Lang wanted to make an example out of him. His coworkers greet him as always, no strange glances. There are even a couple of nice comments about being glad he is back.
He knows President Shen is already there. He feels his presence in the same way that he feels when his body is going to rebel against himself and go into heat. He is attuned to the Alpha after so many years of being by his side and loving him.
Well, that ends today; it has to end today.
He allows himself to sit one last time at his desk, long enough to sign the resignation letter and put it in its official envelope.
He adjusts his suit as he gets up and walks as straight as possible towards President Shen's office. He feels a little proud of not shaking or crying.
He knocks on the door and enters when the familiar voice lets him in. A part of him hoped he would be told to go away.
There he is, Shen Wen Lang. The man he has loved for a decade, and the man who has hurt him in every way, in that familiar suit he always wears with the deep blue shirt. He had always liked that one the most. Of course, he never told him that.
His hair is the same. He looks untouched by what happened that night. Of course, it did not mean anything to him.
The Alpha raises his gaze at him and tenses. They lock their gazes with each other as Gao Tu walks towards the desk. Each step takes so much effort.
"You are late," Scoffs the Alpha, his voice tight. "You are gone three whole days without notice and return when you please as if you were irreplaceable. I should demote you."
That stops him on his last steps as he is reaching the desk. Almost tripping in his confusion. Does he not remember it?
Some Alphas can be confused when in rut, but he was fully aware when he told him to leave.
Was he not?
He called him by his name. He knew it was Gao Tu.
"What, Secretary Gao? Will you not say anything?"
He only extends his hand with the envelope cradled between them. He tries to keep his hands and heartbeat steady, not showing any emotion now.
He cannot lose even more now.
All that he has left at this very moment is himself.
And his sister, but he will not bring her into this.
The man rolls his eyes and extends his arm to take the letter.
He opens it with an annoyed look. Almost as if he was doing him a favor.
"What's this?" He asks and replies to himself. " A resignation letter?"
"Yes, President Shen, I am quitting effective immediately–"
"No." Interrupts the Alpha.
What? Does he want to fire him himself? He thought the man was disgusted, that he would never want to see him again. Now, he only looks at him with annoyance on his face. As if he were a child throwing a tantrum.
Does he truly not remember?
Did something happen, and President Shen lost his memories?
"No? But sir-"
"Are you stupid? I said no. You're not quitting." Says the Alpha while ripping his resignation letter in half, "Now go and bring me the report from this last bimester and my tea."
Gao Tu nods in a haze. The floor has been pulled from under his feet, and he has no idea where they are standing.
Shen Wen Lang would never let anything like this go...
Does he really not remember?
A small pang in his chest is his only reply, and he nods. Turning to leave and continue his job that he apparently still has.
"And Gao Tu," Calls the Alpha when he has taken only one step towards the door.
He turns and watches the president of HS take something out of his desk.
"Yes, President Shen?"
"You left this." The man explains, giving him back his glasses. His expression blank. His eyes almost bored. "You forgot them in your haste when you left the supply closet at X hotel."
He knows
Shen Wen Lang remembers that night.
Fuck.